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glasvera · 2 years

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Tell Me What We Are

Kevin x Fem!Boss/Boss Lys

Description: It's been about a month since Kev and Boss Lys admitted their feelings to one another. Two kidnappings and a lot of life-threatening violence later, she's convinced herself that pushing her friends away, especially Kevin, is the only way to keep them truly safe.

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of blood (stitches coming undone on a stab wound), alcohol, and vomiting from said alcohol consumption.

A/N: This is functionally a sequel to "Soaked" but can be read as a standalone! I have so many feelings about these guys.

Word Count: 4667

Her glass hit the bar counter with a thud, the ice rattling inside as she huffed out a sigh. She braced her forehead against the palm of her hand as her eyebrows knit together, trying to gather her thoughts yet also drowning them with alcohol. The bass of Kev’s playlist still thrummed quietly in the background, sounding lifeless now as it echoed off the church’s interior amidst the decor of balloons and blood splatters.

Lys’s whole body was taut as she chased back another rum and coke. She swallowed it with a wince as it hit the back of her throat, feeling no more relaxed than she had several glasses ago. Lost in her own head, she didn’t realize Kevin had come to stand next to her until he leaned forward against the bar. Her hand came to clutch at her chest in surprise and she gasped sharply. She briefly lost her balance on the stool, stumbling a bit, and her fingers went white-knuckled around the glass she kept herself from throwing across the counter.

“Whoa, whoa, Lys. It’s just me,” he reassured her as he placed a comforting hand on her back. “Thought I might find you here after…” he cleared his throat, stopping himself from finishing that sentence. “You, uh…” he glanced down at the glass in her hand that the bartender was moving to refill. “You doing okay?”

She grimaced, turning away from him as she steadied her breathing. “Mm… I’ll be fine,” she replied curtly, albeit slightly slurred. “I alwaysh am.” Tears threatened to form as she thought about what could have happened, what had almost happened to all of them. “...have to be,” she whispered under her breath.

Kevin turned to the bartender and shook his head, making a motion with his hand at his throat to cut her off. He pulled up the stool next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and placing his hand over hers.

“Lys, you’re shaking,” he observed, squeezing her a little tighter.

“Mmhmm… Pro’lly the A/C,” she murmured dismissively as she leaned into the familiar warmth of his bare chest.

“Lysbet,” he addressed her concernedly, “look at me.”

She blinked away the wetness in her eyes as she sheepishly turned towards him. Her bangs hung over the half of her face that he could see and he sighed. He removed his hand from her shoulder to reach for her face, but hesitated for a second at the way she winced. When she finally nodded, his fingers gently brushed the locks of hair away, and he felt a pang of sadness at her downcast expression. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, but it was as if all other color had been drained from her character completely.

“Shouldn’t have t'see me like this,” she whispered as her eyes darted off to the side and she moved to turn back away. “Y'should get some sleep, Kev.”

He huffed out a soft laugh. “We’re best friends, not some fair-weather bullshit,” he reminded her with a pat on her back before leaning closer to her ear, “and I love you. I won’t leave you like this.”

She shut her eyes, holding back the renewed onset of waterworks as she pursed her lips. “Kev…”

He had already stood up and was grabbing her hand, trying to lead her away from the bar. She tumbled forward and braced a hand against his chest as she fell against him. He couldn’t help but chuckle softly as he steadied her. “You need rest,” he started, glancing over pointedly at the bartender that stood at attention, “and a glass or three of water.”

She shook her head to try and stop the room from spinning around her. “Kev, you don’t have t' take care of-”

“Too late,” he interrupted her with a smile. “You’ve taken care of us enough. Let your crew take care of you now,” he reassured her with a brush of his thumb over the back of her hand before scooping her up into his arms. “Plus, I…” he trailed off for a moment as he looked up at the ceiling. “I wanted to talk to you.”

She could feel her heart clench at his words. Lys was pretty sure she already knew what he wanted to talk about; it had been weeks since their confessions and first time together, and things hadn’t exactly moved beyond that. As a matter of fact, they’d both been carrying on almost as if it had never happened. “Yeah… o-okay.”

Some of the crew took notice of the affectionate gestures between the two of them and whispered amongst each other as they cleaned up the mess the Nahualli had left. Kevin sighed, glaring at the lot of them. “The Boss has had a long fucking day. Let me worry about her, and you guys can worry about cleaning up the church.” They all abruptly returned to the tasks at hand, hanging their heads with a chorus of “yessir”s and “sorry, Boss”. Kevin shook his head and made his way through the church as he carried her into one of the rooms of their detached living quarters. For the first time since the party, she couldn’t help but feel safe. His body was warm, and the scent of his cologne was familiar and comforting.

Gently laying her down on her side, he crouched next to her as he fixed her hair and pushed it out of her face. He grabbed one of the pillows and lifted her head to prop it up underneath. Lys’s vision was still spinning, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him as she reached out to hold his hand.

“Lys,” he addressed her, staring at the floor trying to think of what to say. The pause gave her mind plenty of time to wander. Several iterations played out of how he was going to tell her things wouldn’t work, or how she wasn’t right for him. She wouldn’t blame him for any of it. Fucking up relationships or misreading people was something she’d grown used to. She could handle that rejection, but she couldn’t handle the silence any longer.

She squeezed his hand firmly. “You… you d'serve better,” she blurted out, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

“Did I… wait, what?” his eyebrows scrunched together as he looked up at her, bewildered. “What are you talking about, Lys?”

“Being with me… s'only gonna…” she trailed off, scrunching her eyebrows as her stomach made a strange noise. “Oh shit-” she clamped a hand over her mouth. A sickening lurch in her esophagus warned her of what was to come next if she didn’t act quickly.

“Lys…?”

She gagged and pointed feverishly at the small trash can nearby. He slid it over and she snatched it as soon as it was within her reach, retching the contents of her stomach into the bin.

Kevin grimaced. “Shit, Lys. How much did you have?” he asked as he rubbed her back soothingly, holding her hair back with his other hand.

“Not… hrgk… not 'nough,” she coughed out as she breathed heavily, trying to keep it down as pain bloomed in her abdomen.

He scoffed, shaking his head and pulling away from her to stand up. “I’m gonna get you some water.” As he headed towards the door, he turned around and pointed a finger at her. “Stay on your side! You might choke if you're on your back. ”

“Yes, dad,” she murmured groggily as he exited the room. She coughed into the poor, desecrated bin before wincing at the metallic taste that filled her mouth and red splatters in the can. “Shit…” She glanced down beneath her jacket. Blood pooled at the knife wound she’d hastily stitched up earlier in the day, soaking into the sheets underneath her. The myriad amount of heroic stunts and near misses all seemed to be catching up to her at once, and her vision darkened slightly as she tried to blink herself awake.

“Alright. If you’re done spewing, let’s get you upright so we can get you hyd-” The glass crashed against the floor as Kev dropped the water he was carrying. He saw her panting heavily, arm draped off the side of the bed with blood coating her fingers. “Lysbet!” He yanked off one of the pillowcases, balling it up in his hands as he pressed it to her stomach to stifle the bleeding.

“I’m… fine… Kev,” she muttered weakly, attempting to wave her hand dismissively at him before it fell limply at her side.

“Fuck no, you’re not!” He sat her up enough to remove her jacket, getting a closer look. “You’ve been running around with this all day?” he asked incredulously. She looked even paler than when he’d found her at the bar.

She slumped against her elbows, dizzy from alcohol and blood loss. “Thought… thought I’d stitched it up enough… figured it was fine.”

“You do realize alcohol is a blood thinner, right?” Eli’s voice piped in from the doorway, having heard the shattering of glass. Kev shot him a “not now” look as he continued dabbing at the wound with a fresh cloth. He shrugged apologetically. “I’ll just… go grab the first-aid kit.”

“Don’t forget the vodka!” Kev called back as he shook his head at her. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

Her eyes were half-lidded as she tried to look at him, nodding faintly as blood dribbled from the corner of her mouth.

-----

Lys didn’t even remember passing out. She woke up to the harsh light of morning pouring through the window and scrunched up her face, her head feeling like it had been the victim of multiple stab wounds. She groaned and tried to sit up, grimacing at the pain in her abdomen as she looked down to see fresh bandages around her waist.

A long, drawn out sound somewhere between a whine and a howl emanated from the corner, and she looked over to see Kevin groggily stretching out his arms over his head from one of the chairs next to the bed. He opened his eyes and gave her a wide grin. “Morning, princess. How are you feeling?”

She rubbed the sleep out of one of her eyes and crossed her legs under the covers. It dawned on her that there was no blood on the sheets and that she must be in Kevin’s room. It seemed obvious now as she noticed the stereo set up and colorful array of LED lights and posters scattered along the walls. “Mm…shit hurts, but I’ll be alright.” Her brows pinched as she realized, “Been there all night?”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, guess I have. Must’ve dozed off while I was keeping an eye on you,” he admitted, craning his neck from side to side to stretch the muscles. “You’re kind of adorable when you’re asleep. A lot less murder-y.”

Lys looked away for a moment, feeling the guilt of the situation pile onto her further. “Kev, you didn’t have to-”

He sighed and frowned at her as he reached forward, taking her hand in his. “You’ve saved me twice now. Let me return the favor, would you?”

She shook her head and stared down at her lap. “You wouldn’t have needed saving to begin with if it weren’t for me.”

“This again?” he huffed, slumping his shoulders slightly in defeat. “...Did I do something wrong, Lys?”

“What…?” Her head snapped towards him, confused. “Why would you…?”

“You keep pushing me away. When we…” he trailed off, clenching his jaw for a moment as he swallowed. “You said you wanted me. Wanted us.” His fingers laced through hers as he ran his thumb along the back of her hand. “I know things have been hectic, and I’m not asking you to drop everything and spend all of your time with me. But… it feels like it never even happened.” His deep brown eyes bored into hers. “I’ve tried thinking of all the things I could have done to drive you away from me, but I honestly can’t come up with anything.”

“Kev…” She scooted over, tugging on his hand gently to guide him onto the bed with her. He lied down in front of her and settled into the plush mattress, his spine thankful for the cushion of a proper bed as Lys brought his head to rest in her lap. “You never did anything wrong.” Her fingertips traced delicately along the lines of his face as she caressed his cheek, and his eyelids fluttered shut at the contact.

“Then why have you been so distant?” he asked as he brought a hand up to gently brush along the skin of her wrist, plucking at her hair tie absentmindedly.

“I…” She sighed, her lips parted in silence for a moment. “Ever since we started the Saints, I’ve been reckless.”

He snorted. “Oh right, because you were the absolute picture of safety before,” he teased.

She smiled slightly and lightly tapped him on the nose with her finger. “No, but it matters more now. The stakes are higher.” Lys pursed her lips as she looked off to the side. “You have no idea how much I panicked when I realized you’d been kidnapped. When I thought there was a chance I could lose you…”

“Lys…” He opened his eyes and stared up at her, giving her arm a squeeze. “It turned out okay though. You saved me.”

“But what if I hadn’t? What if I didn’t make it in time?” She scowled, tilting her head to hide her face behind her sleep-mussed hair. “I was the reason things got fucked up between you and the Idols. I was the reason we formed the Saints and you all put yourselves in harm’s way. Nobody would have gone after you if you hadn’t been involved with me.”

He sat up suddenly, twisting around and taking her face into his hands as the bed creaked beneath them. “Lys, I want you to listen to me carefully.” She blinked and let out a deep sigh, eyes meeting his after a moment’s hesitation, and nodded. “Things could have gone bad, sure. I’ve been faced with more thoughts of my own mortality in the past month than I’ve had my entire life. But don’t you dare say that I deserve better, or that it’s all your fault that shit hit the fan a few times. We choose to stay by your side. I want to be by your side. And you can’t decide that for me.”

She felt her eyes water and she tried to blink it away as her chest heaved with a sob. The emotional toll of the previous day and a month’s worth of anxiety was beginning to spill over, tears now streaming from her eyes. Kev’s gaze softened as he wiped them from her cheeks, kissing her forehead gently.

“I was so scared, Kev. I-”

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her to his chest. “Shh, shh… I was scared too.” He stroked his fingers through her hair as she cried into his shoulder. “I was…” He paused with a sigh. “There were a few hours where I thought you might be dead,” he admitted, his voice faltering slightly. His arms wrapped around her tighter as he recalled the “bonding” time they’d spent with the Nahualli. “It hurt so fucking much. It was all I could do to just play along with that freak and hope that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong and you were coming back.” He chuckled softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to have my wish come true.”

They sat in silence for a moment as he held her close, allowing the shuddering of her sobs to subside slowly. The sound of his heartbeat soothed her as she steadied her breathing and nestled her face into his neck. He rocked her back and forth like a child, cradling her gently.

She sniffled. “I’m so sorry, Kev,” Lys whispered meekly as she dug her fingers into his shoulders. “For everything.”

He kissed her head and took a deep breath. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He cocked his head to the side after a moment’s pause. “Okay, maybe you can be sorry for not letting us help you out sooner,” he chastised lightheartedly. She snorted as she wiped away some of the tears with the back of her hand, nodding her head.

“Yeah, okay,” she admitted with a slight smile. She lifted her head to look up at him. “Kev?”

“Yeah?” His brow raised as he leaned his head down to meet her gaze. Her face was blotchy and puffy from crying, and her hair was a tangled mess, but he couldn’t help but find her beautiful.

“I really do love you, you know,” she murmured, brushing her fingers along his jawline. “I’ve been really shitty at showing it, I know. I just…” She drew shapes against his chest with her fingernail, biting her lip pensively. “The thought of you being in danger was worse than any thought of you rejecting me. I thought if I pushed you away…”

Kev shook his head with a smirk. “I thought we agreed to ‘forever’,” he teased, running his fingers through her hair to work out some of the tangles. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

She giggled, a genuine smile spreading across her face. “Even after all this shit?”

He cradled her head in his hands, crashing his lips into hers as she inhaled deeply, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pressed his forehead against hers as his hands came to rest at her waist. “I love all of you. I love being with you. Crazy murder rampages and occasional kidnappings are just part of the job description.” He gave her sides a gentle squeeze, careful to avoid her injury as his eyes gazed into hers lovingly. “Plus, you deserve someone who can take care of you, too. And I don’t just mean on the job,” he punctuated with a tap of his finger on her nose.

She tittered softly before placing a soft peck to his lips. “I’ve tried to be better about that. It’s just… this is the first time I’ve cared about someone this much.” Her thumbs massaged soothing circles into the back of his neck. “And the first time someone I’ve cared about has been kidnapped not once, but twice,” she added, cocking her head from side to side in emphasis.

“Yeah, yeah. We both have some things to work on in this relationship,” he joked.

“Oh stop, that's not what I meant!” she retorted, their laughter filling the room as they held each other. She uncrossed her legs, climbing into his lap with her back to his chest. Hunching over her, his arms wrapped snugly around her tummy as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

“I know.” He pressed kisses to her shoulder, his nose tickling against her neck as she shivered and let out a sigh. “So…” His fingers danced along her bandaged skin, coming to rest on her hips. “Think we could…” His hands splayed out on her thighs, slowly sliding inward. “...Make up for lost time then?”

A knock on the doorframe startled them as they halted their movements. “Thought I heard you guys talking, so I figured I’d come see how the Boss was doing and-” Eli stepped through the door, looking down at his phone as he idly swiped through his notifications. He looked up from the screen and went wide eyed, jaw hanging slightly agape. “A-Am I… interrupting something?” His voice came out in a slight squeak.

“Yeah, feels like you’ve developed a real knack for it lately,” Kevin quipped playfully as he returned his hands to a more appropriate position on Lys’s waist.

“Is Kev in there? Kev!” Neenah called out from the living room. “You said you were gonna make us waffles! It’s already 11:00!” she complained.

The boss smiled sheepishly, a blush creeping on her face as she shrugged at Eli. “It’s uh… well-”

Kev didn’t seem to mind, giving her an exaggerated smooch on the cheek as her blush deepened. “Sorry, I overslept! I’ll be out in just a sec, Neenah!” He lifted Lys with ease as he slid her off him gently, scooting off the bed to retreat to the kitchen. “Want some waffles, babe?”

“Uh-uhm-” she stammered, her whole face and chest going red with embarrassment at the pet name as her stomach flipped. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks, Kev.”

Eli still stood frozen and flabbergasted in the doorway, and Kev gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as he brushed past him. “Y-You… and Kev…?” He turned the idea over in his mind, blinking several times and adjusting his glasses. “How long has that been going on?”

Lys sighed, leaning forwards as she stretched her arms out in front of her. “It’s… complicated.” Eli furrowed his brow at her and she clarified, “A month? Technically?” She scratched the back of her head.

“You guys have been dating for a month, and you didn’t think to tell us?” he asked, voice raised slightly and almost sounding offended.

“You guys are what!?” Neenah shouted, the wooden feet of the couch screeching against the floorboards as she presumably jumped off it. A few seconds later she was at the door, catching her momentum against the doorframe while her head darted between Lys and Kev like she was watching a tennis match.

The sound of a metal bowl clanged lightly against the kitchen counter before Kevin reappeared in the doorway with a sly smirk. “Well, Lys?” he asked as he propped an elbow on Neenah’s shoulder. “What are we?”

She cocked her head to the side with her tongue in her cheek, glaring at him. “We’re… together. We uh…” She paused. “You remember that day I got stuck in the rain? And Kev had to come pick me up and drive me home?”

Neenah pondered for a moment and nodded. “Yeah! That downpour was a real doozy. Haven’t seen rain like that in years.”

"We uh… got kinda stuck. Or at least, I did. He pulled over and tried to help me and we, well…" she rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and wrapped her hands around her ankles.

“We had sex in the back of my car,” he finished for her bluntly, a proud, cheeky grin plastered on his face. Her jaw dropped and he simply winked at her.

Eli looked like he was about to have an aneurysm with the way he screwed his eyes shut and wrinkled his nose. “Ooo-kay. WAY too much information.” Neenah nodded in agreement, recoiling from Kevin and pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to clear the mental image from her thoughts. “But, I can’t help but think that you guys have been acting pretty normal this whole time. Why’d you guys hide it from us?”

Lys hung her head for a moment. “It wasn’t on purpose… like I said, things were complicated.”

Kev perched himself on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on her thigh. “We’ve all been going through a lot of shit, the Boss especially. Recent events made her silly brain think that distancing herself from us would protect us somehow.”

“Oh, Lys…” Neenah cooed, coming forward to kneel in front of her. “You know we’re all here for you.”

“We’re in this together, Boss,” Eli added, sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder as the mattress shifted under their combined weight. “Kev really did speak for all of us yesterday. We love you. You don’t have to hide anything from us, and you don’t need to constantly worry about us.”

She chortled. “I’m always gonna worry about you guys.” Lys looked between the three of them, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “But… Thank you. I love you guys so damn much.” Eli hugged her a bit tighter and Neenah gave her a warm smile as she rocked back and forth on her knees.

“But…” Kev piped up, leaning closer. “...you love me a little more, right?” he teased as he gave her leg a playful shove.

The room filled with a mixture of laughter and protests, and Lys shook her head as she eyed him lovingly. “I just love you a little differently, dumbass.”

He chuckled and gave her a peck on the cheek, squeezing her thigh. “Hey, as long as I get to be your dumbass.”

“Don’t worry, Kev. You’ve always been our dumbass,” Neenah jabbed, drawing a cackle from Eli as Kev scoffed and gave her the finger. Lys snickered at him and moved to lean against him, but it was too late as he grabbed one of the pillows from behind them and smacked Neenah in the face with it. She gasped and adjusted her glasses from the impact. “Oh, you’re getting it now!” Lys threw her a pillow with a devilish grin as Neenah caught it and went to town, pummeling him with the feathery mass as Kevin was forced to go on the defensive. He guffawed, desperately holding his pillow in front of his face to protect himself from the onslaught and falling onto his back. Lys saw her opportunity and ducked underneath his cover, grabbing his sides as she tickled his ribs.

“Oh-ho that is SO not fair!” he whined between laughs as he continued to defend himself while squirming beneath her fingers.

"All is fair in love and war!" Lys cried out triumphantly in her Bossonius voice as she poked and jabbed at his ribcage.

“Eli! Hold his arms down!” Neenah ordered.

Eli shook his head with a smile as he got drawn into their fiasco. “I’ll try!” With Lys’s assistance, they pried the pillow from his hands and wrestled his arms down. Eli put his full body weight into his grip to pin his wrists down and Lys straddled him to continue her tickle attack with a devilish, toothy grin. Neenah, now unimpeded, bopped him in the face over and over with the pillow as the four of them laughed heartily.

“Oh you guys aren’t getting ANY waffles now!” Kev cackled between slams of the cushion. After a few moments of relentless tickling and pummeling, he put his full strength into his escape. He yanked his wrists out of Eli’s grasp, nearly sending the other man tumbling off the bed with the force of it as he wrapped his arms around Lys’s waist and pulled her down against his chest. “Human shield!” he called, and Lys gasped at the few smacks of the pillow she got to the back before Neenah caught on and pulled back.

“H-Hey, that's cheating!” Lys laughed as she squirmed in his firm grasp.

“Oh, now she thinks it’s cheating!” he chastised before giving her a peck on the lips. Neenah gave up her attack, and she and Eli collapsed onto the bed as they all fell into a fit of giggles. Lys rolled off of Kev as she rested her head on his chest, reaching out to take one of Eli and Neenah’s hands in each of hers.

As the giggles subsided, the Boss laced her fingers with her friends' and sighed happily. “I know I sound like a broken record now, but I love you guys so fucking much,” Lys admitted blissfully as she caught her breath.

“We love you too, Boss. No matter what,” Neenah replied, giving her hand an affirmative squeeze. “Just… no more secrets from now on, got it?”

Lys breathed in deeply, a permanent smile on her face as she nodded. “Promise.”

“Oh and, uh,” Eli chimed in as the corners of his mouth pulled back in a grimace, “maybe lock the door before you guys try to do anything next time?”

#saints row #kevin x boss #boss x kevin #saints row fanfic #fluff and angst #saints row eli #saints row neenah #i can make my own gifs for my fics you have no idea how excited i am #glasvera writes #i have a type and it's himbo #boss lys #saints row spoilers #srr spoilers

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