glittremonster

[glittremonster]

Lol

[glittremonster]

Happy Birthday, Jake. I wish you were here. I miss you so much. If you were here, I would bake you the biggest, gayest birthday cake this world has ever seen. And I would give you so many hugs. You'd literally be sick of me hugging you. I can't believe you didn't even make it to 21. I can't believe that in just 2 weeks you'll be gone for an entire year. It just doesn't make sense.

[glittremonster]

You won't know

I feel like a stranger in my own body and it's very unsettling. I do not feel any kind of right. All wrong. By the time I get my appetite back, I have to fast for my next treatment. So I usually just go hungry. After treatment, I can't remember what year it is, let alone remember to take my meds. So that's out the window. One small success is that I am no longer taking the Klonopin. Otherwise, I feel absolutely crazy.

[glittremonster]

I am

Not a good employee, or daughter, or sister, or aunt, or lover. I am good at NOTHING.

[glittremonster]

I wish you knew what a terrible person you are for giving up on me. But, I am glad that since you're a coward, you walked out of my life. I don't have time for that shit. I need real friends who are going to stand by me no matter what, and you have proved yourself exceptionally unfit for that. How you have any friends at all, I'm not too sure. They obviously can't see your true colors.

[glittremonster]

💀

Lady Gaga at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards.

[glittremonster]

Madonna photographed by Herb Ritts (1990)

[glittremonster]

One year clean today. Only the second time. But hey, I didn't give up. At least I made it back. Very grateful.

[glittremonster]

Yaaassss

[glittremonster]

Sexxx Dreams

[glittremonster]

I'm not sure why I keep cutting. I guess because I made a decision that using drugs/drinking is no longer an option in my life. I never made a decision to stop cutting. I constantly feel like I need to be punished for something or other. So I punish myself. I bleed all over my freshly laundered bathrobe. I lie on the couch and cry, cry, cry. You will never understand how much it hurt me when you cut me out of your life. I will never understand why you would want to cause me such pain. I wonder who would even give a fuck if I disappeared. Besides Kevin. But I'm always fucking things up somehow. I don't know why I can't stop fucking up my life.

[glittremonster]

[glittremonster]

I didn't ask for this. And I'm so tired of fighting.

[glittremonster]

I don't like myself and I don't like my life. I don't know how to change and I'm so tired of fighting. I know you're all sick of hearing it. You don't know how to help and that frustrates you. I don't know how to help myself, either. It frustrates me.

[glittremonster]

I can't wait to die

[glittremonster]

Couple bruises from dance rehearsal but love rocking this silver VS! Thank you to the Angels  for treating me like family!

[glittremonster]

IT WASN'T LOOOOVE

http://gph.is/2d4OYtl