goodlorditsafire - Tumblr blog

[goodlorditsafire]

You know...

Sometimes I think I'm ugly (like, I know I'm UGLY, but I'm talking undiscovered blob ugly), but just now, at a farmer's market, I caught this really attractive guy staring at me. And when I finally looked at him he looked away quickly and rubbed the back of his neck. And then I think to myself, "Mae, you may be a potato, but you're fries-potential."

[goodlorditsafire]

For those who don't know, I work Farmers Markets in my area with the Boss, and have been doing so for about two years. And the best things happen while I'm sitting behind those tables. Here's a quick list:

- This scrawny white guy comes up to my table, and he's got this ENORMOUS black dog in tow. It looked like a Shepherd, but I'm no expert. Obviously, as a fellow pupper enthusiast, i ask the gender and name. He says, 'Her name is Hades.' 😍

- Not five minutes later, this other guy walks up, who looks surprisingly similar to the first guy, and he's got a similar looking dog in tow, except this one is white. Again, I ask the gender and name. He says, 'His name is Zeus.' I SMELL A SHIP

-I carry all my market necessities in my Captian America bag thats shaped like the shield (cause I'm Marvel trash) and one little boy wearing a Cap shirt sees my bag, gets this huge grin on his face, and starts whispering excitedly to his mom.

- Me and the Boss were working one particularly busy festival. It was so busy I didn't get a chance to look around like I normally do. One guy comes up towards the end of the night and notices my Infinity War shirt (TRASH) and says, 'Did you go over to the booth with the Iron Man cosplayer?' He could immediately read the disappointment on my face when I explained we'd been WAY busy. Not 10 minutes later, when the cosplayer was going to change out of costume, he comes right up to our booth and says, 'Someone told me you wanted to get a picture? I can never leave a fan disapponted.' So, not only was I SUPER embarrassed, but super grateful to that guy for getting me a pic with Iron Man (whose costume, btw, was AWESOME).

- We get the occasional disabled customer, amputees, wheelchair bound, and nothing makes my day better than giving them a sample out just talking to them, cause they always have the best SMILES 😁😙

-On more than one occasion, I've had little girls come up wearing princess crowns and every time, I ask, 'How may I be of service, Your Highness?' They either smile shyly and hide behind Mom's leg or start giggling and ask for a sample of strawberry (I sell jams).

-Vendors at particular markets are like their own community, everyone knows everyone and they all talk crap about the management when they screw up badly, or other crappy vendors. It's hilarious.

I love working in this business! 😂😂😂

[goodlorditsafire]

(Sound is very much required on this one.)

Sometimes food is so darn tasty you gotta sing its praises.

AWOOOOO! 

ʷᵒᵒ

[goodlorditsafire]

Here's how much the Internet has ruined me...

I'm at my sister's office, hanging out, making homemade Christmas cards from construction paper, and I all her if she had any, and I quote, "Do you guys have any of that thick white paper?" And she replies, "Thick?" And how did I respond?

"Yeah, with two c's."

...Thank you, Internet.

[goodlorditsafire]

Satan would definitely want to be the bard and gets sidetracked halfway through a quest trying to seduce Jesus

You die and go to hell. However, it is not at all like how the bible describes it. In fact, you go there as soon as they are starting a new game of DnD. Satan allows you to be their dungeon master. Write about the antics that ensue.

[goodlorditsafire]

Cable, Netflix, and all that gives you entertainment...YouTube gives us the facts we didn't know we wanted

one of the things i think is really overlooked about youtube is the incredible plasticity of the niche things u can learn about on it. yea netflix/cable can give me all 4 seasons of arrested development but can they give me a 13 minute 29 second video on the rise and fall of the beanie baby market manufactured by its morally corrupt corporate overlord and then shower me with videos on related subjects below??? for free, none the less?? i think not 

[goodlorditsafire]

PSA!!

Alright, so I know Incredible's 2 came out a while ago, but I just wanted to say that Tony Ridinger (if that's how you spell it) is the epidimy of best boy. I mean, not only did he ask shy Violet out, but was nice to her after losing his memory. When she confronted him at his locker, he never once undermined her, made her feel stupid, at least not on purpose, and was kind to her after the incident at the restaurant. After all her accidental blunders concerning him, he still was nice to her, got to know her (again), and finally, Violet got her date. Even when he was with Dicker, he was like, "It's not her fault superheroes are illegal. And it's not like I don't like strong girls, I'm pretty secure... manhood wise." TONY IS BEST BOY, YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!!

[goodlorditsafire]

I’ve only ever seen art and fanart of Homestuck, never really understood what it was about, but then me and Homestuck fanboy got “married” online, and he told me all about it..

shoutout to me for never having a homestuck phase

[goodlorditsafire]

Sooo...

I don't like being the bearer of possible bad news, but I'm sure you've all heard of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson getting they're own show. And, the only reason I can think of for their being in a show together is, well, because Cap is gone...Which would also explain Evans sad tweet about the end of filming Avenger 4. Now I'm sad

[goodlorditsafire]

Too accurate not to reblog

A brief description of every guy Sophie had ever dated.

[goodlorditsafire]

@thatoneuniverse WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[goodlorditsafire]

okay but neville longbottom as head of gryffindor house and there’s all these stories of him going head to head with an army of werewolves, being tortured by death eaters and killing Voldemort’s snake with godric gryffindor’s actual sword but when the students see him he’s like cradling a pot plant and crying cause he saw someone lost their pet on the noticeboard and they’re like “that guy? are you sure it’s that guy” 

BONUS: one of the older student’s get dared to go up and ask him if it’s true and neville just makes direct eye-contact and says “voldemort was a punk bitch” and continues knitting a lil baby sweater for a mandrake

[goodlorditsafire]

this is a harvest mouse appreciation post

literally the cutest animal ever in history look at this lil fuzz

tiny bean ! friendly bean

they climb on basically everything. probably to get closer to kiss u

if this mouse gets any more disney than this it will probably break out into song

just look at this tiny nugget !!!

harvest mice use their tails for stability while climbing but also to be unnecessarily cute. this deters predators

tiny feet !!!!! tiny toes !

momma with itty puffs

kisses !! 1 hit KO

they are literally too small how dare

harvest mice !!!

harvest mice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

harv e s t  m i c e  !! ! !!!

thankyou for your time

[goodlorditsafire]

Chaddick: Whats wrong?

Tedros: Agatha gave me a ‘get better soon’ card

Chaddick: What’s wrong with that?

Tedros: I’m not sick. She just thinks I have to be better

[goodlorditsafire]

Fuck it. Everyone who reblogs this is getting a superhero name, origin, and powers.

[goodlorditsafire]

Tony Stark: I’m busy

Peter Parker: Do you think drinking 36 cans of redbull consecutively would make my spidey senses even more heightened or would I just die

Tony Stark:

Tony Stark: I’m on my way

[goodlorditsafire]

Tom Holland as Peter Parker in Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)