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gritpyre · 6 days ago

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i'm doing it i'm writing my dimitri essay finally

i gave up on trying to organise my thoughts in any clear way because he's got me sooooooo unga bunga so i apologise if this reads very disjointed asjdhasjhdajdsh

OKAY SO i first knew about fire emblem three houses back in 2019 when it first came out because a podcast i listened to religiously talked at length about it and they had plenty of great things to say tho ironically neither of the three hosts played dimitri's route kajdsaksdj and i also remember at the time there was a lot of fanart going around so i gave it a peek through clips on youtube and quickly latched onto my blonde boy with issues - i would've loved to play it then but i was broke and didn't know when if ever i was gonna have the money to buy the switch

but his story spoke to me in terms of angst and whump but also related to his and other character's struggles of trying to live in a turbulent sociopolitical landscape and the grief that comes with that, along with facing your morals and principles and the person you want to be vs. the person you have to be to survive, especially since my country was recently coming out of insurrections and civil unrest that very nearly led to a civil war in 2018 so suffice to say this game was one of those things that came at a time when i very much needed to hear its message

now onto dimitri specifically i knew it was over when i first heard his voice, like i've praised everyone's performances and i meant that but his voice is my ultimate favourite hands down, it just scratches a very specific itch in my brain - and then when i saw the 180 change he went through after a timeskip that happens in the game HOOOO BOY lemme tell you i became ENTICED

like how do you go from this polite, kind honeymuffin cutiepie prince to the bitter semi feral hunk suffering from several nervous breakdowns all at once??

the difference seemed like night and day!!! but then as i got further into watching youtube gameplays, and now that i have played the game myself i can say the writing was on the wall in subtle and overt ways, the consistency and strength of the character writing done for him is probably on my top 3 of all time just for how darn consistent it is, it's by no means perfect but experience his journey over and over again and not get bored because of how good it is

which leads me to the tragedy and angst of his character HEHEHEEE but first i oughta say a lil about the setting of the game - so in short it's like fantasy medieval time and your protag byleth becomes a teacher at a monastery where the leaders of the three countries that form the continent go to study along with nobles and commoners from their territories, each of them has their own ideologies and ideas on how to best help their respective countries improve that range from gradual reforms to outright revolution, but the point is they all know something has to change because the current system isn't working anymore and instead is furthering the oppression of the unprivileged and noble alike

the game is divided in two parts, the second of which happens 5 years later where you see all your students changed by war, i should say each route has its variations naturally and i've only played the blue lions one so i can't be too specific on the others (which are the black eagles and golden deer routes) also this was my very first fire emblem game so i don't know how similar or different this one may be from other games in the franchise

BUT before all that at the beginning of the game if you pick the blue lions you're treated to one dimitri alexandre blaiddyd and one thing is made VERY clear from the get go: my dude fucking hates himself,, and if there's anything you need to know about me is that self loathing characters are PEAK roy catnip 🥴🥴

however, he's also extremely kind, earnest, easily flustered, apologetic, and endearing to the MAX, one of the first actions you must take is asking about the blue lion's house members, and you go to their leaders so they can tell you a bit about everyone and what does dimitri do?? he raves about his classmates, putting their good qualities to the forefront, and when you ask him about HIMSELF??? he has this to say:

Me? Oh. Um. Please forgive me... It's difficult to open up on the spot, don't you think? I'm afraid my story has not been a pleasant one... I do hope that doesn't color your view of me, but I understand if that can't be helped.

and this constant undercurrent of self deprecation only ESCALATES from here on out, you come to know that his birth mom died from an epidemic shortly after he was born, then he was raised by his father who remarried but both were killed during what was supposed to be a diplomatic visit to Duscur, a city bordering Faerghus (their kingdom) that had had a good relationship with the crown for years, so as the attack came as a complete surprise everyone that went except dimitri were massacred - after which the kingdom carried out a genocide on the citizens of Duscur in retaliation and it was dubbed the tragedy of Duscur which will be mentioned and brought up time and time again

NOW it's obvious that this weighs on his mind and he suffers from survivor's guilt and probably PTSD as a result, as he believes himself to be culpable for failing to protect anyone during the killing of his father, friends and soldiers, and for failing to prevent the murdering of the people of duscur as he witnessed that it wasn't people from duscur the ones that carried out the slaughter, but of course no one believed him since he was just like 11 years old at that point

he is also disgusted by the fact he harbors intense hatred and murderous rage towards those he sees as taking advantage of the weak of using their strength and power for selfish gain, he understands there are times he goes down the slippery slope and relishes in his own bloodlust and need to punish the wicked during battle - it's apparent he doesn't want to have those traits because he also believes life is precious and must be preserved at all costs, and it just creates a hella interesting dichotomy and internal struggle that gripped me throughout his whole character arc

in part one of the game he manages to keep the less savoury parts of himself under wraps, though there are other class members who know he has a darkness within as a result of what he lived through, and it warmed my heart to see how they all care for him and each other but another thing that's clear is that dimitri wants to carry his burden completely alone, which is terribly sad considering he drifted apart from all of his childhood friends due to his pain and guilt

his childhood friends in the game are Sylvain, Ingrid and Felix and i swear the guilt just keeps piling up on his because during the tragedy Felix's older brother died since he was a knight AND Ingrid's fiancee, he constantly apologises to them for that even though they assure him it wasn't his fault, take what he says during one of his exchanges with Ingrid for example:

But on that awful night, he died right before my eyes. I could do nothing to prevent it. In a way, I'm responsible for you losing the joyous future that should have been yours. I know my words can change nothing, but… I'm so sorry, Ingrid.

UGHHH i wanna reach through the screen and give him a hug hhghghggggg

he also wrestles with the idea that as king people will die trying to protect him, that it was their duty to sacrifice their lives for him even during the massacre, and this, along with the reality that he will also have to kill to maintain justice, and honestly the stress and self hatred of it all just makes him a ticking time bomb

he opens up the most with the protagonist pre-timeskip, but the full picture you slowly get through his interactions with others as well, some of my favourite are his support conversations with Gustave, Flayn, Marianne and Annette, there you can really see his best and worst qualities shine, like how he's attentive and happy to lend a helping hand, always checking in on others, and also how he's quick to give up on himself or say mean things about his skills and character

it's noted by many, like Gustave for example, that he's both a workaholic and doesn't hold his own life in high regard, as many times he has been admonished for being reckless in battle, but he confides in gustave that he believes he doesn't have much else to offer anyone other than charging ahead and clearing a path for the rest (which also fuels his self hatred because he hates killing but it's also the only thing he's good at soooo,,,)

here are a few of many self deprecating lines by this idiot low self esteemed blonde:

It's pathetic, I know, but I fear my sewing skills are… Well, as you can see, they're just about nonexistent.

I am disgusted by my own inability to express myself. Will you allow me to explain?

However, I have always been a man who is good for nothing but war.

Why did you save my life that day? Why did you not allow me to die along with the others?

Oh… Please accept my apologies for boring you with my life story.

dimitri, oh how i love you dimitri,,,,

i mean it's probably ovbious now that he's got,,, a bit of a death wish as well, this too is roy catnip

and THEN the protag's father dies at the hands of a mysterious enemy, and he does his best to be there for them and offer them words of solace, in which he tells that when they're done grieving they must find what exactly they're living for and cling to it so that they may rise above the grief, with the subtext that that is exactly what he did after the tragedy

albeit his reason was less than healthy, he confesses to you his main goal is to get revenge for everyone killed in the tragedy, that he feels it's his duty to do so because otherwise their souls won't rest in peace

DAMN all this yapping about him and i've only covered 50% of the game aksdjksajdkdsj okay okay i'm moving onto part 2 now

so at the midpoint of the game it's revealed the black eagles' leader Edelgard was behind the mysterious enemies you have been fighting since the beginning and conspiring to wipe out the church completely (based tbh) but dimitri, whose sanity is hanging on by a thread at this point, flies off the fucking handle and makes her his number 1 enemy as he believes she was behind the tragedy which,,, doesn't really make much sense narrative wise but go off king

all of his kind heartedness gets dampened by hatred and anger, he becomes merciless in battle and listens to no one but his own demons (almost quite literally for reasons i'll explain) and he's got the teacher and his fellow classmates worried

but you can do little to prevent what happens next as Edelgard, now empress of her territory declares war on everyone (but mainly the church) in an attempt to bring radical change and unify the continent into one empire like it used to be a thousand years in the past, during an assault on the monastery your protag fucking falls into a deep ass hole and apparently stays in a coma for 5 years

when they come to in a river in a village away from the monastery they haul ass there because they remember their class made a promise to meet at the monastery during the celebrations of the 1000th birthday of the church, but after the war that's been going for five years it's all ravaged and in ruins, you find dimitri waiting for you in his new cunty edgelord attire

and boy howdy if he was angry and bitter before he now looks and sounds x1000000 worse, you find out after your disappearance he was framed for murdering his uncle, who was like a placeholder regent while he was away studying, and was imprisoned in the kingdom and set to be executed, but escaped in the nick of time thanks to Dedue, a friend and vassal from Duscur he saved during the tragedy

however dedue is said to have died to give him the chance to escape, after which he's been on the run killing and stealing to survive and has gained a horrible reputation for the brutality with which he murders his victims, which are mostly imperial soldiers

gosh his character design is soooooooo *chef's kiss* for this, the way everything communicates savagery and ruthlessness had me going 😍😍😍it does a GREAT job of showing and not telling all the stuff he's been through

at this point he has completely surrendered on the idea of being anything else than a monster, which he reminds people of constantly when they try to appeal to his better nature, but by doing so he also reveals the revulsion and abhorrence he felt for himself has amped up by a tenfold,, or probably even more

he's not happy with what he has become but feels there's no other choice and that salvation is unobtainable for him now so why even try, plus in part 1 he alludes to hearing/seeing the voices and visages of his loved ones demanding he avenge them so they can move on, and it's implied and shown they have gotten worse during his years in exile to the point he's willing to use anyone and employ any means of getting revenge for them by killing edelgard, he himself says their souls are experiencing untold suffering because of their lingering hatred and regret

also an interesting gameplay choice that i adore was made here and it's that during this time he barely talks to you, can't interact with others or be invited to downtime activities

some dialogue i love of my beloved downright tweaking:

Father, Stepmother, Glenn, and even Dedue… I am certain this will bring them great joy. I know if I can just offer them Edelgard's head… I just know it…

So, that's been the witch's plan from the start. I should have killed her ages ago.

Are you asking me…asking the dead…to forgive that woman?

Not now! Not before…that woman's blood is spilled.

Please, Father… And you too, Stepmother… Do not gaze at me with that look in your eyes…

dimitri i would so find a way to get you pregnant

who said that!!!!

AHEM and other such conversations who nail just how deeply he thinks he's an irredeemable monster:

The Dimitri you once knew is dead. All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you.

Only hatred remains. If I could tear that woman to shreds right this very moment, I would.

Do not call me that. I am not a prince, but a walking corpse.

Even if it means becoming a rat myself. I swore to at least do that much… I will not let them down...

then after 5 chapters of him being closed off and torturing himself, Felix's father, Rodrigue who was like a second father to him, dies protecting him from a girl whose brother dimitri murdered - afterwards the protagonist finds him intending to march alone to enbarr to get his revenge as soon as possible, even if he has to do it completely alone

i legitimately cannot do this scene justice with just words you're just gonna have to watch it yourself jsdgfdsjhf

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after the dead of rodrigue, this encounter, and finding out dedue made it out alive (but only if you completed his paralogue battle, please complete his paralogue battle i beg you) he begins to calm down, which i think he went from angry and savage to remorseful yet open too quickly but i mean this game already has so much material i'm willing to forgive this even if it's a bit jarring

he begins making amends, but knowing he can't take back the horrid things he did, but bowing to do better and live for himself finally from here on out - which is an AMAZING way to do a redemption arc! knowing there are things you can't undo but being willing to keep going to hopefully avoid making the same mistakes in the future!! that's what i'm talking about baybeeeeeee

he regains his kindness and protective qualities back, and his allies are both glad and cheering him on to improve which is aksdjaskajsdhaskd i love it, i love how much they love and care for each other

AND even though he went from 100 to 0 quick, i think a saving grace was that he still felt, well, like himself, weighted down by his sins but not giving up on himself, understandably self deprecating after all he's done but allowing himself the grace and care of others too

i think his new mindset is best exemplified by his A support conversation with marianne, who is a golden deer student you can recruit to your house

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it's enough to make a grown ass woman cry WAAAAAAAAAH

i've been typing this for like 3 hours i gotta wrap things up HHHHHHHHHHH

so after his redemption journey starts he drops his desire for revenge and focuses on taking back his kingdom from the empire, reunites with his people that welcome him back with cheers which makes him cry (aaaa mimitriiiiiii) and through battles advances and takes back both the empire, and the other territory which is the alliance pleads fealty to him, their leader surrendering his position willingly so dimitri can unify the continent

but he still struggles during the course of it! which is a decision i commend because you don't go almost a decade living tragedy after tragedy and then turn a new leaf without any baggage EVEN when you have the support and understanding of your loved ones, this is something so few media does in a way that pleases me and that i find believable and true to the character and lo and behold this game is taking all the bases!!!! i love it, i love it so so much

because to me recovery isn't about erasing all your bad qualities in an attempt to make yourself perfect or more palatable, it's far more important to acknowledge them and make room for growth! to give ourselves enough grace to change in a way that suits us best, and to understand it doesn't happen overnight - it gets easier, you just gotta do it everyday, that's the hard part! but it does get easier

jesus christ i don't even know how to conclude this uuuuuuuh so yeah play fire emblem three houses dimitri is an excellent character also you get to marry him in the end 100/10

WHO IS THE BIG BLOND WHUMPEE SHAPED FIRE EMBLEM GUY??? tell me more about him!! my sign to play fire emblem just for him???

YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA SO his name is dimitri alexandre blaiddyd and he's from the game fire emblem three houses and its spin off three hopes

you should totally play it in fact i had just made an elevator pitch to a friend over on discord as to why it's a hella good game i shall share it with you as well:

well i think for starters i HAVE to praise the voice acting and dialogue writing in the game, it starts solid and stays like that for the entire run you go for, it's really inspiring in that way for me particularly, but also the lessons from it are quite precious and i think ring true to many irl topics such as dealing with grief, loss, isolation and a turbulent, often hopeless environment fair thing i gotta say is fire emblem three houses was the first from the franchise i ever played and i don't know much of anything about the other games, my brother in law called the combat a mix of chess and pokemon which is hilarious but true, i felt intimidated at first because i suck at strategy games and it took a while for all the combat mechanics to sink in for me but once i got a grasp it was pretty entertaining! three houses in particular you can choose one from three routes, so far i've only played the blue lions one but i've heard marvelous things about golden deer and black eagles routes, in general they all deal with medieval time systems and they talk a lot about the oppression they perpetuate and how the church causes tension between people but it's also a support system for others, and each route has the leader want to try and reform the land in their own way

AND to add a cherry on top i think dimitri from the blue lions is up your alley as well, he gets plenty whumped and has a metric ton of angst to deal with throughout the game

also you player character acts as their teacher and it's just augh so sweet to see them as your students grow and become stronger and thank you for it

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anyway it's got the roy 100% seal of approval and if dimitri looks whumpee shaped it's because he ABSOLUTELY is one

in my rant above i mostly talk about the game in general as i don't know how you feel about spoilers and i really can't rave about him without revealing some i fear :'x but if you want my all spoilers inclusive essay on dimitri i've also got it locked and loaded 🤘

BUT to entice you further, i shall share some screenshots i took of my run under the read more {: !

#roy speaks #THIS TOOK ME 3 HOURS TO WRITE HOW????#Youtube

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