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Chapter 21 and 22 of my King Caspian fic, With Courage, are up now on AO3!
#with courage#well isn't that a weird thing to write after three and a half years!!!#just look at that sad pathetic man [affectionate]#prince caspian#king caspian#caspian x#ben barnes#the chronicles of narnia#narnia fanfiction#prince caspian fanfiction#king caspian fanfiction#this guy has too many names#what if i did every variant of caspian the seafarer and caspian the navigator fanfic tags#like where is the reasonable stopping point here#ok i am going to go throw up now
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trying to edit chapter 21 down so i can upload it tonight because i am sad and fragile but she has instead grown so much i need to now split it in two.
what the fuck
#with courage#gnawing at the bars of my enclosure#oh well i will just upload both chapters#and then throw up lots
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very important scene being ruined right now because caspian DOESN'T HAVE A CANON SURNAME????? NOTHING????? HE'S JUST CASPIAN X??????? i'm going to kill myself
#with courage#mr lewis you are RUINING my romantic tension over here#do i make one up or do i just let this scene deflate like a sad little balloon#all the energy. the build up. only for [redacted]#narnia
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quick reread of chapter 26 tonight before i go to sleep. turns out i liked the phrase 'haloed in the high narnian sun' so much that i used it three times because i kept forgetting if i had already found a place for it or not. i think my brain is leaking out of my ears
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it has been twelve days. i have created a monster
i have unintentionally being lying to people for years when i would say with courage had two chapters left to go. this bitch refuses to end oh my god
#with courage#like......girl.#what is going on#they are being very silly and unfortunately it cannot be contained#another 15k added since that first post#sobbing
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the idea of people reading the new final chapters of with courage now that my writing has improved: good. yes. excellent. looking forward to it
new readers finding the fic and jumping from my writing at 19 to 26 because i cba to rewrite the entire thing: VERY BAD AND SCARY. putting me off from uploading. how do i warn them
#with courage#do you realise how hard it is to pick up a fic after four years with very little memory of what's already happened#but you're too scared to read old chapters because it's mega cringe and i just can't face it#IT'S REALLY HARD ACTUALLY#i found a doc of random scenes and i have no idea if they made it into the version i uploaded#and i guess we'll never know!!! oh well!!!
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WINONA RYDER as VERONICA SAWYER Heathers (1988)
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A cool thing about writing is that the better you get at it, the more you're aware of what you want out of it, which means it gets harder, which means you actually feel like you're getting worse.
And by "cool thing," I mean "what the fuck, man"
– Sam Sykes
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My hobbies include reading, writing and doing neither of those things
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amber & caspian at the end of chapter twenty but caspian has his head in the wave trying to drown himself
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with courage will be FINISHED and UPLOADED by the 17th september 2025 NO MATTER WHAT happens in my life between now and then.
(i have booked two narnia tattoos as a victory prize so i really need to commit to this now otherwise they will become a badge of shame)
#with courage#i have abandoned everything in my life to solely concentrate on this fic#it's now or never baby!!!!
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Enough about favorite books. What’s a book you read and absolutely hated? The book you’ve got a bone to pick with.
#oh boy where do i start!!#eleanor oliphant is completely fine#matched by ally condie#numbers by rachel ward#josh & hazel's guide to not dating by christina lauren#the babysitters coven by kate williams#love on the brain by ali hazelwood#those we drown by amy goldsmith#the long walk by stephen king#alice in wonderland#love letters for joy by melissa see#the unbecoming of mara dyer by michelle hodkin#exciting times by naoise dolan#the little coffee shop of terrors by hazel graves#that one was especially awful#scuttle by barnaby walter#the map that led to you by ella mcleod#a court of thorns and roses by sarah j maas#i am a hater to my CORE!!!
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writing would be so fun if i didn’t have to do it. like if i could just beam the entire story directly into people’s brains with telepathy and never touch a keyboard again
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