handsome-jacks-bottom-bitch

[handsome-jacks-bottom-bitch]

So I ranked vault monsters and my personal take on how difficult they were to fight on a first run through. So now, I'm gonna rank weapons. Not just weapons, but the weapon manufacturers specifically, based on how useful they are, and just how fun they are to use. I'll be including all brands, including brands that only show up in one game, like S&S Muntions. As per usual, these are purely my own opinions, and based more so on my personal playstyle. I will also be taking into account the manufacturers playstyles across all games, as some change, like Tediore or Maliwan weapons.

I'll also include some fun little tidbits about each manufacturer for anyone obsessed with Borderlands lore like I am. Buckle in, cause this is gonna be a long one.

12. S&S Muntions

So S&S Muntions isn't a super interesting manufacturer. These weapons provide larger magazines and long reload times. Featuring about 5 or so legendaries in the game, one of which to this day is still bugged, these weapons don't offer much, aside from a small damage boost compared to other weapons. They didn't add anything that made their use fun.

I also rank this one so low due to the fact that it's only in one game, and was never really expanded on, like say Tediore or Torgue was. According to the games lore, S&S munitions was run out of business by BANDIT weapons on Pandora, and SCAV weapons on Elpis, hence why it was never seen again.

As a fun little extra lore drop, S&S Munitions still technically exists in the games, as the radios in Borderlands 3 can play an add for the newly rebranded "S&S Accessories", which are responsible for the little lines of light that come out of the weapons on the ground, that are deactivated when the weapon is picked up, and reactivated when the weapons dropped.

At the end of the day, S&S weapons just don't impress me all that much, but that doesn't mean they still aren't useful. The Orion sniper rifle will always hold a special place in my loadout, regardless of the character I'm playing.

11. Eridian

So I was originally going to put Eridian last, but the weapons themselves are just so fascinating that I couldn't quite place it there. Now I know I'm putting both Borderlands 1 exclusive manufacturers at the bottom two, but unfortunately neither of them were really ever expanded upon to warrant higher placements.

Now the reason I put them above S&S is because of the way that these weapons work. While I personally rarely use them unless as a last resort, Eridian weapons have saved me once or twice, and that's because they have unlimited ammo. You never have to worry about running low should you find yourself depleted. Now the downside to them is the reload, or more accurately, the recharge. Eridian weapons have a recharge on them, that can still go even if you aren't actively holding one. Therefore, if you equip four, you can just keep swapping and essentially never have to wait for a recharge.

Now what's even more interesting about them is their rarity. While nearly all Eridian weapons come in a green rarity, they're technically rarer that normal green weapons. Even rarer, is the legendary Eridian weapons, which are rarer than some pearlescents. In all my time playing Borderlands 1, I've only ever managed to get my hands on one Eridian legendary, which was thr Eridian Mega Cannon. While it's not exactly an impressive weapon by any means, it can still have it's uses in a pinch.

Now I'm not entirely sure why Eridian weapons were discontinued after Borderlands 1, though one could easily assume that it was because they, well.. sucked. Most people did not like them, and I don't blame them. Their shots are slow, and they don't really do all that much. Come Borderlands 2, these weapons were essentially replaced by E-Tech weapons, much like S&S being replaced by BANDIT and SCAV, though no lore or dev comments state that E-Tech was made as a replacement for the missing manufacturer, it's just an assumption.

The only time we ever get to see Eridian weapons come back to the Borderlands games is in Borderlands 3, with the Eridian Fabricator or, as the fan base has taken to calling it, the "Gun Gun". It's cool in concept, but it's only real use is a quick cash grab. In late 2020, it was given an alternate firing mode that allowed you to pay it 250 eridium and have it shoot a legendary or unique weapon, and it's drop pool only excluded 4 legendaries and 2 unique, so while it could be used to try and spawn that legendary you've been looking for, it gets expensive real fast.

10. Dahl

So this one is where my own playstyle really affects this placement. Dahl weapons have a high recoil reduction, but terrible accuracy. In earlier games, they has special firing modes. When you aimed down the sights, these weapons would have burst fire, as compared to the full auto when you free fired. A pretty simple concept.. unless your a sniper like I am.

I love sniping in Borderlands. I love keeping my distance and one shotting most enemies with the most overpowered rifle I can find.. but Dahl is where that falls flat, as when you aim down the sights, it burst fires. Sniper ammo is already a small pool as it is, being the weapon with the lowest possible ammo count that you can carry, so when it burst fires, couple with the weapons low accuracy.. well, sniping doesn't become fun anymore, and leads to way more missed shots and wasted ammo.

However the one weapon I will give this manufacturer that I include in EVERY build I've ever used, is the Toothpick. An Effervescent assault rifle added into Borderlands 2 with the Commander Lilith DLC. This weapon especially holds a place in my Axton build, coupled with the Mouthwash artifact. This weapon is glorious, and I will forever defend it until my dying day. Unfortunately, that one blessing of a weapon alone isn't enough to change my opinion on this manufacturer.

While their weapons are pretty decent, when you delve into the lore.. Dahl is a messed up company. From it being responsible to a lot of the bandit population on Pandora, to the fact that it nearly destroyed Elpis with its mining operations leading to the crackening.. they've got quite a bit to answer for.

9. Vladof

So Vladof is on a similar level as Dahl. High fire rate, reduced recoil, and low accuracy. The only thing that puts it a step above Dahl for me is the sniper rifles, and the Infinity pistol.

Vladof sniper rifles have potential to do loads of damage, and pretty decent stability, meaning less sway. Now in Borderlands 1, this doesn't have much effect cause most of the sniper rifles honestly suck, especially in the early game. Most sniper rifles in the early game, at least in my experience, always have very low rates of fire, which isn't ideal when you have 20 enemies on you, and they deplete all your shields and half you health while you load another round. That being said, sniper rifles were greatly improved come Borderlands 2, including Vladof.

Now the reason Vladof isn't higher on my list is because I don't use them very often. The rifles and weapons are good, but I just don't find myself choosing a Vladof over others. The stability is good, and rate of fire and increased ammo capacity is a nice touch, but it just doesn't quite meet my needs.

That being said, the Inifinity is always a good gun should you find yourself low on ammo. As long as you have at least one pistol bullet, this gun will fire endlessly, with no reload. On top of this, it can come in elemental variants, which makes it good for endless elemental damage. I always keep one on me just in case I find myself somehow out of ammo.

A fun little fact about Vladof, is that thr company is run and owned by a man named Ivan Vladof. If you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequels DLC, and go through the challenge "A Bubble for Your Thoughts", you can actually find out that Nurse Nina is Ivan Vladofs long lost sister, which makes her conversation with her mother in the quest "Systems Jammed" all the more interesting, but we'll get into all that in another post.

8. Hyperion

Oh Hyperion, how you've screwed everything. Now as a concept, I adore Hyperion. I love it's backstory, I LOVE Handsome Jack.. but let's be honest, they aren't the best for weapons. Notably, the TERRIBLE stability. Sure, it becomes more steady the more the shoot, but GOD those first few seconds are hell.

Now don't get me wrong, Hyperion has some decent weapons. From the Bitch, to the Butcher, and the beauty that is the Morningstar berating you with every shot. However this company is also responsible for the Bane. That alone should put thos company at the bottom of the list, but alas, I'm merciful.. and biased.

Come Borderlands 3, these weapons got and added specialty, being the shields that they pop up when aiming down the sights, which are honestly.. useless. Especially if you've got enemies in all directions. While the terrible accuracy is a tad better in 3, it's still no great. Often times, Hyperion weapons rarely find themselves in my arsenal, and more than often find themselves right back in Marcus' hands for some quick cash.

Now while I've got plenty of fun facts about Hyperion, I'm going to save this particular manufacturer for its own post, as there's quote a bit of lore to delve into with this one. What I can leave you with though, is this. Did you know Handsome Jack makes an appearance in the Witcher 3?

In Witcher 3: Blood and Wine, if you take the story route that lands Geralt in prison, there's an inmate you can speak with by the name of Handsome Jacques, who will subsequently leave you to fight yourself when you're later attacked by other inmates.

7. Bandit/Scav

So I'm lumping Bandit and Scav together in the same spot, because they are exactly the same, just different names and weapon textures. So there's nothing exactly special about these weapons. While these are the direct counterpart to what was S&S Munitions, they do have some differences. These weapons have large ammo capacity, but suffer from long reload times, and exceptionally low stats all around.

Now based on that alone, these weapons sound like they suck, huh? Well.. yeah. They do. However, they're fun. They're chaotic, the legendaries special abilities can either turn the tide of battle if used correctly, or just make everything even more hectic, and I love it. From the crazy, grammatically incorrect names, to just the simple face that they're all made of spare parts, they're just fun, and because they suck, they offer challenge. That really make you fight for that win, and I adore them. Now will you find me using them very often? No, you won't. But I always keep a couple on me just in case I want to go buck wild and see what happens.

According to the games lore, Bandit and Scav weapons are what put S&S Munitions out of business, forcing thr company to change to S&S Accessories. Now one could assume, that since most bandits and scavs don't seem to have 2 braincells between the lot of them, that these weapons are being made by the ex DAHL workers left behind who turned to banditry to survive after being abandoned. This isn't confirmed or Canon in anyway, it's just a nice little assumption I like to have.

6. Atlas

So, Atlas didn't really become a good weapon brand until Borderlands 3. Why? Tracking bullets. That's also because aside from Borderlands 1 and 3.. Atlas weapons didn't exist. After Borderlands 1, Atlas fell into complete ruin, was bought out and dismantled by Handsome Jack, and revived by Rhys after the fall of Helios. Hence, why this brand didn't exist in BL2 and BL:PS.

Atlas weapons were decent in Borderlands 1, but I didn't often find myself using them. Come Borderlands 3, however, I adore them. Slapping down a tracker bullet and being able to fire with reckless abandon, knowing each of my shots will hit is always a wonderful feeling.

When it comes to their legendaries, the Rebel Yell is exceptionally handy is tracking a target, and depleting their shields like it's nothing. Now, I still don't ever really find myself using these weapons late game in Mayhem mode, but early game? These weapons were a god send, especially when I first made the transfer to PC, and had to relearn how to aim.

Not only all that, but these weapons have increased damage AND mag capacity, which just adds to their usefulness early game.

Now apparently, Professor Nakayama claims that he poisoned the original CEO of Atlas. Whether or not this was true is left to speculation, though if it was true, one could only assume it was done in an attempt to gain Handsome Jack's favor.. a lot of good that seemed to do.

5. Maliwan

Oh Maliwan.. how the mighty fall. I love Maliwan. I love elemental damage. I also love weapons with good accuracy. However what I don't love, is having to CHARGE MY WEAPONS in a FAST PACED GAME. Prior to Borderlands 3, Maliwan was a staple in my loadoutd, especially with my Maya builds, which all revolved around elemental damage and making the most of it. These weapons are a god send, even in Borderlands 1.

Then came Borderlands 3.. and they ruined it. Yes, these weapons can deal massive elemental damage, and I personally love using legendaries like the Quasar.. but the charge time. I despise the charge time. Especially when it comes to their sniper rifles. Sniper rifles should not have a charge time.

Now what I love about Maliwan, is they only produce elemental weapons, minus explosive. You will never find a plain weapon by them. Now unfortunately, there's only a few choice Maliwan weapons I'll ever use in Borderlands 3, but when it comes to Borderlands 2? I can't get enough of them.

Now weapons aren't the only thing that Maliwan produces apparently. If look closely at the beer bottles scattered across Pandora and Elpis, you'll find that some will have labels marked "Maliwan Black Label", a line of alcohol that the company seems to produce.

4. CoV

So CoV are the bandit weapons of Borderlands 3, with a major difference.. no reloads. All these weapons work essentially the same way Vladofs Infinity works, with own downside. Overhearing.

These weapons can overheat and break, causing you to have to cool it off and smack it back to working order. Now these weapons are great because if you play ot carefully, you can demolish groups of enemies in seconds with these weapons. You can also run out of ammo entirely without noticing. These weapons have plenty of pros and cons.

I love CoV weapons purely because I can just fire with near reckless abandon, and the damage on them is decent enough. They have essentially the same stats as Bandit made weapons, since.. they are. Just tweaked with engines and infinite firing power.

The vast upgrade in these Bandit weapons could be due to a few things. The CoV having access to a lot more, the merger with Maliwan, or maybe the bandits just got smarter. We'll never really know.

3. Tediore

Tediore how I love you. Sure, Tediore weapons have the potential to eat through your ammo if you aren't careful, but oh if it isn't fun. Throwing your weapon as a grenade that does increased damage the more ammo in the? Who wouldn't love that!

Tediore weapons gave fast reload speeds, being that they just digistruct back into your hands after you chuck them. Now, throwing guns as grenades is fun.. but what about turning it sentient?

Come Borderlands 3, these weapons dont just get thrown to explode, they get thrown and become temporary allies. They will float or run around, firing a few rounds.. THEN explode, and it's glorious. I adore Tediore weapons, purely because of how chaotic they can be, and how high damage they can be if you're willing to spare some ammo.

Now they didn't do any of this is Borderlands 1, and what made them special is that their legendary weapons would regenerate ammo, which was about the only special thing about them.

Because of they way their weapons are made, which is typically out of plastic and fiberglass, Tediores weapons are cheap and disposable. Due to this, Tediore is often looked at as the laughing stock of all the corporations, and often overlooked and ignored. At least until New Tales, when they showed just how much of a threat they could actually be. Not such a stupid company now, huh Katagawa?

2. Torgue

(I ran out of photo spots for one post.)

I just have one question for you. EXSPLOSIONS?! Not only is Torgue just an amazing brand, it's also the company with a CEO that has the most involvement with the player. From Torgues battle arenas in Borderlands 3, to his head hunter DLC and actual full length DLC in Borderlands 2, Torgue is just sort of always there.

Now Torgue, much like all weapons in Borderlands 1 compared to the other games, didn't have much going to for them other than high explosive damage. Yet come the later games, these weapons did a full 180 and became quickly my top three favorite brands to use.

High damage output, good fire rate, at the cost of accuracy and recoil. At the end of thr day though, it doesn't matter, because since the bullets are explosive, even if they miss and hit the ground by the target, they can still do damage. It's great for firing with reckless abandon. Like playing Junkrat in Overwatch. Shoot and pray.

Plus, who doesn't love Torgue? He's loud, he's eccentric, he's respectful.. what isn't there to love? Now, is Torgue still CEO of his own company? No, he's not. He sold it for $12 and a high five.. but he still owns it in my heart. We love him, and he loves all of us. That's what truly matters.

1. Jakobs

Ok. Hear me out. I know this probably isn't what you were expecting to placed at number one, but I have my reasons.

So Jakobs weapons have always had low magazines, reloads and fire rate, but their damage makes up for that. Jakobs weapons deal high damage and have great accuracy. On top of this, their "fire as fast as you can pull the trigger" trait is perfect for saving ammo. You can easily control just how many bullets you fire at once.

Then come Borderlands 3, these weapons got an even better trait. Ricochet bullets. For every critical hit you land will cause 1 or 2 bullets to ricochet to nearby enemies, making sniping even more dangerous.

One downside, is that Jakobs doesn't make any elemental weapons, save for about 5 unique/legendary exceptions.

But when it comes to my ideal, keep my distance and snipe playstyle with most of my characters, this brand is perfect for me. Stability to aim, ricocheting bullets, impressive damage.. it's the perfect brand.

Plus, the corporation is run by an absolute gift of a man, Wainwright Jakobs. Sure, the company was overrun for a bit, but what corporation hasn't been overrun and nearly destroyed at this point. Very few can say they haven't. In the world of Borderlands, Jakobs is considered the least aggressive and problematic company of them all, and it's held that appearance for 300 years, and continues to.

I know this post was a lengthy one, and if you read it all the way to the end, thank you! I know my rankings probably aren't even close to what popular professionals would rank them at, but while I try to take into account mechanics, I also take fun into account, and just my playstyle preferences.

So, as always, let me know your opinions. Tell me if you agree with my rankings, or what you'd change. I'd love to know what your favorite manufacturer is.

[handsome-jacks-bottom-bitch]

So the biggest thing about Borderlands is of course, the Vaults. Not only the vaults, but the monsters inside of them. So this post, I'm gonna rank the vault monsters from easiest to fight, to hardest to fight. I'm going to be gaging the difficulties based on the first playthrough, as depending on the game and the mode your playing, all of them can prove challenging. Now as always, this is purely my opinion. Some monsters I may say are hard, may be easy to others, or vice versa. So let's not waste any time and get right into it. This will include all vault monsters in Borderlands 3, not just the final battle. However I will be excluding vault monsters from Tales games, as those are fought both with QTEs.

1. Graveward

So let's start with the easiest one, which is the Graveward from Borderlands 3. The flora themed vault monster living inside the vault on Eden-6. I rank this one the easiest because it's attacks are all extremely avoidable, and if you move around correctly, you can go the entire fight without getting hit even once. The only things you really have to worry about are the grogs that spawn in. The fun thing about the Graveward, is that he's slow, and all his attacks come with beacons, or lit up danger zones. Stay out the zones, and you're set. The trickiest part of the fight is when he lifts the platform, and sends you sliding down. Simply slide into the hole on the right of the platform, wait for the green acid orbs to pass you by, and that's that. Throughout the fight, just aim for the Gravwards weak spot with a rapid firing weapon to quickly whittle down health until he's defeated. Even in higher mayhem difficulties, the Graveward poses very little threat, and is a pushover of a vault monster.

2. The Destroyer (BL1)

Now when I first started playing Borderlands back when the first game came out, I was a mere child and couldn't even make it far enough in the game to fight the Destroyer. When I finally did as a teenager, I would've said it was the hardest fight I've ever seen. Now as an adult, with a better understand of game mechanics (and better aim), the Destroyer is fairly easy on both playthroughs. Simply because you can essentially cheese the entire fight. On the map, there's two pillars. Simply hide behind the pillar and shoot the Destroyer until it's dead. You will have to worry about the flying rakks constantly spawning in, but luckily, they have extremely low health, and should thr Destroyer get a good hit on you, those rakks are a quick second wind.

Now the Destroyer is a bullet sponge, so the fight will take time if you dont have high power weapons, and you will have to get in close if you're a shotgun fanatic. Otherwise, simply hide throughout all his attacks, and the fight is as good as won.

3. The Warrior

Look out, the lava is rising! Liliths constant worry of the lava is arguably the most annoying thing about this fight. By the time you reach the Warrior, you're about level 36, have got a decent arsenal under your belt, and a raging hot need to avenge Bloodwing. The Warriors fight can be tricky, as in order to actually deal decent damage, you need to break the rock on its chest blocking it's soft inner molten core. Thing is, right after you break it, the Warrior retreats back into the lava, causing it to rise, as of Lilith didn't make that obvious enough.

The other thing you have to worry about it the Warriors tail slam, which if you don't jump to dodge it, deals decent damage, and sends you flying into the air. Another thing to look out for is the never ending crystalisks that spawn, and the occasionaly rakk that'll spot you.

Overall, the Warriors fight isn't so much difficult, as it is tedious. Eventually, you'll beat it down enough and crush it's head with the moonshot canon, much to Jack's dismay.

4. The Rampager

Oh the Rampager. My first encounter with you was a devastating one. Not because of your never ending fire waves, or the Eridians constantly up my ass, but because you're just too damn agile for a creature of your size.

The Rampager fight was tough the first time I fought it. He comes in three waves, all with different attacks and abilities that can quickly eat away at your shields and health, and while Maya is there.. she isn't much help. With the ever spawning Eridians constantly knocking you around, and the constant projectiles, the Rampager is a tough one. Especially come the third phase, where even standing still for a second could lead to an instant down.

The Rampager is tough, and agile, and good if you're looking for a quick death on your first playthrough. Kind of makes the Graveward that much more disappointing when the first vault monster you get to kill puts up such a good fight.

5. Tyreen/The Destroyer

Now, is Tyreen a vault monster? No. However, given as how she fuses with the monster of the Great Vault, she technically counts as one.

Now Tyreens fight is tricky. Not only can she leave the arena, most of her attacks prevent her from taking any damage at all. Her attacks are wide, and extremely powerful, not to mention the various creatures that spawn in and hassle you the entire fight. Tyreens attacks can be pretty easy to avoid, but the fact that she makes damaging her such a struggle is the reason she's so high on the list.

Her fight is annoying, and all around a pain to complete your first time fighting her. Once you get it down, much like with any of these monsters, it can quickly become a cake wake, but for have never fought her before? Royal pain, much like the god queen herself.

6. The Sentinel

I say this with the most emotion and sentiment I can portray over text: Screw. This. Fight.

Even today, as I'm writing this, the Sentinel has proven to be such a difficult fight, that any time I manage to defeat it on the first try, I consider myself a master of the trade. From the fact that this thing has 7 whole phases, to the fact that there's Eridians swarming the arena on top of him, it's just an all around nightmare.

The first version of the Sentinel has 4 phases. The first three require you to break down his shield, while avoiding his fast and devastating attacks. When his shield goes down, he becomes immune to all damage, and releases a nova, which if you don't avoid it, is capable of insta-downing you. Each phases comes with a different element that he becomes immune to, until the fourth phase, where you can finally hit his health. Defeat the fourth phase, and you think all is well, right? Wrong.

Once the Sentinel is defeated, he turns into a giant version of himself, called the Empyrean Sentinel. This version can make the entire floor untouchable with electricity, has full AOE attacks, and can only be damaged by hitting its face, so should you end up behind it trying to avoid attacks and swarms of Eridians, you gotta find your way back around. This version goes through 3 phases, all with different elements as well. This fight is just.. agonizing, no matter how well equipped you are. It's long, it's tedious, and if you die? Back to square one.. and to make it worse, the game made him a raid boss post story completion. Meaning you have to pay your hard earned moonstones just to torture yourself for a chance at better loot. Let me tell you, it's not worth it. There's better ways to get the legendary you're looking for, I promise. It's called the Grinder. I'd rather waste away at the Grinder than fight this bastard over and over in a Borderlands game that arguably has the WORST legendary drop chances. My sanity is better drained elsewhere. Like collecting 150 claptrap components for Tannis.

So, there you have it. My list of easiest to hardest to fight vault monsters on the first playthrough. Playthrough 2, TVHM/UVHM, Mayhem Mode, that all changes the game. Makes things difficult all around, but still doable if you build yourself right and bring the right gear. Let me know if you agree with my list, or if you disagree, I'd love to hear some feedback. Let me know your experiences with these badass monsters.. and if you know a way to cheese the Sentinel, maybe throw that my way too. I'm tired of him.

[handsome-jacks-bottom-bitch]

So, life's been hectic, but rest assured, I will still be coming to you all with blog posts, tips and tricks and guides now thay things have calmed down. So.. To ease back into this, let's talk about the Borderlands movie.

Now, I will preface this saying thay I am extremely biased in my opinions. I have been playing Borderlands since the very first game came out. I've played every game god knows how many times, and have dedicated too much of my time into the franchise. So before I begin, I want to state, that these are merely my opinions. If you loved the trailer and are excited for the movie, then awesome! I won't take that away from you. So that being said, let's get into it.

So the Borderlands movie trailer just dropped.. and theres.. well, there's a lot of issues. So let's talk the first big thing: the casting.

Now this is no disrespect to the actors themselves. I think all the actors in this movie are AMAZING actors, however, I don't think they're the right choices for the characters that they are playing. The first one I'm gonna talk about is Claptrap. Now I LOVE Jack Black. I've seen nearly all his movies, I love his band, and I think he's the perfect choice for comedic based movies and characters.. however the biggest thing about Claptrap isn't just the comedy, it's the *voice*. Claptrap doesn't *sound* like Claptrap.. he sounds like Jack Black. Similar to the Chris Pratt/Super Mario situation.. the voice wasn't the character, it was just the actor. That being said, I don't doubt that Jack Black can portray Claptrap in the best comedic manner that our favorite robot deserves, I just don't feel his voice fits the character. I feel with the budget they spent on actors, they could have simply hired Claptraps *actual* voice actor.

The next casting choice I want to talk about is Kevin Hart. I love Kevin Hart, but similar to Jack Black, Kevin Hart is a more comedic actor. He's a comedian. Roland, as we all know, is a stoic man, very close to the chest, hides his emotions. I don't think that's Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart is perfect for comedic rolls, for snarky, back talking characters. That just.. isn't Roland. Given the way the trailer has portrayed him thus far, it seems their taking a more comedic route with Roland, which just takes away the original allure of his character.

Now Jamie Lee Curtis.. one main issue I have, is that her portrayal make Tannis a lot older than she actually is. Tannis ranges from 20s-40s throughout the timeline of the game, and given that this movie is supposedly taking place before any vaults are open, that would put Tannis in her mid to late 20s. There's also the fact, that Tannis is canonically autistic, and has very little super expressive emotion, and tends to be very blunt and to the point. Now while I'm sure Jamie Lee Curtis can pull that off, i just.. don't think she was the right choice.

Finally, Cate Blanchett. Cate Blanchett is versatile. I love her, from her role in Thor Ragnarok, to LOTR and Oceans 8. Action is Cate Blanchetts thing.. but is she *Lilith*.. Possibly. I have no doubt Catr Blanchett could pull off an AMAZING Lilith, but this choice is going to depend solely on the writers and directors of the movie, and how they want her to play Lilith. This choice is iffy, but we'll see.

Now I can't say much on the other actors as I personally have not heard of any of them, so, there's not much I can say about it. What I can speak on, however, is the costume design.

Now if you have any presence on Twitter (or X), or anywhere where Borderlands is widely spoken about, you may have seen the biggest costume design complaint.. Kriegs mask. Keeping in mind the $100 million budget of the film, which is about the average for films, this costume design is atrocious.

Kriegs mask looks like a cheap piece of plastic given out for pre-order release of Borderlands 3. It looks like something any amateur cosplayer could have made with spare supplies they found in their closet. It's.. Bad..

Now, while Kriegs mask is *my* biggest pet peeve costume design wise, let's about other issues. Liliths hair. Normally, when you wear wigs in film, you try to make it not obvious that it's a wig. Well Liliths wig.. it doesn't look real. It is so clearly a wig, and it looks so unnatural on her. Now yes, Liliths hair has always had that unnatural natural swoop, however the could've simply went with her Borderlands 1 look, where she didn't have that swoop. The rest of her outfit is.. ok. It's not terrible, but it could've been better.

Now Tannis' outfit is.. well, it's an outfit. It doesn't scream "Tannis", but I can't say it's entirely.. bad. I can't quote explain what it is, but something about it just seems off.

The same goes for Tina's outfit. It's not terrible, but there's just something missing. Something that would make it scream "Tiny Tina". As for Roland, I have no complaints there. It's kind of hard to mess up an outfit such as Roland.

Ok, let's talk about the trailer itself now. It's a trailer alright. The first major thing that I noticed, is Liliths lack of tattoos. You know, the major thing about her, her siren abilities. Now, this isn't to say she *doesn't* have siren abilities, as we do see the sign of the firehawk at one point in the trailer.. however, the trailer doesn't showcase her abilities, and every view we get of her arm, we can see there's no tattoos. Seeing as how the movie descriptions online label her as an "infamous outlaw", instead of as a siren or "infamous siren outlaw", it's leading me to believe that she simply.. isn't a siren. Which is a major part of her character. Hell, Sirens are a major part of the overall Borderlands franchise.

So Liliths lack of Siren abilities aside, the trailer overall failed to me as a movie trailer. Trailers, be they for movies or games, to me, should be able to accomplish at the bare minimum two things. One, give the audience a decent overall understanding of what exactly the movie is going to be about.. and two, give you a introduction to the main characters. This trailer failed in both of those.

Over the course of the trailer, we see a lot of action, a lot of familiar faces, and plenty of Borderlands famous raunchy toilet humor. Yet the only thing we really get story wise, is what Lilith says at the beginning, about finding a vault. We get all sorts of characters thrown at our face, and a look at this new Atlas CEO(?) but.. that's about it. Now anyone who's ever played Borderlands knows that it's always about finding a Vault, so.. why can't they give us just a little bit more. From what I've gathered, this movie is about finding the first vault, or at least, the first vault the main group has been able to find.

Which leads me to my next point.. the characters. Now not only did the trailer seem to focus mainly on introducing Roland, Lilith and Claptrap, it seems to majorly ignore the fact that Tima, Krieg and Tannis are the main cast as well. Leading me to another point.. why exactly are Tiny Tina and Krieg in this film? Going off of original lore, which this movie clearly does not care about, it makes zero sense as to why Tina and Krieg would known Roland and Lilith by now. On top of this, where are Mordecai and Brick? They aren't in the trailer, and they aren't in the casting list. On top of this, if we *are* going to bring in Borderlands 2 vault hunters, why is it *only* Krieg? Yes, Krieg is a big fan favorite, but so are Zer0 and Maya, two characters which arguably had more of an effect on the stories than Krieg did.

Another thing that made the trailer just feel bad, was that it felt.. cheap. From the clearly lacking costumes, to the props that look like five minute craft DIY projects, it's clear that a majority of this films budget went towards its casting and CGI for creatures I feel we won't even see that much.

While I could go on for hours about everything my Borderlands perfectionist mind sees wrong with this trailer, I don't want this post to be too long. So, I'll leave it at this.. Will I be seeing this movie? Absolutely. However, I'll be going into it with the same expectations I went into other game based movies with, like Warcraft and Assassins Creed.. hell, even Slenderman. Expecting to be disappointed. That said, if you haven't seen the trailer yourself, I'll leave the link to it. Disagree with me? Awesome! I'd love to hear your take on it, get some new perspectives as to how you all feel about the movie. Again, this is all my opinion, and who knows? Maybe I'm being too harsh.. maybe this movie will end up being amazing! Only time will tell.

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Some more uhhhhh Borderlands OC shit. Cause I'm FEELIN IT.

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Another Borderlands OC, Jamison Torres. He's an ex Atlas rocketeer who joined up with the Crimson Raiders after the fall of General Knoxx, and also the husband of Alana.

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So I made a cell-shaded version and a regular version cause I'm extra like that. Anyways.

Alana Belrose

Ex Dahl military Staff Sergeant turned ex Hyperion engineer, now current Crimson Raider. I'm still filling out a Google doc of her entire backstory and details.

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Reworking a Borderlands OC of mine, Alana Belrose. Cause I can never settle on a design. But with my Borderlands hyperfixation back in swing, nows the time to do it.

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Alright let's talk secret bosses. Every games got em, and Borderlands is no exception. So, want to fight these elusive bosses? Then buckle up, cause I'm gonna tell you how to find them. I'll be separating each games bosses into their own seperate posts.

Let's start with Borderlands: The Pre Sequel. Pre Sequel has two secret bosses for you to find, both proving tricky to get. The first boss is Iwajira, a giant Kraggon located in Serenitys Waste. Iwajira is located in a hidden cave, located in the video I've included by Joltzdude139.

Iwajira spawns in at a minimum level of 30, and level 52 on TVHM, so I'd advise not going after him until you've beaten the main story, gotten some good loot, and are at or above his level. Iwajira has only three attacks, all of which can be devastating, on top of all the other little kraggons that can be spawned in.

Iwajira will attack in a pattern. The first attack being three giant corrosive rocks that explode shortly after landing. Did I mention he's corrosive? Don't bother bringing any corrosive weapons to this fight. He'll eat them up like skag on a stick. These rocks have a chance to spawn in smaller kraggons. Annoying, but easily taken care of, as long as you don't let too many spawn in.

The second attack is an extremely accurate corrosive laser beam that does devastating damage, and will eat through health and shields like nobodies business. It *is* avoidable, mind you, you I hope you've practiced your quick step.

Iwajira will swap back and forth between these attacks until you send him to the great vault in the sky. Oh, and be sure not to get too close to him, else his tail will send you flying.

The trouble of killing him is made worth it, however, as he has a chance to drop a skin for each class, a buttload of moonstones, the unique blue text weapon "Hail", and an increased chance at dropping the legendary rocket launcher, "Thingy".

So you killed Godzilla, did you? Sorry, Iwajira. Well, you remember Nel? The guy you called a dick? Think he hasn't been put in his place hard enough? Well, you're in luck, because you can stick that middle finger right back in his face.

That's right. Good ol' Nel is the second secret boss. Return to Regolith Range and make your way to Moon Zoomy Run to get started. To get Nel pissed enough to challenge a badass vault hunters like yourself, you're gonna have to call him a dick, and spell it out for him. Literally. Scattered on the rooftops are two signs you have to pick up. One marked "D" and one marked "K". You'll then slap them on the IC 57 building, and bam. Nels coming for ya. I've included a video by Ki11er Six on how to get these and trigger him.

Nel is a pretty straight forward fight, and he acts just like any other scav. Before you can fight him though, he'll call in for backup. Eliminate his friends to further piss him off, and he'll start shooting. Nel and his buddies spawn in at level 29, level 50 on TVHM, so make sure you're well and prepared before taking him on. He's pretty resistant to fire, so I wouldn't bother too much with that. His buddies, however, aren't. Nel has a good chance to drop the "Skullmasher" sniper rifle too, so if you're into poppin heads, it may be worth farming him for.

And there you have it. Now you've kicked the asses of two secret bosses, and have some new legendary gear to show it off with. Sure this information is only 9 years old, but hey. I feel like talking about it, and you possibly feel like reading it.

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I do art, if you're interested

Finished Handsome Bitch. I don't like doing backgrounds, so.. I didn't.

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Alright, let's talk about Easter in November, and by Easter, I mean easter eggs. The Borderlands franchise is chalk full of them, some obvious, some not. I'm gonna go over some of my personal favorites. Note, I'm not gonna go over EVERY easter egg, as that would take all day, so instead, I'll include the others in some future posts.

First easter egg I want to tell you about is in Borderlands 3. It's real easy to find, as it's a whole quest. Ever watch the best movie of all time, The Room, created by the best mind of anyone's generation, Tommy Wiseau? No? What are you doing with your life?

Well, regardless if your cultured or not, Tommy Wiseau makes a special appearance in his own quest "Buff Film Buff", located in Devils Razor. This quest becomes available once you've completed the main story quest "Blood Drive". The whole quest entails you helping Tommy Wiseau, or "Buff", get his film on the big screen for all to see, instead of the Calypso Twins propaganda videos.

Next easter egg is a smaller, more obscure one, but I still thoroughly enjoyed stumbling across it. In Borderlands 2, in the head hunter dlc "T.K. Bahas Bloody Harvest", you can come across a fun egg to classic horror films "The Blair Witch Project", "The Ring" and "Poltergeist". Scattered about the map are three televisions to find, and upon approaching them, little scenes will pop up referencing the films. They can be found in hidden, off the map areas.

You ever watch a movie and at the end, you sort of just sit there and think "what the hell did any of that mean?" Well, that was me watching Stanley Kubricks "2001: A Space Odyssey". So, imagine my confusion when I stumbled upon the all infamous monolith in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. If you head to Stantons Liver, search out the cave to the east of the map. It'll be chalk full of torks, so you'll know it when you see it. There will be a little opening towards the back of the cave. Hop in and follow the path, until you find it. The monolith. There will be some enemies in the area, so take them out, and then touch the monolith. You'll touch it about three times, each time taking you to a little area referencing different scenes from the film. At the end, you'll be greeted with a weapons chest, and that all too weird baby in space.

This particular easter egg is probably one the most known ones, but it's also one of my favorites. It first showed up in Borderlands 1, and even made a comeback in Borderlands 2, offering a little challenge if you go find it. I'm of course, talking about the hidden Claptrap of Fyrestone. In the town of Fyrestone, you can climb up onto a little fence when you first enter. Make it up to see onto the cliff, and you can find a green Claptrap unit waving and greeting you. Fast forward to Borderlands 2. Return to Fyrestone and follow the same path, however this time, you can approach the unit. Unfortunately, due to Jack destroying the product line, the Claptrap unit is now dead. However approaching it will reward you the challenge "Hey! Over here!" for 5 badass points. There's also a red chest waiting for you!

Those are just some of my favorites, but I don't want to make this post *too* long, as I could write all day. I'll make posts about other easter eggs in the future. In the meantime, I'm working on a thesis of sorts as to why Handsome Jack isn't as terrible as he may seem, and also a detailed telling of his entire backstory, working through all the plot inconsistencies that have shown up throughout the games.

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You like Borderlands, right? How about Lord of the Rings? What about Lord of the Rings IN Borderlands? Well, you're in luck, because Borderlands 2 has got you covered.

Welcome to my Borderlands Tumblr blog in 2023. If you're as obsessed with the franchise as I am, then this is the place for you. My first post? Secret Lord of the Rings quest.

If you want the Rakks to fly you Ithillien, I've got some bad news for you. However, they CAN bring you some sick loot. This secret quest is only available once you unlock TVHM, and you gotta get a bit into the game to be able to complete it.

The gist of the quest is this: take the golden gear to the top of Mount Hellsfont. Simple, right? No. Much like Frodo, you have to make the trip on foot.

To start this quest, you need to go to Claptraps place in Windshear Waste, the starting zone of the game. Head inside, and go to the fireplace, where you'll find a golden gear. Once you pick it up, the fun begins.

To do the quest, you'll have to walk this gear all the way from Windshear Waste, all the way to the Eridium Blight. Sounds tiring, doesn't it? Fast traveling, hopping into a car, quitting the game, or simply *dying* will fail the quest, and you'll have to start over.

You'll want to take the following path: Windshear Waste -> Southern Shelf -> Three Horns - Divide -> Three Horns - Valley -> The Dust -> Eridum Blight.

Once you've hit the Eridium Blight, head to the top of Mount Hellsfont towards the top of the map. Traverse the volcano until you find Geary. Under normal circumstances, Geary will become hostile and attack relentlessly. However, if you still have the golden gear, he will only attack you once. He'll snatch the gear, and throw himself into the lava. Once he does, three Rakks will appear, and grant you three chests, one of which will ALWAYS contain purple or e-tech loot.

Make sure you don't kill Gollum- Sorry, *Geary* yourself, or else the quest fails, and the Rakks will never arrive.

If your a compeltionist like myself, be sure to return later to kill Geary yourself, as he will have a chance to drop 1 of 6 head customizations for your Vault Hunter.

And there you have it. You have successfully saved Pandora from the wrath of Sauron, and scored yourself some sick ass loot.