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i must be the worst friend alive. after a year of heartbreak and shitty jobs and living with her parents, she finally has the dream job and the success and the apartment and even the boy.

and i resent her for it.

when if the tables were turned, she would be happy for me and i can’t even respond to her excited texts about the boy.

the boy that is a good one, a one in a million and she’s probably going to get him. i spent years being in love with a one in a million, but it was one sided with stolen glances. how does she get to have it? to have him?

my traitorous thoughts will ask in the darkest corners of my mind, “what is so great about her?”

and what is so wrong with me?

she had the heartbreak and the shitty job and had to live with her parents for a year. but i’ve lived with my own broken heart for years, self inflicted with wounds restitched, i’ve had years of shitty jobs that don’t pay enough to keep any hope alive while hers was on salary, and i will most likely be living with my parents for years to come.

while i despise the game of who has it worse, why do i love to win? why do i crave the validation of knowing that my life is worse than hers. why do i hate when shes been through hardships, not because she suffered but because i need her life to be perfect so its easier to be resentful.

she is my best friend and i am her worst.

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I can't be cyring alone. So here.

sorce: @yelena.pdf on tiktok

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It’s crying about Twelve hours again. Twelve and Clara are just ouch. Twelve playing Clara’s song for her without even knowing. “You can’t see me can you? You look at me but you can’t see me. Do you have any idea what that’s like” said with so much desperation it hurts. Clara finally knowing what that’s like, “if I saw met her again I’d absolutely know” but that sadly wasn’t true.

“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become songs”

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clara oswald you will always be special

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hey not to act cwayzee but also i’m building a recent hyperfixation playlist and this is an

AMY POND SONG. HEAR ME OUT

^self explanatory

^statue’s crying huh? saddest book you’ve ever read?

^ “my responsibility has found a place” “strong warnings in the guise of gentle words” “family wider net absurd” (previous companions)

“you’ll take care of her i know it you will do a better job, maybe, but not what she deserves” addressed to rory…

^ “my heroine pretend” that’s so fairytale girl, etc . “settle for an epitaph, walk away” “meet you at the statue in an hour”

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“to the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.”

-a court of mist and fury <3

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once again here to say that the eleventh doctor is my roman empire, he is everything to me and yes that sounds dramatic but matt smith’s doctor is magnificent. he is emotional, he is kind, he is vulnerable, he is brave, he cares about everyone, no matter who they are.

“in 900 years of time and space, i’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”

“the way i see it, life is a pile of good things and bad things. the good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

“we all change when you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good you gotta keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be”

he is my doctor <3

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there’s something sad about unrequited love. you get your heart broken but there’s no one to blame, no one to hate, because it’s nobodies fault.

you WANT to hate somebody for it. sometimes you want to hate that person for not loving you back. but ultimately i think we end up hating ourselves for it, for breaking our own hearts.

and if that isn’t the worst, imagine the ache in your soul when that person starts falling for someone else. someone prettier, someone smarter, someone seemingly perfect.

seeing them look at that person the way you look at them, with longing and fondness.

at least now there’s someone easy to hate.

but the way you start comparing yourself to them, and wondering what do they have that i don’t?

why am i not good enough?

then you ask yourself how did a simple high school crush turn into years of heartbreak?

and you can’t even blame them for it, because it’s not their fault.

but most days, it feels like it’s yours.

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someone pls tell me that amy and rory grew old and had a beautiful life together. or did they both go back to that apartment in manhattan and lived there until they died? pls be the first one 🤞

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my favorite genre of doctor who is eleven being the fun uncle to every child he meets

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my roman empire is season 5 of doctor who. vincent van gogh. the star whale. amy and rory. river song. the centurion. 2000 years. the christmas special. the fish. amelia pond. matt smith.

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How to Start a Blog: A Satire

Hi, over the past week and a half I’ve been on a blog kick, or rather a “I want to start a blog because I have no creative outlet” kick. What I learned is that designing a blog, or any website for that matter, is incredibly difficult and very frustrating. So, I have taken it upon myself to make a how to guide on creating a blog. It’ll be fun, c'mon let’s go!

Step 1: Realize you want to start a blog even though you’ve never shown that much interest in writing because all you’ve ever written were school essays, but you convince yourself you did good on those essays, hence why you should start a blog. (extra points if you realize this on your way home from the beach)

Step 2: Decide on a blog platform! There are numerous websites where you can house your blog, the trick is picking one. Wix is good, if you want your blog header to look deformed on mobile even though it looks *perfect* on desktop. Another popular site is WordPress, unless you have a degree in designing websites, you’re basically screwed. Or maybe I just wasn’t blessed with the website design genes in my family. Thanks mom. Weebly is that one you had to make a power point on in your 7th grade English class and since then it’s just left a bad taste in your mouth. There’s several others but I think whoever coded them watched The Social Network one time and decided they wanted to be the new Mark Zuckerberg. Anyways, step 3 anybody?

Step 3: Time to pick a theme *insert random aesthetic emojis here because my HP laptop has the worst emojis I have EVER seen* Depending on what you want to focus your blog on will be the deciding factor on your theme. Are you a gamer? Choose a color palette that has lots of purples, blues, and neon colors. But are you narrowing it down to a certain video game? Use the games colors in your blog. A beauty blog you say? Pink, white, and lots of light colors, possibly some pastels if you’re feeling spontaneous. 

Step 4: The time has come to decide between designing your blog from scratch OR picking a premade template that looks awesome but when you try to edit it to match your theme it looks worse than if you had started from scratch. 

Step 5: Put all the decisions you made to work! Now absolutely forget about everything except your theme because all you will focus on for days is making the header look like God hand crafted it himself. You will fail many times but that’s okay, just get back up on the horse and convince yourself to come back to it later. Work on the layout, how is the home page going to look? What pictures do you want to use? Do you need to go find aesthetic stuff of Pinterest to make your blog look better because the only pictures good enough to be online are your graduation pictures and the pictures of your dog that your mom sends you to combat your anxiety, I mean pet pictures are cute yes put them on the blog, in fact make it a blog ABOUT your pet. I guarantee more people will read it if you do that. Can we go to step 6 now please?

Step 6: This step is personally my least favorite and takes the longest. You will bounce between steps 2, 3, 4, and 5 because you aren’t satisfied with anything you have created so far :)

Step 7: Complain about it to your friend in which she asks you, “Is it worth it?” and you respond with the truth that its probably not worth it but you need a creative outlet and have convinced yourself that you aren’t good at anything else.

Step 8: You’re tired aren’t you? That’s okay, let’s take a break. How was your day? Did you do anything fun? Oh you didn’t leave your house because you’ve been trying to make a blog all day. Yeah that happens, but that’s why we’re taking a break now! Go drink some water, eat a sandwich, don’t get on social media though, you’ll never come back to read the rest of my how to guide.

Step 9: You have finally handcrafted something that kind of looks like a blog, this is the part where you realize you set your design expectations too high and you’re actually really liking the simple, minimalistic vibe that you’ve somehow created. Now step 9 is making your domain name, which is the URL people will go to when they want to visit your blog. Coming up with a domain name is like making a new password. Everything you think of has already been used. The issue is you can’t make Ilovetaylorswift123! your domain name... (for clarification that is not my real password, I made that up in like three seconds.) This step is a two parter because I’m feeling chaotic today. As you are getting frustrated about not being able to come up with a good domain name, you realize that the blog platform you used that said you’d get a free domain name, is only half true because somehow, someway, you will be paying for this gosh darn blog- both with money and your sanity.

Step 10: Congratulations, you’ve made it, here’s your trophy in the form of what was supposed to be my first blog post but after claiming that I will in fact not be paying their absurd prices, I came to my early high school second home- Tumblr. One blog platform I didn’t mention in step 2 was Tumblr and there’s a reason for that. It’s not necessarily a traditional platform for a blog and readers have to have an account with Tumblr so when you share the link to your friends, a cute little box pops up that says “Ah, now. You need clearance for that.” and asks them to make an account. Which makes sense because Tumblr IS a social media platform so no hate to them for that. 

In conclusion, (because like I said, I have convinced myself I was very good at school essays) making a blog is hard and not for the faint of heart. You’ll need a solid plan, knowledge on how to use the blog platform you’ve chosen, and money for the domain name. But if you’re like me and don’t have any of those, that’s okay! Because there will always be somewhere for you to share your writings, your passions, and your truths.

Have a good day, friends <3