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Today, we left the Invisibility Cloak outside of the Whomping Willow. Then Snape found it. FML.
--Harry Potter
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Today, Voldemort told me I have to kill Dumbledore. FML.
--Draco Malfoy
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Today, my toffee-flavored Bertie Bott's bean was actually earwax. FML.
--Dumbledore
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Today, Harry did magic at me. FML.
--Dudley Dursley
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Today, that time Fred and I crossed the line for the Goblet of Fire is the only time we'll be old together. FML.
--George Weasley
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Today, Uncle Vernon thought my plan to save him from Voldemort was a ploy so I could get their house. FML.
--Harry Potter
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Today, I changed the time and place of Harry Potter's hearing at the last minute. Dumbledore came anyway. FML.
--Cornelius Fudge
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Today, Harry Potter survived the Chamber of Secrets. Now I have no one to share my toilet with. FML.
--Moaning Myrtle
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Today, Fred and George followed me around all day shouting at people to make way for the heir of Slytherin and that an evil wizard was coming through. FML.
--Harry Potter
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Today, Lily said she would rather date the giant squid than me. FML.
--James Potter
Credit to abitofalunatic!
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Today, I was insulted by a piece of parchment. FML.
--Professor Snape
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Today, we tried to shut Percy in a pyramid. Mum caught us. FML.
--Fred and George
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Today, the Prisoner of Azkaban movie still does not explain the Marauder's Map subplot. FML.
--Harry Potter fans
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Today, Voldemort hugged me. In front of everyone. FML.
--Draco Malfoy
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Today, I found out that I've actually been taking secret potions advice from Snape. FML.
--Harry Potter
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Today, the annoying know-it-all on the train was put in the same House as me. FML.
--Ron Weasley
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Today, I was resurrected. My nose wasn't. FML.
--Voldemort
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