headcanons

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hi guys, idk how many of the old moots still remember us, but @dontbotheraziraphale and I are running a tiny little gofundme and it would mean the world if you'd take a second to go check it out and share it <3

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spiderman helping out the owner of a local art store and them giving him a spiderman discount so now miles only goes in there if hes in his suit

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Ginny Weasley & Tom Riddle

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au where everything is the same except sirius black is played by jonathan van ness from queer eye

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How long have you had the URL Headcanons, you must have gotten to tumblr before the rest of us!

I've had this blog for years now but honestly when I got it it was already super weird that it was still available!

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Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

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I’m not sure what’s funnier. The fact that in HBP Harry’s thought process goes “Hmm. Draco’s ignoring me. He must be a Death Eater now. Nothing less than a secret deadly mission from Voldemort himself could be more important than our rivalry.”

Or the fact that he’s completely right.

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Remember that time when Parvati turned her boggart into something even more terrifying?

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Jefferson figuring out that his son is Spider-Man but instead of telling him “hey you blew your secret” and possibly freaking him out, starts quietly training him in correct police procedure (without him knowing) while also repeatedly talking about how he had issues with the old Spider-Man but the new one seems like a brave and responsible young man and how he would be totally proud of him if he were this guy’s parents

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sirius black wore black nail polish and remus helped him paint his nails pass it on

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the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

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ATTENTION fake Harry Potter fans, the following works are NOT part of the Harry Potter canon: Harry Potter 1-7, Fantastic Beasts, The Cursed Child

The following works ARE part of the Harry Potter canon: A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, A Very Potter Senior Year, Potter Puppet Pals

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if the harry potter movies were remade today there’d be an extended, pointless scene with james corden as the fat friar, and i hate that

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how very ironic of the half-blood prince movie to include ginny in the scene where harry and hermione are bickering over his potions book only to completely disregard why she was included in that scene in the book. like … what a testament to the fact that no one involved in the making of these movies understands her character at all

ginny doesn’t insert herself in that conversation because she goddamn feels like it, it’s very specifically the fact that harry is taking advice written in a book of unknown origin by someone he doesn’t know, can’t see, and has no reason to trust, and the similarity that bears to riddle’s diary, that makes her speak up.

ginny is understandably suspicious of the half-blood prince’s book, she’s not merely curious about his identity

not to mention the fact that this isn’t the first time she’s had to actively remind harry of what the diary did to her (���i forgot” - “lucky you”): the book counterpart of this scene isn’t ~quirky~ and ~playful~, she’s rightfully irritated, shocked, angry, that harry would so willingly trust the book like he doesn’t know better. because ginny, if anyone, knows better.

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Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic. 

Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry. 

It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic. 

Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS. 

Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized. 

Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?” 

And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.” 

“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.” 

And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.” 

“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?” 

So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever. 

(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!” 

Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.” 

Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)

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snapchat, insta, and quidditch=games that gryffindor just can’t lose. 

amazing illos & hilarz captions created exclusively for SparkNotes by the awesome @sasmilledge

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The fact that Snape is one of the youngest if not THE youngest professor is fucking hilarious.