healsypally

[healsypally]

Incidentally if you haven't been called your name in a while and are feeling sad just remind people that you are a transgender woman and use she/her pronouns and suddenly every conversation about you will go "[name] kinda looks like [name] wants to go back to [name]'s house." follow me for more awesome hot tricks!

[healsypally]

And none of these people are willing to do more than record it on their cell phones. It's your duty to unarrest someone if you see them getting arrested. Be fucking brave, please.

[healsypally]

This Will Just Go Over Your Head!

[healsypally]

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't the entire fucking point of using TMA/TME was because it is wholly possible that intersex people or even some trans masc people (or even butch cis women) could possibly be rendered TMA by oppressors even if they had been c/afab?

In general, yes, a trans man or nonbinary trans masc could assert and make people understand that they aren't a trans woman, and that alone would render them TME and grant them access to queer resources, spaces, and HOUSING that most trans women do not have (such as queer and feminist afab-only resources, spaces, and housing). But sometimes, this isn't possible, especially with more passing trans men who are gender nonconforming and no one will hear him out that he actually had been afab; and therefore some people who are not trans women or otherwise transfem nonbinary could be considered TMA.

[healsypally]

so wild to realize while going on to 30 that i was always butch even as a "little boy" i was so confused cause in my mind i was ACEING the whole "masculinity thing"

i was that weird boy who went to primary school in a suit and tie with a fucking suitcase cause my dad went to work that way sometimes and to me that was the PINNACLE of masculinity

i was that kid who kept his hair long cause medieval knights did and i swore i wasn't just scared of the village hairdresser

i was obsessed with courtly love, i was obsessed with codes of honor, i was obsessed with being a man in the "proper" way

the way my father taught me, to make sure everyone was okay, to hold open doors, to make sure i don't hurt or scare people, be kind, polite and gentle, to offer my seat on public transport

and from the first day of kindergarten they called me a faggot, they said i was acting like a girl, they said i WAS a girl, they told me i wasn't meant to use the boys restroom and they spit at me

it took me 28 years to realize i was acting like a tomboy and got bullied badly for acting like a little girl that acted like a boy, not like a REAL boy

it took me 28 years, estradiol, transitioning, throwing out all of my masculine clothes and buying them again, just different this time

it took me so much blood and tears and sweat and ink, so many anxious moments to realize that i'm that butch and i have always been

i hold open the doors, i make sure that everyone is alright, i'm polite despite my punk exterior, i'm kind and i'm aware that sometimes my rugged exterior can make people afraid, i love myself and i love all the other butches like me

it took me 28 years to realize i have always been this way, they tried to raise a man and i grew up to be the butch i'll always be

[healsypally]

You are NOT fighting against transmisogyny by gatekeeping the Lesbian identity from the very few TME trans /nonbinary people who genuinely identify with it.

You are NOT helping trans women (nor are you helping any TMA nonbinary person) by treating someone else's identity as a zero-sum game.

Yes, transmisogyny is a pervasive, structural issue inside the mass majority of supposedly “safe” queer and feminist spaces.

But that problem WILL NOT be fixed in any way, shape, or form by throwing other marginalized groups under the bus!!

[healsypally]

I swear, heaping shredded lettuce onto a burger just makes it twice as delicious somehow

[healsypally]

Please stop sigmatizing small phalluses.

We see it in almost every queer space we go, and it is humiliating, degrading, and saddening that our own community can be so intersexist, altersexist, and transphobic, without even seeming to realize it.

We know that "small dick - big dick" is a joke, a meme, but frankly, its just not funny. Phallus size has been stigmatized and mocked so much that its caused countless people gender dysphoria, sex dysphoria, body dysmorphia, depression, anxiety, and stigma. This stigma leads to a lot of people with small phalluses having a more difficult time getting into relationships, because people are judgmental of their bodies. Small phalluses don't make a person bad in bed, nor is it something to be ashamed of.

Not only that, but it is rooted in intersexism. Micropenises are an intersex trait, and yet it is belittled, laughed at, and treated like some joke. People's bodies are not jokes.

Mockery of small phalluses, even if done with good intent or in "good fun", stigmatizes and humiliates real intersex people - people with congenital buried penises, clitoromegaly, fused labia & clitoromegaly, and similarly structured genitals. Please read (and reblog) about intersex variations & traits here, for a better understanding and compassion for their community - a community that very frequently overlaps with the trans community, and is a part of the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole.

It also stigmatizes altersex, transsex, transmasc, and non-binary people. This includes those that desire/have metoidioplasties and that desire/have T-dicks or enlarged clitorises. It also includes those that have penises/phalluses, and take estrogen (or intersex people who produce high estrogen) that causes phallus shrinking. It makes many people feel sad and ashamed of their genitals, as if there is something wrong with them.

We mean no hate to anyone that has made these jokes in the past. This post is simply a plea to expand your mindset, and think of the psychological and social damage those jokes do to real people.

Please reblog to spread awareness.

[healsypally]

CW: transmisogyny and transphobia

Transmisogynyst says the quiet part out loud, and most TME people will just turn away and pretend it didn’t happen.

Again: the primary reason people are against the term “pregnant people” is because they believe the charge has begun with trans women centering ourselves.

People who do not absolutely clarify that “pregnant people” is not including MTF people, is not about trans women, and has nothing to do with letting TMA people call ourselves pregnant, only allows transmisogynstic terfs to seep into queer and feminist spaces;

And then what do you think happens when all of us trans women (and other TMA people) are dead and gone?

Youll be next.

But transmisogyny is too delicious in the now.

Bigoted cowards.

[healsypally]

Remember that everything that was done to cis gay men during the holocaust also was done to trans women. They did not differentiate between these two groups when doling out genocide.

[healsypally]

(Side note 1: If a queer ORGANIZATION is excluding trans women from a lesbian's or women's space WHILE allowing trans mascs to enter, then everyone should focus their energy on protesting the ORGANIZATION, not any individual trans masc.)

(Side note 2: trans mascs should actively notice if a queer ORGANIZATION's policies exclude trans women from women's and lesbian spaces that they're permitted into (such as "afab-only" segregation being posted on women's and lesbian spaces), and should actively protest against the existence of the transmisogynystic exclusionary segregation.)

what bigotry does the australian woman who designed the most popular lesbian flag engage in? i wasn’t aware she’d done anything sketchy

Emily Gwen, the creator of the Sunset lesbian flag, said some pretty biphobic and aphobic stuff on twitter about lesbians.

-

(Showing the following tweet to explain that I disagree with it)

(Showing the above tweet to explain that I disagree with it)

-

(the tweet she was replying to had been removed)

I found this other pic on google images that does a good summary

The split attraction model is real, Bi lesbians are lesbians, Pan lesbians are lesbians, M-spec lesbians are lesbians, asexual and aromantic people can be lesbians, and a small amount of trans men profess a genuine connection to the lesbian identity; and thus those trans men are lesbians too.

Excluding anyone who is genuinely resonating with the lesbian identity is always exclusionary and bad. Other people's identities ARE NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME.

[healsypally]

what bigotry does the australian woman who designed the most popular lesbian flag engage in? i wasn’t aware she’d done anything sketchy

Emily Gwen, the creator of the Sunset lesbian flag, said some pretty biphobic and aphobic stuff on twitter about lesbians.

-

(Showing the following tweet to explain that I disagree with it)

(Showing the above tweet to explain that I disagree with it)

-

(the tweet she was replying to had been removed)

I found this other pic on google images that does a good summary

The split attraction model is real, Bi lesbians are lesbians, Pan lesbians are lesbians, M-spec lesbians are lesbians, asexual and aromantic people can be lesbians, and a small amount of trans men profess a genuine connection to the lesbian identity; and thus those trans men are lesbians too.

Excluding anyone who is genuinely resonating with the lesbian identity is always exclusionary and bad. Other people's identities ARE NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME.

[healsypally]

Gotta love how there’s not a single lesbian pride flag made by someone who isnt like an incredible racist or aphobe or biphobe or some other fuckin bigot

[healsypally]

Twirling to FIRST PLACE with MANY Bob-ombs!

[healsypally]

Transmisogyny is a vertical oppressive axis. Block me if you disagree.

People who are not affected negatively by transmisogyny benefit directly from transmisogyny.

"AFAB-only" resources, spaces, and housing is allowed in 99% of all supposedly "safe" queer and feminist spaces, instead of being banned like all segregation should.

ANY reason given for allowing "AFAB-only" resources, spaces, and housing in queer and feminist spaces is the EXACT language used by cis people against transgender people as a whole. NO exceptions.

But, and here's the kicker: TME trans people benefit materially from "AFAB-only" segregation to such a degree that too many cowardly allow these bigoted policies; even though they will inherently and inevitably attract enough TERFs that it will become their problem in the end. This is because the policies are currently only transmisogynystic, and not exclusionarily transphobic to anyone but TMA people; and therefore it benefits them enough to stay silent on the matter.

Allowing "AFAB-only" resources, spaces, and housing is a ticking timebomb liability that most TME queer people shrug off as a non-issue -- because when push comes to shove, trans women are always the ones thrown under the bus as if we are the original aggressors (and not goddamn actual TERFS you directly invited into our shared "safe" space with open arms.)

If you are misgendered while being allowed access to materially life-saving resources, spaces, and housing, you are definitionally less negatively affected than the people who are ALSO misgendered while ALSO violently expelled from those spaces to die on the goddamn street.

[healsypally]

Reminder for everyone.

In case there is any confusion on whether or not I think "talking about how transphobia affects transmascs differently is transmisogynistic"

The only way I will consider "transandrophobia" (read: transmisandry) an actual issue is if we can agree it is AT MOST a horizontal issue and NOT a vertical oppression like transmisogyny 100% is,

And that you aren't just making up bullshit to pretend that trans men are treated equally as bad as trans women inside queer spaces.

And that you aren't just trying to hand-wave transmisogyny.

And that you aren't confusing NOT BEING AFFECTED BY TRANSMISOGYNY as some sort of "invisibility" even though I bet the local queer space near you has MORE TRANS MASCS THAN TRANS FEMS IN ITS LEADERSHIP. Tell me I'm wrong!

Transandrophobia IS NOT a mirror to transmisogyny, and trans women DO NOT oppress trans men the same way trans men do have the ability to oppress trans women.

Therefore it should not ever be brought up to derail discussions of transmisogyny (Just like cis men should not bring up the fake "misandry" bullshit within discussions of misogyny)

[healsypally]

The only way I will consider "transandrophobia" (read: transmisandry) an actual issue is if we can agree it is AT MOST a horizontal issue and NOT a vertical oppression like transmisogyny 100% is,

And that you aren't just making up bullshit to pretend that trans men are treated equally as bad as trans women inside queer spaces.

And that you aren't just trying to hand-wave transmisogyny.

And that you aren't confusing NOT BEING AFFECTED BY TRANSMISOGYNY as some sort of "invisibility" even though I bet the local queer space near you has MORE TRANS MASCS THAN TRANS FEMS IN ITS LEADERSHIP. Tell me I'm wrong!

Transandrophobia IS NOT a mirror to transmisogyny, and trans women DO NOT oppress trans men the same way trans men do have the ability to oppress trans women.

Therefore it should not ever be brought up to derail discussions of transmisogyny (Just like cis men should not bring up the fake "misandry" bullshit within discussions of misogyny)