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[heartseventysixbooks]

GRIEF IS A RUT

Life ended for you, but your image is alive in my head. I miss you constantly, this is less with the passing of the months. A year has passed without you, I had to stop typing in mid-sentence, tears were welling up in my tired blue eyes.

We lost another friend, Norah, and at her wake was the family dealing with the loss, unexpected and sad, I spoke to people who would offer solace and comfort if only you could be with me.

I am in a rut, a hole, a pit of grief, a selfish state of obsession with losing my hero. My early death you prevented, as much as the surgeons had.

I only had two and a half years to make you comfortable. I need to be accepting of death down the road and never forget your face.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Your Sunday, Pat

I need to tell you about your family and friends, your sister and her dear husband wlith our children made a nice day much better.

Your ashes were spread over the ground a Macintosh apple tree was planted with Matt and Ernie's close attention to the details. It was wonderful.

It has been seven months, I think of you everyday, I see you in my dreams. I love you and there will be no other, I can not express in words why I have survived and you are gone, so I will stay in your house and turn a corner and see signs of your hand.

All your friends, children, relatives are kind and beyond my ability to express how grateful for being so thoughtful. We would be mailing out thank you cards, written in you perfect cursive handwriting.

Love you always.

[heartseventysixbooks]

A Word About A Widower

I have found it stressful to fill out forms and check that box.

I think of my wife my love, all things remind me of you, you saved my life twice, I couldn't keep you once. Mary Alice cried hearing me speak of your passing, she said" I was expected not her". To have you suffer and know the holiday season you loved so much was your last.

As you planned we had a, huge Thanksgiving turkey Family celebration with great side dishes, all the recipes from fifty years

We had Christmas, just as you planned, and we had my birthday. I loved it and, you held on. You held on till the "kids" could all make it home for your "Goodbye". You went so quickly, I couldn't save you, I think your plan was traumatic, and your wish to be home happened while we selfishly cried, missing you from our lives. My box to check is reluctantly Widower. I still feel your voice in my soul, you are still worried about me, I hear you loudly.

Love, Ron

[heartseventysixbooks]

Missing You,

Missing You, Always.

I don't know if I will ever not miss the sound of your voice, I came downstairs and expected and wanted to hear you.  The house was empty, except for the dogs, laying on the couch napping.  I was brought to tears later that evening, I was listening to Youtube music, a favorite I'm sure you would have remembered.  My time in Japan had given me an appreciation of most entertainers of Asia, singing in English in front of a full orchestra, it was my saved song "And I love you so" by Don Mclean, he released it in 1970 the year we were married. the song was done by Kayuma Youzo.  By the verse, "I know how lonely life can be. The shadows follow me and the night won't set me free".   He sings "The book of life is brief. But I don't let the evening get me down, Now that your around me".  I was taken by tears listening and writing the essay, "And I love you so."  We try to make the home as you would have wanted it, but without you it is hard and I miss you always.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Missing her, by the Calendar.

I truly miss my wife every day, not every minute, or hour, so I have accepted as the days go by her death. I have not lost my thoughts, I haven't lost my habit of including her death as a part of the conversations I have with family, friends, co-workers and, some government workers seemingly honestly concerned for my loss.

The days have dragged on, or they flew by without realizing it. My twenty anniversary of my heart transplant was always celebrated with cake by Pat as my new birthday was not carried on forward. It was only weeks after her demise though. Our fifty-third wedding anniversary six weeks later was missed and her birthday add another month, it is her seventy-fourth not celebrated in the usual way with cake and gifts and love. None of these dates are forgotten now, my blog, keeping to the home keys, and typing my feelings has helped.

Days are numbers on a calendar, they become special days by loved ones, after four months and mindless thoughts and mindless TV, I feel less guilty and more concerned about my family, my friends, and my veteran's post and my activity with them. I am happy to hear by text or phone my family's very real concern about my physical and mental health. My granddaughter was just checking a minute ago, so time to end and begin another soon.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Release, by blogging.

My impression of the platform is it can be anything that can be typed in the format, some of it is teachable skills like shouting, whispering, or a normal volume all written in English or at least close to it.

My blog has helped me to overcome my early disabling grief from losing my wife of over fifty years, typing my thoughts, and organizing thinking into a readable blog of self-therapy. The time spent is important because I use the words I think about what I type because each blog and each train of thought helps me cope, even if I may be sharing sales tips in my earlier blog post or random memories.

Writing sales reports were critiqued severely and used as what not to put in a report. This reporting was a weekly assignment and an important part of my job, needing to shuffle notes of customer calls into coherent and task-completing recognition and also, piers competing for the best of course for the company and the employees by being successful.

So this skill is like push-ups with your boss on your back the more you do the better you get at it, to say a misspelled word or a bad phrase or bad punctuation is all unacceptable and will be crushing

Old fashioned maybe, but my thoughts always come back to losing my lovely wife the heaviest weight I can carry, there are times it is a physical malady, not my back, my tailbone has healed, though my knees and feet make me look and feel a decade older than I am. The secret is helping people and writing in this blog. Thats all.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Needing a Break

I have been grieving for a while, so this is my expression of a break from that. This is a story related to my past, it is set in the fifties in my hometown. The year, the summer, and the fall began my freshman year of high school. Conversations with friends about the upcoming year and what pranks the upperclassman will pull off on us are fond memories I have challenged myself to put to paper soon.

My good friend Jack is walking in school uniform, explaining his hat is like a pressure cooker, and he has it in his hand, I nod yes and any other words were lost to my memory. LaSalle was the military school his father sent Jack to even though his grades were very good, much better than mine. I thought it was a punishment for something or was it what the semi-middle-class families do for their children. I missed seeing Jack during the summer and thought of him less and less as time passed during my public school education.

Chuck was another not-as-close acquaintance, many said he paid his own tuition to LaSalle by playing poker in Columbia Park during most summer days, winning most of the time some small pots and then some large. Chuck was probably the most versatile ball player in our Little League, excelling at pitching and masterful at catching way over and above most boys his age. The talent for baseball was for all to see, the cardplaying seems backed up by a brief conversation with some older boys I overheard, they had a Skelton key and were breaking into apartments and stealing cash, this is the group that lost money gambling in the park I thought. Committing a crime, really breaking into someone's home repelled me and I shut it out of my mind after six decades or more and wrote it now as a release from grief. That's all for now.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Grief, Relentless Grief

Of course, it has been two months since my wife's death, really most of it was a day-by-day slog thru six feet of emotional snow and rain. Sad to equate my loss to a weather report, but I have grown numb and am trying to catalog my grief and not have it dominate all thoughts and conversations.

The financial side of losing a spouse is taxing, the months it is taking to have access to her funds is knawing at my patience. The IRS held up our return or for instance, they needed a death certificate to verify death in the family, IRS has pounded me into submission, another six to eight weeks to process your file, sir.

The maintenance of the home, vehicles, quiet neighbors, my blue funk, and the black cloud is relentless. Losing weight, eating less, listening less, zoning out, and sleeping more, my feet, back, and knees are slowly killing me.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Time and death

DEATH happened in our bedroom, it was time for your afternoon nap, it was 1 PM on a Sunday, my dearest you left me. My youngest boy is deep into his forties and crying out to his Mom. CPR with oxygen, nothing, time was slowing down, I saw her turn blue her blotched face with deepening blue lips, the paramedics pushed us away, and I sat numb near the doorway, in the haze of activity. Guilt would come, and cut me deep but not yet, the time was almost frozen and more people were arriving, the police, our children, your sister, and daughter-in-law were shocked white as the sheet over you. I am alone I walk the few steps to my wife, she's laying on the floor, I want to pull back the sheet to see her face, I must, tears are running down my face, your face is still and you are not suffering, if there is heaven your soul is there.

[heartseventysixbooks]

I HAVE LOST YOU. Gone, my beautiful wife has died and I feel loneliness deep In my soul, it is another spot, not the giving spot that warms. This spot is cold and dank, and unforgiving, this feeling is heavy and keeps me quiet and longing for the only person I ever loved with all my soul all my heart. Zanax will let me sleep after an hour or so of trying to find a warm soft place on our bed. Tossing and turning, twisting the sheets and blankets, throwing the comforter to the floor.

You said boxes flying and hitting your head will be her in the cabinet. Watching television a night ago, the reflection shone on the bay window as usual, but on the fireplace mantel was a ceramic pot for a plant and some framed pictures of our family, I saw you reflected like a blurred electronic wave across the mantel. This vision took my breath, I rose, and you in your casket disappeared. You must be here to ease my pain and to try to carry on. I miss you so much.

[heartseventysixbooks]

The real loss of a spouse

I have lost my loving wife, it is incredible that I feel alone after over fifty years of marriage. My granddaughter helps me with my day-to-day chores my grown children fly in for the funeral and burial this is a chore I must do, the task is writing about the woman I have lost, the only person I have loved with all my heart is gone, gut-wrenching, crying the depression, the loneliness, the guilt of not able to stop her leaving me. I am welling up with tears, I would really be taken more tact, and more finesse I cannot. I will write of more happy days under another Title.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Giving

To be able to give to someone that needs is gratifying, it almost made a big mouth like me speechless. I and another member of my post helped give out turkeys, hams, and all the dry goods to make a Christmas Meal, every recipient was so very grateful and needed help. I gave a concise speech to represent our post by providing a substantial cash gift, I then told the families there, to be good to each other and that letting me participate was something I looked forward to very much. So have a lovely Christmas.

After, John the manager of the 'Pantry" said only seventeen had shown up and he expected twenty-three he would wait for a while and maybe deliver to a few that needed the groceries but were too proud. Soul Warming Event.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Let's Review, Soul Warming

I started this blog, as thoughts on my professional career and thoughts on my personal life, and my attitudes. I look at the writer's section and the sales section. I have seen a spectrum of writers that seems they think they are trying too hard to entertain as many with graphic art, it needs to fail to succeed in such a moving target to try to hit something new and different, seems I am out of step by turning back to the past and procedures in the past that worked, and easier simpler plannable enterprise to succeed. Now back to soul-warming, I was flat on my back, I bounced off the ramp of my shed, and hit square on my tailbone my back was in such pain, I cursed out loud, something I rarely do, I got on all fours and met my dogs. They looked me up and down sensing something was wrong, other seconds and my wife and granddaughter were helping me to my recliner. My neighbor and my son offered to travel and assist me to finish the project. I could not be more grateful. Six inches of snow was my demise, not that I hadn't any experience, with snow, I have just grown older and less nimble, and I am recovering and doing better after a few days. We all need help we can accept it and we can give it, either way, make yourself ready to have your soul heated, Happy Holidays.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Preserver, Practice, Professional

How you act, how people see your practical knowledge, and how you are to the point and patient for you to engage in the conversation. Of course, this comes from practice, you are a pro, and what you say has been practiced over and over, you have recorded your sales pitch, it is correct and honest, and your voice has been listened to by you and your crew, you have ironed out the "like" and the " you knows" and the other fluff that takes away from you being a pro. This process is known to breed success frequently really, this is the way for over a hundred years in most states and communities around the world. Don't give up. preserver, stick to it, it works. To Preserver is Winston Churchill, a man to encourage his country to carry on. He was a rascal though and had a quick comeback to his dissenters. For example, A political foe said to Winston "If I was your wife I would poison your tea, he replied, "If I was your husband I would drink it".

So, humor in small talk is valuable but get your product knowledge down pat and practice, and don't give up.

Happy Holidays

[heartseventysixbooks]

Snow Days, for Sales

So it's been snowing and three to four inches are here so far, probably more coming not much anyone can do about the weather.

Thru common sense and practice you can start later if your job is on the road, if the customer is not plowed out for you, your delivery trucks won't make it either. So a day in the office or your home office is what to do. Just to let you know, emails and phone calls to reschedule customer appointments you have on the calendar are first. Second, could you check in with the office, are you needed to fill in for inside sales? You have a reliable car already for this winter hazard a well-maintained personal vehicle.

So you are at the office it is time to look carefully thru your sales reports and pick out the gold, the conversations you had with your accounts. Yes, you are looking for more business, or an anniversary, a child's birthday, or something in that line of personal information you will use to come to be a closer supplier and a potential friend in the makings.

How about on this slow business day, you put the finishing touches on that sales letter or email blast, how about putting the words on that verbal recommendation received from a customer put it as an addendum to your next sales report. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, it is just around the corner, Hanukkah and all other holidays are important and need to be kept alive forever.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Holiday, Report

My last posting was on Sales Reports and their Importance in B2B sales and a successful career. This report is back to my first post, "Good for the Soul", especially during the holidays. I have a chore coming up soon, I've done it before, and last year it was great, it took place in the back lot of an older industrial park the air was cold but not windy, and a few flakes of snow were the reminder it was December, the office space was Spartan on the outside the window was hazed over with the road spray and it was hard to see what was going on inside. John and his wife managed this charity, and they said "HI", "Come on in, it's super to see you", the first thing I noticed was they needed help filling paper bags with cans of veggies, and fresh rolls and gift cards, close by were over twenty or so frozen turkeys, we just got started getting these Christmas family meals for twenty families without they would go without or have much less. Now, no one avoided my eyes, all were grateful to a fault, there were mothers and dads who both had tears in their eyes, and everyone in the room was warm to all there. We didn't mind that the heat was absent or very low, I remember seeing my breath outside, but not inside, and my soul was warmed I have written about it spoke also to many, and the truth is I will repeat last years event again in a few weeks but before Christmas. Please do yourselves and do a good deed, and warm your heart/soul. You will be a better person.

[heartseventysixbooks]

Sales Reports Value

My blog is a common-sense conversation with anyone interested. My advice is based on decades of experience, from a sales career worth being proud of. This blog is about sales reports, this is the hard copy that an outside or inside salesperson submits to the boss. Maybe it is done weekly, and reviewed and critiqued by the whole sales staff.

Good keyboarding skills with good sentence construction and excellent spelling and grammar. The following are questions that the report answered.

Who, the customer's name, When, the date, Why are you there( Example, thanks for the order, how about our quote, what's on your desk I can help you with but before anything else ask specifically for the order) Under Who that purchasing assistant or agent or manager or owner. you know by his/her first name and what they buy because you asked and got a plant tour. These are nice people that know their business, solve problems, and don't reinvent the wheel.

The above was a sales report I continued to use for all my sales calls of that day and week, I wrote by hand notes to follow up with my customers on exact items and problems and quotes I personally would call or email knowing my close friend (eventually) preferred to do business with someone he would trust, and if needed a second look. People are successful, not bots or AI, talk to people and be happy and comfortable living an excellent life.