heliuxen-blog

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Ask Heli Anything

Have a question for me, or my girlfriend and I? Feel free to ask me/us by tweeting @ me with #askhelianything

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Ask HELIUXEN DUDE!

I am going to do an Ask Me Anything video, so ask me your questions with #askheliuxen and tumble @ me!

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Ancient Proverbs

If water is falling from the sky, it is probably rain. Or, you’re at an R. Kelly concert.

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Public Restroom Dilemma

That moment when you’re in the public restroom and you see a man (at least you’d think it was) in a stall and piss is hitting no where near the toilet. The sound of his stream makes an echo in the otherwise quiet and evil room of which all evil things pass through the human body. How do you even miss the toilet bowl that bad, anyway? Bathroom floors fucking matter dude. How dare you piss on the floor?!!?

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Fish bastards

That moment when your fish give you a dirty look, like they’re gonna slit your throat. I’ve threatened them with bleach, but they never relent and they continue to harass me in my pretend-sleep state.

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Sneeze Peeing

That moment when you are peeing and your hand isn’t on your jimmy, but a massive sneeze is coming. You cannot stop this sneeze, and you are afraid you will coat your whole bathroom wall in piss.... 

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Hard-on Peeing

That moment when you have to pee, and you have a hard-on. The pee gets all over the wall, but you can’t tell your boyfriend/girlfriend so you lick it up.

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IceJJfish Sucks is this true?

You MAKE ME SICK

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BEEMO the Canadian

Beemo, you son of a bitch. I want you to know that fuck your Candian ass haterful ass WORDS bitch. You have called me a bitch for the last time dude. I am so fed up with this shit, that I will roast you now.

When I was wee young lad, I once saw a Canadian. He was riding a Moose, as all Canadians really do. Then, I saw BEEMO, he was riding a moose... But the moose.... was not really a moose. It was me, and I planned to destroy his life..... From within. So, BEEMO... When you were gone, and you thought you rode a Moose... I fucked your mom dude. I fucked. Your. MOM! 

I hope you learned your lesson BEEMO. I hope you learned your FUCKING lesson.

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You realize that this blog triggered me. Maybe you should try adding some trigger warnings, you sexist cis chauvinist pig.

You triggered me by getting triggered, you make me fucking sick to my stomach.

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Hide away in your locked channels, why, what are you afraid of. You are Heliuxen, be with your people, do not elevate yourself above your people like a derailed train with the mind of a king. You created this, it was your idea to have a community, it is often called "society" so begin with being "social". The First step is admitting you have a problem, the problem that you have you should soon discover. Mind of a perfectionist is always in pain, the thoughts from superiors trickle down like rain

dAT BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII u are muted tho

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Marko fucked up again

Marko, you piece of shit. You dared to challenge me and who I am on TeamSpeak again? IT IS ON.

Marko, you have ruined my life for the last time. You have fucked my mom for the last time Marko. You have ruined every moment we ever had together. We ran deep, we made a difference in the world you and I. You make me sick, you break me deep inside. I am disgusted, I am broken as a man and as a lover that I once was of you. 

Marko, you dirty son of a gun. You ARE THE REASON THIS WORLD IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW... THIS WORLD BEING MY WORLD. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT... HAVE... .YOU...... DONER?!?!~?!?!@?!@?!@?!?1@??@!$?

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I want to ask heli, what is the meaning of life, why do we live or go on living? Are we all meant to just be alive?

Fuck. You are living to own fish. Buy multiple fish tanks, be sure to send prayers to your Lord IceJJFish and all will be good.

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Heliuxen is not my god.

Wha.... what.... how dare you... you INSOLENT PEASANT YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST ME!Just kidding I love you.

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marko the bane of existence

marko walked down the street, and his ugly as fucking face made me sick. he said that tumblr was shit, and I told him like it was. This is bullshit. Tumblr lives matter dude, and so does everything else tumblr related. You are really fucking triggering me, Marko. You fucking piece of garbage that comes out of my keyboard when I slam it against my desk. You are those small pesty disgusting particles you piece of shit. I hope you feel some regret in your life, you hateful scumbag of a person.

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Why do you smell?

because one day my mom beat me, I fell into a pile of shit. it got stuck to me to this day, and it hurts so bad I can’t even breathe

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R u a Jew?

I’ve been found out!