herelivesahobbit

[herelivesahobbit]

i feel like so many people misunderstand redemption arcs. they’re not about forgiving past actions. they’re not about softening previous behavior. redemption arcs are about realizing past behavior was heinous and resolving to be better, do better. that’s why so many redemption arcs fall apart upon close scrutiny.

[herelivesahobbit]

this is getting concerning no i do not want to coddle a man like a child nor do i want him to control me and make all my decisions. have none of you considered maybe a man who is nice to you and treats you well and respects you. just a thought

[herelivesahobbit]

at a phase in my life where when i get the sense a book is trying to offer me Representation (TM) i hiss and scream and start kicking and ripping bricks out of the wall. this character's Coherent Identity And Articulation Of Their Issues had Better fit in with the rest of the worldbuilding (it won't)

[herelivesahobbit]

Something I think about a lot is that statistically, overwhelmingly, across cultures, the most dangerous person in a woman's life is her romantic partner or potential romantic partner. The entire process of courtship, romance, love, relationship and family is fraught with high possibility of violence, assault and death. Women make up an overwhelming majority of acid attack victims, rape victims and domestic violence victims.

Yet, they also make up an overwhelming majority of the consumers of the romance genre, across mediums.

Yet, today we're having serious conversations in mainstream media and spaces about how harmful it is for women to distance themselves from men, to choose to be alone, to reject male companionship. How its women responsible for the epidemic of mens loneliness.

I dont think there's anything women want more than to live in a world where they feel safe around men. Where the world of the romance genre is real - where men are basically good, decent and safe to be around. Where our partners, even if they hurt us, can and will evolve to be better one day. Truly better.

Statistically, it doesn't work like that in the real world. Abusers don't reform. Rapists rarely repent. Everyone hates a female victim who speaks out. From a very young age, women have to accept we live in a world of predators, and we have to protect ourselves because no one else will, and thats just how it is. The fact that we don't feel safe- the fact that we aren't safe- is not the fault of women. The male loneliness epidemic is caused by men.

It is a result of a sick, twisted system that builds off off the normalization of women's pain and their continous, uncomplaining acceptance of the same. If the system breaks down because women choose to be happy and free, then it isn't and wasnt worth saving in the first place. If men's happiness can ONLY be achieved by women's sacrifice and pain - then I don't care about it.

But its not be me setting up this zero sum game. Its the patriarchy that profits from the narrative that its women's happiness vs mens happiness and the two cannot co-exist in one society. The way to evolve is to be able to face the facts. Men hurt women. It isn't natural and normal. Its an epidemic of violence. It has to stop.

[herelivesahobbit]

-"‘I don’t see what’s so hard about being a woman. At least, not as long as she’s got a man.’ - ‘That’s just it,’ said she. ‘Hasn’t it ever struck you that that’s a sort of humiliating necessity?’"

James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room

[herelivesahobbit]

iris by goo goo dolls really is insane though. I'd give up forever to touch you? you're the closest to heaven I'll ever be? all I can breathe is your life? and I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think they'd understand? when everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am? does anyone hear me.

[herelivesahobbit]

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

[herelivesahobbit]

Been thinking about Bhumi Pednekar and why we instinctively hate women who Try Too Hard

Maybe an unpopular opinion...but when I was young and fat and resisting and didn't care there was a whole bunch of outside world issues to deal with but inside I was weirdly at peace and insulated from it all. Something snaps and suddenly being thin and conventionally hot takes over the brain. And once you get on that weight loss train you never get off. Theres no good enough. There is no mythical weight/beauty combination at which you'll finally have "won" and can relax and get your fat happy personality back. The trade off is the trade off and you can choose but the choice is clearly between what evil thing you're dedicating a significant chunk of your mental/physical resources to: traumas of fat phobia, or the hamster wheel of female weight/appearance obsession. Either way, the patriarchy takes it's cut. And women like Bhumi remind us too much of the ugly realities behind the beauty culture x patriarchy collaboration. The sausage is being made and its stinky as hell, take it away!

[herelivesahobbit]

painting this on the ceiling above my bed so it's the first thing i see upon waking in the morning and the last thing i see before falling asleep at night

[herelivesahobbit]

I love how everyone has come together even some old friends to celebrate bonkai on their special day

[herelivesahobbit]

I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day.

(happy may 10th!)

[herelivesahobbit]

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

[herelivesahobbit]

Nathanael Billings

[herelivesahobbit]

daily affirmations

- I will own a house and decorate it just like I've been dreaming of for years

- I WILL OWN A HOUSE

- my house will have the cutest decor ever

- I will have the most peaceful house of all time

- house

[herelivesahobbit]

Virginia Woolf, from a diary entry featured in “The Selected Diaries of Virginia Woolf,”

[herelivesahobbit]

dni unless you have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, all while possessing a certain something in your air and manner of walking, the tone of your voice, your address and expressions-

[herelivesahobbit]

Tumblr really stumbled into a beautiful feature with the whole "tags are separated from the main post" (as they should be, they're metadata) + "tags can be as long as entire tweets" thing. They make a really nice form of textual subvocalization/whisper mode/aside/whatever (they're flexible!).

I keep finding myself wanting to make such asides on other sites and find myself subtly irritated that I can't. I wanna elaborate in a way that is diminished compared to the main post!