herfiles - Tumblr blog

[herfiles]

i have been in this situation one too many times that i would like to admit in all honesty, and it fucking sucks! it’s like i’m playing a game and i haven’t even been told what the rules are yet, and it just cuts deep. my first relationship ever, we fell in love like normal right? well half way through the relationship i just ended up being the only one even in love and it just felt like a “what did i do wrong?” kind of situation for awhile, what was worse is that i kinda just let it go on for more than it should have. i knew for months that he had fallen out of love with me but i still stayed in this relationship because i thought it was my fault and i was searching and looking at myself for any possible reasoning that may have caused this to have happened. what killed me....was that when i finally realized that it wasn’t my fault and i had wasted time looking at myself as if i was the issue when the issue was just a plain fact. he didn’t love me like he used to, and there wasn’t much to change that fact. 

Stella - All Time Low

[herfiles]

Gratitude: recognize the good in your life.

(via motivated-mindset)

definitely want to keep this in mind as i continue to grow into the woman i want to be in 2020 

[herfiles]

2020 Dream Board

Here is my 2020 dream board!

1. Hobbies

i am a dancer and it is sadly my last year dancing for my high school competitive dance team so hopefully my college has a dance team, when i visited i did not hear of one but hopefully there is, if not i can always do it on my own time :)

i LOVE photography and i hope to buy my own camera some time so i can continue taking pictures with an actual nice camera and post those photos here to share :D

i have been writing poetry and stories since 7th grade which was a long ass time ago (2014 to be exact) and i have been slacking, i admit i’ve been slacking on my writing but i hope to re-continue some of written works and possibly start new one’s. 

2. My YouTube Channel and Personal Blog

so i want to start an official yt channel and actually post videos and do stuff, so i’ll be getting around to doing that, i’ve already created a business email and everything so im excited. yt’s always been a really nice past time and its great platform (to an extent) for content creators soooo hopefully i get around to making my first video soon!

so as you can see i’ve started my own personal blog so i can check this off my 2020 dream board but i’ve always wanted something kinda like this where i can post,share my personal life (not 2 personal tho) feelings, opinions with other people who don’t necessarily know me personally and i can hear what they think and you get the point so this is gonna be fun.

3. Body Goals

so it’s been my goal for awhile, and i’m sure it’s been everyone’s new years resolution at least once to “lose weight” i’ve been on a weight loss journey since 2013, and i’ve been through many ups and downs along the way including two eating disorders (which i am currently in recovery for) growing up i’ve always been on what people now call the “thicker” side, so i want to slim out my waist and stomach and get my booty a little more firmer ig. My waist has slimmed out due to my e.d’s  but i wanna do this in a more healthy way. 

4. Luxury Items

i have always been a big fan of Coco Chanel, she is such an inspirational woman and i’ve watched so many documentaries about her and i just love her, so i want to buy some chanel products, especially for my birthday. i want to buy a pair of chanel stud earrings for my 18th birthday (with my own money) and possibly invest in a chanel bag and/or the chanel #5 perfume.

5. Piercings

i want to get more ear piercings lmaoo XD that’s it for this one

6. Closet

now that i’m moving away from the nest and going into college very soon, i will be donating a lot of my clothes that i dont want anymore to a goodwill maybe, and that means starting up a new closet, so i am currently browsing and looking around for clothes that are more of my style or really a style that’s more personalized. 

7. Tattoos

i’ve been thinking and planning my first tattoo for two years, now that sounds fucking ridiculous...because it is lmaoo XD but i’ve been changing my idea of what i want my first tattoo to be and where i want it and what ink color i wanted it to be but i finally know what i want and where i want to put it so now its all about going in for a consultation with an artist that does best with im looking for and seeing what we can come up with and then actually getting it done.

8. Hair Goals

i’ve been cutting my hair a lot recently so i want to start growing my hair back out now and leaving it long lmaoo, wish me good luck with this one

9. Personal Library

i love to read, so i now want to build a more personalized library of classic books and all of my favorites. maybe i’ll make a whole couple of posts of what’s in it or what’s to come

10. Concerts

there is more than a couple people that i would love to see in concert, so if those certain people do go on tour or hold concerts anywhere near me i def want to go to them, but in general i love going to concerts and willing to go to any concert really with some friends :D

11. Electronics 

i knew that you knew this was gonna be on here at some point lmao, well here it is, i want to buy a new phone for myself (also with my own money) and get a pair of air pods and a new laptop for college, simple as that ig. but very expensive so wish my bank account luck!

12. Travel

yes of course this is also on the dream board like the million other girls who make these lmaoooo, but its true i really want to travel and im planning for a trip to toronto, canada possibly, maybe a trip to harry potter world OR disneyland XD don’t make fun of me for these pls