heyyesimtrash-whatofit

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Been thinking about that line in Did We Do It?. The one that goes “the lies yet hidden / since forgiven. / All your misdeeds fade from vision. / When you write the book you’re off the hook.” Or smth along those lines (I’m at work, gimme a break)

That doesn’t feel right. It’s out of place, especially considering what just happened. So you know what I think it is?

I think it’s a reflection of Monty’s “everything is fine” mask being pulled up so far and cutting so deep that it literally twists what he’s hearing the other characters say. Bro is so scared of what the others might actually be saying he’s actually delusional.

I could go deeper on this, maybe I will later, but for now have this thought that’s been tormenting me all shift :)

Also-

Have this shitty Charles doodle that I did while trying to maintain some sanity :D

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Every time I draw Charlie his glasses get bigger I stg-

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Various Mincemeat Thoughts I’ve had while at work recently

Monty runs cold (going off of what I’ve heard abt the lovely UK weather), Charlie runs hot (Australian Upbringing coming in clutch for summers but kicking his ass in the winter), and Jean is lowkey just there chilling

Hester makes note of all three of these facts and puts them to good use by prepping to battle the challenges they bring

Aka blankets for if Monty starts complaining, a small fan if the basement gets hot, and respectively hot/cold drinks on standby

Again, team mom.

Speaking of, Jean referring to Hester as “mum” isn’t anything shocking. Almost all the typing pool girls do. Monty making jokes? Also not shocking. Charles slipping one day and doing so, with Monty following not long after? Now that was a bit more shocking

Hester being there has lowkey saved the team (Monty) from Bevan’s wrath a few times

Back to my previous headcanon of Charles getting close with the typing pool girls because he’s simply nice to them: I think he ends up being a bit of a gossip. Not on purpose! It’s just- well he was talking with the girls one day and one of them mentioned a rumor that these two officers were shagging in the bathrooms and well isn’t that an interesting topic of conversation? Especially when they have evidence???

Jean thinks it’s hysterical how he’s slowly being dragged into the typing pool girls’ group

He’s given shit for it by other male agents around MI5, naturally, but that stopped pretty quickly after someone heard him mumble something personal that he absolutely should not have known under his breath in retaliation

Hester and Monty had to keep a very flustered officer from breaking down the basement door trying to get at Charlie after he hid in there

There’s a tally set in the corner of the basement’s blackboard titled “Monty’s Accidental Misogyny” with a tick for every time he pulls some shit. Every 10 and he owes Jean or Hester a favor

He’s actually gotten really better since working on Mincemeat, and that’s not just under the threat of the tally system. The typing pool notices and talks abt it

Charles becomes more outspoken after Mincemeat and whatnot. He’s willing to talk, to give ideas and suggestions, although it certainly sends him reeling the first time he speaks up and is instead met with genuine interest rather than mocking

The team are all proud of him :)

Monty’s “I will sit on any flat surface available” attitude bit him square in the ass one day when he completely ignored the literal warning sign on it and jumped to sit on a side table in a meeting and it crumbled. That’s was definitely embarrassing

There was one time Monty needed to reach something that was high up, and rather than grab a ladder or something of the sort he enlisted Charles’ help. That is to say, he called Charlie over and basically scaled him as if he were a human ladder with little to no warning beyond “hold still.”

The next time anyone saw them they were on a heap on the floor, the box Monty was trying to reach overturned on Monty’s head, papers everywhere

Hester has developed a habit of reminding all members of the team to take breaks and take care of themselves, as every single one of them developed a terrible tendency to completely ignore all needs in favor of working during the mission

Of course, this started with her girls in the typing pool, then extended to Jean, then Monty and Charles by the end of the mission when she’d come in for days on end and find the two of them passed out at the desk

Charles will still shiver and look around if you mention “that strange man with the top hat and cape”

Charles is the heaviest sleeper of the team, given he’s able to relax and actually fall asleep fully

Charles unfortunately falls to the “hey have you seen my glasses?” While they’re right on top of his head bit a lot. Moves them to clean them or wakes up on the desk and will wander for a good 15 minutes before he remembers, which is painful to watch considering how shit his eyes are

Jean and Monty get angry more often, Hester and Charles are scarier when they are

I think that’s abt it for this round. Idk wanted to post smth after being dead for so long and I’ve had a lot of time to think abt the sillies lately so woe, mincemeat headcanons be upon yee or smth like that

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

THE SKETCH OF THE PROJECT™️ IS DONE

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Sometimes the grind looks like working at the newest big project for hours.

Other times it looks like scribbling down notes on a piece of parchment paper at work while looping the inspo song for said project because that’s all you can do at this point

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Today I’ve drawn Charlie as a variety of bugs (and an amphibian) and honestly it’s incredibly easy to make said bug feel like Charlie by just giving them glasses and a worried expression

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

I think I’d quite like to hear/see Charles “you haven’t seen me tango!” Cholmondley sing/dance to The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer, yes indeed

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

The grind on The Project™️ never stops as I start doodling poses on receipt paper at work

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Big project in the works so in the meantime I figured I’d drop another list of

RANDOM MINCEMEAT HEADCANONS/IDEAS

Because yall seem to enjoy them so-

As per usual, these pertain to the CHARACTERS not the PEOPLE

*ahem*

Everyone got so used to just speaking their mind in the basement that there’s a good chance they blurt smth out during meetings without thinking

Jean mentioning an alternate idea when she was ment to just be bringing tea without thinking, Hester mumbling something under her breath about how childish the bickering currently happening is, Charles dropping an absolutely absurd-yet-possible concept as if it’s the most normal solution ever- it’s all happened and Monty - the only person who already did that before the mission - could not be more proud

He has pleaded with Bevan (and others) not to punish them for it plenty a time because, quote, “we’ve all been working in an environment where that kind of idea bouncing is what made Mincemeat a success for months, Johnny! That’s not something you just stop doing on a dime!”

It’s somehow worked.

Someone calls Team Mincemeat “Bevan’s favorites” to his face under the reasoning that they seem to always get away with stuff. Bevan does not take this kindly

Suddenly Monty’s getting a lecture on proper meeting etiquette and how blurting out ideas, no matter how good or solid a point they may be, in the middle of a meeting is not okay. Monty laughs through this lecture

Monty’s not necessarily hotheaded, he can take a lot, but he will not take kindly to the insulting of work and - by extension (and his own heart) - his team

Think his argument with Bevan in Making a Man. I know I’ve talked about this before but really, he was fine up until Bevan insulted the plan and the team working on it. Then suddenly Monty’s rolling up his sleeves. Yeah that? That carries post mission

Yeah sure, Mincemeat was freaking bonkers, but it worked damnit. You don’t get to call a plan that worked “harebrained,” especially when you didn’t work on it. I wouldn’t suggest insulting the team either, lest you risk having your head bit off

Monty has taken Jean for drinks a NUMBER of times as an apology for his, as she’s taken to calling it, “accidental misogyny.”

Hester has joined them before

Of all the members of the team, Charles is most likely to be invited by Jean to join the typing pool girls out dancing. He’s like that one guy friend in the group of girls who’s just there for a good time

Hester isn’t the choice because she’s their work mom and boss, and Monty is….not exactly the type you bring on girls night

But Charles is kind, never talks down to them, and is always willing to listen to them if they have an idea for something (he knows what it’s like to be ignored). It really shouldn’t have come as a shock when Jean cornered him one day claiming her and the typing pool girls were going dancing and they wanted to know if he wanted to join

Jean’s stayed over at Charles’ before. Nothing romantic, she was just complaining about her mother being on her ass about one thing or another and Charles offhandedly offered her a place to stay for the night. He grew up with sisters after all, surely no part of her nightly routine could shock him

Give me more Jean and Charles having a sibling relationship PLEASE

Team Mince will kinda clump at company outings. Yes, Jean will stick by the typing pool girls. Yes, Hester is either with them as well or with Bevan. Yes, Monty can talk with anyone. But the moment they sense/see one of the others in a less than ideal situation? (Ex: hiding behind a pot, being harassed by another employee, being belittled by another employee, etc) The clump. It’s like a magnet almost.

Oh, some asshole wouldn’t leave Jean and the girls alone? Suddenly Hester is staring them down while Monty and Charles strike up conversations about the girls’ latest projects

Charlie being harassed because that’s what happens when your nickname is “Bug Boy”? Monty’s now loudly recalling how Charlie first pitched Mincemeat to him and so kindly offered partnership while Jean and Hester nod along approvingly

Monty and Hester are less-often the harassed party, but it has happened and Jean and Charles never fail to pull through

Monty makes fun of Charles’ bad eyesight (in the way good friends always make fun of each other). In return, Charles is always asking Monty if it’s hard not being able to reach the top shelf

Monty got Charles another mug with his face on it for Christmas. Charles returned the favor the next year

Jean has compared the team to the gang from the Wizard of Oz and will continue to do so until she dies or the prove her wrong

For reference: Monty - Scarecrow, Hester - Tin Man, Charlie - Cowardly Lion

All three proceeded to give her shit for it (“do you really think I’m brainless/heartless/a coward?”)

Countless long nights in the basement have given them the ability to silently communicate. It’s both super sweet and super terrifying

It’s sweet because if any member of the team needs anything (tea, to talk, a hug) the others are immediately able to pick up on it and won’t hesitate to help

It’s scary because sometimes they’ll just start laughing seemingly without rhyme or reason and no one can ever tell what or who it is they’re laughing at

Hester, the responsible one of the group, has found the other three sleeping in various positions in the basement. These include but aren’t limited to: sprawled out on the floor like a starfish (Monty), curled up as tightly as possible (Charles), against the desk (Monty), slumped in the corner (Jean and Monty), head in their arms at the desk (all), on the desk (Monty), under the desk (Monty), slumped backwards in their chair (Charles), behind the chalkboard as if it would hide them (Jean), and more.

Hester refuses to mention the time they caught her also asleep at the desk. It didn’t happen

“Charlie, I’ve got a brilliant idea-“ is a surefire way to get every head in the basement to turn and a chorus of “NO”s to ring out

Monty calls Bull because he’s had some GREAT ideas thank you

The team have found themselves having multiple inside jokes, a number of them involving non-team members and the dumb shit they’ve said around them

Sure, Monty was an Eton boy himself, but the constant quoting of the mottos is just too funny not to make jokes about. Even he’s not that bad (oh but he was)

I also think it would be funny if they somehow started doing the “Major ___/General ___/Private ___/Corporal ___” bit from How I Met Your Mother. Don’t ask me how it happened, I just think it would be funny if while in the canteen one day someone shouted smth about “that being general knowledge!” And Monty, Charles, and Jean in perfect sync doing a little mock salute and muttering “General Knowledge” under their breaths

Monty likes to think he could pick up Charlie. He cannot.

Charlie can pick up every member of Team Mince, be it with a little bit of struggle on occasion

Hester is very thankful for the team’s understanding and liking for figurative language, considering Bevan’s distaste for it

“Let’s fix up the MI5 garden!” Said the team, momentarily forgetting Charles’ distaste for bees

Cut to everyone digging in the mulch while Charles goes running past screaming in the background

Charles doesn’t like bees, but the bees love Charles

The team became irreversibly closer after the first time they huddled together in that basement under their single flimsy desk as the bombs rained down overhead. Something changed that night

Charles and Hester give the best hugs of the group. Firm, but not the “I’m going to squeeze all the air out of your lungs” strength that Monty and Jean’s exhibit

Everyone has cried in the basement at least once. Believe it or not, everyone’s seen everyone cry at least once (be it during or post mission)

Okay I think that’s it for tonight. Hope this makes up for my lack of anything these past few days lol

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

I’ve heard Dead in the Water so many times in the past 4 hours I think I’m going to go insane

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

And here I was looking for inspiration for what I should doodle to warm up to work on my project

You’ve struck gold with these OP

Incorrect quotes starring the basement gang. I got a little carried away.

Charles: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Jean: I would say infinitesimally.

Ewen: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Ewen: Can I borrow five dollars?

Jean: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?

Ewen: Of course.

Ewen: Not directly, but with my love and affection.

Jean: So that’s a no.

Ewen, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.

Charles: But how-

Ewen, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Ewen: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Charles: Those are wanted posters!

Hester : Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ewen?

Ewen: No.

Charles: I do!

Hester : I know, Charles.

Charles: I’m sad.

Hester : I know, Charles.

Ewen: If I run and leap at Charles, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Ewen, running towards Charles: Coming in!

Charles: No! I’m holding coffee!

Charles: *Drops coffee and catches Ewen*

Jean: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Ewen: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Jean: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Charles : Edible.

Hester : I hope you have an explanation for this.

Ewen: We have three, actually!

Jean: Pick your favorite.

Charles: As a responsible adult-

Hester : *chuckles*

Charles: … As a responsible adult—

Hester : If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

Jean, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Hester : A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Jean:

Jean: Water you doing?

Charles: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Ewen: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Ewen: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Charles does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?

Hester: If Charles were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Charles jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Ewen: You jump off a cliff!

Hester: Gladly. Provided Charles did first.

Ewen: Charles and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Charles: Sentences.

Ewen: Don't interrupt me.

Charles: Jean, can I talk to you for a second?

Jean: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Ewen are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Charles: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.

Charles: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Hester: Plane tickets?

Jean: Concert tickets?

Ewen: Prostitution?

Charles, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

POV: you and your friends sitting outside the Principal’s/Dean’s office after doing some stupid shit cuz it was funny

WYD if me and my gang pull up

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

J is Horrible and Felt Like Putting Monty Through the Ringer: A Short-Ish Ramble by Me (J)

How much did the betrayal of the team hurt him? Sure, yes, he scared the shit out of them with his whole script thing, but what about his end of things? If they’d jumped to the wrong conclusion, drawn the wrong ideas, he would’ve been executed. No one would’ve listened to the man who sold their documents to the enemy, after all. An execution delivered to him by the hands of his own team, his family, so directly that they may as well have been the ones in the firing squad holding the guns. They didn’t even give him much of a chance to explain himself before they snapped at him, only really cut off by Bevan entering. They were terrified too, he knows. They were terrified and hurt, just like him, but they could’ve at least listened to his idea before shooting it down, right? This is why he didn’t show it in the first place!

Did it ever occur to them, he wonders, that he was scared too? Sure, him being Jewish isn’t exactly something you parade around when going against Nazi Germany, but surely they knew. They went through his files, knew everything about him before they hunted him down. Surely they could’ve put two and two together that his whole “everything’s fine, have faith!” bit was just an act, a final bit of glue and prayer that he wouldn’t fall apart.

They talked in halls, in meetings and passing, but never were things truly fixed among them. They got their answer, that Monty wasn’t a double agent, but at the cost of their trust in each other. Monty retreated behind his mask and never made a move to drop it again because look where it got him last time?

How much did filming his movie hurt Monty? How painful was it to work alongside actors who were so similar yet so different to the team they built from nothing but a crazy idea and faith? How often does he see one of them in the corner of his eye and feel a spark of hope that it’s his team again, only to crumble when his brain registers the truth? How many nights has he cried in his trailer over unsent/returned-unopened letters, cursing himself for ever letting his fear of being forgotten drive him to write the damn script in the first place?

And even with the countless fix-it aus one could have, like my “Monty’s Great Apology Extravaganza” one from my one fic, how do they move on?

What happens when someone on the team is looking for a misplaced document when Monty enters the room and freezes as they hover over his desk? What happens when all the stresses of working in the military during a war cause someone to raise their voice a little too loud and he outright stops being himself? Or a heated conversation leaves him stuck between someone and a wall/desk/obstacle with nowhere to move to?

No, Monty was not the only person affected by what happened. I imagine Charlie and Jean are quite mistrusting of any sort of secret keeping for a while, Charles being against being praised for his intelligence in any way, Jean being suspicious of anyone anytime they claimed her a brilliant girl, and Hester is quite cold, but I’d be willing to argue Monty got the short end of the stick when it came to the problem he - admittedly - caused himself.

If their plan failed, he was dead (be it for being Jewish or for working against the Germans). If his team drew the wrong conclusions, he was dead.

His only hope was for the plan to succeed, and he clung to it like the lifeline it was only for it to blow up in his face to a caliber he never could’ve imagined.

TL,DR: While J may not agree with Monty’s whole “let’s make a movie!!” approach, she cannot deny that the whole accusation of treason probably fucked him up the most out of their little team. For a man who just didn’t want to be forgotten, death by Nazis and death by your own damn teammates are two very shitty options to be handed.

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Yesssss @balancedforeggs you get it

I need that one low-brass-baseline from Making a Man (the one behind the whole “Step 3: send bill to sea!” bit before Charles meets with the admirals) injected straight into my damn veins NOW

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

I need that one low-brass-baseline from Making a Man (the one behind the whole “Step 3: send bill to sea!” bit before Charles meets with the admirals) injected straight into my damn veins NOW

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

I’ve finally discovered why I fell into the Mincemeat Pit so fast

BIG BRASS BACKTRACKING. I freaking LOVE any sort of big brass and it’s EVERYWHERE in Mincemeat. So-

Historical event. I like learning abt history quite a bit, with WW2 being the area that interests me the most. So naturally-

A leading lower female role! They’re rare in shows put on nowadays and as someone who’s much comfier in her lower range rather than trying to screlt into the rafters the roles of Bevan and Monty are quite appealing to me

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

Something I’ve been thinking about: Monty and Bevan’s argument in Making a Man.

Because Monty has a point.

They weren’t just being willy-nilly with the government credit card. They had a plan, a story, they were executing. Sure, could they have communicated with Bevan more? Yeah, they could’ve, but the full scale interrogation claiming the team had no clue what they were doing was a bit much.

Monty had a right to get angry, and I’d wager that the other members of the team might’ve to some extent too. The problem was that it was Ewen “the rules don’t apply to us” Montagu who spoke first, causing Bevan to assume the worst and blow up. No chance for explanation, just the claim that Monty’s ego is driving their plan into the ground.

And I think that’s interesting, because you know what? If someone assumed I was just being an egotistical asshole rather than trying to create a convincing story to end a war, I would snap like Monty too.

TL,DR: Monty’s crash out in Making a Man is actually pretty justified and I honestly believe the rest of the team probably felt some sort of the same way at least a bit.