himitsukki

[himitsukki]

my heart can’t take this-

[himitsukki]

PLEASE DON’T SCROLL

even if you only reblog, that’s enough

1st of February, 2021

i was debating on whether or not i should post this on tumblr but seeing as there haven’t been posts about this yet, here it is. i’m exposing my real location and nationality but it doesn’t matter.

if you have been active on twitter, you may already know #savemyanmar is trending. long story short, there has been a military coup. several nations have released statements but i want to share insight on what’s happening in the country.

memes about a coup have been circulating around for a couple days and when i slept at 2 am last night, we were still under the rule of the National League for Democracy (NLD). while they are not technically democratic, they are the closest we’ve got. when my mother woke up at 6 this morning, she was notified that the country was now under the rule of the military.

banks services are no longer available. wifi was cut at around 7-8. some people got wifi again earlier but many got it barely thirty minutes ago. this is bad for businesses especially ones that require international communications. additionally, international students like myself are experiencing anxiety; how do we pay for and attend classes if we’re not sure wifi is a given?

myanmar has a long, complicated history with military governments. the last time the military went into rule was in 1962 and only stopped in 2011, following the 2010 elections. there was a huge protest in 1988 lead by students that resulted in lots of death. during the military junta, resources like rice, water, oil, were scarce. the gist is military rule is bad for us.

all of my followers are not myanmar citizens, i’m sure but as part of the international community, please help us. here is a petition that you can sign (although i’m not sure if that can do much). there may be protests in front of myanmar embassies so look out for those. most of all, please help spread awareness. 

the people here are coping with dark humor, primarily in the form of memes but we don’t know how long this rule will last, even though the official statement said only a year. here’s something that pretty much sums up our coping mechanism:

again, even a reblog helps

update :: all telecommunication means will be cut off at 12 am MMT

[himitsukki]

damn i’m rlly bad at being consistent,,, i am so sorry

added character drabble links and the  ohshc! au introduction link <333

most recent:  extraordinary // oikawa tooru

[𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁]

note: all are [character] x fem!reader unless stated!

[𝗸𝗲𝘆]

☾︎ himi’s favorites ✎ currently writing angst, fluff, smut, suggestive

current status: very slow updates blame med school

most recent:  extraordinary // oikawa tooru

oikawa tooru 

— sensitive | f, su —  extraordinary | a ☾︎

kuroo tetsurou

— obsessed | f, su ☾︎ — #drabbles

bokuto koutarou

— honesty | a ☾︎

akaashi keiji

— #drabbles

tsukishima kei

— crescent | f ☾︎ — concatenation | f

miya atsumu

— proud | f

multiple

— nice serve! | f ✎ — ohshc! au | f  ✎ 

thirsts

#ht.spice 

works in progress:

— [rewriting] nice serve! 

— very late birthday fic for kuroo 

—  very late birthday fic for akaashi

© all writings belong to himitsukki. please do not repost or modify without permission.

[himitsukki]

𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙠𝙚𝙞𝙟𝙞 // 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧

warnings: mentions of panic attack, mentions of anixety

wc: 436 words

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰   

you don’t need to look at a clock to know that it’s already long past midnight. you’re on your preparations for your upcoming midterms next week, and you can’t deny that you’re slowly losing your mind over the amount of content your have to understand and cram in your head. 

with each passing thought of failing your examinations and getting a low grade for your course makes you shiver involuntarily; despite how you’re drowning in the thick fabrics of your boyfriend’s (stolen) hoodie, you feel the cold slowly creeping in through your bones. you feel how slowly, you’re trembling ever so slightly, and you’re now aware of the abnormal breathing pattern that you’re manually doing. 

you know you’re having a panic attack, and you’re trying your hardest to control it, but your awareness of your breathing continues and the trembling won’t still, only worsen. 

suddenly, the scent of something very familiar to you wafts through the air around you: following the direction with a turn of your head, you see your boyfriend laying down a cup of steaming hot coffee next to your laptop, far away as to not be a hazard but near enough to be in your arms-reach. 

“still not yet down?“ akaashi asks. you relunctantly shake your head no and let out a shaky breath past your lips. he takes notice, you observe, but he doesn’t say anything; instead, he lets his actions speak for him as he snakes his hand towards yours on your lap, his fingers intertwining with your own. softly, but firmly, he squeezes your hand until he feels your fingers bend and squeeze back. 

a few minutes pass by without a word nor a sound from either of you, but words aren’t needed when you understand each other with just one look or a simple movement. 

with the soft ticking of the clock on the wall near you and the sound of his breathing as akaashi lays his head atop of yours, his lips puckering slightly to give you a kiss on the crown of your head, time seems to stand still, but the ticking of the clock proves otherwise. still, you let yourself relax and allow yourself to not think or feel of anything thats not akaashi keiji.

with one final soft kiss on your forehead, akaashi tells you to not push yourself too hard and visit him by his office area once you’re done studying. he leaves the room, and the air seems to lose a bit its warmth, but the aroma of the coffee lingers on, along with the warmth of his kiss on your head.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

𝙫𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨! 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙠𝙮𝙪𝙪 // 𝙤𝙝𝙨𝙝𝙘! 𝙖𝙪

chs: oikawa tooru, tsukishima kei, bokuto koutaro, akaashi keiji, miya atsumu, kuroo tetsuro

introduction

masterlist | more coming soon

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

shiratorizawa academy is defined by, one, pretigious families, two, wealth, and prosperous people who have too much time on their hands. therefore, shiratorizawa volleyball host club is about these handsome guys that have time giving hospitality to these lovely ladies who also have time... and profit off of them. It’s an elegant game unique to this super-rich school.

all throughout your life, you can proudly say that you've never regretted anything. there's always a reason why a specific event happened or a certain decision was made, you believed. ever since your mom died, you vowed yourself to make life at present as enjoyable as you can while thinking of the future and ignoring the past.

right now, however, you begin to regret your decisions that lead up to this point, this very moment; of considering this full academic scholarship,  of choosing to take it, of enrolling in this academy, of opening the doors of gym #3.

“you’ve done it now, newbie.“

"that could've reaped up seven million yen, y'know."

seven... million... yen... 

that’s two years’ worth of tuition here.

“what are we going to do, oikawa-san?“

i’m the only person in this massive academy who’s on academic scholarship.

“you know what they say, if you don’t have money, pay for it with your body.“

i’m doomed.

“starting now... you’re shiratorizawa volleybal host club’s pet.“

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

𝙠𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙪 // 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙖𝙮

warnings: (-)

wc: 150

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"honey, i'm home!" kuroo greets you loudly, softly slamming the door shut. instantly, his arms wrap around your waist and his front presses flush to your back.

"what's for dinner?" he asks. you feel him giving you a kiss on your head.

before you could answer, a security guard walks into your view, forcefully coughing while struggling to not laugh at you two. in the corner, a family walks by with laughs and jokes of how you remind them of themselves. the kid in bewteen smiles at you before looking elsewhere.  

"do you think we'll be like them someday?" he asks, his mouth right next your ear. 

"i think we'll be them someday." you close your eyes and lean back to his chest, the constant noise from the other people becoming white noise.

"i like the sound of that," you hear him whisper to you. 

"we should probably start with stealing their identity. hold up, babe, let’s make our future a reality."

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙠𝙚𝙞𝙟𝙞 // 𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙚

warnings: (-)

wc: 100

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you don't need a clock to know that it's already past midnight, but you still aren't finished with your readings for your next class.

you're tired and you desperately want to go to sleep, but you know you'll only feel guilty and remoseful in the following morning, and the neverending cycle of chronic fatigue and self-guilt lives one day more.

"go to sleep," says your mind and your boyfriend. you turn your head over to look at akaashi, his undereyes dark and almost purple. he's also tired and in need of rest.

just one more day.

"let's go to bed."

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

sending so much love to everyone who feels like they’re never chosen as the best friend, as the partner, as the favorite. sending love to all of you who have been treated and felt like second best. sending love to all of you who have felt rejected and unwanted. to all of you who have had to try really hard to fit in because you felt like you never will. 

you are so loved. you will be seen and heard by the right people. you can trust that you are valuable and not defined by other people’s perceptions of you. if someone doesn’t see your worth, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

[himitsukki]

should i be telling y’all that i only have angst fics in my drafts,,, 

i have 4 fics in my drafts that only need revisions and additional changes,,,

👀 👀 👀

[himitsukki]

i wrote an after note immediately after i wrote this piece, but i thought i was too emotional so i deleted it </333

the thing with oikawa as a character for me how much i see myself in him, and how much i wish i could be like him as well. i wish i had the fighting spirit to fight against the tide, like he does; i wish i could feel confident in myself despite the things that i lack; and i wish i could trust and connect with people the same way he does with his team. 

ordinary, mediocre, just “okay”. i feel like i’m floating on the waves of the ocean that takes me further and further away from the shore. i’m too scared to break my form and risk drowning, but i’m also too stubborn to just accept that i’m being swept away.

curse of the ordinary sucks, man. 

𝙤𝙞𝙠𝙖𝙬𝙖 𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙪 // 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙮

warnings: themes of inferiority complex, mentions of injury, i try to describe how i view oikawa in my eyes and it might be bad so i’ll place it as a warning (</3)

wc: 924

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why you’re dating your boyfriend.

for starters, he’s dating volleyball, the sport and the ball, and then you on the side. you understand, however, that volleyball is his passion and he’s grown obsessed to the idea of finally beating his rivals, the so-called “geniuses” he so desperately hates and envy at the same time.

next to your small list of problems is his very dedicated fanclub of his, seemingly increasing in number with each passing day. they’re not stupid enough to do anything that’s considered “too much”, but they are brave and diligent enough to send oikawa and you “love letters” every few days… yours is just a little bit special. 

and lastly, is time. his schedule is full for today, tomorrow, the day after, till the whole month after. the only evidences of your relationship with oikawa at this point are the random, but somehow still endearing texts you receive every few days, notably from eleven at night till five am, right when he gets up at bed, and the short conversations you hold at school grounds when he visits you during break time. 

clearly, the world is against your relationship with oikawa tooru; but sometimes, you also can’t help but remember why you’re dating your boyfriend.

“i can’t do it,” he admits after a short period of silence. you’ve recently started waiting from him to finish his practices at night not because you were angry that you haven’t spent time with him or anything, but rather because you knew of his tendencies to overwork himself, most notably being his right knee.

iwaizumi had no idea what happened, and even you don’t know when it started. you just remember asking him why he’s wearing a white brace over his right knee suddenly, and all he could tell you was “don’t worry about it” as his form of reassurance. you remember feeling like a failure because the least you could do was keep him safe. 

“why aren’t my serves improving?“ he huffs as he drops to the floor.

“why aren’t i as talented as tobio-chan?“ he shouts and places his right arm over his eyes.

“why aren’t i special?“ it breaks your heart, but you let the sound of his tears reach you before you said anything. you’re worried and slightly expecting him to misunderstand you, but your desire to help him make it understand is far greater.

“but you are spe—”

“don’t give me that pity shit,” he immediately snaps, throwing his arm to the floor in anger as he looks at you with mix of rage, resentment and disappointment.

“shut up and let me finish.” quietly and gently as you can, you step closer to him, the sound of your feet against the floors not even reaching your own ears as its buried under the loud, rapid beating of your heart. you’re nervous about everything, his reaction, your words, how he’ll take it and how you’ll make him understand.

but instead of thinking critically with your mind, you let your heart speak in hopes that it’ll reach his.

with one last exhale, you sat down.

“you may not realize it, but you have talents of your own that kageyama doesn’t have. you’re a person who the team can rely on completely. you’re a person who the team believes in and trusts. you’ve catered yourself to be the ideal setter,to be the ideal teammate that any player would dream to have beside them. 

you’re a person who, despite having the world against him, continues to fight against the tide. 

you and i both know that it’s inevitable, but one day, the tide will swallow you and pull you down to drown you. when that happens, choose to learn something from it. you can be scared and sink to the bottom, but you can also swim up to the surface, see how the world changed around you and improve yourself once more. 

i can’t say much because i haven’t been in your position, but in my eyes, you’re already done so much. you already are a person who can do so many great things, and i really mean it when i say that you are special. the universe might’ve closed its doors on you, but the people around you do not.

tooru, don’t give up, okay? don’t push yourself too hard either, but don’t forget why you’re fighting against everything in the first place. 

i’m proud of you. i’ll always be proud of you, and i’ll always support you. you’ve done well, you’ve done everything you can, and you can continue to do everything that you can. it may be difficult, but your journey always has been difficult. don’t be afraid to call out for one more, okay?”

the air is silent. your heart is loud, but you don’t hear it. the sound of his crying is there, but you don’t listen to it— instead, you focus on looking at his eyes and hoping that your words are enough to spark a light in him.

“okay.“ he sits up and hugs you tightly; the sound of a heart beating loud and hard and fast returns, but you can’t decide if it’s yours or his. oikawa then stands back up on his own, his hand rubbing his injured knee and checking if his support brace is still properly attached. 

he hastily wipes the tears from his eyes with the back of the sleeves of his team jacket, and mutters two words that light the fire from within.

“one more.“

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

pls forget that i released my oikawa drabble a few days ago and i didn’t update my m.list right after <333

most recent:  extraordinary // oikawa tooru

[𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁]

note: all are [character] x fem!reader unless stated!

[𝗸𝗲𝘆]

☾︎ himi’s favorites

✎ currently writing

angst, fluff, smut, suggestive

most recent:  extraordinary // oikawa tooru

oikawa tooru 

— sensitive | f, su

—  extraordinary | a ☾︎

kuroo tetsurou

— obsessed | f, su ☾︎

bokuto koutarou

— honesty | a ☾︎

tsukishima kei

— crescent | f ☾︎

— concatenation | f

miya atsumu

— proud | f

multiple

— nice serve! | f ✎

thirsts

#ht.spice 

[himitsukki]

i forgot i queued my oikawa drabble,, i was wondering y my notifs were high ksjksskjs

[himitsukki]

𝙤𝙞𝙠𝙖𝙬𝙖 𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙪 // 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙮

warnings: themes of inferiority complex, mentions of injury, i try to describe how i view oikawa in my eyes and it might be bad so i’ll place it as a warning (</3)

wc: 924

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why you’re dating your boyfriend.

for starters, he’s dating volleyball, the sport and the ball, and then you on the side. you understand, however, that volleyball is his passion and he’s grown obsessed to the idea of finally beating his rivals, the so-called “geniuses” he so desperately hates and envy at the same time.

next to your small list of problems is his very dedicated fanclub of his, seemingly increasing in number with each passing day. they’re not stupid enough to do anything that’s considered “too much”, but they are brave and diligent enough to send oikawa and you “love letters” every few days... yours is just a little bit special. 

and lastly, is time. his schedule is full for today, tomorrow, the day after, till the whole month after. the only evidences of your relationship with oikawa at this point are the random, but somehow still endearing texts you receive every few days, notably from eleven at night till five am, right when he gets up at bed, and the short conversations you hold at school grounds when he visits you during break time. 

clearly, the world is against your relationship with oikawa tooru; but sometimes, you also can’t help but remember why you’re dating your boyfriend.

“i can’t do it,” he admits after a short period of silence. you’ve recently started waiting from him to finish his practices at night not because you were angry that you haven’t spent time with him or anything, but rather because you knew of his tendencies to overwork himself, most notably being his right knee.

iwaizumi had no idea what happened, and even you don’t know when it started. you just remember asking him why he’s wearing a white brace over his right knee suddenly, and all he could tell you was “don’t worry about it” as his form of reassurance. you remember feeling like a failure because the least you could do was keep him safe. 

“why aren’t my serves improving?“ he huffs as he drops to the floor.

“why aren’t i as talented as tobio-chan?“ he shouts and places his right arm over his eyes.

“why aren’t i special?“ it breaks your heart, but you let the sound of his tears reach you before you said anything. you’re worried and slightly expecting him to misunderstand you, but your desire to help him make it understand is far greater.

“but you are spe—”

“don’t give me that pity shit,” he immediately snaps, throwing his arm to the floor in anger as he looks at you with mix of rage, resentment and disappointment.

“shut up and let me finish.” quietly and gently as you can, you step closer to him, the sound of your feet against the floors not even reaching your own ears as its buried under the loud, rapid beating of your heart. you’re nervous about everything, his reaction, your words, how he’ll take it and how you’ll make him understand.

but instead of thinking critically with your mind, you let your heart speak in hopes that it’ll reach his.

with one last exhale, you sat down.

“you may not realize it, but you have talents of your own that kageyama doesn’t have. you’re a person who the team can rely on completely. you’re a person who the team believes in and trusts. you’ve catered yourself to be the ideal setter,to be the ideal teammate that any player would dream to have beside them. 

you’re a person who, despite having the world against him, continues to fight against the tide. 

you and i both know that it’s inevitable, but one day, the tide will swallow you and pull you down to drown you. when that happens, choose to learn something from it. you can be scared and sink to the bottom, but you can also swim up to the surface, see how the world changed around you and improve yourself once more. 

i can’t say much because i haven’t been in your position, but in my eyes, you’re already done so much. you already are a person who can do so many great things, and i really mean it when i say that you are special. the universe might’ve closed its doors on you, but the people around you do not.

tooru, don’t give up, okay? don’t push yourself too hard either, but don’t forget why you’re fighting against everything in the first place. 

i’m proud of you. i’ll always be proud of you, and i’ll always support you. you’ve done well, you’ve done everything you can, and you can continue to do everything that you can. it may be difficult, but your journey always has been difficult. don’t be afraid to call out for one more, okay?”

the air is silent. your heart is loud, but you don’t hear it. the sound of his crying is there, but you don’t listen to it— instead, you focus on looking at his eyes and hoping that your words are enough to spark a light in him.

“okay.“ he sits up and hugs you tightly; the sound of a heart beating loud and hard and fast returns, but you can’t decide if it’s yours or his. oikawa then stands back up on his own, his hand rubbing his injured knee and checking if his support brace is still properly attached. 

he hastily wipes the tears from his eyes with the back of the sleeves of his team jacket, and mutters two words that light the fire from within.

“one more.“

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☁ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

m.list

[himitsukki]

𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙞 // 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣

warning: unedited <333 plith ignore if u see any plot holes, this has been sitting on my drafts for a couple of weeks </3

wc: 2,453

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

“hitoka-chan! someone’s looking for you.“

surprised at the news of someone looking for their shy younger manager, the team collectively move their heads to look at the gym’s sliding doors and see a female student taking off her shoes just outside of it. one of her hands rests against the doorframe bent slightly at the elbows to stabilise her body as the other picks up her shoes by the back of it.

you step into the gym with only socks on, moving quickly to bow at the team members and approach the new manager. 

in the middle of the duo’s spiking practice, hinata and kageyama both stop and turn at the sound of your voice. the familiar sound of their usual bickers and running, jumping and whatnot go mute, and slowly, the normally loud and slightly deafening volume of karasuno high school’s second gymnasium goes quiet.

“are you guys okay?“ daichi asks as he approaches the first year duo. ”why’d you two stop?“ the captain didn’t get an answer from them; instead, they continued to stare at the guest by the front portion of the gym.

“is this…“ hinata murmurs, blinking every couple of seconds, his face is unmoving and stock-still. “…my chance?“

what? chance? daichi wonders. what chance is there for—

before his mind finishes the thought, hinata dashes towards the guest, and kageyama follows suit right after, sharing the same braincell thought with his partner. they both bow deeply and introduce themselves loudly before you.

“i’m hinata shouyou!“

“kageyama tobio!“

Keep reading

[himitsukki]

nice

NICE

[himitsukki]

updated two new fics!! 

most recent:  concatenation // tsukishima kei 

[𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁]

note: all are [character] x fem!reader unless stated!

[𝗸𝗲𝘆]

✎ currently writing angst, fluff, smut, suggestive

most recent:  concatenation // tsukishima kei

oikawa tooru 

— sensitive | f, su

kuroo tetsurou

— obsessed | f, su

bokuto koutarou

— honesty | a

tsukishima kei

— crescent | f — concatenation | f

miya atsumu

— proud | f

multiple

— nice serve! | f ✎

thirsts

#ht.spice 

[himitsukki]

after notes: the high-five competition thing was kinda a thing for me and this one classmate who’s a whole feet/30cm taller than me. yes, i am very short. yes, i’ve accepted it a long time ago.

and yes, i’m accepting height donations for my tiny 5 foot/152cm ass. please, spare me a couple of inches if you’re blessed (-人-)

𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙞 // ���𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣

warning: unedited <333 plith ignore if u see any plot holes, this has been sitting on my drafts for a couple of weeks </3

wc: 2,453

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

“hitoka-chan! someone’s looking for you.“

surprised at the news of someone looking for their shy younger manager, the team collectively move their heads to look at the gym’s sliding doors and see a female student taking off her shoes just outside of it. one of her hands rests against the doorframe bent slightly at the elbows to stabilise her body as the other picks up her shoes by the back of it.

you step into the gym with only socks on, moving quickly to bow at the team members and approach the new manager. 

in the middle of the duo’s spiking practice, hinata and kageyama both stop and turn at the sound of your voice. the familiar sound of their usual bickers and running, jumping and whatnot go mute, and slowly, the normally loud and slightly deafening volume of karasuno high school’s second gymnasium goes quiet.

“are you guys okay?“ daichi asks as he approaches the first year duo. ”why’d you two stop?“ the captain didn’t get an answer from them; instead, they continued to stare at the guest by the front portion of the gym.

“is this…“ hinata murmurs, blinking every couple of seconds, his face is unmoving and stock-still. “…my chance?“

what? chance? daichi wonders. what chance is there for—

before his mind finishes the thought, hinata dashes towards the guest, and kageyama follows suit right after, sharing the same braincell thought with his partner. they both bow deeply and introduce themselves loudly before you.

“i’m hinata shouyou!“

“kageyama tobio!“

Keep reading