hladinisblog

[hladinisblog]

Kamala was seated on a swing in a park, and Ravi stretched on the grass in front of her, watching her.

It was magical to him, always watching Kamala on a full moon night. She was wearing a red cotton saree that night, her pallu casually tossed over her shoulder, accentuating her curves, her long thick braid sprawled over her breast. His eyes fell upon her toenails bearing a red nail polish which he had put on her a couple of days back. He smiled recalling how she had admired her own feet and the red-coloured toenails, placing them on his bare chest, and how she had tickled him hard as she tried to write her name with her toe over his heart. His heart was leaping with joy, even thinking of the incident.

“How much pain can you bear for me, Ravi?” She asked, interrupting his train of thoughts

Puzzled he replied, ” I don’t know. Why do ask?”

“Can you push the swing, please?” She casually asked.

Coming closer, he gave the swing a gentle push and sat watching the strands of hair brushing dreamily over her face and the end of her saree pallu waving with the breeze.

As he sat lost in admiration, when the swing came closer to him, she stretched her legs forward, pressed her feet on his chest and swung higher with a kick over his heart.

She laughed aloud seeing him tossed to the ground

He sat up smiling, and kept stroking his chest.

“Come on, sit tall! I need another thrust!” she demanded cheerfully.

He readily knelt before her, waiting for the strike.

She kicked his chest hard and giggled again watching him squirm in pain.

With every swing she kicked him harder, her toes drilling over his heart each time. He was gasping and sweating but quickly gathered himself and sat with his chest up and hands over his head, bracing for more.

She kicked him with a loud thud as the balls of her feet pounded his chest hard. He clasped his chest, moaning in pain

“That’s all?” she challenged, with a chuckle watching him massage his chest hard.

He sat up taller and welcomed her with open arms.

She kicked over his heart again with all her strength. He shuddered but sat tight. More violent kicks came piercing to his heart. She watched him tremble with pain, at each kick. She stopped the swing and kicked his chest hard until he fell to the ground, gripping his chest, coughing and breathing heavily. She continued to swing while watching him. Mustering all his strength, he dragged himself again and sat up tall on his knees before her. He couldn’t control his tears this time when he saw her eyes. She jumped out of the swing and ran to him.

She rubbed his chest, saying,” I am sorry. Is it too painful? Let’s go to the doctor,” she said, pressing over his heart with one hand and wiping the sweat on his face with the end of her pallu.

” I can take even more. Why did you stop? Go back to the swing,” he said as he rose to his feet and led her back to the swing.

“ Oh, I know that. I couldn’t take it anymore,” she said, and broke down into tears, holding him tight by his shirt.

“Kamal, don’t cry. I am ok. It didn’t hurt at all,” he said pressing her hand to his chest.

“Liar, “she said, wiping her tears in vain, trying to gather herself.

“ No seriously. Let’s go back. I can prove it.” He tried to lighten the moment

“ I never thought I would make you shed tears in pain. My heart must have been made of stone.” She said locking eyes with him.

He held her tight to his chest and said,” I didn’t cry out of pain from the kick. I cried because you kicked in a manner it should hurt me more. That hurt, Kamal”, he said pressing her cheek over his heart.

Burying her face in his chest, she began to sob profusely.

“Kamal, I am sorry. I know I was wrong. You must just have taken liberties with me, that’s all. That’s fine. You have all the right to that. I am a fool. I mistook you. Look at me, please,” he pleaded as he cupped her face in his palms.

She shook her head fiercely and said, “ You were right! ”

“ I wanted it to hurt you a lot. So much that you would hate me.”

He was still holding her tight in his arms. Her hands pressed over his chest, she could feel him breathe heavily, his heart thudding aloud.

“ Ravi, I am about to tell you something that will hurt you even more. I don’t know how I can prepare you for that, “she warned.

His eyes turned serious. He looked at her anxiously.

“ My marriage has been fixed. My engagement will be next week.”

Like a thunderbolt had struck him, he let go of her.

She let out a wail at that and began to sob uncontrollably.

“Why are you crying, Kamal? “ he softly asked, his face red with emotions.

“I know this will kill you“, she muttered

“What about you? It wouldn’t kill you?” he asked.

“I have made up my mind. So, I will live with my decision. I cannot marry anyone against my parents’ wish. I know they will not agree to get us married. Our families are very different. It’s not practical, Ravi. It’s not even about my parents to be honest. You and I are very different. You can sleep under the sky, you can enjoy a bus ride on a footboard. You can live on the same T-shirt for a week. Live in a shed for life. I am very different. I don’t want to change you one bit. Nor can I. This! Whatever we had between us was pure, was honest and heartfelt. This was like a dream. Your love and your expansive heart felt like heaven to me. I don’t want our families to ever meet and kill this. I will never show you to anyone, “ she said, battling her tears “We can’t stretch our fantasies beyond this. We will have to end this, Ravi. Bury each other in our hearts!”

He stood like a stone taking in every word of hers.

“Will you forgive me?” She asked.

He looked at her long and hard.

“Can I change anything, Kamal? Shall I fall at your feet and beg you? Will it change? I will take a dip in all the holy rivers and come back. Will you consider me clean enough? Will I have a chance then, to at least stand before your father? Or you tell me what I should do now. You have decided everything so far. Tell me what you had in mind about my future. Let me hear that too. Or should I assume that you imagined I would be dead by now.” He choked with tears at that.

“I wish you had kicked me harder, Kamal. You could have crushed me like an insect under your foot. I wish I had fallen dead right near that swing. I would have never heard all this.”

She thrust herself on him, tore open the buttons of his shirt and hugged him tight, digging into his chest as much as she could. She kissed his bare chest, wiping away his sweat with her saree as she hugged him from all sides. Resting her chin over his heart, she looked up at him and said, “ You are the purest I know. I want you to be that way always. My world will not suit you. It will hurt you a lot, mock at you, try to change you and then kill you. I cannot see that happen. “

As he gently wiped the tears off her eyes, she softly implored, “ You will have to bear this pain for me, please! All your life. Will you do it for me?”

He gently nodded with a pat on her cheeks, her pleading eyes were more than he could bear. He breathed so heavily as if his heart was about to explode.

She hugged him again so tight, hoping she could pierce through his chest and go within, pressing her face hard over his heart. He shook with tears. They cried their hearts out like babies in each other’s arms.

She never saw him after that night. He vanished from her life like a dream!

She had traveled around the world, over the years that followed, had many rides on flights, yachts and Mercedes, but not one to match the warmth she felt on those footboard rides on crowded buses, leaning, thrusting her entire weight on his chest, trusting him with her life. His memories gave her warmth.

Anything vast spread before her eyes, the sky, the sea, the mountains or a huge tree, they reminded her of Ravi, his pure, expansive heart! She smiled with tears every time she saw a bird fly high. It was her Ravi, she thought! Set free!

[hladinisblog]

Surrendered ❤️

You gently cupped my breasts in your palms

I quivered , a spring of ecstasy, rising within

I was gasping, moaning and swooning with love

When you took your hands away, with a pluck on my nipples

I dropped to the ground, powerless and dazed

I held your leg tight to my bosom and looked up at you

You smiled at me and kicked me to the ground

I lay before you in surrender, just how you had tossed me, shedding all claims to my body

Begging within my heart to make me all yours!

You watched me breathe your eyes fixed on my breasts moving up and down like gentle waves

You placed your foot over my chest

As if to stamp your name on my heart

I clasped your foot and cried “ My Master, my love, this heart is yours.” My heart beating hard beneath your strong foot.

With no glance to spare at this meekly soul, you tiptoed on my breasts as you walked away.

Oh my love, my dearest what have you done to my heart?

My heart has never been so tender

so full of love and thumping aloud

I can barely hold it within my chest.

Don’t cast me away, this heart beating for you.

Wasn’t this slave born to serve?

Tell me, what can I do for you?

I can carry you in my arms, on my shoulders

Walk you through the thorniest trails

With your feet in my palms, one step at a time

Is there anything that I cannot do for you?

I have learnt to smile through every pain

Even when you starve me of your love

For every nail you drive into my heart, my precious

I shall, in return, bathe your feet with petals of rose.

Call me “Your slave” loud enough for the world to hear

I shall print it in gold and bear it on my chest.

Rest your feet over my heart, again, my Lord

My breasts were made soft only for a cause

To soothe the soles of your feet, your toes and heels,

Walk all over them, trample and crush them to bits

Watch me tremble in pain, bleed and battle for breath

My heart would still cling on to your feet - my shrine, my solace

Wear me as your armour, wherever you may go

So no blow, bullet or sword can get past my chest to yours

Let my heart bear all the pain there is in the world

So no harm can touch even the tip of your toe

Oh ! My love , my heart , my master !

You have set my heart so free in love

I beg, take my all, my Lord - my breath, heart, body and soul!

Tell me what I can do for you!

[hladinisblog]

Divya woke up to something pricking on her chest

She ran her hand over her bosom

It was her husband”s ring. She figured

He was fast asleep, his head resting over her heart, his leg thrown over her stomach

His one hand slipped under her t shirt, his palm placed over her right breast, clasping her nipple between his ring finger and middle finger.

The ring pressing hard on her sore nipple. She took a deep breath looking at the ceiling.

Events of the past evening flashed before her eyes. How she was brutally abused, humiliated and almost thrown out of the house. Her chest and stomach still sore and her hands numb.

Her husband, Suraj was an aspiring film director , extremely talented and focussed at his work to the extent that he distanced himself from even his parents as they posed a hindrance to his goal.

He was working on the final aspects of a script. He could go round the clock no food or sleep on this creator mode. Divya was the breadwinner of the family. As she returned home after a long day’s work she noticed the pile of vessels in the sink left unwashed.

“Didn’t Meena come for work today? “ She asked, referring to their maid.

There was no response as Suraj was engrossed in the script

“Suraj, I am asking you” she said, raising her voice

At that he wildly advanced towards her, clasping her neck in his hand, rammed her on the wall behind, saying “Will you not stay quiet and let me work?” “No sound !” he said through his clenched teeth, and let her go when she began to cough profusely

“Meena will not come anymore”, he declared as he walked back

“Why ?” She asked

“You are asking too many questions today, my slave, “ he murmured as he returned to his work.

“Just go remove your clothes and bring me dinner,” he ordered without looking at her and added

“I told Meena that she need not come to work anymore. So you have been promoted as the full-time maid of this house, my dear Slave“

“Who will go for work then? Will you go ?” She dared to question him!

When he pounced on her again, beat her up violently saying” Don’t throw this attitude at me” and punched her hard on her stomach when she dropped to the ground crouching in pain. He kicked her chest hard until she fell flat on the ground when he stood upright on her breasts crushing them to the ground as he said” You should never open your mouth again! Have I made myself clear“

She trembling and gasping in pain holding his feet.

“ Amma ”, she cried aloud clutching her chest, as he stepped down. Like it were her final cry!

”Any more sound from you, I will just drag and throw you out of the house! “ he threatened and stormed into his room and banged his door shut. This was the man in his artist zone.

She twisted and turned and rolled herself on the ground, bracing her chest and stomach, crying her heart out in pain. Gathering some strength she slowly rose to her feet dragged herself to their bedroom, her whole body quivering out of pain.

This was the same man now coiled like a child clinging to her bosom. This was the man she had fallen in love with. He captured her heart with all his stormy acts of love, those breathtaking moments still fresh in her mind. He was her heartthrob then. Now a heart full, she thought with a deep sigh, looking at him occupying all of her chest. His one arm ready to grope her breast as and when he felt like. She was his addiction.

Married for five years now against her parents’ wishes, how much she has endured through the years. She has treated him like a King all through while he had exploited her body and heart to suit all his whims. She was the only earning member of the family and she had to run the house as well, cook three meals a day. She would have to serve him food, however late she came from work and if he was busy with a script she would even feed him. Most lovingly. She would rush home each evening anxious that he would be hungry. He has never once asked if she had eaten. It was never like him to show the least bit of concern for her.

She did most of the household chores as well. He never wanted a maid in the first place and it was with Divya’s persuasion that they had one on week days. Weekends Divya did all the chores. He would order around and watch her clean the house.

He would go all out to fulfil his sexual needs and fantasies. He would fiercely grope her breasts when she was in the middle of cooking or on a work call, loudly calling her a slave. He would kick her breasts or slap them to pulp while she was sweeping the floor beneath his leg or stretching herself to clean the fans. He meticulously documented in his mind her reactions, her emotions as he could perceive. She was just a lab animal for him at times.

She was his footrest as he enjoyed his weekend movies with a popcorn bowl in his hand that she would make for him. She would lie beneath him on the floor with her legs up in right angle mounted on the sofa, looking up at him. While he would be plonked on the sofa, with his legs on her breasts, teasing and trampling them to his heart’s content. He would stomp her chest hard and ask for a refill. She would dutifully run back to the kitchen clutching her chest and fetch it for him .

She was in total acceptance of this life of hers. She let him go as far as he wanted even if it was way more than she could endure. She cried and trembled in pain when he brutally hurt even fought to resist. Though she kept lowering the bar for him and removed all boundaries so much that she was merely a doll in his hands. She sincerely believed that her body was meant for his pleasure only. That she was born to serve him in every way she can and he wanted. It was growing tougher by the day. The blows were only getting harder. He used every little chance to brutally punish her both at home and in public. She still let him use and abuse her without resisting. She learnt to live and breathe every moment with an aching chest.

Her pain was absolutely personal to her. Although she was still to answer her close friends for the marks he had left on her face and that she never cared to hide. She mostly chose not to let anyone invade that space for her to share how betrayed she felt. She had only two options- to leave him and suffer the pain of separation or to stay on and suffer the humiliation.

She always chose the latter even when she was reeling under pain, for she knew her heart was all his always. She could not hold even a bit of resentment towards him. She only prayed for strength to accept her fate that she was born to love him as much as he was born hurt her. She knew that someday she may even succumb to his torture. So be it, she told herself, no one gets out alive anyway!

Her journey was a penance of a kind as she with time trained her mind to neither seek pleasure nor suffer pain out of this relationship. She was ready for the worst, she used every bit of her strength to have a strong leash on her senses. She was getting better at this each day.

As for him his married life was the wildest adventure he ever dreamt of and she was his obedient slave in all his experiments with human emotions and expressions of joy and pain. He knew she would withstand all the pain he put her through of physical and emotional abuse and will still beg to take him on her chest every night.

True, she loved him so deeply that she could transcend the realm of all her physical and emotional travails. Even when her breasts were so brutally tortured and she was trembling in pain with the touch of the softest cloth she tried to wrap around with, she wouldn’t hesitate to take all of his weight on her chest.

He would mercilessly plonk himself on her, look into her eyes, wanting to see her meekly quiver in pain and beg for mercy. He has watched her through this journey from the days she complied to his whims out of fear and pleaded with innocence. Lot had changed over the years, he could sense. He realised he could now shred her body to pieces but emotionally she was unbreakable!

The innocence and fear in her eyes that had turned him on the most was now lost.

This was what he witnessed these days as he thrust himself over her every night, trying his best to make it harder for her each day!

Her hands raised above and gripping the headboard of their bed, her eyes moist but shimmering with courage, her breath heavy like she was bracing to perform the most powerful feat in the world, she would patiently wait for him to land and settle on her chest.

She looked every bit like a woman in labour, braving all the pain to welcome her child.

What labour and love it would take of a woman, to welcome with open arms a beast every night, for him to ravage and rest on her battered breasts!

His eyes broke into tears as he wrote those lines on his script, that night after the violent showdown.

He couldn’t wait to nestle into the comfort of her bosom again that night. It was his home, his safe place always. His only refuge. For the first time he was so anxious to get near her. As he quietly opened the door, he saw she was fast asleep, her hands gently perched on her breasts.

He turned off the lights and crawled into the bed. He slowly moved her hand away from her chest and gently rested his ear over her heart. He could hear her heartbeat loud and clear.

He kissed her breast, her nipple and gently stroked her chest. He looked at her face, so serene and watched her breast move up and down against his palm with every breath. He wanted to wake her up and cry in her arms. He dropped his face with a thud on her tender breast, pressing his ears hard against her chest. She didn’t wince or move a bit. The sound of her heartbeat was all that he wanted that night.

Placing his palm over her other breast as he usually did, he dozed off, as peacefully as a newborn on a mother’s chest!

[hladinisblog]

“How could you ? How dare you?

Throw away in a moment all memories we made together over these years?

How could you tell that there was nothing between us!

You are my everything ! You have always been

I have given myself to you, my body, heart and soul so long ago

What if you cannot take me as your wife?

It doesn’t mean I am not yours!

I will write in every wall around the world

That I am yours and yours only

I will wear a badge, have it embossed on my chest

That says in bold that I belong to you

That you are my breath, my heart, my soul !

Didn’t you know?

The seeds of love you sowed in my heart have grown so deep

You have to uproot my heart in all if you want to take back your love!

How could you hate me now? Kick me away like this?

It hurts. It hurts a lot “ she said pressing her chest hard.

Wiping her tears she went on.

“ It’s ok if you cannot love me anymore

My love would do!

I can give you more than two hearts-full!

You are the only one who owns my heart

I need no marriage to prove that.

I will write your name all over my body for people to see

I will go door to door declaring “My heart is all yours and yours only”

Let them call me mad!

Let them tie me up, nail me to death

Atleast death will come faster that way

You have already driven a nail right into my heart,

crushed my heart under you foot.

You have no idea how much my heart bleeds

Never mind, don’t you worry I will bear it.

In every broken piece of my heart I will only see you.

Let my heart ache for you always as long as it beats.

I will cherish our intimacy in all that

In my bleeding heart, in my every breath even as I choke with all the love for you that I can no more express.

Yes, I am mad about you!

It’s not your fault but I have gone too far with it.

I have lived a life with you in my dreams

It was so real to me !” She sighed

“Waking up, nestled on your chest, day in and day out

Our daily fights, our daily routine

Our children,four of them, two sets of twins two years apart

Mewling and crying , lying and crawling all around us

All of them kicking my breasts and feeding on my milk

I have borne you all in my heart for way too long

I have to die to bring it all to ashes!

You don’t have to tie a knot around my neck

I will tie myself to you feet or to your car

Let it drag me along with you until I am dead!

Will you cry for me when I am dead?

Will your heart not melt a bit ?

I am begging you like no woman would have done

I am praying to you with all my heart

Can’t you protect me like God?

Give refuge to this aching heart.

No, I don’t ask for a place in your heart

Just give me a place at your feet, beneath it

Like your slipper, like dust

I don’t know of a world beyond you

Take me with you please

I will just need a small corner in your house

Like a broom or an old rag

you won’t even know I exist

I will wash vessels at your house and live on your leftovers

I will serve you and your wife to be for the rest of my life

Wash all your clothes , sweep and clean your house, run errands, do anything your wife commands

She can spare some of her used and torn clothes for me

I will be as faithful as a dog and ask for no more

I will be just her maid for life

I will tend to all your children,

I will hold you all in my heart and guard you with my life

Don’t cast me away now, please

Bear with me for sometime

I will die anyway

You can cast me away then

I need no pyre or fire to be placed on my chest then

For you have done that already!

This mad wife has been long dead!” She said patting her chest.

“Only her love remains now and always.”

“ Even if you may have chosen to kick her away” she said choking.

With a deep sigh of relief she stood staring long and hard at the man who had caused her all this pain. Her eyes still brimming with love.

Her heart felt so light now that she could even smile at him peering into his tear-smeared eyes.

“ Don’t worry about me. I will be fine.” She assured with poise.

“I will protect you and all that is yours. Wherever I may be. Like God!” She shouted as she ran to board the train.

And there with another wave at him, she was gone!

[hladinisblog]

She saw him stretched on their couch his legs spread across the couch and busy on a call. She perched herself at the other end of the sofa, his legs automatically making way for her. She sunk into the couch with a book in hand his voice droning on loud on the call. A few minutes passed by when his feet casually landed on her breasts, one after the other. It was very unusual of him to take such liberties. She was intrigued, intimidated but quietly accommodated, a strange sensation taking over. She could no longer focus on the book, though. His feet, pink and impeccably clean, staring at her so close to her face, took all her attention.

They were quite heavy to bear making her more conscious of her chest gently pressing against his feet, closer with every breath. She kept watching his feet dreamily. She felt a strong urge to caress them but resisted. She was indeed too proud for that! With every breath, her heart was growing tender. She stroked his feet as softly as she could hoping he would never notice.

He was too engrossed in the call, perhaps oblivious to her presence, she thought. Moments passed, the call was still on and he slid further down comfortably on the couch his knees bent and the soles of his feet now fully pressing on her chest.

She choked with pleasure every time he gently trampled her breasts. He laughed in between while rubbing hard on her tender breasts. When the topic on the phone call got heated he was pressing her chest down with full force and even kicked her hard with his leg perched over her heart. She lay as still as she could, taking it all. She had never felt anything like this before! Her heart convulsed with pain and pleasure peaking in tandem. It was exhilarating and humbling at the same time.

Was it a mere sensation or a deep emotion, she couldn’t tell. She only knew how powerless she felt. She was nothing now. Just a heap of soft flesh under the feet of a man! Being kicked and trampled like a lifeless object. Strangely, she wasn’t revolting or even resisting it.

On the contrary, she was relishing every bit of it to the point of hoping this would go on. A little longer, her heart yearned. There was only one gnawing thought that troubled her. How would he react once the call got over? Or how should she? She didn’t care to pursue the thought. She merely shut her eyes enjoying the pressure, pain and kicks on her breasts as they lasted.

The call ended! Too soon, she thought! She tried to compose herself, reigning in her racing emotions. To her surprise, he stretched himself more comfortably, throwing all his weight, mercilessly trampling her breasts now. She gripped his feet almost involuntarily, her eyes tightly shut. He didn’t care to stop. He was mindlessly meddling with his phone while rocking his legs and churning her heart.

It felt like heaven even when her breasts were too sore under the weight of his strong legs.

She wanted more of this. Wanted him to be more brutal. Wanted her breasts crushed until they turned numb. He didn’t disappoint her at all. As he mercilessly crushed her nipples under his heels. She was biting her lips and breathing heavily. She still didn’t want it to end. She couldn’t fully understand what she felt then.

Vulnerable, weak and shameless, she was letting him dig deep into her chest, unmindful of the pain she was enduring. Her breasts were too sore now. She wanted to beg him to stop. She didn’t have the heart to stop him, though. Yes, she still wanted more! She looked at his feet again, yearningly!

She had lost all her pride and dignity to the mere dust of his feet, she realised. She felt a complete change in her identity. What was she now?

Alas, the doorbell rang! She lifted her head up with a jolt his legs still sprawled over her chest.

He shot a look at her and tapping his toes on her chest, said, “ Piece of rag! Can you go get the door?” without caring to even move his legs.

She obeyed him instantly, wriggling herself from beneath his legs and running to the door. It was the courier guy. She came back to him and handed a parcel addressed to him. He signalled for her to leave it aside and said, “Sit down!” pointing towards his feet.

She sat at the edge of the couch. He withdrew his legs.

She felt her breasts burning in pain. She couldn’t resist the urge to touch them. She gently ran her palms over her breasts, taking deep breaths.

She noticed he was looking at her. She had nothing to hide from him, anyway.

She was in absolute acceptance of all her feelings.

She held her breasts in her hands, still revelling in the past moments, the weight of his words slowly sinking in.

Yes, that’s what she was, she thought.

Just a piece of rag kicked, trampled upon and humiliated by her Master!

His words didn’t hurt her one bit. It was quite liberating.

It was the crowning moment of the sweetest pain she had ever experienced!

[hladinisblog]

Just married. It was only 3 days after our first vacation- a temple visit and only a fortnight since our marriage. Shyam returned to work after his long marriage leave. Oops.. No.. Never.. I don’t call him by his name. I revere him as much as I love him. Wait, but love is a very insufficient word to express what I feel for him. My heart flutters just thinking of him. What does that mean? I have known him only for a few months now. Only since our engagement. I have not had the chance to meet him in person before that. It was an arranged marriage, entirely our parents’ decision. Today, I am here in his house along with his parents and grandmother. I revere them all, indeed. I love to cook for them, serve them, and am always eager to be of any service to them. They are kind to me as well and very loving. More than anything, they appreciate everything that I cook. My thoughts are always though with Him. My Shyam.. Whether he was beside me or away at work, I couldn’t drive him from my mind. I hardly spoke to him though. I was still very shy. I would hide in the company of his Amma or Patti, until I had to resign to the bedroom in the night. I can’t tell you, how fast my heart was beating every time I was by his side. When he smiled at me, I would just melt into a puddle of tears. I kept staring at him when he wasn’t looking at me. Every morning, as he got ready to leave for work, my stomach cuddled wild. For it was too hard to face him when he took leave of me. I know I will meet him again in a few hours, but I cannot tell you how much my heart ached for him in those few hours. He sure had no idea what I went through everyday. Thankfully! He might have dismissed my emotions as silly, and immature. I didn’t care. I poured my heart out in all that I cooked for him. I loved to see him devour the preparations. I loved to pack his lunch and waited all day to find out if he liked it. He never cared to tell me mostly. I never dared to ask. I missed him more as the day progressed. I distracted myself with all the household chores. I cleaned the house. I washed his clothes, his shirt, trousers and undergarments with my bare hands. I couldn’t cast them away in a washing machine! I folded them with care, ironing every crease out to perfection. He noticed nothing, though. He was loving, no doubt. More than my heart could take but he never knew how much I bore him in my heart. My heart was oscillating so much between joy and pain every day. I needed a let-out perhaps. I did strange things, I wore his used shirt before I soaked it to wash. I held his vest to my chest at times to soothe my aching heart. I melted to tears just thinking of him. Hunger and sleep were never a part of my day much to the worry of my in-laws. His Amma mostly forced me to eat each day. I cleaned his shoes every day and held them to my chest when no one was watching me.

I would run around like a puppy when he was home, serving him with one thing or the other. He looked at me with kindness always. He cuddled me each night and soon dozed off, while I lay awake, in excitement and always alert to not be of any discomfort to him. I wanted him to have all the space and all the comforts of a King. I watched him sleep with a soft snore each night. I wanted to give him my all. I didn’t know what that meant. I watched his serene face and his feet peeping out of the blanket. Would his legs be hurting? I wondered. I wanted to massage his feet every night. I was scared though to disturb him. I wanted to put on his shoes for him and take them off every day. I was scared that he would find me a nuisance. I carried his laptop bag and lunch bag to the car every day and carried them back in the evening when he was home. I would run to the gate at the first honk of his car. I would open the door for him and take his bags even if he resisted. It was never enough for me. I had a lot more emotions surging that only left my heart either fluttering in ecstasy or aching too much. “Shyam, Shyam,” I would utter to myself, as I held his soiled socks to my chest. This was the story of my married life until this night.

He smiled at me as I entered the room. I froze, as always. I tried to get busy with something but he called me to come and sit next to him. “Hladini, are you happy?” he asked, out of the blue. I usually turn deaf and numb every time he utters my name. I froze again this time. “Hladini”, he called again. My eyes were already damp. The fool I was! I wasn’t used to so much attention from him. “ Hmm” I meekly murmured.

“ Are Amma and Appa treating you well? Meaning, are they loving enough?” I nodded hurriedly but was too scared why he was asking me all this. “ Do you miss home ? Your home?” he asked with concern. I hesitantly shook my head now my eyes slowly welling up. “Why are you crying, Hladini? Did someone upset you? Did I hurt you?“ I wiped my eyes dry and firmly shook my head saying “ No, no. Not at all.“

“ You can tell me whatever it is that is troubling you. Are you not well or something? Amma said you weren’t eating properly. Please tell me if anything is bothering you. It’s very important to me, Hladini, that you are happy. Always.” he said, sweetly smiling, driving my heart mad. “ We have to freely share our feelings with each other, isn’t it?” he asked as she nodded, looking down. He lifted my chin and, with a pleading look at me, softly said,” Don’t hide anything from me, please.”

My heart could take no more of his sweetness. With a leap of courage, I looked right into his eyes and said, “ I want to massage your feet every night. I want to place your feet on my chest..” I uttered with more courage. I want to worship you, my Shyam, I breathed to myself, my eyes raining down tears uncontrollably.

He looked at me puzzled and quickly checking his expressions, he confidently said, “ Go ahead! What are you waiting for?“ and stretched his legs comfortably.

She jumped out of the bed, happy as a little deer, biting her lips to trifle her excitement. She was beaming with joy. She rushed to turn off the lights and slowly snuggled under his feet. Her heart was racing wild. She covered him with a blanket, making sure he was fully wrapped. She unbuttoned her blouse, placed his feet on her naked breasts, and gently kept stroking them. He hardly moved. She worried if he was comfortable. Her heart leapt with joy when she heard the first murmur of his snore. She kept stroking, still awake, not wanting to waste a minute of these precious moments. He was fast asleep while she lay still as a log. Not taking any more space than a pillow at his feet with not the minutest movement! She only cursed her chest, moving up and down as she breathed and prayed she wouldn’t disturb him.

Way past midnight, wanting to shift sides, he moved while accidentally kicking her breast. She was ecstatic! He kicked again. He must have mistaken it to be his soft pillow. He kicked her breasts many times. Finally, her heart fell at ease. His feet casually perched on her breasts, and kicking her to his suit his comfort, could she ask for more! She dozed off without her knowledge.

It was the longest she had slept in a very long time until she woke up to a gentle patting on her breast. She woke up with a start and gawped as she saw him looking at her with a naughty smile.

She was confused, fidgeting, guilty of having overslept. He kicked again defiantly, a little harder, saying, “Do I have to wake you up like this hereafter?” he asked, leaning on the headboard, his arms casually folded behind his head.“

She fondly hugged his feet, pressing them tight over her heart. Looking up at him, she said, “Kick harder, please, if I wake up this late!” She kissed his feet passionately and flashed a wide beautiful smile at him. He had never seen this smile of hers before. She slowly let go of his feet heaving a deep sigh of relief while he sat still watching her, mesmerised!

[hladinisblog]

I woke up with her feet on my chest. I gently stroked them one after the other, kissed them fondly and when I stopped she pressed one foot on my chest hard and violently kicked over my heart with the other.

I moaned with pain while still stroking her foot stomping over my heart.

More violent kicks followed while I was begging for her mercy, kissing her feet, tormenting my chest.

She placed her foot on my mouth, I licked it passionately devouring its sweetness.

She laughed and then with a leap she jumped over my stomach resting her palms on my chest pressing them with all her weight, the thick locks of her hair brushing across my face. 

I could barely breathe but I smiled at her involuntarily and whispered her name .

She punched my chest, pounded my heart repeatedly with all her might until I began to cough hard.

Pressing her hands on my ribs she squatted her way to my chest in one stroke and looked into my eyes as I quivered in pain.

She slaped my cheeks, pulled my beard with both her hands, casually squatting with all her weight on my chest. 

She moved her feet closer to each other to squatted over my heart while resting an arm on my chest. She rocked herself front and back humming a tune in her sweet voice. I was choking to death, my eyes wearily looking at her. She stretched one leg over my face resting her entire weight on the leg pressing over my heart. 

She then craftily shifted her legs behind and held a plank, her hands firmly gripping my chest followed by a few push-ups, her lips gently rubbing against mine, teasing my mind out of my gruelling chest pain. I devoured her beautiful eyes as much as I could for I knew I would be dead any moment. She then plunged into a squat again her feet together right over my heart and then defiantly stood tall on my chest while I was gasping hard my whole body reverberating with pain. 

She began to jog on my chest and then jumped high giggling in joy like I was her trampoline!

No mercy, only excruciating pain but I still guarded her feet with my arms lest she slipped and fell. For that is what my heart cannot take. I choked with pain my heart thudding loud .

Parched with pain I lay watching her joy-filled face until with one kick she pushed me out of the bed.

I fell face down. 

“Turn!”she ordered. 

I struggled and turned around to take her back on my chest . 

She jumped on my chest and I cried aloud in pain holding her feet. I was unable to stop my tears. She took a few moments to browse her phone seated on the edge of the bed her feet placed on my chest.

Now I am her footrest. She-my heart! My heart - her footrest!

She pressed my chest with her feet while leaning on the edge of the bed thrusting her weight on my chest. I stayed firm gripping my back to the ground holding her entire weight over my heart. 

Out of breath and holding back my coughs, my heart was beating aloud in my ears. She threw her phone away and began to stomp hard over my heart and ordered, “Stop gasping.  I need to work out my legs” 

I tried but failed and she kicked me harder close to 20 kicks  with each leg. She then squatted with her feet over my heart again and slapped me hard.

She pulled up the wet hair on my chest between her toes. Not satiated, she pulled the hair on my chest violently between her fingers with a smile watching me suffer. She scratched my chest with her nails and the claws of her silver hair clip. 

She plucked my nipples between the claws of her hair clip and pulled them up until I began to bleed. She licked the blood. By then my heart felt so heavy with pain like a huge rough rock was tied to it and grinding on it. 

“My dear, my love, I am dying” I pleaded. Pressing her fists on my chest she rose again and stood on her toes like a ballerina her toes drilling into my nipples.

I clenched my teeth and fists, craning my neck up.

She placed a foot on my neck and choked me.

Battling for breath, I looked at her almost giving up. She pressed hard one more time. I shut my eyes not being able to leave them open anymore. 

She slowly moved her leg back to my chest and took a walk all over me, my face, chest, stomach, groin and my thighs. I was shaking and breathless in pain 

“Why can’t you just stop breathing" she yelled with a foot over my heart and I meekly shook my head tearing up. 

Upset she stepped down from my chest to wear her slippers. With one wild kick on my chest with the hard end of her slippers she walked away  saying “Get lost”

I just lay there like a log swooning with pain my hands over my chest soiled with blood and sweat . 

“Don’t be upset my precious”, I begged.

Unable to rise, I crawled and dragged myself to her side, clutching my chest.

I lay close to her feet and licked it still gripping my chest and looking up at her. She looked at me with mercy for once . I swiftly turned on my back and tried to wipe the sweat off my chest clean for her to step on.

She kicked my hand off my chest and brutally stomped over my heart with anger her gaze turned away from me. 

I pleaded with pain holding her feet and begging her to look at me . 

“My love, my chest is all yours, take it, use it, tear it open, crush it under your feet, my heart..don’t turn away from me”, i begged. 

“I can die for you again and again in every birth but I cannot see you upset, my dear, even a bit.”

She signalled for me to lie beneath the kitchen counter.

I hastened to obey.

She stepped on my chest and stood on it while boiling the milk. 

“Ahhhh” I moaned.

She twisted and turned trampling my chest to the ground.

She casually kicked my nipple, pierced my other nipple with the heel of her slipper. She alternated between the heels of her slippers and toes while standing on both my nipples. 

Even the throbbing pain felt like heaven watching her play on my chest. My heart still revelled in love. She is my heart! I told myself.

She then stood on her toes raising her heels to reach for the sugar container from the top rack while digging deep into my chest.

My heart throbbed with pain. It felt like the last moments of my life.

I bore her with all my heart, one breath at a time . My heart, she was indeed!

She walked down my chest and out of the kitchen with her coffee in hand leaving her slippers on my chest like they were my solace.

I crouched in pain gripping my chest hard and hugging her slippers dear to my chest. “My heart , my dear", I meekly moaned.

“Bring my slippers”, she ordered

I gathered myself quickly, rose to my feet and rushed to her, still clasping her heels tight to my chest.

She was seated on a sofa, her leg crossed over the other.

I knelt in front of her holding out her slippers.

She sipped her coffee while taking a look at me.

Her eyes fell upon his  baren chest, full of sweat and red in pain, having marks of her feet and her slippers. She sported an accomplished smile while he massaged his aching chest with the back of her slippers.

It was a sight she always loved. His pain, him gripping his chest squirming in pain and sweat trickling down his battered chest.

She placed the tip of her toe on my chest. I moved closer to her my hands behind my neck. She ran her toe all over my chest. I moaned, my body shaking. She rested her toe right over my heart staring into my eyes.

“My dear. My heart, ” I whispered my heart about to burst with love I could hold no more.

As I slowly brought my hands down to hold her feet, she kicked over my heart. I struggled to balance when she kicked again. I gripped the floor so I wouldn't let down her feet, taking every kick. She laughed and kicked more violently watching my eyes tear up in pain.

“I love you”, I whispered. “You are my heart”,  I said  

She calmed down a bit and placed both her feet on my chest like she was blessing me. 

My goddess.

She signalled at the slippers on the floor.

I slowly placed them beneath her feet, still gracing my chest.

“Forever your footrest”, I said as she playfully tapped her foot over my heart.

“My heartbeat, my life, this heart cannot hold within the love for you. It aches, my love. Please tie it to your feet. Scoop my heart out of my chest and wear it as your slippers, please! “

“My dear,  my dearest, can you feel my love?”I asked pressing her feet on my chest.

She stretched her legs and yawned as I arched backwards to accommodate her feet. She teased my nipples again with the tip of her high heels while I was helpless in surrender. She kicked me to the ground and jumped on to my chest with her heels digging deep. He was in tears and his body was red with blood and sweat.

With one brutal kick she walked away.

My heart was  pounding aloud my pain radiating like my chest would explode any moment 

It was a pain I had borne for years, day in and day out quite happily. My wealth,  house were all hers always, I  worked overtime to fulfill all her needs. I almost died every night to please her whims. I was always ready to die any moment though, at her feet with the peace that she will be safe and secure even after me. 

He never asked for her love. He knew that to her he was just her slave/ another slipper He was happy being that.

“I want to go shopping” she  announced

“I am coming” I yelped slowly swivelling up to my feet.

I put on a shirt and took the car keys.

She walked to the car and unbuttoned my shirt saying “No shirt”.

I waited for her to unbutton and then quickly wriggled out of my shirt. As I drove she wrote slave in red across my chest with her lipstick. I felt her smooth fingers run over my chest as she wrote. I was breathing heavily. 

She slapped his chest and watched it turn more red.  She could see her fingerprints, her foot marks, blood and sweat smeared all over his chest.  She slapped again and pounded his heart.

“My heart is aching my dear” he said as he steered with his right hand his left hand gently stroking her head while she violently kept pounding over his heart all through the drive. He uttered her name with every breath with every pounding he got. “Oh my heart, please have mercy, he begged. She kicked him fiercely with her elbow , he almost choked to death, his eyed bluriring in pain.

They reached the supermarket. He parked the car and took a deep breath running his hand over his chest still gasping from the deadly blows.

She slapped his cheek saying,  “No touching your chest. Let it hurt until you can breathe no more!”

He obeyed and rushed to open the door for her. “Carry me on your shoulders” she demanded . 

He knelt before her, his hand over his heart in servitude and she climbed up on his shoulders.

He walked into the mall, she kept kicking her feet on his chest all through, running her finger over the words on his chest and pounding his chest with pride. He kissed her fingers while she slapped his cheeks. She pounded his chest and he coughed. Everyone were gaping at them shocked. He bought everything she pointed at and carried more than he could hold.

Her weight on his shoulders, her legs clasping his chest tight, her pounding his chest wild, his arms bearing a heavy load, he was sweating profusely and heavily breathing as he slowly walked to the car. He placed the shopping bags on the rear seat and knelt for his goddess to alight.

She got down and kicked his chest till he lay flat on his back on the scotching road.

She stood on his chest both her feet over his heart stomped hard and said “I am hungry buy me food”

“I will I will, my dear”, he replied almost dead.

“Oh my heart," he whispered as she stepped out of his chest.

He drove her to her favourite restaurant by the beach

Shirtless, his chest bearing her shoe marks, blood smeared and sweat trickling down and his back muddied . 

They all knew him, his wealth and stature and the slave he was.

“No food for him”,she ordered

His legs hurting he sat on the chair across her and begged “My dear, I am parched can I have some water?” 

She signalled for him to come to her side

He knelt beside her.

She asked him to lick her feet.

He did as he was told and she poured water over her feet .

He drank the dirty water from her feet and looked at her gratefully.

She kicked his chest saying “Go away, dirty dog”

He crawled back to her feet saying “Where will I go, my goddess? Don’t kick away this dog." he implored, holding his chest.

She kicked him again laughing aloud “ I hate you” 

He dragged himself to her feet again “My heart, I cannot bear this, my love” patting his aching heart.

“ Don’t hate this slave, my dear. You are my heart. Let me be at your feet always. My heart beats for you, my love”

“ Here, take my heart, I cannot bear the pain anymore,” he said, clutching his heart.

“ Die, then“ she said as she stomped over his heart hard.

He swallowed a giant lump in his throat as his eyes welled with tears.

“As you wish . As you wish, my dear. You are my heart. ” he murmured as she crushed his chest while gorging on her favourite sandwich 

I hoped I would be dead. I tried to stop breathing but she kicked and made me cough.

She stood over his heart and hailed the waiter for the bill. 

His face had turned blood red. He reached for his wallet and handed it to her.

She paid the bill and walked away.

He could hardly rise.

The waiter slowly helped him to his feet.

With a smile, he thanked the waiter and dragged his feet along.

They drove back home she was quiet watching him steer with one hand and clasp his chest with the other.

They reached home he brought in the shopping bags left them on the table and rushed to her, knelt before her to remove her shoes.

She rubbed his chest and massaged over his heart with her barefoot.

“My love, thank you,thank you” he said exhilarated, as he slowly lay on the ground.

“Walk all over me, pound my heart, dig deep through it, I will still love you with all that I have every drop of blood unto my last breath “

“ Shut up” she yelled and jumped over his heart.

His eyes rolled up, he let out a meek cough, touched her feet on his heart and lay motionless,  his eyes fixed on hers.

He could breathe no more!