hoeformatcha

[hoeformatcha]

update on my day:

985 cals today, im under 1,000, but i’m still disappointed. i wrote out 5 pages worth of my feelings and then burned them while listening to clairo. my mom made me eat sphagetti, i wanted to cry. ANYWAYS. i just want a boyfriend :( it makes me so sad because idk what i’m doing wrong

i hope everyone is safe and having a better day than i am <3

[hoeformatcha]

having a shitty ass day.

the guy i like got a girlfriend and she’s horrid. she’s cheated on 3 guys in the past year. and like she’s manipulative and horrible. but as long as he’s happy, right? my mom forced me to eat breakfast so i grabbed a cliff bar, which was like 220 cals. i’m gonna try and burn it off by doing sit ups at lunch in the bathroom. i might go skate a bit too so i can burn it off in a less conspicuous way. i wish i was pretty and skinny. i’m so far from my goal. god. i hate it. i don’t even have any good friends. ig it’s better because there’s less people that notice my weight loss and food habit changes. any advice???

[hoeformatcha]

pics to motivate me

[hoeformatcha]

i’m back bitches! so basically i was sent to a hospital cuz my heart rate got really messed up and was forced to recover. i never wanted to recover and honestly just wanna be 122 pounds again. but yk! i’m not allowed to weigh myself, but i snuck a measurement in and i’m back at 139.8 pounds. i hate this. i’m 5’8.5” now and i just wanna be 110 pounds. like omfg. does anyone have any tips on how to lose weight but not fuck up my vitals (blood pressure, pulse, etc.)???

here’s some updated bod pics btw

[hoeformatcha]

ik i’m posting a lot today but this is HOPEFULLY the last post tonight!

i’m looking for ed buddies/moots, so message me and i’ll respond with my snap or instagram, or if you’re not comfortable with that, we can just message on here :)

TAGS FOR REACH

[hoeformatcha]

things i want:

-my ribs to show when i’m not sucking in

-<22 inch waist AT THE BIGGEST PART OF MY TORSO

-thigh gap

-ab muscles to be defined

-people to ask how i lost the weight

-to be able to fast for a week

-to be under 120 pounds next month

ANYTIPS????

[hoeformatcha]

i need more motivation (also the last pic from two days ago, i forgot to take one not flexing my ab muscles so i’m sorry) I NEED TO LOSE MORE. istg i look so fat from the side but it’s so much worse from the front. PLS DM ME MEANSPO AND MOTIVATE ME.

(the photos are mine btw)

((tags for reach))

[hoeformatcha]

tips for fasting? i always give up idk why???? like i can go longer i just don’t idk why 💔

[hoeformatcha]

thinspo for myself

[hoeformatcha]

i caved and ate a veggie burger thingy. it was only 130 cals tho. and i had an apple and some protein thingy. so probably a total amount of 320 today. 320 too many. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FASTING FOR 72 HOURSSS. literally i feel like such a failure.

total calorie intake: 320

total burned: 25

goal: 0 (fasting)

net: 295

[hoeformatcha]

whenever i want to eat i just think about:

-all the times i cried after eating

-all time times i’ve purged and felt horrible

-all the times i’ve finished my fasts and felt amazing

-the after fast meal

-people telling me i’ve looked like i’ve lost weight

-girls who used to make fun of how i looked asking how i lost the weight

-the future and how much weight i could lose

-the feeling (positive and negative) after seeing the number on the scale

-seeing my skinny friends and thinspo and being jealous of how they look

-feeling and seeing my bones become more prominent

this didn’t really make sense i’m sorry 💔💔 this is just motivation for myself

[hoeformatcha]

mini rant: tw eds

i literally am so mad at myself because i was doing so well and staying under my goal for my caloric intake and then i got a sweet craving and ate like 200 calories of crackers and nutella and i feel like shit. i’m super bloated and also my stomach hurts so bad because it was way too sweet and my body feels like it’s rejecting the food. but i can’t purge because my sibling is in ed recovery and the bathrooms are locked after every meal and snack for everyone and i cant go workout because we all have to stay in a room where a parent can supervise us until like 2 hours after. i’m so disappointed in myself and i’m just gonna fast tomorrow.

calorie intake≈ 697

calorie goal- 400

if anyone has any tips on fasting and not eating as much when i want to, pls help!!!

[hoeformatcha]

bro i’m so exhausted i just want to reach my gw and look like all the pretty pinterest girls with perfect skin and perfect flat stomachs. i need to work harder.

like it’s so not fair. how are they so oretty and i’m stuck with myself.