honestlynotokay - Tumblr blog

[honestlynotokay]

Writing my suicide note lol

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SABRINA CARPENTER The Eras Tour - Buenos Aires (November 9, 2023)

[honestlynotokay]

It sucks that you have to keep yourself busy to feel okay.

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Love being tricked into going to the hospital against my will

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I have outlived my usefulness. I am just a shell of a person, a shell of the person I once was. It’s one thing to be suicidal, it’s a completely different thing to know you have nothing to live for while you want to live. I want to live for reasons I used to have, for people that are long gone and out of my life. I want to live in case the past comes crawling back. And you know it won’t. No one cares enough about you to stay through this depression. You have no one to blame but yourself. I shouldn’t have cared so much. It was inevitable. I give everything and it’s not enough. What else is there left for me to do?

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I am still alive don’t worry

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Might just kill myself tomorrow

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Did everyone make a pact to ignore me or something???

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You promised we’d be best friends if we ever broke up. You lied. We’re more like distanced acquaintances now and it kills me

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My cries for help went unanswered. And people will wonder why I died

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I feel like he’s keeping a distance from me which makes me want to kill myself. I would do anything for him and he’s keeping me at arms length in case I do end up dying because of him

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He’s ignoring me

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He’s ignoring me. Has been for a week

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My “friends” don’t remember me. They’re hanging out without me right now and don’t even think to invite me, because I am a shell of the person I once was

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I work for the next seven days straight and I can’t do it. I had an anxiety attack yesterday and I can’t do that again