honeyhopeful

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comingcake

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An extremely important twitter thread

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botanical gardens

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Hello farmcore and cottagecore community! I want to ask a favour of you, please be cautious of reblogging pictures of cats outdoors! While barn cats and pictures of cats among flowers are very cute, being outdoors is bad for both the cat and the environment. Barn cats don’t just help keep mice populations low, but can give unique parasites to livestock and hunt native wildlife in the area. If cats are to be given outside time it’s best to be on a harness or given an enclosed area to keep both them and the wildlife safe. I’ve made an effort to delete pictures of outdoor cats off my blog but I ask to help spread this message! Thank you!

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“let women get plastic surgery!” is such a cold take like please think critically for once and stop trying to turn it into an empowerment movement for women. growing up arab, i have several cousins who were pressured into getting a nose job since it’s so normalized in my culture and i’m constantly shamed by my family members for not considering it. it’s hurtful and awful especially now with facetune and snapchat filters making your nose look more narrow 

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sanguine

instagram

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Note to self series, 1 & 2

Prints coming soon x

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About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking for my conditioner because today is wash day for my hair. As I’m looking for my product, this older white lady approaches me and she says, “Excuse me, miss. Please don’t be offended by this.” And usually when white people tell me not to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they are about to say is going to be offensive af.

Anyway, she follows it up with, “My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She’s a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do with her hair. It’s a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total lost. I’ve tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he’s still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don’t have the time, it’s okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful.”

Y’all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to follow natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad.

And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he’s braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who I know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful.

I really hope our paths cross again one day, Mrs Cicilia. 💖💕

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A great future does not require a great past.

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That no-good, ableist Marie Satan Kondo! Can’t believe she would just- oh

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—a memory of wind, by rachel swirsky

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how to navigate personal hygiene and self-care when the days become hard

When I was at my lowest, I remember how hard it was to do things. I would leave my room a mess, I wouldn’t bother combing through my hair, and I would neglect my meals  - all I had the energy to do was lay in my bed and wait until minutes passed by, and eventually that turned into hours.

 It has been years since I had my last low-point, which is a celebratory thing. But I knew how hard those days were when all you really had the energy for was to lay in bed, or stare at the wall, or sleep for long periods at a time.

 Then, I figured, why make things hard on myself? I cannot control my periods of inactivity, but I can make my environment more understanding and nurturing. Here are some of my personal tips to make me feel slightly more alive, and all of these take very little energy to execute.

 1. Cleansing facial wipes were a godsend

 Washing my face every morning became a routine late-2013. There’s something refreshing about washing away the grime and sweat that accumulated after a good nights’ rest. Massaging my face in little circles with warm water also properly woke me up to face the upcoming day; especially since I knew I would be outside for long periods of time, I always liked to properly prep my face with nourishing skin-care and a strong SPF. But on the days where I didn’t feel up to my usual routine, for one reason or another, I always returned to my trusty facial wipes – safe for sensitive skin – my Simple Facial Radiance wipes always does the trick. These wipes are filled with gentle, skin cleansing ingredients without any harsh additives – so they can easily remain on your face and no need t rinse afterwards. They impart a light, gentle scent which does not overwhelm the senses and retains its scent for a long time. These wipes yield a nice, soft clean face and it can make all the difference in your mood and how you feel throughout the day. I would definitely remind yourself to add the SPF – as that provides facial protection against harsh sunrays, but if you can’t then I would wear a hat and stay out of the sun.  2. How to take care of your body's' hygiene. Similarly to facial wipes, when I don't feel up to showering but I still need to clean up I like to use a warm damp washcloth. Focusing on areas deemed the most important - such as underarms, genitals, and chest. I like to add soap when it comes to cleaning my underarms to really exfoliate the skin and have it smell clean and fresh.   Applying deodorant directly after also makes it last longer; if you're someone that sweats easily I would opt for using a men's' based deodorant - the scents in the men's range are more powerful and have better long-lasting power.  For my hair, especially if I haven't touched or combed it in a week - I like to apply dry shampoo to the scalp to soak up some of the greases as well as impart a fresh, floral and slightly fruity scent to my hair. I then either wear a hat or pull my hair up in a tight ponytail to make it look polished and clean.   3. Understand your environment and make it work for you Last winter, I was presented with the opportunity to completely change my environment. Because I was always working and did not dedicate enough time to clean my living space, I made it so that cleaning would take less than 30 minutes. Before I converted my living space into a breathable minimalist room – I had shelves upon shelves upon shelves and tiny knick-knacks gathering dust – you could only imagine the amount of mess that was accumulated in that tiny room. So, I was fed up – got rid of all my shelves and clutter and only retained a workspace, a vanity table, and a bed-side table. Reducing the number of shelves and the space for clutter immensely freed up my cleaning time. While before I took almost all-day to organize, dust, polish, sweep and wash my room – my cleaning time was reduced to 30 minutes or less, and that includes organizing my wardrobes. But back then, I had to compile creative ways to make sure I don’t make a mess of my room. What I did back then was move my bins closer to where I was working, that way if I needed to throw away some recycling all I had to do was drop them into the bin next to me without getting up and moving. I would also move the things I used the most closer to me. For example, on days where I will be working from home, or need to have a day in bed, I would move a bottle of water, my bin, and my low-maintenance facial creams on my bedside table - this helped me retain hygiene whilst also understanding my limits that day. When I needed to start cleaning my room, I would start on a small section and spend 5-10 minutes tidying up – this could be as simple as organizing clutter to simply wiping down the countertops – whatever I had the energy for that day – sometimes when starting with a small, easy area that is done in a few seconds, it would give me that burst of energy to continue cleaning. Blaring my most productive music on full-volume, I would clean up my entire room and then celebrate with a nice, long warm bath. However, I am a big believer in moving things around to suit your needs and understanding your environments in most problematic areas. Practising this had made me more in-tune with my living space, my strengths and my weaknesses. One of my friends' tips, when she struggled with cleaning her kitchen, was to remove the cabinet doors – she said allowing her to see what was inside saved her from opening and closing and made her cleaning process faster. Little tips like that can seem excessive, but they do work. Another favourite tip of mine is working in piles. If I am arranging my wardrobe, I work with one shelf, and then I would just do shirts, the next day I do skirts, the next day I do jeans ­ these tips also help if you’re easily fatigued and/or distracted! What I also like to do is do small cleaning rituals one day of the week, and then a full thorough clean another day of the week. I space them out to give me enough time to recharge in-between cleans. I also make sure I am in a good mood whilst I clean, and I do this by perhaps putting on my favourite music, making sure I have adequate sunlight or I am well-hydrated. It's important to track your mood and try to take advantage of your good moods, bad moods and neutral moods.  4. Lists, alarms, reminders and everything in between Recently, I had oral surgery and I had been put on an oral-cleaning regimen that requires me to brush my teeth every 45 minutes after a meal. So, naturally, my phone's timer has been pulling double-duty.  But long before that, I have been utilizing alarms, reminders, schedules just to remind me of the little things and, in some small way,  provide the incentive for doing something. For example, when I wanted to remember to drink water, I had my phone send me notifications, gently asking me if I drank water that day. I downloaded a charming little app on my smartphone that charts your water intake and you get a virtual plant friend to cheer you on, thus giving you more incentive to drink water. I had completely stopped drinking fruit juices and sodas and was drinking about 2 litres of water a day. I have also begun to the habit of note-taking and list-making. I lined up everything I wanted to get done that day and crossed them out when I was finished. There are several list-making apps available on smartphones and one of my personal favourites is Habatica - a whimsical app that takes completely tasks into a fun little game where your virtual character grows stronger the more tasks you complete.  Notifications, sticky notes, lists, reminders, alarms - a lot of those help me remember about things I need and want to do. Sometimes when I'm working, or having a particularly rough couple of days, having my phone which is on me almost all day remind me about basic things such as teeth brushing, cleaning my room, eating and even drinking water helps me not lose myself to the confines of my bed - where hours melt into days and my energy dissipates.  5. It takes a village sometimes.  I am privileged enough to not be living on my own and I am comfortable in my limitations to ask for help whenever I need to do something but I simply cannot complete tasks on my own, either due to lack of focus, energy or time.  I strike deals with my mother that if I polished all of the furniture in my room, then she could wash the floors while I reward myself with an extra 30 minutes of sleep. When it comes to washing the dishes, me and my sibling would split the task - one of us would do the drying, and one of us would do the washing. When I really need to clean my living space but I have no one to ask for help physically close to me, I like to call my friends and talk to them while I clean - this really helps cut out distraction using your smart phone and computers - especially when both of you are cleaning at the same time.  Forcing yourself to clean is never easy, and if you can ask for some help, I would highly suggest doing so - sometimes having your parents check in on you and remind you to do things can really help. One of my friends lives in a shared house together with a bunch of strangers, on their cleaning days they have a list of chores that they fairly separated and delegated together. When one of them does not have the energy or mental capacity to clean, the people pull double-duty to let the other person rest.  The beauty of humanity is that we're not meant to be alone. People have helped each other and supported each other whenever it counts; villages have often tended to the sick and the elderly, whilst men hunted and brought back enough food to feed everyone. In many close-knit communities, historians can definitely tell you one thing: no one gets left behind.   If you are feeling particularly bad or spent or you can't fathom any energy to clean your house, or room or living space - don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. If you have a very limited amount of contact with people; finding online resources and online support groups can often help. At the moment, I am currently learning the KonMari way of tidying up. Maria Kondo is a Japanese organizer that has lately been making the rounds on talk shows, home-organising shows and articles. Her gentle, nurturing approach to tidying up is one that is a breath of fresh-air with extremely effective and useful advice. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder, ADHD, and hoarding tendencies have discussed how this woman has helped them keep track of their living space and curating a joyful home environment.    But what happens if I can't do all of this?  That's okay.  Recovery is not linear, and sometimes taking care of yourself feels like an uphill battle. This article may or may not work for you, but it's here for when you're ready to try. If all you did was get out of bed and let some air out of the covers - then that's enough. If all you did was brush your teeth, then that's okay!  It's always good to remember that your recovery journey and self-care regimens come at a slow pace and you should not feel shame if you cannot clean your room, or wash the dishes, or brush your hair or even take a shower - while these things must be done - you must be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that this is a hard thing, but someday you will achieve your goal.  Until then, stay hopeful.   

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The Beauty Industry Profits on your Unhappiness

In 4,000 BC, historians traced the first ever beauty product - kohl eyeliner that the Egyptians used to create dramatic eye looks. Social media emerged in the 1970s when the internet really transpired in this time period. These days, the beauty industry and social media have seen immense growth. The beauty industry is appraised to be worth above 15 billion Euros, and social media is expected double in growth in the next few years - with Snapchat and Instagram being in the lead for most users.

The beauty industry has always had problems - especially when it came to women's' expectations. Feminist movements have always admonished the use of makeup - as most women felt rigid feminine expectations were being pushed on them. In recent years, makeup was seen in a different light - as a way for women to express their creative side, to feel good about themselves, and that despite wearing makeup - they should always be respected not as women but as people.

However, makeup and the use of social media is being viewed in a critical lens once again.

Social media is a double-edged sword in the 21st century; what was seen as a way to open doors, connect with like-minded individuals, research topics, and have educational discussions over an online platform. However, the curse that lies in social media is how accessible we have become - with a lack of privacy and a fast-paced environment, many users are feeling fatigued and dissatisfied with their social media use and accounts. Social media in its infancy celebrated creativity and open-ended dialogue between users from all over the world, but now with marketing changing along with our online communications - social media has quickly turned into a virtual department store where products, ideologies, and misinformation are at the ready.

The beauty industry and social media are now seemingly joined at the hip with more companies using influencer marketing strategy. Here is where the article gets ugly.

I'm not going to pretend that beauty ideal, marketing, and social media were not an issue before - I'm sure women in my generation back then felt the pressures as much as the women of this generation do - but back then, the beauty industry was not in our faces 24/7. I myself as a young girl barely read any magazine articles concerning beauty, and I wasn't interested in fashion, or any notion of performative femininity. And my friend would tend to agree, back then we were free to be kids. I didn't even start wearing eyeliner until I was seventeen years old, and even if I did wear eyeliner it was because my mother forced me to because it was a holiday. Even if you Google teenage celebs in the 90s to early 2000s and compare to teenage celebs in 2014 - 2018 - you can definitely see a difference in how the beauty industry and the beauty standards have changed. Young girls today are feeling more and more pressure to look a certain way that young girls in my generation ever did.

And the consequences of these societal expectations are causing teens to not only become prematurely depressed, but body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and self-objectification is on the rise.

Tweens, teenagers and young adults who are interested in makeup all follow at least one social media mogul - usually its' Kylie Jenner, Jaclyn Hill, Tati Westbrook, or any other celebrity such as Ariana Grande. The beauty of social media was that it allowed users to have complete control over their image and use promotion as their means to get funding. Each day, as I scroll on my phone, I often see women with long, incredibly toned legs, plump breasts, pouty lips, chiselled cheekbones, flat tummies and perfectly, rounded buttocks. The comments on each one of their photo and captions is fans wishing to look like them, often chastising their own appearance whilst praising their looks and ask for dieting tips, look tips, fashion tips.

As influencers share their dieting tips to look the way they do, this is seen as an honest way to connect with their audience and provide insight.

Unfortunately, this is not what happens.

The problem with the beauty industry is that it heavily relies on false representations and unrealistic standards. An Instagram model or even a well-known celebrity will post on their social media the secret to their physique and over-all look - and usually that "secret" comes in the form of detox teas that are filled with laxatives and dangerous ingredients, diet pills that have not been properly researched, or whatever snake oil they needed to push on impressionable young women. In reality, this is farther from the truth. Kylie Jenner was one of the celebrities to promote a laxative-based tea that can induce gastrointestinal problems later in life, but it is well known that Kylie Jenner, American socialite and TV personality, has been very open about retouching her photos, undergoing cosmetic surgery, and even has a personal gym and trainer within her residence. The same can be said for Kendall Jenner, sister of Kylie Jenner, who was recently criticized for becoming a spokesperson for ProActive, claiming it was the sole cure to her acne. Mostly because, a few short months earlier in 2018, Kylie Jenners' dermatologist explained that the cure for Kendall Jenner's acne-problem was a mix of well-formulated skincare products that were not ProActive and a laser treatment.

Los-Angeles based makeup artist Jordan Liberty stated on his Instagram stories that a models' job was not to look attractive, but it was to sell products by using her facial muscles and body. A models' job is to always promote merchandise - and recently the beauty industry has been taking models to promote unrealistic beauty standards and the quick fixes and products to attain that level of beauty.

The problem with the products that most models becomes a spokesperson for is that none of these products promotes a healthy lifestyle. As I have mentioned, many diet-based teas often have laxative ingredients that will damage the intestinal system and can cause serious dehydration to a young girls' body.  Not to mention, that by utilizing hashtags such as 'thinspo' and 'body goals', including the high amounts of re-touching and intricate makeup placements to allow the model to look thinner, healthy and well-toned, often leads young women to negative thought patterns, depression and body dissatisfaction.

In 2016, Fardouly and Vartanian researched the high-rise of social media and the correlation of body image concerns, and they found that users with more appearance exposure suffer a lot more from weight dissatisfaction, drive for thinness, and thin-idealisation. They concluded that social media does indeed impact teenagers appearance concerns. Dr Helen Sharpe was quoted by The Guardian and she stated that most teenage girls resort to unhealthy weight loss practices, such as skipping meals, smoking, and lower levels of physical activities. Social media such as snapchat and Instagram are even damaging to young women due to filters and facial-reorganising that occurs on both apps - thus giving an overall distortion of ones' appearance. Time Magazine even reported on Snapchat causing self-esteem issues, dubbed as 'snapchat dysmorphia', plastic surgeons are writing that there is a surge in clients wanting to look like their filters, with bigger eyes, thinner noses, and fuller lips. They describe such a trend alarming since those filters are meant to be an unattainable facial structure and the lines between fantasy and reality are slowly blurring. Plastic surgeons are also arguing that these apps are making people lose touch with reality, and are expecting to look perfectly prim in real life.

Accounts such as @celeblife have taken upon themselves to remove editing, plastic surgery and enhancements to show users before and after shots of the models in question. These accounts are not there to ridicule the celebs or poke fun at their bodily enhancement, but really it is to remind users that at the end of the day social media is just smoke and mirrors. None of it is real. The images that we see, the videos that we observe - they're all scripted, edited, filtered, and processed.

The Beauty Industry will let people - especially impressionable young women - fight to attain those unrealistic beauty standards - but all the industry is doing is leaving a sea of depressed young women in its' wake. All the industry does is prey on women's' insecurities and fear by pushing and pushing products to make them 'selfie ready' or 'life-ready'. I myself as a woman have often skipped going to social events because I didn't want to put on makeup, or wouldn't even call my friend using video because I wasn't wearing makeup.

Accounts like @celebself and beauty influencers like Samantha Ravandahl, a Canadian Youtuber, talking about what it truly means to sell product - citing that brands sent over scripts instructing her to claim that no other product has helped her as much as this one - Ravandahl stated that she could not cooperate with the brand because at the end, she did not want to lie to her audience. Ravandahl recently talked about no longer receiving product launches from brands and wants to return to her authentic, educational roots than constantly act as an advertiser. These accounts and outspoken, honest influencers may remind us not to be so hard on ourselves, and that at the end of the day, we're admiring a tiny, unattainable fraction of reality.

So, if you're a young girl reading this and you're worried about the way you look - I can't tell you “don't be” as we both know these things are harder to shake off, but I can only remind you that everything on social media is glamorized and even if you do not look like the models on Instagram - you're still beautiful, worthy of respect, intelligent and you should give yourself more time and credit.

[honeyhopeful]

I love falling asleep to the sounds of melodic rainfall and thunderstorms and whistling winds. It reminds me I exist and I am safe tonight.

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