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hotsummertrash · 7 years ago

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you are the reason ⋆ c.h

Pairing: Calum x OC

Summary: Calum reflects on his past after two of the most important people in his life are gone.

Warning(s): angst, fluff, memories, swearing, fighting, this is a whole ass story

Song: You Are the Reason by Calum Scott

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: italics are memories, bold italics are song lyrics

• • • •

"Still staring at the picture?" Mali's voice pulled Calum out of his trance.

His tired eyes glanced up at his sister who stood in his doorway, her arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the wall. Her face held outright pity as she looked down on her younger brother whose eyes were red with dark bags beneath them.

"I-" his raspy voice starts before he cuts himself off, a small exhale escaping his mouth. He looks back down at the picture frame in his hands, his face crinkling back up as his eyes sting with tears for the tenth time that day.

"Cal," Mali sighed, walking into his room and taking a seat on the bed beside him. "You've haven't left this house in a week."

"They'll be coming back soon," he assured himself. "I want to be here when they get here."

Mali frowned, glancing away from her brother and at the ground solemnly.

Calum's eyes burned holes into the photo he was holding, his vision roaming back and forth between two of the most beloved faces in his world.

"Bub," Mali began, but Calum quickly cut her off with a shake of his head.

"Don't say anything," he mumbled. "They're coming back. I know they are."

"The guys are worried," she informed him, but he kept quiet there on out. Mali closed her mouth and reluctantly nodded, clasping her hands together and rising back up to her feet. She headed back out of the room, halting right before exiting through the door. "I'll be back tomorrow. I left food in the kitchen. Love you, Cal."

When he doesn't reply, she bites the inside of her left cheek and officially leaves, making her way out his room, down the stairs, out of his house and to her car.

The second Calum hears the front door close, he's snapped out of his trance once again. He looks up and notices that his sister is gone. He hadn't realized when she'd done so.

He slowly placed the frame down on the bed beside him before standing up and running a hand through his tangled tousles.

His feet slid across the floor as he trudged out of his room, his stomach making noises due to the emptiness of it.

He subconsciously halted in front of one specific door, goosebumps rising on his timid skin as nausea settles within him. His eyes water for what seems like the hundredth time when he reads the seven letters on the top of the white door.

'Grayson'.

• • • •

Four Years Ago

"He already has your hair," Elaine murmured as she watched her three-week-old baby boy in the middle of her and Calum's shared bed.

Calum smiled, staring down at his beautiful son whose eyes were closed as he peacefully slept.

Elaine couldn't stop awing at Grayson, even weeks after he had been born. She still couldn't fathom the thought that this tiny perfect human had formed inside of her.

This mix of Elaine and Calum with dark curly hair, chocolate brown eyes and golden skin was the newfound epitome of love for both of them.

Calum took his son's hand into his own, running his thumb over the soft skin. His eyes then traveled up to his wife who was too busy looking down at Grayson. Calum happily reflected on his small family, which he loved with all of his heart.

There and then, he knew that nothing would ever top the feeling he had felt at that moment.

"I don't want him to grow," Calum admitted with a small laugh.

"I just want to stare at him like this all day," Elaine gushed, tilting her head to the side. "I love him so much, my chest aches."

"My two angels," Calum beams at the two. "My two loves."

• • • •

Three Years Ago

"Good morning, bug," Elaine's soft voice made Grayson smile up at her, his knees bending as his hands held on to the bars of his crib. "Why are you up so early?" She lifts him up into her arms and kisses the side of his curly head.

"Dah," the toddler hummed, bunching Elaine's shirt in his tiny hands.

"Wanna wake up Daddy?" She suggested, to which he sluggishly nodded. She let out a small chuckle before turning and walking out of his room, heading into hers and Calum's.

Calum had shuffled to the middle of the bed in the small amount of time she's been gone, his arms spread beside him as he comfortably sleeps on his stomach. Elaine settles herself beside him and places Grayson onto the bed.

Grayson crawls to his father, placing his hands on Calum's face and babbling a few incoherent words - if he could even call them words.

"Dah," Grayson muttered.

"Daddy's tired," Elaine runs a hand through Calum's hair, igniting a soft grunt.

"- time is it?" Calum lowly grumbled, blinking a few times before turning on his back. His yawn forms into a smile when he spots Grayson, taking his son and sitting him on his bare chest.

"A little after eight," Elaine doesn't pull her hand from her husband's roots, an action he genuinely enjoyed.

"I'm exhausted," Calum yawns again as Grayson scoots backward on his chest so he can lie down, resting his face on his father's collarbone. "What're you doing up so early?"

"I think Mali put him to bed early last night," Elaine leaned her back against the headboard and grabbed her phone from the nightstand with her free hand, scrolling through a few emails while Calum began to drift back to sleep.

Grayson sat up and saw Calum's closed eyes, his face scrunching up in distress.

"Dah," Grayson whined, catching Elaine's attention.

"Daddy's sleeping," she cooed, putting her phone down and reaching over to take him off of Calum's chest.

Grayson let out a whine, his eyes forming tears at the separation.

"Don't cry, baby, he'll be up soon," Elaine sighed, wiping away the first tear that fell. She bit her bottom lip as Grayson's mouth opened, knowing that the next sound leaving his mouth would be a heavy and chalky sob.

Calum's eyes fluttered open once again as he hears Grayson's cries.

"Wanna lay with Daddy, then?" Elaine suggests, and Grayson eagerly nods. Calum forms a lazy yet smug grin while Elaine rolled her eyes with a small smile. "What happened to being a Mama's boy, eh?" She huffed, placing Grayson down beside his father.

Calum opened his arms and Grayson crawled right into them, his head lying on Calum's chest while he sits on his knees. Calum's hand runs up and down Grayson's back, stopping the tot's cries and Elaine couldn't help but gush at the sight. No matter how many times she's seen the two interact, she knew she'd never get over it.

"I'm gonna change," Elaine stood from the bed and used the hair tie on her wrist to bring up her shoulder-length hair into a ponytail.

"For wha'?" Calum asked.

"Going to pick up Dee from Dad's," she replies, pushing excess hair behind her ear. "Remember?"

Elaine's dad and Farrah, his wife and Elaine's stepmother, would be visiting Haiti and staying with Farrah's family for the next two weeks, leaving their Norwich Terrier, Dee, in Elaine's hands until they return.

"Ah, yeah," he nods. "Thought you were gonna do that later."

"Well, I'm up now and not going back to sleep anytime soon," she shrugged, turning and making her way to the walk-in closet. She grabs one of Calum's graphic tees and a pair of leggings before putting them on.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she walks back into the bedroom to see Calum back asleep while Grayson lies beside him.

When Grayson sees his mother, he sits up and opens his arms to her.

"Oh, now you want Mama?" She teases, picking him up into his arms. "Want to come to Grandpa and Grandma with me?"

Grayson doesn't respond, not truly understanding what she had asked. Elaine takes the silence as a yes and goes to get Grayson ready in his room.

She gives him a quick bird bath before putting him into dark blue sweat slacks and a regular grey shirt. She put his Velcro shoes on before sliding her own sneakers on, as well.

"Let's say bye to Daddy," Elaine said as the two entered the master bedroom once again. "Give kiss."

Grayson leans towards Calum from his mother's arms and pressed his lips against the corner of Calum's lips. Calum stirred awake for the third time, blinking his tired eyes into clear vision.

"We'll be back soon," Elaine smiled, leaning over herself to give her husband a kiss. Calum kisses her back on the lips for a few seconds before kissing Grayson on the forehead. "Love you."

"Love you, too," he hums as his wife and son exit his bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Elaine and Grayson arrive at her father and step-mother's house. The second they step through the door, Grayson is running into Farrah's arms.

"Gam!" He giggled as his grandmother lifted him into her arms and attacked his face with her kisses.

"Hi, Mom," Elaine chuckled, closing the front door behind her just as Dee comes running into the room, barking up a storm.

"Hi, Baby," Farrah kisses Elaine on the cheek before turning back to Grayson.

"Where's Dad?" Elaine walked into the living room and set her keys on the coffee table.

"In the backyard, pulling out the weeds," Farrah hummed.

"Smells good, you making food?" Elaine's face lit up as her mouth slightly watered at the thought of her step-mother's cooking.

When Elaine was fifteen, her father had re-married and the family of two became a family of three. Elaine was an American-raised Italian and all she knew before Farrah entered their lives was microwavable dishes and cliché dinners only on days like Thanksgiving and Christmas. When Farrah had become her official step-mother, it was as if an entire new world opened up at her hands and that world contained various flavors of Caribbean food, her newfound favorite kind.

"Ah, wi!" Farrah grinned. "I'm making food for you guys while we're gone. Got nothing better to do."

"That's too kind, Mom, thank you," Elaine cheered, walking to the kitchen.

"No problem, Baby. There are plantains, potato salad, egg salad, mayi moulin, blah blah blah," she lists. "Woke up early this morning and had nothing better to do. Packing is done, and Gio wanted to pull the weeds before we're off. The food's done, actually. Just need to put it all in containers."

"Smells like heaven," Elaine fawns. Farrah grins at the compliment and places Grayson back onto the ground, although the sticks by her side.

"Hey!" All heads turn at the loud and deep voice caused by Elaine's father as he walked in through the back door. The sweat on him was very visible, from his armpits to his shining forehead. "Thought you were coming later."

"Grayson and I woke up early, so I decided to come and get Dee now," Elaine shrugged, walking towards her father and wrapping her arms around him, avoiding his damp pit stains.

"Where's my favorite grand-baby?" Gio beamed as he pulled away from his daughter, leaning down happily.

"He's your only grand-baby," Farrah cocked her head to the side as Grayson gave his grandfather a hug.

"Not for long, right?" Gio glances up at Elaine with a smug grin, to which she rolled her eyes at. "Where's Cal?"

"Sleeping. We got in late last night."

Elaine and Calum had gone to a concert the night before with a few friends and then drinks afterward, leading up to them arriving home at one in the morning. It was safe to say that Calum was sporting a very severe hangover.

"Ah, well I'll give him a call sometime soon," Gio shrugged. Elaine always loved the relationship between her father and husband. She had been afraid growing up that he would never accept anybody she'd gotten with, but when he actually accepted Calum as her boyfriend, eventual husband and father of her child, everybody was exceptionally taken by surprise.

Elaine bent down and picked up Dee, kissing the old dog on the top of its head.

"Thanks for holding her," Gio nodded, rising to his feet.

"No worries. Grayson loves Dee, right, Gray?"

"Dee!" Grayson called, causing Gio to let out a hefty chuckle.

Elaine and Grayson hang about her parent's house for another half hour before they head back home, with a tote full of containers and food and a fifteen-year-old dog.

"There my gorgeous family is," Calum's voice echoes through the halls as Elaine walks in with Grayson and Dee. "What smells so good? Farrah give us leftovers?"

"More like entire meals," Elaine holds the tote up. "Said she wanted us to eat well while she was gone."

"Love that woman," Calum laughed, kneeling down to pet Dee. Grayson kicked off his shoes before running off to the playroom, busying himself with the various toys surrounding him.

"Even made your favorite," Elaine hummed as Calum stood back up and took her hand into his, leading her to the kitchen.

"Her potato salad?"

"Mhm," she hummed and Calum fist-bumped the air happily.

After she set the bag on the counter, she turned in Calum's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck while his wrap around her waist.

"Want to watch movies with a few friends tonight?" He suggests. "Can put Gray to bed and then eat so much our stomachs hurt."

"Sounds like a ball," Elaine giggled. "Who's coming?"

"The guys, Crystal, Patrick, Andy, Kahleel," he lists.

"Alright. I'm not picking the movie, though," she lightly pats his cheek. "Last time I picked the movie, everyone hated it."

"We didn't hate it," he lies yet visibly fails. Elaine rose a single eyebrow but he held his act. "Well, I kind of liked it..." Elaine's face only grew more unamused and he eventually gave up. "Alright, I'll choose the movie."

"Mhm," she nodded.

"But we've got to go shopping for snacks. I don't want them eating our food, most importantly- Farrah's food."

"There's enough to go around," Elaine laughed.

"Nope," he shook his head. "More for us. Let's go."

"Fine," Elaine shook her head with another chuckle, walking out of his hold. "Let me just put this food away first and we'll go."

"Gray!" Calum called, walking to the playroom that was right next to the living room.

"Huh?" Grayson called back, walking out of the room with Dee in his footsteps.

"Let's put your shoes back on, Buddy."

The three head to Target not too long after that. Grayson sits in the front of the cart while Calum pushes and Elaine throws whatever she believes their friends will eat into it.

"Patrick and Kahleel said they like plantain chips, right?" Elaine asked although she knew Calum wouldn't know.

"I have no idea," he shrugged, throwing a pack of dried mango into the cart for himself.

Elaine opened her mouth when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned and rose her eyebrows at the sight of three teenage girls who she could only guess were fans.

"Oh my- h-hi," one of them greet.

"Hi," Elaine smiled.

"You're Elaine Hood," another one of them says, star-struck eyes staring at her.

"I like to say I am," Elaine jokes.

"And you're Calum Hood," she says, internally squealing.

"Could we please get a picture?" The third asks. "But it's completely fine if not, we just-"

"Of course!" Elaine waved a single hand. "What are your names?" She soon learned that Cassidy, Eve and India stood in front of her.

"I really loved you in Laze Daze and Land Of! Those are actually my two favorite movies," Eve says, and Elaine basks in the compliment.

During Elaine's elementary and middle school years, she had acted in five movies, four of them being world-known. Before entering high school, she chose to stop acting because that's not what she wanted to do in life. And even though she stopped all those years ago, people still recognized her to this day.

"And I love Five Seconds of Summer so much! I've been a fan since you guys opened for One Direction!" Cassidy enthusiastically says, making Calum smile.

"Is that Grayson? He's so adorable!" Eve adds.

"I want your genes," India jokes and Elaine lightly chuckles.

Elaine takes a picture with the three girls before Calum does so as well and they leave hastily and gratefully.

"They were sweet," Elaine hummed as they strolled into the frozen aisle.

Calum just nodded, internally happy that others love his family, as well. Although nobody loves them more than he does.

• • • •

Two Years Ago

"This one looks nice, eh?" Calum hums, picking a shell from the wet sand and holding it up in front of Grayson.

"Pretty," Grayson nods, taking the shell from Calum’s hold and putting it into the green bucket. He turned just as the tide came in, water running over his feet. He grew giddy and squealed as his head shrunk into his shoulders.

"Water's cold?" Calum laughs.

"Yeah, water cold," Grayson repeats.

Calum smiled and looked over to where Elaine, Kahleel and Ashton sat beneath their very large beach umbrella. Ashton and Elaine laughed together while Kahleel was fast asleep, her sun hat on her face blocking her from the winded sand.

"Daddy, go in," Grayson put the bucket on the floor.

"You wanna go in?" Calum asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, in."

"You sure, Bug?"

"In," Grayson repeated.

"Alright, alright," Calum gave in, taking the bucket that carried a few shells and placing it a bit farther out so the tide wouldn't take it.

Calum takes Grayson's hand into his and they walk a few inches deeper into the water.

"Cold!" Grayson squealed and Calum chuckled. Calum bends down and flicks very little water at him. "Daddy!" Grayson splashes water back at his father and they both were swarmed in laughter as they played in the water.

Calum would lift his son out of the ocean water and then place him back down repeatedly, which was more fun than it sounded for the both of them.

From the shore, Elaine and Ashton watched the two with smiles on their faces. Elaine got her phone out and snapped a few pictures of Calum kissing Grayson's cheek and spinning him in the air.

Eventually, Elaine had gotten up and went to join the two in the water. She happily took Grayson from Calum's hands before Calum wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held them both in their air. Scream-like giggles filled the air.

Moments later, the playful energy had cooled down and Grayson's head rested on his mother's shoulder. Calum's arm is around his wife's waist and the three turn to watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the body of water, purple skies taking over.

Calum reflected on his life at that moment, subconsciously smiling and tightening his hold on Elaine, kissing the side of her head giddily.

"Love you, Angel," he sighs.

• • • •

One Year Ago

"L is for the way you look at me," Elaine sings as Calum and her glide through the living room, Michael Bublé blaring through the wall speakers.

"O is for the only one I see," Calum mixes singing and giggling in together, the two glasses of wine barely affecting him.

"V is very, very extraordinary!"

"E is even more than anyone that you adore."

"And love is all that I can give to you," they both sing together, their hands clasped and feet roaming the floor in sync. "Love is more than just a game for two. Two in love can make it. Take my heart but please don't break it. Love was made for me and you!"

Calum abruptly leaned forward and pecked her lips, making her grin just before he hoisted her in the air and on his shoulder.

"Calum!" She squealed, slapping his back and then his rear end a few times.

He dropped her on the couch and threw himself on top, both of them erupting into full belly laughs. Calum's kisses start at her shoulder and lead up to the corner of her mouth before pulling away with a mocking smile.

"Michael is still playing, Cal!" She pushed him off of her and jumped up, twirling to the sound of Michael Bublé's voice happily. Calum grins at the sight, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.

"Dance with me, Baby," Elaine holds her hand out for him, and he shrugs before taking it and rising. They spin, skip and leap around, having the time of their tipsy lives. At the last note of the song, Elaine takes Calum and tips him over like the males typically do to females. Jokingly, she drops him and they erupt into another fit of heavy laughs.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Grayson's voice shouts from the second floor. Calum sits up and Elaine freezes as both of their parenting instincts take place.

"Stop the music!" Calum shouts as he hops up and runs after Elaine up the stairs.

"Gray, what is it?" Elaine calls and rushed into Grayson's room. She flicks his light on and hurried to his bed, Calum on her heels.

"My nose is fuffy," he whines, kicking his sheets off of him.

"Your nose is stuffy?" Calum furrows his eyebrows and Grayson nods.

"And my head hurts," he adds.

Elaine places the back of her hand against his forehead and recoils at the hot skin.

"Think he might have a fever," Elaine sighed, standing up and heading to the first-floor bathroom where the first aid kit is. She takes out the thermometer and makes her way back to Grayson's room.

Grayson sits on Calum's lap as he quietly cries and winces.

"Open your mouth, Gray," Elaine instructs. "And lift your tongue." After a thorough check, she bites her lip as the thermometer reads 101.7 degrees. She eventually gets Tylenol and a cold cloth while Calum moves Grayson to their bedroom.

After an hour of whines, Grayson is fast asleep on between Calum and Elaine. Elaine rests on her side, one arm beneath her head while she runs her free hand through her son's hair, a liking he had gotten from his father.

"Scared me half to death," Calum murmured with a small sigh.

"Thank God it's just a fever," Elaine said, her voice low and soft as she tries not to wake the three-year-old.

Calum leaned forward and kissed Grayson's forehead, pulling back and watching as Elaine's eyes flutter closed and her hands slowly come to a stop in Grayson's hair. He lets out a sigh and closes his own eyes, basking in the presence of the loves of his life.

• • • •

One Week Ago

"You're overreacting," Calum scoffs as he bent forward and slid his shoes on.

"You haven't been home in weeks, Calum," Elaine rolled her eyes. "And then when you are home, you spend all of your time out and about! How is wanting my husband to spend time with his family 'overreacting'?"

"I'm always with you two, I just want to hang out with friends. What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with that. But there is something wrong when Grayson repeatedly asks where his father is."

"You act like I don't come home at all," he rolls his eyes.

"You might as well not! You come home at three in the fucking morning every day and sleep until noon, and then you're out again," Elaine throws her hands in the air.

"You're shitting on me because for the first time in five years I'm living my fucking life," he stood up angrily, not even realizing the words that came from his mouth.

"Oh, really?" Elaine crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "First time in five years?"

"Don't act surprised," he spits.

"Excuse me for being taken aback while my husband basically tells me that he regrets marrying me and having our child."

"You're twisting my words," Calum grumbled. "Talk to me when you're over the dramatics."

"I don't know what's up your ass, but I suggest you take it out."

"You! You're up my ass! All day, every fucking day! I'm twenty-two years old, Elaine! I'm still young! I should be having fun, wasting the night away. Not shopping for car beds and... microwaves!"

"It's kind of too late for second thoughts, Calum," Elaine stood in front of the bed as her chest ached with every word that came out of Calum's mouth.

"Yeah, I understand that much," he murmurs.

The two are quiet for a few seconds, Elaine's eyes brimming with tears as she quietly pants, not knowing what to think or do.

"So you do regret marrying me," she concludes.

"We were too young then, and we're still too young now," he shrugs.

"And you regret having Grayson," she narrows her eyes as they cast downwards and to her bare feet against the carpeted floor.

"I have to go," Calum ignores her words.

"So you're just going to leave? While we're talking?"

"We're not talking, Elaine. You're yelling at me!"

"Because you're being a fucking prick!" She shouted, her face red with anger. "You tell me that you regret ‘us’ and think you can just go drink the night away? Leaving your wife and son at home?!"

"I'll be home in a few," he ignores her words once again, making her even more upset.

"How could you talk to me like that and expect everything to be fine? For me to just accept that you want to take back everything we've built together - our lives?!" Elaine's voice only grew louder.

Calum keeps silent and walks out of the room, making his way to Grayson's.

He turns into his son's room and catches Grayson slowly flipping through a picture book.

Grayson looks up, his eyes brightening when he sees his father.

"Daddy!" Grayson cheered, standing up and running into his father's arms. "Daddy, can we watch Paw Patrol movie? Me and Mommy watched it, I want you to!"

"Maybe another time, Bug," Calum sighed, kissing the top of Grayson's head. "How about tomorrow?"

"Can't cancel a night of drinks to spend time with your own son?" Elaine's voice made his stomach sink from behind him.

"I just want time for myself, can I not have that?" Calum asks through grit teeth.

"Mommy, why are you crying? Are you okay?" Grayson moved away from Calum and to his mother.

"Yes, Baby, I'm alright," Elaine exhaled, wiping at her damp cheeks.

"Where's Daddy going?" Grayson asked as Calum headed downstairs.

"Gray, go to your room. I'll be there in a second," Elaine told the four-year-old before reluctantly following Calum to the first floor.

"Hope your dramatics are gone by the time I'm back," he tiffs, walking out the front door and to his car in the driveway.

"Have a great time, Calum. Hope you can find another girl at the club tonight, ask to marry her and then give her a kid. Maybe you won't regret this one."

"Would you stop it?" Calum spat.

Without another word, she slams the door and hastily locks it, taking a step back and looking at the closed doors with blurry vision. She picked up a hand and placed it on her mouth as a son began to brew. Her face shriveled and she dropped to the floor, moving to bury her entire face in her hands.

"Mommy."

Elaine's face lifted from her palms at the cracked voice of her son. She turned to him, who stood on the bottom step with a frown on his small oblivious face.

"Daddy make you cry?" He quietly questions.

She didn't know how to answer him, standing up and taking her quivering bottom lip between her teeth.

"Let's get you into a bath. Almost bedtime," she sniffs, lifting him in her arms and heading back up the stairs.

Grayson didn't play in the bath like he usually did that night. His mood wasn't the highest knowing that his mother wasn't okay. His eyes kept roaming her sad and distant face. When he was hanging into his pajamas, tears were still leaking out of her eyes.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, wanting to be close to his glum mother.

"Of course, Baby," she says quietly, taking his hand in hers and leading him to her room. She lifts him onto the bed and forces a smile as she watches him crawl underneath the covers.

Elaine crawled in beside him, lying on her back while Grayson shuffles his head into her neck.

Her mind drifted as Grayson fell asleep, and eventually, she realizes that she had been staring at the ceiling for two hours. Her eyes were numb and swollen by now and her chest felt heavier than ever. The migraine she had didn't help with her emotions either. No matter how long she tried, her mind kept wandering back to Calum and everything he told her mere hours before.

She wondered what he was up to at that moment - if he took some of her sarcastic advice and hooked up with someone else; if he didn't regret a word and actually meant that his entire life with her was a mistake; if he genuinely felt tied down by them.

"Time," she whispers to herself. "Time is what he wants."

Without a second thought, she slid Grayson off of her and rose from the bed. With a burst of negative adrenaline, she pulled two suitcases out from the back of the closet. She set them both at the end of the bed and opened them before going back to the closet and grabbing a few shirts. She then took enough jeans, shorts, leggings, sweatpants and underwear to last a week or two and threw them into the cases.

She eventually moves to Grayson's room, grabbing an armful of clothing from his drawers and filling the second suitcase. She didn't forget to pack a few of his toys or her laptop and any other small necessities. She quietly brings the luggage down the stairs and to her car.

Through the entire process, she didn't stop crying, her hands shaking and nose running.

Towards the end of it all, she changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt before going for the last move of it all. Grayson.

She grabs his blanket from his own bed before lifting him into her arms bridal style, trying her best not to wake him.

When she puts him into his car seat, he stirs but doesn't wake up, fortunately for her.

Elaine climbs into the driver's seat and takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and running her hands down her face.

"What am I doing?" She whispers to herself. And then she remembers everything that had happened that night. "Giving him space, that's what I'm doing."

She pulls out her phone and goes to send Calum a message, keeping it short and blunt. A second after hitting the send button, she shuts her phone off and tosses it into the seat beside her and turns on the engine of the car.

She clears her mind the second she turns the corner of the street, their house getting farther with every push of the gas.

• • • •

He slides down to the floor with his back against the wall, a new sob rising in his throat. He clenches his eyes closed and throws his head back.

He reluctantly pulls out his phone, slowly opening his eyes and going to his messages, opening the app and going straight for Elaine's contact.

His eyes scroll through all of the texts he's sent her in the past six days. He apologized about thirty times and called over fifty, each of his calls being declined. He had even left voicemails, but all of them have gone unanswered. He went as far as calling her parents and friends, all of them claiming to not know where you are. Though the talk with her father hadn't been the most uplifting, reasonably.

Eventually, he reaches the last text message you sent, and all of the emotions he felt when first reading it coursed through his body once again.

• • • •

One Week Ago

Calum sat in a booth at the bar, physically there but not mentally.

"You alright?" Andy asked, crossing his arms and placing them on the table before them.

"Hm?" Calum turns to his friend.

"You're spacing. Everything okay?"

Calum let out a sigh, not sure whether to lie and brush off his troubles or burst like a damn. He eventually chooses to go with the latter.

"It's Elaine," Calum muttered. "I said some crap before coming here and I don't know why I said it."

"What'd you say?" Andy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Complete bullshit," he was detested with himself. "I implied... implied that marrying her was a mistake."

Andy's eyes widen as his lips parted in disbelief.

"Please tell me you're joking," Andy groaned.

"I'm such a fucking prick," Calum looked up and inhaled.

"What the fuck, Cal? Why would you say something like that? You're always going on about how she's the best thing that's happened to you since the band."

"I know," he murmured. "I just... I was in the wrong, but I was being stubborn. She just wanted me to spend some time with her and Gray and my head was too far up my ass."

"You can't do shit like that, man," Andy frowned. "You've got a beautiful loving wife and a healthy four-year-old boy. Do you know how lucky you are? Your wife adores you and your son looks up to you. Why would you want to dent that all just for a couple drinks with us?"

"I-I don't know. I was talking crap, I didn't mean anything. I fucking love Elaine and Grayson is my lifeline. I'd go crazy if I lost them."

"So then why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you here when you should be telling Elaine all of this?"

Calum bit the inside of his cheek just as his phone vibrated. He pulled it from his back pocket and glanced at the most recent text.

'I'll give you time to yourself, just like you want'

His mouth grew sour at the message from his wife. What did it mean? Was she being passive aggressive?

With a sharp breath, he stood up and took long strides out of the bar. He hurried into his car and forgot to put his seat belt on at first due to his wariness.

When he pulled into his driveway thirty minutes later, he began to panic at the absence of Elaine's car. It was nearly eleven at night. Where could she be? On a drive? She did that sometimes when she needed to clear her mind.

He ran a hand through his hair as he walked into his house, an aura of emptiness instantly embracing him.

He took the feeling of homeliness for granted, he realized, as he stood there with a hole in his heart. He trudged up the stairs and walked into his room, another cloud of discomfort enveloping his body. His eyes went for the dresser, two of Elaine's drawers slightly pulled out and looking less full than usual.

Calum furrows his eyebrows and walks to the drawers, inspecting the difference in them. Had she taken clothes out? Why would she-

His entire body froze as a heartbreaking scenario entered his thoughts. He didn't hesitate to rush to their shared closet, his stomach sinking even more at the sight of a few of her missing clothes that he was so sure was there earlier.

"No, no, shit," he hissed to himself before taking off to Grayson's room, where a few of his toys were missing and half of his wardrobe from his closet and dresser.

He feels as if someone's punched him in the gut, leaving him winded and in pain.

"Gray," he whimpered, slouching again the side of the doorway. "Elaine."

He somehow made his way back to his bedroom, his energy nonexistent and emotion running low. He didn't know what to think or how to think.

All he knew was that his wife and son weren't gone forever. They'd come back. And he'd be right there when they do.

• • • •

"I'm so sorry, Baby," he cried quietly into his phone. "I didn't mean any of it. You're my world, you're both my entire world. I don't want to live without you, I don't like being without you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I knew it all along, I just didn't show it like I was supposed to. Please come back home. I don’t know what I was talking about," his voice cracks as more tears fall. "I love you, Angel. I love you so much, and I need you to know that."

When the voicemail goes through, he angrily throws his phone against the wall, heaving through his cries.

He spends the next hour sitting in that exact same position, doing nothing but staring at the wall in front of him.

“ I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean Just to be with you And fix what I've broken ”

But then there was a jingle of keys.

His ears perked at the sound of the front door unlocking, a part of him believing that his beloved wife and son had returned. Then he realized that he had been getting his hopes up all week only to be let down when his sister walks in.

With a huff, he rises onto his wobbly legs and trudges for the stairs, looking downwards and to the front door.

He watches as it opens, his dull eyes widening when the one person he's been craving all week is revealed on the other side.

Elaine.

She stands with a suitcase by her side, and when the door is fully open, her eyes wander to the stairs and then up them, landing on Calum.

They both were in a frigid state of shock, neither of them moving or saying a word.

That was until Elaine thought that the silence was enough.

"I," she began before lightly gulping. "I got your messages... and voicemails."

He didn't know how to respond. It was as if his body had gone straight into shock and he wouldn't be able to move for a while.

Then Grayson entered the doorway, his eyes connecting with his father's and his face lighting up.

“ 'Cause I need you to see That you are the reason ”

"Daddy!"

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