i-expect-you-to-quote

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

[after IEYTD 2]

HANDLER: I would say, mentally, I am not well.

HANDLER: Physically...also no.

HANDLER: But spiritually? —

HANDLER:

HANDLER: ...no.

(/ref)

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

AGENT PHOENIX: I hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process." Like hell if I know.

AGENT PHOENIX: [imitates Handler's voice] "What's going on in that head of yours?" Nothing I want to be a part of.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

ZORAXIS: [chaos and screaming in the background] Can you please come get your freak of an agent?! They're doing things!! [more explosions]

HANDLER: No, I set them loose on purpose. They need enrichment :)

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

GIBSON: Are you decent?

JUNIPER: Not morally, but I'm wearing pants, if that's what you're asking.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

HANDLER: Can you please behave?

AGENT PHOENIX: Yes, if I wanted to, but this is so much funnier.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

AGENT PHOENIX: Based on statistical evidence, I'm immortal.

HANDLER: How so?

AGENT PHOENIX: Haven't died yet :)

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

HANDLER: You know, agent — you're the only person I know who can make silence sarcastic.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

JOHN JUNIPER: *is masculine, but like in a peacock way*

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

[pre-IEYTD3)

AGENT PHOENIX: Accidentally indulged in too much "me time."

AGENT PHOENIX: Turns out I've been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

JUNIPER: Mean people are nice to me because I'm special. 😏

JUNIPER: [gets manipulated instead]

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

HANDLER: Is the equipment secure?

AGENT PHOENIX: Check.

HANDLER: Weapon loaded?

AGENT PHOENIX: Check.

HANDLER: Did you have breakfast?

AGENT PHOENIX: ...What? That's not on the checklist.

HANDLER: I added it because I care about you.

AGENT PHOENIX: No, I did not have breakfast.

HANDLER: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.

AGENT PHOENIX: [finds a granola bar in their pocket] Hey there's little chocolate chips in this!

HANDLER: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating their fiber.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

AGENT PHOENIX: My love language is the same as a crow.

AGENT PHOENIX: If you're nice to me, I'll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you.

HANDLER: [observing his array of useless little trinkets from Phoenix]

HANDLER:🥹

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

AGENT PHOENIX: I mean you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were gonna drown me in a river like a kangaroo.

ROXANA PRISM: [warm laughter of fond reminiscence] I did do that.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

ZOR: [monologuing to a captured Agent Phoenix] You know, agent, you're quite the enigma.

ZOR: No records. No passport. No ID. No birth certificate. No birth name. No gender.

AGENT PHOENIX: [nodding along] Yes, the only thing I'm legally classified as —

AGENT PHOENIX: [escapes restraints] — is "a problem." >:)

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

EOD AGENT: Aw, he's so cute!

AGENT PHOENIX: Thanks, he's a rescue.

JOHN JUNIPER: Stop telling people that.

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

AGENT PHOENIX: *gently headbutts Handler's shoulder to show affection*

HANDLER: *absentmindedly pats their entire face to acknowledge affection received*

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

HANDLER: Frankly, I'm up for anything that could reasonably be described as "shenanigans," though in a pinch, I am willing to settle for causing a ruckus.