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Hey there! Welcome to our Tumblr page! This is a post introducing...who we are!

Who Are We? Who Are You? Who Is Anybody?

Who Are You? Is a non-profit youth organization that consists of five members that have created a social campaign that is meant to let people on the internet and on social media know, all about its advocacy and beliefs: breaking stereotypes when it comes to gender and striving for gender equality.

Other than our Tumblr page, we have a link to our Facebook page, feel free to check it out as well!

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The Mysterious Medical Case of Marie Valencia

Pathography by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

[Trigger warning: The content that can be read can be considered as sensitive to any person, serving as a backstory studying previous events of my life that happened and what most likely led to my condition.]

The year 2015, although it was a great year and it paved so many good things I know now and love in the present, it was extremely terrible, horrible and dark with the events that had happened as the year had begun. I had to face studying in a school-a year after a traumatizing incident had happened to me-as my parents thought about transferring me to another school in high school, so I had to stay and survive an entire one more year in the place where I felt most unwelcomed and better to have been forgotten about-mainly because, people had twisted the story, making the victim look like the bad person, and the bullies were the ones who were misunderstood more. I considered myself as a misfit, an outcast from my peers, I was not lonely as I had two of my best friends at the time accompany me and gave me good advice that helped me to survive. It was really difficult-outweighing the fact of standing out, and the idea of wanting to fit in and be accepted, not seen as someone different from the rest of the group-while struggling to maintain good grades for the sake of my family. Every day in that school felt like a battle of insecurities, shame, and sadness, with the feeling of being a flightless bird stuck in a cage with no hope to escape until a year later.

One weekend back in January 2016, I started to feel some sort of pain in my chest. The pain felt like I ate something I could not digest quickly so it got stuck in my chest, but I had not eaten anything during that time, it was more of like something deep inside of me was sinking, and moments later it became hard to breathe. I kept panting, hyperventilating, constantly drank water, and when I saw my reflection in the mirror, my entire face was bright red, as if it were flushed, and even though I drank something, this feeling of sinking, did not stop right away. I remember that I fell asleep in my bed and when I woke up, the feeling had disappeared-it vanished and I felt better as soon as I got out of bed. When my mother got home from doing her errands, I told her about this feeling I had, and she suggested that we schedule an appointment with a doctor at the nearby hospital close to our home. 

By February, the hospital had to transfer our appointment to a different hospital since no doctor was available at the time to assist us with my check up. I remember riding a jeepney and walking far to a hospital that was across the municipal hall of the city. The doctor, who was a woman, asked me to explain what the problem was, and after I did, she checked my heartbeat, and then told my mother that she needed to have a look at my chest, because she believed what my problem was, was related or has something to do with my heart. Then next thing I knew, I was asked to change into hospital clothes, lie down on a bed, the doctor had applied some sort of jelly or oil to my chest and used something to scan and see the inside of my chest. After a while, she told my mother that when she looked at her monitor and saw what my heart had looked like, it had developed a small hole somewhere that could possibly grow big, mainly related to strong effects of my emotions.

This was when she explained how the hole is tied to my emotions, and advised me what to do, to go easy on myself, and learn to calm myself down whenever I would tear up and cry, as it would contribute to the hole in my heart tearing apart even more. My memory of this checkup is very vague, but I can assure anyone that the photos on the monitor showed the existence of this hole, and that my hearing is a hundred percent right as I listened carefully to the conversation the doctor had with my parent. I was supposed to be scheduled for a yearly checkup, but for some reason, my parents were never able to push through with it, and I had not seen the doctor for so many years since that one checkup, I cannot provide a picture of my medical record either, because my mother has no idea where she has kept the physical copy of it since then. If I can explain it better, according to Google, this problem of mine related to my heart could most likely be what is known as the Atrial Septal Defect (ASD), where there is a hole in between the two upper chambers of my heart, with the possibility of it existing since birth, as this can be passed down from family member to another family member. I could be wrong with the information about what my condition could possibly be, I can only give an update and confirm what it is the next time I will go to the hospital-which has not happened and cannot happen for a while because of COVID19.

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“Distant memories that are close to the heart” A Personal Narrative written by Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

When I was a kid, I was a hyper little girl who always wanted to do nothing but eat, do arts and crafts and play outdoors-it did not matter if it was with the family dog or if I had any playmates, and walk around the neighborhood with my grandfather. This first photo of mine is a photo that shows how sore my eyes are like its about to close-crying as I stared off into the distance sitting on the property of the neighbor across my grandparents’ house, in a pink dress and my outdoor slippers, because my two guy cousins came to visit us and they would not let me borrow their bike. I think I was five or six years old in this photo. I complained to my mother about it, how they claimed that “only boys can ride bikes” and I thought of how unfair they were as they did not want to share what they had. Later on, my parents did get me my first bike, I kept riding on using training wheels-since I was so scared I would fall off of my bike and hurt my knees-since I rode my bike without a helmet, arm and kneecaps on. I tried to ride my bike without the training wheels-my mother took them off for me, but I kept falling out of balance and I almost crashed into a car, and I stopped trying when I became interested in other things.

When I saw that photo in my phone’s gallery, I thought about how messy my childhood was. I did not pay that much attention to school at the time since I preferred always doing other things, but I still managed to get decent grades and awards for all those times I recited in class or participated in school activities like competitions. Besides that, I was this very sensitive cry-baby kid that easily teared up whenever I found myself having a hard time dealing with situations I found impossible to solve-like getting lost in the mall, not being strong enough to open stuff, not being tall enough to reach stuff, breaking things on accident, getting caught in the middle of fights between my relatives or parents, and getting affected with how my classmates would tease me and call me names since second grade of elementary school. I was mostly teased because I kept speaking in English in the classroom of my school when I was talking to my classmates-since English is my first language, and not Filipino, this was the language I use and have always used to communicate with other people. Although I never really understood why I was always made fun of or mocked by my classmates, I never did anything wrong to them other than trying to defend myself by throwing their comments about me back at them, which resulted in threats and tantrums and meetings that involved my advisor speaking to my parents. 

Sometimes I was also at fault, but now that I am older I understand how some of the remarks my old classmates gave to me were childish and could have been forgotten after a day or two as a kid-just silly teasing and kid fights. What I do not seem to understand was how when I changed schools, by the last two months of the fifth grade, when I was new to using social media, on my mother’s old laptop, when I opened Facebook, I became a victim of being cyberbullied by my own classmates. To cut the story short, I was made fun of online in our group chat-not just for speaking in English, but for being sensitive, for the way I looked-I was called ugly and an absolutely ugly crier, how my own classmates did not want me to be their classmate for the next school year, how they did not want to work with me in groups, and how they did not want to be my friend, but what made me upset was when my mother got involved-how they trash talked my parent. They also made nasty comments about my other classmates. After I read all of their comments, I broke down and cried, my mother was able to handle the situation by providing screenshots and before the recognition day of fifth grade ended, there was a meeting that involved the parents of my classmates, the school principal, the guidance counselor and my advisor at the time, when that was taken care of, anyone would expect that everything would have been forgiven and everyone would move on, everything would have been fine-except that it wasn’t, my classmates who hated me, just hated me even more the year after that incident happened, and I found myself in the company of two people who became my grade school best friends.

Other than that, I noticed how I as well started to change the year after-although I have always been in love with listening to music, Lady Gaga and Kesha serving as the first two female artists that made me enjoy my childhood taste in music, I became more interested in listening to sad music, alternative or indie and rock and roll playing songs on YouTube on the internet. Some of the songs I would listen to were written by Gorillaz (“I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad, I got sunshine in a bag, I’m useless, but not for long, the future-it's coming on” -Clint Eastwood, 2001), Avril Lavigne (“Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby? Right now I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real” -Losing Grip, 2002), Evanescence (“Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you: 50,000 tears I’ve cried, screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you, and you still won’t hear me?” -Going Under, 2003), Breaking Benjamin (“You had to have it all, well have you had enough? You greedy little bastard, you will get what you deserve. When all is said and done, I will be the one to leave you in misery and hate what you’ve become. Heaven, help you!” -Had Enough, 2006) Anna Blue (“Who will care if I’m not here? If suddenly I disappeared? No one’s gotta notice it at all” -So Alone, 2011), The Neighborhood (“I think I talk too much/ I spend too much time explaining myself, I hope there’s some time to change it” -Cry Baby, 2015), Fall Out Boy (“I’m just a problem that doesn’t wanna be solved so could you please hold your applause? Take this sideshow and all its freaks, and turn it into the silver screen dream” -Novocaine, 2015), Panic! At The Disco and Paramore. I wore my earphones or headphones most of the time whenever I was outside of the house, on the way to school, playing music during recess and lunch break, and when I would go home in the afternoon-in order to avoid conversing with people who did not like me and to keep myself busy during free time. I was so invested in the lyrics, and searched for more artists on the internet that made music that sort of suited this new taste of mine. Music also shaped me with my interest in fashion-I liked wearing long sleeved- sweaters, jackets, with hoodies I can wear in public, baggy jeans and leggings, boots, and shirts that had statements like relatable quotes or just song lyrics-at this point, I realized what an emo kid I was-because other than my choice of clothing, my hairstyle at the time seemed to suit that style as well. 

With the help of music, I had grown out of my super-sensitive childish phase, I became more quiet and silent around other people and only paid attention to my interests. I became too numb to cry over what made me sad, but my eyes have never looked any darker because of the countless nights I have stayed up so late thinking about my life as I look around the dark corners of my room. I had learned the difference between being an emo kid and a goth, as I am heavy reliant on music, my mental issues and emotions-although not all the time I am able to express or show it to others, and my love for music with so many songs that I am able to connect with on a certain level, even my fashion screams “emo-sad kid”, if I were a goth, I would have been interested in anything horrific or scary that has art or beauty in it-whether it is actual art, literature, fashion, music, even food. I have no problem with how I label or present myself-this is just how I am, with the events of the past making up who I am and what I do in the present. Though I am still allowing myself to heal and to let go of the pain, by giving myself time and making sure that I live my life being nothing but kind and living at my own pace.

[iam-valrie]

“Chaos & Harmony” from  D I V A  F A S H I O N

A Fashion Editorial article by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

See PDF File 

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My submission for the Wardrobe Challenge in Creative Nonfiction class Submitted by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

Online class

Street Fashion

Loungewear

See PDF File

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My photo submission for the college library’s Book Spine Poetry Contest in school

Submitted by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

“Five summers

Before I fall,

Along came a spider...

The diary of a Young Girl

An extraordinary life!”

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“How I am able to relate to the true story the film-’Prayers for Bobby’ was based from”

Reflective Essay (Not a movie review) written by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

After watching the 2009 Drama film known as “Prayers for Bobby” starring Sigourney Weaver and Ryan Kelley presented in the Google Meet meeting by my teacher in Creative Nonfiction class, there are a lot of things that I was able to realize. I have learned so much about the story-all based on a true story-the story of Mary Griffith herself and her son Bobby Griffith. In this essay, I will share my own story and experience related to the events of the film-or rather, the true story that happened to the characters in real life, at the same time try to prevent myself from sharing too many spoilers for people who have not seen the film yet. Anyone can read the plot or summary of the film on Wikipedia. It can also be watched on this YoutTube link I believe is the same link my teacher presented in our gmeet class. 

When I was a young teenager, I never found myself questioning my sexuality like other people I knew, mainly because I considered myself as a girl who has had previous crushes on boys and thought of having one as a partner and marrying one as a husband in the future. But I never experienced any issues with people who became honest with their sexuality towards me and told me that they are part of the LGBTQ+ community, most of them have become my dearest friends now that are able to freely express themselves-their personality around me, as well as I am able to freely express myself and my personality around them, though I make sure that the jokes I throw at them are not sensitive to who they are, being cautious and careful with my words making sure I do not say something unintentional that can offend them or hurt their feelings. Most of my friends are bisexual, and other friends I have who are considered straight like I am-say that they do not have any issues with people part of the LGBTQ+ community and would love to have them as friends, but not as partners. We are all open to each of our ideas about being in relationships and our sexualities. My mother has also told me before that back when she was working, she had so many friends who are gay, some now turned transgender, and she said they are really fun people to be with and hang out with, and I can agree on that as some of her friends have become my aunts and uncles and as a child I also found myself enjoying being in their company and looking up to them as the fun adults we both knew. 

I have also had teachers that are gay, other friends that are also gay, and to me, being around them and seeing their personality shine makes me want to make the people they will eventually meet in the future and fall in love with realize just how special they are being themselves. My friends and I also look up to international singers from the music industry that are part of the LGBTQ+ community as well, singers like Hayley Kiyoko, Halsey, Tove Lo, Troye Sivan, Lynn Gunn, Fletcher, Pabllo Vittar and Kim Petras-listen to their music days on end, inspired by the way they freely express themselves through music. These previously mentioned singers have taught me growing up how it’s okay to be yourself and never apologize for being who you are, and loving what you love, loving who you want to love, and these are lessons I remind my friends of every time they feel insecure or ashamed of themselves. Though, one true issue here is how my friends are not able to freely be themselves around other people-like our classmates, schoolmates, teachers, relatives-even their parents, with the initial thought that they will not be accepted for being who they are. My mother has met some of my friends and she was able to tell and figure out their sexuality somehow-and I was surprised by it but she explained she already knew since her friends acted like how my friends act like now, and she has always been open to other people and has accepted their personality no matter what, and she never told me to keep my distance from my friends or stop being friends with them, so I stick around with them and I will stick around with them until our hairs turn gray for real and without any hair dyes. She never also thought about telling their parents about her observations about my friends either since she knows it's none of her business, and it’s the responsibility of my friends to tell their parents about their sexuality-which until this very day, they are working on, I can tell, no doubt. 

I know about how worried my friends are about their parents finding out about who they really are-since some of their parents are very much religious-whether they are Christian or Catholic-they are those types of parents who are very much devoted to their religion and also believe that God only created one man and one woman. But I know that they do not, and I cannot blame them, since they practically grew up with this teaching-depending on what has been written in the Bible. This enters another true issue I can see-that is related to any teenager’s problem with their parents-how they are not able to connect or see each other eye to eye, mainly because of their beliefs. I have seen news on social media of parents disowning their children, the second they have disobeyed them-whether it was choosing to not finish school, not getting the job the parents wanted, entering a relationship with someone else when dating has rules and is forbidden, and sometimes when the child just defended themself, the parents think of it as a way of “answering back” when they are not supposed to. And it’s very sad, and heartbreaking, how my friends have developed that fear, that all of the love their family has for them, might disappear in a blink of an eye, if they had an open forum kind of conversation, so I get why they are scared. But like the priest said in the film, the markings and teachings in the Bible were written by people who disapproved of what was considered as “heinous acts” during the time they were alive, everything has practically changed now, during this age and time-it’s a new era we live in now. 

A lot of people have become open to children just wanting to be kids and to play with the toys the opposite gender has, people who prefer wearing the clothes of the opposite gender, people who love people of the same gender, people who believe they were born in the wrong body, people who want to change, in order to be themselves. That is why I think, parents, even when they have disagreements with their children, must be open to all of their thoughts and ideas, without an initial reaction of wanting to change their mind, change who they are, stop them from what they are thinking, or even wanting to kick them out of the house. It is not easy for teenagers-mostly, to figure everything out, not every teenager can have all the answers to their questions, sometimes life can be confusing, and that should be considered as okay, the teenager should not be looked down upon for being uncertain or unsure, they are teenagers after all, they will learn everything eventually when not rushed, when allowed to live at their own pace. Now that parents mostly work from home, they should take the opportunity to talk with their children, and understand their behavior, why are they acting the way that they are, and what can they do in order to help them with their problems. Since I cannot insert myself in between the conversations my friends have with their parents, all I can do is have hope that one day, there will come a time when they can converse about life, about themselves freely, without any judgment from their mothers and fathers or guardians, where they can say what they want without a second thought or to hesitate, because their parents themselves are willing to sit down and listen to the voices of their children, before anything else happens. 

Though this was not the same with how Mary Griffith dealt with Bobby in real life, I believe the movie can serve as a reminder to the children and their parents how communication is not the key to understanding one another, but comprehension and patience out of love is, in order to build a deeper and meaningful bond and connection between families, that not all children need to be healed, some, just need to be heard, before time runs out. 

A picture from a scene in the movie, and a picture of the Griffith parents at PFlag

May Mary Griffith rest in peace, for her change of heart and mind, was able to contribute to help so many families change and accept their children’s sexuality just as they are.

[iam-valrie]

“The Girl with the Golden name”

Character Sketch written by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

On November 17, 2003, a baby Filipina girl was born. She’s got a brother, just a year older, which makes her the younger sibling. As she grew up, she started to look like her mother, if someone saw them side by side next to each other, they would be able to see how she’s the mini version of her mother. She has long black hair, a slim figure, nearsighted vision, needs to wear eyeglasses, is five-foot inches tall, often really quiet. Her name was derived from a Late Latin female name that meant the word “Golden”. In this essay, I will share how I got to know my friend Aurea Christine M. Seno, and what makes her personality as gold as her name is. 

I met Aurea three years ago, when I was a new student in the University of Perpetual Help System, in Binan City, Laguna-a Grade 9 student, along with our two other friends-Bhea Bantatua and Jeremy Almenanza. Bhea helped me communicate with Aurea, due to introverted-ness, she could not make any first moves with the new people she met, because of her shyness. Aurea was so shy to the point that when the teachers called her to recite, she spoke shortly and quietly, there was even a time I told her to repeat what she said to the teacher out loud in class, at school parties, she was a wallflower, she did not like to dance, she did not like to sing, she would rather sit around on the bleachers saving most of her energy. Years after, I have observed how she has been able to gain confidence even as an introvert, like when it comes to talking to people to get what she needs and wants-strangers in public, the classmates she has in online classes, and users she gets to play online games with, she stands tall and still as she walks, she makes eye contact with the people she talks with, and she is a go-to person willing to do anything with you for any activity: grocery shopping, store shopping, food tripping, travelling, exercising, almost any activity. “I am introverted around people I do not know that well of yet, although I like making new friends, I can’t always think of a conversation starter other than greeting the other person but I will talk to them when I have to, I’m confident when I am around people I know and trust, yet whether I am close with someone, I know well or not, I can’t handle or take any compliments they give, I-I’m just not used to it, so no compliments please!”she told me, flattered as she giggled.  

Aurea knows just how introverted she used to be when she was younger, when we were in ninth grade of Junior High, and how introverted she still is now. She sees herself as someone who is able to express herself when around other people, at the same time, has a mysterious charisma, around people who do not entirely know her. She finds it hard to accept genuine compliments people tell her, finds it awkward and becomes shy with no idea how to respond or reply to the person who said so, claiming it is not true. She wishes to always be a “Happy-Go-Lucky” kind of girl, despite the problems and past experiences she has had with life. Passing through life positively, chilling and relaxing no matter what happens. 

Her ultimate goal in life is to finish her studies, doesn’t matter what award or certificate she receives, as long as she can graduate to find a job that will make her and her parents happy. What motivates her to achieve her goal are the dreams she has in mind after she finishes her studies and gets accepted with whatever job the world has to offer her, dreams to provide for her family, fulfill her wishes to become successful, and the other dreams she has, the freedom to do what she wants the moment she starts working. She fears the events of the future, by overthinking what will happen to her, as well as losing her loved ones, her friends drifting away, she also fears heights-it overwhelms her, and jumping amphibians like frogs and toads. Her weakness is when the people she cares about start to avoid or leave her, when she has no one to rely on when she is stressed out, and when her friends and family fight with each other, her strength is her family and her friends, people she can rely on when she feels down, comfort food-her favorite meals and snacks to eat keep her happy and give her the energy she needs. Her emotional management when it comes to her feelings involves talking to other people about how she feels, when she is by herself she watches movies or plays games to calm down, and cries out loud to people she trusts to release some aggression and frustration. 

Although Aurea sees herself as an ordinary, regular introverted and shy type of girl, as one of her friends, I see her differently. As a daughter, she is well-behaved, obedient and independent, to her friends she is caring, patient, understanding, agreeableness is her personality trait-for she is always willing to lend a hand if you need hers, and supportive, to other people, she is always curious and interested to know more about them, about anything. She enjoys her own company and is able to keep herself busy and entertained by either listening to pop music, watching Korean dramas and anime, or playing her favorite game which is Call of Duty as these hobbies of hers interest her. Above all, she is a kind person, who just finds it difficult to accept compliments even if people genuinely mean it. I do believe though that as she continues to fall in love with being who she is, she will later on start to see the natural beauty she is and accept how her friends see her-the always Alluring and Adorable, our one and only Aurea. 

[iam-valrie]

“About Adele on ‘30′”

Reaction/Review paper written by Marie Rosalina Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz) 

Famous English singer and songwriter Adele Laurie Blue Adkins (just known as Adele) has returned to the studio and has recorded her new album “30”-her fourth studio album released after six years. Her album was released on November 19, 2021-a month after she released her single “Easy on Me”. According to Genius, other than Adele herself, the writers of the songs from the album were Erroll Garner, musicians Inflo, Ludwig Göransson, producers Greg Kurstin, Max Martin, Tobias Jesso Jr. and Shellback. Other musicians include Chris Dave, Joey Pecoraro, David Campbell and Serena Göransson. The sound engineers who worked on her album were also Inflo, Riley Mackin, Shawn Everett, Steve Churchyard, Tom Campbell, Alex Pasco, Brian Rajaratnam, Julian Berg, Randy Merrill, Bryce Bordone, Todd Monfalcone, Șerban Ghenea, John Hanes, Matt Scatchell, and Tom Elmhirst.

The “30” album includes twelve hits on the tracklist if not looking at the Target Exclusive tracklist. The first song is “Stranger’s By Nature”, second song is “Easy on Me”, third song is “My Little Love”, fourth song is “Cry Your Heart Out”, fifth song is “Oh My God”, sixth song is “Can I Get It”, seventh song is “I Drink Wine”, eighth song is “All Night Parking” where Erroll Garner was featured with his great piano skills, ninth song is “Woman Like Me”, tenth song is “Hold On”, eleventh song is “To Be Loved” and the twelfth and last song is “Love is a Game”. On the Target Exclusive tracklist, the order of the twelve hits is the same-the songs that follow after considering the album as the deluxe version already in order are “Wild Wild West”, “Can’t Be Together”, and the duet version of “Easy on me” that featured Chris Stapleton-consisting a total of fifteen hits. 

Each of the songs have their own meaning based on how the listener interprets the message or the lyrics of it-although the official meaning of the songs can be found on Genius some annotated by the fans and followers of the singer, and some annotated by Adele herself through interviews. Adele expresses her sincerity by being open to the listeners about the experiences and problems she has been facing recently-about her divorce with her ex-husband Simon Konecki, being famous, being a mother raising a child despite being famous, and having to deal with the pain of heartache and heartbreak and how she was able to get through it all. 

As a music lover, I have heard some of Adele’s previous albums with the help of my mother since she was the one who was mostly interested to hear Adele’s work. I was glad to know that Adele was back after a while on hiatus and I have listened to “30” alone twice on SoundCloud and Spotify and after hearing all of the songs the second time, I have realized how there are three songs on the album I was able to relate to and would play on repeat in a single day. The three songs I liked listening to are as follows-first song I liked is “Cry Your Heart Out” because of the lyrics “When I walk in a room I’m invisible, I feel like a ghost”, “I created this storm, it’s only fair I have to sit in its rain” and “When you’re in doubt, go at your own pace”, second and third songs I liked are from the deluxe version of the album “Wild Wild West”’s lyrics “From LA to San Francisco, I lost my mind in San Bernardino, even Chula Vista and Modesto, I break my heart wherever I go” and “Can’t Be Together”’s bridge “Since we were together everybody's change, our reflections in the mirror no longer look the same. And we're only just beginning to live the lives we'll make, but I will always miss you at the end of each day” and the outro “But we can't be together.. no, we won't be together”. I love how Adele was experimenting with her sound in music by changing her style a bit compared to her other albums. I would rate the album 9/10, mainly because only these three songs stood out to me even though the other songs sound great, some of the songs on the album sound a bit repetitive with the music-but that’s just my opinion and critique on it. 

Anyone can listen to Adele’s brand new album “30” as long as the songs stay uploaded for free on various music applications and websites. 

Photo from Billboard

[iam-valrie]

“How one person’s thoughts perceives their reality”

Song Association essay written by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

People have the ability to do anything-they set their mind to-whatever activity it may be, as long as they think about it. Oxford Languages describes thinking as the process of a person using their mind to contemplate and form a judgement over something. While thinking, a set of ideas is created known as thoughts. Murdock (2020) shared new research on the brain that an average person could have more than 6,000 thoughts in a single day. After thoughts are born, they could lead the brain to do, and the mind to ponder a lot of things. Frontiers (2017) stated that scientists have discovered that thoughts can trigger a person’s emotions or the way they feel, leading to possibly experiencing an emotional reaction wherein their brain will change what is going on with their body, in the way it responds. This just goes to show that thoughts can influence the way a person acts, behaves or responds to physical activity outside of their mind. Question is-can one person’s thoughts become their perception of what is real, or their reality? 

To serve as an example of thinking, I will be giving my insights on an anthology with the title “Lost Self and Recurring Patterns: A Collection of Hallucination, Depression, and Confusion”, by my teacher Sir William Obrero. The title of the first poem is “Prelude to Cognitive Dissonance”, which introduces 10 different people as personalities that form the acronym M.A.R.C.I.E.J.H.U.N, which stand for Maridel, Alec, Ralph, Chris, Ian, Esther, Julia, Huan, Uie James, and Nelly. It started with Maridel narrating who they are, followed by introducing the others. Somehow, I found it easy to understand what the poem was trying to point out-it made me think of the mental disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D in short. I thought of the song “Hello” by the band Evanescence not just because there were introducing themselves to the readers of the poem, but also because of the lyrics of the song-in my own interpretation, it is how the mind speaks to the person, that it is there to comfort them, especially during the time the person was stressed out, this does not mean that I do not acknowledge the existence of D.I.D, it is a very controversial topic of an illness that is still being discussed until this very day, and it exists as there’s already provided evidence to show it but the song to me just means that when we are alone with our thoughts, it’s the only thing that’s around to provide us company, so we have to listen to everything it has to say. 

The title of the next or the second poem is “Life in Numbers”, which is narrated by Alec, sharing what their life was like when they were still a kid, then when they became a teenager, and later on a full grown adult. After a series of their different experiences growing up, from not being able to wait to grow old, Alec wished they could go back in time to when they had not grown up yet-back to when they were younger. The feeling of wishing to age more is something not only adults but also teenagers can relate to. It’s ironic how when people are young, they can’t stop talking about wanting to grow old, but when they do become old or reach a certain age, they then can’t stop talking about how they wish they were younger, wishing they could travel through time-I can say I am one of those people, and I can relate to the message of the poem. Of wanting to go back to being a child where all I had to do after playing was sleep, when I was curious about everything, but did not know that much about everything, back to a time I had less problems to deal with. The poem made me think about a song with the title “Field of Innocence'' by Evanescence which the singer sings the same thoughts about how she recalls her past, her childhood and how she wants to go back to those carefree days, and expresses how unprepared she was to exchange it all for the events of the real world-the adult world. 

The title of the third poem is “A piece of his loving memory” which was narrated by Ralph, having to deal with loss, the death of a loved one, particularly their father. The poem, from the way I see it, shows how Ralph experienced the 5 stages of grief-denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It's very touching, and the words that were used and connected are really able to make the readers envision what Ralph’s feelings. For this poem, I was reminded of the song “My Immortal” again, another song by my favorite band Evanescence which is a song about how the death of a loved one affects the singer, and how the memories of the person haunts them, and they can feel their presence or their spirit surrounding or is still with them. It is as if Ralph still has a piece of their father’s loving memory in the poem, and in the song, it sings how their loved one still has “all of them”. 

The title of the fourth poem is “A graph of a one-sided limit (not a love story)” narrated by Chris, who I think is trying to explain how their love was returned by their person of interest. Because this person could just love them like a sibling, or even worse a friend. Chris stated in the last line that when love does not win-although the term “Love Wins' ' literally exists, to Chris, it's a lesson to learn. They were defeated, they were let down and lost, their story with the other person ended tragically rather than what they expected it to be. A song I think that really fits the poem would be the famous “Hello” by Lionel Richie, because the message of the song alone screams how the singer’s love is one-sided and they’re curious to know if the person they love is either lonely or has a lover, wondering how to win their heart and tell them how they really feel.

The title of the fifth poem is “INRI (Don’t Stop; Keep Going) '' that is a poem that can be read from top to bottom or vice versa, the message is well received regardless. It makes me imagine how Ian-the narrator has been hit, and they’re weak, they’re hurt, down on their needs or maybe even bleeding, over something that happened. Could have been an accident, maybe it was intentional, it also made me think that they were confronted by someone else who was with them because of how the conversations were formed. After reading it from the bottom to the top, I thought that maybe Ian had seen a light in the darkness, to save them, a powerful entity that felt them and saw right through their pain, as if they were saved by the Creator. I dedicate the song “Without You” by GEMS to this poem because even though the song is dedicated to a lover, it made me think about how God is willing to risk saving His children as He has done it before, even on the verge of death, He will be there to not just heal the ones who might lose their lives but to also heal the injured, the ones in pain, and the ones who are broken.

The title of the sixth poem is “A sage in every inscription”, which looks like a self-reflection from the narrator-Esther, trying to communicate with the author-probably the person who owns the body the other personalities share with-about something they are aware and know is true. Like a wake up call, for the author to open their eyes and face what’s real instead of believing what seems to be obviously fake-revolving around who they are. Around the personality of the author, and what makes them who they are. It reminded me of the song written by another favorite band of mine-”Waking Up” by PVRIS which makes one person acknowledge what’s going on with them, whatever could be bothering them, and to encourage them to stand up against it. 

The title of the seventh poem is “To The Little Prince”-if the poem was a song, it would sound like an absolute DISS track, a bop, about calling out someone Julia-the narrator must have loved. With their attempt to show the person they had feelings for how one-sided their love really was, probably a toxic type of boy-little prince rather. Someone who was in love with someone else-another person to victim, in Julia’s perspective. I dedicate the song-“Little Boy” by Ashnikko, (the clean version of the song of course), because Ashnikko sings how she’s tired of loving a boy who does not know what to do with her love-in that case, it’s as if Julia’s lover doesn’t just not feel the same way towards them, but also, he fails to acknowledge their feelings towards him. It’s meant to keep Julia uplifted, with the ability to call out the dude for their mistakes, and feel glad for being able to get rid of someone like him. And that eventually, like they claimed in the poem, they will find a better little prince that will value, appreciate and definitely deserve them in the future. 

The title of the eighth poem is “Wetdream” narrated by Huan, who happens to be asleep, and dreaming. Inside their dream, they are lost, in a dark place, yet they are able to move and still see the direction of where they are going, and Huan just happens to both witness and experience something unintentional, unholy and inappropriate. After what happened, I would like to think that Huan could have been confused with how they felt-it could not have been admiration, or desire, not even love. If I were Huan I would be confused, I would feel scared and traumatized. For this poem I would suggest the song “Paralyzed” by NF, for what Huan must have been thinking the moment it ended-but it would just probably explain what I felt reading their poem more than what they were actually feeling. 

The title of the ninth poem is “A call for change” where Uie James narrates a letter they probably wrote to Mr. X, which I believe is the system that controls all other schools with higher power and authority, that sets rules and regulations for students from primary to tertiary level of education. I believe that this poem really spoke to me the most. It was as if I was having a conversation with Uie James about how flawed school is-although school does help children with planning for their future, the expectations and pressure, experiences with other people (traumatic kind) can have an affect the performance of one student, harm their mental health and maybe even themselves. “The Logical Song” by Supertramp questions what kind of person does school want their students to become-with the kind of students they are currently. Getting through high school is hard for everyone at some point, they have to work hard for their future, surviving it does not make it that easy especially for children that do not have strong mindsets. 

The title of the tenth and last poem of this anthology is “Because you are immortalized.”-yes, with a period at the end, with narrator Nelly letting the people who are reading their poem know that although you can be more than who you are, you are enough, and you can do anything. I have always been that type of person who was able to detect their own flaws, their insecurities, I also like to criticize and doubt myself, point out how wrong I am over something or over my thoughts about someone, and I know that it is wrong of me to keep doing so. I have done nothing but cause myself harm by continuously restricting myself from the things that make me happy. This poem was able to comfort me and reassure me that there is no problem with me, but rather, the problem is how I see myself with what I think about. I kept re-reading it while playing the song “I am already enough” by Rachael Schroeder from Fearless Soul, which matches the message the poem sends to its readers-and it makes me like myself a little more.

After finishing reading the entire anthology I have somewhat been able to form a conclusion for the question I asked in the first paragraph of my essay. As it was explained, a person’s brain can control the movements and reaction of the body depending on the emotion they feel-therefore centered around their thoughts. A person’s thoughts can be so strong to have an impact on them and the people around them. Which means if they let their thoughts overpower reality, it becomes their reality, by letting it control their vision and belief towards people, things and the world. A human can produce as many thoughts as they can, let it deceive what they see-a part of what makes humans complex beings. Yet if one person decides to listen to what all their thoughts say, they will not be able to fully attain peace within themselves and with others. It’s important to always have someone to talk to, a go-to person who is willing to listen to what you have to rant or vent about, someone to turn to when you are lost and in need of advice, because if you cannot communicate what you are thinking about to others, maybe you should consider to write it on paper, and reflect on why you are thinking it, why it came across your minds, and if it's worth the time to ponder on.

[iam-valrie]

“Changes of COVID19″

Kabataan Essay for the Youth written by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

So much has changed in the lives of so many people ever since the breaking news about COVID19 was shared to so many newspapers, radio and television stations and online websites that publish articles for people to read. Before countries were put on lockdown, people were advised already to wear face masks whenever they were outdoors. They had to evacuate where they were by having buildings full of businesses, like resorts, restaurants and malls or shops stop services an hour or few hours early before the regular time of it closing, wait in long lines at grocery stores to purchase the needed groceries, and observe curfew hours in a certain city or state in the country. Some schools had to cut class hours, some schools had students pack up all of their things early before the last day of classes, and students had to submit their assignments a few days earlier before the actual date of the deadline, as the school had to be disinfected with a spray created for the virus. At that point, not a lot of people were able to go out of their homes, some places looked like a ghost town with nothing but silence, and students were left wondering when would the date of school recognition or graduation-depending on the grade level be, when would they be able to see their teachers, friends and classmates again, when would they be able to visit the school again, and how it was going to end.  

I remember back in March of 2020, how I was one of the students days before the president of the Philippines announced that the country was about to go on lockdown, that went to school to submit my assignments in the school faculty where most of the teachers were, leaving folders, notebooks, scrapbooks, and papers on their desks. I had rush to go to school even when classes ended to make sure my teachers had checked my work before the school completely shut down, although there was that one time I left an important assignment at home, that I had to travel from the university all the way back home just to get it, then go back to the school in order to submit it, before the door of the faculty was left on lock or closed. I even went to different nearby computer shops just to go online and search for something I needed on the borrowed computer, used my USB to print something, and asked to have it xerox copied following the request of one of my teachers. After taking care of all of my submissions, I was finally able to spend some time with my friends by roaming around the school like we always did debating where to eat good lunch or staying somewhere outdoors that was cold and we had easy access to the school WiFi, talking about people, ranting about the assignments or classmates that were annoying us, while we ate and drank and used our phones. Before the day ended, we all went home at the same time waiting for a ride by the entrance of the university, thinking about when would be the next time we would hang out again, and I remember thinking that the lockdown probably would not last that long, maybe it will stick around for a week or two, but little did I know that I was wrong. 

For the first two months of the lockdown (April to May 2020) I mostly had to stay at home, only went outside to go grocery shopping at the nearby convenient stores like AlfaMart or 7/11. I was not able to see my friends yet I found ways to keep myself busy for most of the time during summer break by doing what I could at home-cleaning my bedroom by rearranging the furniture, organizing my wardrobe, putting away my belongings in drawers or boxes they belonged in,  throwing out stuff I could no longer use or could be considered useful and sweeping the shelf full of books some I was able to read. I also became interested in doing arts and crafts again by writing all about the things I love in my journals, designing a scrapbook I owe full of memories before and during the pandemic, writing letters I wrapped up and sealed I planned to give to my friends, as well as learned how to properly gift wrap presents. I found these activities very fun, but it was still hard for me to adjust to the system that the lockdown was during that time, other things I did other than that and household chores and errands was to use my phone to clean its storage to be able to use more of its space, scrolled social media out of boredom until I became burnt out with everything I saw related to COVID19, played music and watched a lot of videos on YouTube, and I even got to try online shopping by using my remaining allowance from school on Shopee. By June, I was able to go to the mall and after, visit my grandparents-by October, I was able to meet up with my friends 7 months after we last saw each other back in March, and 3 months after we started online classes in Senior high school. 

As 2020 continued on, I started to notice so many changes with the outbreak of the virus on the news. Filipinos were fighting to keep their jobs as a lot of other people in the country had lost it and had to think and look for alternatives just to feed their families-like the Jeepney drivers who went on a strike with the news about how their vehicles were soon meant to be replaced by modern jeepneys that were being invented and tested in Manila, a lot of small businesses opened up a lot of opportunities from people who had lost their jobs, grocery stores constantly ran out of rubbing alcohol, wipes, tissue paper rolls that other people had to fight other people for, it became advisable to order food and items online delivered directly at home instead of going out to the restaurant or mall where a person could make contact with another person without knowing whether or not they have the virus, temperature checkers at malls were taken seriously although other people made fun of it and turned it into a meme on social media, meetings that were meant to happen in person, face to face had to be done through the use of applications and websites that offer voice and video calls like Google Meet, Messenger and Zoom, and forgetting to wear a mask and bringing a face shield had consequences as it already became part of everyone’s everyday use and modern fashion. 

Since most students in the country have started their classes with the help of moodles and modules, it has become difficult for some to make friends with their own classmates as communication is not frequent outside of class hours or it can be considered as awkward online. As a requirement for teachers to recognize their students, they must have working cameras and microphones to use during classes, that not all are able to provide-some students only have one working device that they use for everyday use other than school. Not to mention, how slow the internet connection can be living in a third world country. It has also been observed how students get burned out or drained easily from doing a lot of assignments other than quizzes, class recitations and listening to the discussion of their teachers at home, from Monday to Friday. Using social media has become so toxic with every post and feature it has-there is a clash between the posts of the privileged and unprivileged people, people who became famous overnight that their followers noticed later on do not deserve their fame for doing something so simple or silly easily consumed by their own fame, and how cyberbullying and scamming others has become a common trait for all platforms. 

Another thing on social media, a lot of children and teenagers have become exposed to its usage that they started joining the latest trends and wanted to look like other people who were older than them-rushing to grow up to look like all these models, celebrities and influencers who were known to using filters, photoshopping their photos and even undergoing surgery procedures to have their faces and bodies done to look attractive. They would even dress up wearing clothes that are revealing, showing their bare skin, inspired by their role models, when they do not realize their own age gap between them and the people that inspire them, as well as how they are able to handle the risky situations of social media like predators grabbing and stealing their photos for personal use, being bashed or catcalled online, as their bodies are underdeveloped yet and they do not have the proper mindset like their role models have to handle situations like that-the way a child or a teenager thinks is different from how an adult thinks-there is a big difference with their way of thinking. As a teenager, I have experienced other people grabbing my pictures and making multiple fake accounts using my name on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, yet the photos the person I knew grabbed were not photos of me wearing anything revealing or sexy, I did not set these photos on Facebook to a set of specific friends only at the time, yet with the help of my friends we reported the accounts that used my photos and after a week they all disappeared from Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. There is nothing wrong with children and teenagers having fun or the way they want to express themselves or show themselves off on social media, but they should realize the risk of uploading their photos online and how the actions of other users can affect their mentality when they do not know how to handle the situation-even when they claim that they do, it should be notable that they only share it to people they really trust, like a handful of their friends and family only instead of the public eye full of people who do not have good intentions, and make sure not to engage in conversations with them-what is uploaded on the internet, even after it has been deleted, somehow, stays on the internet forever. However, it is ideal for children and teenagers to wear what they want to wear by the age of consent in their country or state, with the permission of their parents and when they best know how to deal with the ugly side of posting on social media. 

Each and every person nowadays lives in a world where everyone is more connected to their devices and the internet and would prefer to be at home than to go out into nature and enjoy its beauty-people now prefer to stay in their houses, indoors instead of going outside frequently for outdoor activities, because of COVID19. So much has indeed changed since last year with the restrictions and rules of living in a pandemic, under a lockdown across countries, and being introduced to a new way of living-overwhelming news such as adults losing their jobs and looking for alternatives by starting small businesses, students having to attend their classes in school online and posts that can be seen on social media uploaded by children and teenagers. Even though it is considered dangerous to be outdoors as one person can easily attract the fatal virus, it cannot be prevented from visiting the homes of many people even though they are at home. Same with using the internet like social media-it has both its good and bad effects but mostly the bad effects can be observed outweighing the good effects. Although all of these are easier to point out and notice, the fact that us Filipinos are able to make do with the system, we are open to change and are willing to change as we face the changes of COVID19, it shows how we are able to thrive and survive, despite all odds, have hope with what is yet to come, unknown whether or not this pandemic will come to an end later or sooner.

[iam-valrie]

“1am in Isolation”

Spoken Word Poem written by: Marie Rosalina D. Valencia (Grade 12 HUMSS Quartz)

[Road sign used: !Danger! Falling Debris

The figures of speech used for this( Allusion, Anaphora, Anthypophora, Apostrophe, Polysyndeton and Metaphor) have been italicized]

Today it is day four hundred and something, whatever, it’s not like the numbers really matter

I’m stuck in that age where there’s a modern plague but I’m no long-blonde haired girl living in a tower

I woke up today and I realized how I have been following the same routine every single day

How my home is like a prison and my bedroom is the cell, and in it, I stay

Where most of the time I just sit on my bed, bored, staring at the ceiling fan

Wondering how come I can recall when this thing began?

Other people would say “Before this, life used to be so normal, so simple” While I’m here trying to think about when the events in my life were ever normal

It was hard to get used to this way of living at first-I didn’t overreact, weep or wallow

Just longed to breathe the air that got through my window 

I adjusted to the system, so did my friends 

Even if it took us 7 months to see each other again

I miss them dearly and I think about when we could all hang out again 

But I know that being safe means maintaining some distance

Just glad that somehow, we all remain in touch, keep contact

Most of the time, I am alone in my room, not really alone or lonely

Family’s a room away if I am in need of company 

I find it weird how I don’t seem to question the things that frustrate me 

Like these restrictions don’t really annoy me

Neither could wearing a mask be so suffocating

But I think about the thoughts that pop up inside my head, I think these thoughts could drive me insane instead, I think with that slight possibility,

That I am convinced that I am slowly, driving myself crazy

I mean, am I? Could I be? Is this what the pandemic means to do with my mind? Means to make me crazy? I-I think so.. But at the same time, I don’t really know.. 

I guess I’ll use this opportunity, to tell the truth, give someone my piece of mind with the things I have observed, about anything and everything, to bring me peace and help me sleep well tonight 

I think social media is good for entertainment but no matter how one person sees it, it’s too toxic

There’s a clash between the posts of the privileged and unprivileged, and it’s sad to think how one can outweigh the other 

How come the moment people become famous, they don’t act like themselves, they act like they’re above everyone else once they have everything easier?

Or how discussing about politics can be so controversial and everyone else is interested to know, if I’m on team A, or team B, when I find it best to not involve myself in that kind of conversation

I’m not convinced by anyone’s claims about the other, for I’d rather wait and see team A and team B settle their arguments, draw a conclusion, compromise than to fight and figure out who is really right when learning to work alongside one another should be the real topic of discussion 

Since when did the person I support-celebrity or politician, determine if I can or cannot be someone’s friend?

When images and videos are edited, they become humorous, part of the amusement, they’re indeed, part of entertainment,

Yet when the jokes get out of control, and people begin behaving violently, and they start cyberbullying 

I tend to ask how is it so funny? How can people find it so humorous? Should they keep on laughing?

And since when was it okay to openly exploit children, if the parents didn’t want the media to show their kids, why do some willingly expose them?

I think parents should teach their children to enjoy their youth more without worrying about their appearance in the eyes of their peers, or other people, and not to fear where they’ll be in a year

School is just a blip, doesn’t matter what school anyone goes to, as long as they’re getting the proper education they need from it

Like when did the name of a school or university determine the job I’ll have, after I finish another 4 years of studying? 

When did my report card, when did my grades determine how smart I am? How good am I at something? Other than academic related activities?

The education system is flawed, I think it should focus more on teaching kids how to prepare for the real world, when they turn 20 and need to help pay rent, or taxes

Or that falling in love doesn’t mean rushing anyone who opposes

Or that the friends someone has made, will stay, and some will eventually drift away

Like my sunflowers-My lovely sunflowers! No matter how much I took care of you, your petals still fell, and you wilted away anyway..

I used to be that kid who had a lot of dreams, so I set goals to achieve them all, in any way I could but without having to exert effort or work hard for my dreams to come true

I am older now, and I’ve learned that sacrifices are made, they are important, and I have to say goodbye to everything I have ever known or knew, truth is my perception is skewed

The world I live in, although it is full of wonders, and beautiful places I am yet to visit, I am yet to see, I am yet to discover, and beautiful people I am yet to talk to and meet

Has both made me excited and nervous, for its beauty can be oh so overwhelming

At the same time, there is ugly to it-beings living in dark places, by ugly I mean character-wise, not how I judge other people based on their features, and I’ve got this fear that

Whenever I meet new people, I have to wear a mask (not literally), a mask that hides who I really am-I’ve built walls around my heart, as if it were made of stone, to keep me safe and protected, especially from the pain of the past. (My heart is made of stone)

This is an organized compilation of the thoughts that have been running through my mind- my view of certain things, of people, of the world-all just my opinions, this is how honest I have been, for a year and a half, ever since I have been stuck in quarantine.

Thanks for reading.

[iam-valrie]

Table of Contents

Spoken Word Poem

Kabataan Essay for the Youth

Song Association essay

Reaction/Review Paper

Character Sketch

Reflective Essay

Book Contest entry

Wardrobe Challenge

Fashion Article

Childhood Memoir

Pathography

[iam-valrie]

In this collage, I noticed how my appearance has changed over time- also I am wearing my school uniform(s) (junior high to senior high school), for the next posts that I will be sharing here are for academic purposes only! For any comments and queries, you can leave me a message here on my account! You can also contact me at c20-1199-540@uphsl.edu.ph (<email for school). 

[iam-valrie]

Introduction to Tumblr Blog

Hello, my name is Marie Rosalina D. Valencia, and welcome to my side of Tumblr!

I have been a tumblr user for 6 or 5 years now, hope it’s not that late to introduce myself or the way I look shocks my mutuals xD! I have been using Tumblr to scroll my dashboard to see every post related to my interests-like books, music, fashion, arts and crafts, organizing, designing and decorating, and I would either heart react to the posts I find interesting, cool or “aesthetically pleasing”, and share it on my page by reblogging it. I have reached over reblogging 100 posts so I thought that now’s probably the best time I take over my own page using my own content! School keeps me busy, but it can never really separate me from what I really enjoy doing-writing! Writing songs, poems, stories, I have written so much of it before both for academic and personal purposes. And all of that I am planning to share on here, I apologize in advance if everything I wrote is lengthy or very long! Looking forward to constructive criticism as I freely express myself! Thanks for reading and thanks for visiting my page as well! (Photos uploaded were captured by me, unless stated otherwise!)

[iam-valrie]

Needle Felted and Embroidered Art Hoops

Yuliya Krishchik on Etsy

[iam-valrie]

into the opal ocean of your dreams

(process shots and the full res version of this artwork are on my patreon)