ianmarkx-blog - Tumblr blog

[ianmarkx-blog]

I want to share something with you that has changed my life.

Yes it’s a massive, sweeping controversial statement to lure you in and compel you to read on, but I want to let you into a secret that has helped me transform my small, yet now meaningful and significant existence!

Last year, after a whole lifetime of being enslaved by them - I finally took control of my thoughts.

I have spent many years enduring an endless battle with my own mind. I have always been a frightful worrier: finding something to obsess over, some imminent disaster I am simply powerless to prevent. Sometimes it rears its ugly head as health or money worries, sometimes paranoia, sometimes it’s just waking up in bad mood for no apparent reason.

It might come as a surprise that someone such as I would struggle with their mental health. This being the same person who can stand up, sing and speak in front of crowds of people. The same person who can disappear off confidently to a foreign country alone with simply a backpack and map for company.

But I have been harbouring a shameful secret: I have been faking it all along.

However I digress: something shifted last year and I want to see if it might inspire other people take control of their lives.

There was a point last year I was struggling financially, after quitting my day job to focus on music and writing. I was struggling to secure regular work in the creative industries. The heart-stopping thought of stepping back into an office, or even worse - a call centre, would literally make my blood run cold (sorry to anyone who actually enjoys such work but I’d rather hang myself from the ceiling by a headset than wear one again).

The problem I had is that those negative thoughts were plaguing my mind - not allowing room for anything else. One day I was having a wobbly moment at my desk at home, when my eyes glanced over at my vision board which was pinned up - almost smiling back at me. I gazed longingly at some of the pictures of countries I wanted to visit, imagined setting up my home studio, travelling the world and being able to indulge my loved ones.

My mind began to wonder as I daydreamed strolling along sandy beaches, sipping back coffee, writing and decorating my new home. This was a lot more of an exciting prospect than contracting a terminal illness.

A couple of minutes later the postman arrived with a thank you letter and cheque from a happy client. Wow, lucky me!

As the months went on, when I found myself starting to obsess over negative things I would redirect my thoughts to obsessing over how I would get more creative work. In the months that followed several freelance jobs came in and I was able to book a backpacking trip across Eastern Europe.

So how does this thought reprogramming malarkey work I hear you ask? 

**Imagine that your thoughts are rainwater which fill a vat. The vat has two taps: one hot and one cold**

Hot tap = nice things, health, wealth, happiness and prosperity

Cold tap = fear, poverty, misery and subsequent end of world

When you realise the cold tap is running, go back and turn it off and turn the hot tap on. Imagine you only have a finite amount of water in the vat, why would you want to waste such a precious resource on self sabotage?

If you find yourself obsessing over something that isn’t happening RIGHT NOW stop yourself immediately and start thinking about what you want and why you want it. Your subconscious is so powerful that it’s at work all the time - even when you’re asleep.

**Top Tips**

- There is more than enough for everyone to live a happy, healthy and fulfilled existence. We are just programmed to believe otherwise by an unfair society!

- Do not impose any limits on your ability to create anything you want. Time is only a barrier if you are holding a watch and keeping score

- Don’t EVER feel guilty for wanting to better yourself in any way: financially, creatively, mentally, physically...

- Remove anyone from your life who doesn’t want you to be happy or attempts to stop you from being successful. If they keep eating your energy stop feeding them!

- Give unconditionally what you can spare. If you have more, there’s more to go round for someone else

- Be grateful for what you do have. Someone else may be gazing longingly at the life you might hate sometimes

[ianmarkx-blog]

Finding Mojo

It’s finally happening and I’m beyond excited as I’m due to record my second album 31st October - 6th November in Birmingham! It’s been such a long time coming..seems like a million hurdles to leap over but the stars are finally aligned and I’m stargazing baby! 

Finding your voice isn’t just about singing: it’s about knowing who you are inside and out. As a songwriter it’s about knowing what you want to say and saying it loud and proud.  It doesn’t happen overnight that’s for sure!

The truth is somewhere along my journey - I fell out of love with my artistry big time. I felt like a single fish in a shoal of grey fish: so many voices speaking at once, swimming upstream against the tide. Somewhere in the maelstrom of voices I lost my own. Singing and writing became more mechanical than magical. Something wasn’t right and I felt myself slipping into a black hole.. desperately clinging on. Life has this habit of getting in the way...

I’m not entirely sure when I found my mojo again. I partly attribute it to my travels - opening my mind and heart to a whole new way of life. Travel fills my sails and makes me feel invincible!

I attribute a lot of it to surrounding myself with those that inspire me: the bold, the brave and those who dare to dream.. those that dare to see things through! Inevitably some of those who travel alongside us aren’t always there for the long haul - we have our own pathways in life after all..

In 2014 I christened myself with a new moniker - Markx. It stands for everything I want to be and more. It’s a solemn promise to myself not to be overlooked, to value my unique perspective on the world, cherish my voice and use it as it was always intended. 

In a lot of ways the songs on this album perfectly capture this journey. I’d love for you to share it with me.

With love Ian x

[ianmarkx-blog]

Vision Board

If I said it were possible to create what you want, actually see it unfold before your eyes - would you believe me?

Back in 2013 I created my first Vision Board - my aim was to leave my day job and be a full time creative. In the space of two years I’m now running a successful business and have ample time to pursue the thing I love most - being creative!

Last night (as I often do) I revisited my vision board and collated all my daydreams/ ideas I capture on my phone - imagine the fun I had! Don’t be afraid - it’s really easy to do and the results speak for themselves!

You can make the your own VB using cut outs from a magazine, things that inspire you - whether it be the house you have always dreamed of, a new car or the trip of a lifetime - nothing is off bounds! Let the right side of your brain do some hard work!

Start with your canvas : either a cork board, card - or my favourite - the kitchen wall and blue tack (if you’re really going for it!) I recommend using PowerPoint as it’s easy to manipulate and update regularly - I even have mine as my wallpaper on my laptop! Here are a few things to help you in your quest for the perfect Vision Board:

Be specific with your goals:  if you want more income, be specific with the amount and how you expect to earn it. Write yourself a cheque! Be sure to put a goal on time too to keep you on track!

Be realistic - but don’t limit your potential, but don’t set yourself things that are completely unachievable - be precise. But dream big and bold!

Be brave - If someone is out there doing it - that could be YOU! Don’t miss out!

Be yourself - what do YOU want? Put a picture of yourself in the middle - one where you’re ‘in the zone’..

Look at it regularly - Put it somewhere you can see it - like opposite your bed so it’s the first thing you see in the morning and before you go to bed!

Have fun! Make it as colourful and quirky as you like - mine has the little flags of the countries I want to visit and lots of inspiring quotes to lift me up on Monday morning.

Revisit it regularly - I am now on my 5th version as I have ticked off my goals from 2013, 2014 and 2015!

Happy creating!

[ianmarkx-blog]

Blood On Your Hands

“Is that...b b blood?” The shocked shop assistant’s face drains of colour, as to her horror she realises your hands are dripping in blood.

Imagine popping up the road to grab a pint of milk. As you hand over your money, you’re alarmed to discover your hands are caked in blood. Searching desperately for a wound, you breathe a momentary sigh of relief as you realise the blood is not your own. 

What if you paid a hitman to take another’s life? imagine if everywhere you went, blood flowed freely from your hands, seeping onto your precious gadgets, staining your Armani jeans and forming a conspicuous dark red river on the pavement before you. Could you look a passerby in the eye, knowing you had blood on your hands? Sometimes I catch a blur of red out of the corner of my eye.

In the UK capital London there is a room full of grown men and women; debating on whether to join a war on a country thousands of miles away. When decisions on life and death are being made, some of these so called adults will jeer and scold like badly behaved children. 

You have delegated your voice to these people: they are your proxy. Whether you voted them in, or simply chose to remain silent; you have allowed them to act on your behalf and by doing so: they have the power to kill in your name. What’s even more ironic is that you’re paying them to do this! They are your hitmen.

Bombs kill people: they are not engineered to differentiate bad guys from civilians. They end lives, destroy homes and civilisations. There's so more to life than consumerism: choking our precious seas with plastic and oil; in exchange for another's blood. Even aid comes at a price: nothing is free apart from love and humility. When there are no guns and money - there are no guns to shoot people nor money to fund arms.

If you're not intelligent enough to question why on Earth your own country are meddling in other country's affairs - you're already part of the problem rather than the resolution. Wake up! You're paying for it from your own pocket and people are killing in your name. And in all honesty how is that any different from killing in the name of the God you believe in?

[ianmarkx-blog]

In London supporting @thesongwritingacademy "Introduction To Songwriting" #makingithappen #SocialMediaWizard #songwriting #songwriter #bestJobInTheWorld #thesongwritingacademy #music #happy (at Phoenix Pub Oxford Street)

[ianmarkx-blog]

Placing Fools On Pedestals

If you can hear a strange dripping noise - it’s not British summertime in full flow. It’s actually the last few drops of my faith in humanity draining away. Why? Last week the tiny, lifeless body of a Syrian child was washed up on Turkish shores. At the same time social media reached fever pitch around the controversy at the VMA’s. Can anybody spot something not quite right there?

Whilst thousands of men, women and children fled their homeland to safety...somewhere across the Atlantic something else was happening. US presidential candidate, Kanye ‘Peabrain’ West (an egomaniac stoner) lights a spliff, in-front of heavily pregnant first-lady-to-be: Kim ‘Birdbrain’ Kardashian (a reality TV/pornstar). Errm...what?

Can somebody please explain to me who these morons are and why they are everywhere I look? Why exactly have people taken to worshiping an egomaniac and an irrelevant woman with a fat arse? It seems we have an unhealthy obsession with placing fools on pedestals.

It seems we are quite happy to take 5 minutes to sign a petition to deport big mouth Katie Hopkins - in exchange for Syrian refugees. Happy to take 5 minutes to ‘troll the troll’ but not so happy to use the time to understand what is ACTUALLY happening in Syria and why.

I have news for you. Kim K’s arse, along with Kanye’s head and Katie's mouth will continue to grow larger by the day. Why? Because they are hungry for fame and power - and we are feeding them! We feed them whilst many others in the world will go to bed hungry and what’s worse - they might not wake up.

Whilst you slurp back on your extra large, extra skinny Starbucks and flick nonchalantly through your OK magazine - has it occurred to you that you are paying more tax because the corporate machine supplying your caffeine fix has manipulated the system to avoid paying tax? Does that make you even slightly angry?

If by some miracle the botox hasn’t already spread to your brain - please adjust your priorities. You were given a pair of eyes: if you can’t see - look harder. You were given a heart - use it to love unconditionally. If you don’t know the answers - ask the right questions. Please don’t spend your life in ignorance, trawling through selfies and pictures of people’s dinners. There’s a world out there - it’s falling apart and only you can save it.

[ianmarkx-blog]

Corridor Of Lights

Heart stops. Mouth goes dry. Breathing ceases. Brain begins to rationalise.   Desperate fingers frantically dial loved ones. *Click* A familiar voice answers “hello” on the other end. Heart resumes normal service.

A sigh of relief - if only only short lived. Relief turns swiftly to guilt with a burning pang of sorrow for the irreplaceable hearts and priceless souls, stolen away too soon – without any warning.  

What can I say? “sorry it was you and not me” – I’m sure that’s what I would think if I were you.

When we can find no words to comfort you - we will come bearing flowers and light candles. It wont be long before tyres will speed by at 70 miles an hour again. Life is in too much of a hurry to wait. But for a few fleeting moments, even those who never knew the ones you loved, or could possibly hope to understand your grief – held you in their hearts – albeit for a few precious moments.

A tiny corridor of flickering lights is a beautiful reminder we are all human after all...

[ianmarkx-blog]

Travel Sickness

I awake startled, my heart pounding like tribal drums desperately trying to summon rain. My mouth is dry and my skin clammy. Two glazed eyes pop open reluctantly – where am I? Oh yeah I’m home – wherever that is. I check the clock and to my disgust it’s 4am again - no there’s no train to run for this morning.

When I catch a glimpse at the clock again it’s 10am. I scrape together the last few ‘coppers’ of energy to make a piping hot cup of tea and gaze out the window, with the intention of losing myself in the morning. My plan to hit the floor running has run out of runway.

It was always going to be a challenge: acclimatising back to life after being on the road for 5 weeks. And what a truly enriching and exciting 5 weeks it was. During the last few days of the trip something bizarre happened. I would be drinking in the sights and sounds, yet my body and mind would be completely numb.. not so much as a raised eyebrow in acknowledgement. Taking stock I returned home with a wallet full of currencies but I wasn’t rich in the traditional sense.

Speaking about it to some of my fellow ‘travellites’ I discover the condition has a diagnosis: travel numbness. The senses overwhelmed, start to shut down forcing you to process the events you’ve experienced. And such things do take time to process… sometimes you need a dark room to develop the negatives to see the bigger picture.

Since I arrived home over a month ago it’s been a struggle to get going. I can liken it to attempting to ride a bicycle whilst it’s still chained to the lamppost. I found myself at my desk and the piano trying unsuccessfully to write. Frustrated and dejected I gave up and settled for a long walk along the coast, hoping to find some solace in the crashing waves.

I have to say there is something majorly addictive about being lost every day - having a plan but ‘going with the flow’. In an attempt to break my writer’s block I drafted a personal letter to a friend – going through the motions came somewhat as a relief (perhaps the equivalent of a laxative for creatives). Could it be possible to have travel sickness when you’re home in the same sense you are homesick when you are away?

Sometimes words are not enough, pictures can’t paint a full story – not even a song can do it justice. You have to go out there and live it all over again differently in Technicolor and HD. And whilst I still have sand in my shoes in so many different ways – I have been taught a valuable lesson by recent events. Seize the day, make every day an adventure.

So where to now old chum?

#diaryOfACreativeSoul coming soon…

[ianmarkx-blog]

I’ve found a little home on Tumblr. I’m just unpacking and making it homely. Soon my blog will be up and running. In the meantime, sit down make a cup of tea and relax - I’l be back before you know it.