ibraen

[ibraen]

Narumitsu has consumed me lately.

I'm not proud.

But I can't stop.

send

help.

[ibraen]

Doomer thoughts

The world will not end well in... 9 years or so. IDK, how many years was WWII?

[ibraen]

This year has been rough. Here's to hoping next year I will finally release all the projects, songs, and stories I've been withholding.

[ibraen]

I just finished reading The Three-Body Problem. I have never experienced the hunger to start a sequel until now. And I have never, with any other book, felt my heart pounding out of my chest as I reached the end. The author really aimed a bullseye at my cosmic dread/phobia and the humanistic drama.

However, I am currently doing a web tour to see reviews and reactions. Well, I am puzzled by the response of the 'hardcore sci-fi readers.' All that talk about 'hard sci-fi,' 'science fantasy,' how it's nonsense, and whatnot.

Maybe it's a problem of focus? For example, I don't mind scientific inaccuracies if it works to make a point but others might feel hard cold scientific accuracy determines how good a book is.

At the same time, I can't help but think that there's a deeper meta-commentary of the state of the genre as a whole that is worth exploring. Many seem discontented by the lack of imagination within the genre, yet in the same breath criticize the imagination of this author and the liberties he took with science. Explain me like me 5?

Do they want revolutionizing pieces that stretch reality and let imagination run the furthest authors can go with fiction? Or do they want to keep rehashing the same ideas, theories, bang, poof, boom that end up in an echo chamber of what sci-fi is supposed to be like?

Or maybe I'm just spewing bullshit because I loved this book and I am blinded by said love. Who knows, you know?

[ibraen]

Doing things alone is hard. Not having the money to make my life easier is worse. Second-guessing if it's even worth the trouble is a nightmare.

[ibraen]

I can't wait to post what I have in store. If only I had time and space to actually finish it.

[ibraen]

Intriguing.

Hellenistic rock tombs from Kaunos, Turkey (4th – 2nd century BC)

[ibraen]

Welp.

It seems is gonna end up like a monster of an installment.

[ibraen]

What a year

[ibraen]

Drunk Ramble #1

Writing a full hybrid story between music and story is hard and exhausting. Sometimes I ask why am I doing to myself when I don't even have an audience or money to do everything I want to do... and the answer is the same: because I love it. I love the stress that comes with it, the despair, the sleepless nights caused by a creative surge. I'm a creative masoquist.

It may not be perfect. It may be mediocre. It may not be what *readers* and *music lovers* are looking for. But! I want to see this Frankenstein coming from my imbalanced mind come to life - and that's that.

Besides, who decides to tell a writer or a composer what to do? I do want money to create everything my mind desires but I'm sick and tired of conventions. If I shall be a Van Gogh, then let my death be the comfort for my wish for legacy.

I'm drunk enough to admit I'm an internet purist: I'm a freak weirdo doing weirdo things that are subpar to pop culture or what publishers want. Why should I care? I've accepted it's not possible to become a professional artist; that I lack luck and opportunities; that even my region lock works against me.

In this day and age where the internet has become so far removed from a place of gathering for the misunderstood, the freaks, the weirdos, the niche, the uncool, the degenerates; a place where the word "cringe" has been used to shun those who want to express themselves and more, where hopeful dreamy young eye dies by caving into pressures them to grow up... I want to be myself no matter how cringe, uncool, unappreciated, or invisible I feel.

No matter the criticism, the failures, the judgement. I do not wish to conform. And just because creativity dies when survival becomes overwhelming, doesn't mean I have to mourn it and rest it in a bed of flowers.

Despite my bad luck and the odds stacked against me, I know my mind won't quiet. At 35, 36, 40, 60, or at 78 years old, I know my brain won't just suddenly... stop unless I'm dead.

So, with all the despair of broken dreams and piecing a life that hasn't made sense to me so far... I'll continue to fight.

My question is, why are young people not doing so. Even if living off your dream is not possible, why would you stop doing what you love?

Drunk rambling over.

[ibraen]

New Collab!

[ibraen]

New Art for my multimedia story!

Art: @adanteria

[ibraen]

I'm in my Nier:Replicant era and stumbled upon this. This guy, can he get more lovable than that? And I probably shouldn't chase for more spoilers lol

I’m reading Taro Yoko interviews in Grimoire Nier and it’s a great experience. Some of my favourite parts are where they discuss Kainé being a hermaphrodite and Nier a sex worker, but the best is where they talk about Emil’s “sexuality” and “Normality” in Yokoo’s works.

Interviewer: Kaine became a huge topic of discussion even before the release, but Emil’s feelings towards Nier got its own share of attention after the release.

Yokoo: I thought I made it quite clear with that bride statement, but it didn’t seem to have gotten the message across.

Interviewer: One theory was that Emil developed feminine feelings and liked Nier as a result of fusing with his sister Halua

Yokoo: No, Emil is gay!

Eishima: Oh, confirmation is good. I thought that I saw nonexistent undertones because of my dirty mind. (laughs)

Mr. T: I thought Emil liked Kaine since they slept outside together, and wanted to marry her.

Yokoo: Emil saw Halua in Kaine. To Emil, she was a reliable sister figure.

Interviewer: There always seem to be some characters with unusual sexual preferences in Yokoo’s works.

Yokoo: How would you define “unusual”, is the question. If we look around, we can definitely see homosexuals, few in number they may be. I’m not trying to say “Don’t discriminate” or anything like that, just “People like that exist. It’s simply the way the world works.” They’re labeled with “normal”, “unusual” and compared quite often, but the difference between people with certain sexual preferences lies purely in number. Some are quite abundant, some are not, but we’re all in the same world. I never intended for them to appear as special.

[ibraen]

THANK YOU TORIYAMA SENSEI!!!!

[ibraen]

We lost a good one today.

[ibraen]

These upcoming weeks...

[ibraen]

One more song post production and we are ready!