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“I do not fear death.I fear dying incomplete”

— Levon Peter Poe

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✨Why I Think Bella Swan Is On The Autism Spectrum ✨

In this post I’m going to talk about why I personally believe that Bella Swan is autistic. As an autistic person myself, I really relate to Bella and I see a lot of autistic traits in her.

Disclaimer: This is just a headcanon- I don’t think Stephenie Meyer intentionally wrote Bella as autistic, and she or the movie producers never confirmed it, so I’m not saying to everyone that she is CONFIRMED to be autistic and that every one has to see her that way, I’m just saying that I personally think she is, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Autistic people hardly have any representation in the media, and with the representation that we do have, it is almost always stereotypical, inaccurate and offensive. You do not have to agree with me on this, but just please be respectful in the comments and don’t hate :)

Ok let’s go:

1. She always felt different from everyone/she felt like nobody truly understood her and that she never really understood anyone either: this is what basically all autistic people feel, myself included. Feeling like nobody understands the way your brain works and the way you see the world. (And this is true, because autistic people do see the world differently than non- autistic people and autistic peoples brains are wired differently from non- autistic brains). Bella mentions this multiple times in the books and movies, at one point in the first book in the car with Edward, she tells him that she thinks he can’t read her mind because they’re a probably a glitch in her brain and that it’s not like other people’s. There is also this quote from the 1st chapter of twilight which sums up how she feels: “ Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn’t just physically that I’d never fit in. And if I couldn’t find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here? I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain”.

2. Her motor skills: She’s constantly tripping over her own feet, has bad balance, doesn’t realize that she’s walking into things, constantly dropping things ect, a common thing for autistic people is to have poor motor skills and find it hard to navigate their body.

Another disclaimer about autism: not ever autistic person is the exact same, every autistic person expresses their autism in a slightly different way, for example, some autistic people are overly sensitive to sound, and some are under-sensitive to it, these are just the specific things I’ve noticed for Bella in this post, it’s not supposed to be a generalization of autism in any way! :)

3. Social disinterest and difficultly: all throughout her childhood and her time in forks, she wasn’t very interested in making friends or hanging out or going to parties, and she found that she could never make friends with someone easily, she just never fully clicked with someone. She did have some very nice friends in forks, however she never related to them too well or was very attached to them.

4. Dresses for comfort and not fashion: Bella typically dresses in what feels most comfortable for her, not what is the most fashionable thing, this is a common thing with autism. A lot of autistic people like myself are quite sensitive to clothing and fabric and will not tolerate uncomfortable clothing.

5. Limited interests/special interests: Bella doesn’t really have many interests, but the ones she does have, she’s very passionate about. A special interest is an autism-specific term used to describe interests and hobbies that autistic people have that are very important to them. They help regulate emotions, calm people down, provide escapism ect. Autistic people can hyper fixate on these interests for hours and hours and not get bored, they can get so engrossed that they forget to do basic tasks to take care of themselves like drinking or going to the bathroom. These interests can last for years, sometimes a lifetime and they are very important to autistics. Bella swans special interests would be reading, wuthering heights, and vampires. Bella says in midnight sun that she has loved reading all her life and it is one of the few things that bring her intense joy. She said she could read for hours at a time and would try to sneak books into her lessons and read any chance she could get. Bella says that her favorite book is wuthering heights and she has read it so many times that it is beaten up beyond repair and the spine is so cracked that the book lays flat. This would clearly be her special interest. Her other special interest is clearly vampires.

6. Burnouts and meltdowns when Edward leaves: when Edward left in new moon, Bella obviously fell into a huge depression, but I also think she fell into an autistic burnout (if you don’t know what that is pls research or ask me cause this post is already too goddamn long). And in eclipse, when Edward leaves to go home in the afternoon or to go hunting, she can barely focus without him and gets very anxious (this is obviously because she loves him and is literally obsessed with him lol, but I also think it could be a meltdown from separation anxiety and also a change in routine (a lot of autistics get very upset when their usual routine is disrupted or changed))

7. Sensitive to sounds: In the book, often Bella cannot concentrate or fall asleep because of little sounds like the rain, sometimes it takes ages for her to sleep because the rain or tapping is too distracting. (This is a common autistic struggle).

8. Stims & facial twitches & stuttering: in the movie, she is constantly stuttering over her words, and her face and body twitches a lot. She also stims a lot in the book by playing with her hair or sleeves or the zip of her jacket, or her hands or edwards hands. She also covers some of her face with her hair, this could be to do with sensory overload, seeing too much in her field of vision may be overwhelming for her, like a lot of autistics.

9. Trouble expressing feelings/ thoughts: bella struggles a lot sometimes with communication and telling people how she feels. You can see this in her relationship with Charlie. They both love eachother very much but they never say it and when they do it comes out very awkward and sometimes they use the wrong words. You can also see this when she is hesitant to tell Edward in eclipse when she doesn’t want him to leave for the fight, it takes her ages to work up to telling someone how she feels. She also tends to be quite private. This is common for some autistics to feel.

10. Sensory experiences: bella loves the sun and heat, she says that she loves feeling the sun seep into her skin- a lot of autistics feel the sensory world very strongly and love certain sensations and detest others. When Bella moves to forks, she hates the sudden change in weather and gets anxious and upset at the feel of the cold, and the rain against her skin. This links back to my other point where I was talking about how autistics fear sudden changes in routine. Bella is very relieved when there’s a sunny day in forks and goes and sits outside, savouring the weather which reminds her of home.

11. Not too concerned with how she looks: obviously not every autistic person is like this, but quite a few autistics don’t really focus on how they look/present and what they wear. They don’t really know about the social norms and what other people wear so they do what they want. This is something I often see in Bella in the books especially.

12. More quiet/ reserved and socially withdrawn and awkward: this is basically self explanatory. Bella is very well known for this. I touch a bit more on this in point 3.

If you made it this far then thank you so much! This took a long ass time to write and I’ve been thinking of making this post for months. There are more things that make me headcanon her as autistic, but these are just from the top of my head. When I re-read the series (for like the 100th time lol) later this year, I’ll annotate the book so that I can update this post in the future with more supporting this).

Again this is just my opinion and my personal headcanon, it is not factual (but I’d obviously want it to be canon) so please no hate :)

If you have any more things to add on then please do!! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Tumblr Tuesday: Women Loving Women in Art

It's Lesbian Visibility Week, an excellent time to be celebrating women who love women. Give it up for the sapphics, their muses, and the gorgeous art that honors them.

@greenfinchg:

@ripleylarue:

@femmegrey:

@mimimar:

@onzze:

@yinza:

@emiuli:

@flora-valleyy:

@karlovycross:

@circusbutch:

@jaxalope:

@drizzledrawings:

@suwisuwii:

@gibbarts:

@bearybutch:

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Couldn’t decide which version I like best so have them all!!

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♾️ Books for World Autism Month + Neurodiversity Celebration Week

♾️ The last week of March was Neurodiversity Celebration Week. My post is (obviously) late, but April is also World Autism Month (beginning with World Autism Awareness Day on April 2). To generate additional awareness, here are a few books by autistic authors and/or about autistic characters. On the last slide, you'll also find books with additional neurodiversity rep (including characters with ADHD, dyslexia, and OCD).

✨ The Bride Test - Helen Hoang ✨ Daniel, Deconstructed - James Ramos ✨ Tonight We Rule the World - Zack Smedley ✨ Paige Not Found - Jen Wilde ✨ Something More - Jackie Khalilieh ✨ Uncomfortable Labels - Laura Kate Dale ✨ The Luis Ortega Survival Club - Sonora Reyes ✨ Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl - Brianna R. Shrum and Sara Waxelbaum ✨ The Spirit Bares Its Teeth - Andrew Joseph White ✨ The Brightsiders - Jen Wilde ✨ The Boys in the Back Row - Mike Jung ✨ Hating Jesse Harmon - Robin Mimna

✨ Queens of Geek - Jen Wilde ✨ The Maid - Nita Prose ✨ The Heart Principle - Helen Hoang ✨ The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson ✨ Even If We Break - Marieke Nijkamp ✨ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon ✨ Unseelie - Ivelisse Housman ✨ This Could Be Us - Kennedy Ryan ✨ Act Your Age, Eve Brown - Talia Hibbert ✨ The Kiss Quotient - Helen Hoang ✨ On the Edge of Gone - Corinne Duyvis ✨ Against the Stars - Christopher Hartland

✨ Tell Me How It Ends - Quinton Li ✨ Izzy at the End of the World - K.A. Reynolds ✨ Late Bloomer - Mazey Eddings ✨ Fake It Till You Bake It - Jamie Wesley ✨ Whatever Happens - Micalea Smeltzer ✨ Gimmicks and Glamour - Lauren Melissa Ellzey ✨ Last Call at the Local - Sarah Grunder Ruiz ✨ Reggie and Delilah's Year of Falling - Elise Bryant ✨ The Charm Offensive - Alison Cochrun ✨ A Prayer for Vengeance - Leanne Schwartz ✨ Tilly in Technicolor - Mazey Eddings ✨ If Only You - Chloe Liese

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