ilikepillowmints-16

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Life updates:

I got kidnapped yesterday.

The sons of Garmadon thought that we were holding Harumi hostage in the Monastery. So when I went out to Chen’s noodle place to see Skylar, a few underground members jumped me with a vengestone net and held me hostage. Then they had a phone call conversation with Kai that went something like this:

SOG: We want the quiet one back and we have your brother

Kai: I don’t have a brother..?

SOG: Then who just asked us to let him out of “this huge motherfucking birdcage”

Kai: Omg you have Lloyd!

And then Zane traced the call so that the ninja could find me.

PSA: I’m the green ninja, and I can still get kidnapped. Especially in places like the city, it’s important to stay safe. Invest in pepper spray.

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

I kinda forgot that I had this account-

Just a general update:

- life’s been good, nothing bad has happened (yet)

- Harumi is surprisingly chill, she’s really reevaluated her life and the choices she makes, she’s great, she helps out around the place a lot too.

- Garmadon’s last words are still haunting me, he said something along the lines of “they’re coming and when they do nothing can ever stop them”

- Kai said that he wants to show me something tomorrow. Idk if I should be scared or excited.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. How are you guys doing?

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

She’s living with us-

COMMISSIONER! I DID NOT AGREE TO BABY SIT HER! ARREST HER PLEASE IT IS NOT TOO LATE!

Now excuse me while I physically restrain Kai because he’s about to commit murder and I don’t wanna see her die again. 😭

-Lloyd

Community service-

HER ONLY PENALTY IS FUCKING COMMUNITY SERVICE!!!!

You would think that a psychopath like Harumi should be in prison for life, but nooooooooo, a family shows up to her trial to DEFEND her, next thing you know she gets off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

What in the name of the FSM is happening anymore…

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Hehehehehe, it’s me, Kai, and Nya!

(Kai, these sour patch kids are definitely not from your secret stash, and I definitely didn’t tell Jay about your nonexistent secret stash of candy.)

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Community service-

HER ONLY PENALTY IS FUCKING COMMUNITY SERVICE!!!!

You would think that a psychopath like Harumi should be in prison for life, but nooooooooo, a family shows up to her trial to DEFEND her, next thing you know she gets off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

What in the name of the FSM is happening anymore…

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Soooo, I know I’ve been gone awhile. A LOT has happened. Harumi didn’t die, and if you don’t know who she is because you don’t watch the news or you just don’t know what happens in Ninjago city- look her up, I can’t explain this right now. She’s in the hospital at the moment, and as soon as she’s completely healed she’s going to face trial for her crimes. She deserves whatever penalty she gets. So why do I want to throw up every time I think about what might happen? What was the point of waiting for her to get better if the might not make it through her trial?

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Does something ever happing that is so traumatic you lay awake for weeks just thinking about it, so then you go back to the place where it happened to get closure only to realize the girl you thought died was actually somehow alive under the weight of a collapsed building, SO you proceed to check her into a hospital hoping that she doesn’t die while knowing that you’re better off thinking that she’s dead? If that’s relatable to you, how did you tell your friends?

I need help-

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Cole is pranking me and I don’t like it. I’m usually the prankster not the one getting pranked. I didn’t even do anything! I said,

“I’m gonna kill myself next chance I get!”

after stubbing my toe, and suddenly all my weapons are hidden. How I supposed to train now???

Cole, if you’re reading this, not funny.

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Jay asked me if my parents leaving me as a child was the reason I accidentally called Nya “mom.” Jay, you should hide Mister Cuddlywomp.

He was like this when I found him, I swear….

(Plz don’t kill me, ur wife wouldn’t approve)

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

I didn’t realize that just because somebody is out to you, that doesn’t mean that they’re out to everyone in their lives. (Before anyone attacks me he said it was ok to share the story) Kai wanted to finally come out to his parents and introduce Cole as his bf, and it just totally slipped my mind that there were people who didn’t know. He said…

“Mom, dad, I’m bisexual, meet my boyfriend, Cole”

And my dumbass from the other room yelled…

“NO SHIT SHERLOCK”

I didn’t know that his parents were actually there…

Everyone laughed, it’s fine. 😅

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

I love my mom, but sometimes it’s a bit obvious that she’s been out of my life for a while. I was talking to Nya and the conversation went something like this:

Nya: What’s up?

Me: Sorting out legal documents because I technically don’t have a drivers license and have been driving since I was 11.

Nya: I forgot about that…

My mom: I thought you were 14 when you became a ninja?

My mom forgot my age when she left me. 😭

(Also, if any of you know how to schedule behind the wheel lessons that would be great.)

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

The best part about living with my friends is the fact that it’s impossible to feel unsafe. Someone could be trying to hunt me down and sell my organs for profit but I know that it’ll be fine because I have the others to back me up. There’s also the fact that we live on a mountain. It’s a huge tactical advantage.

-Lloyd

[ilikepillowmints-16]

Uh, hi! So uh, my friend Kai made me get this app. He said it might help me get over my “ptsd” and talk to people who know how I feel. I think that he’s wrong (I don’t even have ptsd 🙄), but I promised him I’d give it a try so here goes nothing.

My name is Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon

I’m 16 years old

My pronouns are He/They

I don’t really know my sexuality

I’m a Ninja, that’s my job

-Lloyd