iloivar

[iloivar]

do you ever think about dead versions of yourself that are fossilized in someone else's mind

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[iloivar]

Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling

[iloivar]

“the habsburgs weren’t even that inbred” uh yes they were, why is this discourse it’s just a scientific fact

[iloivar]

The Shirley Exception

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[iloivar]

writing isnt even like a hobby to me anymore its just that theres images trapped in my head and if i dont get them out fast enough they start rotting in there and stinking up the place

[iloivar]

The 81 bus to Jefferson Park took so long that many of the people waiting at the bus stop started doing subsistence agriculture and crude pottery

[iloivar]

What is the dynamic between a people whose language was gifted by the Gods and a neighbouring people whose language arose naturally?

[iloivar]

[iloivar]

the first person to turn an apple to sauce... what hubris. no other fruit gets this treatment. well, except for the wretched tomato. but that's a punishment, because the tomato is morally corrupt.

[iloivar]

Local Rusałka said sapphic rights. Have a good summer this year 💮 💮

> Art blog | Originals tag | Comic tag | Ko-fi 

[iloivar]

Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings he’s always like “well we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said so”

[iloivar]

Good tips.

We are getting towards winter in the northern hemisphere so it's time for me to share my number one tip for surviving winter power outages from my time living off grid that isn't "get a wood stove installed".

Get a bed tent. You don't have to permanently install it with your mattress inside it although you will have to do some macgyvering if you don't. It will create a little cocoon that will stay warmer anyway but you can level it up a notch by buying a cheap king size comforter and draping that over it for more insulation. If your power goes out and you need to stay warm, load every pillow, blanket, and living creature that will reasonably fit into it and close the door. You will have a warm and cozy little cocoon to which you can add battery powered lights, a gallon jug of water to keep it from freezing, etc.

Also grab you solar lanterns (LumenAID makes great ones), soft beanie hats, hand warmers, and socks to sleep in, and consider sweaters for your pets for whom they're appropriate.

[iloivar]

love shakespeare. did a hamlet run tonight, looked someone dead in the eye to say “am i a coward?” during a speech and the fucker shrugged and nodded

[iloivar]

I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

[iloivar]

When I was with my ex Taylor and living in Arizona we were roommates with two of her friends.The living situation ended up being Wildly Toxic it’s the one where they said we couldn’t use kitchenware when we said we were moving out. We left and cut contact.

But I do have one regret. I had gotten along quite well with the guy in the couple when I first met him. We texted while Taylor and I were still long distance and because I was working at a sex shop he was quite transparent with me about considering a dick piercing. We chatted about aftercare and the saltwater rinses he’d have to do.

One day he sent me a text informing me that he wanted to send me a video but it had his penis in it, and was that okay? I was so curious I immediately said yes.

The video started on a mirror with his waist framed in shot. Lacking his face all I saw was his flaccid penis and a small glass of water. His new piercing gleamed like a single eye at the tip of his cock. He grabbed his limp penis and in a gruff voice demanded, “Talk you son of a bitch!”

He grabbed his floppy freshly pierced dick and dunked it in the salt water while insisting, “We know you know! Spill it!”

He pulled it up and did a gibbering little penis voice, pleading, “Please, I don’t know anything-“

Then he shoved it back into the water, flopping it around as if the water boarded dick was flailing in distress making outrageous “Blub-hrygh-ghlugggh,” sounds.

It was hands down one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life. I watched it over and over until tears were streaming down my face. When things ended terribly with that couple and we cut contact I deleted the video as it seemed inappropriate to keep now that we weren’t friends.

But I still think about the comedy gold he’d enacted in front of that mirror.