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Nothing motivates me more to pull an all-nighter studying than "female rage" songs

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Idk how i transitioned into this-

From wanting to love the morally gray characters to relating hard to them?

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Bothersome beast, comforting friend

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ai generating my suicide note cause I couldn't think of anything

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I think i would have been softer.

Something paused the domino effect that increased the number of broken pieces of my soul- how desperately i hoped that pause to be permanent, how i wished to be softer around the edges.

-nishi

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"I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it." - Franz Kafka.

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Maybe it was my way of comforting myself, saying that if he stayed life would have a little more bearable.

Silly me, life was going to be as miserable as always. With or without him.

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Imaginary Archive 💡:

A Need For FUN!.. and order!✨️

Starring🎬:

Ronny & Her Dopamine Menu Series 🦆

The Frustration of Time Slipping Away

Like many, I found myself replacing boredom with endless online entertainment. Hours passed, and I had no memory of what I’d actually done. I had become the embodiment of tedium—a frustrating spirit craving action but too lazy to move.

Being blessed (or cursed, depending on the day) with the energy of an ADHD Pokémon, I’ve always struggled with routines. Not because I didn’t want them, but because they rarely lasted. And when they failed, my mood crashed with them.

But here’s the thing—I thrive on creativity. I love making things, and doing nothing? That’s what truly kills me. 🙃

So, as unpleasant as it was, I had to acknowledge that my life strategy needed a revamp. Plus, it was the New Year—the season when the spirit of introspection and yearly goals knocks at your door. (Mind you, I refused to open, but they ambushed me when I came back from the convenience store.)

As they narrated the oh-so-dreaded speech about self-improvement, I mindlessly scrolled through YouTube and stumbled upon a video titled Making My Dopamine Menu or something along those lines. I was confused. A menu for dopamine? But before I could overthink it, the spirits clicked on the video, and my world changed. (Or at least, it did four dopamine menu videos later.)

What is a Dopamine Menu?

A dopamine menu is a structured, yet flexible list of activities designed to bring joy, productivity, and self-fulfilment into daily life. Instead of mindlessly scrolling or getting stuck in analysis paralysis, you have a menu of engaging options tailored to your interests and needs.

Why I Needed One

I knew I needed something fun to pull me out of autopilot and steer my attention toward what truly matters:

My growth

My well-being

My present (because let’s be real, she holds at least 45% of the responsibility for my future)

I wanted to give meaning to my days, to remember what I had done yesterday, to reconnect with my inner child, and—most importantly—to create. So, off to my board I went.

How I Created My Dopamine Menu

1. The Theme (Yes, a Duck—It Could Have Been Worse)

If you haven’t noticed by now—I like ducks. They are CUTE. Shut up.

Naturally, my dopamine menu design took inspiration from an old coffee trailer project template I had. I wanted something fun yet structured, visually pleasing, and easy to follow.

2. The Three Sections

Much like a well-balanced meal, my dopamine menu has three categories:

• 🥖 The Bread (Starters) – Quick activities to kickstart my mood, mostly in the mornings. These prevent me from doom-scrolling or staring into the void. Fun fact: boredom is just your brain asking for something better.

• 💖 Sour Hearts (The Main Course) – Activities for when I have too much time or that oh crap, I forgot I had time realization. These keep me engaged in things that align with my future self.

• ☕ Have a Sip Dip (No Time Stamp Needed) – Evening activities that don’t require a strict schedule but still add value.

Gardening almost made the list, but for now, I’ll settle for studying it. Who knows? A menu update might be in order soon.

3. Structuring My Time

To avoid decision fatigue, I incorporated a weekly/daily schedule alongside the menu. This helps me stick to my dopamine plan while allowing flexibility. I even developed optional habit tracker templates for those who want to join me in this experiment (feel free to download and adapt them!i added the link by the end of the ramble).

The Impact of My Dopamine Menu

Since implementing it, my life has transformed:

✔ I stay on top of things. ✔ I always have a general idea of how I’ll spend my time. ✔ I’m less bored. ✔ I’m more present in both my life and the lives of those around me. ✔ My room is less of a disaster. ✔ I remember where I left my things (mostly). ✔ I engage more deeply in activities. ✔ I’m far more productive. ✔ I’m less impatient. ✔ My mind is actually at peace—like, truly peaceful.

Even the smallest achievements, like cleaning my room, feel fulfilling. meaning, until I discover a better strategy, this is the one I’ll stick with.

The Fluidity of the Dopamine Menu

One of the best things about the Dopamine Menu is that it’s not a rigid, unchangeable structure—it’s a living system that grows and adapts with you.

Take gardening, for example. Right now, I’m more in the phase of learning about it rather than actually digging in the dirt. So instead of forcing it onto my list as a daily activity, I’ve placed it in the realm of “future possibilities.” But when the time comes—maybe next month, maybe next year—I can update my menu to reflect that.

The beauty of the Dopamine Menu is that it respects your evolution. If an activity stops exciting or inspiring you, swap it out. If you discover a new passion, make space for it. If life circumstances change, let the menu shift with them.

The goal isn’t to lock yourself into a set routine forever—it’s to create a system that supports your energy, curiosity, and joy at any given moment in time.

So, don’t be afraid to erase, rewrite, and redesign. Your Dopamine Menu is yours to shape. 😊

How to Create Your Own Dopamine Menu from Scratch

If this concept speaks to you, here’s how you can build your own:

1. Reflect on What Energizes You

What activities make you feel alive or at peace?

What hobbies have you abandoned but still feel drawn to?

What small things make your day just a little bit better?

2. Categorize by Mood & Energy

Low-effort, quick wins → Morning boosters (Starters)

Deep work, meaningful engagement → Core passions (Main Course)

Relaxing, occasional treats → Leisure & fun (Drinks & Dips)

3. Make It Visually Appealing

Design it like a restaurant menu (like I did, with Ronny the Duck 🦆)

Use a simple bullet journal format

Create a digital board on Notion or Trello

4. Incorporate Flexibility

Don’t treat it like a rigid to-do list.

Allow yourself to switch things up weekly/monthly.

Adjust activities based on your evolving interests.

5. Track Your Journey (Optional)

I created a habit tracker template (which you can download for free!).

Logging activities can help you notice patterns and appreciate small wins.

"If you create your own Dopamine Menu, I’d love to hear about it! What’s on your list? 💛"

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If this concept speaks to you, why not give it a try? To make it easier, I’ve created a free habit tracker template to help you stay on track. Download it here: [Dopamine Habit Tracker]

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"I breathed you in and held my breath in hopes of you doing the same. Darling, i have been suffocating for so long now that i fear i might have died already"

- nishi

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sometimes you just feel like the most numb and worthless sack of useless potatoes on earth, have random bouts of sobbing for no reason, feel like nothing ever matters and THEN you see the first sighting of blood of your monthly ritual and you're like OH

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LISTEN, i know there are more jinns than there are people in this world, and i know There's like one jinn that's with you 24/7 who looks exactly like you..I KNOW THAT okay! And I've accepted the fact, and am not particularly jumpy about it BUT i really dont appreciate the door of the room im in being slammed on it's own while I'm alone at the house! Like I KNOW YOU'RE HERE NO NEED FUCKING SHOW OFF OKAY! *proceeds to recite Ayatul Kursi*

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when your younger cousin sisters finally grows up enough to be a part of your double meaning conversations is the best fucking feeling ever!!!

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Look. At. Me. Look at the dead body I'm dragging around with a tired af soul!

Can't even be a proper brain-eating-weirdly-walking-emotionless zombie! What a fucking absolute disappointment!

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any mutuals wanna have group nap time

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Eleutheromania

(E-lu-th-er-o-mania)

Noun

A great desire or obsession with freedom.

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I never get a break

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