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[imjustatiredbisexual]

ITS 12AM I CAN'T FUCKING SCREAM-

james trying to explain why he’s got detention to his mom: listen i don’t know why i pulled that prank! maybe i’m having a midlife crisis!

effie: james you are ten

james: ten and a half actually and i could die at 21

[imjustatiredbisexual]

idk if I'm late but... 👀

(had a little too much fun with the screen tones lmao)

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Pls do im invested in this au 🙏

ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇ

leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: au where no outbreaks have occurred. chris, jill, leon, and you all work for the RPD, you working as the STARS secretary. you’ve had a crush on a certain blue eyed officer for nearly a year, and chris and jill are getting impatient.

warning(s): swearing, chris redfield being a little shit

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Something something Raccoon City something something Officer Valentine, the voice in your head proof reads on the bright screen for what seemed to be the tenth time in the last five minutes. Something pulses behind your forehead as you squeeze your eyes shut, leaning back in your squeaky office chair. Glancing at the little numbers at the bottom corner of the monitor, 10:16 am, you hold back an irritated sigh. Damn, not even close to lunch yet.

“Hey, did you get that status report filed? Irons said he hasn’t gotten the email.” A deep voice fills your ears, enhancing your forehead pulse. You clear your throat and raise your eyes to see Chris Redfield standing in front of your desk with a cup of coffee in hand. Mmm caffeine sounds so good right now, especially with that hazelnut creamer Barry brought in last week- oh shit he’s waiting for an answer-

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I did, give me a sec,” you click on the reports tab you know you left open to reveal a completely blank document, “aand I totally didn’t.” Chris’ lips quirked up in amusement, observing as your shoulders shrunk and you threw your head back like a teenager who just got grounded. His deep chuckle filled your ears as he sat on top of your desk in the space behind your monitor.

“I’m surprised. You’re usually on top of this stuff.” The ‘seriously?’ look you gave him earned you another bout of laughter, and you roll your eyes at his antics.

“I couldn’t sleep, my asshole neighbors won’t stop screwing each other’s brains out.” You rest your forehead on your hand, and sigh.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” Your gaze snapped up to the man, a look of disbelief on your face. Chris had a shit eating grin on his face, knowing your crush was an easy target.

You were walking to Chief Irons’ office to hand him the late reports your predecessor had failed to file, which prompted their firing. It was your second day as the secretary for the STARS unit and you liked the job so far, you got along well with the force. You also didn’t mind picking up the pieces of the previous secretary, which you were warned about before accepting the job.

You were walking across the main hall’s catwalk, glancing down at the front desk, attention taken by a commotion caused by a peeved civilian. Neglecting your surroundings, you found yourself smacking right into a wall. You stumbled backwards as a hand gripped your bicep to catch your fall. Wait walls don’t have hands-

“Woah! I am so sorry, ma’am, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” A sweet, boy-ish voice filled your ears, and your eyes flashed up to your victim. You observed the face in front of you; a strong jaw, straight nose, pretty blues, and sleek, blonde fringe. He was half a foot taller than yourself, and pretty muscular for his age, he couldn’t have been any younger than you. The scent of eucalyptus and peppermint filled your nostrils, and you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach and chest. You were definitely paying attention now.

“Uh- don’t worry about it. Totally my fault.” You nervously laughed, regaining your footing. The man let his gentle grip release from your arm and he flashed you a shy smile. Hot guy smiling at me hot guy smiling at me RED ALERT-

“I’m Leon Kennedy, i-it’s my first day.” He held out a hand for you to shake, and you grasped it in your own, noting how small your hand was compared to his. Imagine these babies cupping my a-

“It’s nice to put a face to the name strewn across the ceiling,” you shared a quick laugh as you referenced the small welcome party the police department held for him downstairs, which you had seen during your tour of the station the day before, “it’s actually my second day.”

“Good to know I’m not the only rookie around here.” One side of his mouth quirked up charmingly, and you felt your knees momentarily go weak. You giggled uncharacteristically, and something in your hand suddenly became heavy. You cleared your throat in realization that you were still holding his hand, so you pulled your hand back and tried to casually to smooth down your black pencil skirt, not seeing the flash of disappointment in Leon’s eyes.

“Right. Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Rookie.” The words left your lips in surprising confidence, and Leon stared at you with a small smile and a look you couldn’t quite decipher.

“See you around.”

Later that day, you sat at your desk with a pitifully dreamy expression, unable to stop thinking about the rookie who was currently downstairs actually working, unlike yourself.

Those eyes, that face, that HAIR. God I could run my fingers through it all day long. He smelled so good, I thought I was going lightheaded- AND HIS HANDS! His grip was so firm, I wonder what else he could grip firmly-

“Hello?? You good?” You jumped at the face suddenly in front of yours, pushing out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Jill Valentine, the gorgeous yet intimidating STARS officer, was staring at you in amusement.

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry.” You spoke nervously. Jill raised a brow and chuckled, leaning one hand against your desk and placing the other on her hip.

“Thinking about your boyfriend?” You felt your ears go hot at the implication, and you stuttered as her smirk grew.

“What? N-No! I-I don’t.. have a boyfriend.” Your eyes diverted away from hers.

“So the kid downstairs isn’t your boyfriend? I saw you two earlier. I thought I was gonna have to bend over a toilet.” You guffawed, and Jill couldn’t help the barking laugh that bubbled from her chest.

“I’m totally joking! But you should go for it. Word around the water cooler is he’s single~” Jill sang, giving you a wink and leaving you to your embarrassment. Unfortunately for you, she was on her way to tell her own boyfriend the gossip about the new girl.

And now, almost a year later and staring in the face of Satan himself, you were kicking yourself for being so doe eyed back then.

“Who’s jealous?” Jill enters the office with a manila folder in hand, a blue STARS logo stamped to the back. Her short, brown hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, a few pieces framing her face in a charming way. Her blue eyes glistened in the fluorescents as they switched back and forth between you and her boyfriend, unsurprisingly excited about some potential workplace gossip.

You see the shit eating grin form on Chris’ face at the opportunity to tease you about Him, and you quickly take the opportunity to intercept.

“I am! Chris has coffee and I don’t. Come with me to the break room?” You put on a puppy dog face for dramatic effect, and Jill raises a suspicious brow. You lace your fingers together with a small pout, and she rolls her eyes playfully with a smirk.

“Sure, let me drop this off at my desk.” Jill turns and walks away, leaving you and Chris alone. His grin was now replaced with an impressed expression, slowly nodding his head.

“Not bad, but this isn’t over.” He gives you a wink and walks back to his desk, and you release a breath. Stupid Chris and his stupid words-

Standing from your chair, you meet Jill at the door of the STARS office and walk side by side to the break room.

“So.. what was that about?” Jill asked, and you groan. She always knew when you were full of shit, it came with the price of being best friends.

“What do you think it was about?” Jill laughed and shook her head.

“God, when are you gonna make a move on that kid? You guys have been pining after each other for, what, a year? I’m surprised it’s been this long.” You scoff and cross your arms as you round the corner of the hallway.

“I am not pining. And neither is he, because if he liked me back he would’ve done something about it by now.” Jill rolled her eyes and huffed.

“I swear you guys are blind. I knew from the second I had to witness that first flirt fest that you guys liked each other. It was love at first sight.” Jill let out a dramatic, whimsical sigh, and wrapped her toned arm around your shoulders. You shook your head, about to push her arm off when she unexpectedly pulled it back down to her side.

“Actually, I’m not feeling coffee. I have to pee. I think I hear my name- yes Chief?” Jill abruptly turned on her heel and you watched in surprise as she dipped back around the corner like a ninja. Why am I even friends with her?

You turn back around and enter the break room, stuttering on your next step when you spotted Leon standing at the counter in his uniform, stirring sugar into his coffee. He was the only one in room besides you, so you took the opportunity to observe him.

Leon had certainly kept up with training, his shoulders were a little bigger and legs a little thicker than when you first met. His hair was shorter though, the regulations the RPD had for their officers prohibiting him from growing it any longer than the tops of his ears, but it still shined in the fluorescent lighting.

“Leon?” You watched Leon’s shoulders jerk upwards and the spoon he previously held clanged to the counter unceremoniously. His head whipped around and spotted you, a small huff of air leaving his lungs in relief.

“God, you scared me.” He laughed, and you laughed with him.

“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you up here. You know you have a break room downstairs, right?” For some reason your teasing question caught him off guard, and a faint red tinged his cheeks.

“Uh y-yeah, but the um—coffee’s better up here.” He replied, a cheeky grin gracing his lips. You chuckled and moved next to him, grabbing a mug from the open cabinet, pouring yourself a cup.

“How’s your day going?” Leon spoke after a few seconds, and you smiled giddily down into your coffee at the mere fact that you were having a conversation with him. But then the conversation from seconds ago with Jill came back to mind and your smile dropped as you suddenly became nervous.

“Gine.” You look at Leon and he has an amused smile on his face, a perfect eyebrow raised. Why is he looking at me like that? Is there something on my face??! Wait—GINE??

“FINE! I meant fine. I was gonna say good but then I said fine for some reason,” you felt your face get hot as you babbled in your flustered state, “um. A-Anyways, how are you?”

“Gine.” His smile widened into a cheshire grin and you smacked his shoulder, eliciting a giggle from the officer in front of you.

“Shut up, Kennedy! I’m going back to my desk.” Your face got hotter as you grabbed your mug from the counter beside you.

“No, stay! Have a cup of coffee with me.” You looked back up at him and his cheshire grin was now a soft smile. You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, and he turned towards one of the small tables in the corner of the room, motioning for you over his shoulder.

“Come on, it won’t hurt to take a little break.” Leon sat in one of the chairs and you felt yourself moving to the opposite chair before you could even make up your mind. Only Leon could have this effect on me.

“Only because I like doing charity.” You sighed, and he raised his brows in mock surprise.

“Excuse me, but weren’t you the one begging me to take an extra hour for lunch last week?” Leon crossed his arms on the table, leaning towards you, and you glanced at his muscles bulging in his shirt before you quickly rolled your eyes.

“That taco truck only comes once a month, y’know!” You pointed a finger at him in playful anger, and Leon chuckled, a smile gracing his luscious lips.

“You just don’t wanna admit you like spending time with me.” His smile suddenly turned into a playful pout, and Jill’s words suddenly filled your mind again. ‘I knew from the second I had to witness that first flirt fest that you guys liked each other.’

Jill is the most observant person I know. She couldn’t be wrong. Unless she was teasing me, but she knows how much I like him.. Does he like me? Nobody else jokes around with me like this. Except maybe Chris, but he’s an idiot and Leon definitely isn’t an idiot, and oh god he’s staring at me I forgot to talk he’s so hot-

“Hey, you okay? I was just kidding.” Leon had concern written all over his face and you cleared your throat.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about something.” You said, and Leon raised a suspicious brow.

“And what would that be?” That you like me which is impossible because you’re you and I’m me and Jill has to be wrong!

“Just something Jill said, her and Chris have been teasing me about this crush I have.” Something in Leon’s expression fell suddenly. Oh god why did I say that-

“Oh.. Well, what did she say?” It was silent for a beat, then you decided to test her theory out.

“She’s convinced that my crush likes me back, but I don’t know..” you bite your lip and you watch his eyes glance down at the action, but quickly glance back up at your eyes.

“Well,” Leon clears his throat, “I think any guy would be lucky to say that you have a crush on them.” You feel a blush fill your cheeks and you smile softly at him.

“Thanks, Leon.” You notice his cheeks get red as well, and he gives a shaky chuckle before looking at you with an eyebrow raised.

“Well, are you gonna tell me who it is or are you gonna leave me hangin’?” Leon asked, and you swear your heart stopped. Your mouth open and closed like a fish out of water, and Leon’s eyebrows furrowed.

“U-Uh… I um- well you see-” Before you could embarrass yourself any further, Chris barged into the break room with Jill following, looking up at her boyfriend with an expression of frustration.

“I just wanna see if I can catch them making ou-” Chris stops in the doorway at the sight of you and Leon sitting innocently across from one another, “oh,” his excited expression dropping quickly into disappointment. Jill’s hands were wrapped around his arm as she bumped into his side at his abrupt stop, frustrated eyes turning sympathetic as she shifted them from Chris to you.

“Excuse us.” Jill says, yanking on Chris’ arm and they were gone just as fast as they appeared. Thankfully that little stunt, which you were totally gonna kill Chris for, cured your nervousness.

“I swear he was dropped on his head or something.” You deadpanned, and Leon laughed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I tell myself the same thing every day.” You laughed together, and after the laughter died down you sat in a comfortable silence. You were tapping your coffee mug with your finger gently, staring into the tan liquid in thought.

“You don’t have to tell me who it is,” Leon spoke quietly, and your eyes shot up to his, only he wasn’t looking at you anymore—“if you like him I can bet anything he’s a good man, and I’m happy for you.” And in that moment, witnessing Leon’s failure to hide his sadness in his smile, you knew.

Leon Kennedy liked you.

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[A/N] hey guys! let me know if i should write a pt 2?? maybe?? potentially???? i really liked writing this one !!

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Things I think Leon would do if his partner had insecurities that he absolutely adored

Quick T.W. tiny mention of self harm

Stretch marks

This man is OBSESSED with them.

Thinks they’re adorable.

Calls them your tiger stripes.

Loves tracing over them with his fingers, sometimes kissing them.

“I would gladly let you eat me, Tiger.”

“Okay Leon I know that was supposed to be cute but gross.”

Moles and freckles

Becomes the biggest sap in the world.

Says little things about them being stars and constellations.

“It’s like they knew you’d be the most beautiful thing in the universe.”

Once again kisses and traces his fingers over them.

Loves to just hold a hand on the part of your body marked with a mole or freckle so he can run his thumb or finger over it.

Won’t hesitate to poke them to be an annoying asshole, mainly just to see you smile or laugh.

Acne

Firm strawberry spot believer.

Will cover your face or shoulders in kisses and remind you that it’s perfectly normal.

Will not hesitate to help you find skin treatments if you so wish.

Knows you’ll force him to do face masks etc. with you. Acts like it bugs him (it really doesn’t he just likes watching you grin when he finally says yes.)

Rosacea

YOU ARE HIS ROSE.

Constant new nickname.

Loves to tease you about it.

“Awww, are you turning red?”

No dumbass that’s just your skin but it’s cute so he gets away with it.

Loves to run his thumbs over your face and bump foreheads.

Will not hesitate to call you a beet or tomato if he’s feeling like being a little shit.

Vitiligo

YOU ARE HIS TREASURE MAP

Yet again a new nickname ‘Treasure’.

Calls you his map.

Loves to make little home/island metaphors if it’s your skin.

“Guess I’m shipwrecked for life. I’m not complaining, though.”

Loves to kiss the patches, will kiss your eyelid/eyelashes or hair if it affects that as well.

Scars, scratches and bruises

Constant fight jokes

“I’m guessing the other guy looks worse.”

Yeah most of the time that ‘fight’ was with the corner of a table and you lost, but anyways.

Rubs circles over your bruises gently, asks if they’re too sore or you need an icepack.

Is gentle on your scars, especially if they’re S.H.

Loves to softly kiss them, helps you treat them.

Shows off his own scars from work to try and make me feel better.

“And that one, that one’s from when I got an axe to the shoulder.”

“Leon-”

“If you’re asking how I’m still alive I honestly can’t answer that.”

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Story time cuz I have nothing better to do

So there's this guy in my class and in that class he felt like the straightest dude ever. Like, he already have a girlfriend just when the year started. So I just kind of avoided him since I'm bi and all. Idk it might just be me but he def gave off those jock vibes even when though he wasn't much of a pe champ lol

Anyways, we had this assignment on doing the book report and I picked Harry Potter since that's the only book I actually read in the house before so the report was a breeze. Then, just the day before xmas vacation, I saw the book he was reporting on.... The Song of Achilles

And i was BLOWN away since it was the last thing I thought he would read and well its gay. I've been wanting to read that book so I asked if I could borrow it and he agreed. I then gave it back after vacation and he asked me if I finished.

I said yeah and told him that even though I read the ending thrice I still cry each time. He agreed as well and said he also cried in some parts of the book.

After that, we became friends.

Idk just that it was a funny story lol

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Merry Christmas everyone! (^^)

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Could you do male!Y/N manipulating male!Yandere to kill someone for them???

Ok idk why you have a sudden craving for one but here ya go oh and E/N is your enemy's name

.

.

.

"Y/N senpai!" A familiar voice called. I turned around at the call of my name and saw the cute boy I met at the library. He seems to be holding a heart shaped... Ah.

"Please accept these chocolates, Senpai!" He said, bowing his head while his trembling arms pushed the heart-shaped box to me. I took the chocolates even though I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

"Thank you," I said, "Although, if I'm being honest, these are too-"

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I'll get you a different gift!"

"Ah, you don't have to do that. I already have received some chocolates,"

The sentence made the effect I wanted. Though subtle, the cute boy's gaze darken. His face looked slightly murderous.

"May I ask who gave you..?"

"Oh it's E/N, " I answered, fully knowing what's about to happen.

Sure enough, the next month E/N was reported to have been killed. I smiled, knowing that my weapon is working well.

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Y/N-now-turned-Siren sings to manipulate a sailor to eat. However, they accidentally ate their lover.

Take ur time btw:)))

Ah yes, another day another ship to wreck.

I sat on the rock like any other day, feeling the salty wind blow against me. It has been far too long since I was turned into a siren, far too long.

At the distance, I can faintly see an outline of ship. Immediately, I began to sing for them to be lured into the pits of death. They really never learn, those sailors.

A familiar chain of events then presented itself before me. The sailors were entranced by my wretched enchanting singing causing the ship to crash into one of the pointy rocks. They all sunk one by one, they always did. Once it ended, I dived right in to enjoy the prey I have captured. I started with one, then another, and another until there was only one left.

He looked... Familiar. Disgustingly familiar with his scarred skin and wavy black hair. His handsome face looked youthful yet at the same time told a story of that of someone who faced a great battle. He looked at peace with his eyes closed and not at all like he faced death just minutes ago.

No. I have to eat him. And so I did. Yet, every bite I took felt sickening as if I had eaten a worm along with the flesh. My heart began to feel heavier and heavier until I felt like I was sinking with him. It wasn't the first time I felt like this but... Why is it that I feel these wretched feelings more with you?

Then all of a sudden, the memories flooded my mind like water bursting from a dam. The memories that I promised myself to never relieve after I became one with the sea. These painful, sad, and.... Happy?

I remember now.... My love, the reason why I am what I am now.... It was to find you. But in the end, I was the one....

I didn’t feel tears roll down my face yet I knew. I hugged the corpse I had eaten, disgusted at myself.

Do not worry, my love. I shall follow you to Tartarus itself if it means to be with you.

Hehe I hope you liked it! Thought I sprinkled a bit of greek stuff in their since I'm in the middle of tsoa. ^^

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Did anyone changed so much that when they talk about their past achievements it felt like they're boasting about someone else's?

Just me? Ok...

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Lmao but why does he have the anya face

he knows what you love and he knows what you dread 

[imjustatiredbisexual]

cryptid father and creation (son)

i miss drawing scary shit

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Exams' done :D

Here's some of my doodles on my paper (lol) also I think I made an oc OvO (pls pardon the bad cam quality)

[imjustatiredbisexual]

I have an exam for like the whole week...

Please bring hyacinths to my funeral if needed :')

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Does it hurt?

[imjustatiredbisexual]

My bestie: Yandere robot man kills for Y/N then gets disassembled by Y/N at the end

Me: On it

So this abomination is created (its short tho =) also ⚠️mature⚠️ language⚠️ ahead ⚠️

"Master, master please," He pleads but it was too late. I was already horrified of what I saw, my sister's blood dripping down his hands. "Stay back!" I warn, brandishing a tazer, "I knew I should have disassembled you when I saw the error,"

"Please, master. I did this for you-"

"Bullshit!"

My creation. The thing I devoted my whole life to for the sole purpose of protecting my sister.

I made him and I will end him

[imjustatiredbisexual]

To the people who are going through tough times like me,

[imjustatiredbisexual]

Kokobot ^^