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Teacher: Today Trunks called one of his classmates an "apathetic shitfucker". Vegeta: Are they? Teacher: Oh yes! But that's not the point.

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RIP Akira Toriyama

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What's that thing you Earthlings say when you're playing chess and you trap your opponent into an inescapable position? Oh, right. Eat butt, you ding dongs!

Frieza to the Z Fighters

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To everyone who said this would never work, sorry about the huge amount of damage and all of the fires.

Goku

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Goten: If the opposite of "pro" is "con"...

Trunks: The opposite of progress is congress...

Goten: So the opposite of constitution is-

Marron: I'm gonna stop you both right there.

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Ramen is just anime spaghetti

Goten

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At a restaurant

Bulma: I am sorry ChiChi, I left my wallet at home.

ChiChi: Oh how fucking convenient, Bulma!

Bulma: Uh ChiChi, I’m actually trying not to curse in front of baby Trunks so if you could not eh-

ChiChi: Oh, I completely understand. What words were you trying to avoid? Is it things like hell, damn, fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, ass, cock, dick, cock face, dick face, dick head, dickwad, cocksmoker, cock sucker? What about words like tits, pussy, twatch, snatch, clitface, cuntface, thundercunt, dipshit, douchebag, dumbass, dumbfuck or dipshit? (baby Trunks giggles) I'm sure you're trying to avoid words like (ChiChi gets down to the baby's eye level) bullshit, bastard, bitchtits, buttfucker, asshole, asshat, assclown, asswipe, (ChiChi stands back up) jackass, shithead, shitface and whore, right? Are we counting words like piss, cum, cum dumpster and cum guzzler?

Bulma: Um...

ChiChi: Oh goddamit! I almost forgot about fucker, fuckface, fuckstick, fuckwad, fuckboy, clusterfuck and of course, motherfucker. Are these all the kind of words that you're avoiding Bulma?

Bulma: Uh yes I guess any of those, we are-eh, trying to stay away from.

ChiChi: Okay, well, good luck with that.

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How come when I wanna do fun stuff that'll kill me, you're against it?

Goku to Chi Chi

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Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

Whis

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Hello yes, my sexual orientation is violence

Vegeta

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[Vegeta is beaten up and semi conscious. Goku comes to rescue him.]

Goku: Getes. Vegeta!

Vegeta: Kakarot?

Goku: Can you walk?

Vegeta: You're not real...

Goku: I am too real! Let's go!

Vegeta: It's a trick! They get inside my head, make me see what I want.

Goku: Then why would they make you see me?

Vegeta: You're right. Let's go.

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Marron: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million zeni?

Trunks: Goten, shoot me. Then when my leg heals we can buy a huge-ass house and sweet cars.

Goten: Hey, you can shoot me too, and then we will have twenty million dollars.

Trunks: Good thinking. Fuck the system.

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Vegeta: Next time I kill someone, I’ll remember to dispose of the body more carefully.

Bulma: No! Don’t kill anybody!

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I could get killed. Or even worse, Chi Chi could give me a lecture on responsibility again.

-Goku

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Before the events of Z

Bulma: There's plenty of fish in the sea. But you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

Krillin: Not sure if Yamcha cheated on you or you're just trying to raise awareness about pollution.

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Goten: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Trunks: That would suck because you can’t microwave metal.

Marron: Good morning to everyone except for you two.

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Goku: Trust me, I know what I'm doing!

Vegeta: Not even Supreme Kai knows what you're doing, Kakarot!