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[after a tough fight]

Maya: You okay? Axton: I dont know... I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like... Axton: [shows his hands cupped to Maya as if he were offering something] Here you go. It's your ass. Maya: Axton: Maya: Okay, I think Axton is concussed.

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Fiona: I have to share the caravan with Vaughn and Rhys. Every night, it's disgusting - Sasha: Well, I don't want to hear about it. Fiona: Rhys tries on all of his outfits for the next day and makes us watch him walk in them.

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Jack, to the Crimson Raiders: You and your dreadful little polycule haven't seen the last of me!

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Axton: When I was 14 and got diagnosed with ADHD the doctor measured my head with a measuring tape. I'm pretty sure he just noticed it was massive and got curious.

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Vaughn: At least I can handle my drugs. Yvette: I can handle more than you. Rhys: We're not here to discuss who can handle the most drugs. Yvette: I wonder why. Rhys: And what does that mean, Yvette? Yvette: It means that you take half an E and you wet your little knickers. I've seen you in a field, naked, with just a sock and a whistle. You thought you were in The Shining. Rhys: I was on antibiotics. Vaughn: What about that time you had three espressos? We found you in the corner weeping, trying to peel yourself like a satsuma. Rhys: I had an itch. I was itching my arm. I'd changed washing powders. It flared up. Yvette: You used a glue gun once for some simple DIY and thought you saw the black dog.

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Yvette: He texted me "get home safe" so I won't. I will not let a man win.

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Mordecai: Brick, when you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Brick: I won't die. Mordecai: Mordecai: Okay, but if you were like. Unexpectedly hit by a bus today. What do I do? Brick: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did. Avenge me, Mordecai. Avenge me!

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Aurelia: My awful brother has been arrested for... of all things... horse theft. Aurelia: Pioneer ass crime. "Little House on the Prairie" ass crime.

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Can we get the Time Knife exchange (or its Borderlands equivalent) from The Good Place? I'm picturing it as one of the regular Vault Hunters freaking out about visions, while one of the Sirens just treats it as normal.

i havent watched the good place in FOREVER but if you pm me a link to a transcript ill make it happen !!

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[Wilhelm and Jack are fighting Athena]

Wilhelm: Die, lesbian! [fighting stops] Athena: Jesus, Wilhelm. Jack: Yeah, we're dipping into some hate crime territory. Wilhelm: "Die bitch"? Athena: That's misogynistic. Wilhelm: Just "die"? Jack: That's fine. Athena: Works for me. [fighting resumes]

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Jack: The bribes I took did not influence me to become evil. I was evil from the beginning and the bribes were merely a bonus.

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Wainwright: The sight of men's tits leaves me feeling weak an' restless with lust. I oughta be tucked into bed like a Victorian woman dying from too little cocaine.

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Tina: Me and Pickle are going to be Fiona's scam interns. Pickle: We don't get any of the money, but we get the opportunity to learn the business. Athena: Normally I would tell you not to help Fiona con people, but Hyperion employees are barely people.

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FL4K: My toxic trait is telling my skag he's a good boy after he's been a menace to society all day.

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Axton: Guys, we're forsaking the group dynamic, okay? And truthfully, Krieg, come on. I mean, nobody wants a wild card, okay? It doesn't make any sense. We don't want a maniac in our group. There's no benefit to it. Krieg: Mm-hmm. Axton: Uh, I feel like you just agreed with me but you weren't listening to what I was saying. Krieg: Yes… [points to Axton and Gaige] Gaige: You pointed at me like I said something but I didn't. Krieg: Oh, good. Gaige: Krieg, having someone making wild decisions that make no sense, that benefits nobody. Krieg: Oh, yes. Right, yes. Axton: Is he listening? Gaige: He's listening. He's not understanding. Krieg: Yeah, he doesn't even, like, get us, man. Axton: We're talking about you!

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[on ECHOnet] BuisnessNews: BREAKING. Atlas CEO Rhys Strongfork reportedly spotted in gay bar? Yvette: okay? fork spotted in kitchen cmon now

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Wainwright: There was this one time when after sex I rolled over an' went to the balcony. Wainwright: Alistair thought I've gone for a smoke due to my melancholic nature, but I actually opened sudoku.com evil level.