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Deadpool: Who is it?

Foolkiller, banging on the door: DEADPOOL!

Deadpool: Don't lie to me, whoever you are! I'm Deadpool!

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Stingray: I've caluclated the average words per minute for a silent reading adult.

Deadpool: Okay. Who said I was gonna be silent?

Slapstick: Who said I was average? I'm actually worse.

Deadpool: I'm an above average loud child.

Stingray: Uhhh- 12 years.

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Slapstick: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture".

Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

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Solo: Terror, can I ask you a question?

Terror: You just did.

Solo: Okay, can I ask you two questions?

Terror: You just did.

Solo, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS!?

Terror: You just did.

Solo: WHEN!?

Terror: Just now.

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Slapstick: I can't believe you, Stingray. You'd choose your wife over me, your coworker who hates you?

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Masacre: *Doble comprobación de suministros en el barco* Brújula. Radio CB. Protector solar.(*double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.)

Solo: Hot dog costumes!

Masacre: ¿Disculpa que?(I'm sorry, what?)

Solo: You know, in case one of us, probably Slapstick, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Slapstick hates hot dogs, so they probably won't eat us.

Masacre: ¿Estás diciendo que Slapstick prefiere comernos a nosotros que a los hot dogs?(Are you saying that Slapstick would rather eat us than hot dogs?)

Slapstick: I do hate hot dogs.

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Slapstick, dramatically: They called me a fool!

Foolkiller, cocking his gun: They weren't wrong.

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Deadpool: The scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads.

Slapstick: Yeah, it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain, even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off.

Terror: Do you two still believe in that legend? Come on, Rushmore was killed a hundred years ago! We’re safe now.

Solo: You people have clearly never taken a history lesson. His body was never found.

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Deadpool: You know, you can't please everybody-

Terror: You can, you're just not doing it.

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Slapstick: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

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Slapstick: If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate.

Solo: What?

Slapstick: Good luck.

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Stingray: I made a spreadsheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.

Stingray: There's so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

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Terror: What the hell is wrong with you?

Deadpool: I have this weird self esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I'm better than everyone else.

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Slapstick: BWAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong oppinion alarm.

Stingray: That is not something you actually have installed.

Slapstick: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG ASS OPPINION.

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Ellie: No! Wade said you're bad!

Madcap: Well, Wade is a stupid bitch.

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Stingray: Where the hell are we going to find a dead body!?

Madcap: We're gonna dig up Solo's dead girlfriend!

Solo: Yeah, we're gonna dig up- DIG UP SOLO'S DEAD GIRLFRIEND!?!?!?!

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Deadpool: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Foolkiller: We’re not friends.

Deadpool, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.