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May: Not everything on the internet is true. Aida: So there's not beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?

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May: There isn't anything you can say to stop me! Daisy: Oh yeah? What if I said ... blargen fediddle no-hip? May: May: Well I'll admit, that slowed me down.

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Daisy: Good afternoon and thank you all for being here. During these proceedings, we will determine how to properly deal with men who wear shorts in temperatures lower than thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit or zero degrees Celsius. Simmons: Ride by on roller skates and spray paint their exposed legs a stunning mauve hue. Daisy: Motion passed, council adjourned.

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You're all my family, in a way, and I love you all - apart from Ward, who I don't really trust.

Phil Coulson

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I'm having a natural childbirth in that it's natural to take drugs that lessen excruciating pain.

Jemma Simmons

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Simmons: You bought us gifts? Deke: Oh, I wouldn’t say bought exactly… I obtained.

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I am not in danger, I am the danger.

Sinara

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To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't just about horses, I lost interest.

Deke Shaw

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RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but I'm different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.

Aida

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Is it true that you can make Coulson do anything you want? Like if you said he had to eat a bug, he'd eat it even if it had lots of legs?

Daisy (to May)

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Deke: If I was the last person on Earth, would you date me? Daisy: Deke... If you were the last person on earth, I wouldn’t exist.

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Simmons: Have you made a dent in your reading list? Deke: I finished it! Simmons: You read eleven books? Deke: I read the list.

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Alya: Aunt Daisy! That girl hit me! Daisy: What am I, your bodyguard? Hit her back!

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Horny doesn’t always mean wanting to have sex. Sometimes it means wanting to be beat up or stabbed or something.

Raina

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Garret: I understand that we'll probably never be friends. May: You can leave out the "probably".

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I really value when people use violence for me, it's actually one of my love languages.

Snowflake

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Kasius: He's like the dad I never had. Sinara: You don’t have a dad? Kasius: I mean I do, but he sucks.