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Juliana: What are you doing?

Valentina: I'm playing a new drinking game, it's called Everytime I'm Depressed, I Take A Drink.

Juliana: That game exists. It's called alcoholism.

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Juliana: I want you to look straight at my eyes.

Valentina: You can’t have me look at those eyes and expect me to be straight.

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Juliana: When you said you made magic on bed, I didn't expect this...

Valentina: [takes out card] Is this your card?

Juliana: ...yes.

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Valentina: I love you.

Juliana: Really? Then, tell the whole world.

Valentina: I love you.

Juliana: What? That wasn't even that loud.

Valentina: That's because you're my whole world.

Juliana: *blushing* vAl-

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Valentina: I want the divorce!

Juliana: We are not even married!

Valentina: And whose fault is that!?

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Guille: Has anyone seen Valentina or Juliana?

Sergio: Last time I saw them they were getting slushies at the fair.

Valentina and Juliana: [walking up to them with purple mouths]

Valentina, holding a red slushie: Hi guys!

Juliana, holding a blue slushie: Why are you guys looking at us like that?

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Lucho: This is my girlfriend, Valentina.

Valentina: Hi.

Lucho: *sigh* and this is her girlfriend, Juliana.

Juliana: Hi.

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Valentina: Well, I think my present was clever so I'm not apologizing.

Juliana: You put a bow on your head and said, "i'm your gift".

Guille: What is wrong with that? I think it's cute.

Juliana: No, you don't get it, she ONLY had a bow on.

Guille: oH.

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Valentina: Yeah, I looked both ways before crossing the street.

Valentina: I looked both gorgeous and radiant.

Valentina: Too bad I got hit by a car.

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Vote guys!!

Juliantinas! please help!!! We are losing our advantage!

Vote incognito

Vote as many times as you can

This is a Televisa poll and they will release unseen material for the winner (Best Telenovela of the decade)

Vote AMAR A MUERTE

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Lupita: How was the honeymoon?

Juliana: Well, Valentina got drunk and tried to burn our marriage certificate.

Juliana: She yelled "try to return me without the receipt".

Juliana: I married the right person.

Lupita:

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Juliana: Val, toss me my keys!

Valentina: *throws a Christmas tree to Juliana*

Juliana: I said 'my keys'.

Valentina: I thought you said Christmas tree.

Juliana: Why the fuck would I say Christmas tree?

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Juliana: What's the only thing I asked you not to do?

Valentina: Burn the house down.

Juliana: And what did you do?

Valentina: Made you dinner.

Juliana:

Valentina:

Valentina: And burnt the house down.

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So I literally just read all of your quotes and I'm fuckind dying lol they're so fucking funnyyyy

Thank you so much!!! 💕💕

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Juliana: *yawns*

Valentina: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Juliana: Then you must be exhausted.

Valentina: *blushes furiously*

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Juliana: Why does Val wear make up?

Sergio: To look pretty.

Juliana: But she's already pretty.

Sergio: Awww.

Juliana: Sergio, you should wear makeup.

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Valentina: Hey, I got Netflix for you like you asked.

Juliana: Oh that's awesome, I've been mooching off of Panchito's account for years.

Valentina: What do you mean account?

Juliana: Yeah, his Netflix account.

Valentina: . . .

Juliana: Like his profile? I wanted one of my own, they're like $8.

Valentina: Oh, you mean the account on the service...

Juliana: Yes, what did you think I mean?

Juliana: Wait. Valentina Carvajal, what did you buy?

Valentina: Uh.. Netflix...

Juliana: . . .