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Carlisle, to Rosalie: Take out the trash, please.

Rosalie: Sure.

Rosalie holding the trash bag in front of Edward: Get in.

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Sam: Hey guys- uh, why are you all standing on chairs?

Paul: We're playing a game called "we saw a big ass spider and don't know where the fuck it went.”

Sam: *Scrambles into a chair*

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Rosalie: How dumb do they think we are?

Emmet: Sometimes Esme leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

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Alice and Emmet: *Playing with Renesmee*

Emmet: *jumping on a table* Quick the floor is lava!

Edward: *faceplants onto the floor* Ah the sweet release of death!

Alice: Dammit Edward!

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Alice: Just be yourself!

Edward: Be myself? I have one night to win over Bella. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Alice: Couple weeks.

Jasper: Six months.

Rosalie: Jury’s still out.

Edward: See? “Be myself.” What kind of garbage advice is that?

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Emmet: I accidentally scratched Alice’s car, how long do you think I’ll live?

Jasper: Ten

Emmet: Ten what?

Jasper: Nine

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Edward: Why are you like this?

Bella: I used too much No More Tears shampoo as a child and I haven’t felt a single emotion since.

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Your blog makes me smile tysm for cheering me up 💜

👆🏻 This right here makes me so incredibly happy! I’m so glad I’m able to cheer you up with my crazy posts. I’m also here for anyone who needs to talk at all ♥️

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Edward: I didn’t come here to be insulted!

Rosalie: Oh where do you usually go?

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Edward: I just want to hear those three little words.

Bella: I love you.

Edward: That’s sweet but try again.

Bella: I will behave.

Edward: There we go.

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Edward: You remind me of the ocean.

Rosalie: Why the ocean?

Edward: because you’re salty and you scare people.

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Edward: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Alice: I’ve been zoned out for the last two and a half hours.

Emmet: I got distracted about halfway through.

Bella: I was too lost in your eyes to hear what you said.

Rosalie: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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We all collectively agreed that Jasper’s backstory is utter bullshit, right? But what if he was a Union spy working on the Confederate side to gain intel on the Confederates for the Union. Another male working for the Union as a spy saw that he was with the Union and promoted him to Major just so he wouldn’t see real battle so he could safely carry messages to and from the Union. I’m sorry for wasting your time.

You are NOT wasting my time I adore getting messages! I must say that’s a very interesting and amazing theory! I think it’s super plausible and its an intriguing backstory! I would love to see how it would play out as well perhaps Maria would have never turned him! ⬇️

With that being said I don’t find Jaspers backstory to be bullshit. Personally I love his story because it shows how generations change and how far we’ve come. My understanding is Jasper grew up in the south, he grew up around people with similar opinions. It makes sense he would want to join the confederacy because he was surrounded with conservative southerners. He himself was one and probably still is. I think as times changed though Jasper realized what he once thought was okay, was not. His way of thinking changed and he grew as a person/immortal. Honestly I know many people will disagree with me and that’s okay but please do not come at me or spread hate because of my opinions.

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Bella: I have a plan.

Edward: It can’t involve self sacrifice.

Bella: I don’t have a plan.

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Edward: Is something burning?

Bella: Only my desire for you.

Edward: Bella, the toaster is on fire.

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Renesemee: *looks behind Rosalie to Jacob*

Rosalie: What is it child. What invisible horrors do you see with you’re baby eyes.

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Laurent: you’ll never stop James he’s too powerful!

Carlisle: that’s where your wrong. We’ll stop him with the power of-

Rosalie: friendship!

Alice: harmony!

Edward, covering Bella’s ears: Incredible violence.

Emmet: And love!