pay me an extra $20 so when approached i’ll quietly whisper with my head lowered down, “it’s done” then i’ll secretly smile and walk away
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Vanya: [writes a book about her life growing up in the Hargreeves household, revealing how her siblings were massive assholes]
The rest of the Hargreeves children:
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I’m sorry but
FIVE👏 NOT👏 UNDERSTANING👏 POP👏 CULTURE👏 REFERENCES👏 AND👏 BEING👏 CONFUSED👏 WITH👏 EVERYTHING👏
•Klaus and five sitting in the kitchen and when Klaus finishes his drink he just yells “THIS BITCH EMPTY.. YEET” And throws the empty can in the recycling
it surprises five so much that he chokes on his coffee, and then when he finally stops coughing he just looks Klaus dead in the eye and says, “excuse me, but what the fuck?”
•all the popular shows that the others reference and they all laugh but five just sits there like “???what???is???funny???about????that???”
•all the slang that he missed out on, like he’ll have a normal conversation with people and just have to be like
“What do you mean LIT???? Goddamn it did Klaus set something on fire again?”
“What is a bronie???”
“Who’s Britney?? Why are you saying you are Britney?? Why are you calling me a bitch?? Bitch. It’s?? Britney??? Bitch???”
“WHY THE FUCK DOES KLAUS KEEP ON SCREAMING ‘REEEEE’ WHAT DOES IT MEEEAAAAN????
“why do you keep saying ‘Oof’ like that???”
“what is a umm a me-me? Is that how it’s pronounced– no?? —— okay Delores thinks it’s pronounced mEEEme? What is the umm the mEEEEme thing??”
“what do you mean it’s free real estate?? In this economy??”
“Why do people keep on saying other people are snacks? Has cannibalism become normalized??? I don’t know if I even want to save this goddamn planet anymore…”
“What is a club penguin and how do we stop it?”
Eventually he’s just like “fuck it” and like try’s to use modern slang in his sentences but he??doesnt know?? What anything?? Means??
“that wig has been taken!”
“I’m drinking tea at that”
And like he doesn’t understand that he’s saying it wrong but the rest of them don’t have the heart to tell him either so he just continues to get it wrong…
Just
Five👏 not👏 understanding👏 modern👏 day👏 things👏
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