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Stephen Edwards.

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just some things i was thinking about this afternoon

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my little angel is dead now. at least I have this to hold onto.

my galaxy eyed teddy bear.

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Define Feminism...

When you see women today, they are greatly different than they were years ago, through the years they have created their own styles of dressing, ways of living, and ways of thinking--some rooted from traditionalism and some based from modern culture. Both of these kinds of women have an affect on the people around them and the culture that they are apart of. The women who have rejected traditional restrictions, oppressive views, lower ways of living, being on the lower hand, and being told who to be, are feminists. These are everyday women, who support a new wave in the making for over 100 years.  Feminism, is misunderstood and is beginning to be represented in our everyday culture more than ever before. It is based on empowerment, appreciation of originality, being in your own skin, and freedom.

We are seeing feminism shown in our classes, social media, movies, the news, politics, and countries around the world. Everyone has some sort of opinion on it and it is hard to know what feminism is and what it pertains to. When you bring up the word feminist, or feminism, a lot of people are either for it, or against it, without even knowing what it means. This is why so many are against it, not because they don’t support equality, but, because they think feminism is the opposite of equality. They don’t understand that feminism is much more than what people talk about.

One who misinterprets feminism will say, “Why does it have to be all about women? What about men too? How is that equal when you are making it all about women?” Well, it isn’t all about women. Years ago, when women went to work in the factories, it wasn’t to say the men were incapable, but to be equals and to help the needs for production. They didn’t do it for just them. There was a larger intent behind the actions. When a woman says she can pay for herself, it isn’t to demean the man and say he can’t pay, it is to show that she can, because she can. Feminism is about balance and equality. The intent is not focused on being superior or putting anyone down. Many misunderstand this. Feminism is not inequality. Why can’t we put one up in society without seeing another as down? That is not what this movement is. Feminism is the single mother who works three jobs and refuses to give up being a strong woman. Feminism is the woman who lets herself cry in front of others with no shame, she is free to feel, and free to show what she is feeling. Feminism is the woman who demands more pay, and who says “you can’t put me down”, she knows what she is worth.  Feminism is the woman who sets the standard for equal rights, having a considerate nature, and being within your own skin. Feminism is the woman who says no one is superior or inferior, we’re just coexisting.

Through the years feminism has been subjected to change, redefinition, ridicule, rejection, and praise. This has shaped it into something that is diverse, ever-changing and a bit confusing.

Many women thinking that this changing feminism means, “we hate men” and “lets be victims so we can control the situation.” This type of woman does believe she is a victim, and feels the need to use the sympathy that equality brings as means of getting what she wants in society. These women do not encourage equality but in fact discourage and demean the act of feminism itself.

We have treated feminism, like clay, since the beginning of women, and kept adding onto it. New standards need to be implemented as the world changes and grows, feminism requires a certain mindfulness. It has become something that is more natural and admired, something more generally accepted. As the definition changes, the opinion changes. It has evolved over the years, through every woman and her unique sense of self.  Feminism has become a stitched-together collage of struggle, strength, and diversity, constantly thought provoking, making us question our treatment of ourselves and others. By being dissatisfied with the outside world around us, we have been able to look inside. A feminist will treat you the way they want to be treated. This is where feminism is unique, they end up looking at both sides without necessarily meaning to. We find ourselves in an unfamiliar middle ground where it can go either ways, society is starting to hate and dislike it. Though it is a misunderstood topic, it is relevant and essential to an equal society.

Though parts of society disagree with feminism, I can say without a doubt in my mind that feminism is helping to empower the women of today, they are speaking for themselves and being themselves. Women do as they please these days, which causes a lot of people to say anything from a range of, “how terrible” to “wow, I love that!”. They will say, “how degrading!” or “she is so free looking!”. There are two extreme ends of the spectrum.

Nowadays, a woman can wear what she wants, say what she wants, date as she wants, not date, shave her head, grow her hair out, marry, divorce, and pursue whatever careers she pleases. These things are not bad, they are beneficial. We can’t prosper in society without growth through diversity, change, rejection of traditional detrimental customs, and an open mind. This applies to women and men alike. That is why feminism is so important, it isn’t just practicing empowerment, it is practicing a more mindful, constructive and insightful way of life. But traditionalism has been around for years? How can we move away from it? How can we move away from the usual way of being, and seeing women? Well, we have to. We just have to put a great deal of effort towards it. We have to fight what is wrong. We wouldn’t be having to fight for anything had these values not been instilled in the first place.

We can start by acknowledging that there is an imbalance issue, and then go from there. The first step is to know that maybe the same way of living and lacking important traits won’t work for  all of the years in the changing world. I have been taught to lead by example and the world seems to lack these crucial traits that feminism holds, so it is natural for I and many women, to try and initiate a general collective effort, to nurture and teach the situation into something we can all grow from. When someone is completely comfortable, open, and there without judgement, it makes it easier for you to act and feel that way around them. So isn’t it safe to say that feminist can help teach the world to think a bit more openly and considerately? We can conclude that through feminism, we can reach a place of teaching and growing.

When you talk about feminism, clothing is brought up often. The topic of female clothing can even be described by the general public as “scandalous” at times, because apparently what a woman wears, is just that offensive and impressionable. This leads me back to traditionalism, traditional values are what the world has been grown from, it is natural for people to not be with the changing ways. Many people who disagree with a woman dressing how she wants, are the ones who also think that choice of clothing speaks for you. They believe in a certain social agenda regarding proper ladies that don’t say much. If it is not the classic dress, it is “revealing, masculine, or too simple”. A woman can’t just wear what she wants just to wear it. She has to have some hidden intent, leading to a great deal of issues in the world where people think clothing means everything. “Her clothes were really skimpy so she must have been a huge slut, she was asking for it.” As if the women can’t tell you she is interested herself. “She is dressed so boringly, she has nothing to say.” Wrong. She has everything to say, she is just comfortable. “She is dressed like a boy, so she is probably a lesbian.” She wears her brother’s hand-me-downs and she has a crush on a lot of guys, she can tell you if she is lesbian, which isn’t your business anyways. My little sister shaved her head, and my grandmother commented about her, “not being pretty anymore.” I didn’t know you had to have hair to be pretty. You do not need hair on your hair or a certain look to be pretty, pretty is a feeling. Maybe, my little sister wasn’t even trying to look pretty; she just wanted to do it for the sake of it. Her hair wasn’t speaking and saying, “ tell me I am pretty”, it is just saying, “ Hi, I am me.” Why do we feel the need to think that a woman can’t outright tell us what she is thinking? We have been taught to guess. All these things I have personally heard in my life when my outfit or another woman’s wasn’t what they had been taught about growing up, or when I was dressed cute and would be told, “boys will look at you”. They should be taught to not stare at others then. We should teach that a woman can speak on her own, and to lessen the judgement.

When a female steps into her day her appearance is judged instantly. People will say that her bold makeup and tight clothes insinuate that she wants to be hollered at, that her clothing choice means she is unintelligent, or that she is being degraded. These are personal choices that she makes and can voice if she likes. People can say, she is degraded or she is empowered, I say, they can’t feel for her. Being degraded or empowered is a feeling. No one can dictate which of those a female feels during her day. Traditionalism has said that women don’t need to speak, which has led people to thinking that they can’t! Feminism reminds females of their voice in the world, and of the choice that they deserve to have.

During class we have been talking about Wonder Women, a classic debate between feminists for years. At first, I judged her character from a traditional standpoint, I thought to myself, “they sexualize her” , until I had read up on the matter. Even myself, a proud feminist, was thrown off. Her costume wasn’t originated for fashion, but for power. She wasn’t made to be sex, but a goddess-like warrior, she is empowered enough to wear what she wants, in this case, it is not much, but that is just the idea, it doesn’t matter what it is because it is her who decides. Wonder Woman was made during the time of pinup girls, some of the original feminists in my eyes. Pinup wasn’t aimed for sex, it was aimed for style and flair. Wonder Woman comes from a place of inspiration and leadership-driven intent. She is a display of feminism. She is heroic, independent, confident, and has been relevant through the years. The challenge and length of time if took to put her onto the big screen reflects the rejection and doubt that feminism has gone through, Wonder Woman has grown and struggled right along side feminism. Wonder Woman is in fact, an  accurate symbol for feminists to look at and better understand why today is the way it is.

        Because the oppression of females has gone on for so long, this has lead to an over compensation within feminism. Many females feel the need to prove that they are not inferior, myself included. I work a hard job, and refuse help because I am there receiving the same pay, so I will do the same work.  We feel the need to say “ We can do what we want!” almost to remind not only the ones around us, but ourselves of this reality as well. This constant proof of freedom can later form an extremist feminist, who hates men, and feels superior. This feminist adds onto the daily confusion of “man hater” or “equality supporter”. When we define feminism, we do not include these hateful stereotypes. We have to ignore the stereotypes and know that generalizations will hold us back from the true idea. This kind of feminism slows the progress and benefit that true feminism brings. Women did not fight to be able to vote, just so they could angrily demand that their female candidates be voted for. Women did not fight to be seen as more than small and frail, all to try to start physical fights with males. Women did not bring up being equal just to have some go and say they are number one, becoming exactly who they were against. Feminism is not meant to be used as some terrible tool. Just because Cindy with the blue hair at Starbucks hates men and says mean things, doesn’t mean all feminists do. That is why it is important that we define feminism in a positive manner and talk about it as a normal, casual topic. Feminism is not so rough-around-the-edges as we make it, but more of a personal feeling or stand-point. It needs to be discussed more, with less fear and more questions—less judgement, and more openness.

Some may ask, what is the difference between feminism, and egalitarianism? Feminism has to do with unique qualities being appreciated, therefore putting a woman into a different category, but not one that is superior, they are just not the same. Feminism begins with women, as I was saying earlier, she is setting the example. Like a lotus growing through murky water, feminism has been shaped through repression, and wouldn’t exist without the imbalance. Feminism acknowledges the imbalance, whereas egalitarianism has to do with everything being one side, everything being the same. Feminism is not saying that we are 100 percent the same, but that we can be different and equally special.

Feminism is a demonstration of something new and for the future. In 2019 and the years to come we can see a world that opens themselves to feminism and its equal mindset that follows. Through adamant and passionate people supporting this new wave movement, we will see change, we will see equality, we will see the standards being exceeded and respected. Feminism isn’t against the world, it is for it.

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My tattoo was done by me

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Santa Cruz 2017 taken by my boyfriend

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Dive in

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I take a different picture every morning.

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Smoking tree in the adventure bus

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My tattoo was done by me

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