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I read so many stories so that I can forget which one is mine…. I am not the person you see. I am a person who is eaten from inside, by tiny insects I call trauma. When you don’t sit and deal with things that hurt you, or things that ripped you apart from inside, they’ll never go away. Yeah you might think that I feel normal in some moments so I might be healing, but you are not. Until you sit…

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“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”

— Juliette Lewis

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“How many times can the same thing break your heart?”

— Unknown

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It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

I never thought I would stick this long

This feels like an achievement

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“Loving me isn’t easy, I have sharp edges, I have missing parts.”

— Donte Collins

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.........

I don’t know how to tell the world out there how I feel now. I don’t know how to be vulnerable when everyone feels so far away. I feel like I am at a party where people are dancing, singing, and living their world while I am in the middle of them, sitting crumpled on the floor with my head in between my knees. I’ve never felt so alone in my life. The monotony of my life feels like a burden on me…

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“More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn’t alone.”

— James Frey; A Million Little Pieces

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“Always defend your right to heal at your own pace. You are taking your time. You are allowed to take your time.”

— Unknown

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sad...

Every time you don’t come to me when I need you, it damages me a little bit more. Every time you are not there when am breaking, it breaks me a little more. Every time I need you and you are busy with something unimportant, it hurts me a little more. And instead of telling you how much it hurts me I keep thinking that I should just accept as I’ve always been accepting everything in my life. I…

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please remember to acknowledge your inner child.

your inner child will forever be a part of you and will forever need to be seen and heard.

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There are days when I look at myself in the mirror with so much disguist, where I curse myself for not trying harder to become a better person. And where I let myself believe that I'm not goood enough.

But then there are moments. Moments like when someone spills water over my shirt and I don't shout at them. I forgive. And laugh.

Moments when I laugh too hard. Hard enough, to make my stomach ache. Yet I remember to include the left out and cornered ones in my joke.

Moments when I don't starve myself just because I'm insecure. Or when I don't claim to love food just to hide my insecurities.

Moments when I smile at the little boy looking at me through the car's window. Or when I don't get annoyed and really do pay attention to what my little sister has to say.

Moments when I catch myself being loving, caring, honest and kind. To myself and to others.

I know, I still do have a hard time forgiving, laughing and living.

But there are moments that tell me-Even though I not good enough yet. I sure am better that what I was.

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To my inner child:

I promise I am trying my best to heal

from everything that hurt you.

I promise I am trying to become

the person you need me to be

so we can both be whole.

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“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

— Virginia Woolf (b. 25 January 1882)

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You were asking me about life while I was thinking about death.

Ships without sail passing in the stillness of night

Bones seeking flesh, flesh seeking earth, earth seeking stars, stars seeking the light they lost.

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“An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we’re comfortable with who we are, can we truly function in a healthy way.”

— Unknown

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“I crave the most innocent parts of a relationship. Like holding hands, forehead kisses and being able to tell someone how much I adore them…”

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