inpursuitofadreamer

[inpursuitofadreamer]

I wasn’t going to buy this, lol. I think i said so in an earlier post. So this was a content drop but actually, the stellaworth after stories were a bonus if you preordered the ltd edition from stellaworth. I think (my doubt being whether the preorder was necessary).

But this is a birthday present, and I have a rule for my birthday: to buy something I wouldn’t normally let myself buy. Of course, this would be it!

And some pins to make an ita bag. I’ve never made one before lol. Of course it would be pins, the one merch thing i actually buy. I got lucky with the full set of the classical quartz pins. A little miffed about the absence of good crystal but neji’s 1st anniversary pin is really nice so I can’t be too upset haha.

Once I buy a standee I will be a true fan lololol

[inpursuitofadreamer]

How to use the JJ 100% guide

Okay so, I’ve been asked a few times about the 100% completion guide that’s out there (JP only, but it’s not too difficult to machine translate enough to get the gist of things as long as you can figure out what the names are meant to be) and wanted to write an intro guide to it because it is, frankly, a behemoth. 

To be clear, you absolutely do NOT need to reach 100% unless you’re looking for the challenge or determined to see every last inch of the game. You can easily beat all the routes and finish the cg gallery without coming anywhere close and that’s perfectly fine. Towada, the lead writer who writes novels for a living, said the game script is longer than 20 books. And to get 100% you need to read every. single. line. This includes a lot of variations depending on both the class award status (1st/2nd/3rd/4th) and Kisa’s individual award rank (1st/2nd/3rd/4th). The class awards you can skate through a bit since they’re based on how you do on the rhythm games so it’s easy to save and reset, but the individual awards are based on Kisa’s skill points which is far more difficult to manipulate to be just high enough but not too high. When I refer to gold/silver/bronze routes, I am referring specifically to Kisa’s award level.

There are different lines for every LI for the various scores and some of them are a fair bit after the play has ended which means that it requires going through every character route a minimum of 2 full times with lots of strategic saves and reloading. In all honesty, I am nowhere near close to completing this thing, but finishing it might take me years and I feel I have a decent grasp on how it works now so I wanted to break it down.

The rhythm games expect for you to get SS rank on every song, but I think as long as you get the right class award it’s not a big issue if you get an S-rank (the only exception might be for Chui’s ending which may require all SS).

Important note: The guide itself is not currently in a 100% complete state. Mona’s route guide is missing. The site owner is aware of this but cannot find the contents of the page so she said she will need to rewrite it from scratch which could take quite a long time. His ending isn’t hard to get if you hang out with him every possible weekend, but there may be small choices missed here and there. I would strongly advise keeping notes as you play! Particularly for any missed dialogue choices or weekend events and for keeping track of your save files.

General Advice:

-Keep a close eye on your stats and Enishi’s predictions. The guide should list at different points where your stats should roughly be. There’s a bit of wiggle room given the random nature of the stat bonuses (if you don’t hit 30 by the time the guide does, it tells you to keep with the skill until you reach 30 anyways, then you can switch back). You may need to reload to an earlier save if your stats are too low or high.

-Stay consistent to the guide as much as possible

-Keep running notes of where your saves are and any other issues you may come across (eg. if you were forced to deviate from the guide)

-Ion has a ludicrous amount of dialogue. You must talk to him every weekend he’s available about the same song for every single song because he has unique dialogue for each one (unsure about final play songs). These are split up between Suzu’s gold route, Ion’s route, Mitsuki’s bronze route, and Neji’s bronze route. Mona also has different dialogue for every single day he’s available.

-Generally you only pick one option per playthrough but for some that might be hard to get again, you should save before the event, play through it fully with one option, then you can load and replay it with the other ones, using skip read to go through the old dialogue.

About save files

You should be prepared to give up at least a good 30 save slots. If you’re gonna play it super minimalist route by route you could maybe get away with around 6, but 30 seems like a good amount to play comfortably and not risk missing things. I would strongly advise you hold off on collecting those special save slots until you are close to finishing as they use over half of your slots (50 is nowhere near enough ahhh). There is a list of all the numbered save slots at the end for reference.

Overall Guide

Step 1: Finish playing the game however you would most enjoy playing it The guide will dictate all your choices and some of them would feel pretty unfulfilling for a first playthrough of a route (eg. spending all your time with Mona or Ion instead of the LI). It’s best not to deviate from the guide choices as it can create more issues later on in not remembering what was picked or not. There are a small number of choices with lines of dialogue much later and those can be a tremendous pain to go hunting for.

Step 2: Gold Runs

I call these the ‘gold route runs’ where basically you play through each of the LI routes with both Quartz and Kisa winning gold. As you play you will set up save points to pick up later for the silver runs and for the bronze runs. This will probably retread a lot of the same content you saw in your first playthroughs as it’s mostly Kisa hanging out with the specific LI and raising his skills and not much else. Skip read is your friend. You do NOT have to play these routes in the designated order. You can if you find it easier, but as long as you keep track of which saves are where, you should be okay. 

On these routes, you will make saves on the following dates (exceptions noted): *6/1 (pickup for bronze runs, not for Mitsuki), 7/13, 9/21, *12/1 (*11/27 for Kai) There’s also a 12/25 save for Kisa and Mitsuki.

Suzu | Sou | Mitsuki | Kai | Fumi | Neji | Kisa (side characters)

Some of the routes also set it up for other endings. Suzu’s gold run 12/1 save is the pickup point for Ion’s route and Mitsuki’s 12/25 is the pickup for Chui’s. So it’s recommended to keep those saves still until you complete those endings as well.

Ion | Chui

Step 3: Silver Runs (can be done with Step 2)

When you’ve completed a character’s gold route, use the silver medal guides to get Kisa the silver awards based on picking up your previous save points and sleeping basically all the time until the performance day. The guide recommends that you complete the designated days, save at the start of the next one, then you can load the next save point. These generally take far less time than the gold runs.

Suzu | Sou | Mitsuki | Kai | Fumi | Neji

Step 4: Bronze Runs (complete after 2 and 3)

These are where you will use those 6/1 saves. You’ll need to save over all the rest or you’ll likely run out of slots and confuse yourself. If you’ve been trying to play with as few save slots as possible, you can also just restart from the beginning using the gold run guides up to this point. (Note: Mitsuki’s bronze route must be restarted from the beginning)

These saves are on a wider variety of dates so it’s highly recommended you check with the guide or with the list of save number list at the end. 

But generally they are around: 8/16, 10/12, 12/14, 12/25

Suzu | Sou | Mitsuki | Kai | Fumi | Neji

Step 5: Scenario Cleanup

Even after all this, you still aren’t done! In addition to the Mona route, there’s another Kisa route required. After this, you should have completed: every iteration of medals for Kisa with each LI, all the class medal ranks, all of Ion’s dialogue for every song, all of Mona’s events, every possible weekend event, every RNG event, and every branching dialogue option.

I didn’t see any link for the two expulsion events (this may be part of the bronze runs) but I did find an explanation about them here (JP) if you’re stuck at 99%. Basically, there are two versions of getting kicked out by the principal on 12/25, with poor grades and with both poor grades and poor affection scores. I tried to summarize it.

Grades version: 

Newcomer/summer: Kisa comes in 3rd or 4th; keep your highest stat below 22 and your other stats 3 or lower

Fall: 10/26 dialogue with principal; overall score on individual awards for the year should be B or lower

11/24 dialogue with Enishi

Winter: if your cumulative individual awards score is C, you will be expelled after the winter play (it recommends scoring: 4th, 3rd, 3rd, 2nd but various combinations are ok)

Affection version:

Still seems to require ending with an overall C score but there’s additional dialogue if affection is also low. 

10/26 principal dialogue if you have not seen any of the second character affection events. (note: if you haven’t seen the first one, all character affection event flags disappear after the fall play)

Winter: cumulative score of C and no affection events at 2 or higher

Hopefully, HOPEFULLY once you get to that point you will finally reach 100%. Again, I really do not recommend it unless you're really diehard about it. No idea if I'll ever get there myself before JJ2 comes out but at least having a path can help for whatever foolish souls (me) want to attempt such a feat.

List of Saves

Since the saves in the guide are referred to solely by number, I made a guide to keep track of them all for ease of reference. Saves should be made at the beginning of the day before any actions.

Ion songs: (plane tree, ms. robin, ghost party; Ion route: havenna)

1 - Suzu 7/13

2 - Suzu 9/21

3 - Suzu 12/1 (Ion save)

temp save before final song of last performance; get C for silver class award; can save over after (do this for all routes)

4 - Sou 7/13

5 - Sou 9/21

6 - Sou 12/1

*Mitsu’s doesn’t seem to pickup for bronze run on 6/1, have to restart 

7 - Mitsu 7/13

8 - Mitsu 9/21

9 - Mitsu 12/1

10 - Mitsu 12/25 (chui save)

11 - Kai 7/13

12 - Kai 9/21

13 - Kai 11/27

14 - Fumi 7/13

15 - Fumi 9/21 

16 - Fumi 12/1

17 - Neji 7/13

18 - Neji 9/21

19 - Neji 12/1

20 - Kisa 12/25 (side chara run)

21? cannot find - Mona route?

—

22 - Suzu2 7/13

23 - Suzu2 8/16 (before onsen)

24 - Suzu2 10/12

25 - Suzu2 12/14

26 - Sou2 8/16 (before onsen)

27 - Sou2 10/12

28 - Sou2 12/14

29 - Sou2 12/25

Ion songs - Mitsu2 (fortune color, great galleon, friend without a name, confession)

30 - Mitsu2  8/16 (onsen) *note there’s a typo that says save 1 but I believe it’s save 30

31 - Mitsu2 10/13

32- Mitsu2 - 12/14

33 - Kai2 8/16 (onsen)

34 - Kai2 10/12

35 - Kai2 12/14

36 - Kai2 12/25

37 - Kai2 1/31 (after reloading from save 36)

38 - Fumi2 8/16 (onsen)

39 - Fumi2 10/12

40 - Fumi2 12/14

41 - Fumi2 12/25

Ion songs - Neji2 (compass line, hallelujah, faded color)

42 - Neji2 8/16

43 - Neji2 10/12

44 - Neji2 12/14

45 - Neji2 - 12/25

46 - Neji2 1/30

Scenario cleanup

47 - Kisa2 12/19

48 - Kisa2 12/25

[inpursuitofadreamer]

I Love JJ Fandom <3

Seriously. And I never thought I would be able to say that.

I was talking about this a bit in the @jackjeannebrainrot server (if you're into JJ, join us, it's a really good time!).

I'm in my late 30s, and have been in various fandoms over the years. Fandoms where antis threaten your livelihood and berate you until you take your fanwork down, find your job, and try to get you fired. I didn't realize until we were talking about it, that the reason I try to follow all of the "rules" for creators of fan works is because of the amount of bullying that I went through. I didn't even realize that it had been traumatic for me until I started realizing it's ok not to follow the "rules".

That's why I don't / haven't posted fan work or even the *checks drafts* six-ish analysis posts I have started and never finished. I actually have written and drawn quite a bit, but I get nervous I am going to incite an angry mob that would break my spirit. So I just don't.

Maybe that's also why I feel so defensive of characters I like? And I really like all of JJ's cast. And I'm a big softie so I want the best for all of them, even the shitty ones like Chuza and Enishi, haha. I try not to shy away from seeing their faults, but I do get a bit overprotective. I don't want them to go on the list for "if you like this character or ship, you're actually a terrible person and deserve to die."

JJ Fandom isn't like that. Not at all. It feels safe and cozy here.

So if you're feeling apprehensive about engaging JJ Fandom, posting work, or general social anxiety - don't worry, come on in, the water's fine.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

This is fantastic, thank you for linking it to me in the server. I am absolutely fascinated by this theory!! Seeing it all put together like this is so interesting!

Hold up, you have to delve deeper on the part of Kisa being an only child. Because then where does Tsuki fit in all of this.

I genuinely believe that Tsuki turned into the white furry animal with the moon symbol.

WHEW, I wish it was possible to give a short answer to this question, but it’s… not. I spent all afternoon cobbling together this messy theory essay for you. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on it!

Kisa route spoilers, Fumi route spoilers, bonus content spoilers, basically spoilers all over the place. Read at your own risk.

Okay so first of all, let’s take a look at their names.

Tachibana Kisa: 立花 希佐

Tachibana Tsuki: 立花 継希

The kanji for Tsuki meaning moon, which would be pretty normal to use for a name, is 月.

But as you can see, Tsuki’s name doesn’t use this. It actually uses a kinda weird combo of kanji used to make his name. And the second kanji in it, 希, is one that is also in Kisa’s name.

Now, it’s not like it’s unheard of to have siblings with matching names, it’s definitely possible their parents just chose names that would be cute together. But interestingly, there are actually a couple variations on ‘Kisa’ that do use the kanji for moon, such as 月彩 and 綺月. So if that were all it was, it would have been pretty easy to do, I imagine. But there’s also another possibility, which we’ll get into in a moment!

The game often translates references to Kisa’s name that use this word as ‘rare’, probably in reference to her rare talent or something. But this kanji can also be translated to mean ‘a wish, a hope/desire for something to happen’.

The first kanji in Tsuki’s name is 継 which can be translated to mean ‘succession/inheritance/continuation’. With those two kanji, we could infer that Tsuki’s name can be read as, ‘hope for an heir/successor’. This kanji can also be translated to mean ‘a connection/bond, to join or link together’ which is another thing I’ll come back to later.

The Tamasaka Troupe theatre legacy begins with Chuza Tsukihiko, the ancestor of Univeil’s current principal, Chuza Shuri. This is the deified figure to whom Himehiko Shrine is dedicated. I won’t get into it too much, but if you’ve played the Kisa route then you know there’s an ongoing power struggle over who will next inherit the Himehiko name and the Tamasaka power and legacy. Etc etc. So we know where this idea of ‘succession’ or ‘heir’ might be coming in.

In the beginning of the 'Moon Signpost' novel, a young Kisa (roughly 6 years old) is devastated after the death of her mother. She doesn’t eat or sleep and is basically catatonic from severe depression. The thing that finally draws her out of her unresponsive state is a strange experience with a mysterious woman who attempts to cheer her up—but this woman is actually her brother, Tsuki. (Or is it?)

You can read a translated copy of the novel’s first chapter here.

In case you didn’t click, I’ll pluck out a few relevant lines from those first few paragraphs, and you can judge for yourself. (The “boy” in the context of these quotes is Kisa, she’s playacting as a boy for parts of the scene.)

The voice was sudden. Within the darkness of her closed eyes, a faint white light rose forth. It was in the shape of a woman she found familiar somehow.

Something else was weird. With her eyes closed, the hazy pure-white ring of light suddenly took a clear shape in front of her. "Good evening." This person was a beautiful smiling woman-- but not really. It was actually someone Kisa had known ever since she was born, her older brother of four years, Tsuki Tachibana. Her brother looked at her with a face she had never seen before. It was as if somehow the moonlight that crept in through the window had bathed his back in light, surrounding him in a delicate circle. Who is this person? Kisa wondered. Who am I? Maybe, maybe I'm not Kisa and he isn't Tsuki? But then, who are we? No wait, the answer was there from the beginning.

The woman beamed a smile, sang a song joyfully, took his hand and danced. The boy had seen this before. Just like.... Mom. The woman was just like her. The voice, mannerisms, everything. Like the boy's mother -- like Kisa's mother. No, it was just an imitation. Ever since her mother died, Kisa's heart had closed.

"Let's sing and dance together every day. I will be here for you." The woman smiled. Tsuki smiled. Even though Tsuki faced that same bitterness, sadness, loneliness. "In exchange for your mom who went to the moon, I will become a mom for you.”

The scene can be read in a couple different ways. It could be Tsuki is playing pretend at being their mother to cheer Kisa up, which I think is the intended surface reading.

It also could be that a spirit (in this case Tsukihiko) took on the form of Kisa’s mother to take her place (in the quest to raise Kisa to eventually become a suitable heir to the Himehiko name), but Kisa’s mind rejected the attempt as she could tell it was an imitation, and identified the spirit as her brother instead.

Kisa, canonically, can see and be possessed by ghosts, as evidenced by several events in the test of courage sequence in the game, but especially Kai’s variation. It’s possible that this is why she was not fooled by Tsukihiko’s attempt to act as her mother, if indeed that’s what was happening here.

(Editing to add: It's also possible that Tsukihiko has been guiding Kisa for several years at this point, and didn't realize that her ghost-seeing powers enabled her to actually see him prior to this and internalize him years ago as her 'brother'. ) (And in regards to Tsuki also facing 'that same bitterness, sadness, loneliness'... quick reminder here that Chui tells us in the Kisa route that Tsukihiko died from heartbreak.)

The figure left standing there was unmistakably her brother. It was late at night in an empty shrine where they had set their scene on the slide in the sandbox. The two of them stood on top of it, the place closest to the moon.

Interesting to note that this occurred on sacred ground—at a shrine. The same shrine that we know Kisa, Sou, and Tsuki will later always play pretend at, where Kisa discovers her love of acting. And Univeil itself is also on or very near sacred ground, because of its proximity to the sacred mountain, Mount Oodate. Because of this, as far as we know, it’s possible that Tsuki has never appeared anywhere that wasn’t sacred ground, or very close to it.

On the topic of Mount Oodate, Kai states that weasels like Tummy/Onaka are sacred animals who serve the mountain’s god. Pretty normal for high power spirits/deities to have smaller, weaker spirits serving them, and these smaller spirits frequently take on animal forms in Japanese folklore, so that all checks out. Also worth noting that the god of Himehiko Shrine (Himehiko aka Tsukihiko) and the god of Mount Oodate are not the same—as established by one of the townspeople in the game, the mountain god is much older and more powerful. Still, I think it’s not a stretch to think that the mountain’s sacred animals could be working with or have some other connection to the Himehiko Shrine god.

In the Sui Ishida art exhibition booklet, there’s an image of first year Tsuki and an accompanying scene (possibly cut from the game) that talks about him dancing a kagura dance. The story of the song is about Himehiko (presumably Tsukihiko?) calming the mountain god with a dance. (This might be related to the Himehiko curse in some way, but I don’t have the energy/resources to investigate that angle atm tbh) So we know there’s a connection here between Tsuki, Himehiko/Tsukihiko, and the god of Mount Oodate.

Kagura dance, by the way, is a type of sacred, ceremonial Shinto dance intended to appease and entertain the gods. So there’s a bit of a meta thing going on here: Tsuki, who might be Tsukihiko, is dancing a kagura dance depicting a Himehiko, who might also be Tsukihiko, dancing a kagura dance.

There are so few Tsuki scenes in the game (let alone ones with CGs!) that one has to assume this scene would have been intended to have some significance. Presumably, Tsuki is dancing for the mountain god here (though I suppose it would be funny if he were dancing for Himehiko!!) If so, what’s the significance of this scene? Maybe a reminder to the mountain god of Tsukihiko’s past loyalty? A request for divine aid in achieving his current goal to find a successor? If so, then Tummy’s presence would indicate the mountain god acquiesced…!

I don’t have them on hand, but there’s also a number of lines about Tsuki throughout the game that suggest something strange is going on. Fumi says that Tsuki never mentioned that he had a sister, and the conclusion that he draws from that is that maybe Tsuki believed that Kisa would attend Univeil herself and wouldn’t want to cause difficulty for her to do so by mentioning her (girl) existence. But honestly that’s a bit of an insane conclusion to draw. Why would Tsuki have ever assumed there was a possibility that Kisa would come to Univeil, and therefore he should keep his mouth shut? As far as we know, he didn’t talk to Kisa about the possibility or encourage her to try. So where would that assumption have come from?

There are also a few other things mentioned—Tsuki identifies Kai’s talent long before Neji does, and expresses to Fumi that he might be a good Jack Ace. Tsuki is described as having a strong affinity for animals, who tend to trust him. He’s also described as hanging back from social interaction and just watching his classmates with amusement instead of getting involved. When he’s on stage, he seems to prioritize having fun and making sure everyone else on stage with him is having fun too. All of these things could indicate he’s just a really cool senpai who’s super gifted at theatre… or that he’s the physical manifestation of a playful theatre god. It makes at least as much sense as the 'turned into a weasel' theory, imo!

Chuza Shuri also says (I believe this is in the Kisa route) that he felt like he was being pulled by a supernatural force to the shrine that led him to discover Kisa. It’s a quick, offhand line, but it’s not likely to be the kind of line you’d put in if it didn’t mean something. Tummy went to get Kisa, the spirit of Tsukihiko went to get his descendant, and the two of them met “by chance” at that shrine. Hmmm…!!

Okay, back to six-year-old Kisa for a moment.

"You are not 'my' mother." Kisa smiled as she spoke. "You are Tsuki Tachibana. My big brother."

How many times had her brother's name passed her lips, she wondered. "Tsuki, if I lost even you too, it would be horrible." Kisa gripped her brother's hands firmly. They were bigger than hers, but his small palms were far from the size of an adult's. She squeezed even tighter, to keep this from disappearing. As if melted away by the heat, the woman who danced so beautifully holding hands with the boy began to vanish.

Kisa is the one who says this person’s name is Tsuki, identifying him as someone with a name eerily similar to ‘Tsukihiko’. It’s interesting that Kisa also wonders ‘how many times her brother’s name has passed her lips’—why point that out specifically? Perhaps because this is actually the first time?

Names are of vital significance in the folklore of cultures all over the world, and Japan is not an exception. To manifest itself, we might assume that this spirit borrowed a kanji from Kisa’s name, 希, and combined it with the kanji for a bond, 継— creating 継希, the ‘wish for an heir’, pronounced ‘Tsuki’. Thus the spirit of Tsukihiko takes on human form (an akitsumikami, 明神, the physical incarnation of a god) and becomes Tsuki Tachibana—the brother that Kisa now believes she has had all her life.

In conclusion, though neither she nor anybody else knows it anymore… Kisa Tachibana is an only child.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

I made a venn diagram about the people that are into my niche hobbies

if you're in this diagram and curious about singing barbershop style, you can find a chorus or quartet through the barbershop harmony society or harmony inc. (I'm with harmony, inc!)

if you're in this diagram and curious about jack jeanne, you can buy it digitally in the nintendo eshop or a physical copy from the aksys games store. (Or find a playthrough on youtube)

[inpursuitofadreamer]

So, The Credit Card Companies Are Coming For Our Indie Games Too

Indie games platform itch.io becomes the latest victim of Collective Shout, an Australian based anti-porn group, that was responsible for Steam’s recent purge of “explicit” games and stricter moderation protocols. Earlier this month, the group pressured payment processors, including Visa, Mastercard, and even PayPal about their services being used on platforms contain explicit and graphic…

[inpursuitofadreamer]

I think, for the content drops, I have finally collected everything!

Yeah, the original soundtrack is available on spotify but I wanted to have it in case they don't renew the license for it at some point and take it down. That seems to be happening once in a while.

There hasn't been updates on when the drama cd should release but that would be the next thing.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

like moths to a flame

[inpursuitofadreamer]

Rolling girl

[inpursuitofadreamer]

Jack Jeanne Limited Edition Box Set JP Version

Yes, friend, if you’re wondering, this makes three copies of the game.

Ahh! It’s here!

So excited!! Other bit of content down, the novel Another and the drama cd. There are pictures in this art book that are not in the complete collection, specifically small snips of concept art for each LI and side characters. I was surprised that the copy of the game included was still in its shrink wrap. The listing on Mercari made it seem it would be in worse condition but it looked like the books hadn’t even been touched. No bend in the spine or anything. The box is basically in mint condition.

I would like to have the stella stories but the cheapest I’ve seen them was $65ish there’s no way I’m paying that for a small booklet.

This was my first time purchasing from Mercari so I was a bit wary, but it says the seller doesn’t get paid until you finalize the transaction, confirming you received the item and you’re satisfied with it. It was a really good experience.

I’m excited to listen to the drama cd while I’m out on my daily walk. If it ever stops raining lmao

[inpursuitofadreamer]

The collecting begins!

The cds I purchased arrived so I thought it was time to start my ~collection~ posts

I don’t plan on buying merch in terms of, like, I don’t really do the whole, trading cards, pins, stands etc thing. I would get them if I see something at a convention if i liked them but tbh I rarely see any otome stuff in general. My kryptonite is art. That’s why I preordered 2 sets of Foilage and Kouseki like a crazy person. It was the bromides.

Tho if I can get it together with another purchase I wouldn’t mind a keychain. But my ultimate white whale is the headphones. Oh and the ltd switch. Maybe they will do releases for JJ2. I will absolutely offer someone else’s firstborn child for the headphones lol

Oh, I have a Problem with headphones btw.

Next is the drama cd (jazz festival), the original soundtrack, and shuffle 1.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

2025: the year of project improve health!

Here’s the baseline health post I said I would make.

I will try to be brief but like, I have a hard time with that, lol.

Basically what I have is called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. It’s when there is compression of the nerves and/or blood vessels between the neck and shoulder. There are a bunch of ways this can happen. For me, it was abnormal anatomy. I didn’t have an extra rib, but my clavicle and 1st rib were too close together on the right side and on the left I had extraneous fibrous bands that bound the nerves and veins to my ribs.

I lost sensation in my hands completely, and in my right hand my forefinger, pinky, and thumb became weak enough I couldn’t hold a pen or make a fist. My left hand started to go numb. I also had migraines 25/30 days a month.

I am extremely fortunate that it was caught when it was, because the nerve damage was bad but not irreparable. The first surgery removed my 1st rib on the right side. The second surgery was a nerve graft because the long thoracic nerve was damaged and i couldn’t lift my arm anymore. Surgery number 3 removed the muscle that was binding the nerves and blood vessels down to my ribs on the left side.

It’s been almost 5 months since surgery 3. Two years of physical therapy in total, I have recovered all of my mobility in my hands and arms, though everything is still very weak. My right hand has regained all sensation but the left hand still hasn’t regained much sensation in my pinky. Still, I dont have sporadic movements anymore and I can type, hold a pencil, or a mug.

In addition, I have Narcolepsy. It’s a sleep disorder that causes a bunch of sleep related…. glitches. Like, hypersomnia, insomnia, entering REM sleep within minutes of falling asleep, sleep paralysis (waking up while still under the effects of sleep paralytic chemicals) and cataplexy (your body releasing said paralysis chemical while awake). there are lots of sleep related quirks like sleep walking, brain fog, excessive daytime sleepiness, short term memory loss, etc. A lot of people think I have some neurospiciness but it seems like it’s really due to chronic sleep deprivation.

So! Goals! WTF do I even want to do?

A long time ago went to I college for Illustration and Visual Culture Studies - it’s basically an art history degree that focuses more on the relationship between culture, philosophy, and art instead of the ah… established Institutionalization of High Art (like museums, techniques, and aesthetics). There’s a bit of both in all study of formalized art history but VCS is more concerned with the why a painting was created vs the how.

I also studied Japanese language for a few years during all this, but eventually my college realized I had been taking like 23 credits a semester for like 3 years and got super pissed.

Then I got a Masters of Art in Education since back then, education was a secure job. Thankfully it was a 1yr program with the sister university to the one I went to for art - I could cut off a year because I already had the art education so I only needed to take the education classes and student teaching. God I wish I could tell my 20 yr old self not to bother back then, but I met my husband while I was working on my Masters, so I can’t regret it like that lol.

After working in the hell hole that is education for a couple years, I went back to school at an advertising vocational program for a year. I worked at an advertising agency as a designer/illustrator until the whole debacle with my health got so bad that I couldn’t work anymore. That was about 3 years ago.

I don’t really think my body can handle the 90hr weeks I was doing when I was working in advertising, and there’s no way in hell I am going back to education. Tho, I actually loved working in advertising - but then again, I worked at a boutique advertising agency that focused on experiences and making Art, we didn’t do much with traditional adverts like print or commercials. So, if I found an agency that would do the whole, work life balance thing, I wouldn’t mind working in advertising again. But really, I doubt that’s possible these days.

My ✨Dream✨ is to make my own otome game.

I would love to make one that is as robust with art, music, and good writing the way jack jeanne is - that’s the core of my motivation for indulging my fascination and love for JJ. What if I could actually make something that’s even half as good as JJ? If I can pull all the experience I have earned over my life and make something meaningful? That prospect makes me excited.

I started taking harp lessons last year during the summer, and I am so excited to get back to it. I want to paint and draw and write fanfiction for this ridiculous franchise that has both my pursestrings and my heartstrings in a tight fist. Maybe I will even be able to arrange the songs for the harp. And I want to use it to study Japanese. So that when JJ2 comes out I will be able to read it without waiting for the localization lol. And! Once I have a chance to visit my friends in Japan, we’ll be able to chat like old times.

がんばりましようよ〜！

[inpursuitofadreamer]

Tag Adjustments

I decided to change my tags around so that they are more clearly defined. That way if you don't want to see something, you don't have to more easily.

Also, I could probably use a better system of organization. I so easily overwhelm myself.

updates - related to projects having to do about jack jeanne / this blog

purchase - jack jeanne related stuff I purchase

personal - about jack jeanne, however, contains personal anecdotes and/or is based on my personal experience, sometimes of a sensitive nature

health - unrelated to jack jeanne at all and only has to do with my physical / emotional / mental health

I dont plan to make this blog a journal about my personal health - maybe something here and there that is more like microblogging. Basically, I would love to be able to look at this blog in a couple years and click on the health tag and see how I have gotten better in particular in relationship to the projects I want to work on. I want to see evidence in my growth, and I want to see how my continued creativity and a positive relation with JJ and the JJ community contributes to my physical health. I haven't felt this creative or motivated in a while, and it is jumpstarting the effort to work hard on the "year of getting healthy". I will write an extensive post detailing my health stuff later, to set the baseline.

I'm sure plenty of people don't care or may even be triggered by other people's health problems, so I will try to keep them separate from my JJ stuff.

If my health hinders a project I am working on tho, it might be necessary to mention, but I will do so briefly in the post about the project, but if I need to go into detail I will do so in a post that is only 'health'.

Hope that works.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

I mean, it was 50% off, so…

Ok, ok, ok ok. So. I have, shamefully, neglected studying Japanese for a long time. Back in like, 2021, we had to move across the whole country, and our Japanese friends moved back to Japan. Since then, I intended to continue studying Japanese so that I would be good to go when we go visit… it’s 2025 and I uh. Haven’t at all. I don’t remember much? There isn’t a Japanese community where we live now, so language practice is not an option. SO since I’ve become obsessed with this game, time to use it as a launch pad for Japanese language studies.

I have nothing else to do. Since this is the year of ‘Absolutely Not Allowed to do Anything Other Than Get Healthy’. Seems like a good use of my time! A few months ago I bought a few games that have both english and japanese, and started reviewing my old japanese textbooks from college, so I’m starting to remember a bit.

I’m also starting to get curious about all the stuff the english translation isn’t communicating. There are a few times where the translation says something different than what i’m hearing and I’ve noticed specifically unvoiced weekend scenarios get cut off or make incomplete sentences? and there are several times the translation just doesn’t make sense that I desperately want to see the original text.

I have also been keeping lists of the different ways a specific simple phrase in english is being translated in the game. Especially when that isn’t the actual thing being said? But my Japanese is so rusty that I sometimes have a hard time differentiating clauses. I figured it was about time that I just bought the game in Japanese and called it a day. I was going to see if I could buy the original release limited edition set from someone on mercari (because of the ‘another story’ novel only available in there) but the sale was too good to pass up.

Because ‘past passive potential’ concepts in Japanese don’t translate well to English.

I also purchased all the JJ novels, preordered the new one, and the foilage manga, and the artbook.

I would like to get the cds, but first!!! I cd drive (what is a disk drive???? lmfao I haven’t had a cd player in 20? years, god, I feel so old).

Also! Even better yet, I feel inspired to make fanworks!

The idea I have rn, is Tamasaka Troupe makes Neji finish I Am Death post game (he works for them now he can’t get out of it bwahahaha), and Kisa is cast as Al Jeanne (they own the school she can’t get out of it bwahahaha), as the culminating play for Chui before he graduates. I have some pictures in my head of what neji-route Gashadokuro could end up looking like / becoming (I like the costume/concept of that one in particular). I’m working on a fic now sorta but it’s only to establish scenes in my head for paintings… how to rework the play to make it more of a story (basically reinterpret the one from kai’s route, mostly?) so i have opportunities to add more of the cast, group dances and such. i don’t want to use too much from when neji was al jeanne, but it’s a given I’ll need to reference it. it won’t be a manga, more like an illustrated story most likely?

my friends sent me some nice paint brushes to congratulate me on surgery recovery, so i want to paintttttt. I’m sure the fine motor movement practice will help with recovering better use of my hands.

the plan, if my shoulder holds up to the strain, is to start playing the harp again soon! I mean, it has to lean against the shoulder that was operated on, so that might be hard but, soon!

wish me luck!

[inpursuitofadreamer]

Kai. Oh, Kai.

Anyone else was “meh” about disney princess Kai until the end of the winter play when it fades to black and he says, “O Rama……. Havenna” ?

Damn.

DAYUM.

That line lives in my head rent free.

[inpursuitofadreamer]

What I didnt expect today? Dayum. I was just shitposting but @archaeren answered my dumb question. Answer to dumb question was actually really interesting??? Thank you tons!

No, genuinely, this is great. My mind is blown. Top notch character design is such a delight. I get so excited when I see stuff like this.

Every time Chui is on screen I cant help but spend a stupid amount of time staring at his belt buckle.

What is this? Why does it look so upset? Is it sentient? Skintight black shirt, Neon green shoulder slime, a gold coin, a conch piercing, and a worried tooth belt buckle. Chui please…….. are you at least wearing shoes?

[inpursuitofadreamer]

If Quartz comes in last place at the fall performance, Tanakamigi Chui will unhinge his cryptid jaw and viciously rend the flesh from the bones of his Amber underclassmen in response to their mockery.

this is really only a slight exaggeration tbh