intojatp

[intojatp]

when I was your friend (Natasha Romanoff one shot)

I got this idea while listening to when I was your man by bruno mars. this will be more sad, and even though I know this is a Bucky Barnes 'book' this will more revolve around Natasha, leaving the reader heartbroken after her best friend passed away. This also takes place after Tony's death, leaving you to hope he'll take care of Natasha from now on. I hope you enjoy this.

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It's been weeks since your best friend had passed away, but you truly couldn't seem to get over it. You were sure that this feeling would never go away. You'd always miss her. She left a hole in your heart you didn't know how to fill in again. You were glad you still had most of your amazing friends and your lovely boyfriend, Bucky. They tried everything to cheer you up, and sometimes it actually got easier for a while. But as soon as you entered the room you two used to share, your world came crushing in again. But you know that it could be worse. Without those people in your life you would have definitely ended your life a long time ago. They gave you that kind of strength to keep going with your life, and you had no idea how they did it, but you were glad that they did. Mostly Bucky.

You once again entered your now so quiet and almost empty room. When Natasha was still around it always felt like a party in here. And god, it annoyed you most of the time. But now that she wasn't around anymore, you'd do anything to get this back. But no matter how hard you'd try, she would never come back. And you had to live with that for the rest of your life.

You walked up to the piano you used to share. You didn't play often, mostly because you didn't have time for it anymore. But when you played, you only played for Bucky or Natasha. They would always have to beg you for hours to play, and you'd just get annoyed by them after some time and started playing, hoping they would leave you alone afterwards. You sat down on the bench and put your fingers on the keys. You didn't know if you were ready to play again, but you were hoping it would make you feel closer to her again.

"Are you okay, doll?"

You turned your head to the door, seeing your boyfriend leaning on the door frame. He gave you a soft smile, which you replied. You didn't know how he did it, but just having him close to you lifted your mood most of the time. You were so happy to have him.

'Yes, I am. I wanted to play again.. I was hoping it'd make me feel closer to her again.'

Bucky started walking towards you. He sat down next to you and laid his arm around you. It gave you a feeling of comfort and safety. As long as he was around, you knew you could do anything. Anything was possible for you. And dear, did you know he felt the same way about you.

'I got you, Y/N. I'm with you for the end of life. Whenever you're ready, I'll be there for you.'

You gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and put your fingers on the keys again. You took a deep breath and started playing, already leaving a smile on Bucky's face.

"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name"

Tears already shot up your eyes. All the memories you had with her in this room, all the late night talks, all the little fights, they all came up. She was here with you from the beginning. She saw how you fell for Bucky, she was the first who found out about you two dating, she listened to you whenever you had an argument with him. She always helped you. She was your rock when things got tough and you were hers. Who would do all of this with you now?

Bucky noticed the tears in your eyes and started rubbing your back. He didn't want to interrupt you, but he somehow wanted to show you that he was there with you, and he would never leave your side again.

"It all just sounds like ooh, ooh, ooh, hoo

Mm, too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Go with you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancing

But she's dancing at a better place"

Nat always wanted to go to parties with you, but you were the kind of person who'd rather stay in. You were too scared to meet new people, you always let your social anxiety get to you, even though you didn't want that to happen. Nat always understood, but she sometimes got quite annoyed by this. She would never tell you this though, she knew that it wasn't your fault. But she never had to tell you, you just knew. And you couldn't be mad at her for that.

"My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh

And that haunts me every time I close my eyes"

Shortly before she went on that mission with Hawkeye, you two had a little argument. You should've went on that mission, but since you and Hawkeye never really seemed to get along you wanted to go with Steve, Bruce and Tony. You obviously regretted not going now, it should've been you instead of her. You felt like it was your fault she died, and you'd feel like this for the rest of your life.

Bucky knew how you felt. He'd always tell you that it wasn't your fault, and that it shouldn't have been you. But no matter what he told you, you never believed any of it. Bucky hated that he couldn't change your mind, but he knew he wouldn't stop until you finally believed him. It broke his heart to see how you slowly fell apart, but he couldn't do anything except hoping that one day you'd recover from this. And he'd be there for every step of that way.

"It all just sounds like ooh, ooh, ooh, hoo

Mm, too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Go with you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancing

But she's dancing at a better place

Although it hurts

I'll be the first to say that I was wrong

Oh, I know I'm probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers

I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours

When he has the chance

Take you to every party

'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance

Do all the things I should have done

When I was your friend

Do all the things I should have done

When I was your friend"

The only thing that truly gave you hope was that now Tony was with her, and he would definitely take good care of her. You missed him almost just as much as you missed her, but it was still easier on you.

You took your fingers off the piano keys and just sat there for a few seconds. Bucky didn't say anything, he just looked at you to see any kind of reaction on your face. He wanted to be ready for any kind of emotion, he wanted to be there for you, now more than ever.

After a minute or so you couldn't hold it in anymore. You started breaking down right into Bucky's arms. He pulled you closer to him, letting you cry into his chest. He held onto you as much as he could, because if he'd let go you would just fall onto the hard, cold ground beneath the both of you. You have never cried this hard, especially never in front of him. You knew it hurt him every time he'd see you like this, which is why you kept feelings like this away from him as much as possible. But right now, you couldn't do it anymore. You had to let everything out, even if it would hurt him.

And it did hurt Bucky. Holding you in his arms, hearing the hardest sobs he has ever heard, coming from the girl he loved the most in this whole world, ripped his heart in two halves. He also had tears running down his cheeks now, but you couldn't see that, which was kind of relieving to him. He left some kisses on the top of your head, before he slowly got up. He still held you in his arms, but he was too scared to keep sitting like this, because if his arms would get weak, you'd fall. And he didn't want you to get even more hurt. He carefully picked you up in bridal style and carried you into his room. He wanted to get you out of there, you were hurting enough today.

As soon as he got to his bed, he carefully laid you down and rushed right next you. He pulled the covers over the two of you and pulled you closer too him again. You felt his metal arm around your waist, and it gave you the feeling of home. You  buried your head into his chest again, and even though his whole shirt was wet because of your tears, it didn't bother you. But you thought that it might bother him, so you quickly helped him out of it.

'You know, it didn't bother me at all, right?'

You just shook your head in response and bury your head into his now bare chest again. Bucky left some soft kisses on your forehead once again, and he soon realized it might've helped you a little bit. Your sobs quiet down, and before you knew, you fell asleep.

'I know it's hard, doll. But you're not alone. And you'll never be. Im with you 'til the end of the line.'

[intojatp]

you will be alright (Luke Patterson imagine)

warnings: none, well maybe some typos

words: 974

idk man im just kinda in the mood for sad imagines/oneshots, so I hope you enjoy this. ♡

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There's no way this was reality. There's no way he was really gone. This can't be his grave right in front of you. He was still there, you knew he didn't just leave you like this. He wouldn't do that, he was never able to leave you, no matter how rough things actually got. This couldn't be your love story. This couldn't be your ending.

All these thoughts were running through your head as you were starring at the grave of your late boyfriend, Luke. You couldn't stop thinking about the moment Emily called you. She was crying and screaming, you couldn't even understand a word she was saying, but you immediately knew that something horrible had happened.

'Luke's gone, Y/N' was the first thing you actually understood.

'Look, Emily, please don't get me wrong, but Luke left you guys almost a year ago'; you said, not realizing what his mother actually wanted to tell you. 'He called me an hour ago, I tried to get him to talk to you but he still wasn't ready. You know he needs time, Emily.'

'No Y/N, Luke is gone. The police called us a few minutes ago.. He passed away..'

You couldn't say a word. Your mind went blank. She had to be kidding, you just talked to him on the phone. There was no way that he just left, he wouldn't do that.

You just hung up on Emily. You regretted it the second you clicked on the red phone button, but you couldn't help it. You felt so many things at once. You later apologized to her but she didn't blame you for your actions, which you were so thankful for but you still couldn't help but to feel absolutely embarrassed and disappointed in yourself.

Luke's parents stood right next to you at his funeral. You held Emily's hand so tight, hoping she would understand that you were here for her. Luke's death hit her hard, obviously. But you couldn't risk losing her, she was like the mother you never had. And for her you also were the daughter she never got to have.

People started leaving after some time, but you just stood there, feeling like you couldn't move at all. You couldn't stop starring into that hole on the ground. He couldn't be buried down there. It must be so cold and dark, things Luke never liked. 'He must be so scared' you whispered, letting some tears run down your cheeks.

'Don't worry, Y/N, Luke is going to be alright' you heard a calm manly voice say. You turned around and saw Bobby standing behind you, giving you a sad but soft smile. You smiled back at him and felt how you started tearing up more and more and as soon as he realized that he pulled you into a loving hug.

'If you want to I can drive you home, everyone left and I don't want you to walk home all by yourself', he said and rubbed your back carefully.

'Oh no, it's okay. Emily and Mitch are waiting for me, I'll stay with them for a bit', you said and pulled away from him, giving him a friendly smile. 'I'll see you around', was the last thing you said before walking over to Mitch's car, where Emily and Mitch where already waiting for you.

The ride home was quiet, you could feel the tension and sadness but couldn't bring yourself to say anything to lighten up the mood a little.

Once you arrived, Emily and you went to the living room and sat down on the couch, while Mitch went to the kitchen to get you all a tea and something to eat.

'You know, I had everything planned out for us' you suddenly said and starred at the wall in front of you, were lots of pictures of Luke were hanging. 'He and his band were gonna make it big and I would become a writer like I always wanted to.. And then when we were ready for it we would've gotten married and maybe even become parents.. And then, when we were old and grey, we would've found peace together. It wasn't his time yet. There was so much stuff we still wanted to do. It just isn't fair.'

Emily was just looking at you, and you suddenly broke down in tears. You couldn't gold it in anymore. You knew you had to let go. Luke was gone and he would never come back.

'Did you ever tell him your plans for your future?'

'No. I was scared that he wouldn't want me in his future. I thought that he might leave me.'

Emily giggled softly and wiped some tears that were running down her face. She then put her arm around you and pulled you closer to her.

'You know, before he left Mitch and me he always told me how he couldn't imagine his future without you by his side. He wouldn't have been able to do anything without you. He used to tell me how he was already planning on proposing to you in the future, he wanted to give you the most beautiful ring and he obviously wanted to offer a beautiful life to you. He never wanted anyone else by his side. He had the same plans for your guys's future as you did.'

What you just heard made you cry even more, but not because of sadness, not at all. Knowing that he felt the same way that you felt for him gave you some kind of comfort. You always knew that he was your soulmate, but now you also knew that you were his as well. And you knew that no matter what happens, he was your person and no one would ever be able to change that.

You will be alright.

[intojatp]

guys i’m sorry but PLEASE just imagine sunset curve singing hey there delilah????? i wouldn’t be able to keep living

[intojatp]

It's Always Been You ( Luke Patterson OneShot)

warnings: cussing, typos

words: 1315

I hope you enjoy this, its my first time writing something like this and I kinda like it, so I wanted to share it with other fantoms!! Also, English isn't my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes in it, but I hope y’all still understand what I’m trying to say

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Well, who exactly would've thought that you'd end up here, in this closet, with the boy you've had feelings for since like forever? You know you should probably say something so you could ease the tension between the both of you at least a little bit, but there was too much going through your head. Things haven't been going so good between you and Luke lately. You have been best friends with the brown haired boy since middle school. You were new since you just moved to L.A., and you had no one. A lot of people were making fun of you because they thought you were weird. Everyone in Los Angeles was so open to every person, everyone seemed to be moving so fast. You were the exact opposite of that. That's what made you seem so weird to everyone. Well, at least to everyone but Luke. One day when some girls were rude to you once again, he came up to you and defended you in front of everyone. That was when you and him became best friends. That's when your whole world changed.

But now, everything was different. You got older. You grew up and you realized that things weren't always gonna be perfect. And right now, it wasn't perfect at all. You fell in love with the person who was most important to you and you knew he would never feel the same way. He has made that clear to you so many times. But you couldn't change the way you feel, no matter how hard you tried, at the end of the day you ended up crying into your pillow because you knew that nothing and no one could change the way you felt for that brown haired boy.

But let's get back to tonight. You got invited to a party by Alex and Reggie. Those two were your only real friends besides Luke, and without them you would've had no one in those past few months since Luke distanced himself from you. You had no idea why he did that, but you also couldn't bring up the courage to talk to him. You were too afraid that he would end up hurting you, even though you knew that he was the one person who would never do that. You knew that it wasn't a good idea since those two guys knew how you felt, and you knew they had a plan, because they always seemed to have something going on inside of their little heads. You knew you would probably regret it, but you still accepted the invite, because everything would be better than laying in your bed while bawling your eyes out to another sad song that you just came across, right? So you went. Everything was going fine so far, you tried to avoid Luke as much as you could and he seemed to be doing the same thing. Everything was fine until Reggie got everyone to come together and play 7 minutes in heaven. You tried to leave but it already was too late. Alex grabbed you by your arm and pulled you to the ground with him. The bottle was spun a lot of times, but you were lucky cause it never stopped with it's top looking right at you. It was getting late and a lot of people had already left, you guys decided to spin the bottle one last time. And of course this time it had to land on you and Luke. You two were just staring at each other, not wanting to believe what was about to happen. You two hated confrontation. But there was no way out now anymore. You suddenly felt how Alex pulled you up from the ground and pushed you into the closet, and just a few seconds later he did the same thing to Luke.

So here you are again. Those minutes felt like hours. No one was saying anything, probably because you both had no idea what to say. But you knew you had to say something, you didn't want to pretend to not see him any longer.

"What happened to us", you finally said and looked at the boy right in front of you, hoping he would finally explain what's been going on with him these past few months.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" was all he answered in such a cold tone. He never spoke to you like this and you weren't gonna let him play dumb this time.

"For gods sake, Luke! You've distanced yourself so much from me, you're ignoring all my calls and texts! I haven't done anything to you. I have been nothing but supportive of you and your band! I did EVERYTHING for you! We used to be friends, remember?"

He just looked at you with this sad look in his eyes, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He hated how he treated you, but that's what was best. He couldn't give you what you need. You deserved better, or at least that's what he was thinking.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry.. But you don't understand.."

"What wouldn't I understand?! God Luke, I'm so in love with you! You went on so many dates with so many girls and you made me watch you fall for every single one of them! Do you even understand how fucked up this is?! Do you even care about how I feel?" you yelled out, and that was when you couldn't hold it in anymore. You just broke down and cried into your hands. You would have never thought that this is how things would turn out between the both of you and you didn't like what was happening. But some things just  aren't  meant to be.

Luke sat down next to you and pulled you into his arms. You tried to fight it but gave in pretty quickly. You missed this feeling. You missed having him around you.

"I never meant to hurt you.. I didn't know you liked me like that.. It's just.."

"I'm not good enough for you, I know", you said and pulled away from him. The brown haired boy just looked at you in disbelief and pulled you closer to him once again.

"What? Are you insane? God, you're perfect, Y/N! I'm the one who isn't good enough for you."

You just sat there and stared at each other. You wanted to kiss him so bad but you didn't want to ruin anything. You knew once you got out of the closet, things wouldn't go back to normal, you would probably still try to avoid each other as much as possible. The thought of that made you cry once again.

"Hey, please stop crying.. Trust me, all those dates meant nothing to me. I tried to get you out of my head but it didn't work. I couldn't stand seeing you everyday and having to hide my feelings. You are the only one I want. You're the only one I ever wanted. Please say something.."

You just starred into his eyes and realized what he just told you. All this time you were liking each other but thought the other one only saw you as a friend. Your heart stopped beating. You were so close to each other, you could even feel his breath on your skin.

"I love you, Luke. I always have" was all you could say before he smashed his lips onto yours. You needed a moment to process what was going on, but then you put your hands on his cheeks and pulled him even closer to you. After a few seconds, you slowly pulled away and rested your forehead against his.

"It's always been you, Y/N", was the last thing he said before the closet door pulled open and you were brought back to reality.

"It's always been you."