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isnotraven · 3 months ago

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Ts beautiful❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Crawling Back to You

Chapter eleven

Synopsis: You’re awake, Invincible is back from a two-month space excursion and tensions are high in the Guardian’s Headquarters.

Pairing: Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Chapter: 11/?

Masterlist of all Chapters

TW: PTSD-like Symptoms

Note: Here we are!!

You couldn’t hear the fluorescent lights this time, it was too busy around you. Your eyes felt heavy, and you were exhausted, more than usual. Multiple voices talked over each other from all around you, one you recognized instantly as Cecil’s. After a short struggle, you managed to open your eyes, there must have been over ten people crammed into that little room.

“She’s awake.” One of the people next to your bedside stated, they were wearing a mask, must have been a doctor or a nurse. You looked down at your arms to find several tubes trailing off from you, something you had not seen in a long time.

As if they were all working from the same neural connection every single one of the doctors and nurses exited the room almost in single file. Leaving only Cecil. If you were more awake it would have unnerved you.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something more important?” Your voice came out softer than you expected, crackly.

“You don’t think this is important kid?”

“I’m not sure what this is.” You admit, pushing your hands against the bed in an attempt to sit up. A sharp pain appeared in your side just to immediately disappear. A pain that did not immediately disappear came more strongly from your arms. Your body seemingly having realized the foreign objects was attempting to heal around them. “Shit.” You muttered, immediately going to pull the various tubes from your individual arms.

“Wait-!” It was too late, you had already grabbed them in a single handful, pulling them out. You rubbed your arms separately as your skin almost instantly mended the needle entry points.

“Sorry, that started to hurt like a bitch.” You croaked, and as if on cue your head started pounding. You held the heels of your palms against your forehead for a few seconds, fighting to stay quiet while the pain rippled through your body, and then: it stopped. Your head was still aching but there was nothing left to heal.

“Those were slowing down your healing process. Your body was overcompensating and keeping you in a state of limbo, we had to place those so it would stop trying so hard.” Cecil held to fingers to his temple, closing his eyes in frustration.

“Well, I’m awake now, so I must be fine.” You shrugged slowly dropping your hands from your head and giving him a guilty smile.

“This is the third time you’ve woken up.” Cecil muttered, exhaustion clear in his voice.

“Oh.” You looked down and rubbed your sore arm a little. It wasn’t a pretty picture, the idea of you having woken up just to convulse in a bloody mess not once but twice. You waited a few moments to see if your headache was about to progress further, but it continued to just ache timidly. “Guess I’m okay?”

Cecil sighed, taking a few steps away from your bedside.

“How long have I been out?” Usually, it was only a few hours you were out, and then you were back on your feet without any help at all. What was different this time?

“Three days.”

Three days? You jerked up into a completely upright position, panic immediately starting to rise in you, and not for the reason you expected. You were afraid yes, but not that you were losing control, you were afraid Cecil was going to let you go. That he was going to fire you.

“What kind of backlash are the Guardians giving you?” You asked cautiously, your fingertips gripping the course, thin hospital blanket.

“They haven’t said anything. I am sure there are tensions, but I honestly have had much more important matters to deal with.”

You were afraid to ask, was he talking about you? This problem? You squeezed the blanket tighter and considered just pushing through it, offering your resignation.

“Invincible is back.”

“He’s back?” You state dumbly, your mind immediately goes blank.

“Just arrived, has a kid with him, we believe it to be Omniman’s.”

“Omniman’s?”

“Appears so.”

“Appears so…” You echo. God stop repeating him. However, you didn’t have anything to say about this, it felt like too much information. Usually, Cecil was very guarded, you weren’t sure why he was being this open with you about this situation, something told you that you’d find out soon though.

“He’s going to check in with me sometime later today, I would like you to be there, see what you can feel, if anything.”

“Today?” STOP REPEATING-

“Do you not feel up to it?”

“No, I do- or I think I do-”

“Great. Then meet me in the training room once you are dressed. You have some clothes on the counter there.” You look over and sure enough, there is an outfit, it looks business profession rather than your supersuit.

“Did you know I was going to wake up today?” You quickly turned your head to look at him again, examining his expression.

“No, but I hoped.” He seemed genuine, sincere. He placed a pat on the guard rail of the hospital bed, probably the closest thing to physical reassurance you would ever get from him.

Your nails made a clicking noise as you tapped them on the metal gurney. You haven’t been in this room in at least a week now. In the field training was proving much more fruitful than working only with ReAnimen. The chill of the room you never seemed to get used to though, no matter how much time you had spent in there. You figured it was that way to keep the body fresher, sure they were usually drained of blood, but this one wasn’t. Specifically for your benefit.

For your benefit. You frowned down at it, the bright red eye dully looking back. Who was this person before they became this? Cecil had told you they were soldiers, “serving their country one last time”. Was the first time not enough?

Your fingers continued to tap on the cool steel, your gaze staring off past the corpse. Three days you were out, three whole days. And the whole time it felt like you were having that nightmare over and over again. You didn’t remember ever waking up, it was probably better that way. A defense mechanism, so you don’t remember the trauma of it. You could hardly remember going out the first time, it was still coming back in pieces, but mostly you remembered Rex’s voice. You weren’t sure why. He had sounded so panicked; an inflection you had never heard from him. He was cocky, arrogant, whiney even at times. But never panicked. Anyone would respond like that if they saw someone in front of them begin hemorrhaging to that degree. Did you really expect him to have no reaction?

Your gaze settled in the corner, and for a moment you could swear you saw someone, just in the corner of your eye. Out of reach, just in the distance. Wearing a dark uniform, a gun in his outstretched hands. You jerked your head to look and there was nothing.

You were starting to hate this room.

“Ready?” Cecil is standing near the door, you hadn’t heard him arrive, either by teleport or by walking in.

“As I’ll ever be.” You give him a nod, absentmindedly straightening out your dress shirt. “Why am I dressed like this by the way?”

“Where we’re going it would be better to be discrete.” Cecil walks towards you, he’s holding a wristband of some sort. He holds his hand out in a gesture for you to do the same and once you do, he clasps it around your wrist.

“You think it’s my color?” You turn your wrist over a few times before looking at him again.

He doesn’t respond, no scoff, no nothing. Tough crowd. “Try not to needlessly speak, I am not sure how this will go.”

You nod, opening your mouth to verbally affirm him and then in a blink your surroundings have completely changed. You had expected to feel sick or jarred, but it almost felt natural, it didn’t even feel like the terrain changed underneath the soles of your shoes.

You were in a building, you knew that much. Great deduction Sherlock. The walls were painted a tan color while the carpets were blue. The kind of carpet you see in office spaces, so any type of mess or spill isn’t as obvious. And- yeah no you had no clue where you were. There weren’t any windows around either, just rows of wooden doors. Maybe an apartment complex?

“All of them!” A voice sounded from around the corner seconds before the owner of the voice appeared too. A man with dark black hair nearly collided with Cecil before jumping back with a started noise.

“And when exactly were you planning to tell me you were back?” Cecil’s expression was surprisingly soft. You looked back and forth between the two of them trying to catch every micro expression, anxiety instantly rising in you. Why couldn’t Cecil ever seem to properly brief you? How hard would it be to say, ‘hey yeah were going to see Invincible immediately, no prep no nothing’, or ‘there is a security guard who HAS A GUN’? You were getting better at improv though, maybe a good back up if Cecil decided to fire you.

Mark’s gaze settled on you for a moment before jumping back to Cecil. “I mean, it’s not like you didn’t know.” This was going horribly already; you felt extremely out of place. Mark was practically bristling in the exceedingly short exchange the two were engaging in so far.

Cecil furrowed his brow before talking. “I ordered you not to go. You were gone two months. Now you don’t even check in?”

“I needed to see my mom and my girlfriend first.”

“We had a deal, Mark. You promised if I put you in the field, you’d follow orders. You don’t get to pick and choose when that applies.”

Mind you, less than a few hours ago you were peacefully knocked out in a hospital bed. Well, suffering a constant repetitive nightmare but still. If you were in control of the teleportation involved with your wristband you would be out of there. You weren’t sure why the high tensions were getting to you so much right now, but you really felt like you weren’t meant to be there. And it was only a matter of time until Mark actually took notice of you.

Maybe you were embarrassed. Invincible was one of your major inspirations. Reading his file had given you the confidence you had needed when you first started on with Cecil. And now that person was real to you. Standing a few feet away in a dark blue sweatshirt. Maybe you felt bad, felt like you were betraying this person you had never even met in person. You weren’t stupid, you had pieced together why it was so important to Cecil that you learn how to manipulate Viltrumite blood. And in theory, it made complete sense, Omniman turned bad, what is to stop that from happening with Mark?

But you also worried that in setting up these fail-safes Cecil might be pushing Mark towards it. In a way, it was a threat. If any of the Guardians knew what you could be capable of you were honestly nervous that they might try to kill you. Or at the very least never trust you again. Could you blame them?

“I saved millions of lives out there, Cecil. And it looks like everything here was just fine.” Mark responds defensively.

“Yeah. Things were just peachy.” Cecil turned his attention to you as if expecting you to step forward. Oh great.

You stepped forward trying not to immediately mess up whatever point he was trying to make. “There have been a few minor everyday issues, but just a few days ago an unidentified entity by the name of Omnipotus made an attempt at conquering the world. Several major injuries were sustained by different supers.” Professional, like an official report. Crap it might have been straight from the report you gave to Cecil on the ordeal now that you thought about it. Who cares, you weren’t making a fool of yourself yet. “You know… basic Tuesday stuff.” And there it is. Very nice. You wanted to blow your brains out.

“The Guardians almost died saving the planet while you were off gallivanting with space bugs.” Cecil turned his attention directly back to Grayson. If he was unhappy with your input, he in no way showed it in his demeanor.

“What I did out there, what I found was important.” There was a pause and Mark looked between the two of you. He blinked a few times before scowling slightly. “You already know, don’t you?”

There is another pause, and you are completely lost. Once again, your mind wanders to the fact you were completely unconscious not that long ago. And now you were standing here in a pantsuit that made you look much more mature than you felt.

Cecil sighed, drawing your attention back. “We keep an eye on Debbie for her protection. Passive monitoring, mostly. Certain keywords trigger a closer listen.”

“Unbelievable.” Mark scoffs before resting his hands on his hips. “You’re angry about me not reporting in? I don’t need to. You’ve got cameras in my mom’s house.”

“It’s not cameras. We would never do that.” This made you give Cecil a sideways glance. You were almost certain he had some way of monitoring your apartment with cameras. Or had it just been auditory devices? How else had he left that note on your nightstand that night all those weeks ago? Had he just heard you and known that you were going through something? He must have seen it. You were almost sure of it. Would he lie?

“All right, since you already know everything, I’ll go see my girlfriend like I planned.” Mark went to pass you both, brushing slightly past you. The side of your hand leading up to your pinkie finger made the briefest contact with his arm. And for a moment you could swear you felt it. The blood flowing through his veins. Your eyebrows raised slightly at the revelation, an expression that Cecil did not miss. He looked at you for a moment before looking up at Mark as he was walking away.

“Fine by me. I’ll send a team to pick up Nolan’s kid.”

You felt your expression change immediately as your eyebrows knitted together in a wince.

Mark immediately turned around with a soft gasp. “You can’t.” His voice was soft, disbelief clear in his tone.

“What are you gonna do? Leave him with your mom? He’s an alien. We’re more qualified to take care of him.”

“He’s my brother, not a science experiment.” Mark stepped towards Cecil again, moving forward in front of you.

Their arguing fades as you turn your mind towards the life source of the person standing in front of you. His shoulder is directed towards you, his entire attention on Cecil. Thrumming, like rain on a tin roof. Thrumming, thrumming. His heartbeat. It’s a promising sign; you didn’t even notice it anymore when you used your powers on normal humans. You didn’t have to use the same amount of concentration with them now that you were so experienced. Or more experienced at least.

You could almost feel it, just beyond your reach. Like trying to grip water in your hands, the droplets escaping over the sides and the cracks of your fingers. Grabbing at smoke.

“I’m sure your mom will love looking after her ex-husband’s new kid.” Your concentration returns to the conversation at this. Mark had a scowl on his face, and Cecil was not looking too happy either. Should you say something-?

And in an instant, you were standing back in that room. The cool of the area raised goosebumps on your skin.

“And?” Cecil was looking at you expectantly, his head tilted slightly.

“I felt something.” You admitted softly. “I think I can make the link.”

Cecil nodded and you could almost swear he could smile. If anything, he at least looked relieved. “Good, I’ll have someone bring the blood bag back in. I want you to give it a few tries again.”

“Should I be jumping right back into all of this after the last time putting me under for three days?” You ran a hand over your adjacent arm, trying to create a semblance of friction to chase away the chill. “Donald said my brain waves were becoming unpredictable. Last time there were almost no signs besides my headache. I almost feel like it’s becoming easier to enter an episode with each time.”

“How do you feel?” Cecil said simply, crossing his arms.

“What?”

“Do you have a headache right now?”

“Uh- no?”

“When was the last time you remember being completely without a headache?”

You thought for a moment, when was the last time? It must have been before the museum job. You had gotten so used to it over the past weeks that it almost felt like you had never been without one. “A while ago.” You admitted softly.

“I had your brainwaves monitored the entire time you were out. I believe that because we were able to artificially slow down the process, your body was able to properly heal. Everything that it has been doing a bang-up job over while you had your energies focused on other things should now be up to optimum capacities.”

You glanced at the gurney while he was talking, subconsciously nodding along. “What if you’re wrong?” One of the things you were most nervous to admit. Something you thought that voicing might get you let go. But you were scared. What if you never overcame this?

“Kid,” Cecil starts, “Killdeer.” He squints slightly as if carefully putting together what he is going to say. “I don’t have a doubt in my mind about your place here and at the Guardians. You are a valuable asset and a loyal member.” He crossed his arms while speaking. “I have placed a great deal of trust in you on sensitive matters. But I am also aware that with knowledge comes a lot of pressure. Keeping secrets isn’t fun, it’s not exciting. It is a duty, and one that I do not entrust to just anyone. And it is our duty-” He gestures between the two of you, “to do what must be done. To be the ones who ensure the world is safe. No matter what.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, still not completely sure. If you just worked in tandem with Cecil every day for the rest of your working life, you were sure you could manage. But the problem was you had to work with others. With Immortal, Kate, Shapesmith, Rex. You couldn’t stay at his right hand, feeling sure that you were making all the right moves and doing what was best. You had to be independent, and that was just not something you were sure you could do one hundred percent of the time. At least for now, you didn’t have to.

“You sent a team to pick up Mark’s brother?” Your eyebrows lifted in concern as you returned your eye contact back to Cecil.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Do you really think I was just oh so ready to have a pissing contest with a Viltrumite?” Cecil scrunched his face at you. “I wanted to give you more time to assess him.”

“Oh.” You felt a little silly at this. “A little high risk don’t you think?”

“Why don’t you leave it to me to calculate the risks.”

A ripple, you had been able to cause a single ripple before you decided to give it a rest. It felt insignificant at first since you were so far past the ripple stage with human blood. But as you were cleaning up to leave it dawned on you how much this meant. You were truly improving. You were going on missions and holding your ground, you were making progress with your relationships on the team.

Well, some of them.

Well…maybe two of them.

Maybe.

Crap, Rae. You just remembered the concussion she had received during the last fight and how you told her you were going to check on her the next day. You should probably stop by the R&D floor inside the Guardians too, as they most likely have your suit.

The sound of a single click reverberated off the walls behind you, small, almost unnoticeable. You practically snapped your neck to look back, but there was nothing there. Just the same blank walls, and steel gurney. You could feel your breathing pick up; did Cecil have invisible agents stationed here with you? No, you couldn’t feel anything living within the area of the room. You would know.

You would know, you would know- You took a few deep breaths trying to calm down. You knew it wasn’t real. You knew exactly what the clicking sound was. The sound of a bullet entering the chamber of a gun. The sound you had barely registered before the sharp crack of it being fired assaulted your eardrums.

Maybe you should talk to Cecil about having a few days off.

Almost instantaneously as the elevator doors slid open you could feel the atmosphere shift. Most of the members of the Guardians are standing in the common area. The wall display has video playing as well as several diagrams loaded up to the side. As you take a few steps out of the elevator you realize each of them are of you. The video is security cam footage from your training room. How did they even get that? There was no way it would slip through that easily with how guarded Cecil was. And the secrecy that revolved around her private training sessions.

The others were diagrams of your face, different muscles outlined, with individual pointers leading away from them.

Another part of the screen is playing footage of your episode from the other day. Your body is limp in a pool of your own blood, and Rex is still holding your hair, his other hand trying to hold your head up out of the growing overspill. Maybe he had been nervous that you would drown in your own blood. What a way to go.

Another step closer seemed to alert them all to your presence, Rudy’s voice stopping as several of them looked over at you. You have got to be kidding me. What are the chances you decide to go in while this is all happening. It had to of been low, you were out for three whole days and now is when they decide to discuss…whatever this is. “They haven’t said anything” Thank you Cecil. Constantly monitoring every little thing until it comes to this somehow.

“Ah, Killdeer.” Rudy said with an unreadable tone, and his expression didn’t give away much else either.

“What’s going on?” You tried to give them a confused smile, anything, but your tone came out sour. You were too tired for whatever this was.

“Why didn’t you feel it was necessary to make known that you are prone to- whatever this is?” It was Immortal who spoke, his hand gesturing to the screen displaying you completely passed out.

Your eyes rested on it for a moment, the display was on loop, portraying a constant purgatory of Rex frantically yelling something while you lay motionless. “It doesn’t concern the team.”

“Something that doesn’t concern the team would be what you had for breakfast this morning, not this.” Black Samson interjected; his voice didn’t seem near as accusatory as Immortal’s, but you still could feel your defenses rising.

“I’m getting it under control, it doesn’t affect my work.” You state shortly. Not necessarily the truth, but you had no intention of explaining it much further. But maybe you should. You could tell them the limitations of your abilities and the side effects. You don’t have to mention anything besides healing. It would be the truth.

A glance over the group of them reveals something that stops you though. You’re met with furrowed brows and concerned glances. You stand alone in front of a mass of people. And none of these individuals have any intentions of listening, they are already forming opinions about your competency before you can explain anything. Your eyes land on Rex for a moment, who is standing near the front, his arms crossed in his usual judgmental stance. But his face does not reflect this same sentiment, he looks almost shocked to see you. His eyes run over you time and time again as if seeing a ghost. As soon as he meets your gaze though his expression hardens. Typical.

“You don’t get to decide if it affects your work or not.” Immortal declares, his lip twinging slightly upwards in a grimace.

“You all have seen me in the field, I have been nothing but competent and I have even saved a few of you.” Your eyes land on Bulletproof, the edges of his mouth are down turned, but he runs a hand over his arm as if checking to make sure it is still healed.

“Competency is not the only thing in question. There has also been a lack of honesty.” Rudy doesn’t say this to you but to the rest of the team. It’s starting to feel like you are in court, with no lawyer to work on your behalf. “We cannot work cohesively as a team if we are not able to trust each other. You for some reason have read our files, which means you know a lot about us.” He’s holding his hands together with the tips of his fingers. “Why did you purposely hide this?”

You grit your teeth, trying to not let your tone reflect your growing unease. “I did not purposely hide it; I did not think that it was something I needed to make fully known. I can usually monitor when an episode is coming. This one…snuck up on me.”

“How often does this happen?” Rae was asking this time, genuine concern on her face as she stepped forward.

“Not often.” You felt bad not being able to be completely honest with her, out of all of them you wanted to tell her the truth the most. “It’s really not a huge deal-”

“I watched your fucking head explode asshole!” Your gaze snapped to Rex, he had let his arms fall, his fists clenched at his sides. “What about that isn’t a huge deal?”

You opened your mouth to try shooting back a response, say something snarky about him finally learning to care about someone other than himself for five seconds. But the argument died at your tongue, he looked upset. Not just angry but upset. You hadn’t considered how it might affect someone to witness what to you had become a common occurrence.

“I motion that Killdeer should be put on suspension for the time being. All current headquarters’ access revoked until we have the time to consider all the information and consult with Cecil.” Rudy proposed this to the group in front of you, but his focus was on Immortal.

“Wait, what?” Your expression softened in surprise. There are some murmurs from the small gathering and a few people look unhappy with this. Rae and you exchange glances, she does not seem at all enthused with the prospect of your absence even if she was caught off guard by this whole situation.

“I mean, shouldn’t we put it to a vote or something? Is it really the best choice to just toss her out?” Amanda spoke up, with her eyes on Rudy.

“This is not a democracy.” Immortal responded concisely.

“It is too much of a risk to have her in the base, we don’t know enough.” Duplikate cut in.

“We’re meant to be a team, what happened to loyalty to our teammates?” Bulletproof finally spoke up.

“Loyalty implies trust. I haven’t seen her doing a whole lot of that.” Duplikate’s stare bore into you at this. At least now you knew she didn’t like you rather than having to wonder.

“What do you have to say, Rex?” Rudy asked, his monotonous voice was beginning to get to you. He could at least sound angry while screwing you over. “You had the most invested interest in this. Without you, I might not have looked into it further.”

“What?” Your gaze lands on Rex, he almost looks guilty, his left hand reaching over his torso and clasping his other arm. You weren’t sure why you were surprised. He had been consistently the most vocal about wanting you gone. But for some reason it still felt like you were being punched in the gut, the air forced out of your lungs.

“I don’t…” Rex didn’t finish, his jaw was set tightly, and his creased brow was directed back at Rudy.

“Killdeer should be required to fully explain herself. Tell us why she thinks she should stay.”

You finally ripped your eyes from Rex to return them to Immortal after his statement. Looking at them all was beginning to put a bitter taste in your mouth. “You want me to beg.” You scowled at Immortal, only further annoyed by the righteous look he was giving you.

“If you wish to remain as apart of this team then you might want to lose the indignant attitude.”

“You know what, I am not even technically under you Immortal. No more than Invincible is.” You clenched your fists tightly at your sides. “And it doesn’t matter anyways. Because I quit. You are all incompetent, sorry, jerks-” Oh wow you really got them there. “And I couldn’t imagine hating myself enough to continue working with any of you.” You throw your hands up and turn to storm straight for the elevator.

“If you leave now, you are never entering this building ever again.” Another power trip from Immortal. You knew he did not actually have the power to say that. If Cecil made you come back then you would be back, regardless of what he wants. You weren’t about to stand here as if you were on trial to these people, and definitely not to The Immortal.

“If I never came back, it would be too soon!” You retort, pushing the button for the elevator. Taking in the looks on their faces for, what at the time, you hoped would be the last time. As the elevator closed multiple people started talking at the same time, directed at Rudy and Immortal, loud and disorganized. The only person not immediately turning their attention to the dispute was Rex, the one who started all of this months ago without you knowing. His expression was unreadable, but you knew yours wasn’t. You had spent months trying to mostly play nice, but now you were giving him the most resentful glare you could muster. As the elevator doors closed there was a sudden silence, it immediately blocked out the commotion. Just the soft mechanical whirring of the elevator traveling down.

Quiet. Actual quiet. You couldn’t even conjure a thought. This was the first time you had real silence in a long time. No anxious ramblings, no fear that your head was about to explode, no Rex. Just quiet.

Once you were in your car you just sat for a bit. It had been so long since you just took in the moment. There were some new indents in your steering wheel. Or if they weren’t new, you had never noticed them before. Pulling out onto the road you opened the windows. The wind was cool against your skin, welcoming. Not like the cool of the training room. You looked in the rearview mirror and watched Headquarters grow smaller behind you. The air smelt damp but fresh. Like the morning dew on fresh green grass.

It looks like it’s going to rain later.

Author's Note: You might want to refresh on chapter one if you want, but next chapter will be a Rex POV, so there will be a bit of recap there as well :) Thank you all for reading this far! I have a lot more I want to do with this.

divider credit: @/ saradika

taglist: @kittymeowmrow @sketchlove @jewelwayne101

#crash out queen

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