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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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omfg i think i omitted a bunch of stuff in my ask my bad gang 😭💔💔💔 i meant to write:

what are batfams reaction to readers attempt or hypthetical successful attempt?

is the reader supposed to be female? i’ve been reading them as gn so just wanted some clarification lol

-🌝 anon

HELLO 🌝 ANON I MISSED YOU‼️‼️💕

gosh this is gonna be a word vommit, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING 😋 come back to me pookie

for the clarification!!! i did tag it as batsis since i fear i might not able to write a gn!reader as well as batsis!reader, so it's a precaution! buttt everyone is free to interpret reader as they like! reader is bruce's biological daughter, but i do try to avoid using terms as such to be less restricting question mark? so i hope that clears some of that up hehe.

spoilerish below + talks about suicide

for the successful attempt w the current setting of the story, i think it'll take maybe a couple of days for the batfam to slowly realize that reader is missing. reader is self-sufficient and seldom asks for things or wander in the manor unless they're required to, they only do what's necessary so no one actually notices their absence. it would be either alfred, cass or damien that finds out (likelihood decreasing in that respective order). i think alfred and cass would feel guilty: alfred's last interactions with reader hadn't been the best, first he slapped them and then was the person that made reader realize that their friends don't exist, he basically speedran that process so he'd definitely drown in guilt; for cass, she'd probably feel like she failed reader, she saw the state of them but never knew why, only that there were signs that can reach this outcome but ig never actually made the effort to pay attention.

w damien, i think he'll be in denial, yes reader reinforced that idea that reader is weak, unstable, unbefitting to the last name you never deserved; but in the back of his mind, he knows that he pushed you there, though that's something he would never admit to anyone but himself.

i imagine dick would accompany alfred in sorting out reader's things and find the hoodie that reader wore at the abandoned building, suddenly everything dawns on him and he lives in regret, regretting that whatever he had asked of you to do (reaching out for help), you actually did, but you were right, you were alone, no one actually knows you and you were indeed left to fend for yourself - he could not follow through what he himself preached, and i think he'd always bring that hoodie with him whenever he can, so that he can live in the delusion that reader is still with him.

the news comes as a shock to bruce, he doesn't know why because it makes sense w all the events leading up to this. but he failed as a father, a guardian, a human. he doesn't even know much about you, you were excellent in studies, but that's almost expected as a wayne, and then, he realizes, your last name was never changed - his biological child was never granted his last name. he failed you, it was all his fault.

i think for jason and tim, they'd be sad, but in the way that's only a bit more intense if they were to hear about a casualty, because reader is no different than a stranger to them, they never knew you - and i think that's what haunts them. you can't imagine what could be different, what could change if you never knew.

i haven't really introduced stephanie, barbara and duke up until this point yet, so ill omit them from this. just to be clear that these reactions are based on the hypothetical that reader has a successful attempt after ch4!

as for just the attempt, im #projecting on reader but they'll definitely be a silent one. the ones in which reader wakes up alone, maybe not in critical condition (i think if they were critical it would lead to success based on how little anyone actually checks up on them, even alfred), disappointed that it failed. they'd probably stop actively trying to commit, but passively they'll wait for an opportunity for death to claim them without having to put in the effort. in short, no one would know but reader, and it'll just spiral into other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

also im sorry for going mia, i do not mean to leave you w crumbs 😭 ive been feeling burnt out and not to sound ungrateful, but the amount of people that interacted from ch2 to ch4 has decreased significantly and my overthinking ass is worried i did something wrong. but i am stubborn as well, so i shall continue steering the plot towards the direction i want. just trying to will myself through these conflicting feelings ✊😔 trust

#srs: odi et amo

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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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flop era

odi et amo - (04) nobody there

negelected! meta! reader x platonic! batfam

masterlist / prev / next

(TW) : emotional neglect, self-destructive behaviour, self-harm, suicide, depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms, underage smoking, underage drinking, alcohol abuse, depression, bpd, depictions of mental illness, violence, trauma, ...

the grip on your shoulders feel like shackles.

your mother had been requested, which meant you, as the replacement, had been dragged out by your aunt to fulfill it.

her grip tightens.

"oh dear child, my protégé, tell me, what does he say."

a ghastly being stares back at you. large, terrifying, unsightly, not bearing a single resemblance to the man in the picture placed on the table in the middle of a drawn out ritual circle, lighted candles flickering in front of you.

your voice is stuck in your throat, your breath hitches everytime you try to speak.

"come on child, tell the client what his soul says!"

a tear rolls down your face as you blink hard, hoping for the entity to disappear when your eyes open like it was merely a bad dream.

it doesn't.

nails digging into your shoulders, your aunt grows impatient.

" there's-", you trip over your words, your throat feels like sandpaper, "there's no one there."

sharp rows of teeth shine.

you close your eyes harshly and whisper, defeated.

"there's no one there."

"but there was no one there, bruce!"

very rarely had pennyworth ever only referred to his father by his first name, damian notes, and it's usually when he cannot keep his cool, which is also rare.

damian had been sitting in bruce's office discussing a variety of things and everything was going accordingly. that was, until alfred had bursted through the doors after knocking rapidly, not even waiting for a reply, stating that he had something important to discuss with bruce.

damian almost told him off had it not been for the panicked look in alfred's eyes, the sheen of cold sweat on his forehead and his disheveled clothes - contrasting his usual professionalism. bruce, too, grew slightly weary of alfred's state before sending damian out with an apology and a promise to make it up to him some time after so he and pennyworth could discuss in private.

of course, he does not leave immediately, lingering outside the closed door to listen in on what was so important for his time to be interrupted.

and then, he saw you, standing to the side, with your head lowered leaning against the wall.

he scoffs, "aren't you a little old for imaginary friends?"

you stood there motionless, the shadow casted on your face does not betray the twitch of your frown.

"i knew you were pathetic but what are you, 5? are you so unbearable that nobody real can tolerate you?"

he crosses his arm and scowls at you, further irritated by the lack of your reaction.

you wordlessly pushed yourself off the walls. whatever else he wanted to voice died in his throat when you had casted him a look, before making your way back to your room.

damian only stares at your retreating back, the emptiness in your eyes haunts him.

you loved your friends, they meant everything to you. they were the light of your life

you can't wrap your head around this.

your friends were real! they had been there for you when nobody else had, listened to you when nobody else did. they were your everything.

your friends, your dear friends.

but then, what were their names?

no no no no they were real!

how could this happen?

how could you let this happen?

you scream, your hands pull on your hair, you can't believe this. they were real, they made you feel real, their existence meant that you were worthy of being known, of being loved.

this can't be happening, you don't even remember their names?

all the memories you’ve shared, you try to recall what they look like - anything at all, yet your brain comes up with a blurred mess of imagery. how could you mourn them if you don’t remember anything significant? how could you mourn something that never existed?

your brain hammers in your head, your eyes burn from how much you've cried, your voice is hoarse, your hair a tangled mess, is this what madness feels like?

you're alone, you have always been alone.

alone, unworthy of love.

you turn to look in the mirror.

and the silhouettes of your friends standing beside your reflection stares back.

cassandra makes her way down the hall, the sunlight spilling through the window basking everything in its warmth. it's the one of those rare weekends in which she was unoccupied, and so she decided to take a little walk around the manor while a soft ballad plays through the wired earphones. this time, she decided to walk through the more secluded part of the mansion, not having explored this area in some time; it looked quite barren, barely any decorations and the slight clouds of dust that could only be seen under the light floats in the air.

she walks leisurely, sometimes stopping to gaze at the rare occurrence of a piece of interior set in the long stretch of emptiness. the stroll continued this way until her eyes landed on a door that was not locked from the outside like the others. curious, she knocked on the door lightly, waiting for any indication that someone was inside. when she hears nothing, cass turns the knob and opens the door cautiously.

in the dark of your room, things strewn across the floor, only illuminated by the warm light from the doorway, heavily contrasting the cold, blue hue. in the center of the untidy, you laid curled up. your blanket pulled halfway off the bed to cover your form.

your eyes were wide open, all red rimmed and heavy with burden. cassandra turns to the direction where your eyes are trained on, only to find what she could presume was a mirror draped in one of alfred’s old tablecloths.

you had not made a peep, your eyes never leaving the covered mirror to acknowledge her. she takes a hesitant step inside, an involuntary shiver runs down her spine due to the significant drop in temperature with careful and slow steps, not wanting to startle you and avoid stepping on any objects.

still, with her standing in between you and the object, your eyes remained trained on it through the gaps of her legs. cassandra can feel the paranoia radiating off of you, she's never seen it this intense on anyone before.

cass crouched down before you, she reaches out slowly as if you're a frightened animal, carefully pulling the strands of hair clinging to your forehead behind your ears gently.

you still don't react.

your eyes locked forward, as if you feared something might happen if you were to look away for a single moment.

she lightly huffs and turns around, pulling the cloth to the side to investigate. only then did you stir out of your trance.

“don’t”, you croak out, exhausted, “don’t let them see me.”

your voice dips into a whisper that she nearly missed.

“they can’t see me fail them like this.”

you had been avoiding all surfaces that could reflect, always seeing your friends distorted presence on them. from covering the mirror in the bathroom to swapping to plastic utensils and paper plates for the metal and ceramics would concur their image whenever you look at them.

all you could do was run away from this reality, try to steer clear from facing whatever unfortunate nightmare your brain conjures up to fill in the gaps.

it’s especially hard on rainy days like these, when bodies of water would collect beneath your feet and you’d see them stare straight up at you, as if their claws would reach out to drag you down beneath the surface to join them.

time and time again, you’d linger behind the very same secluded area of school as before, yet no longer do your friends come find you as you smoked away, but the echo of their memories still flashes at the back of your mind, like a faulty roll of film.

you wish they came back as a dream, not this shadow warped beyond recognition.

this memory feels like punishment.

you take a drag, you exhale.

teeth stained with smoke.

it’s routine, though you don’t feel the same.

everything had changed.

and you don’t know what to do.

it’s been a week since then. you’re no longer going out of your way to avoid reflections like the plague, but your gaze always remains downcast at the tiles when using the school bathrooms to avoid an accidental glance at the mirror.

you can’t avoid them forever, you see them on the shiny door knobs, the gloss of the marble, the shine of porcelain, you even see them when you close your eyes - their faces unrecognizable, different every time, turning inhuman and haunting.

it’s better this way, it’s better to accept it. you deserve this.

especially since they start to creep at you from the corner of your eyes, demanding your attention.

you’re sure your grades had slipped, unable to focus on anything from the lack of rest. your mind always alert, your body constantly in flight or fight, you’d jolt awake immediately after dozing off and seeing flashes of their eyes. the worst part is that you feel guilty: guilty for not remembering anything about them. the rational side of you had come to terms with the fact that your mind had made them up, but despite this you've been unable to let them go. you’ve always prided yourself for being logical and level-headed.

it’s just a way you had coped, you made these people up because you were so alone. they're not real. even if they made you feel real.

it was such a simple explanation, yet the nagging feeling born from the irrational side of your brain suggests otherwise; the guilt gnaws at you like a chew toy.

the silence in the manor now feels so loud. you never knew if there were any further discussions between bruce and alfred, or if damian or cassandra had told anyone else in the family. life had just seemed to move on, as if it was just some insignificant issue that no one could be bothered to pick up and enquire any further. you had forced yourself to move on too, set back into pace and complete your goals. you were truly alone.

or were you, even as they start beckoning your name?

a bottle smashes near your feet while you wipe the table, trying to scrub out the melted wax left from another failed session.

“your mother would never disappoint me like this!”

you flinched in the slightest, but continued your cleaning.

she pulls her hair in frustration, sitting down on the worn down couch the client previously occupied. your mother’s name rolls off her tongue with twisted affection, a longing and loving tone that was never addressed at you.

“what am i supposed to do with your child? a useless little thing…”

you swallow a whimper, you’d long abandoned that wishful thinking that your aunt would ever see you more than a tool for her rituals, more than just a standin for someone who’s never coming back.

her hands clutches the crystal ball, holding it in an embrace as if it was the most delicate and precious thing in the world. she bends down, cheek pressed onto the crystal and strokes it lovingly, humming an unfamiliar tune in a drunken haze.

your hands slow, as you turn to stare at her. a peaceful expression on her face in the midst of all the empty bottles of liquor surrounding her. the space smelled suffocating from all the burnt incense and sage while the tarot card spread still lay on the table.

the hurl of insults and self-pity finally slows to a stop, and you finally feel the tension lift from your shoulder. you nearly stumble through the obstacle of empty bottles and fancy lowball and rocks glasses, reaching the couch where your aunt had dozed off into slumber.

then, your eyes land on the picture on the table, the only image of your mother you had been allowed to look at. a stranger is all she is to you, realistically. someone that had never even held you once.

she looked kind, a sort of welcoming yet mysterious aura surrounding her. you often times wondered what it would have been like if she never passed, what could have been if you were never forced to substitute her value.

unable to let go of the illusion that it could be any different, you don’t see the shadowed claws reaching from behind.

you awake with a jolt, exhaustion riddled your form. the clock reads the earlier hours of the day, drawn curtains still showing the dark sky above. struggling to sit up from the carpeted floor of your room, you finally got more than just an hour of sleep, the lumination of the desklamp bounces off paper cups of what used to hold coffee sitting on your desk.

everything feels like a blur.

you no longer had control over your life, you’re gone.

the urge to give into the destruction, to destroy yourself physically as if it would balance out the mangled cries and deep hurt you’ve buried deep within your soul.

you felt betrayed. lord, you’ve tried, you’ve tried and tried and nothing was enough.

you’re so tired of trying only for nothing to change.

a bad child does not deserve good things.

your past was but a distant memory, so long ago. it doesn’t matter anymore, it shouldn’t.

and yet you were unable to let go.

you vowed to never be like her, you were a logical, capable person that only cared about facts and truth, only cared about reality.

there’s no such thing as ghosts, as ghouls, as demons, as gods. even if they were, they’d never heard your cries, the desperation in wanting to take the pain away.

to take you away.

you only had yourself, you were alone.

so why do the voices never quell?

the distortion of their screams, it echoes in your skull even as you press both your hands against your ears.

they won’t go away.

they won’t leave you alone.

you begged into your empty room, begging them to leave you be, to stop, to shut up.

it was enough that they started to manifest as shadows lingering in the corners of your room, following you through the shadows of your steps. they hover above you, when you’re waiting to refill your coffee, when you get your bicycle out for school, when you’re washing your hands in the bathroom.

they’re everywhere.

you cannot escape.

you vowed to never be like her, and yet here you are swinging the first bottle of alcohol you managed to snag from the cellar in the manor, hoping to silence all the noise.

i think the song rlly encapsulates this episode so perchance you should play it hehe. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE 🙏🙏 you sigmas 🤫🧏

(TAGLIST) closed due to limit :sadge:

@confused-they @hoeinthehouse @strwberryglass @heartjwonie @glitchmshade @bat1212 @buddee @eyeless-kun @thereeallink @icantcryicantstopcrying @bunbunboysworld @gh0str00m @wizzerreblogs @lazy-kari202 @dotomuses @gwyneveire @gh6st24 @roseapov @kore-of-the-underworld @kingshitonly @plsfckmedxddy @unknownloner1345 @lilithquillete @v3vina @froggy-voidd @angrybuttooshorttofightyou @sami0169 @m3vlOvesu @pix-stuff @bunbunbread @agent-nobody-knows @cxcilla @horror-lover-69 @redkarmakai @mariadvorak @shirp-collector-of-fixations @batboygirlie @diejager @noclue-0 @sick2mystmch @novs9011 @kitkatkitmeow @crazycaoticsimp @majonla @hebaoffside @randomlyappearingartist @blueiones @shycreatorreview @simpingpandas @splaterparty0-0 @bk-4-trash-fire

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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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It's 🌞 here

I love your writing style so much I really want to give you some ideas for any further stories you may make (I hope I'm not bothering you). I recommend you to read this stories because they are so good and have so much potential for inspection. (And I'm sorry if I wrote something wrong, English is not my first language.)

1. Hand Jumper: (I'll keep it short as much as I can but this may be long.) in a world where supernatural beings with or a hybrid between humans and Supernatural Eldritch beings called Godlings, and being minority. These people who are called Abrahants are gifted with superpowers, different from one to another depending on their DNA. However this gift is actually a curse, how do I see them too much as a danger. So the government's lanched a program. As an Abrant, you only have two choices. Different parts of a governmental organization tasked with killing Criminal Abrahants when you reach 18 or don't which makes you a criminal who needs to be annihilated or simply existing. The protagonist Sayon (i hope I wrote the name right) is the idealistic high schooler who sees the world in black and white found that she is an Abrahant with the ability to jump back in time by a snap of her hand at age 18, meaning she has no time to even learn about it.

I found a lot of interesting things and characters in this story and I'm also interested in the idea of a reader who has the same power or personaltis similar to Sayon or as one of the other characters.

2. Woven: I'm very interested in the magic system of that one because it's one of the best things I found in this comic. (Also the art and comic style is si Majestic and thought of) . It's a magic you waive, you see strings contacted to everything in these beautiful patterns. Blue for the physical matter, a rock, a liquid. Red for energy, (or what move by energy? Because fire also have red strings). White is a mystery, and believe to be connected to the soul. It's so delicate and if they snap you get hurt or die. They also snap if you get hurt, get everything if you're sick. If you're low on energy your red strings also get relaxed in that way that ruins the patterns.

It's hard to explain it without showing.

3. 21st century knights: this one is gold. I can't say how much I love it and how much, it's an underrated masterpiece.

I don't know exactly where to start explaining because I'll probably make this one long as well so I'll make it a mystery unfold if you will.

Thank you for reading if you did and I hope you enjoy my recommendations. Please take care of your health and safety. Have a good Day/Night 👋

haiiii 🌞 omg you could never bother me!! i look forward to y'all talking to me a lot <3 (your english is perf dont worryy)

i have searched em up and gonna binge them hehe the webtoons sounds rlly interesting (i quite like the art style of hand jumper so far :3), thank you for the recommendations!! i used to also be a webtoon fanatic and quite liked DICE and unOrdinary but it sort of fell off and i stopped reading webtoons altogether as well due to school QAQ, so this would be a good place for me to start again hehe.

i'm sorry it took so long to replyy i get so anxious after every chapter update so i go mia as well. you take care too 🌞 hope to see you soon (,,> ᴗ <,,)

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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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ORV MENTION!!🔥🔥👅👅 odi et amo orv au perchance…💭

-🌝 anon

omg wait.... maybe i shall....

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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣⁉️⁉️

THERE'S 500 OF YOU THAT FOLLOW LIL OL ME?? I LOVE YALL SO MUCH

here's readerr from odi et amo:

#srs: odi et amo

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itheunknown · 2 months ago

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just wondering but will other characters other than the ones in the batfam be mentioned?

i keep binge reading all the chapters again like it’ll hurt less 🚬🚬 unfortunately i keep projecting so im just scrubbing salt into the wound 💔💔

also may i be 🌝 anon? i’m definitely gonna come back for giggles and shits 💗💗

helllooo i do plan on including commissioner gordon and perhaps the superfam, but otherwise i havent planned it yet!

also me we twinning

welcome welcome 🌝 anon, i hope you enjoy your stay (,,> ᴗ <,,)

omg will i have a solar system of anons? #kimdokjamoment ✊🤑

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itheunknown · 3 months ago

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This time you didn't just pull at my brain but my heart as well

No seriously I was close to crying.

I'm thinking of what the fam may be thinking. Looking at how they don't care about the reader I feel like they may throw them in an Asylum or something like that? Or maybe that's what me and the reader will think. And it's a scary thing to think about because of how asylums are.

I feel that the fam are keeping an eye on reader because of what they saw. They don't care but they are paranoid.

Thank you for feeding us.

Also can I be 🌞anon? I'll probably keep coming over to drop my thoughts

if reader wasn't trying to fight their demons i 100% think they'll be losing their mind over whether or not the fam would ship them off to the asylum.

i hope you enjoyed 🫶 i feared of dragging on how the events would play out but i also didn't want it to be rushed so i hope im doing well ( 〃．．)

and omg my first frequent 🌞anon i welcome you into the crusty depths of my blog ✨ i look forward to you picking my brain as i will yours (lovingly)!!

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itheunknown · 3 months ago

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CHAPTER 4 IS LITERALLY SOUL CRUSHING IN THE BEST WAY AUHFHFHFHDJ💔💔🥀🥀🥀 (also another song that i think fits this chapter is laputa by panchiko!!)

omfg i love panchiko!! agreed 100%. also thank youu hehe i sort of didn't know how to convey how i wanted the story to navigate so i was on and off writing and rewriting a lot but im so glad i could deliver 🤌🤌

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itheunknown · 3 months ago

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Day 4 without update... Ouuu it got a little kick ouuuu

4 days..... chapter 4....... oh no... stand back!! i'm transforming-

i hope i didnt disappoint w ch4 😭

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itheunknown · 3 months ago

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i just finished binge reading odi et amo and it’s literally so peak omfg 😭 i love ur writing style and the way you portray depression is immaculate! I can’t wait to read chapter 4 :3

Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠ Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠Å̵͕͊̈͛͆̏̈́̈́À̴͈͉͉͍̻̬͚͙͎̲͖̦̎͘Ä̸̛̩̙̱̍͊͐̽͗̈́͒̉̋̿̈͘͠Ȃ̸̢̡̡̫̳̰̭͔̠̩̳̠̭͒̆̂̍̓̔͂͜A̶̝̖̹̻͈͓͚̻͙̟͚̙̫̪͐́̔̓̇̋͗̓͘͝͠ͅȦ̴̰̙̱̲̫̗̲͉̲̦̮̎͋̂̈́͛̚͝A̴̡͚̟͔͙̭̼̖̬͚̝͓̒͐̾̄̌͋̇͑̀̕̚̚͜͝͝͠

thank you very much your kind words mean everything to me (,,> ᴗ <,,) i hope you like chapter 4 💫

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itheunknown · 3 months ago

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odi et amo - (04) nobody there

negelected! meta! reader x platonic! batfam

masterlist / prev / next

the grip on your shoulders feel like shackles.

your mother had been requested, which meant you, as the replacement, had been dragged out by your aunt to fulfill it.

her grip tightens.

"oh dear child, my protégé, tell me, what does he say."

your voice is stuck in your throat, your breath hitches everytime you try to speak.

"come on child, tell the client what his soul says!"

a tear rolls down your face as you blink hard, hoping for the entity to disappear when your eyes open like it was merely a bad dream.

it doesn't.

nails digging into your shoulders, your aunt grows impatient.

" there's-", you trip over your words, your throat feels like sandpaper, "there's no one there."

sharp rows of teeth shine.

you close your eyes harshly and whisper, defeated.

"there's no one there."

"but there was no one there, bruce!"

very rarely had pennyworth ever only referred to his father by his first name, damian notes, and it's usually when he cannot keep his cool, which is also rare.

of course, he does not leave immediately, lingering outside the closed door to listen in on what was so important for his time to be interrupted.

and then, he saw you, standing to the side, with your head lowered leaning against the wall.

he scoffs, "aren't you a little old for imaginary friends?"

you stood there motionless, the shadow casted on your face does not betray the twitch of your frown.

"i knew you were pathetic but what are you, 5? are you so unbearable that nobody real can tolerate you?"

he crosses his arm and scowls at you, further irritated by the lack of your reaction.

you wordlessly pushed yourself off the walls. whatever else he wanted to voice died in his throat when you had casted him a look, before making your way back to your room.

damian only stares at your retreating back, the emptiness in your eyes haunts him.

you loved your friends, they meant everything to you. they were the light of your life

you can't wrap your head around this.

your friends were real! they had been there for you when nobody else had, listened to you when nobody else did. they were your everything.

your friends, your dear friends.

but then, what were their names?

no no no no they were real!

how could this happen?

how could you let this happen?

you scream, your hands pull on your hair, you can't believe this. they were real, they made you feel real, their existence meant that you were worthy of being known, of being loved.

this can't be happening, you don't even remember their names?

your brain hammers in your head, your eyes burn from how much you've cried, your voice is hoarse, your hair a tangled mess, is this what madness feels like?

you're alone, you have always been alone.

alone, unworthy of love.

you turn to look in the mirror.

and the silhouettes of your friends standing beside your reflection stares back.

cass crouched down before you, she reaches out slowly as if you're a frightened animal, carefully pulling the strands of hair clinging to your forehead behind your ears gently.

you still don't react.

your eyes locked forward, as if you feared something might happen if you were to look away for a single moment.

she lightly huffs and turns around, pulling the cloth to the side to investigate. only then did you stir out of your trance.

“don’t”, you croak out, exhausted, “don’t let them see me.”

your voice dips into a whisper that she nearly missed.

“they can’t see me fail them like this.”

all you could do was run away from this reality, try to steer clear from facing whatever unfortunate nightmare your brain conjures up to fill in the gaps.

you wish they came back as a dream, not this shadow warped beyond recognition.

this memory feels like punishment.

you take a drag, you exhale.

teeth stained with smoke.

it’s routine, though you don’t feel the same.

everything had changed.

and you don’t know what to do.

it’s better this way, it’s better to accept it. you deserve this.

especially since they start to creep at you from the corner of your eyes, demanding your attention.

it’s just a way you had coped, you made these people up because you were so alone. they're not real. even if they made you feel real.

it was such a simple explanation, yet the nagging feeling born from the irrational side of your brain suggests otherwise; the guilt gnaws at you like a chew toy.

or were you, even as they start beckoning your name?

a bottle smashes near your feet while you wipe the table, trying to scrub out the melted wax left from another failed session.

“your mother would never disappoint me like this!”

you flinched in the slightest, but continued your cleaning.

“what am i supposed to do with your child? a useless little thing…”

you swallow a whimper, you’d long abandoned that wishful thinking that your aunt would ever see you more than a tool for her rituals, more than just a standin for someone who’s never coming back.

unable to let go of the illusion that it could be any different, you don’t see the shadowed claws reaching from behind.

everything feels like a blur.

you no longer had control over your life, you’re gone.

the urge to give into the destruction, to destroy yourself physically as if it would balance out the mangled cries and deep hurt you’ve buried deep within your soul.

you felt betrayed. lord, you’ve tried, you’ve tried and tried and nothing was enough.

you’re so tired of trying only for nothing to change.

a bad child does not deserve good things.

your past was but a distant memory, so long ago. it doesn’t matter anymore, it shouldn’t.

and yet you were unable to let go.

you vowed to never be like her, you were a logical, capable person that only cared about facts and truth, only cared about reality.

there’s no such thing as ghosts, as ghouls, as demons, as gods. even if they were, they’d never heard your cries, the desperation in wanting to take the pain away.

to take you away.

you only had yourself, you were alone.

so why do the voices never quell?

the distortion of their screams, it echoes in your skull even as you press both your hands against your ears.

they won’t go away.

they won’t leave you alone.

you begged into your empty room, begging them to leave you be, to stop, to shut up.

they’re everywhere.

you cannot escape.

you vowed to never be like her, and yet here you are swinging the first bottle of alcohol you managed to snag from the cellar in the manor, hoping to silence all the noise.

i think the song rlly encapsulates this episode so perchance you should play it hehe. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE 🙏🙏 you sigmas 🤫🧏

(TAGLIST) closed due to limit :sadge:

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