ivanthekindaaight

[ivanthekindaaight]

Pin hole pictures from photography class 🖤

[ivanthekindaaight]

for photography class🖤

[ivanthekindaaight]

really old but wanted to remember me on my DS since it’s broken rn :/

[ivanthekindaaight]

You have a beautiful way with words, my friend

why thank you :)

[ivanthekindaaight]

Black Mustang

I don’t mean to be a snob, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that I’ve always been an unusual boy 

My mother once told me that it would come back to haunt me 

My dad instead said that it’s what makes my name a luxury 

There’s a local private school where I once stood

I resided there for about 8 years 

Until I decided to uproot myself and take comfort somewhere else

I was never driven out, but I wasn’t exactly welcomed either

My voice was always a bit softer

Mind a bit more pure 

The rest of them seemed artificial 

Oftentimes, if you met one of them, then you basically met all of them.

A year later I found myself with a best friend and a mustang in the back

At the beginning, I became sad for a time 

It wasn’t for very long

Only a week

Mary pulled a 5150 on me from being so convinced I was going to be 14 forever and laying down at Kosary

When I came back

There were two souls who saw me walking down a vintage avenue 

Both of them waved me down

Smiling and laughing after a week of my radio silence 

Their minds tasted sweet like cinnamon 

Just the thought that my presence made them smile to a point I never recognized was all I truly needed 

Life became dreamy after that

Fully cinematic without even trying

Sepia filters

Flower crowns

French perfume

Running on racetracks 

Lana left spinning on repeat 

I wish good people knew that they’re good people 

Because they deserve to know

It can take years for them to realize

Sometimes even their whole lives

The ones who will always say hi to you in the hallway, ask you to be their partner when you’re lonely, all with a genuine smile

I think we need more people like that

Everyone has changed since then

Even me, the one who always stays the same

This year I’ve been thinking

You know what? 

I am going to change 

I’m leaving the door open for anyone who wants to come in and say:

“Hi!”

“Hello!”

“How are you?”

“Wanna be friends?”

The door will never be locked for you if you ever want to come in

Whether or not you do,

I’ll be content with what I know

Never forget that you’ll always have a friend named Ivan who’ll be cheering you on 

I love you all

Forever and ever,

Amen 

-Ivan Ruiz

[ivanthekindaaight]

Eau De Parfum

Y’know, I had a dream once, too.

I had a dream it was our graduation and I went up to the podium to give my speech. Not because I was valedictorian, but because I did something just as great. And when it was over, we’d run up to each other and cry and hug. It’d be years down the line when I’d meet you on a vintage avenue and I’d say “How's the kids!”, and you'd say, “How's the wife!” I'd see you on TV in a bodybuilding competition or maybe even in a perfume commercial. You'd see me in a Barnes & Noble with my name on books and CDs and vinyls and when you’d walk to the Macy’s next door you'd see my name on a cologne bottle, the same one you modeled for…

-Ivan Ruiz

[ivanthekindaaight]

Hair Over Eyes

You see me through hallways and corridors of the school and sometimes when I walk by you I feel the sense of your eyes glaze over me. I always see you in your purple or red hoodie and hair so long like mine. You imitate me in every which way with being this mysterious, melodramatic, melancholic character. You're the ghost of me, you are my shadow, my sin. But what makes us different is you like the sadness while I escaped from it. You stay in your room, you lay there, on your bed, staring up at the dead bugs in the lamp shade. You spend the rest of your days on a lonely road, walking back and forth from school listening to the same records you have at home. And after all this thinking I still wonder what was so special about me that made you look at me with your heterochromia eyes. In the meantime, I'll keep on writing.

-Ivan Ruiz

[ivanthekindaaight]

Welcome To The Funeral

Walked up to the gates

With a darkened bouquet

And I don't know what to say

Just to walk out of Kosary 

Clutching my rosary

Praying and pleading

Cause’ it should've been me

(Should've been me)

In a gardenia valley

I held the leaves 

Bestowed upon me

They wore crowns of diamond and flowers

Mine was made of crimes and daggers

(Should've been me)

I'm used to the insanity

That resides inside of me

So excuse me that I'm unprepared

It's just that

It's something that you 

Never even knew

Until they're in the casket 

In front of you 

So I've been wearing black

To suit the mood of your soul

I've been wearing black

Ever since the funeral 

(Should've been me)

There’s a certain stone

There’s a flower where your soul grows

And I’m not alright with letting nice things go…

-Ivan Ruiz

[ivanthekindaaight]

photography for a project 🖤

[ivanthekindaaight]

Fine China

My grandparents have always lived a mundane life. Ever since their kids grew up and moved out, they took it upon themselves to adopt a very American way of living. They’d wake up in linen to start their daily routine of going to church, having brunch and their little dinnerettes, TV watching, knitting, doing whatever else old people do, then heading to bed at the slightest bit of sunset. Their time in that house will always be wholesome to me. It was this sweet little cottage with a garden in the back. Fully formed with a white-picket fence. As for the inside of the house, it was filled with porcelain dolls, fine china, and my grandmother's scattered beauty products along the bathroom counter. There came a day, however, lavishly sunny and humid in the summer of 79’. I woke up at my usual time and begrudgingly made my way to the kitchen, catching a glimpse of my mother puffing away at her morning cigarettes in front of the news broadcast. This had been her routine since I was five, so of course I wasn’t phased at all. That was until I overheard something concerning my neighborhood. 

[ivanthekindaaight]

drawing from class

[ivanthekindaaight]

Don't know what to do and hoping that somebody will simply find me

🖤