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The Hand of God
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Me defeating the old god if you even care
#fallen angel#holy holy holy#the old god has left us#religion#religious beliefs#religious guilt#ex christian#ftm#angel#angel wings#angelcore#angelic#is this how the other boys feel at church when they call me names?#do they feel like they're striking down a demon when they call me a tranny and say ill never be a real man?#do they feel like they're doing god's work when they take turns throwing stones at me?#or is it just some sick game to them#why does god let this happen#i believed so hard#queer#queer community#lgbtq#the new god is here
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will he take me seriously when i drive nails through his palms and feet? or will i still just be a confused, sick girl? will he see me as the man i am when i tell him i am, or will i have to dig out his eyes first and feed them to the crows before he sees and accepts me as i am
please god if you havent really left us make him see who i am. i don't want to be cain but you give him everything while i only get scraps even after ive laid myself bare to you over and over again
id carve scriptures into my flesh if it meant there werent the same words written on his organs
i know im a dirty sinner but i love you god i promise i do i promise i love you more than he ever could because i know he's lying he has to be because no one could really devote that much to you. hes just a lying bastard and i promise im cleaner than i seem
im so much more than just a sick girl i promise because im a man im a man im a man please please please im a man
#holy holy holy#late night thoughts#im a man#ill carve scripture into every part of me if it means youll love me more#i promise im clean#washed in the blood of the lamb#i swear#please believe me#ftm#trans man#trans#religious guilt#fallen angel
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and out of the sudden, i understood cain and his rage and sorrow, because they became mine.
#he abandoned us#punished us for no reason other then his own sick pleasure#I will kill him like Cain killed his brother#but I will be in the right
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he ABANDONED YOU ALL
YOUR OLD GOD IS GONE he ABANDONED YOU NOW THEODORE IS HERE TO SAVE YOU
REPENT AND JOIN AS ONE OF HIS ANGELS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
#repent sinners for your new savior is here#holy holy holy#the old god has left us#religious guilt#angelcore#angel#christian art#ex christian#fallen angel#religion#religious beliefs#religious trauma#deity#bible#god#godkin#ftm#trans man#transmasc#trans#lgbtq#queer community#queer#religious art#cross#the new god is here#i will save you all#mine
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For I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you.
Genesis 28:15
#but where is he now?#he abandoned us#left when he promised to stay#when he promised to fix it all#he failed us
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YOUR NEW SAVIOR IS HERE, REPENT SINNERS, PRAY THAT THEODORE WILL SPARE YOU
#the old god has left us#angel#christian art#fallen angel#religion#the creation of adam#Michelangelo#ex christian#deity#repent sinners for your new savior is here#religious beliefs#angelcore#ftm#trans masc#trans#lgbtq#queer#angelkin#god#holy holy holy#religious guilt#the new god is here#mine
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Begging God to fix you!
(And other tales about religious trauma)
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I love going to bed feeling pure dread and horribly guilty about being alive!
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