izumiphoenix

[izumiphoenix]

Quietly celebrating still being here, perfectly obsessed :3

I already dread the moment my hyperfixation runs out and I start loving Astarion a normal amount.

Ugh 😑

[izumiphoenix]

Safe touch

Pairing: Astarion x reader [no gender mentioned] Word count: 1.7K Summary: Astarion is starting to have a panic attack, will you find a way to help him? Read it on AO3

Jaws clenching, alarmed eyes, trembling lips; Astarion isn’t feeling alright. And you, you recognize the first signs of a panic attack.

Approaching carefully, you try to catch his gaze with your own, but it’s shifty, elusive. You know it would be pointless to ask him how he feels.

“Astarion? Maybe you should try to breathe slowly.” You suggests in a gentle whisper.

“I don’t need to breathe.” He snaps, his voice hoarse, bitter, and his fists clenching at his sides. You can almost hear the heavy, painful lump growing in the back of this throat.

You don’t recoil. You’re not letting him down now, but you know you have to proceed carefully.

Your chambers in the Elfsong Tavern are awfully quiet. The other companions are downstairs, and you’re both supposed to join them. But you already know it won’t happen this evening.

“You might not actually need it, but sometimes it helps.”

Astarion shakes his head, his movements sharp. The wince on his face, filled with fear and anxiety, breaks your heart. You never saw him like this before, but you should have expected this to happen. After all, you’ve been back in Baldur’s Gate a few days ago only, and after the spawns’ intrusion the night before, you can’t expect Astarion to feel serene.

You need to be patient with him, and you will. He needs you to be patient.

The tension between the two of you is so heavy you can almost feel its weight on your shoulders, but it won’t stop you. You slowly walk to the bed behind Astarion and sit down on the edge. He observes you from the corner of his eyes but doesn’t make a single move.

“Please, sit with me, Astarion.”

No answer. Your heartbeat quickens with anticipation as you silently beg for him to accept.

After a moment that feels like an eternity, Astarion finally turns around hesitantly and makes a few steps toward the bed. His features are still tense, but they’re also imbued with a disarming vulnerability. You give him a gentle, hopeful smile. When he finally closes the gap between you and sits at your side, his body is still agitated with tremors and he refuses to look you in the eyes.

With great care, you slowly reached out for his hand. As soon as your skin touch, Astarion freeze for a second, before relaxing slightly just enough to let you rest your fingers against his knuckles. Your touch is light as a feather, barely brushing along his fingers. A gentle presence, but not an overwhelming one.

Your eyes never leave his face as you start to take long, deep breaths, quietly encouraging him to mimic you. He hesitates again, frowning as he watches your chest rise and fall rhythmically, the sounds of your breath like a soft music only he can hear. He opens his mouth but doesn’t speak. He breathes. You nod. One inspiration after another. He struggles to match your rhythm but eventually aligns his inspirations with yours. You’re breathing in synch, and you can easily see him relax, if only a little. Shoulders slouching slightly, his eyes finally finding yours. The moment feels precious, sacred almost. For a few long seconds, only the two of you exist, your featherlike touch on his hand, the air that passes between you, the melody of your synchronized breathing. You want to tell him it’s going to be alright. You want to tell him he’s safe. But you know words, right now, are meaningless. Your silent promises carry more truth than any grand declaration.

Another sparkle of relief rises in your chest as you feel his fingers react gently to your touch, intertwining with yours. You give a little squeeze, and he gives you sad smile that touches your soul so deeply you could have wept about it.

Breathing helps but Astarion is still unwell. No longer in panic mode, but clearly dismayed. His fingers are pressed against your palm, and another idea pops up in your mind.

Shifting slowly on the bed, you let go of his hand and sit against the bedstand. Astarion watches in confusion, a disappointed twitch of his eye as your hands part. Crossed-legged, you take a pillow and put it on your lap.

“What are you doing?” he asks in a raw whisper, as if rediscovering his breath was altering his voice.

“I’d like to try something with you, Astarion.”

He looks at you suspiciously, tensing up again.

“Nothing you’re not comfortable with!” You quickly add, desperate to reassure him. “Whatever happens, say the word and everything stops.”

The look on Astarion’s face is still that of suspicion, but you can already detect a few signs of curiosity in the way his lips curls, in the spark in his eyes. As for the tension in his body, that creeping anxiety, it hasn’t receded but it’s under control – maybe too much.

“I’m listening.” He says, his sharp gaze following your every move.

“Would you rest your head against the pillow?”

His eyes widen as he watches you pat the cushion on your lap. “I don’t understand, darling. Why would I…?”

“Please, Astarion. Can you trust me with that? I promise I won’t insist if you don’t like it.”

He lets out a laboured sigh, gazes at the room around you, taking in the quietness of the moment but also the looming threat only he can feel as the night falls upon the city.

You wait silently, until Astarion finally decides to lay down. Resting on his back, his head against the soft pillow, he’s looking up at you. Now you can feel the little tremors in his tensing muscles.

“Thank you…” you whisper, and you mean it. You’re grateful for his trust, for his willingness to give you a chance. “I’m going to touch your hair. Nothing more.”

A sarcastic chuckle leaves his lips. “And why would you do that, darling?”

“Try to relax, please. And let me know if anything feels wrong.”

He shrugs but keeps his eyes on your face. The pressure of his head against your lap is somehow comforting. It’s the first time you see his face from this perspective, and he looks as handsome as usual, albeit the anxiety still haunting his features.

“This is ridiculous.” Astarion winces, obviously unconvinced.

You don’t pay attention to that last remark, moving your hands instead, putting your fingertips against this scalp. Your touch is careful, and you watch Astarion closely, observing his reaction. The vampire spawn doesn’t react immediately, waiting for you to actually do something. Your heart is pounding hard, and you know he can hear it, feel it. You take the time you need to calm down.

When you feel ready, you start combing his silver locks with your fingers. His hair feels like silk, and you can’t help marvelling at its softness. Of course it’s not the first time you touch his hair, but you never really had the opportunity to focus on it before, to really appreciate how soft it is, to observe its luminous shine in the candlelight. For a short moment, you even forget to check on his reaction, your fingers gliding hypnotically through the silky strands.

When you focus on his face again, you instantly notice the change in his features; Astarion has closed his eyes in the meanwhile, the tension is slowly leaving his muscles, but there’s still a confused frown on his brow.

“Is it alright?” you ask hesitantly, as if afraid of his answer.

The nod he gives you is instantaneous, visceral. And it’s followed by a deep, content sigh.

You smile, you can’t help it, and you go on. You play with his hair, brushing ever so slightly against his scalp and forehead, your fingertips tracing his hairline down to his temples. Your nails aren’t that long, not after so many weeks of adventure, and some of them are even broken, but with the tip of them, you follow his hairline until your reach the nape of his neck. A gentle caress there at the top of his spine, and he shivers under your touch.

He’s smiling softly.

Your fingertips keep on travelling through his hair, combing the silver strands, and each time you brush against his ear, a little gasp escapes his lips.

He’s relaxing, progressively, slowly, but it’s working.

“Astarion…?”

“Hmmm?”

“May I touch your face?”

A moment of silence. His eyes are still closed but you can almost see the gears in his mind.

“Yes…”

Tilting your head, you carefully place your thumbs against his temples while your index fingers begin to trace his jawline, gliding down to his chin ever so slowly. Then back up again, across his cheekbones, tracing soft patterns under his eyes and from the corners of them up to his forehead. With infinite care, you let your finger glide along his eyebrows until the frown on his brow finally vanishes.

“Does it feel alright?” You ask softly.

“Keep going, darling… please.”

Your heart skips a beat. Astarion is enjoying this, and so are you.

The whole world around has disappeared, you’re both tucked in your own bubble, safe and finally peaceful.

It’s like a dance, your fingertips on his skin, sweeping away the tension, leaving goosebumps in their trail as they follow the line of his nose, the line of his lips and the corner of his mouth. You can even see that Astarion is trying not to smile, and suddenly, you want to kiss those lips. But you don’t. Not now. This is not about kissing or groping, not even about flirting.

It’s something else. Something that needs no word, no explanation.

Just your touch, safe and soft against his skin, in his hair, and Astarion’s precious mind released from the growing panic that was plaguing it just a moment ago. His body, bruised and abused so many times, finally rediscovering what tenderness truly means, finally understanding that a foreign hand is not necessarily a violent hand. All fingernails don’t scratch and cut, some of them can caress and soothe.

Before long, his features look perfectly peaceful, the fears gone, for now at least. You soon realize that he’s truly resting. Not trancing. Sleeping. You wonder if he’s dreaming, you hope there will be no nightmare, but the slight smile on his lips doesn’t vanish, and you smile with him.

[izumiphoenix]

Astarion: This damsel may be middle-aged, but let’s get him out of distress.

Love these moments in Act 3 when Astarion starts saying this kind of things about helping others and showing he cares – such a beautiful change <3

[izumiphoenix]

~~arrives fashionably late to the fandom, immediately with an agеnda (height difference, this time)

big thanks to @izumiphoenix for convincing me to overcome the horrors (win10 in system requirements) to play this game, im invested :D still in act 2 tho so no spoilers in the tags/replies pls 🤐 (yes i've already seen a lot of them here and there, but i'd like to keep at least a lil bit of intrigue intact)

lastly, they/them for my tav thanks!

[izumiphoenix]

I made myself in that picrew too, nice to meet you everyone ^^

Thank you @corvusalbus93 for the idea

[izumiphoenix]

Okay sooo I accidentally found this picrew and Astarion looks so very like Astarion here. I honestly suspect the creator is into bg3 because there are many tools to create tiefling characters too.

Here it is for those interested

[izumiphoenix]

Aww River and Astarion are so cute! ^^

Thank you for the tag @rivereverie – I used to play with picrew creating characters a lot but it’s been so long. (Still have a folder with them somewhere on my pc) I had a lot of fun with this!✨

Here is my take with Roanael and Astarion! I wanted them to hold each other’s hearts too hehe :3 And I couldn’t choose the background so there are two pairs. I also changed Roanael’s right eye so it would be silver, to keep her heterochromia.

@corvusalbus93 @litsenn – how do you feel about picrew? 😁 And anyone is welcome!

i made elenion in this picrew last year and thought i posted it as part of a tag game but now i can't find the post anywhere, so... i went and made briala too so i could post them together!

i can never remember for sure who likes to do picrews but i think this one is soooo cute and i'd love to see people make their OCs in it (if possible since this one does only have human skin tones) so i'm turning it into a tag game 💖

no pressure tagging: @ignistigator @ranger-jahen @bg3screenshotdump @waterdhaviancheeses @rosenfey @akaikami-cherryblossom @starlightweave @scint1llat3 @taruruchi @crowander @starsthoughtsonthings and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it! (interact with this post if you'd like me to make sure i tag you in OC tag games)

[izumiphoenix]

Astarion’s Hair: A Comic

Edit: there is now a part 2

(Edited to increase text size for readability)

[izumiphoenix]

Astarion drumming away outside of the entrance to the goblin camp. Just a little gif I came across that I made and either didn't post or posted as a whole gifset. Enjoy!

[izumiphoenix]

This moment in the conversation they had after meeting Pale Petras and Dalyria at Fraygo's Flophouse was very frustrating for me, to be honest.

Not in a bad way, more like: “ohh what are you doing?!” ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

Last time I played I probably didn’t check all the lines, but now that I found this branch I need to vent a little.

If you suggest Astarion to just run away he (understandably) argues he doesn’t want to spend eternity as a fugitive, constantly fearing the shadows. And this ritual might allow him to walk under the sun, even after they deal with the tadpoles. But then…

Astarion: And you want what’s best for me, surely.

Just look at his eyes. He is being so obviously manipulative with this line it feels like a stab, especially after everything they’ve been through.

And yes, he says something similar in other branches, too. But this particular phrase sounded the worst to me, especially with that look in his eyes.

Look at her face – she’s not having it too.

But here… I think he understands this as well.

But he can’t help falling into safety of the familiar patterns he’s been using for so long. He is back in the city where everything remind him of his life before. He has just had to face his siblings. And his old self reflected in them. He is back under Cazador’s suffocating presence. The inevitable final confrontation is right ahead.

And the pressure he’s under is immense. He wants to be safe, to be powerful and free. Maybe even to be able to give something back to the person he loves.

He has barely started his path to the healing, but this all is too much too soon.

It hurts to see him like that. Maybe I should be angry. And yet – I just can’t hold it against him. Not when I see where it’s coming from.

I’m sure Roanael knows that too, and she’ll just keep being there and asking the right questions, gently reminding Astarion that there’s another path – the one that leads to light, not darkness.

[izumiphoenix]

All of this has probably been said, but I need it off my chest haha

I feel like the argument Tav/Durge is robbing Astarion of the perfect life he would have upon completing the ritual works under the assumption that spawn Astarion is some kind of weak pathetic thing that is only being 'good' out of a sense of duty to someone that has been kind to him, and that having power would make him happier, but well... That couldn't be further from the truth. Spawn Astarion isn't dependent on Tav/Durge, he's his own person. He doesn't need anyone. (Also I don't really think Astarion is a saint if he stays a spawn, or even 'good' by most standards, he's still a menace. <3 Sweet, and with a capacity for compassion, but he's still him. He likes blood. He likes violence sometimes. It comes with the character, it's not gonna go away just because he stays a spawn. I do think most of the performative cruelty will fade with time, though, because at this point he's secure enough to know he doesn't need it. Anyway, I digress.)

If you talk to him in his unascended ending while being unromanced? He's so happy!! He's not doing anything that he doesn't want to do, here, and certainly not out of a sense of being indebted to Tav/Durge, since they're not even in a relationship. If meeting with God Gale in this epilogue (aka. if you play as Gale and ascend to godhood), he will laugh and make it clear that he might have wished for exactly what Gale has (an incredible amount of power), once upon a time, but now he thinks he would feel more "chained than charmed" by the power —his words, not mine. He's so self aware there, I love him.

Astarion, when he stays a spawn, is an incredibly strong and resilient person, who does not need power to feel secure. Nor does he need Tav/Durge's approval, and his actions are not meant to appease them. He's doing things for himself. He will look at his past, and he will acknowledge that things have hurt him (which isn't something he's able to do after completing the ritual, he will yell at you for daring to bring back said past). And this acknowledgement of pain is the entire reason he's able to heal and move forward. He doesn't see that pain as a weakness anymore. He's not ashamed of his scars. That's true strength, right there, the kind of strength that power cannot give you. It's beautiful.

And yeah, sure, the sun would be nice (there are certainly a few ways to get it, by dnd canon), and power is fun. But isn't inner peace nice, too?

I know which I'd prefer to have, personally.

[izumiphoenix]

He’s so silly here (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)♡

[izumiphoenix]

Okay I saw some discourse on Reddit yesterday and I wanted to give my two cents. Nobody asked but I’m giving it anyways.

The discourse was about how the game should let you still be able to romance Astarion without sleeping with him in Act One because we know how he feels and his trauma regarding sex. Here’s why I think they did it the way they did and why it makes sense to me why they did it that way.

1. Meta-gaming

The only reason we know Astarion’s stance on sex at this point in the game is because we as the player know what happens later in the game. Tav would have no way to know this whatsoever at this point in the story.

If there’s one thing every DM hates it’s meta-gaming, when you let your knowledge as a player get in the way of what your character would do.

At this point in the game (Act One sex scene) all we really know about Astarion’s past is that he was a vampire spawn under Cazador and it wasn’t a great experience for him (and some Tavs don’t get that info until this scene). Our character would not know anything about Astarion’s stance on sex at this point in the game.

And Tav probably likes Astarion. They probably think he’s attractive and want to have sex with him so when he offers, why would they say no?

You can choose not to have sex the second time when he offers and still romance him but you have to think about it from the POV of your character. Your character wouldn’t know that Astarion has a super skewed view of sex yet and is saying no to sex with Astarion actually something your Tav would do? In the case of my Tav, she really likes Astarion, like a lot, so of course she had sex with him again. She really cares about him as a person but she also thinks he’s attractive so it would be perfectly in character for her to sleep with him again when he asks.

I feel like our knowledge of what happens later in the game shouldn’t affect the way our character plays.

2. Astarion’s character

At this point in the game, Astarion has only had a taste of freedom for a few days maybe a few weeks depending on when you get the scene.

For 200 years, sex was his way of manipulating people and getting them on his side. So it makes sense that even tho he’s now free of the influence of Cazador, he still uses sex that way. 200 years of thinking that way is a long time and he’s definitely not gonna change his mindset over night.

I have a headcanon that he does like Tav at this point in the game but he doesn’t realize it yet. He’s confused about his feelings because of 200 years of not really getting to do anything or feel anything for himself.

To him, this is also transactional, at least at first. Tav let him bite them so they deserve something from him in return, which in this case is sex, as he feels that’s all he’s good at.

And we know that he wasn’t super into it because he admits it in the morning after scene but that’s because he wasn’t doing it for himself. He was doing it for Tav. He has had sex for 200 years with thousands of people but it was never about what he wanted out of it, it was always about satisfying the other person, why should now be any different? Plus he’s thinking of it as a transactional thing. “They did this amazing thing for me so I have to do this amazing thing for them.”

It’s not until he’s been free for longer that he realizes he can have sex on his own terms and sex can be meaningful and special for him too, and that it should be that way.

So I think it is very in character for Astarion to offer to have sex with Tav at this point in the game. It’s all he knew for 200 years. Sex is how he protected himself, which is exactly what he reveals was his original plan in sleeping with Tav. It’s not until Act Two that he realizes he has a rough relationship with sex and he wants it to be meaningful, he just needs time to recover from 200 years of trauma.

It’s not the most healthy way of coping with emotions but these things take time. He’s only newly free. Of course he’s gonna have unhealthy ways of coping at first. Anyone would. I’m actually impressed he was ready to have sex again in Act Three! I don’t think he was fully there yet in Act Three (graveyard scene) but he was so much closer than he had been before, and he wanted to bond with Tav, because he loves them, and do something for himself for the first time in a very long time. I think the graveyard scene is the first time in 200 years where he had sex and was actually able to enjoy it himself and get what he wanted out of it as well as please Tav.

Astarion’s growth and journey throughout the game is my favorite aspect of the game. Obviously combat and such is fun too but just seeing him breakaway from the 200 years of abuse and fall truly and genuinely in love with someone is so healing to me.

[izumiphoenix]

Two Steps for One

There is this meme I saw somewhere on Pinterest back when I started playing (sorry, I don’t know who is the author):

Back then I chuckled and nodded, but after I got to know Astarion better, now I’m not so sure it’s fair anymore.

I’ve been thinking about how I went from feeling skeptical about Astarion to absolutely falling for him, face first.

Just today again, I saw in a discussion on Reddit with some people saying how there are surprisingly big numbers of players who can't stand him, maybe 50/50. Some said that even when they try to give him a chance, they can't go past the first meeting at the beach, and off to camp prison he goes.

I have this weird trait a friend once described as being a hipster – though I don’t mean it like that. But I am often skeptical about popular titles, characters or trends. There’s this thought that comes up in my head: “Well, I probably won’t like it.” And if I give it a try, I often end up liking it anyway haha.

Maybe it’s something a little rebellious, but I think it comes from the difficulty in fitting in that I've been feeling my whole life. Me telling myself – if everyone likes this, it doesn't mean that I have to, too. Even the fact that I made my first Tav a half-elf is related to me wanting to express this inner duality. And that's what made me naturally suspicious about the popularity of Astarion, which found me on social media when the game was released.

I’ve always loved romantic stories. When I was younger, I played a lot of dating sims and otome games, quickly falling for one character after another, then moving on just as quickly to the next story or crush.

The longest one was Hijikata Toshizou – or rather, his romanticized version, since he’s a real historical figure – after I watched Hakuouki. That crush was sitting in the back of my mind for years, resurfacing once in a while, until it quietly faded, maybe around the time I saw his memorial in Japan and realized he wasn’t actually my ideal anymore. To be honest, it had been a while since I felt that kind of strong character pull. Partly, I think, I overgrew surface-level romantic stories and felt a certain depth missing (or maybe it just became harder to impress me after I consumed so many of them haha). I was starting to think maybe it wouldn’t happen again. Until Astarion.

I remember the moment when my casual curiosity turned into something more – the first night with Astarion, during the camp celebration. Or rather – the morning after it. When we see him enjoying the sunrise, so disarmingly relaxed. And the scars on his back.

That moment already hinted at his hidden depth, but it wasn’t even that.

It was the way he responded when asked nicely.

And here’s the thing: during my first playthrough, I barely stayed at camp and missed a lot of the early interactions. There were no first night talk, no poison/knife/strangulation talk, no sharing preferences of companions' blood or the bear blood scene. My character didn’t even know he was a vampire at all yet! When they spent that night together, I didn't know anything about him – just wanted to see where this was going.

If you don't know he is a vampire spawn, he tells you he used to be a slave, and this was what his former master left him.

I had the impression that a character like Astarion would try to be evasive and deflect, change the topic, hide behind charm and wit, and avoid anything sincere, especially considering his proficiency in deception. But his answer was simple and straight. Yes, it wasn't all the truth, and he was slightly reluctant, but it was what he could give at that moment, and he did it willingly.

And that's what changed everything for me. It was unexpectedly open and sincere.

And I found myself wanting to know more.

After that, it happened so fast I don’t even remember how or when, exactly. But by the time of his confession in Act 2 (the one after Yurgir), I was already completely gone.

Trying to understand what happened and why, I realized that Astarion gave me something I’ve always longed for in relationships:

To be seen, understood, and met with the same sincerity I am trying to offer.

I’ve always been guarded when it comes to romantic relationships. I'd like to think I have a strong intuition, and most of the time, my first impression ends up being right, even if I don’t act on it. And the main deal-breaker to me is when I feel that a man doesn't truly see or hear me.

The reasons might be various – sometimes it’s projecting his own fantasies, sometimes it’s cultural, or maybe just emotional distance.

But whatever the cause, it makes me shut down.

Another, related fear is being taken for granted. It’s hard for me to say no, especially to people I like. And boundaries are still a challenge.

I had friendships as a kid that fell apart this way – I kept saying yes to everything, just quietly hoping they’d notice when it became too much. But it became something expected instead.

And I’m not saying I was in the right, or a victim, I hope you understand. I’ve learned that I had a big part in this too: I didn’t communicate well and thought people would just somehow magically know, and it wasn't fair. And sometimes I placed similar pressure on others, without even realizing it. But that childhood experience is a part of what shaped me and taught me to pay attention to similar patterns – to protect myself from being hurt.

But Astarion – he notices everything.

Maybe because his survival depended on how well he read people, including Cazador, not even a small detail or gesture goes unnoticed. Your choice of words, tone, how you react, how you treat him – everything matters to him, and he responds accordingly: opens up or pulls away.

And when you take a step toward him, he doesn’t just meet you halfway, but all the way, sometimes two steps for one.

And this is overwhelming in the best possible way. Maybe even healing, in a way I wasn’t expecting.

Sometimes I wonder if my bar is too high, but in the end, I just want this:

A relationship when two people see each other, attuned and actively choosing each other to build something special.

In the end, this is all it takes.

(Of course, it’s the same if you choose friendship with Astarion. It's just that personally the romantic side struck me especially deeply.)

So maybe that’s what makes Astarion’s romance or friendship so powerful – not because it’s perfect, but because it echoes the kind of mutual recognition and effort that many of us long for, whether in fiction or real life.

[izumiphoenix]

The Dryad's Love test with your OC

Zethino the Dryad asks you how well you know your love interest. But what would the answer be, if your love interest was asked?

Rules: Think of three answers with approval, disapproval and explanation.

Roanael

🌿 Zethino: The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is Roanael happiest?

1. Offering wise druidic advice on how people should live. -2

Roanael raises an eyebrow. “I might share some thoughts, but telling others how to live was never my style.”

2. Tucked in somewhere in a quiet place in nature with a book. +1

“Perfect way to relax.” She hums happily.

3. Wandering somewhere in the wilds. +0

“It’s more a lifestyle than a joy.” She shrugs with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. She is slightly disappointed to hear such a surface level answer.

🌷 Zethino: Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does Roanael desire the most?

1. Me, of course! (if Astarion answers) +1

Makes her roll her eyes and laugh, despite the embarrassment.

2. To always keep wandering, never setting. -2

“Is not like I’m going to be on the road till the day I die, you know…” She sighs and shakes her head. Paradoxical as it is, she enjoys wandering, but not aimlessly forever. In the end she wants connection.

3. To be seen and accepted as she is. +3

She doesn’t answer, just looks away for a moment, then raises her eyes and smiles warmly, nodding.

🍂 Zethino: Fear sits in the soul of all – to tame it, we must name it. What is Roanael’s deepest fear?

1. To fail to save someone (aside from her friends). +0

It is hard, every time. But Roanael understands that they can't save everyone, and death is a natural part of life.

2. That she will never belong. –1

“Maybe in my childhood… but not anymore. I’ve made peace with who I am a long time ago.” Being appreciated by a few special for her people means more for Roanael than belonging to a group.

3. To be trusted with someone’s heart and fail them. +2

This is a scary thought. Roanael carefully chooses who to open her heart to and doesn’t want to be hurt, but failing someone who trusted her is even worse, because she would be the one who did the very thing she’d never wanted to happen to her.

Thank you for tagging me @litsenn – I had to think a lot about her personality and background and it helped me understand Roanael better!

(In Gale’s test, there was a question about what kind of food he would be – I’m glad we are not doing this xD)

@corvusalbus93 would you be interested?

[izumiphoenix]

I’ve randomly decided to refresh my blog!✨

The old theme was… well, old. Outdated.

It was created years ago, when I didn’t even use tumblr that much.

So I was growing frustrated with the dissonance it caused.

Now I feel like it fits the atmosphere, my personality and the mood I want to create here much better.

Since I am still not over Baldur’s Gate 3 the header is with Roanael and Astarion - a screenshot I really like.

But I hope the theme is still neutral enough to keep this place as a general hobby blog as well.

I’m pretty happy with it and I hope you like the new look too 😌

P.S. The pinned masterpost will be updated soon, too.

[izumiphoenix]

Meeting Yenna for the first (?) time

Yenna: I can't find my mom... Roanael: *internal panic* ...am I your mom?! 😱 Party: *suspicious glances*

Now everyone is looking at her like she’s got some explanation to do 👀

(They just both have same hair color and heterochromia 😂)