jeracoli3

[jeracoli3]

yeah the ed is gonna work this time. no i don't have any proof but just trust me bro.

[jeracoli3]

this is just a rant

I go in loops a lot here

I’m realizing that there is like no purpose to anything I do. I suck at like everything. I’m not as smart as I used to think I was, and I can’t keep a hobby for shit. I can’t even do a damn eating disorder correctly

school is about to start and I have a ton of shit left that I have to do. My room is a mess and I’m stressed as hell

this is the closest I’ve come to a full on breakdown in a while, and the urge to cut again is going to kill me. I can’t though. I don’t want to relapse.

everything feels so fucking pointless and if anything were slightly different I’d just say fuck it and fall into a depression but I can’t let myself do that because it would ruin the next at least three years of my life.

I’m going to a new school and everyone is so much better than me. I hate that I’m a quiet person, I can hold up a conversation easily but these people that talk to me only do it because they were told to. I can’t hold a conversation if it’s not a genuine conversation, unless there is a clear purpose. What the hell am I going to do when the only people who want to talk to me are people who have to?

my life is going nowhere and this is a crazy spiral to have at 15, but if I fail something this year I’m actually screwed. I want to keep a reasonably high GPA, but when it all hinges on language and math I know I’m fucked

I thought I was good at math but apparently everyone else is better, and I know everything I should be doing, I just don’t remember shit

and I feel so ungrateful because I’m lucky, I’m upper middle class, I have so much more than so many people but I still feel like everything in my life is going to end terribly even when I have so many safety nets

everyone in my life has always told me I’m smart but I’m just not. I’m well spoken and can express my opinions well, but otherwise I’m fucking stupid.

and I’m stressed which makes me think about everything too hard, which usually results in me binging. Everything I do or don’t do feels like the end of the world. I know it’ll turn out fine but it’s still scary.

[jeracoli3]

guys is it still a relapse if it was just one cut and it wasn’t even deep and like barely bled and is probably one of the most pathetic cuts I’ve ever done and it won’t even scar?

if it counts I’ll do it again just to make it worth more. I’m not letting something this small count as a relapse

[jeracoli3]

i’m not a bad person, guys, i’m just jealous of everyone around me

you’re confident in yourself? i’m jealous

you’re skinny? i’m jealous

you have a healthy relationship with food? i’m jealous

you’re able to restrict on a consistent basis? i’m jealous

the people around you notice you’re struggling and try to help you? i’m jealous

you’re not me? i’m jealous

you’re able to comfortably wear shorts in the summer? i’m jealous

i just hate everyone around me and it’s my fault and i just suck as a person

[jeracoli3]

Stole this from twt

[jeracoli3]

being on @n@ and $h pinterest has made me feel so powerful

[jeracoli3]

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE MULTISWIPE??? SCARY ASF 😭😭😭😭

[jeracoli3]

if i don’t lose 10 lbs by the end of may i’ll literally kms

(manifesting my thigh gap)

[jeracoli3]

bro if i was hotter i’d be so attractive istg

[jeracoli3]

guys apparently malnutrition and over-exercising causes osteoporosis?

like that’s kinda terrifying but also…

my momma didn’t raise a quitter

[jeracoli3]

guys i love buying clothes while i’m fasting and have that flat stomach 🫶🫶

actually makes me feel like a god when i put on clothes in the dressing room

[jeracoli3]

for my fav moot🫶🫶

reblog to heal the person you reblogged this from

[jeracoli3]

The way i make myself miserable and self sabotage myself makes me feel so powerful.

it makes me ridiculously anxious and sad, and it makes me despise everyone and everything around too, but at least i’m powerful guys

[jeracoli3]

so ive decided i’m gonna stay clean for summer (since 4/24/25). i might start again after shorts season is over, but we’ll see.

anyway, here’s a dump of every $h pic i’ve taken since February because i want to

tw tw tw

[jeracoli3]

sometimes i’ll be sitting on the floor of my room with blood running down my legs and just think:

the flip is wrong with me i’ve never even had depression

[jeracoli3]

intro post!!

hi, i’m jeri! i’m on shblr and edblr but idk how much i’ll post since i’m scared of getting termed. i use she/they pronouns

my hobbies are doing ballet, playing guitar, video games, and woodworking

i also like music! recently i’ve been really into crywank, Ricky Montgomery, and Lana Del Rey. other artists i like include the arctic monkeys, taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, lady gaga, sabrina carpenter, mother mother, and laufey