jeromesankara

[jeromesankara]

You know what.

I have a bone to pick with the entire crew of the Michelangelo or whatever the fuck it's called. It's almost 4AM, I'm not going to go look up how it's spelled. Also, fuck Tarman, he's involved too.

Why the fuck does every single character in Death Stranding 2 spend the entire goddamned game straight up lying to Sam, given that he's supposed to be their friend?

I'm actually going to start with Fragile, because fuck Fragile. I loved her in the first game and I am so PISSED at her in the second game.

She knows that Lou is dead. Oh, we may get a super bullshitty excuse from her at the end of the game about how she magically forgot key details, but he fucking knows Lou is dead. From the start. She knows she's gone. Does she tell Sam? No, of course she doesn't, because she wants something from him. She lets him walk right into this stupid mission thinking there's still a chance. She lets him carry that tiny flicker of hope and DELUSION like it's a cargo container strapped to his back.

And for what? So he'll do what they want? So he'll stop grieving his dead child?

It's so manipulative. It's so gross. She looks him in the eyes and just lets him keep believing that Lou is inside that stupid, empty little coffin strapped to his chest. She weaponizes his grief the delusion born of it to force him to be okay enough to help them even though he's obviously not fucking okay. That's not friendship, it's exploitation.

And the rest of them are no better. The whole Magellan squad, every single one of them is complicit. They treat Sam like a tool, like some kind of half-feral, half-divine postman they can just point in a direction and trust he'll deliver the impossible no matter how many times it kills him, even if it breaks him in the end.

None of them respect him enough to tell him the truth. None of them actually let him choose to grieve. Him being able-bodied and somewhat able-minded serves them more than a broken man who'd just lost his child and needs time to come to terms with that, so they just let him not come to terms with it for as long as it takes them to finish the mission.

They treat him like a fucking pack mule. I don't give a shit about Noman Reedus not being able to mocap as much. The animators could have worked without it. You get NO bonding time with the crew when you go back to the Magellan. They just tell him to go get some rest every time he tries to spend time with them and what the FUCK? You guys could at least pretend you give a shit.

And then the truth comes out and it's fucking devastating, because of course it is. All that grief building up behind that steadily cracking dam of deluded hope for so long, patched over by the duct tape of your "friends" playing along with your delusions so that you'll continue to be useful for them. And then he deals with that pain and suffers alone in that awful, painful cutscene because Fragile just walks out like a coward when she and Dollman are finally forced to admit it.

Because, you know, the only person in this entire two-game series that never lied to Sam (Higgs? HIGGS?!) has finally sown enough seeds of doubt that he's beginning to see through his own delusion.

Also they're near the end of the mission, so they don't need him to pretend to be okay anymore, so whatever.

I will fistfight the entire crew of the Magellan in a tar pit.

[jeromesankara]

Oh no he's leaking :( he made a mess :( his guts hanging out like a little slut :(

[jeromesankara]

- damaged goods

[jeromesankara]

(actually everyone does, I just like reminding people that I'm mentally ill)

(I might go back to it and work on it because I had cool concepts I'd like to revisit)

(also 4th is neither here nor there, one is literally 9 words long and only like 2 before me actually has the characters)

[jeromesankara]

Fuck you, gives your twink body hair.

[jeromesankara]

Mouth of the Wolf, Eyes of a Lamb

Higgs and Sam refamiliarize each other with Higgs' new body. Of course, it doesn't take much for Higgs to wrench Sam's thinly veiled control away.

Not canon compliant completely self indulgent smut awaits.

[jeromesankara]

Just a quick sketch but I wanted to base him off Medjed.

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🐰Peko🐰

[jeromesankara]

idk how valid i am with being upset, not having finished the first game and not having all the knowledge so my simpleton view is literally what do you mean the monster entity that killed billions (made worse by lou Not doing that) gets away with it because she occasionally gave sam a hug in his dreams but the guy who did considerably less is somehow beyond help 💀

(DS1 + DS2 spoilers ahead)

I mean to be fair I do understand why Amelie could be considered more ‘suitable’ for ‘redemption’, because as an Extinction Entity it’s literally hardwired into her DNA that her purpose is to bring about the apocalypse and end up killing everyone, whether she wants to or not—my understanding and what I remember of Amelie is that she tried to go against her nature when she was younger so the Beach ‘punished’ her and gave her uterine cancer which she had to have a hysterectomy for, which would then make her unable to have biological children whilst also separating her Ha and Ka, stranding her Ka on the Beach for probably around 50-60ish living world years, which would be around… several million on the Beach, and bear in mind this is complete isolation with the very very occasional visit from Sam. Amelie is clearly distressed about her situation with being an Extinction Entity, although her ways of going about it are clearly dubious, but her goals are reasonable based on her position—she spent millions of years in isolation in purgatory, cut off from the land of the living and the land of the dead. Her way of getting around this is hopefully merging all Beaches into one so she’s finally not alone. Yes it would kill everyone but they’ll die either way, better she doesn’t have to wait so long and her isolation stops.

Higgs on the other hand—whilst I absolutely adore and relate to him with every fibre of my being, he seems much more like someone who does not want help, he wants to either wallow in what anger and resentment he has, or get worse, but I think it’s more likely that he’s unaware that he’s doomed to repeat his mistakes because he’s blinded by his emotions and thus can’t learn from them. Also, unlike Amelie, Higgs is a regular human. It wasn’t in the nature of his very being to hurt people and cause suffering and extinction, he did that because he actively chose to, whether he was coerced or not. At some point he became a willing participant. And I don’t blame him for that. For all the shit he’s been through in his life, all the cycling abuse, all the manipulation, being used and used and used until he has to bite his way out, it’s no wonder he’s turned out how he has, but that’s something he has that Amelie doesn’t—a deep, all-consuming resentment for people and the connections they form. Whilst Amelie is actively trying to reach out and form connections, Higgs (whilst deep down he likely has the desire to, as a base human instinct from being social creatures and craving something he’s always lacked) sees the harm it causes and thinks connection’s ‘pointless’, it feeds into his rebellious personality and whole separatist thing, he doesn’t want to be chained down and he thinks that a premature extinction is, in his own way, a form of mercy. “Humanity has a few hundred thousand years, tops” and “Why delay the inevitable” and “We’re all a part of the Death Stranding”. He seems to have this outlook that all humans are good for anymore is dying. Add all the hurt he’s caused Sam and Fragile, out of sadism and revenge, as well as tens of thousands of years of complete isolation on the Beach and being alone with his anger that now had the room to spiral and spiral and spiral on top of all that. Yeah. It’s no wonder Amelie got the nicer treatment. She was Sam’s family, and she was trying—she wasn’t a sadist even though she had done a lot of wrong. Higgs, on the ofher hand, whilst yes he’s suffered a lot of hurt and he’s right to feel the way he does, he actively goes out of his way to hurt people, and whilst him and Fragile have history, I would say it’s very different to the type of bond Sam and Amelie had. They have a reason to save Amelie. They don’t have a reason to save Higgs.

And I guess that’s partly why it hurts.

I do want to say that I think you’re completely valid for your emotions, I myself am also still quite upset about it and I finished the game nearly two weeks ago, so this isn’t me trying to invalidate your feelings. It’s more me trying to look at it from an objective point of view and how the differences in their character would’ve fed into the direction they went for their arcs. And believe me I was desperate for, if not a redemption arc, then at least a healing arc for Higgs. But he got worse and worse until he had to get put down like a sick dog. And it cuts deep because of how attached I am to him and how much I relate to him. But I also understand why they went the way they did for him. Was it the best option? Probably not. And I think it goes against the message of the first game, as well as what I feel like the second game might be trying to say��I do think his arc feels hypocritical in the bigger picture, but as an individual, Higgs’ inclination for escalation until self-destruction fits with an ending like that.

[jeromesankara]

Higgs is an Abuse Victim and I'm Tired

Hi. I think I'm about to make people mad with a hot take.

Spoilers under the cut for Death Stranding 2, as well as discussion of abuse and victims and assault.

Higgs is a male abuse victim. And I think if Higgs was a woman, he'd have been treated much differently.

And I know what you're gonna say. "Isn't this the 'you'd like Amelie if she was a guy' but in reverse?" No, actually! Because I hate the President in DS2 and he is basically having the same purpose as Amelie but that's not what this is about.

Higgs has been abused his entire life. From his Uncle to Amelie to the Beach. We know in his journals he was beaten regularly, there's even evidence of sexual abuse as well, but that part isn't as concrete as the fact that Higgs was raised in a living hell in a shoe box he could not escape from. So what did he yearn for above anything else? Power. Control. He took power back in violence to save himself, and I think that's really all Higgs has done after.

He knows violence keeps himself safe. It keeps himself safe when his DOOMS weakens and he has to kill to 'recharge' it. People liked him, though. Veteran Porter looked up to him. He started finding purpose. Maybe could have let the violence go if he didn't meet his next abuser, Coffin, who used him in her terrorist activism against Bridges and further poisoned the well.

"But he abused Fragile!"

Yes! Which brings me to my next point. Fragile is ALSO an abuse victim under Higgs. He took away her youth, basically assaulted her and tortured her, and soiled her company and made everyone think she was a monster. But y'know what? Fragile was allowed help. Higgs, though, only spiraled deeper and deeper.

Higgs is still an abuse victim. And even in the shallowest of times where he was allowed to grow past being a victim, it wasn't for long. And it's because he had power to protect himself from being a victim again that he's seen as worse than the devil.

Now, Higgs did awful things in DS2 too. He killed Fragile. He tried to kill a baby. He brought violence into the world. I don't think DS2 Higgs could have been saved. I think he was past saving at that rate, as painful as it is for myself to admit. But he wasn't always past saving.

Higgs was abused and he was left to rot in his abuse his entire life. He was a male abuse victim who was not expected to be savable. Fragile, meanwhile, was literally healed of the physical scars of Higgs, even. She will never completely recover from what Higgs had done to her, but she has the support to help her become a better person.

Higgs just walked on broken legs ever since he could crawl.

He didn't give weakness because he wasn't expected to. He wasn't allowed to break down when Extinction depends on his work, when God is in his ear telling him that he's finally achieved power to end the suffering he had endured. Higgs was given power he always craved and he was going to use it to stop suffering. Meanwhile Fragile just existed licking her wounds and waiting for someone else to get Higgs on his knees for her.

Fragile had Sam. Had Bridges. Higgs did not. Higgs had abuse. And maybe it's because Higgs is a man that he was expected to carry the pain of a lifetime of being used. Because his abuse also came from women. But I don't think anyone's really willing to talk about that, nor how Higgs has never had a figure he could trust to even begin healing.

Higgs never had the chance to heal. This is even BEFORE the fact that we talk about this man constantly drowning in chiralium that drives people insane. And do you think being stranded on a beach that is so soaked in chiralium it can keep an eternal fire burning... for eternity is a great place for your mental health?

And I'm fucking tired of people treating Higgs like he's a demon because DS2 forgot about his entire history and turned him into a one dimensional cackling monster. Higgs was not allowed to change because the story didn't want him to. The story only wanted a villain.

"But what does this do with Higgs being treated differently as a woman?"

Because women in this universe in general are treated differently. I know that's a blatant Kojima thing, but look at all the female characters and tell me that if they did what Higgs did that they wouldn't be forgiven in some way.

Just look at Amelie.

Amelie. A fucking. Extinction Entity. Is forgiven. She started the Homo Demens. Not Coffin. Everything began with her. She strung Sam and Higgs along in a game to reconnect the UCA so she had a proper foothold to begin extinction. Even more than that, her being an extinction entity is a closely guarded secret throughout the entire world. No one breathes her name. But Higgs? Nah. Fucker tried to blow up the world all on his own. He's a boogeyman.

Amelie is just as abused in what is expected out of her as Higgs is. But she gets protected because she didn't have a choice. And yet Tomorrow clearly made the choice to not follow the path of Extinction at the end of the game after the fucking baby vore. So apparently. The choice has always been there. Thanks for that, Kojima.

I could keep going. I want to keep going. But I'm just tired.

Edit: I'm adding one last note about how this game loved to string around the idea of trying to stop cycles of violence by supporting one another. People being brought into the Magellan crew to be supported. Even if Higgs couldn't be saved, it would have been nice for a single person to be like: "...Hold on." And really thought about what causes a person to be too far gone. No one speaks Higgs' name outside of venom.

He's just a Boogeyman. A monster. He is only evil.

[jeromesankara]

When it was discovered that Zalim (ironically meaning, cruel) was in the company of two very young cubs, those at Ranthambore feared the worst: that, as an adult male, he would kill them. Instead, he surprised naturalists with his “motherly” behavior when he took in his twin daughters following the death of their mother.

At this time, science stated that tigers were only as social as mothers and cubs could go and that tiger fathers rarely interacted with their offspring. Zalim changed that when he was witnessed, month after month, caring for his daughters and teaching them how to hunt. Their relationship eventually ceased when the two girls were shifted to Sariska Tiger Reserve and Zalim went on to father another litter with the then-dominant tigress Sundari, the so-called Lady of the Lakes. When she too mysteriously disappeared, Zalim unsurprisingly took care of their cubs as well.

Ranthambore National Park, India Photograph taken via camera trap

[jeromesankara]

Shoutout to Death Stranding 2 for introducing me to the amazing musical talent of one Troy Baker!

Some of my new favorite tracks:

BB's theme

The Promise

What I Deserve

Far Away

[jeromesankara]

God.

I hope Troy Baker got a fat paycheck and a splint for his back after what he did to carry this game.

It's okay baby, I'll never be mad at you.

*smooches*

You did your best with what you had.

[jeromesankara]

finished sketch page with my love 🍕🎸

[jeromesankara]

[jeromesankara]

Holy SHIT people are horny.

I dig it tho. I'm just surprised it's suddenly become my third most viewed Death Stranding fic. I guess I'll try writing more porn if you guys like it 👉👈😳 I'm not very good at smut yet so you'll have to bear with me.

The link if you haven't enjoyed DS2 samhiggs magellan elevator sex.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67009057

[jeromesankara]

I keep thinking about the final fight with Higgs.

I even experienced joy, replaying the last section. Higgs saying they should be together forever, like he can trap Sam on the beach with him, to not suffer alone. That he loves him.

I saw his broken shell fall away with the backdrop of extinction.

I wondered if this is all he wanted, to find connections in the only way he knew how; through clenched fists.

I wondered if he thought Sam loved him too.

I saw a glimmer of Higgs as he played for Tomorrow, his creation. The only thing he's ever created wholey on his own. The only thing that was his.

...And then the baby vore happened and I realized that the glimmer is gone and that this game pisses me off.

I'm going back to writing fanfiction instead.