joongieology

[joongieology]

OBSESSED

MONSTER ⚚ 西村力

I'm a little monster 날 겁내

널 괴롭혀 내 꿈만 꾸게 해

Synopsis - You find out your coworker is the monster everyone has been searching for, wanted by the people, you take him into your care to protect his life.

Genre - AU, soulmates trope, grumpy x sunshine (kinda), horror, workplace rom.

Pairing - 西村力 | ニキ x fem!reader

Warnings - Cussing, suggestive, spice, violence, riki is lowkey creepy.

wc - about 5k.

There was a faint sense of danger in the atmosphere. Everyone knew this particular danger as, "The Monster." A rather cliche name, yes? At first, the speculations of something bigger and darker to be looming the shadows was deemed as crazy and impossible. Daily sightings and happenings proved that theory wrong. Apparently this monster would lurk, it hunts, it traps. It is thought to be a formless creature imposing a human. The ones who survived has said multiple things about the beast. It's alluring, but there's deadliness beneath all of it. If you tick it off, you weren't to be breathing the very next day. There hasn't been one day where the monster rests, it's been appearing as such a malevolent being. It peaked your curiosity, but alas, you were only just a human in the simple working class. Everything felt normal, the routine was the same. Boring, but nothing dangerous would ever happen because the same plan was in effect every day. Just work. Luckily, you got a good role and didn't require that much to do.

But something was... very off. There was a new guy working here, in the same field as you, albeit looking a little confused around in the office set. You couldn't help but sense the shift in energy when he walked in, or even walked by you. He reeked of.. nothing. There was nothing clinging onto his scent, he smelt like a living void. Your boss even went along the lines of saying "he seems to be a good fit for you so look out for him on the job" yeah, right. You, help the most creepiest and unsettling guy in this workplace. You've observed him for a few days now. He constantly looked calm, there was no expression on his face. He didn't move around too much, but he always knew what he was doing. Unless it came to.. daily human things. You spotted him at the coffee machine one day, evidently struggling with the machine. Your brows furrowed upon the sight. It's just a normal human having trouble with a machine, that's.. well, normal. Until he tried to eat one of the beans held in the nearby coffee bean bag. Who on earth would try to eat that?

You tapped him on his shoulder whilst he was trying his best effort to make his coffee. His movements halted completely, as if it was a robot trying to make sense of a human touch, calculated the best response. You could hear him sigh and turn around, eyes locking in on yours. A quick chill was sent down your spine followed by a nervous chuckle, but you put on a gentle smile nonetheless. Reluctantly reaching out for the bag, you closed it up and grabbed two small cups. Opening the lid of the machine, you put them into the slots and placed his cup underneath. He stared down at you before clicking the button, letting the machine do it's work and make the caffeinated drink automatically.

"That's.. how you work this one. The beans are for the other machine over there." You pointed, and he looked over to where you did. His movements were quite awkward, like he just learnt how to socialize and ultimately, use his body. Maybe he's got something going on mentally?... Of course, you didn't judge. But it was something about his aura and the way he reacted that was incredibly dark. Like he was genuinely mimicking something—someone, a human. He grabbed the cup and stared again, eyes fluttering and thanking you with a quick nod of his head. Man, he's weird.

There was something that connected you and him. Something that spoke to you and urged that curiosity, to explore it. Getting distracted by the way he moved, the way he kept silent almost all the time, the way he seemed almost inhuman. A knock on glass startled you out of your train of thoughts, your boss gesturing you in with a finger. You tore your gaze off of him, getting up reluctantly and heading into his office. He could tell you were distracted and his eyes followed to where you were looking, chuckling in amusement. "Good. Because I need to talk about him with you." Your head snapped back to him, eyes widened. "Why.. why are we talking about the new guy?"

"Riki. And—I just wanted to let you know you two will be collaborating on a project since you're the only two people in the same field." It took you by surprise at first, then utter disbelief. You didn't exactly want to be paired up with the man who spoke multiple volumes, and not on a human volume. You wanted to speak until a knock on the glass grabbed ahold of your attention and your boss. You squealed at the sight of the new guy—Riki, standing at the glass momentarily before stepping into the office, paying no mind that no one specifically called his name. He was quiet until he broke the silence. "I heard my name." That was moreso sounding like a statement rather than a question. Your brows furrowed. How could he possibly hear that if the glass limits voices on the inside? His eyes darted to you rather quickly, forcing you to look away as your stomach churned uncomfortably. Your boss offered a seat for him and he sat down next to you, looking awfully poised for a man who just suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

"I told y/n that you two will be working together on a project since you're the only two in the field. And that's also open for any other work as well. What do you say?" Riki didn't exactly have a choice. Again, he fell to silence, only looking at you. Your heart started to race and his expression shifted into something else finally. "Sure. As long as her heart isn't constantly racing like that." Your heart dropped into your stomach and practically out of your ass, shifting in the seat. There was a tension. One that your boss probably couldn't sense. After he dismissed you both, you went out first before him, going back into your cubicle and wishing it was just a little smaller. Why'd you let him get to you like this?

"Hey." A deep voice was heard next to you and you lifted up your head, seeing Riki standing over your chair with hands in his pockets. He studied you, your reactions, a small smirk forming onto his lips like something twisted. "We should probably work now, right, jumpy?" You cleared your throat, trying to calm your racing heart with a breath and allowing him to grab his chair and roll it over to you. To your surprise, he wasn't in shock by a rolling chair. Working with him was a hassle—not because he didn't know how to work, certainly not. He had a complication. Staring. His eyes were either wide or narrowed, biting down on his lip harshly like Riki was holding something back. "Y/n. Why are you so jumpy with me?" He questioned, his head tilting to the side painfully slowly. God, his movements were so... odd. Creepy. "I dunno. Just.. not a people person." Your heart picked up again upon your lie, and his smirk grew bigger.

"Liar. You wanna know something?" You wanted to reply not really, but offered him an open-minded shrug instead. "You give off a really odd smell when you're scared. So, what are you afraid of?" His tone and words were almost taunting, and that was the first time you've ever seen him that expressive. Your skin turned prickly, the longer you stared into his eyes, the more it felt like your sanity was slowly slipping. You were sure this interaction wasn't supposed to happen. "Nothing. I.. don't feel so good. I'm gonna head out early, sorry." Riki leaned back in his chair with a small squeak, the smirk dying down on his face as he watched you pack. Maybe he was sizing you up. Perhaps he's a sociopath, or some sadistic killer that takes their time with their victims. You could feel his eyes on you the whole time until you walked off.

The news flashed onto your TV screen brightly, a cold cup of ice cream in your hand and your jaw slightly agape. You covered your mouth, thinking you were going to be sick at the sight. The "Monster" struck again. Whatever this.. thing, being was, it was surely violent. The news caster was spending her time at one of the most famous locations the incidents have happened. The lights would start flickering around her, and the video itself would become choppy. Jumbled screams, and you weren't sure what else you saw. All you knew is that it gave off the same feeling that Riki brought you. The dread, the fear, as if he got off on that. Feeding on it. You quickly turned the TV off, setting your cup of ice cream down and letting out a groan. "It's such a big town and it so happens to be where I live.." you murmured to yourself, suddenly becoming paranoid from the sight. You should probably keep all the lights on tonight. You shuffled away from the living room carefully, putting the ice cream back up into the freezer and heading off to the bathroom to get ready for sleep.

Honestly, how could anyone sleep comfortably at a time like this? Knowing that there was something out there spiritually, it was nerve wracking. Your kind wasn't the only one. You always figured it was like that. You stopped brushing your teeth when the lights in the bathroom flickered. Absolutely not. Quickly scurrying off into bed and locking the door, you couldn't help but feel worried. You believed it was all a scam. Maybe your coworker was simply a weird guy who struggled to communicate. You dragged the covers over your head and kept your phone close, illuminating the darkness under you as you tried to sleep.

The next day dragged on painfully. Your workload was greater than usual, and you started to think if it was Riki bringing you all the bad luck. No sleep, a weird nightmare, the coffee machine malfunctioned and eventually splattered on your shirt and had to change it. Computer crashing, the whole nine. You heard from another colleague that internet has been off and on with the connectivity and that devices malfunctioned frequently, ever since the "new guy" came into town. She was a bit gossipy, but anything to get dirt on Riki. "I tried to search him up, guess what? Nothing came up. Nothing! I wonder how he even fucking got hired." You chuckled nervously hearing her words, finding it difficult to talk about someone like that, especially him. With the way he acts, he might as well appear behind you two on the stairs and slice your throats out for talking shit. You cleared your throat, shifting on your feet as you waved the cigarette smoke out of your face whenever she accidentally blowed it your way. "So.. about him. Have you ever felt.. odd around him? Like, dread? I keep getting that and I don't know what it is." She nodded frantically, putting out her cigarette and stepping on it. "I totally do. It's almost like he's not human, ya know? And that's a great speculation with that monster thing going around."

Your nose scrunched at the mention of the monster, skin tingling when you remembered the way he looked at you, the way the lights flickered in your bathroom like a signal. You blinked the thoughts away. "You believe in it? Who do you think it is?" You questioned her. "Not who. What. That thing cannot possibly be in form with the way people are getting attacked. Everyone always says it's just.. darkness, shadows. Some of them have seen a human-like form, but they never saw it enough to make it out." You nodded your head intently at her words, appreciating the info greatly. So, if Riki was hypothetically this monster, then you're technically working with a formless entity freak. Oh god. That dread is back. After the conversation you quickly bid your goodbyes and she went up while you went down back to your level. The lights in the stairwell flickered again, and your eyes narrowed, searching around for anything. "They need to fix these damn lights.." you kept walking down the stairs and it infact felt longer than usual. You looked back up, finding the same level to be in the same place. Lack of sleep.

It has to be. You're not going crazy, right? You took a deep breath and exhaled, continuing your steps but backwards rather. You were going down now, so you carefully turnt back and saw the correct door number. Placing your hand on the handle, it didn't seem to be unlocked. Who in their actual right mind would lock a door leading to an office? You started to brainstorm, and then overthink. You must be crazy. Is it the coffee? Laced? Sleep deprivation? Chuckling sarcastically you set your mug down, turning your head back and forth, ready to be scared by something or someone. "This is ridiculous." Your fingers tapped impatiently on your hipbone, eyes rolling when you actually thought hard about what you were doing. Kneeling down to get your mug, you saw a black figure, the lights in the stairwell going out completely. Screaming abruptly, you thought it was best to just shut up and jiggle the doorknob. Oh, c'mon—the door finally opened and you swear you could hear someone breathing, yet it was pitch black. "Stupid thing." Someone muttered, a flashlight turning on and revealing a well energized looking Riki. "Y/n? You smell like tobacco. Hurry inside." His arm snaked around your waist and brought you inside, making you drop your mug. His steps were insanely light. Nothing about him was human.

Back inside the office, you were more relieved to see other faces. Ones that didn't particularly freak you out everytime you even so looked into their eyes. His arm was still hooker around your waist, flashlight pointing at you. "Lights are out. Weather." You sure it isn't you? Your hands went out and pushed his arm off of you, brushing yourself off and gathering bearings. "What's your problem?" His tone was monotonous. You scoffed and grabbed the flashlight from him, pointing it annoyingly at his face, unbothered by it. "My problem is you. I can't figure you out and it's pissing me off. Why do you sound like that? Why do you move like you just learned how to—" he cut you off with a loud hum, grabbing the flashlight back from you and taking you somewhere else. Off into the women's bathroom at that. He placed the light on the sink, illuminating the room all over, a bit dark in certain corners. "We're in the women's bathroom, Riki." You spoke firmly.

"I know. Problem? I don't need you causing a scene out there." Silence fell between you two, awkward. And it gave you a bit of relief that you could actually feel something else with him. But regardless, he stood there creepily, still. Like he was waiting for you to make a move. "What are you?" You bravely asked. He chuckled dryly, crossing his arms and eyes glancing at the mirror, almost to check if he was okay. "Human." "That's awfully weird to say. It's almost like any other human would've said who rather than what." His smile faltered when you replied and he grabbed the flashlight, turning it off. You stumbled from the sudden change in light, eyes trying to adjust. It was too quiet. "..Riki? Don't play these games, I'm serious. The lights are out and it's already getting cold." You felt like the darkness was overcoming you, goosebumps forming onto your skin. You felt hands grab at your shoulders, lips grazing your ear. Another hand went over your mouth. But how? "You say shit to anyone and I'll have you dead in a few hours. Humans, always running their mouths. You have a fun time talking it up with Gina on the stairwell?" So, it was him? You knew it. You didn't try anything, it was the smartest move. Anyone who stepped up to him was forcefully stepped down, beneath the ground and later buried. "Good. I'm trying to live just like anyone else here." His words made your thoughts hit a switch. Trying to live? With the amount of people he's killed?

"I know what you're thinking. But I don't.. kill unless I have to. Those people? They're just gone until I release them. Everyone is constantly hunting me as if I can't be here like anyone else. Your kind, it's all the same. Race, religion, sexuality, there's always a way where you make it feel like someone can't belong. Even for a monster." Your breath hitched, the atmosphere suddenly not so dark as you remembered it to be. Heart aching with empathy, he slowly listened to your heart rate go down and eventually let you go, leaving the room and the lights all flickered back on. Holy shit. You raced for him outside the doors, already finding him gone and escaped. And there's nothing about him online. Except where he usually hangs out.

You just had to get off of work early to spot him again. You wanted to know more, needed to know more. You clung onto your shoulder bag, staring down at your phone and walking down the stairwell in a hurry, searching up all the locations the incidents happened at. One happened at a subway, two on a silent road, and more at a neighborhood. That's where the news normally camped out. You felt a bit bad for him. Even if he was a monster, there was no point in trying to cast him out. You wondered how he even got to this point. This level of emotional distress. Can they even feel emotional distress? "It doesn't matter whether day or night, as long as the monster gets to have darkness or shadows, it thrives and feeds off of that." So, he thrives in darkness? Looks like you're going to summon a monster today. Certainly wasn't on your bingo card.

Everything you tried was a failure, so you eventually gave up and started to walk home. It was too busy on the streets, and you must've looked quite weird sitting down at the bench for hours and awaiting nightfall in a neighborhood you've never been in until that moment. Sighing to yourself, you tucked your phone back into your pocket and ignored the attempts for now. Will he be at work tomorrow or maybe flee? You thought about him the whole time, almost like you were worried. You shouldn't be acting like this to the very thing you're afraid of. But the look on his face when you helped him with that machine after and awkwardly said his thanks, he's genuinely trying. But why does a monster want to try at this life? Just wash it off and worry about it tomorrow.

You locked the bathroom door behind you just for safety and turnt on all the lights, having a flashlight as a backup. Even though you felt empathy for him, he still threatened you in the bathroom earlier on. But that contradicted what he said. He doesn't kill unless he has to, and really if he was scared of his image being exposed, he would've killed you already. The water cascaded down your back, showering off the experiences you just had today. Your life wasn't exactly so boring now. You quickly showered in hopes of the lights staying on, which they did, and headed to sleep. More like fighting off sleep.

Believe it or not, your sleep came quickly to you. Lasting a whole day without sleep all while being hunted and threatened by some demon-like man who lurks in the shadows wasn't for the faint. Twisting in the sheets, your eyes slowly opened and glanced upon a lamp that was out. A lamp that you had left on. The only light in your room was the moonlight, which had a hostile atmosphere to itself. It seemed more dark outside than inside. You didn't want to close it though, it was too comfortable. You felt fatigued and anxious, creating a hectic mix. When you went to close the curtains on the window, a knock sounded at your front door. Vulnerability struck through you. It was quiet again, and the knock wasn't heard for awhile. Something told you to just open the door and not wait for another sign. You padded outside your door, tripping upon objects on the ground you didn't see, eyes blurry from waking up. You opened the door to see an extremely distraught and disheveled Riki, immediately coming inside without any introduction. How the hell did he find you? And the biggest question, why is he gripping his side like that? He stepped into the kitchen and opened your fridge, groaning at the sight of the light and switching it off. You stood there, clueless, eyes straining to see his figure.

He groaned and shut the fridge, running a hand through his hair and limping over to your couch, plopping down on it. You could barely see anything and the silence was deafening except the occasional loud breathing from you. "Riki? How did you know where I live?" He gestured for you to sit down next to him, and you didn't want to follow until a light bulb shattered nearby, his hand gesturing again. Asshole. "That costs money, y'know." You sat down next to him, watching his figure adjust on the couch, still trying to make everything out. The smell of blood hit your nose when he moved. "..Are you hurt?" He grumbled as a response, almost embarrassed that he was like this. "Yeah. Your kind, again." He looked down at his hand covered in dark blood, lifting up his shirt to see the puncture wound. He wasn't healing as fast as he thought, so he came here. The only human he's actually spoken to. He wouldn't admit it, but you were the one he could rely on.

"What's going on? Aren't you, like.. not human?"

"I have a human body. If I die, then I go back to what I was before. I came here because I need something." You huffed at him, his explanation brief and serious. "What makes you think I'm gonna help you after that threat?" Your question was left lingering in the air, his body shifting again and this time to hover over yours. You couldn't see him, but you smelt him, and he still reeked of that nothingness. His bloody hand was the one that placed itself on your hip, leaving you squirming against the sensation of it. "Because you know if you don't, you won't see the light tomorrow. What I said still stands. We're both in a situation here, so why don't you just put those good skills to use, nurse?" What he said made sense to you, unfortunately. You used to be a nurse, wanting an official profession in it, but seeing so many people hurt and so much gone, you couldn't bring yourself to finish with it. So, you chose the corporate life. He leaned up and off of you, watching your trembling figure escape off into your bathroom. You came back with a medkit in hand, ordering him to lie back. He was reluctant to follow a human's orders, let alone you with that attitude, but he did it anyway.

He watched you turn on a flashlight and point it towards his wound, leaving him to jolt and grab your wrist tightly, eliciting a sharp pained gasp from your mouth. "No light. At all." You tugged your wrist away from him, picking the light back up and setting it down on the coffee table with a loud thud. "Well, dumbass. I need to see if I'm going to help you." His fingers landed on the bridge of his nose, eyes squinting shut as he mumbled, "just don't fucking point it at me." For a monster, he sure as hell had an attitude. This version of him was much more human like. You were meticulous with the procedure, watching him groan somewhat and having his arm across his face, face scrunched. "Fuck.." he cursed. "Couldn't you do something that's less painful?" His curse made your stomach churn with warmth, but not uncomfortably this time. You cleared your throat harshly to interrupt the heat spreading to your cheeks. "It looks like a gunshot wound. It's bound to hurt, Riki. And how can you feel anyway? Can't you turn pain receptors off?" He chuckled lowly, taking his arm off of his face and looking down at you tending to his body. "What, are you a little girl? It's not a fairytale. I can't just turn pain receptors off in a human body." He remarked, almost panting when you started to wrap a bandage around his waist. "There." Your eyes darted up to him, face only slightly brightened by the flashlight. His eyes locked with yours, and this time you didn't pull away. "You're.. gonna be okay, right? Who shot at you?"

"I don't know what they're called. The people that.. talk with the microphone infront of the camera. She had police this time." Your eyes widened, the dots connecting like tic tac toe. "The news reporter? Oh my god.." Riki sat up and winced. "You're not supposed to be moving. Just.. take off tomorrow and stay here." He rolled his eyes at you, taking his hand off of the bandage and standing up from the couch, speaking in a pitiful tone. "I'm not gonna stay here and invade your space, princess. I know you don't like it when people do that." You took ahold of his hand, and his fingers decided to intertwine with yours, causing initial shock. "Are you living up to that offer?" His voice dropped, not carrying the human-like sense to it anymore, brooding yet dull. You nodded your head and he took his hand away, lying down back onto the cushions. "Just.. rest. I'll bring you water or something."

He drank the bottle of water, scoffing it down like he hadn't had anything to drink or eat in weeks. He wiped his mouth after, handing the empty bottle to you. You took it, lips pursing at the fact that he thought you were some sort of maid. He wanted an excuse to just stare at you from behind. He swallowed thickly, running his tongue against dry lips and watching you get something else for him. Ever since he laid eyes on you on the first day at his job, he craved you like no other. But what person would want a monster, one that especially struggled to fit in with the crowd? Even him sitting there looked like he was having a hard time. A monster had one born purpose, to feed. He was starving. He hadn't let that side of him come out for a while. You came back with multiple choices of foods to choose from, his eyes lingering on your face rather. "Y/n. Stop for a sec." You looked afraid, wondering if you did something wrong. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, a random habit he picked up off of humans he's observed in the meantime. "I don't.. mean to keep scaring you. I just wanted to say you don't have to do that." You released a breath in relief, putting the plate of healthy looking foods on his lap, face scrunching at the sight.

"Y'know, one thing about this whole ordeal is that my body will technically reject all of this."

"What are you, a vampire?" You joked around, seeing his expression falter into something sinister. Your heart picked up at the sudden eye contact he held, head tilting to get a better look at something. The way he watches people, studies their movements, it was all horrifying. "No... but I do need blood to replenish. And your heart is racing in a very distracting way." He paused for a beat, leaning closer to you with fluidity, eyes wide open. He hasn't blinked yet. "If I said I've been watching you for a while, waiting, what would you do?" Your breath hitched when you inhaled, heat rushing into your body and eyes darting around awkwardly, letters dying on your tongue. His hand reached out to rest against your cheek, skin unnaturally cold. "Would you do it? Giving me the blood I need to keep this form." You slightly flinched upon his touch, but it wasn't so uncomfortable. You couldn't bring yourself to make eye contact anymore, shutting your eyelids tightly and replying with a choked voice.

"I.. don't know. I'm still unsure on whether or not you wanna kill me."

"I'm not going to kill you. I just.. want you. Maybe in ways your human words can't bring to explain." His words, it was all too familiar. Like this exact moment has happened before, somewhere, at any given time. You grabbed onto his hand, looking at it closely, the details on his hand. You couldn't believe this.. thing in front of you was a monster, formless, but ultimately looking normal apart from his movements and socialization. "Riki, I.. but you're a monster, aren't you? How would that work? I mean, I can protect you but—" you cut yourself off and his fingers intertwined with yours, bringing your hand up to his nose and inhaling the scent of nervousness on you. "I'm a monster with human qualities. I can eat, drink, laugh; feel pain, give pleasure, feel it. Giving me your blood will restore just a bit more of all that."

"Why can't you just buy some? Why my blood? Why me?" He pressed a kiss on your wrist, lingering for a minute before pulling away, nails tracing the veins on your skin, admiring the way your human body operated with him. He would take this as a lesson, plus something more. Something deeper that goes beyond the level of understanding he already has for your kind. One thing he's never experienced just yet. "Don't you get it? I'm here because of you. We've met countless times, this time it's just different." You guess it made sense. Before he even became the local news, you constantly had dreams of it, had dreams of multiple faces before you with the same events happening. You met up. Every time. But why? There was no possible explanation as to why you two were tied by the red knots of fate. "If you really.. need it. I'll allow it. Just this once." A crooked smile etched onto his face as he stood up, taking your hands in his and heading to your bedroom, knowing where it was. "Uhm, Riki? What are we doing in here?"

"Shouldn't we do this here? I thought your kind liked the bedroom." His words caught you off guard, hands snaking around your waist. It was too dark to make anything out still, but he didn't want any lights to be turnt on. You swore this man was a special case. Another pair of arms you felt wrap around you, just like in the bathroom, memories of the threat flashing in your mind. This was risky, but something different happening in your life, you didn't protest at all. "You don't mind a little shadow manipulation, do you?" The other pair of arms tightened on you, making you shuffle back into him, body colliding with his, making him chuckle softly. The way he did so, it made it appear that he had other intentions. Completely different from what you promised. "I.. guess not. But aren't you just taking blood? Why so much?" He shrugged, fingers teasing the hem of your shirt as his lips suddenly ghosted over your neck, placing rushed kisses. He seemed to be kissing more than actual biting, maybe preparing your skin, but the amount of squirming you did made him grab onto you harder.

"I don't remember you always doing this."

"Maybe because you're only kissing me? What happened to the biting?" You rasped out, the other pair of arms releasing you as his real hands slid up to your shoulders. "I already did. Painless, huh?" Your hand skimmed across your neck, landing on a small puncture mark of his teeth, lower abdomen churning while he just kept touching you. "Are you gonna stop?" Hands slipped underneath your shirt this time, his hands now warm, fingers tracing shapes on your skin. "Maybe not." He breathed out, lips finding your skin again. And you didn't resist at all this time around, eyes fluttering shut.

In previous lives you both promised you would find each other. Again and again, no matter the circumstances, no matter the changes. He would find you, he would lure you and love you and in return you would protect him with your life. Despite him being what he is, it worked out. You didn't want it to end, and he understood that clearly.

(A/n: Did I cook or what guys.)

[joongieology]

My Wife? My Wife. | Park Seonghwa

Pairing: Husband!Seonghwa x Wife!Reader

Genre: Arranged Marriage, Smut, Fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

Tags/Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!! jealousy, possessive!Seonghwa, simp!Seonghwa, cussing, nudity, mention of worshipping, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), endearments (let me know if I missed something!)

Sypnosis: You're at a Gala waiting for your husband, when you bumped into someone you knew from your university days. To say your husband was jealous would be an understatement.

Note: This is the first time I wrote smut...hope you'll like it!!

Disclaimer: The following content is a work of fiction and does NOT represent the written member in any way. You're responsible for the content you consume.

You're standing on the marble floor of one of the biggest hotel around the world, with your mask in place, and your hand gliding over the slightly wrinkled part of your beautiful red dress, attempting to straighten it.

You're at a Masquerade Gala today, your 'husband' nowhere in sight. He did say he's going to be late—well, technically, his secretary did—but you still felt nervous and out of place. You looked around, everyone wearing a mask, but you're sure that these people are very important people, just like your husband.

You're husband is the young CEO of a big food company, passed down to him by his father, who retired early to 'enjoy the rest of his life'. You, on the other hand, is the heir to your mother's famous fashion brand.

You both never really did anything like other couples do, because your marriage was just out of convenience for both companies, but of course, you have to act like the perfect couple in public, under the watchful gaze of thousands of people who knew you both. Being the children of your popular parents certainly isn't as wonderful as others think.

Your thoughts were interrupted when someone gave you a tap on the shoulder. You turned around, facing the masked man with two glasses of wine in his hands. He looks familiar.

"Want one?" He asked, pushing one of the glasses towards you.

"Thanks." You took the glass with a small smile, not wanting to seem rude, though, you wouldn't drink it, the fear of getting poisoned again made you wary of other people offering you food or drinks. Does he recognize me?

Back then, you were at a party organized by your mother, when one of her friends' daughter offered you a glass of champagne. Not thinking much, you drank it without hesitation, but it tasted weird and bitter. Suddenly, you had the urge to puke, and good thing you did, because it contained some kind of cleaning substance. Your mother noticed you immediately among the crowd and brought you to the hospital before anything worse could happen. Later, you found out she did that out of jealousy. Ever since then, you never ate anything anyone gave you, unless you saw it being prepared.

He tapped you slightly on your arm this time, waking you back to reality.

"Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

"Y-yes." You choked out a forced chuckle.

"Do you remember me? It's Joong." He confessed, seeing the wariness in your eyes.

With that, your eyes widened and you suddenly found yourself hugging him. He wrapped his arms around you too, smiling a little.

"Oh my gosh! It's been so long!" You were ecstatic to meet him again, your college best buddy. You two always hung out back in your univeristy days, whether while studying, or doing club activities, you were always with him, and him too.

He pulled away from the hug, chuckling, tucking the fallen strand of hair from your bun, behind your ear.

"Yes, it has, indeed. We've both been very busy." That's true, after graduating university, you both had to work for your parents' company, not having time to hang out or catch up with each other anymore.

Suddenly, you felt an arm wrap around your waist. Startled, you looked up at the person, then sighed of relief.

Park Seonghwa.

Even with a masquerade mask on, you still recognized him. How would I not recognize the man I love?

"So it was true." Your gaze shifted upon Hongjoong who was smirking, looking at Seonghwa's arms around your waist then back to meet Seonghwa's eyes.

"It is, of course. You thought you had a chance?" Seonghwa's mocking tone with a mix of anger confused you. What the hell are they talking about?

Before you had the chance to ask, your husband took your hand and pulled you to the elevator.

You looked up at him while he's just staring at the elevator's door, eyes sharp, his grip on your wrist like steel.

When the elevator opened, he dragged you to a room, tapping the card on the lock. He didn't even bother to turn on the lights before pinning you against the wall.

"You think you can just flirt with whoever the fuck you want when I'm not around?" His face so close you can feel his breath on your lips.

"I wasn't flirting with him, I was just—" before you could finish your sentence, he buried his face on the crook of your neck and wrapped his hands around you, inhaling your scent then started planting small kisses from your neck to your shoulder blades.

"You're"—kiss—"mine,"—kiss—"you got that?" His stare made you feel butterflies on your stomach. He was so close that you can feel his hot breath hitting your lips, your body starting to feel hot too.

"God, I've been wanting you for so long." He uttered with his deep voice, looking at your lips then back to your eyes. His lips mere inches away from yours.

Fuck.

You couldn't hold back anymore. You crashed your lips to his, moaning at the feeling of his lips against yours. You felt him smile before he started kissing you passionately, like a man starved for days.

His hands started roaming around your body, hands touching every inch of your skin, leaving not an inch untouched. He took a hold of your hips, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist. When you did, he walked over to the bed, gently laying you down with him on top, not breaking the kiss.

He unzipped your dress, pulling it down then throwing it somewhere in the room. Then, he removed his clothes one by one, leaving both of you in your underwear. That's when he broke the kiss to look at you.

"God, you're fucking beautiful, so damn beautiful, like always." He couldn't help but repeat his praises towards you, finally saying the things he failed to tell you before. He knew he wasn't a good husband to you, and you deserved better, which he, will become better for you. He was the one who planned for you to marry him, kneeling in front of his father, asking for permission to marry you. You didn't know the lengths he had to go through in order to get married to you, and he planned to keep it a secret forever. He would never let others have you.

He started kissing you again, moving over to your neck and all over your stomach, then he came face to face with your clothed core.

"May I?" He asked for your permission first. He would never do anything to you if you're not comfortable with it. He respects you above else.

When you gave him a nod, he gave you a kiss on the forehead first before he unclasped your bra and removed it.

He was looking directly at your eyes while removing your panties and crashing his lips to your wet pussy, finally tasting you. You moaned in surprise, feeling the soft pillowy lips of his against your bare core. You felt his tongue lick long stripes from your core to your clit, then he slowly put in a finger inside you. He started slow, gradually incresing in speed.

Your moans were like music to his ears, something he can listen to 24/7. Even the feel of your hands pulling on his hair felt oh so good. Fuck, he could worship your body all day if you'd let him.

He sucked on your clit then added another finger inside you, his other hand busy fondling with your breasts.

"Honey, faster please." You plead breathlessly. He was taken aback by the endearment, but it sure as hell made him harder.

"My pleasure, wife." He smirked against your clit before sucking it harder and fingering you faster.

He felt your pussy tigthen around his fingers, indicating that you're nearing your orgasm. He moved over to your breast, sucking each of them alternately without his finger stopping.

"Fu-fuck, I'm cumming—" your orgasm hits you before you can even finish your sentence.

Slowly removing his finger inside you, he hugged you while you catch your breath, his head on top of yours. That's when he pulled back and looked at you with a suggestive smile.

"Care for another round?"

Feedbacks are highly appreciated!!

[joongieology]

Someone will always write faster.

Someone will always have a bigger audience.

Someone will always seem better.

The only writer you need to be better than is past you.

[joongieology]

to a dying? atinyblr

i don't usually speak about these things, but a lot of blogs (amazing writers) are leaving this platform or taking time off bc of lack of engagement which serves as a big demotivating factor. especially and specifically in this atiny fandom, some things have come to my attention and i just want all readers and writers to take a look at this post and refresh some reading and writing etiquettes, as well as revive the essence of being a part of this fandom.

feedback:

i understand that there are a lot of silent readers on here, but since tumblr is dying and our fandom is not very huge, the least you can do to show the writers some support is like the post. 

which brings me to the point that the like function didn't even exist in the past. this site still runs on reblogs. as readers, to show your favourite writers some semblance of support, you should be reblogging with tags. a simple ‘#ateez x reader’ or ‘#ateez fics’ is enough. it's literally not asking for much– reblogs are the only way writers can get reach.

if you cannot do that bc of your blog's aesthetic or whatever, side blogs exist. if you still cannot do that, a simple anon ask appreciating the writer sometimes saves them.

also, what has happened to the quality of reblogs? readers consume years of writers’ work and efforts in mere hours and don’t even leave any feedback? art in general in all forms is very underappreciated and with all sorts of problems like plagiarism, ai writing and everything, true art and writing is dying and needs to be appreciated now more than ever. we’re literally the last generation witnessing ai take over in all fields of arts. appreciate content creators before it’s too late, don’t be a content glutton!

updates and requests:

asking writers for updates when they specifically mention that they would prefer posting at their pace is wrong for so many reasons– we all have a real life. you, the reader, do too. just like you don't always have time to read, writers don't always have time to write. do you ever see the writers asking their readers 'why have you not read my latest chapter?' 

most of the times, writers mention in their bio/faq post or elsewhere that they do mind being asked about updates. respect your writers, please, and do a little scroll before you send such demanding asks (also, sugarcoating when asking for updates does not make it any better!)

if you are only asking about updates, it demotivates a lot of writers bc these same people will disappear when it is time for feedback. writing is a form of art. we can write, artists can paint, musicians can compose music, but all of it has no meaning unless it is shared with an audience and appreciated. readers are just as important as the writers but there is no way of knowing fics are valued unless feedback is given.

the same goes for requests. you can only send a request when the requests are open, which is usually mentioned in the writer’s bio/faq post. it’s literally not that hard to check if requests are open and it’s basic decency to not send a request when the writers specifically mention that requests are closed. when sending a request, please be courteous. a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ are examples of being courteous when sending requests.

the fanfics in atinyblr:

i understand that you can read whatever you like, but why is it that in the atiny fandom, fics that do not contain smut hardly ever get attention? as a writer, i enjoy writing and reading smut, and while i am not specifically a smut blog, i have noticed how fics containing smut get far more reach than fics that do not contain smut– not just in my case, but other amazing writers as well. 

there are such amazing fictions in this fandom. all fics are crafted with dedication and care, yet stories without smut often get sidelined. writers are not able to express themselves in their writing freely anymore and they simply conform to a genre they know readers will consume, as they are forced to consider adding smut to their stories so they can get more reach in this fandom. i have heard accounts from a lot of writers who were inclined to add smut to an otherwise smut-free fic just for reach.

this is by no means hate to the smut writers. i am also not placing blame on them. smut drabbles have always been in this fandom, and there are amazing smut writers out there, doing their thing. it is the readers here who are failing the writers. readers are quick to talk about the lack of ‘good fics’ or ‘plot’ yet will not even bother searching for these works. there used to be a good balance and appreciation for all genres alike.

i know that smut is what's hot and trendy these days, and drabbles in general, no matter the genre, are easier to read when you want to take a short break. but there is such a lack of longfics in this fandom, especially as of lately, and as someone who has personally witnessed the ratio of longfics decrease exponentially, i felt the need to point this out. appreciate all writers! appreciate all genres! longfic writers need as much validation and encouragement as drabble writers, and vice versa! don't be too harsh on longfic writers for not pumping out fics at the same speed as shortfic writers.

and on that note, smut drabble writers experience a lack of quality feedback despite the high engagement, so readers, please don't hesitate to point out exactly what you liked about a fic, even if it's a short drabble! be kind to those writers, give them time to write and be kind when sending requests! they may post more often but they, too, have a life.

tags:

this is specifically for the people who will post a very normal picture of a member, no caption, but tag it something like #ateez smut, #ateez hard hours, #ateez x reader. and for the people who tag their asks with irrelevant tags– literally learn to tag your post properly, and stop crowding the wrong tags. you're just proving the point that if you don't tag a post with the smut tag or something similar, it won't get reach. if you've posted with a caption, that makes sense (though it still doesn't warrant some of the tags being used there).

as for writers, also learn to use your tags appropriately. fics that do not contain smut should not be tagged with smut related tags. believe in yourself. i get that there is the problem of reach but do not overcrowd tags with irrelevant material.

disclaimer:

this is by no means about me. if i cared about the notes, or lack thereof, i would have stopped writing a while ago. while it is challenging to be a writer here, especially as of lately, i still enjoy posting whatever i write no matter the genre or the word count. but it's a bit disappointing that my planned out fics get much less attention than a simple smut headcanons post that i wrote in the heat of the moment with my friend in literally a few hours as a joke (which has reached almost 10k notes btw in a span of 2 years). sure, it has exposed my blog to new readers but that's about it.

this post is for all the amazing writers who have left, are thinking of leaving, or are struggling to voice these problems because they are afraid of being marked as 'problematic' or a 'hater' or something worse. i am not afraid to voice my opinion on here, and if you think that i am wrong, feel free to interact with this post and correct me because i am not claiming that i am right about this.

these are just the observations i have made as someone who has been actively writing on this platform for about 4 years now, and since i have a decent number of followers, i hope this post gets more reach. do not be afraid to reblog this if you agree, and even if you do not, reblog this so someone else gets educated. i may have missed some points so feel free to add if you want too.

[joongieology]

Hongjoong is getting viral for his verse in SMB (by Odetari) and seemingly calling out HYBE's CEO

the verse:

KQ's (ATEEZ company) response:

full lyrics of Hongjoong in eng:

[joongieology]

‘why do you read “various x reader stories?”’

first, i’m a narcissist and will not read it if it’s not about me

second, I love the feeling of people liking me

third, I was ignored as a child

[joongieology]

2U | Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Jeong Yunho X Reader

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.4k

Tags/Warnings: University AU(?), cussing, mention of violence, possessive!Yunho, obsessive tendencies (please let me know if I missed something!)

Sypnosis: You're sure that your best friend has always been kind and friendly with everyone, so when you found out otherwise, you did not want to believe it, or maybe you're in denial.

Song Recommendation: 2U by Justin Bieber

Note: I've been working on this for a while. The idea behind this story is so good but I'm not sure if I delivered it properly >_< Anyways, happy reading!!

Disclaimer: The following content is a work of fiction and does NOT represent the written member in any way.

You've known Yunho since, like, forever. You can't even remember how you first met him, just that you've known him since you were in grade school. Wherever you are, he'd be there too. You two were inseparable. So when you got accepted to the university you've always dreamt of attending, and he didn't, he was beyond devastated.

You were sitting side by side on the couch of your apartment when you checked the results. You squealed in happiness seeing that you got accepted. You immediately looked over Yunho with a big smile, but it slowly disappeared when you saw his expression. He was just sitting there silently, disappointment evident in his eyes, with a hint of...anger? But his expression changed right away when he heard your voice.

"Yuyu?" You called out to him slowly, gently tapping him on the shoulder. He always loves it when you call him by the nickname you made for him; it sounds almost angelic when it comes from your lips. It's as if he is an angel himself, or so you thought. He looked over to you and gave you a tight smile.

"I didn't get in. I got waitlisted." He almost couldn't get the words out; it felt like something was blocking his throat. Just thinking about you being away from him and being surrounded by other people, especially men, made him want to pull his hair out.

You hugged him from the side, slowly caressing his arm, trying to comfort him.

"That's alright; we can still meet from time to time. Every day, or maybe five times a week, or on the weekends, if we're not too busy..." You tried to sound convincing, but even you were sad with the thought of being away from Yunho. You were always together that you forgot the feeling of being alone, so the idea of not having him by your side in a new school, a new environment, tormented you.

The university was far from where you currently live, so it would be quite hard to see each other much, considering you'll also have to stay at the dorm once college starts. Unless he finds another school in the same city the university is at.

You pulled away from the hug, thinking about other ways to comfort him.

"Would you like to stay over...?"

Yunho staying over is nothing new. He always sleeps over when it gets too late while you're having a movie marathon, completely forgetting about the time. He almost always sleeps on the couch, except that one time.

You were at the kitchen, getting some water because you were parched from bingeing your current favourite TV show, when someone knocked at the door. You looked at the clock; it's currently two in the morning. Who could be here at this hour? You peeked through the peephole to find no one. Okay, now, what the fu— Your line of thoughts was interrupted when you heard another pair of knocks. "Y/N." Someone from the other side of the door whispered, so low you almost didn't hear it. Yunho. You opened the door to find a nearly zombie-like looking Yunho. He was crouching down, back towards the door. He looked up at you from his position and grinned. "Hi." He said with a smile, standing, then hugging you, practically putting all his weight on you. He reeks of alcohol. "Yuyu, can you stand properly? You're so big, and you're putting all your weight on me!" You whisper-shouted, not wanting to wake your neighbours. He giggled like a kid while you're still struggling trying to hold him up. He attempted to stand properly and started walking to your bedroom, but he ended up walking in zigzag. When he finally got to your room, he removed his shoes, shirt, and pants, leaving only his boxers on, then lay down on your bed. Even when drunk, he still remembered how you dislike getting on the bed with outside clothes on. You felt your cheeks flush. You shut your eyes and turned around. Inhale, exhale. This would've been nothing to you if your friendship was purely platonic, which it was until it wasn't. You honestly don't know when, but one day, you just started to look at Yunho...differently. You're suddenly aware of every little thing he did for you that you weren't aware of when you only saw him as your best friend. Like remembering the things you like, you don't like, and doing things for you—for your convenience. But of course, you wouldn't dare confess your feelings to him, fearing that it might ruin your lifelong friendship. You faced the bed, eyes still shut but peeking a little, and you walked towards Yunho and covered him with your blanket. You stared at him peacefully sleeping on your bed, in your apartment, with nothing but a pair of boxer shorts on. He looked like a prince. You went over to the other side of the bed, lifting the blanket to get under it, when your eyes caught something purple on the side of his waist. It was a bruise. What did he do? Where was he? Why does he have a bruise like this? You took note of asking him tomorrow about this and also putting a cold compress on it, then you went to bed.

After that night, you asked him about the bruise, but he just shrugged it off and told you that he just bumped into something and not to worry too much about it. You did not press further because he looked like he didn't want to talk about it at all.

"Would that be alright...?" He answered you with a question.

"Yeah, I mean, you often sleep over anyway; it's no big deal."

He showed you a smile and kissed you on the forehead, like he always does.

-~-

It was officially the first day of college, and you stood in front of the gate, mentally preparing yourself for the new environment you'll be facing. No Yunho, no nothing, just you and the infinity necklace he had given you before you moved over to the dorm—and your things of course.

While walking, you looked around, scanning the buildings, trying to look for the building name written at the schedule given to you, which was saved to your phone.

You bumped into someone looking as confused as you.

"Are you a freshman, too?" You build up the courage and start the conversation. If you want to make friends, better make one now.

"Yeah." she answered, looking awkward.

You glanced at her phone and saw the exact same schedule as yours.

"Oh! We're classmates!" Excitement was evident in your tone. At least you'll have a friend among your classmates, or so you hope.

You looked for your building together, almost getting a headache from going around the campus. When you finally found the building, you immediately went to your room, and class started.

Lunch came, and you went to the cafeteria with your newfound friend. You were peacefully munching on your lunch, thinking about what Yunho would be doing right now—when someone placed their lunch beside yours. You smelt his perfume and instantly knew.

"Hi." He was smiling yet again.

"You—why—what are you doing here??" You don't know what to ask first. You were just genuinely happy he was here. Even when other students that were sitting near your table started to scatter away while murmuring something among themselves, you still didn't care.

You hugged Yunho around his neck.

"I go here now."

"What—how??"

"Long story. Don't worry about it. What's important is I'm here now, right?" He uncapped a drink—your favourite drink—and placed it in your hands.

You nodded, sipping on the drink. You glanced over at your friend sitting beside you, her face pale with shock written all over it, while staring at Yunho.

"What's wrong?" You asked, concerned.

"N-nothing." She gave you a tight smile and went back to eating.

Odd. You gazed at Yunho, and he just gave you a shrug with that infamous smile of his, urging you to finish eating.

The next few days went by. You were thrilled to have Yunho at the same school. You always hung out together, sometimes bringing your friend along with you. Yunho didn't seem to mind, saying, 'As long as you're happy.'.

College was actually tolerable, better than you imagined. Your friend invited you to go to a party on Friday night, insisting you bring Yunho too.

You talked about this with Yunho. At first he was reluctant, claiming your friend is not trustworthy and you shouldn't be hanging out with her too much, but eventually, he agreed.

The place of the party was not too far away from the university. It was a big house with a pool in the backyard and a beautiful garden at the front. It was packed, some people dancing, some just hanging out drinking beer or heavy liquor, some kissing, and some smoking...weed?

Is this a fucking frat party?!

Well, might as well have fun; besides, Yunho is here with you anyway, so nothing will happen... right?

Your friend dragged you and Yunho to the kitchen and handed each of you a beer she got from the cooler.

You drink occasionally, most of the time with Yunho, but you've never really been a heavy drinker. Him, on the other hand, has a high tolerance; that's why you were surprised when he came to you drunk that night.

You were getting pretty dizzy when Yunho snatched the can of beer you were holding. It was your third, halfway done. You leaned onto his chest, and a whiff of his perfume reached your senses, causing you to giggle.

"Gosh, you smell sooo good~~" You were still giggling, looking up at him, eyes half-lidded. He took a glance at your plump lips and gulped.

Oh, you have no idea what you do to him.

He wished he could kiss you right there and then, make you feel good like you've never felt before, claim you as his, and submit himself to you, but he held back, not wanting to scare you away, not knowing you felt the same way he did.

You stared at each other, silently relaying your love for one another, hoping the other would just snap and let go.

One...

Two...

Three...

And you pulled away, excusing yourself to the bathroom. You locked the door and stared at your reflection.

Y/N, just tell him already!!

You wanted to pull your hair out of frustration, but you tried to calm down.

What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he likes someone else and just sees me as his friend? Never mind.

You composed yourself before going out and heading back to the kitchen. You stopped in your tracks when you heard your friend and Yunho's voice.

"What the fuck is so special about her that you'd do all that for her?" You heard your friend's voice.

"She's everything I want; she's everything to me, something you'll never be." Yunho's tone was so low, it almost scared you.

You've never been scared of Yunho once in your life; he has always been so nice and gentle towards you. He never did something that would scare you in any way, so you assumed he was like that with everyone else.

"I wonder what her reaction would be if she finds out what you're doing behind her back." She mocked Yunho.

"I fucking dare you. I won't even look your way if not for her. She considered you her "friend" that's why I've tried to put up with you, but this fucking stops now. Stop throwing yourself at me and don't show yourself in front of us ever again, or"—you heard him step forward—"I'll fucking make you."

She actually tried to throw herself at him?

Bitch.

You heard footsteps, and then there he is, looking at you with a shocked expression, eyes as round as they can be, mouth slightly agape. Then you closed the distance between you and...

You kissed him.

You're kissing him.

You're kissing Jeong Yunho.

Fucking finally.

You had to tiptoe to reach his lips. When he recovered from the shock, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, and kissed you deeper, more passionately. He's been waiting all his life for this, and he wasn't about to let the opportunity pass.

When you ran out of air, you pulled away from him slightly.

"I have something to tell you." He spoke first, gulping, thinking about what your reaction would be. This is it.

He led you to the poolside and sat there, folding his pants so as not to get them wet, then dipped his feet in the pool. He removed his denim jacket and placed it beside him, patting it, signalling you to sit on it. You obeyed, dipping your feet as well, the cold hitting you immediately.

Then he confessed. Confessed everything he's been doing since he met you. Like pushing away other kids so you'll only play with him. Threatening other guys to never pursue you or even look your way. Fighting with other guys when they said something bad or sexual about you. And the most recent thing is having to beat up someone just so he'll get in the same university as you.

You tried to process everything, trying to take in the new information. You honestly don't know what to feel, a surge of emotions hitting you all at the same time. You never knew he was so possessive of you; well, of course you knew that he wanted all your attention on him, but not to that extent.

Were you so naive to not notice all that? How he was so cold towards everyone and only kind to you? How much he dislikes it when someone tries to get your attention? All the subtle glances and hand gestures he does behind your back, trying to warn others to not disturb you? Were you really? You never noticed all that? Or maybe you did; you just never cared because it benefitted you. You never cared as long as he's with you. You never cared as long as you always got your way. You ignored everything for the sake of you and your relationship with each other. And maybe, just maybe, you are just as crazy as him.

Feedbacks are highly appreciated!!

[joongieology]

Muse | Jung Wooyoung

Pairing: Artist!Boyfriend!WooyoungxReader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.2k

Warning: mention of naked body

Sypnosis: Your boyfriend has been busy with his gallery, leaving you missing him. One thing you didn't know though, he had a surprise waiting for you.

Note: This is the first ever fanfic I've written. English is not my first language so please bear with me. If you have any feedback, please let me know!

Disclaimer: The following content is a work of fiction and does NOT represent the written member in any way.

You've been dating Wooyoung for a few years now. Everything is well, better than you could ask for, but you wish you could move on to the next stage. You've always dreamt of getting married in a church since you were a little girl. Striving hard so you can save up for a grand wedding, wanting you and your future husband's day to be extra special. And now, you finally found the man you want to marry.

You met Wooyoung through your college friend, San. You went to get coffee at your usual hangout place—a café near the university—when you saw San with someone. You proceeded to where they were sitting and San invited you to sit with them.

That was the day you met Wooyoung, and that was also the day you started liking him. He was very chatty and he always made you laugh that you started to have a little crush on him. The three of you began to hang out more often, and then one day, he asked you out. You said yes, of course (who wouldn't), and you've been dating since then.

He had always been fond of art. Painting, photography, and even sculpting. He wanted to have his own gallery one day, to show off his works, and it is about to come true.

Wooyoung found a decent place where he could set up the gallery and renovate it to his liking. He was the one who worked on everything, claiming he wanted everything to be perfect. That meant, you don't see each other often because he got busy with his gallery. He never told anyone the location, not even you, which you found a little odd, but never questioned him.

You just finished eating when he showed you something on his phone. It's a map with a picture of what looks like the outside of a gallery.

"It's done. The grand opening will be tomorrow." He started, gauging for your reaction.

"Already?! Does anyone else know about this? What if I'm the only one who shows up?" You flooded him with questions, more nervous than he is.

"Don't worry, I already sent out invitations to friends and family." He said with a chuckle while piching your cheeks, clearly amused.

You sighed, relieved that you wouldn't be the only one to witness this. You want the world to see how talented your boyfriend is, and he worked hard for everything to get to this point. Even though he said this was just a small achievement, you were still so proud of him. He can finally show off his love for art.

-~-

"You're here." Wooyoung said as he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek. You came a bit earlier than the time of the opening so you could be by his side.

"Finally, you got your own gallery. I'm so proud of you, Woo." You gave him a peck on the lips, earning you a small genuine smile from him.

You straightened the collar of his button-up and fixed his hair a bit to make him look more presentable. He smiled at you but you noticed that he looked a bit nervous. You held his hand and squeezed it, comforting him. He intertwined your fingers and guided you to the entrance.

After a while, people started to arrive one by one, family and friends, and even some random people who had taken an interest in what was happening in this new place.

Everyone was in awe at the simple yet elegant interior. The walls were off-white and the art pieces were placed perfectly. Everything is in the right place, the way they were arranged was pleasing to the eyes.

You looked around and noticed that the art pieces consisted of pictures and paintings of places very familiar to you—they were places you've been together before. There are also pictures and paintings of events that have transpired in your life. The memories came flooding in as you looked at each art piece. You looked around once more, you noticed a black screen in the middle of the gallery. It's off, what is it for? You asked yourself but brushed it off. One thing stood out though, it was a pink door leading to a room. It had its own spotlight, it also had a name on top, just like every piece here.

"Y/N." You read out loud. Why did it have your name on it? Also, why is it pink, your favorite color? And why does it have the word 'Private' beside the door?

Wooyoung was greeting everyone and thanking them for congratulating him when he noticed you looking at the pink door. He walked over to you and put his hand on your lower back.

"Wanna see what's inside?"

"Yes." You responded, curious as to what could be inside.

He took out what seemed like a remote from his pocket and pressed something on it while guiding you inside.

There were at least five of what you assumed were art pieces covered in red velvet blankets.

He removed the cover of the one on the left, revealing a painting of you grinning from ear to ear, holding a pack of your favorite gummy bear, with the name beside it, 'The most beautiful v(you).' This must've been the time he brought you your favorite snacks, that made you all excited.

Then, he removed the cover on all of them except the one in the middle. There was a picture of you sleeping, a painting of you gazing at the stars, and a sculpture of you, as in you, in your wholeness, naked body.

"Oh my god, Woo." You said, your voice small, overwhelmed with joy, and love, and—everything.

"Do you like it?" He asked, nervousness obvious in his tone.

"I love it!" You exclaimed as you hugged him.

"There's one more." He ushered you to get closer to it. When he finally removed the cover, you covered your mouth in shock.

It was a sculpture of him, on one bended knee, holding a small black velvet box. Woo took the box and copied the stance of the sculpture.

"Y/N, will you make me the luckiest man and marry me?"

It's finally happening. The man you love is proposing to you.

"You've given me all I could ever ask for. Yes, baby, I will marry you." You utter with tears in your eyes.

He carefully puts the ring on your ring finger, and yes, he bought your dream ring, he still remembers it even when you mentioned it only once, he remembered, like he always did.

He hugged you so tight you thought you would burst, and whispered, "I love you so much, my love. Thank you for everything."

"I love you more, Woo."

You went out of the room and everyone's congratulating you both.

Huh?

When your eyes caught the now turned-on screen in the middle. So that was what the remote was for.

"Woo!" You hit his arms slightly. Terrified of the thought that they must have seen the pieces inside.

"It only showed us, don't worry, I won't ever show those pieces to anyone, especially that one." He chuckled while jokingly shielding himself from your playful hit.

"Finally, Woo, you prepared so long for this. Congratulations." San said with a big smile, holding a glass of wine.

"You knew?" You asked San with one eyebrow raised.

"Yup, everyone knew, except you." He uttered with slight amusement in his tone.

Wooyoung sure knew how to throw surprises because you didn't expect this one bit. But you're happy he did, cause this became one of the best days in your life. The thought of marrying this man made you giddy.

Your mom hugged you and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm quite curious to know what's inside that." Your mom said, pointing at the pink door.

You and your fiancé looked at each other with knowing eyes and a huge grin.

Feedbacks are highly appreciated!!

[joongieology]

doll

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐦 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬. 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥. 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jeong yunho x f!reader insert 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: jeong yunho has a secret. it is locked away in his apartment, away from the dorm, away from his close friends, and away from his idol lifestyle. it waits for him every night, and sends him off every morning. and he just can't wait to end his day and get his hands on his pretty little doll.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: stockholm syndrome, captive!reader, kidnapper!yunho, manipulator!yunho, angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, degradation, manipulation, toxic relationship, touch deprivation, violence, light jumpscare(once), bondage, victim blaming, anger management issues, threats, blackmailing, petting, dry humping, dacryphilia, dumbification, praise, wax play, pet names, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: the reader isn't necessarily small or petite, yunho is simply that big and strong that compared to him she is written the way she is. :) not completely proofread!

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

yunho detests being away for a long time. more than that, he loathes having to keep making up excuses and lying to his close friends just to go to his own apartment. the time digits on his phone screen do not change fast enough, and soon the man finds himself gnawing the inside of his cheek and thinking whether or not to tap on his most used texting app. he sits in his makeup chair, giving the makeup artist a hard time as his fingers itch to type a message to a certain someone.

"yunho, please stay still. i'll be done faster if you let me work." the woman begs. he sighs, and finally puts the phone in his pocket. at least tries to, before a notification stops him.

doll: yunnie doll: i miss you yunnie :( doll: [file attached]

yunho lowers the brightness of his phone screen, then the volume just in case. his fingers then eagerly tap on the file, and his eyes are met with a sight he will never get tired of seeing: a picture of your face, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks flushed, and lips a pretty pink shade, just how he likes it.

doll: be home soon, pretty please?

yunho: what did i say about being needy and impatient? i'll be there when i get there. behave.

doll: i will. i'm sorry.

he knows that he has worsened the situation. that your bottom lip is probably quivering right now, and fresh tears are threatening to spill down your rosy cheeks. and he doesn't hate it. he only hates that he isn't there to see it. satisfied with your lack of replies, he finally sets his phone aside and allows the artist to finish her job.

when yunho arrives at the apartment, he makes sure to turn the key slowly when unlocking the door. he doesn't turn any lights on, simply putting his jacket on the well memorised spot near the entrance and proceeding into the living room. the window is open, but yunho does not worry. you know better than that.

the place is spotless, which means that you really wished to catch him in a good mood today. and he likes when you work hard for him, cleaning his apartment, cooking for him, ironing his clothes. when he is happy, you are happy. and when you are happy, yunho has hit the jackpot.

in the corner of his eye, he notices a sketch pad and a few pencils neatly set on the corner of the window where you loved to sit. the absence of light meant only one thing; you were fast asleep. you probably tired yourself from crying, then tucked yourself in like usual.

the man's polished shoes lightly click against the spotless parquet floor, legs carrying him to the window where he has bought and installed a hanging chair for you. you loved to sink into the fluffy pillows under the blanket, big eyes looking outside where you know you are not allowed to go. but not once did you whine about it, instead thanking him for allowing you to look. he takes the sketch pad, slender fingers tracing the faint pencil lines on the white paper.

it is his face, from today's live they held before their comeback. when you texted him, you really did miss him. so much that you turned on the big tv which you never usually touch without him, turned on the youtube live and made multiple sketches of his face. you had even sneakily put a few hearts around his head, and a small one on his nose. at the bottom of each paper, your pretty handwriting; my yunnie.

he notices that the pencils are getting smaller from being used and sharpened much more lately. he will get you new ones as soon as possible, just so you don't stop and fall in a slump again. he loves when you do things that make you happy.

instead of going to the bedroom next, he proceeds into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of whisky and for you – a glass of peach iced tea with four ice cubes. you love it when he brings it for you. even though he has bought packages and packages of the product, and you can drink it whenever yourself, it always tastes the sweetest when he brings it to you.

and he does, quietly setting it on the nightstand and taking a sip of his alcoholic beverage. he sets the short glass right next to your tall one with cherry blossom prints, before finally sitting on the bed.

your figure is half covered by the fluffy blanket he has brought you as a present from one of his tours. you had used it every day and night since, going as far as being whiny while it washed and dried. yunho didn't understand your love and attachment to an item like that, until you confessed one night, halfway asleep and a blubbering mess.

"you bought it for me. it means that you saw it and thought of me before doing that. you remembered me, yunnie."

and since then, yunho always looked for presents to bring you. but he was always rushed, and ended up buying you a lousy souvenir or a chocolate from the duty free shops. he promised himself to get you something even if it meant being late for his schedule next time.

the moonlight peeks through the blinds, illuminating your still flushed cheeks and smeared mascara. your tied up hands are hidden under the pillow where your head rests. softly, yunho pulls them from under it, fingers carefully undoing the knots he made himself. the knots which he crafted himself are thoughtfully put together and pretty against your skin. he was generous enough to let you pick the colour of the ropes, and your answer was always the same: lavender.

once your hands are free, yunho brings your wrists to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to each one before turning his attention to your resting face. his fingers itch to caress you, to touch you, but he doesn't wish to disturb your peace.

he doesn't have to, because his scent envelops you, and before he can react, your nose moves like a bunny's one and your eyes open. he can't help the smile that spreads on his lips when he sees your excited expression, just before you throw yourself on him and try to wrap your arms around his shoulders and back. but he is big, much bigger than you, so you decide that wrapping them around his neck is good enough.

"you came." you exhale into his ear.

"don't i always?" yunho has to peel you away from him, and you whine as a protest. but the way his lips lose the playful curve and his eyes become serious make you bite your tongue as a punishment. regret washes over your features, and yunho is quick to grab your chin with his hand, pressing his thumb on your bottom lip. "be good." he warns.

"yes, sir."

and it's all it takes for yunho to soften again, taking you in his arms and standing up. "take the juice for me."

with one hand you hold onto his neck, making it easier for him to carry you, and with the other grab the glass of iced tea from the nightstand. as if it's hard for him to carry you; he is so strong you must be light as a feather to him. without questioning him, you relax in his hands, until you feel him sit and set you on his lap. a blanket is placed over your bare legs, enough to keep you warm as you sit in the hanging chair next to the window. the man takes the juice from your hand, setting it on the window next to the sketch pad. he doesn't ask about it yet, not wanting to pry unless you tell him yourself. he is happy you've returned to your little hobby.

"are you cold?" he asks, cupping your cheeks and then hands to check the warmth. when you shake your head, he presses a kiss to your forehead, lips a plush cloud against your skin. "my pretty girl."

you only smile as a response, still recovering from your sleep.

"you've been busy today." he notices the rearranged watch collection on the shelf below the television. the plants are refreshed, the once sagged leaves now proudly sticking up. "tell me about your day, bunny."

it wasn't unusual for yunho to sit you in his lap and ask about your day. in fact, it was your favourite part of the day. the way he listens and looks at you with his pretty eyes, nodding along to your never-ending sentences, and those unfinished ones that get interrupted with a fresh thought that you will forget if you don't say it immediately, scolding you and playfully pinching your thigh when you stop yourself mid talking and apologize for being annoying. yet lately, yunho doesn't come as often. what was once an every day routine was now a once a week occurrence. even then, he'd come and check on you, laid with you until you fell asleep, then sneaked off and disappeared into the night.

you hated it. you felt stupid, and lied to. he'd convince you that he left just before you woke up, that he stayed the whole night. but he didn't know that you felt his absence the moment he stood up from the bed. there wasn't much you could do anyway. as if he would listen. yunho is as stubborn as he is handsome. insanely.

"i vacuumed, mopped, cleaned out the fridge and threw out the expired products, put on fresh bedsheets, swept the balcony, watered the plants, rearranged your watch and game collection." you listed, head resting in the crook of his neck and eyes fixed on the ceiling. then, you stopped. and so did yunho's soothing circles on your thigh as he held your body close to his. you swallow, thinking of ways to continue before he can sense the shift in your behaviour. "i turned the tv on, watched you. you were very handsome today, yunho."

yunho hums, and for a moment, you relax and almost sigh with relief. the hand that doesn't hold you cups your cheek, pulling your head away from the crook of his neck and resting it on his shoulder so he can look at you. "who was at the door?"

your blood runs cold in your veins. yunho knows you like the back of his hand, and the flaw is in you for not knowing it well by now. you swallow slowly, eyes still locked with his dark ones, not daring to look away. "a man." you know better than to lie.

"what did he look like?" he presses, tone still calm. and it sends shivers down your spine. it is like the calm before the storm.

"i didn't see. i promised i'd never look."

"then how do you know it was a man?" the dark haired man tilts his head, raising his eyebrow.

before answering, your remind yourself that you are telling the truth, and that you should be calm. "he yelled your name."

"and what did my little doll do?" his hand drops from your cheek to your neck, slender fingers lightly grazing the skin just under your jaw before they completely wrap around the neck. the touch is gentle and soothing.

"i ran to the bedroom and hid under the covers. i was quiet, i promise." you are quick to offer him your pinky as a proof. but he simply shakes his head, then presses his lips to your temple.

"good girl."

the grip on your neck goes from light and loose to tight, growing stronger with yunho pressing the sides of it and making you look at him with confusion. "what-?"

your eyes widen as his grip intensifies, ridding you of oxygen slowly and already making you gasp for air. "if..." he starts, face close to yours. so close that his warm breath washes over your paling face, and lips barely brush against yours. "...you ever open the door, or even look through the window while somebody is there... you hear me?" his voice is a mere whisper against your mouth. you nod frantically, hoping that he releases you if you showed obedience. "yeah? i'll kill you."

"ye-es..." you choke out, tears spilling down your cheeks. small hands wrapping around his big one in hopes of stopping him, but to no avail.

"i didn't catch that." he presses further. "do you understand? if you ever think of getting out of here, or even manage to escape somehow, i will hunt you down and kill you."

you stop fighting back, instead opting for nods and silent tears. "i understand."

"if i can't have you..." he takes a look at your squirming and crying state one more time, then finally releases you. "...no one can."

a sob leaves your lips, and your hands are quick to reach your mouth, hoping that he didn't hear or at least sees your remorse.

but yunho doesn't say anything. instead, he pulls you close to him, his clothed body warming up your half naked one. "it's okay." he coos. "it's over."

"was i good?" you dare ask. you need to know that you didn't ruin what you built with him. that he didn't lose his trust in you. that he won't leave you alone for a month again in this place.

"you were perfect."

and that's all you need to hear to be calm. the peach juice waters down on the window as yunho lightly swings the hanging chair, lulling you to sleep with his voice and kisses to your cheeks and forehead.

the next time you open your eyes, you are angry and throw a tantrum. the sheets are on the floor, as well as pillows, and if yunho found you acting this way, he wouldn't be very pleased. but you are getting tired of him putting you to sleep and sneaking off. the mornings where you woke up next to him are long gone. your heart aches for those days.

there is only so much mess you can make with your wrists tied, so you give up on letting your frustration out on the faultless objects. with the fluffy blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you make your way to the living room and slump against the cushions on the couch. only after sitting up straight do you notice a small paper bag and a fresh glass of peach iced tea. the pink cursive writing on the bag makes your eyes almost sparkle from joy. it's been a while since yunho has brought you something from the bakery you absolutely adored.

you don't bother with keeping the bag, instead ripping it in half and using it as a plate for the sweet treat. two eclairs: a pink one and a green one. raspberry and pistachio, just how you used to eat in the mornings with him. he'd get the pistachio for himself, and raspberry for you. and you always wanted a bite of his, and then regretted your raspberry one because his tasted better. and he was always happy to exchange it with you.

not once did he complain about you always ordering the same and regretting it. not once did he refuse to let you have a bite. not once did he say no when you wanted to switch with him. not once did he bring two pistachio eclairs. and you might've become spoiled because of things like that, and even though both of you knew it, none of you said anything about it, because you were both equally guilty. you for pushing him, and him for indulging.

but it worked. it always did. that's why you aren't sure why yunho has suddenly distanced yourself from him. you're trying to be good for him, take care of yourself for him, even go as far as leaving windows open as a sign that you could run away if you wanted to, but you won't. at least that's what you liked to think. deep down you knew that yunho would find you even if you dug yourself a grave and hid under a fake tombstone. he'd find you, and then... you don't want to think about it.

but you have no reason to run. he takes care of you. you are his little doll, and your only task is to be pretty and obedient. but lately, you only have to do that two or three times a month. the rest of the days you die of boredom, cleaning the place, rearranging the fridge, turning the furniture around so that the place looks different and fresh. you are running out of ideas.

now, as you flip through the channels on the television, you are working up the courage to tell him how bored you are. maybe ask for netflix or disney. you are tired of watching the same youtube content over and over again. you can feel your brain rotting as you try to keep up with the recent famous youtubers. a movie would've been more educational at least.

as you eat the pink eclair, you scroll on the phone yunho has gifted you recently, with a promise of you not texting or calling anyone else but him. he can track your activity, and has limited your access to certain sites and apps, which leaves you with a few games that don't require network and a music app. it helped with your boredom, but nothing will ever be as interesting as having him around.

your fingers work faster than your brain, and you end up entering the one and only conversation on the screen.

doll: you left :(

it was always schrödinger's cat with him. he will either get mad at you - like yesterday - or indulge in your whiny and pouty behaviour as he secretly enjoys it. the one way to find out is by opening the box - text him.

yunho: my schedule is packed, sweetheart. you know that.

doll: when will i be a part of your schedule?

yunho: don't push it

doll: but i miss you so much

doll: can i please please please call you? pretty please? just for a minute?

on the other side of the screen, at the other end of the city, yunho sighs. it seems you've become more impatient and needy lately, and he knows he is at fault. you wait for him all dolled up, only to fall asleep because he always arrives so late. then, you talk for a while, and he lulls you to sleep before he has to run back to his dorm.

he taps on the phone icon in the corner of the screen after checking whether anyone is paying attention to him in the dressing room. he is the last in line to get dressed, which gives him more than a minute that you asked for so nicely. he can't say no to you. not when he misses you too. but he'd never say it to you out loud.

you pick up after the first ring, and yunho can almost hear the wide smile as you greet him. "yunnie!"

"hi, sweetheart." his heart swells at your still raspy voice. you must've just woken up. "did you have breakfast yet?"

"i only ate the raspberry one."

"oh you naughty little-" yunho purses his lips. "so the pistachio is only good if it's taken away from me, huh?"

"maybe. i took a bite. it's really not as sweet as when i steal it from you." you playfully reply. "but, yunnie..."

"hmm?"

"i actually wanted to ask you something."

"ask away doll. what can i do for you?"

"next time you come over..." you hesitate before continuing. "would you bring me a book or something? pretty please? i get bored when you're not around."

"oh." yunho says, surprised at the odd request. he didn't know what he was expecting. perhaps that you'd ask him if he'd untie you. or something that he surely wouldn't allow. but he forgot how perfect and loyal you are to him, and how much he has lowered your standards. "of course. anything specific?"

"not really. you pick!" you are so happy that you'll get a book that you don't even care which one it is. "no scary ones, please."

the dark haired man chuckles into the phone. in the corner of his eye, he notices the group leader eyeing him as he gets dressed. yunho's smile drops, and he is forced to end the conversation. "i'll see you soon. don't go late to bed tonight. you need your beauty sleep."

"oh. leaving already?" he hears you pout. he'd give anything to playfully tug your bottom lip right now. "alrighty then. i'll go back to missing you until you come again. which is, what, in a week?"

"be good for me." he orders sternly. "no sassing me. and no tantrums."

"no tantrums."

"and no sassing."

"and no sassing, blah blah."

"dollie. i'm serious." he turns around so that his back faces hongjoong. the older man has taken a great interest in yunho's conversation. "be a good bunny for me."

"yes, yunho."

"good."

just before he lowers his phone to hang up, he hears your faint voice. a mere whisper, which he wasn't supposed to hear. but he did. "i love you, yunnie."

and it fucking shatters him and ruins him inside out.

"dumb little doll." he sighs, looking at the wallpaper of the chat of you dressed in his favourite outfit with two pretty ribbons attached to your hair.

jeong yunho didn't expect his schedule to end so early. tomorrow is monday - his day off. technically, his time off starts now, as he steps into the library at the great city mall. and he makes the most of it. a basket securely hangs from his hand, already halfway filled with books with eye-catching covers and interesting plot summaries on the back. you'll love these, no doubt. and even if you don't, yunho won't hesitate to come back and buy more.

he forgot how dull it is for you to stay in that apartment all day and all night. the least he can do is help you find another hobby while he is not there with you. though, he is working on being less absent. but no matter how much he tries, his work schedule seems to track his brain, because they love swamping him with new interviews and variety shows every time he even thinks of having time off. this time he will be careful not to complain much around the staff about his free time.

at the same time as him, someone reaches for the last book he had his eyes on. it was this month's bestseller, all over tiktok, and he needed to buy it. but so did the person next to him, because they held onto it and weren't planning on letting go any time soon. yunho sighs. he truly isn't in the mood for this right now.

just as he gets ready to scold the person, he notices that it is a woman. a young one. a pretty one. so instead of angry words he was ready to spew, yunho simply smiles. "hi."

"hello," she greets back. "my, you've got good taste."

both of them glance at the basket in his hand. the basket that is meant for you. yunho's smile quickly fades, replaced by a serious face and confusing the woman in the process. "it's for my girlfriend."

"oh." disappointment is evident in her voice. she lets go of the book, then opts to look at the shelves instead of the man so she can hide her frown. "well, she'll be very happy with that book."

"she will." yunho smiles to himself, imagining your excited face as you go through the books.

"you must love her very much. that is a lot of money in that basket-"

"that is none of your concern." his brows are furrowed when he looks at the blonde woman. what is it with love talk today?

"oh. you don't love your girlfriend?" she is confused once again.

her confusion is then replaced by fear, caused by yunho who grabs her by the neck and slams her against the shelves. "take your little book and mind your own fucking business. got it?"

he shoves the book into her hands. the woman nods frantically, eyes glossy with tears and hands shaking as they hold the book. finally, yunho lets go of her. the book is dropped on the ground, and she bolts for the door. only then does yunho realize what he has done. but there is nothing he can do about it. thankfully, he wears his mask. he gets to keep his job another day.

yunho spends more time at the mall than he intended. three hours later, he is finally putting the key in the lock and entering his apartment. you jump at the familiar sound, and he hears your footsteps all the way from the bedroom. he sets the bags on the floor just in time to catch you into a hug.

"hi, doll." he coos. you only hum in response, burying your head into the crook of his neck and inhaling the faint traces of his perfume. he smells of vanilla and musk, with a hint of sweat. and you love every bit of it. nuzzling your nose against the sensitive area on the neck right under his ear, you can't help but sigh with content. yunho chuckles, before lightly squeezing your sides as a sign to let go of him.

you do so, without whines or tantrums this time. he wasn't supposed to come for another week, and he has graced you with the sudden visit. and you will make sure he doesn't regret it.

"i want you to go to the bathroom and freshen up while i prepare something." he orders with a kiss to your forehead.

"yes, yunnie." you obey, already on your way to the bathroom.

it doesn't take you more than ten minutes to take a quick body shower, put on a new comfy sleep dress, and put your hair in a hair clip how he likes it. you almost skip through the hallway, the cold autumn air chasing your bare legs until you reach the bedroom where yunho hides. but when you open the door, he isn't there. only a few paper bags on the bed, and a box with a bow on top and small holes poked on the sides.

not sure if you can touch without him, you opt for sitting on the bed and waiting patiently for him. while he is gone, you glance at your chipped nail polish. you should've asked him for polish remover instead. you accidentally spilled it when you foolishly tried to multitask by watching television and painting your nails. does yunho notice things like that? will he say anything about it? what if you just paint over it? will it look bad?

your thinking is interrupted by the tall man entering the bedroom, with two glasses in his hands. one with whisky, and one in similar colour to it. you know it's your iced tea; its sweet scent envelops the room as soon as he sets it on the nightstand.

"my patient doll." he praises with a kiss to your head. his fingers find their spot under your chin, raising your head so that you look up at him. his other hand reaches for your hair that you have neatly pulled back into the hair clip. with a single motion, his finger hooks into a few strands of it, setting them free from the clip and letting them frame your face. "so pretty."

if you could physically melt on the bed right there and then, you would. the way yunho looks at you makes your brain mushy, and your legs weak. after all this time, he still has that effect on you.

"i got you something." he motions for you to stand up, then sits down and pulls you into his lap. your back rests against his chest as his does against the bed frame. you sit cross-legged, making space for the bags so you can reach them easier. he takes the box first, pulling it between his legs that hold you securely and in front of you. "go on, open it."

all the hesitation is gone as soon as he gives the green light. the bow is shoved aside, and so is the lid. a gasp leaves your mouth at the sight.

two light brown ears perk up at the newfound light, and soon enough, a snout peeks out of the box. it sniffs, and sniffs, until it gets the courage to climb out of the box and flips it over, trapping itself under it. yunho removes the box and throws it on the floor, causing both the animal and you to jolt lightly. then, he takes the almost hand sized rabbit in his hand, holding it for you to take.

"it's a rabbit."

"yes, love. it's a rabbit." he confirms.

"it's so cute."

"i know." he kisses your cheek. "a bunny for a bunny. now you'll have a little companion when i'm away."

you carefully take it in your hands, testing the waters. it is pure fluff in your hands, as soft as yunho's hair after a shower. a little ball of fur with two big eyes and big floppy ears. and it is all yours.

"what will you name her?"

"dawn." you have your answer ready.

yunho laughs fondly. "dawn?"

"it's my favourite part of the day." yunho then remembers you telling him how much you prefer sunrises over sunsets. sunsets make you sad. they mark the end of the day. and you hate when things end. dawn brings a fresh day, and the sun is as pretty when it rises as it is when it sets. "thank you, yunho. i love it."

"don't thank me, love. you deserve more than that for being so obedient for me. now go through the rest of the presents. i'll keep your bunny safe while you do it."

"uh..." you look at your tied wrists.

he manages to untie the knot with a single hand, keeping the rope in it and playing with it while you start digging through the bags. with each book you pull out you let out a squeal of excitement. if it weren't for yunho, you would've stayed up all night reading.

but he had other plans once you finished exploring, taking your hand in his and pulling you back into his lap. the bunny is fast asleep on the pillow next to him, making you his main point of attention. the last book is still in your hands, fingers flipping through illustrated pages of the limited edition and eyes gawking at it. the smell of whisky fills your nostrils, and you look up and find him taking a sip.

"what does it taste like?" you wonder.

yunho doesn't answer. instead, he brings the glass to your mouth, pressing the edge against your lips. "small sip. a tiny one."

you listen, keeping your lips closed so that only a small amount of liquid can pass through. something about this is so intimate: him holding you in his lap as you wear your sleep dress, a book in your hands, making you drink from his glass, not breaking eye contact as you do so.

and yunho's view is to die for. you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, completely under his control and trusting him. your lips finally touch the whisky, and tongue barely peeks to taste it. you pull away, shutting your eyes and pursing your lips in disgust. "eugh."

yunho laughs, then downs the glass before putting it on the nightstand. "let's stick to your peach iced tea, hm?"

you nod in response. then, yunho finds the second light switch above the bed frame, turning it off. the moon is almost full, resting its silver rays on the bed and lighting up yunho's face. you'll never get over how insanely handsome he is. he is almost unreal. sometimes you even ask yourself whether he is a fruit of your imagination from staying alone for so long. no man you've met was this majestic: with hair as black as a raven, eyes dark and shiny as a starry night, porcelain skin, pretty nose with a little bridge where he rests his glasses, and oh, the prettiest pink lips. many times you've found yourself gazing upon his lips as he spoke or ate. and many times you wanted to close the distance as he held you on his lap while he read something or simply scrolled on his phone.

but you can't. yunho doesn't like being touched. at least that's what you gathered from the way he jumps when you try to remove a fallen eyelash from his cheek or straighten a sticking strand of hair. yunho gets very jumpy if you even hug him without warning. and you like to think that he is like that with everyone. that you aren't the issue.

but no matter how he behaves towards you, whether he is distant or can't keep his hands off you, he is still royally beautiful.

"thank you, love. you're not bad yourself."

blush creeps up your cheeks. you didn't mean to say it out loud. but yunho doesn't mind, and instead pulls a cover over both of you and sets the book aside. your legs are cold against his warm ones, still clothed. "won't you change?"

"i'm too lazy." he admits.

"can i change you?" you offer, sitting up and leaning on your elbows.

yunho smiles, eyes still closed. "i'd like to see you try."

in no time, you find his dark blue silk pajamas. that's the easy part. the hard part is yet to come. yunho is strong, and heavy. and big. blush warms up your cheeks once again as your hands find the hem of his turtleneck. he looks dashing in the tight turtlenecks and slacks. but right now, you'd rather see him comfortable. he deserves it after all the hard work.

he only helps you by raising his hands and head in the air just enough for you to pull the top off. you drink in the sight of his muscles, while his torso is covered by an undershirt. you pull the pajama top over his head, then his arms, and finally fix the collar. your eyes then fall on his belt. swallowing thickly, your fingers unbuckle it, and it causes yunho to grab your hands and stop you.

"i'll do it."

"what? why?" you're disappointed.

"i'll do it faster. i'm getting pretty sleepy, we should go to bed."

no amount of pouting convinces him to let you continue. he is out of his slacks and into the pajama bottoms in no time, giving you no time to sulk on the bed. he scoops you in his arms, throwing the fuzzy blanket over both of you.

"good night, bunny."

"whatever." you mumble into his chest.

the hand that rests on your lower back sinks to your bottom, pinching it lightly. you squeal, jolting away from his hand and further into his body. "behave."

"sorry." your voice is a mumble again. "yunnie?"

"go to sleep."

"but yunho." you whine, fingers playing with the buttons of his top.

he sighs. "yes?"

"what am i to you?"

that yunho cannot answer. simply because he has worked so hard on the relationship you two have. if he tells you, he might ruin the illusion. and you might remember. you might remember that it is not normal to be tied up and locked in a stranger's apartment. after all, you don't know the true him. that makes him a stranger to you. he has ridden you of any desire you had to escape, and instead made you depended on him. he has destroyed you, scared you so bad to the point that you started seeing a friend in him. he doesn't know whether you woke up one day and accepted your fate and decided to play along with his sick and twisted games of emotions and obsession, or simply had a switch in your brain click and made you the way you are right now. a loyal and obedient little pet for him to gawk at, dress up however he wishes, and keep locked away where nobody can find it.

he knows it's not normal. he knows his sins. and he knows that behind the loving eyes you give him that there is hate pushed down so deep, scared to make an appearance. he has pushed it there with his own actions. he also knows that just because he recognizes his flaws doesn't make him less guilty. moreover, it makes him even more evil. he knows, yet he doesn't stop.

he wishes he can, really. he wishes he can untie you, let you go, live a normal life, find a girlfriend, stop sneaking out of his dorm at late hours and return at early ones. hell, he could've asked you out on a date instead of putting his hand over your pretty mouth behind the concert stadium and drag you into his car. but then everybody would see you. somebody might even want to take you away from him. and yunho can't allow that. you are his to see, his to touch and his to keep.

you belong to him, heart and soul.

"does it matter?" his voice comes out as annoyed, but it doesn't affect you.

"a little." you admit. "you don't kiss me, but you give me affection other ways. what does that make us?"

it makes you my prisoner, and me your captor. you just don't know it yet. or maybe you've grown blind to it. maybe i've broken your perception of how things actually are. maybe i've convinced you that this all is normal.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have asked." you notice how tense he is under your touch. "good night."

but yunho doesn't want to leave you without an answer. he kisses your temple, then your cheek, and finally, your ear. his lips stay there, brushing against the sensitive ear shell as his warm breath tickles you. "you're mine. that's all that matters."

"are you mine?" you ask.

yunho sighs, pulling you closer to him and completely wrapping his arms around your shivering body. "good night, doll."

you wake up in a cold and empty bed again. excluding the curled up rabbit next to you.

and you are furious.

blinded by rage, you reach for your phone, not even noticing that your hands are still untied. usually he'd tie them up while you are halfway asleep or completely asleep as to not disturb you. before you can press the call button next to his name, the bathroom door opens, revealing the man you were about to scold. he has discarded his sleep top, leaving him only in bottoms and a sleeveless undershirt.

"thought i heard you wake up." he smiles. "come, let's get you ready for the day. i let you sleep in enough."

the phone is forgotten in the blanket, and your legs carry you into the bathroom. he has a toothbrush in his mouth, and his hair is a fluffy mess. you love when he looks this soft. he is less intimidating. not that you are scared of your yunho. he wouldn't hurt you. only if you give him a reason to.

noticing your bare feet on the cold tiles, the man picks you up and places you on the counter near the sink. he hands you your own toothbrush after he squirts the paste on it. comfortable silence swallows the small bathroom, the only sounds being the teeth brushing and yunho's light humming to a song as he stands between your legs that hang from the counter, swinging along with yunho's song. his hand rests comfortably on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin below the dress.

you've noticed he loves your thighs. to touch them, to pinch them and caress them. and you don't mind. in fact, you love that he can't get his hands off you. it makes you feel attractive. you hope you are attractive to him. sometimes it doesn't feel like that. you look at him with loving eyes, and he... he looks at you like you're his most prized possession. you're just an eye candy. a doll he comes to play with and dress her up just to feast his eyes. perhaps the fault is in you. you don't attract him enough. it could be your appearance. you should switch from the comfy silk sleepwear he has gifted you in every colour so you can be comfortable around the house into something more appropriate and mature. or maybe it was your behaviour. you are so depended on him that you often end up feeling extremely childish.

yet he insists that he loves doing everything for you. he loves to see you in the pastels. he loves when you ask him for help. and he loves making you ask for help by closing the jars too tight, or putting the glasses on the top shelves where you can't reach even if you climb on a chair.

"hey." his finger playfully taps your nose, noticing you have stopped brushing. "where did you go?"

you shake your head, ridding your brain of the thoughts for a while. "sorry. were you saying something?"

"i said," he takes the toothbrush from your hand and continues brushing your teeth for you, holding your jaw in his palm and head in place, then continues talking, "we have a busy day ahead of us."

"sho... you're shtaying all day?" you mumble with foam in your mouth.

"i'm all yours today." he finishes brushing, then motions for you to spit in the sink. you do so, earning yourself a playful pat on the head. "good girl."

"you have a little stubble." you notice, fingers reaching to touch the short hairs on his face. it is not often that yunho lets you touch him like that, so when your hand cups his cheek, you are surprised when he simply looks at himself in the mirror with furrowed eyebrows. he doesn't remove your hand, and you savour every second of it.

"suppose i do. i should shave it off." the man runs both toothbrushes under the warm water, then sets them in the cup next to each other. his dark blue one with black bristles is a funny contrast to your lavender one with white bristles. it's like they resemble the two of you. maybe that's why he bought them. "want to help me?"

"help you?" you raise your eyebrow. he doesn't answer. instead, he hands you his razor, showing you how to properly hold it. while he smears the shaving foam on his face, you can't help but take secret glances at his exposed arms. he notices, then looks down at his undershirt.

"right, i should probably take this off." with one single motion, the fabric lands on the floor and he steps on it. you are left gawking at his bare torso. he doesn't usually undress in front of you. this is the first time you see his defined body. he looks absolutely dashing, and the sight makes your stomach feel fuzzy. you instinctively try to close your legs, but forget that he is standing right between them. "come closer."

you are now sitting on the edge of the counter, and if it weren't for yunho's hands holding your thighs and keeping your body steady, you would've kissed the cold tiles below his feet. he guides one of your hands to his face, then lets you figure it out on your own. you hesitate. "what if i cut you?"

"well... try not to, i guess." he shrugs. "i want to be pretty for you too. just as you do for me."

as gentle as possible, you swipe the razor over his cheek. it leaves a smooth trail behind, without any red lines or spots. little by little, your smooth faced yunho appears, and so does a smile on your lips. with one final swipe, you finish, not cutting him once in the process. "all done!"

"good job, bunny." he praises with a kiss to your forehead. "come on now, let's get you dressed. as i said, we have a busy day ahead of us."

when yunho said busy, you thought he meant cleaning the house or helping him with something. not standing in line at an amusement park with your hands untied. you haven't been outside in forever, if you exclude the balcony. today, yunho has decided to surprise you with a trip to an amusement park. he looks comfortable and fresh, wearing a simple black t-shirt with black ripped jeans, a leather jacket and sneakers. beside him, you are dressed up in his hoodie and his sweatpants, and his denim jacket. somehow, your clothes have been disappearing little by little, leaving you with only sleepwear. does it have anything to do with the fact that he likes to see you in the pastel sets he keeps bringing over instead of actual clothes? no, of course not.

yunho did make you promise him a few things before exiting the house:

no distancing yourself from him

no talking to other people

no looking at other people

no going anywhere without asking him first

no yelling each other's names

keep the sunglasses on your face

have your phone in your hand at all times in case anything happens and one of you needs to get a hold of each other.

and you happily agree. you wouldn't do the opposite even if he didn't make you promise all those things. yunho is all you have, and without him, you'd be overwhelmed and lose yourself. the place is enormous, everything shining bright into your eyes and looking the same. no wonder people get lost there all the time. or perhaps you're just used to the dark apartment that seems to be getting smaller and smaller each day you wake up.

"what would you like to do?" he asks once he shows the tickets at the entrance and guides you inside.

"me?" you are confused. "i- i don't know."

"we have two hours to have fun. we'll do whatever your heart desires."

"really?"

the eyes you give him as you look at him all excited is the reason yunho has you all to himself. those same eyes that have looked at him from the first row at the concert, and he could not look away. you smiled so bright at him when he gave you attention, and when he saw you outside of the stadium, he knew he had very little time. and he knew he had to take you for himself. you were so sweet, and so pretty. simple things excite you, and the sight of you almost beaming is what warms yunho's heart. then, he starts to think that he might've made a mistake by bringing you here. someone could see you, and take you away from him.

no. he will not allow it. he'd rather kill you than let anyone else have you. and that's a promise he made to himself the first night he tied the pretty knots on your wrists.

"yunnie...?" your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

"hm?" he brings his attention back to you. your eyes have lost the excited glint, and are now filled with worry. his sudden serious face must've scared you. "right. what did you want to do?"

"can i try that?" you point towards a stand.

yunho isn't surprised when he turns around to see big stuffed animals hanging from the stand, and multiple small ones arranged on the shelves against the wall behind the vendor. "do you want to play by yourself?"

"can i?"

"you may."

you roll your eyes at his correction. but before he can scold you for it, you squeeze his hand and drag him to the stand. the game seems simple enough: three balls to throw, and three pyramids of different objects to topple. yunho pays the vendor, then stands aside and lets you focus.

"go pink koala." you whisper, keeping the balls close to your chest. you don't miss yunho's chuckle from the side. "hush! i'm concentrating."

but no amount of concentrating got you the big stuffed koala. even yunho was getting irritated as time passed by. not with you, but with the vendor. "are you kidding me?"

you stop mid throw, eyes darting to the tall man in fear. you haven't done anything wrong. ...have you?

"you're telling me that those plastic cups didn't budge?" he approaches the counter.

the vendor shrugs. "are they down?"

"well, no-" yunho starts.

"oh so you aren't blind. just stupid."

oh no.

you can almost hear yunho's blood boil beside you. your hands instinctively wrap around his arm, hugging it to your body. "yunnie."

"step back." he orders.

and you do, letting go of him. to anyone looking, that would've seem mean and horrible. but you know why he told you to stay away. he doesn't want to hurt you.

"you're telling me," yunho takes a ball from your hand, "that this ball," he aims for the vendor, "didn't even budge those plastic cups?" and hits him right in the forehead.

when yunho is loud, you aren't as scared. it is when he is calm that you are terrified. and right now? he is as calm as the stuffed animals sitting on the shelves behind the man who holds his forehead. yunho crouches to the floor, enough to pick up a ball sized stone. he aims for the first pyramid of plastic cups, and throws with such strength that it manages to bring them down. he takes a second one and does the same with the glass bottles, breaking them and sending shards flying everywhere. the third rock hits the clay mug at the bottom of the pyramid, causing it to ruin the balance of the rest of them and fall to the ground with a crashing sound.

"okay, okay!" the short vendor is desperate. "take the fucking prize and leave my stand!"

"with pleasure." yunho smiles with satisfaction. you don't have time to look at him in awe because he picks you up on his back and approaches the hanging stuffed animals. "go on, angel. help yourself."

your hands know where to go, immediately grabbing the pink koala that is half your size. when yunho doesn't set you down, you look at with a raised eyebrow.

"that's all you want?"

"i can take more...?" your eyes dart between the terrified vendor and an amused yunho.

"we can take the vendor if you want."

you're not sure what is funnier:, yunho's laid back attitude or the vendor's face. in one thing you are sure: you are taking that big grey elephant.

if someone had told you yesterday that today you'd freely walk around outside with yunho by your side, both carrying a big stuffed animal that made every child passing by jealous, you'd say ha, i wish. if someone had told you that today you'd hold hands with yunho as you pass by various stands and he offers to buy you anything from it, you'd say ha, you're crazy. and if someone told you that after a rollercoaster and a haunted house yunho would take you to the ferris wheel and demand that the cabin isn't to be shared with anyone, you'd say ha, your imagination is wild.

yet here you are, sitting inside the cabin high on the ferris wheel, stuffed animals sat across from you and leaning against each other. yunho sits by your side, a cup of chocolate chip ice cream that you have picked just before getting in line in his hand. there was a no food allowed sign, but yunho would rather fight the teen boy in charge of checking tickets than see your disappointed face again when you read the sign. luckily, a single glare from yunho was enough to stop the boy mid sentence as he read it out loud.

"i can feed myself you know." you pout as he brings the plastic purple spoon to your mouth. he specifically asked for that colour.

"i know." he simply replies.

"then... may i?" you reach for the paper cup, but he pulls it away. "please?"

"why?" he brings the spoon to his mouth once it starts melting off it as to not stain your - his - clothes. you blush furiously, the thought of eating off the same spoon as him making your stomach fuzzy. "i like to pamper you. besides, dolls need maintaining."

"they also need to be played with more often." you cross your arms over your chest.

he doesn't respond, instead offering you another spoonful of ice cream. you are distracted by his piercing gaze, unable to look away. it leads to you almost missing the spoon, making most of the ice cream land on your lips rather than between them. and it's like something switches inside of him. his gaze drops from your eyes to your lips, and his hands set the cup down.

"do you have a napkin? i'm a mess-" you start licking your lips. before you can wipe the rest with the sleeve of the hoodie, yunho stops you by grabbing your wrists with one hand and looking deeply into your eyes, just before pushing you down on the seats with his other one on your chest so that you are laying with him on top. "what- what are you doing?"

"stay still." his voice is a mere whisper, a warm breath against your face. you gulp, a little louder than you intended. but he doesn't laugh. his face doesn't change. it is dead serious, with his brown eyes becoming as dark as his raven hair. his pupils are so diluted that they give the illusion of turning black. and you're not sure whether it is good or bad in this situation. "dollie..."

you lay perfectly still. the wheel has stopped, letting the visitors enjoy the view and take pictures. yunho, however, couldn't care less. not when he has you pinned down below him, hair beautifully splayed out, cheeks pink with blush, and eyes shiny and curious. and that damn ice cream on your bottom lip. he closes his eyes, then leans his forehead against yours. his nose gently brushes against yours, sending shivers down your spine and almost making you shudder. that, along with the way his one hand effortlessly holds both your wrists pressed into the leather seats has you seeing stars.

"fuck," he sighs against your lips. "fuck, what are you doing to me?"

"did i do something wrong?" the question is genuine.

"no, no." he shakes his head. "no. you're perfect. you're gorgeous. you're everything a man could ever want. you're everything i want."

he pulls away for a split second, eyes roaming your face for any signs of discomfort. when he doesn't see any, he licks his lips, then gulps.

"you're making me weak." his voice is velvet in your ears, gentle and soothing. his free hand moves the loose strands of hair out of your face, caressing your cheek in the process and continuing the path to your jaw to cup it. "and you don't even know it."

his plush lips capture your bottom one between them, tongue swiping across it to lick the ice cream off. you shudder beneath him, body arching off the seats and finding comfort against his warm chest. his hand lets your wrists go, as well as your jaw, only to find their comfort on your waist. you've never done this. yet your hands seem to move so naturally towards his hair, fingers sneaking between the soft locks and gently massaging his scalp as he nibbles on your bottom lip. a rush of heat takes over your stomach and the space between your legs. the feeling so good and new, yet so empty. you need more of him. you crave him now more than ever.

when he pulls away, it is because he needs to catch his breath, and so do you. his lips have turned a darker shade, and are so inviting to touch. and you do so, allowing yourself a moment of braveness. digits reach for his plump lips, the touch so light that yunho's lashes flutter. he can't help the desire that takes over his body and mind, pinning you further against the seats with his body and squeezing your bare waist underneath the hoodie. "you're killing me."

"how?" you didn't mean for your voice to come out so... pathetically raspy. you clear your throat. "is that bad?"

yunho chuckles in between shallow breaths. "god, you're so precious."

his lips lock with yours once again, leaving small and gentle kisses on them. until your tongue shyly peeks out to try the waters and be smooth like him. and it sends him over the edge. it makes him sit up straight and pull your body with him so that you sit on his lap, legs spread and resting on each side of him. one of his hands snakes further underneath the hoodie and follows a trail up your spine, feeling up your bare skin that burns and shivers beneath his metal rings. yunho can't keep his hands to himself anymore. he kisses you deeply, with his tongue chasing yours and seeking for a taste of you.

you taste him too, enjoying the mix of the chocolate chip ice cream and him. and he tastes better than you've ever imagined. he is intoxicating, leaving you yearning for more each time he pulls away to breathe. your body responds to him, seeking the warmth of his and aching to be held and touched. you are touch starved, and he is at fault. he might be able to redeem himself. especially when his lips take a detour from yours and continue down your jaw and to your neck. his hot tongue swipes down it, following an imaginary line and lightly grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin.

"yunnie..." you wish to call his name, but it comes out as a breathy moan. "please."

yunho pulls away, gulping once again. "what?" he breathes out.

"i- i don't know." you admit. "i need something. i need you."

"doll." he warns. "you can't say things like that."

subconsciously, your bottom lip sticks out in disappointment. you already know that he will playfully tug at it. except this time, he doesn't. he looks you with a gaze so intense that it makes you feel the smallest in the world. "sorry."

"love," the man sighs, regretting his tone. his hands cup your cheeks and bring your face close to his again, enough for him to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose. "i'd destroy you."

"what do you mean?" you should be scared. that can't mean any good, can it? just why are you squirming in his lap then, thighs aching to be pressed together and core burning up?

"oh, sweet little bunny." the realization hits him. you really are that sweet and innocent. "i just mean that..." he stops to think.

he won't be able to resist himself. and he doesn't want to hurt you. yes, he loves to see you cry. and yes, he has the twisted desire to see you split open on his cock as you cry and whine about how big he is, and how you can't fit him. to see pretty tears spilling down your cheeks as you enjoy the pain he inflicts on you, begging for more. he'd stop if you told him to, of course. he would never do anything to hurt you like that.

"you just mean that...?" you wake him up from his filthy fantasies.

his hands leave your body, only to rest on top of your hands which play with the zipper of his leather jacket. "i mean that you're not ready."

i just mean that i am not ready.

"you'll have to be a patient little doll. can you do that for me?" he tilts his head to properly look at you as your gaze is locked on his hands over yours. "angel?"

"yes."

"yes, what?"

"yes, yunnie."

"that's a good girl."

the wheel continues spinning, just when yunho gently removes you from himself and lets you sit on your own. all flushed and hair messy, you turn towards the windows, hoping to fix the situation while you pretend to look at the view and hide from his eyes. a click echoes in the cabin. then another, and another. you turn around to find yunho taking pictures of you from the opposite seats, a soft smile on his face as you try to hide into the hoodie.

"stop, i look horrible!"

"one more, come on." he approaches you, taking your jaw into his hand and making you look at him. he gets the perfect shot, your flushed face on full display, sitting so perfectly in his palm, with big eyes looking up at him. "perfect."

"my hair is a mess." you complain, hands struggling to fix the loose strands.

the dark haired man imitates your pout. "no pouting."

"i wasn't."

you jolt when his fingers tug on your bottom lip. he really loves doing that. "and no lying. you know how i feel about lying."

that you do. he hates lying more than anything. lies, white lies, being silent about things. it didn't matter. yunho hated it. your lips are too pretty to tell lies, he had told you once. truthfulness means a lot to him, and he appreciates it when it comes from you. "sorry."

seeing that he burst your bubble, he crouches in front of you, taking your hands in his and bringing them to his lips to leave a kiss on the back of each one. "i'll fix your hair when we get home. i promise."

the ride comes to an end, with yunho and you exiting last, each holding a stuffed animal. you walk beside yunho, content. you kissed him.

no, he kissed you.

yunho kissed you. it's everything you've ever desired for as long as you can remember. and it's better than you've imagined. his lips were indeed as soft as they looked, maybe even softer. his tongue a burning fire against yours, and hands molding your body like clay in his hold. you're feeling selfish, wishing for more. wishing that the wheel got stuck and left the two of you up there, continuing with the activity. as you look at his side profile - the one you can never get enough of looking at - you decide that you'll get more. you have to.

he has given you a taste, and you're already addicted.

"i need to use the restroom. sit here and wait for me." he places the stuffed elephant on a bench nearby, then the koala on the other end of it. he guides you so that you sit in between, occupying the bench and leaving no space for anyone else to sit. "i could just put you on my shelf and look at you all day long like this. stay here, got it?"

you're feeling foolish, having the whole bench to yourself. but what yunho says, you do. and you sit still, nodding your head playfully. "yes, sir!"

"i'll be right back. got your phone?"

"yes." you show it to him, secure in your hand.

"sunglasses?"

"on." you scrunch your nose, moving the sunglasses further up it.

"good. i'll be back in two minutes."

the feeling is strange. being outside, hands untied, a phone in your hand, and yunho not by your side. a light breeze caresses your hair, and the early setting autumn sun warms your face for one last time today. a once lost feeling creeps up on you, along with the fear of consequences. you've forgotten what it feels like. you've forgotten what free will is. you've forgotten what freedom is. and you haven't sought it for a very long time. and it haunts you, whispers in your ear, makes the hairs on your hands stand straight.

it lures you in.

it makes you stand up. take a step, then another. unsure at first, and a little wobbly. like you've forgotten how to walk without him. and then: you run.

you run through the crowd, around and behind the stands and tents, until your legs start to ache. you aren't used to this much cardio.

afraid that he might see you, you run into the nearest big tent. the entrance isn't the usual one, and you realize that somehow you've managed to sneak in through the exit. it takes a while for your eyes to get used to the dark. the place is poorly lit, with dark red lights illuminating the countless reflections that stare back at you. a mirror maze. out of all places you could've chosen.

you finally see your true form in the poorly lit mirror. hair a mess, face unrecognizable, wrists bruised. clothes that do not belong to you. and a pair of dark glimmering eyes that look at you from the shadows behind you.

"dollie."

how did he find you so quick? was he just testing you? testing your loyalty? did you even have a chance in running away? did you just let all that trust you built with him over the course of months or years fall into water?

but you won't let him catch you. and no amount of mirrors will stop you. you bolt for the exit, following the arrows on the floor that are upside down to you. you don't hear his footsteps behind you. perhaps it is your fear playing hallucinations on you. perhaps he is giving you a head start. or perhaps this tent was his plan too. for you to run in there, failing his test, and suffering consequences.

fear swallows you whole, causing your breathing to become shallow and fast, vision blurry, and legs and hands shaky. the faint red arrows aren't visible anymore, and you rely on putting your hands in front of you and touching your way out.

"i'm so disappointed with you, y/n."

no.

not the first name.

god, no. you can't do this again.

tears prickle your eyes, further blurring your vision. how could you have been so stupid? as if yunho is a fool. you've forgotten what he truly is. you've forgotten what you truly are. a prisoner, and its captor.

"i thought we were finally getting somewhere."

his voice is deeper than usual, echoing through the mirror maze. it makes you turn every few seconds, making sure that he isn't behind you, as if it wasn't enough to simply look at the mirrors in front of you. but your rising panic attack has your senses dull, and quickly you find yourself sobbing as you try to navigate through this torture labyrinth. every reflection is a punch to the gut, showing you your helpless frame and mocking you.

"you said you loved me."

he's close, then he isn't. you hear his footsteps, then you don't. and then, your eyes catch a glimpse of the tent's front opening up and closing. it's right there. just a few turns away. palms carelessly leave prints on the spotless mirror, and legs work hard to keeping your body up for just a little more. a few more turns. that's all you need to do.

a whiff of fresh air hits your face as you take a turn to the left, and you can smell the popcorn and cotton candy on the stands just outside the tent.

a hand is placed over your mouth, and another one around your waist, pulling you back harshly and colliding with another body. the feeling is all too familiar, repetitive even. nails desperately claw at his hands, but you know it's to no avail. you sob into his palm, tears streaming down your cheeks and continuing down his hand.

"you lied."

you are so stupid.

a light breeze caresses your cheeks. it is cold for your face, but your body seems to be warm and comfortable. even your hands. your eyelids peel open, and it takes a while to adjust to the dark. yunho's jacket covers your lap and hands, keeping you warm from the autumn breeze that enters through the rolled down window of his car.

yunho's jacket.

yunho's car.

yunho.

"no-" you gasp, jumping in the car seat.

yunho is quick to put a hand over your mouth. "hush. it's okay."

he doesn't keep it there long, removing it as fast as he touched you. he gives you time to look around and adjust to your surroundings. the first thing you notice is your hands, still untied, then, the street yunho is parked on. "what are we doing here?"

the man doesn't say anything. one of his elbows rests on his rolled down window, holding his head in his palm while his other hand plays with the lavender rope. you gulp, feeling the material on your wrists even though nothing is there. upon subconsciously rubbing your wrists, you notice that you don't wear his clothes anymore. you're wearing the clothes you thought were forever gone.

the concert outfit.

and the street? the street where you live. and your house at the end of it, the yellow trees preparing for winter and shedding their leaves.

"yunho...?"

he scoffs. "you never call me that."

you don't know what to say. you opt for silence, looking at your house in the distance and wondering why he has brought you here. then, you speak. "you kept my concert clothes."

"i kept all your things." yunho sighs, then reaches in the back seat to retrieve a backpack. the familiar scent of vanilla and whisky almost hugs you when he leans back to reach for it, his neck exposed and close to you. you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach. "here."

he opens it for you, revealing all of your belongings, including your phone. it is smashed, and it doesn't turn on.

"i had to make sure nobody could find you." he confesses. "there's an envelope with money for the new one in the backpack."

"i don't understand..."

"you can go."

you can... go?

he is letting you go? willingly? your gulp almost echoes in the car. legs frozen, and mind a mess, you remain seated. yunho doesn't look at you. he keeps his gaze locked on a tree by the sidewalk, monitoring the swinging branches and falling leaves.

"don't make me change my mind."

it feels odd. unnatural. as if you'll wake up soon. the strange thing is that recently you haven't dreamt of running away from yunho. even now, as he is openly offering you freedom. your bottom is firmly planted on the seat.

"that's it? just like that?" you dare ask.

"yep." he still doesn't look at you.

"you don't have anything to say?" you push further.

"if you think i'm going to apologize, i am not." his eyes finally lock with yours. and it still makes your stomach flutter. "you should really go."

you are overwhelmed - no, overstimulated - by feelings and thoughts. you are angry, and sad. months or years of this odd relationship with him, being in an apartment and not stepping foot outside, locked away from the world, cut off from the social sites, completely at his mercy. eating what he offers you and wearing what he buys you. having contact with him only. trying not to go crazy when spending multiple days alone, sometimes a month too. all because you did something that he didn't like and he was punishing you for it.

and he drops you off at your house. simple as that.

hesitantly, your hand reaches for the door handle after unbuckling the seatbelt, only to find it locked. a sigh leaves yunho's lips, and within seconds, the windows are rolled up and the car starts. "dumb bunny."

"what?"

yunho steps on the gas pedal. his hands grip the wheel with such force that it turns his skin pale. the speed of the car and sudden turns make your body toss around in it. the seatbelt uselessly hangs on the side. "dumb." he takes another turn. "fucking." and joins the traffic on the highway. "bunny."

"i'm sorry!" you choke out, hands frantically holding onto anything you can reach. breathing becomes a challenge as your eyes follow the way he skillfully overtakes other cars, going way past the speed limit. "yunho! yunho, please!"

"i gave you a chance to prove your loyalty. to see if you regret using the chance and running away from me at the park. to prove that you love me, like you said it." he seethes. "and you reached for the handle."

"you offered!"

"doesn't mean you should've taken the offer!" he yells back. his voice is animalistic, deep as he almost growls the words and loud, sending shivers down your spine and coating your body in sweat. he glances at you, enough to make you start trembling. his eyes are pitch black under the lack of lights on the highway and dilated pupils from anger. "you're mine, you hear me? mine!"

"slow down," you sob, "please."

"i told you once, doll. if i can't have you..." he takes a sudden turn, exiting the highway and continuing into the forest that surrounds it. he avoids trees, driving between them and scaring the animals away, until he finally stops in front of the lake that is hidden among the greenery that is now swallowed by the dark of the night. "nobody can."

a blood curling scream leaves your lips as your eyes meet your doom. yunho drives the car into the lake at full speed.

he doesn't exit. he stays inside with you, calmly looking ahead of him as the front of the car slowly starts sinking. his seatbelt holds him in place, while you are left tilted along with the vehicle. trembling hands reach for the man. even in this moment, you reach for him.

"yunho..." your voice is a mere whisper. "yunho, please."

"nobody can have you."

"they won't." you assure him.

"nobody can have you."

"i'm all yours."

"nobody can have you."

"please don't kill me."

brown eyes finally look at you. his gaze softens at your flushed and wet face. he has control over the situation. you just don't have to know that. this is where he wants you: begging him to spare your life, making sure to let you know that he is the only one you have. that he is all you need. and that there is no escape other than death from that. he would rather drown with you than let anyone else have you.

"i want to live." you beg.

you can't help but feel comfort when his hands cup your face. ringed fingers brush your tear stained cheeks, and he can't help but lean in and press his lips to a fresh one that started its journey down your rosy skin. "you'll live. with me."

yunho leans his forehead against yours. his warm breath caresses your lips - a bittersweet refreshment of your memory. how can a man kiss so softly, but touch so roughly?

"tell me you're mine."

a sneaky glance helps you determine the current danger of the situation. you still have time to exit through the trunk. but it all depends on yunho. if he has decided to not let you go, nobody can help you with it. "i'm yours."

"good girl."

the familiar feeling of rope is back on your wrists. you'd be lying if you said that it didn't bring you comfort. the outside world seemed scary enough for you to embrace being locked in. yunho isn't the reason. he only did what he had to do to put some sense back into you.

the red rope is tied into a complex heart between your wrists, and yunho gives it a tug to tighten it and restrain you. "there. all done."

"it's pretty." you compliment. you don't ask why the rope is red. you know. you get the red one each time you do a foolish thing, so that every time you see it, you are reminded of how you let him down. "thank you, yunnie."

to your surprise, he loosens it, enough to slip it off your wrists and not undo the knot. he stands up from the bed, then gently removes the sleeping rabbit from your lap and sets it on the floor in the hallway near the cage and food, before coming back and offering you his hand to stand up. you are still soaking wet from the lake, with his hoodie hanging around your waist to warm your legs. you accept it, standing up and leaving a wet spot behind on the sheets.

"i'm sorry."

yunho only smiles, pressing a kiss to the hand he holds, and guides you to the bathroom. "don't worry about it."

you are surprised at the sight once your bare feet step on the cold bathroom tiles. the bathtub is filled with steaming water, and a few candles are lit around it. your hand is abandoned by his for a moment, just enough for him to shuffle through one of the drawers near the sink. a towel awaits for you, neatly folded on the stool near the tub. your hands untie the hoodie around your waist, letting it fall with a splat. little by little, the heavy wet pieces of clothes form a pile on the ground. by the time yunho turns around, you are left in only your underwear, body shivering from the midnight breeze that sneaks in through the tilted window. yunho stops in his tracks, eyes falling on your exposed skin that is illuminated by the soft orange light of the candles.

"uh," his gaze drops on two packages in his hands. you feel a boost of confidence storming through your veins. "i got you these bath bombs. which one would you like?"

"you pick." you shrug.

yunho looks still avoids you, turning his back towards you and approaching the tub. his hands unwrap the light pink one, dropping it in the water and helping it dissolve faster by making circular motions with his fingers on the surface. he doesn't stop until the clear liquid becomes a milky white with a pastel pink hue, with rose petals floating on the surface. "milk and rose. you'll like it."

to your disappointment, he passes by you without sparing you a glance. you can't help the hand that reaches for his, fingers intertwining and eyes that have proved themselves useful many times. he flinches, as usual. but he doesn't let go. "stay." the word comes out in a whisper.

"doll." he warns. "be good and-"

his eyes widen when you climb on your toes and rest your hands on his shoulder, lips lightly ghosting over his. you don't touch them yet. not when his hands grab your waist, and not when a sigh leaves his lips and caresses yours. only then do you finally press them against his. fingers are eager to play with his hair on his neck, and body leans against his chest to seek warmth and comfort. and the brown eyed man gives it to you, pulling you into him so that your cold skin can rest against his burning one. you can feel him, even though there is a layer of material separating you.

when your tongue peeks out to swipe over his bottom lip, yunho pulls away. you can't help the whine that leaves your lips. "you're going to be the death of me." he sighs.

"will you stay?"

"and do what?" he tilts his head playfully. "watch you enjoy your hot bath while i freeze?"

"you could join me-"

"no." he firmly says. and just like that, all you've done with the kiss has fallen into the water. his hands abandon your body, only to find your clip that he has put there himself once he helped you out of the lake. your hair is still damp, and it falls loose when he takes the butterfly clip off. it was his favourite one. "go."

"but yunnie..."

"bunny."

"you won't see me naked." you finally say.

one of the rules with yunho was that you are not to see each other naked. even now, with only your underwear on, you were pushing it. yunho made sure to let you know that he doesn't want such things with you. you only need to sit pretty for him and be obedient.

"please? you can turn around while i undress and turn back when i get into the tub."

"you still haven't answered my question. what will i do while you enjoy your little bath?" he turns around, letting you free yourself from the damp underwear. they join the pile on the floor, right next to yunho. his eyes fall on the discarded panties, and he has to close his eyes and breathe in to keep his composure. you've come a long way from being too shy to ask for a glass of water.

"you promised you'd fix my hair."

once he hears the water gently splashing, he turns around. the water is murky, hiding your bare body from his hungry eyes. while you settle down in it, yunho wastes no time in getting a hairbrush and bringing the stool to the tub so that he is behind you and the only way you can face him is by leaning your head against the rim of the tub. he places a smaller towel on it so that your neck doesn't hurt while you lean back. "clever girl."

you fail to hide the proud smirk on your face. a sigh leaves your lips when yunho's fingers sink into your hair and massage your scalp. you can't believe that those same hands almost dragged you to death just two hours ago.

"stay still." his voice is a whisper. you haven't even realized that your head was leaning into his touch, dragging your body out of the water and exposing you just above your breasts. you sink back in, covered all the way to the shoulders. "good girl."

his voice has never sounded so husky and... deep. manly. a warm sensation pools at the bottom of your stomach, and seems to start bubbling and getting hotter when your fingers brush against your thighs. it is not the first time that yunho does your hair. he loves doing it. but something about him doing it right there and then had your mind spinning. you tilt your head back to glance at him. the sight is both cute and funny: yunho dressed in all black, with a serious and focused expression as he does the familiar braid in your hair, and a lavender scrunchy on his wrist. soon enough, he pulls that scrunchy off his wrist and ties your hair with it, then keeps it in his hand to play with it.

"my pretty girl." he coos. his other hand reaches to caress your cheek, and a smile spreads on his lips, seeing how your body immediately responds to his touch. you sigh in content, nuzzling your face further into his warm hand. "do you trust me?"

"yes," you respond, lost in the way his hand trails down your neck and grazes your collarbones. "yes, i do."

yunho hums. your braid is left to hang in the air while he reaches for something. you trust him. which is why you keep your eyes closed, not bothering to see what he is doing. a gasp leaves your lips when you feel something hot on your collarbones, and your eyes shoot open.

yunho holds a candle above you, tilting it so that hot wax drips on your body. the feeling is strange. the pain is there, yet it adds to the fuel between your legs. he sets the candle back on the flat rim of the tub, then reaches for another one. "yunho-"

"you can take it." he encourages. he tilts it again, and you can't help the shuddering sigh that leaves your lips when it falls on your chest, grazing your tense nipples. "does that feel good, dollie?"

you can only nod while your fingers reach to touch your sensitive breasts. they accidentally graze the perky buds, and if you didn't bite your lip in time, yunho would know what you were doing under the murky water.

"words, precious." he tilts the candle again, more wax coating your collarbones and neck as his other hand still caresses your cheeks. "let me hear you."

"it feels good, yunho."

yunho usually hated when you used his full name. he loved your nickname. but now, as he listens to you say his whole name in almost a breathy moan, he can't help but gulp and bite his inner cheek. "one more."

fingers trail from your breasts to your core, digits eagerly pressing into the plush folds and giving you a lick of satisfaction. when yunho brings a fresh candle to your body, you can't help the impatient whimper that leaves your lips, causing him to lose it and pour it all at once on you. his pants tighten at the sight, dried wax coating your burning skin, flushed cheeks, parted lips, and eyes rolled back. your head is still resting on the rim, tilted so that he can look at your pretty face that has a warm orange hue due to the candles.

then, he notices the water moving. and he notices your hand that has disappeared under it. yunho yanks your braid, making your eyes widen. "are you touching yourself?"

you know better than to lie. but you also know how much yunho doesn't like when you touch yourself. he gets jealous, he says. yet he won't ever touch you. your hand freezes between your legs, but no matter how slowly you try to remove it, yunho already knows. it doesn't fix the damage.

"stupid little bunny."

as if you want him to meet his end, your eyes become glossy with tears, and your bottom lip quivers. he didn't mean to make you cry. but you knew the rules. and you never broke them. sometimes you'd threaten that you would, only to rile him up and make him give you attention. you've never actually done it. now that you did, yunho is baffled. he hates that he wants to keep watching. he doesn't need to look at your body. your face is enough.

"i'm sorry." your voice trembles.

then, yunho's gaze hardens. it makes you worry for a split second, until his hands reach for your knees that peek out of the water. he separates them, slow as ever, and you swear you hear his breath hitch. "keep going."

"what?" you blink your tears away, to his disappointment.

"i want to watch." his eyes are fixed on yours. when you start rising from the water to give him a view, yunho shakes his head. "i want to watch you enjoy it."

you should've known by now that he has odd requests and ways of doing things. like insisting on feeding you. holding your hand or carrying you when going to another room. putting your hair in a clip by himself. choosing which clothes you'll wear for him. this, however, you did not experience yet.

"go on, pretty. i'll guide you." his soft lips leave a kiss on your forehead. "but you'll have to talk to me when i say something to you. got it?"

"yes, sir."

he nods as a sign to keep going. he doesn't have to do anything else, because your fingers are back on your folds. he gently tugs at your braid; a sign to stop. "patience." he growls. "cup your pretty breasts for me. don't touch your nipples just yet."

back to the start. your hands obey his command, and soon enough, your thighs find themselves squeezing together and rubbing against each other. fed up with your impatience, yunho separates your knees once again, now keeping his hands firmly planted there.

"tell me," he whispers into your ear, "if it was me touching you..." he trails.

you whimper at the thought.

"what would you want me to do next?"

your imagination runs wild. you'd want him to do everything. the things you can't even say out loud. things that would surprise him. so you settle for a simple one. "kiss me."

he chuckles. "that i can do."

he teases first, lips hovering over yours instead of touching. "please." you breathe out.

"touch yourself for me." he demands. "soft circles on your pretty buds."

when you do so, he finally presses his lips into yours. it is needy, and hot. the way his teeth graze your bottom lip, tugging it and nibbling on it while your fingers work on yourself. small whines are swallowed by his hungry kisses, muffled by his hot tongue against your inexperienced one. he guides you by slowing down and letting both of you savour every lick and nibble. if you weren't in the water, you are sure you'd be burning up.

one of his hands abandons your knee and reaches for yours that grips the bathtub rim, and he guides it back under the water and to your core. he only touches your hand, careful not to accidentally graze your thighs or your slick core. your fingers move with his help, slowly circling your clit and removing them when he feels your body become tense. he denies the sweet pleasure multiple times, enjoying the way you squirm under him and whine into his lips.

"yunnie-"

"yunho." he growls. "call me by my name."

"please, please, please." you chant. "yunho, please."

"sensitive?" he asks, knowing the answer. this time, yunho pulls away, opting to admire your face and finally focusing on you. "i'll make you feel so good, doll. make you wish for nobody but me."

"please do." pleas don't stop leaving your mouth. under other circumstances, you'd feel pathetic. but right now? you are ready to get on your knees and beg. "touch me."

"i can't." he stops.

you groan in frustration, losing the orgasm once again. "why not? why won't you ever touch me? why do you keep me if you won't do anything with me? am i ugly to you? am i that unappealing? am i not enough sexually attractive? am i too inexperienced for you? is there someone else? if there is, why am i here? what do i have to do to-"

in a single motion, yunho pulls you out of the water. it splashes everywhere, including his clothes. the look on his face changes. he is furious. you are pulled into the room, water dripping behind and leaving a trail all the way to the bed. he doesn't seem fazed by the fact that you are completely naked in front of him, and that he has seen you, and thus, broken his own rule. yunho throws your body on the bed, then reaches for the red ropes on the night stand.

"no, no-" you regret your words. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean it!"

"shut the fuck up." he growls. your wrists are back in the ropes, and he wastes no time in tightening them. he turns your body around so that you lay down on your stomach, and then pulls your braid so that your head is tilted back, just like in the bathtub. "look at me."

"yunho, please-"

"look." spank. "at." spank. "me." spank.

eyes finally lock with his. even through the blurry vision, you can see just how dark they have become. you always do this. you build something, little by little, and then you become greedy and ruin it. "i'm sorry."

"what do you want?"

silence. the pain on your scalp softens, with yunho loosening his grip. his brows are furrowed, and you know you've made him more furious than ever, just by the look on his face. "what?"

"do you want me to touch you?"

"i-" you do. it's all that's on your mind right now. he had given you a taste, and you want it all. "yes."

"after all i did to you?"

this time, you are the one whose brows are furrowed. he does know what he did to you. and he does acknowledge how bad it is. yet all of it doesn't stop your body aching for his. soul yearning for his. mind longing for his. you want yunho in every way possible. you want him to be yours, as much as you are his. only then will you be happy, and only then will you stop with the tantrums.

"yes." you confirm.

"oh, doll." he turns you over again, this time gently. finally, he looks at you. all of you. he can't help the hand that reaches to caress your wax covered collarbones and chest, traveling down your stomach and to your thighs. "if i touch you how i want now..." he trails, gaze locked on your shivering body. "you'll belong to me only."

"don't i already belong to you?" you point out.

"you don't understand." he shakes his head. "i'll make it so that your body only responds to me, even when we are out in public. i'll make it so that your mind doesn't dare to think of other men. i'll mold you so that i am your only match, mentally and physically. i'll make it so that your walls mold to the shape of my cock, and can only take me and nobody else. i'll make it so that you cry from pleasure every time i get my hands on you, and i set high standards for you, that even if you tried to cheat, you'd be disappointed and crawl back to me."

"yunho-" you breathe out, gulping at his words.

"i'll spoil you. i'll kiss you. i'll fuck you. i'll do anything you ask me to. just..." the man looks deep into your eyes before he removes a stray strand from your face, tucking it behind your ear. he places his hand under your chin, raising your head so that you can properly look at him with those glossy eyes of yours. "promise me."

"promise you what?"

"promise that you belong to me. me and nobody else."

"i promise." the words come out in a whisper.

he shakes his head, not satisfied with the answer. "say it."

"i belong to you, yunho. my body and soul is yours." finally, he is satisfied. "under one condition."

he raises one eyebrow, surprised at your request.

"you can have me as long as i have you."

"you have me."

"no, i don't. not like i want to. what if you meet somebody prettier? more interesting? i've seen your coworkers. they're all gorgeous. i can't compare to them. what if you decide you want a normal relationship and grow bored of me?"

one confession after another has yunho's gaze softening. he wishes for nothing more than to press his lips against yours and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. but he has suppressed your feelings and opinions enough. "i would never get bored of you. you think i went to such lengths for something that is temporary?"

"then why don't you ever touch me?"

"because," his finger stops the fresh tear from rolling down your cheek, "once i have you, i won't be able to keep my hands off you."

"i don't want you to keep your hands off me." you hastily admit. he opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him by capturing his lips with yours. he relaxes into it, letting you lead by simply opening his mouth and inviting your tongue in. he is already burning for you, as are you for him. you pull away for a moment. "you said multiple times that you like to pamper and take care of me. now you can properly show it to me."

"i will take good care of you." he breathes out, gracing you with a hot kiss to your lips before trailing down your jaw and neck. "i will be everything you could want or need." his teeth graze the collarbone, making your hands snake around his neck. "i will be yours as much as you are mine."

his tongue peeks out, creating a path between your breasts, down your stomach, until he reaches your pulsating core. his hands rest on your waist, keeping your body firmly planted on the wet mattress. it is odd seeing someone like yunho be mesmerized by something. seeing his eyes locked to your glistening folds and bottom lip trapped between his teeth made your stomach erupt with butterflies. he is still holding back.

suddenly, the red rope catches his attention. you are still tied up. but when he goes to undo the knot, you stop him. "i want to keep them on. so you know i truly belong to you."

"doll..." voice pure velvet, yunho looks at you from between your legs. "what do you want me to do?"

you think. and think. but really, it is that simple. "everything you wanted to do, but you held back."

"you don't know what you are asking for." he warns.

"you said you'll do anything i ask." you remind him of his words spoken just minutes ago. "i ask you to not hold back."

with a groan, yunho pulls your body to the edge of the bed, burying his head between your thighs and inhaling your scent before letting his tongue taste you. immediately, your back arches off the bed, and tied up hands reach to grab his hair. the grip he has on your thighs to keep them apart is strong. so strong that you know they'll bruise.

"fuck-" his fingers spread your folds, leaving your sensitive clit exposed to his flattened tongue. "fuck!" you cry out.

he barely slides one finger inside your tight walls, and you can already feel the orgasm rushing. he has denied it many times today already, and he decides to be merciful and close his lips around the bundle of nerves and suck until you fall apart on the bed and his tongue. he doesn't give you a break, instead pulling his mouth away from you and sliding another finger inside. "so pretty."

digits easily find the plush button on the upper wall, caressing it and stimulating it to the point of making you cry from pleasure. tears spill down your cheeks, hands grip at the sheets, and body arches from the bed while your walls clench around him. when you look down to beg him to give you more, you choke on your breath. yunho humps the edge of the bed, gaze fixed on the way your walls swallow his fingers as he chases his own release. "yunnie..."

"yes, pretty girl?"

"you're humping the mattress while i am here?"

"you look and taste so sweet. i don't want to ruin it." he admits.

a laugh escapes your lips, and is interrupted by a moan when his other hand rests on your overstimulated clit. "i want you."

and just how can yunho say no to you?

"i'll try to be gentle." vision blurry and mind hazy, you don't question how fast yunho has taken his clothes off. he is on top of you, planting a kiss on your forehead before guiding his aching cock to your entrance. you clench before he even slips inside, making it harder for his wide length to separate your walls. inch by inch, yunho gets lost in the feeling of you, and can't help but slam his hips into yours. a cry meets his ears, making him realize what he did. "oh, doll. i am so sorry."

"it's alright." you assure, a hiccup betraying you.

"you feel..." he pulls away, only to slide back in again in a gentler motion and let out a satisfied hum. "oh, you feel heavenly."

all you can think about it the bulge in the bottom of your stomach. you feel him deep, and it is as enjoyable as it is painful. he is thicker than you've imagined, or ever seen, and he splits you open so beautifully, easily gliding in and out. "i want... i want..."

"you're a drooling mess, dollie." he teases. and he isn't wrong. you are so intoxicated by his smell, his touch, and the way he gazes at you, that you can't do anything else but lie down and take what he gives you. "fuck, i'm not going to last long. that doesn't usually happen."

"i'll take that as a compliment."

yunho picks you up by your waist, angling your body off the mattress and finally snapping his hips into yours, reaching into the places you never knew you had and drawing cries and moans from you. "say my name." he growls against your neck, the sticky tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each snap.

"yunho," you gasp.

"louder." snap.

"yunho," you try, but you are weak already.

"louder." he yanks at your braid, sending delicious pain to your scalp and inching you closer to your release. "say my name. tell me who you belong to. tell me who's fucking you right."

"yunho!"

"good, good girl." he praises, and finally, lets you relax as he helps you reach the peak and spill. "i'll ruin you for anyone else."

it takes you over the edge of the peak, making your body explode with pleasure that rushes all the way to your toes, fingers and scalp. you shake under his touch, riding out the waves of pleasure while he still works on getting himself to orgasm.

it doesn't take long, seeing your state of flushed cheeks, half closed eyes that lazily gaze at him, and the knot between your wrists. he spills into you, filling you to the brim and pulling out, only to squirt the remains on your abused clit. warm seed spills out of your hole and onto the mattress. you don't protest when his fingers collect the white fluid, only to push it back in.

"fuck, you really are perfect." he kisses your cheeks, then your forehead, and finally, your lips. "i guess i'll go run you another bath."

"guess so," you laugh. you watch him run into the bathroom and get his phone from the nightstand in the process, and can't help but glance at his tushy when he walks. "and yunho?"

"hm?"

"i meant what i said. i am yours, as long as you are mine."

"yes, doll." his eyes are fixed on the screen, and he is lucky he is hidden in the bathroom. he skims over the message over and over again, wondering whether he was reading it right. if you weren't right there, he would've thrown the phone at the mirror. it was as if his reflection was taunting him. smiling at him. freaking him out.

hongjoong: i know what you did, yunho. i gave you enough time to correct your mistakes or admit to it. if you don't want the police involved, you better set the poor girl free and we'll never talk about this again. last chance.

they know what he did. and they won't be afraid to rat him out. but no matter what promises he made to you today, one thing is still clear:

if he can't have you, nobody can.

and if hongjoong tries to take you away from him, may all deities help him.

[joongieology]

oh shit, are we in love? || Jongho (m.)

🏀 pairing ⇢ cheerleader! (fem) reader x best friend/basketball player! Jongho

🏀 summary ⇢ you’ve called Jongho your best friend all your life. You were attached at the hip for ages, and even as you take on college together. With no other relationship experience other than with him, when you decide to go after a cute classmate, you look to Jongho for some help. Asking him to practice “things” with you seemed like nothing—that is, until kissing him made you think that you couldn’t kiss anyone else.

🏀 genre/au ⇢ best friends to lovers, college au, smut, fluff

🏀 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, unprotected sex, oral sex (male recieving), cum shot, Jongho is a virgin, also is a slut for y/n, drinking, mentions of knee injury, best friends to lovers, college love, cheerleader x basketball player

🏀 word count ⇢ 15.8k (so sorry I just couldnt stop)

🏀 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)

spotify playlist

When you were kids, Jongho gave you a ring—a ring made out of straw paper he kept after a trip to get milkshakes after school.

With the paper straw ring, he stuck it on your ring finger. The wrong one, but that didn't matter to him, anyway. He declared to you that he would marry you someday. Someday, whatever that meant to a young kid. With the ring already on your finger, you couldn't exactly decline his proposal, so you just shrugged and told him, “Why not?”

At seventeen, you went to prom together. Not because you liked each other, no. Because it was convenient, it made sense. How could you go with someone else? You wore a beautiful red gown, Jongho matching you with a patterned red tie. You had a great time, went home together, and nearly kissed at your doorstep—you didn't think too much of it. You blamed it on the atmosphere. So did he.

You sat at your desk in your cramped dorm room, your bed pushed up on the left side of the room and a mess of pillows and blankets covering it. 

Suddenly, as you were finally getting to the good part in your book, Jongho barged into your room, dropping his basketball bag onto the floor with a groan. He tossed his slides off, not even meeting your gaze before walking like a zombie towards your messy bed, throwing himself on top.

“Well hello to you too,” you blinked, losing your page in your book. “Get out of my damn bed, you're sweaty as fuck.”

He huffed, crossing his muscular arms across his chest, staring up at the glow stars you put on the ceiling. “Leave me be. My roommate is fucking some chick right now. I just need to lay down.”

“San seems like he gets around a lot,” you scoffed, picking up your book again. You were currently reading a very, very smutty book—although you were supposed to be studying your literature anthology text for the exam you had in the morning. You flipped a page. 

“Oh, he does,” Jongho sniffed. You looked over at him, his cut-off t-shirt revealing a good bit of skin on his side, his sweat gleaming on his body. “I mean, practice just ended. He had to have the damn girl in there even before he got back. It’s ridiculous.”

He sat up now, putting his back against his headboard. He winced a bit as he moved, his hand going to the brace around his knee.

You paused, completely forgetting the smut you were reading. “What is it? Is it hurting again?”

“Just a little, it’s no biggie.” Jongho offered you a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “Don't give me that look, y/n. I hurt it a while ago. It's normal for it to ache occasionally.”

Back in your senior year, he tore his ACL before the season, causing him to never have his final year of basketball. He was a mess, but at least he had you. He got surgery, had physical therapy, but yet, he still has pain to this day.

You met his eyes for a moment, sighing when that gorgeous smile of his poked through his lips. “Fine, fine. Just get outa here when you can. I got some…important things to do alone tonight.”

He furrowed his brows, confused. “What could you possibly…..oh,” he shut his eyes painfully. “Please, I don't want to imagine it.” He scooted back down on the bed and tossed your blanket on top of him. “My eyes, my eyes.”

“Oh, shut up, you pussy.” You set your book down, crossing your legs. “A girl gotta live out her fantasies somehow, alright?”

“La la la,” he repeated, trying his best to ignore the conversation. “I don't wanna hear it.”

You let out a chuckle, stood up from your seat, and tossed yourself onto the bed with him, tackling him as he thrashed from your grip.

“Stop it, stop it,” he groaned, wriggling away from your hands as you tickled him. He giggled, childlike. You giggled right along with him, not even caring about the damn sweat that coated his skin, his clothes. You tangled together under the blanket, and after a good couple minutes of a tickle fight, you grabbed your laptop to watch your favorite TV show.

Jongho stayed under the blankets with you, his leg strewn on top of your body, his head in the crook of your neck as you watched the show together. He let out a few snide comments—earning a slap from you, but he just chuckled and nuzzled closer into you.

And after a few episodes, he fell asleep on you, legs tangled in yours, your arm wrapped around him.

—

“Dude, you wouldn't answer your phone last night,” Wooyoung mumbled as he stuffed a couple of chips into his mouth. “Do you literally have a new bitch every night?”

You and your friends were sitting at a table in the dining hall, munching on some lunch before you had class. Wooyoung, San, and Mingi sat across from you and Jongho, all of them in workout gear—they were going to the gym after lunch.

“Listen, last night wasn't even that good,” San hummed dully, taking a sip of his protein shake. “She was too damn loud—”

“I thought you liked them whiny,” Mingi deadpanned.

San’s eyes narrowed on the giant. “Your point? She was loud, not whiny—there’s a difference.” San looked to Jongho now, a slight smirk on his pretty little lips. “Where’d you go? You could've joined us.”

Jongho waved his hands sporadically. “No, no, I’d rather not, thank you.”

San huffed playfully, eyes dancing to you. They glimmered knowingly. “Ah, you’d rather be in her bed, right?” he nodded his head towards you, earning a harsh glare from Jongho.

“So what if I'm in her bed, it’s not like we do anything.” Jongho’s eyes went frantic, and his fists balled. “We’ve always slept with each other—wait, that came out wrong—”

“What he’s trying to say is that we’ve slept in the same bed since we were little, that nothing is ever gonna happen,” you interjected, crossing your arms across your chest.

San laughed at that. “Ah yeah, that nothing’s gonna happen, gotcha,” he said, taking the last sip of his protein shake. I’m going to the gym if you guys are ready. Jongho, y/n, you coming?”

You shook your head, but stood up with everyone else, anyway. “I have class, but you guys have fun. I’ll walk out with you.”

As you and your friends left the dining hall, the cool, winter air breezed through you, sending chills down your spine. Your winter coat wasn't enough. You shoved your hands into your pockets, walking stiffly next to jongho, who simply—possibly even without thinking, tossed his arm around your shoulder, warming you up instantly. Your friends continued to talk and carry on, and you snuggled up into Jongho’s warm side.

—

Class was a bore. As per usual. The spring semester had just started, and the new classes you had were far from entertaining. Anything to get through school, though.

As you packed up your things, a phone fell from the seat in front of you, landing right by your feet. You picked it up, but when the person was no longer sitting there, you quickly tossed your bag over your shoulder to follow him.

“Hey, excuse me!” you huffed, chasing after the guy—damn, his legs were long. He moved way too fast for you. “Your phone….dude!” you finally reached him, tapping him on the shoulder, only for the most gorgeous man to grace the earth to turn around.

You forced yourself to keep your jaw from falling to the floor as you met his dark eyes. His hair was even darker, his lips a soft pink, curling up slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, holding up the phone. “But you dropped this.”

The pretty guy blinked, smirking. The classroom emptied as you stood staring at each other, oblivious to the professor giving you a side-eye as he left.

“I don't think that’s mine,” he said blandly, but his eyes glimmered mischievously. He looked a bit older—definitely older than you, at least.

You furrowed your brows, looking at the phone in your hands. “I could've sworn you were the one sitting in front of me,” you wondered, confused. You pushed it forward into his chest. “Just take it I don't have time to find the owner if it's not yours.”

He smiled down at you, his thick eyebrows raising. “I won't take it.”

“Why the hell not?” your patience was running thin—you had to get the cheer practice. This stupidly pretty guy was not allowed to make you late. You were not running laps. Not today. 

You were about to just shove it into his pockets until his mouth opened. “Not without your number.”

You frowned. “Is that….is that supposed to be a pickup line?”

He shrugged. “If you want it to be, then yes.”

God, the smile this damn boy had. You were gonna crumble under his gaze like some schoolgirl, but you kept your cool.

His eyes were so bright, so clear. He was tall, much taller than you, much older. You watched as he looked around, away from you. “If not, then I’ll just take the phone back—”

“No, no,” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the phone in your hands. “You just…you’ll just need to unlock it.”

He smiled gorgeously. “I can do that.”

He took the phone, typed in a few numbers, and gave it right back to you. “What’s your name?” 

“y/n,” you hummed, forcing your blush away. This was the first time you had been asked for your number, the first time a guy other than Jongho or your friends had looked at you. “You?”

“Seonghwa,” the pretty boy smiled, a name now to the face. You couldn't help but grin at his expression—and the utter insanity that just happened. It was totally random; a pretty guy asking for your number? That’s never happened in all your years. Never. 

“If I ask to buy you a coffee,” he started as you fumbled on your phone number. “Would you say yes?”

“Depends,” you shrugged, unable to look up at him. “If you get me food, too.”

“Deal.” Goddamn, that smile, those teeth. “Tomorrow, after class? Before class?”

You bit your lip, handing the phone back to him. “Before, I have practice after class.” actually, you had practice like, right now. You probably looked crazy, eyes wide as you realized where you needed to be. “I gotta go—speaking of which—”

Before you could leave, he called for you. “Hey, where should we meet?”

“Outside the library?” you tossed out, hoping he answered hastily. 

He nodded, giving you that smile once again. 

“Perfect.”

—

You were in bed after practice, and Jongho was sitting quietly on your desk chair, slowly taking off his knee brace and hissing. 

“God, this thing sucks,” he groaned, the velcro tearing as he peeled it off. The brace was like a metal cage, going from his thigh to his lower calf, looking like a deathtrap.

“And it stinks,” you mumbled dramatically, staring up at your ceiling, hands folded on your stomach as your mind wandered. You sat up quickly, startling your best friend. 

“What? What is it?” he spat out, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “You just sat up like a goddamn zombie.”

“If, let’s just say, hypothetically,” you wondered, looking out into space. “That I got asked out on a date to a coffee shop, how would I dress?”

Jongho’s eyes widened. “You got asked out? You?” he asked incredulously.

You scoffed, looking over at him with a playful sneer. “Is that so hard to believe?”

He laughed, finally taking off his brace and setting it on the side of your desk. “Oh yeah—y/n, you’ve never once gone on a date in all of our years of friendship. It's shocking.”

You blinked at him, gripping a pillow from behind you and tossing it at him. Of course, he caught it. 

“I’m just saying—”

“Okay, but for real,” you groaned, shifting to get comfy again. “You’ve been on some dates, how did the girls usually dress for them? Did you ever go on a coffee date—”

“Who’s the guy?” he huffed out, completely ignoring your worries.

You flattened your lips. “Does that matter?”

“Uh, yeah. What if the guy is a scumbag?” Jongho leaned back in the chair, stretching out his arms. 

“He’s definitely not a scumbag,” you sighed, thinking of how dreamy he looked, missing Jongho’s worried expression. “Anyway, you didn't answer my question.”

You couldn't figure out the look on your best friend’s face. He knitted his brows, his eyes raising to yours. “Just dress normally,” he spoke softly. “When’s your date?”

“Tomorrow.” You hopped off your bed and walked towards your closet across from Jongho. He followed you as you moved and hesitated to look as you tore off your top, leaving you standing in your sports bra.

Jongho gulped but rolled his eyes playfully. “Why do you always undress in front of me?” His eyes naturally dropped to your hips as you slid off your sweatpants. “I am a man, too, you know.”

“Pfft, man, my ass,” you turned your back to him as he tried his best not to look. You grabbed a t-shirt—his t-shirt that you kept from a while ago—and tossed it on. You didn't even bother with pants.

Jongho gave you a look as you turned to face him. “My shirt? Really?” He groaned, mouth parted as he looked at you. “Where the hell are your pants?”

“I don't like pants.”

“Then put shorts on—”

“Is it a crime to sleep in my underwear? God, at least I have something on, dammit.” you walked past him and hopped back onto your bed. “I could be completely naked—this is my room, remember?”

Jongho didn't change his expression—he blinked at you while you sat on the bed, bare-legged, the skin up to the top of your thigh visible. He took in a gulp. “I, uh, I got an assignment due at midnight. I’m gonna head back to my room.”

You shrugged and shuffled into bed to get comfy. “Have fun with that, babycakes,” you said, giving him a wink, but he ignored it and left your room without another look.

—

Maybe it was a bad idea to wear jeans on a day like today.

A day when you woke up painfully bloated, bleeding, and aching from your period. Out of all the days, you had to get it today. 

You stood outside the library, your back against the red brick building. You wore a cute pink top with the flared jeans you were struggling with, and you added a cute little bow to hold your hair back.

You saw Seonghwa walk up to you. His lower half was also dawned in wonderfully-fitting jeans. They hugged his thighs, loosening a bit at his knees, and fell over a pair of sparkling clean white sneakers that looked like they were worth more than your car. 

The white shirt was also slim against his lean frame. You held back any reaction you had like a damn cat in heat. “Hey,” he started as he neared. “Ready to go? We can go to the coffee shop on campus since we have class coming up.”

You nodded, hoping to god the smile on your face was not grimace-like. 

“Yep, let’s go.”

You sat with your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers anxiously as Seonghwa waited for your drinks. You looked over at him, watching his figure lean against the closest wall, how his long, long legs looked in those damn pants, how his fingers tapped against his arm as he waited. You barely knew him, nothing much other than knowing his name and now his coffee order, and you wondered what it would be like to get to know him. 

When he sat down in front of you, he handed you your coffee, a bright, blinding smile on his face. “I pegged you as the type to like ridiculously flavored seasonal drinks….” he paused, smirking, as you froze mid-sip on your….seasonal drink. Highly, highly sugary seasonal drink. “Guess I’m a good judge of character.”

You swallowed the party of sugar and cinnamon before giving him a shy smile. “I’m a sucker for them, to be honest.”

You sat quietly for a good while, sipping on your drink, him sipping on his. The feeling was…nice. However, you were a bit anxious as he looked at you, at your lips, as you drank from the straw. 

“You’re a cheerleader for the basketball team, right?” He tilted his head slightly, looking at you. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere—besides class, I mean.”

You nodded. “Yep, I cheer for the basketball team,” you took another sip of your drink. “Do you play? I think I would've seen you before, though.”

“Actually,” he started, offering you a kind smile. “I just transferred in from another university. I start official practice today, but I’ve been to many games already.”

Oh, so he’d seen you and known that you were on the cheer squad even before he approached you?

Cute. 

“Oh, wow,” you smiled, leaning closer without realizing it. “So, will you be playing in the next game, then?”

“Yes,” he looked ecstatic, like he can't wait. “We’ll see how much playing time I actually get, though. Those guys are very good—”

“Oh, I know!” you didn't mean to interrupt him, but you would take any chance to brag about your Jongho. “My best friend is the point guard.”

“You know Jongho?” Seonghwa smiled, but it looked a bit weary. “He’s a great guy.”

“He really is.” you took a large sip of your coffee, meeting Seonghwa’s gaze as you did it. His gaze fluttered to your lips once more, and he licked his own. 

He tapped against the wooden table. “Would you….want to do this again?”

You raised your brows. “This? You mean, getting coffee?”

“Not exactly,” he blinked, letting out a little chuckle. “Anything, just…we can hang out more, if you're down with that.”

Your heart fluttered a bit. “Ah, yeah, I would like that.”

He smiled. “Good,” he looked at the clock on the wall near your seat. “We gotta get to class.”

“Class, yeah, that’s right,” you were lost in his gaze, not even realizing how captivating his entire being was. You followed him out of the coffee shop, walking next to each other, until you got to the classroom.

He took the seat next to you this time, and you were beginning to suffocate from the feeling of his body being so close.

—

“I think I’m doomed.”

Jongho, like always, is in your room when you come back from practice. He sat up from his lazy position on your bed, eyebrows raised.

“Why’s that?”

You huffed, tossing your cheer bag onto the floor next to your desk. “What if he kisses me? I’ve never kissed anyone, fuck, I bet I’ll look like a fish trying to gulp fucking water—”

“God, you’ve been here for not even a minute, and you're blabbing on like a maniac already.” He blinked, his face deadpanned as he looked at you. “Why are you so concerned? Did the date go well?”

You groaned dramatically, tossing off your sneakers, and balancing yourself on the back of your desk chair. “He asked me for another date, but I know damn well what that means, and I can't let him find out that I am a twenty-something-year-old virgin that’s only ever kissed books and my mother.”

Jongho looked like he was about to burst out laughing at your desperate words, biting the inside of his cheek. He managed to squeak out, “Oh, I think you’re a lost cause,” he giggled. Giggled.

“This is not funny. You're no help,” you groaned, tossing your head back as you walked to your closet—when a perfect idea came to you. 

“Wait a damn minute–”

“What is it now?” Jongho sat up on your bed, legs dangling off the side.

You turned around sharply, facing him, eyes wide with mischief. His eyes widened at your expression.

“Lend me your lips,” you said, walking up to him, but he leaned back in confusion, his arms holding himself behind him.

“What?” He scoffed, unable to meet your gaze. “The hell do you mean?”

You leaned over him on the bed, him unable to lean any further back without falling. You held yourself up on both sides of him. “Oh, come on. Just once. You can help me learn how to kiss. Who else could?”

He furrowed his brows. “You’re crazy.”

“I know,” you shrugged. “But I’d rather die than embarrass myself.”

“You do know,” He started, letting out a sigh. “That friends don't kiss each other? Or did you miss that memo?”

“I swear it won't mean anything,” you pleaded, knowing you were acting crazy, immature, whatever. 

Jongho huffed, leaning forward, but grabbing your shoulders to move you away. “Listen,” he sighed, meeting your eyes. “Why don't you go ask San or Mingi?”

“Because San scares me,” you shrugged. “He’d probably eat me. And Mingi is….Mingi….”

“What does that even mean—”

“For fuck’s sake, Jongie,” you grabbed his shoulders. “Is this asking too much? We’ve been best friends for so long. How would something so trivial as a kiss mess with it?”

Jongho looked like he had something to say—a lot to say, actually. But he stayed quiet, sighing, as he looked up at you from his seated position on the bed.  

“Okay, but if I have to kiss someone as filthy as you,” he huffed, crossing his arms. “What do I get out of it?”

You hummed. “Hmm. well, what do you want?”

He smiled mischievously. “Do my paper for me. For my lit class.”

“Easy, done,” you leaned forward. “Now gimme your lips—”

“Ah ah ah, slow down,” he scoffed. “You can't just toss yourself into the kiss. You have to lead into it.”

“Got it,” you blinked, looking into his golden brown eyes, noticing how…nice they were. “How do I do that?”

“Well, I bet he’ll try to kiss you first,” Jongho ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair, matching his eyes. You took note of it, too. He stood up, causing you to subconsciously step away from him. You both now stood in the middle of your dorm room, the room dimly lit by your desk lamp, the warm hue coloring the tanned skin of his face.

“Okay,” you nodded, almost freaking yourself out for noticing his details, the slight curve of his lips, the way his hair fell across his forehead. 

Jongho’s calloused hand slowly, hesitantly, moved towards your face. You watched his eyes as his fingertips brushed your skin, watching them scrunch, watching them focus on his movements. “Maybe he’d hold you like this,” he spoke softly, eyes jumping to yours, his hand twitching slightly.

“But what do I do?” you weakly jutted out, biting the corner of your bottom lip. “Do I…touch you—touch him, too?”

He shrugged, swallowing hard. “I mean, you do what comes naturally.”

He was so close. So close. It's not like you’ve never been closer to him, because you have, but something was suffocating. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to feel.

You stared into his eyes, those brown eyes, those….sparkling, pretty eyes. You swallowed as his hand slid down to your chin, tilting it up softly.

There was an unknown emotion dancing in his gaze. You were extremely aware of the spark that was setting off from his touch. 

He leaned in closer, and as he got closer and closer, you felt your heartbeat flutter in your chest. You heard it in your ears, felt your stomach tighten. 

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said hushedly. You noticed that the tips of his ears were flushed red, and a dusting of the color was across his cheeks. When he pressed his lips to yours, you widened your eyes from the feeling, then shut them to savor it.

His mouth moved across yours, you felt the warmth of his lips, the softness of them. His other hand—the one that wasn't holding onto your chin, rested around your hip, his grip tightening. 

You froze under his lips, unsure of how to do this. You moved your mouth against his, then, trying to move with his movements. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, unsure of what to do with them if you didn't do that. You felt a small smile in his kiss.

You pressed your body into him as his lips parted against yours. You felt the soft tickle of his shaky breaths against your skin—you could only imagine what you felt like to him.

He parted from you, only slightly, and took a sharp inhale. You still had your eyes shut tight, lips parted, as you got lost in the feeling. 

You opened them, meeting his gaze, meeting that heart-shattering look he had. His lips were red like his ears, like his cheeks. His eyes were hazy, his hands still on you. You felt your heart crumbling inside you. 

Without another word, you leaned back up to him, awkwardly wrapping your hand around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. He shut his eyes, and let out a pleasured sound, stirring something, awakening something inside.

You kissed him this time, even knowing that you had no idea what you were doing. You just trusted these instincts you were feeling, the emotions that were overtaking your mind. Your body told you to part your lips against his sweet lips, to savor the slightly salty taste against them. To lean into his body. You couldn't help but allow yourself to touch his waist, gliding your hand down his abs, his stomach, feeling his muscles tighten under your touch. 

He sighed into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist, his fingertips brushing the bare skin under your blouse. His lips felt so good, so soft, so electrifying. This feeling was unlike any other, you were beginning to lose your breath, your senses, your mind.

And when you let out a little moan—without intending to, you were shocked back to reality. You pulled away from him quickly, moving your hands to your sides, trying to catch your breath. Jongho was also huffing, begging for oxygen, as he stood in front of you. His lips were bright red now; his eyes were wide.

“Ah, um,” you cleared your throat, forcing out a laugh. “So, did I do a good job?”

Jongho blinked, still looking out of it. “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” He swallowed, nodded, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Mhm. For your first kiss, you did good.” 

Good? Good? God, that felt euphoric. Like you were drugged, high, out in space. You still couldn't get your heartbeat to slow. “Great.” That was all you managed to squeak out, now that you were suddenly aware of the ability to just kiss him again. You realized that the air was odd now, that something felt different. 

“You tasted like sweat,” you playfully added, letting out an awkward laugh as you gave him a shoulder punch. “Maybe I should've kissed San or Mingi instead.”

“I am a great kisser, I’ll have you know—” Jongho boasted, but you interrupted him. 

“Pfft,” you waved a hand as if you weren't just about to hyperventilate from his kiss, his touch. “You sucked, you’re a horrible teacher—”

“Oh?” he huffed, gripping your arms just below your elbows. “I’ll kiss you again, I’ll prove it, I’ll do you one better—”

“Fine! More practice for me, anyway.”

Jongho let out a grumble of incoherent words before grabbing you by the back of the neck and pressing his mouth to yours once more, his lips gliding against yours. 

You grabbed the fabric of his shirt, tightening your grip as he pushed his tongue through your lips, into your mouth. You let out a sigh as he did it, his fingertips gripping your hair on the back of your head.

After a long few minutes of eating each other, He pulled away this time. He let go of you, his hands falling at his sides. “There,” he breathed. “Now you know how to handle a kiss like that. You know, just in case.”

You licked your bottom lip, sparks still flying around your body. You tasted him still, the saltiness of his sweat. You smelled the woodsy cologne he used, the minty taste of gum. 

“Thanks,” you smiled, trying your best not to let these thoughts of him overtake you. “For helping me with this. You’re such a good best friend.”

“Ah, yeah,” he sniffed, forcing a smile. “I should, uh. I should go, I have something to submit before midnight, so,” He gulped, taking a step away from you. “But happy to help, of course. Now you owe me my paper.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you scoffed, smiling playfully as he walked to the door to put on his shoes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he called out as he opened the door, leaving after you offered him a wave goodbye.

And once the door shut, you nearly lost your breath, falling onto your bed.

“Oh god,” you breathed, putting a hand to your mouth. “What was that? I—ugh!” you groaned, thrashing your legs around. “Why the fuck was he so hot? Get a grip, get a grip.” you ran your hands aggressively through your hair and gripping it. “Fuck I think my brain lost too much oxygen.”

You couldn't sleep one bit—not at all. Every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was Jongho, and all you felt was him.

—

A few days pass and you barely see your best friend.

It's not that he’s ignoring you or vice versa; it's that he had an away game a good distance away and was off campus for a good few days. 

While he was gone, you wondered if he was thinking the same way you were, if he felt something, too, or if it was just normal to have feelings during a kiss. 

Irritated by your stupid mind, you were unsure about the feeling in your chest when you saw Jongho in the library; his baseball hat flipped backwards over his soft brown hair.

You would look odd if you ran away, right? Right.

You strutted over to where he was sitting. He always loved the window seats, mainly to people watch. You sat down in the seat across from him.

“When’d you get back?”

He lifted his eyes to yours. “Last night,” he grumbled, flipping a page in the book in front of him.

“What are you reading?” you leaned forward on your elbows.

He reacted much worse than you thought, flying backward into his chair, a terrified look on his face. 

“Yo, I’m not gonna bite you, Jeez,” you raised a brow, moving your gaze to the book. “Oh, ew, anatomy. No thanks.”

He scoffed, picking off an invisible—or maybe an extremely small—piece of lint from his black hoodie. He didn't say anything in response, he just continued what he was doing.

“So,” you tried to continue the conversation with him without it turning to mush. “I’m gonna be going to Seonghwa’s frat tonight. There's a party or something.”

He looked at you with shock. “You’re going to a party?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” you rolled your eyes, leaning back to cross your arms around your chest. Jongho’s vision dipped to the movement.

“Well, given that you hate crowded places,” he trailed off, not really having another excuse. “I just can't see you going to—”

“y/n?” a voice softly murmured from your left, and both you and Jongho turned to see Seonghwa walking up to your table, a bag slung across his broad shoulder. His hair was pulled up in a half up half down do, little black strands framing his unfathomable face.

Jongho, in the corner of your eye, looked away from the tall basketball player, opting for the view outside the library.

“Seonghwa?” you smiled, uncrossing your arms to look less like a grumpy bitch. “What’s up?”

You didn't even look to see the irritation on Jongho’s face.

“I was coming in to study but then I saw you in the corner of my eye,” he smiled, beamed, really, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He then nodded to Jongho, offering him a smile, too. “Hey, Jongho.”

Your best friend managed to give him a smile back, although you knew his face all too well—that was a damn grimace. “Hey.” 

You looked between the two boys as seonghwa spoke again. “Hey, me and y/n are gonna be at the party tonight. You wanna come? The other guys on the team will be there, too.”

“Well, I can't imagine San missing a function,” Jongho scoffed, cracking his knuckles aggressively. “But I guess I’ll come, too.”

You nearly dropped your jaw onto the floor.

“Really?” you interjected, shocked. “I can't imagine you going to a party—”

“Anyway,” Jongho cleared his throat, ignoring you. “What time?”

Seonghwa furrowed his brows as he tried to recall. “Uh, I think ten? It goes till two, no later,” He looked to you then. “Do you wanna go for some lunch?”

You blushed. Jongho huffed. “Oh, yes. That would be nice,” you smiled, to which Jongho rolled his eyes in response. You stood up from your seat and offered your best friend a playful wink. “See you tonight, jongie.”

When you walked away, seonghwa slugged an arm around your shoulder on the way out. Jongho, still in his seat, tightened his grip on the textbook as he watched you leave.

And then he couldn't even enjoy people-watching when he saw you walk down the sidewalk with that string bean.

—

You didn't hear from jongho the rest of the day, and even when ten o’clock came, he was M.I.A. You shrugged it off, trying too hard to ignore the tug in your chest, the desire to go to his room and kiss him again. 

You made it to the frat house that sat on the end of the Greek life strip in town. It was a tall, skinny building that looked way too nice to be lived in by a bunch of boys. You made sure to wear your filthy Converse, knowing damn well whether booze, puke, or a plethora of other fluids would end up all over them. Despite not going to many parties in your lifetime, you still had common sense. 

You walked into the house, getting bombarded with tons of odd smells, some good and some bad. The interior was dark, lit with random colored lights that danced all over the walls, the people. 

Loud, ungodly music blared through oddly positioned speakers in the wall, and there was a sea of people talking and carrying on. You weren't sure how the fuck they could hear each other over the awful music.

You walked further into the house, making a B-line to where you assumed the alcohol was. There was a bunch of beer cans, and you grabbed one with ease, cracking it open and chugging it like a champ. However, the beer sucked ass, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. You must've made a face.

“Icky?” Seonghwa’s smooth voice envelopes you with comfort. 

You turn to him, offering him a sincere smile. He looked great, as always, with his hair growing even longer. “Very, but if it gets me drunk, I’ll handle it.”

“So brave,” he chuckled, standing closer to you by the second. Your mind wanders to the thought of him touching you. Would it feel as good as it did with Jongho? Would his hands be gentle? Would his lips taste as sweet? 

His hand on the small of your back interrupted your thoughts.

You needed to be drunk. Quick, so you can handle these stupid ideas.

“It’s good to see you here,” he starts, but you can't help but look at his lips. You weren't thinking about them—no, rather, you were thinking of Jongho’s. Would Seonghwa feel the same?

You took another sip of your drink to get the last drop before grabbing another. “Do they have something else? This shit sucks.”

Seonghwa looked at you for a long moment before nodding in a direction. “There’s vodka in the cabinet if you want it?”

You let out a sigh of relief, but still, you kept drinking the shitty beer. “Yes, god, yes.”

After you got ahold of the vodka, you regretted your choice against the beer.

You must've blacked out for a bit—you don't remember how you got in the living room, how you got onto Seonghwa’s lap, how his lips were on your neck. You delightfully craned your neck to feel it better, to feel his hot breaths, his hands on your waist. However, when you opened your eyes, you realized that you were imagining someone else under you.

You pulled away from him, but you didn't get off him. You looked into his eyes, seeing the desire drip from them. You were too messed up—blame that on your shitty tolerance, to care what you were doing right now. “Can I try something?” you fluttered your eyelashes, not meaning it in a sultry way, but it came out that way.

“Of course,” Seonghwa mused, a little smile prickling at his lips.

Lips that you wanted to kiss—not because you needed to, but because you needed to see something, feel something—have something to compare to that ethereal experience you had with your best friend.

And at his approval, you leaned forward, doing everything that you were taught, and pressed your lips to Seonghwa’s. He responded well, gripping the back of your head as he kissed you back, and you slid your tongue in his mouth, half expecting to feel something, anything.

But there you were, imagining Jongho, his smell, his taste, the way he cautiously touched you and held you. Nothing can compare, not even this.

You pulled away from him, eyebrows raised, mouth agape. He looked confused at your reaction but put on a sloppy smile. “Everything okay?”

You were going to say no. you were going to cry out and say that you were going to die because you kept thinking about Jongho. You couldn't even kiss a hot guy, a guy you wanted to date, without thinking how much better it felt with Jongho. Everything felt better with him. It was comfortable, unnerving, exciting, all at the same time.

You smiled, but with how drunk you were, you could assume that it looked like a grimace. “I uh, yeah, I just gotta….go do something—-bye,” you huffed out, offering him a little, awkward wave, before you ran out of the spinning room.

You ended up on the back porch, not sure how you got there, but the world was spinning. Your chest was aching. You needed air, anything, you needed to breathe.

The cool air hit you just right, enveloping your lungs, helping you breathe. Your skin was hot, flaming underneath your clothes, and you were sure your cheeks were bright red. After noticing a couple making out in the corner, you grimaced and ran back into the house.

God, what a shitshow.

You avoided seonghwa narrowly, making your way up the creaky, thin staircase to get your own space. You opened the first door you got to, tossed yourself in, and slammed your back against the door with a sigh of relief.

That relief didn't last long.

“y/n, what the hell?” Jongho nearly screeched, turning his body slightly as he stood over the toilet, zipping up his pants in a frenzy. “The fuck? Don't you know how to knock?”

You didn't say anything. You just took a deep breath, your gaze falling over him.

“y/n?” He repeated, standing a bit awkwardly on the other side of the room, leaning over to flush the toilet. He looked a bit rough around the edges as he washed his hands quickly, looking over at you as he dried them. He walked up to you now, hesitantly, unsure about your expression.

You fiddled with your fingers as the world slowed around you.

“Are you gonna talk?” He scoffed playfully, his eyes raking your body, forcing themselves up to your face. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you swallowed, shaking your head, the door behind you the only thing holding you up.

He gave you a concerned look, running a damp hand through his silky hair, and you couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be to rake your hands through it, too. “No, that you're not okay, or no, that you’re not gonna talk?

You blinked. “....yes.”

He sighed. His eyes looked hazy, not quite to the extent yours probably looked, but still, he was not in his right mind, either. You took a shaky breath, watching those brown irises fall to your lips, to your chest. 

You clench your fingers together, your body, dying to do something your heart would regret. You swallowed hard, sighing.

“Aren’t you acting like this because you have something to say?” He asked, his words dripping like honey from his lips.

You shook your head. “No.”

He looked like he was fighting a smile. “I think you are.”

“No, I’m not–I’m not acting like this because I have something to say.” Your mind was already screaming at you, begging you not to do anything. Begging you not to say anything. “Because I want to do something.”

The air was stuffy. The bathroom was filthy, the window was cracked open, blowing in a slight breeze, gently running up your arms, sending chills down your spine. 

Jongho tilted his head. “To do what?”

The vodka in your basically vodka-virgin body was bubbling under your skin, infiltrating your mind, your blood. It was taking control over your every move, every idea, everything. So when he asked you that, when he looked like the most beautiful person in the world as he spoke, with his pretty ass hair and his lips and his flushed cheeks, you knew what you wanted to do.

“To kiss you,” you didn't stutter. You stayed put against the door despite your words. “I just wanna do it again. Every time I look at you, I want to do it.”

Jongho’s eyes widened, but he didn't run away like you thought he would. He just stood there, breathlessly, his hands at his sides and his mouth parted. It’s like he wanted to do it too, with the way his fingers twitched as you spoke, with the way his lips almost curled up completely. 

You pushed off the door, taking a step towards him. When he didn't back away, you took another step. You were so close to him that you were able to feel the soft, hot breaths he was letting out against your skin. His breath smelled like that disgusting beer, but it didn't matter at all—actually, you wanted to taste it on his lips, on his tongue.

You reached out a hand, the room spinning around you. Your fingertips met his cheek, his hot skin. You felt a surge of electricity run through your body as you touched him, as you looked into his eyes. His gaze was unlike anything else you have ever seen. His eyes were zeroed in on you, shutting slowly as you rubbed your hand against his skin. He let out a soft breath, a content sigh, and his eyes were on yours again.

He took in a breath, eyes on your lips. You were too drunk to think about how the look on his face made no sense—friends shouldn't look at each other the way he was looking at you.

You leaned forward, and when he didn't flinch away, when he actually leaned forward as well, you smiled to yourself, and pressed your lips to his.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his body to yours. His hips knocked into yours, his mouth parting, swallowing you whole. He shoved you against the sink, the countertop stabbing the small of your back, but you felt absolutely no pain. You arched your body into his, as if it were instinct, and his hands ravaged your bare skin. He was desperate, trying to catch his breath as best he could while he kissed you. 

Your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers tightening in his brown hair. He let out a little moan into your mouth, his hands caging you in against the sink. Accidentally, his forehead bumped yours, causing you to bite his lip. 

You pulled away, but just for a moment, smiling at him, at the redness of his lips from your gloss and your bite. He looked breathtaking in front of you, so human, so perfect. So you leaned in to kiss him again, nose knocking into his, but it didn't matter if you were sloppy. It just mattered that he was the one you were kissing. 

“y/n,” he breathed against your lips, his hands now on your hips, one curving around your ass. “We shouldn't be doing this—”

“Shh,” you hissed, slapping his shoulder, keeping your lips against his. “I don't care right now.”

You deepened the kiss, and as he pressed up against you, you felt something hard press into you; you felt a deep rumble from him into your mouth. The pool between your thighs.

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened. Mingi stood there, his jaw down to the floor, as he took in the scene in front of him. Jongho must not have heard the door, as his hands were still clawing at you like a goddamn animal, his lips on your neck now. You quickly gripped Jongho’s shoulders and pushed him away.

“What? You just said—” He took notice of where you were looking, turning his head to see Mingi’s shocked expression. “Oh.”

“Oh, dear god!” Mingi looked like he couldn't hide the smile peeking through his lips. “I knew it!”

Jongho took a whole century taking his hands off you, finally stepping away, leaving you cold, empty. “It’s not what you think—”

Mingi threw his hands up in the air, smirking. “Ay, I didn't see anything. Carry on.”

With one last look, Mingi shut the door, leaving you alone with Jongho. The feeling in the room was completely different from a moment ago.

“I….” he started, then sighed, unable to look at you. “I gotta go.”

“Jongho—” You went to move toward him, but he left the bathroom as quickly as he could, stumbling into the doorframe, and out of sight. You were left to your own devices, standing in the middle of the bathroom, hair a mess, lips bright and painful, and a mark on your neck from your best friend.

If you could call him that…

—

It’s as if he disappeared.

You haven't seen Jongho in days. You were even too nervous to go to his room this time, not knowing how to approach him after kissing him like that. After you felt the hardness of his cock against your stomach. The wetness between your thighs. Something you have never felt before.

After a few, empty, lonely nights in your room, you took the initiative to go find him at the late hour of midnight—To ask if he feels this intense craving for you just like you do for him. But when you arrived at his dorm, San told you he wasn't there.

“He’s been super sick. I thought he was with you,” He shrugged, confused.

“He’s sick?” your eyes widened. 

San nodded, messy hair from sleep. “Sorry, maybe he’s with Mingi?”

After your encounter with San, you made your way to Mingi’s dorm. But, once again, Jongho was nowhere to be found.

So you went to the only place you thought to look.

And there he was, under the bright lights, taking a shot at the three-point line on the courts near the rec center. He missed the shot and stood there a moment before going to grab his rebound.

But the ball rolled to where you were, as if it meant to. Jongho stood still as you grabbed the ball.

He stayed silent. You weren't sure whether to move closer or just pass him the ball back.

“Are you going to give me it?” He spoke blandly, sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold air surrounding him.

You sighed, putting the ball under your arm. “Jongho, it’s cold out here.”

He sniffed, his nose red. He didn't look at you. “Just give me the ball, dammit.”

You blinked, watching the cold air show as you exhaled. “Why are you ignoring me?”

He rolled his eyes, taking in a breath. “Dammit, y/n—”

“You’re doing it on purpose,” you began to dribble the ball—very sloppily, but it didn't matter. You dribbled past him towards the hoop, tossing the ball up, watching it go through the net. “Ignoring me, I mean.”

“No, I’m not,” he huffed, moving to grab the ball from your shot. He made his way back up to the top of the key, away from you.

“Yes, you are.” you walked up to him, putting your hand out so he couldn't shoot. “Just be honest!”

With a huff of cold air, jongho tossed the ball away, an aggravated look on his face. “For fuck’s sake, y/n, Yes. I’m annoyed.”

You blinked, standing only a few feet away from him. “Why?” you asked, probably stupidly, given the irritated look on his face.

He sighed, tightening his hands into fists. “...Because….because I’m a man, too, you know.” he started, running his hands through his hair aggressively, clenching his jaw. “ You change in front of me, kiss me, do everything that causes my brain to spin. I’m sick of acting like I'm okay with it.”

You stood there, frozen. The air felt even colder as winter wrapped its arms around your bare skin.

“Does that mean you didn't like it?” you wondered out loud, possibly too immature, too inexperienced. You had no idea what you were feeling, why you felt this way. All you knew is that you wanted to spend every moment with him, to kiss him, to lay in bed with him. Things you did normally, but things felt different. 

“Didn't like what?” He asked, his eyes wide.

“The kiss,” you looked into his eyes. “The kisses.”

Jongho stood tensely, unsure of what to do. You watched his eyes flicker up to the sky as little flurries fell, catching themselves in his hair.

“y/n,” he took a sharp breath in. “don't you get it? I can't kiss you. You can't kiss me. You can't….touch me like that, change in front of me, and not expect me to get flustered!” He nearly shouted the last part, and turned to the side away from you, aggravated beyond words.

“I….I’m sorry,” you spoke out, taking a step towards him. “I’m sorry that I feel this way—”

“Feel what?” he scoffed, turning back to you, a pained smirk on his lips. “You should be sorry for making me feel this….for causing me so many headaches, for god sake why the fuck am I out here when it’s fucking snowing, jesus christ you piss me off—”

“Jongho,” you interrupted his freakout, his word vomit. He stared at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “What are you trying to say?” you spoke in a small voice.

His eyes were frantic, going back and forth from eye to eye. “I…. can't do this.”

“Do what?” you felt the flurries dance against your skin, dance as they fell around you.

“I can't act like your friend anymore.” He bit his lip. “You have no idea what you do to me. What you’ve been doing to me.”

You took a step closer, but he backed away.

“I don't understand—”

“Just go,” He pleaded. 

“You do things to me too!” you groaned, finally done with his attitude. “Will you knock it off? You’re not the only one confused here—”

“Oh, I confuse you?” He looked at you like you had two heads. “I’m sorry, I only kissed you because you were trying to get another guy. I kissed you so you could know how to do it, but you want to know something?” He paused, suddenly right up on you, the space gone between you. “I haven't kissed anyone either. I just…you. It’s just been you! I didn't know what I was doing, either!”

“Is that so bad?” you pleaded, your eyes bleeding into his. “Is it so bad that you had to kiss me? Should I apologize for wanting to do it again? That I haven't stopped thinking about you since?” you frantically looked into his eyes. 

“Just…” Jongho sighed, his eyes a bit watery. “Lleave me be.” 

The look on his face was enough. You took a step back, and then another. 

“I won't apologize for my feelings, for whatever this feeling is,” you admitted. “But I am sorry I caused you trouble.” before you left him there, you looked up to him once more, snow falling around you. “Good luck at your game, tomorrow.”

You turned on your heel, not understanding a single thing that just unfolded, that was just said. He made no sense; you made none, either. It was just a bunch of words, unnecessary words, rifting your friendship. But one thing was for certain—you couldn't repair this without a few missing pieces. 

Jongho stood as still as a statue as he watched you walk away.

—

You sat on the bench in your cheerleading uniform, your heart beating a mile a minute as you watched the game unfold in front of you. 

It was approaching halftime. Jongho was sprinting down the sideline, limping slightly as he moved. He passed the ball beautifully to San, who was wide open for the layup. 

You couldn't focus on anything—didn't even cheer when San made the shot. You just sat and stared into space, your eyes following jongho, watching his wince as he backed up down the court. 

“He’s hurt,” you muttered under your breath, stomach tightening. 

Jongho continued playing his heart out, but you knew something was wrong. However, as halftime came, he walked away from the court just fine and into the locker room, not giving you a single passing glance as he walked past you. Seonghwa did, however, but you weren't even paying attention to that.

After a few long moments, the team came back out. You had to cheer, but your heart wasn't in it. Jongho, once again, walked right by you, and when you were about to jump up and ignore everything that was said yesterday to make sure you were okay, the buzzer rang. 

The game went on, the score going back and forth until the last quarter. Jongho stood at mid-court, calling a play, but the guy guarding him was aggressive. He tried to make a move around him, squeaking his sneakers against the hardwood, but it was no use. The defender followed him with ease, sliding his feet in perfect position.

The gym was in hysterics as Jongho pushed for the bucket, taking a side step into a euro step, but suddenly, oh so suddenly, Jongho crashed to the ground in a thud before getting the shot off.

The gym went silent. Jongho hissed in pain, his eyebrows knit tight. The athletic trainer ran out to see him as the game was put on hold with less than a minute to go. You stood up, not even realizing what you were doing. All you could feel was a pain in your chest as you saw him hurt, the intense feeling to take his pain away. You watched in despair as he was lifted off the floor, as he was carried out of the gym.

You swallowed hard, your ears ringing. Your teammates tried to get you focused, as the game was going to continue, but you jumped up and pushed through, making your way to the locker room desperately. 

“Jongho?” you panted, turning the corner to enter the boy's locker room. You sucked in a breath as you see him in pain, lying down on the bench, a few others around him as he nearly cried in pain. 

“Jongho!” you cried out, rushing to his side. His eyes were frantic, wide, a mess. The trainer took off his knee brace slowly as you approached. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Jongho met your gaze through his watery eyes, every other emotion gone other than…whatever this was. He almost let out a sigh of relief as he saw you. You knelt down next to him, gripping his hand, and he held yours tighter. 

“y/n,” he murmured, sucking in a sharp breath as the trainer surveyed his leg. “Did I…did I do it again? Please tell me I didn't—”

You looked at the man who was assessing his injury. “Did he tear it again?” you panicked, remembering how awful this was for him back then. How traumatizing it was, how horrible it was for him to gain his strength again. You couldn't stand to see him in pain.

“I…I don't know,” the man admitted. “It’s too swollen to tell. You’ll need to get this checked out—”

“Goddammit,” Jongho hissed, shutting his eyes tightly, and swallowing hard. That was when you realized that it might not even be the pain from the injury—no, it was his trauma. The memory of his hard work all down the drain. 

“I’m here,” you breathed, tucking his hair behind his ear and away from his face. “It’ll be okay.”

The buzzer rang, and screams followed. Jongho looked at you, not a care in the world other than that you were there with him, just like before.

“You’ll be alright,” you repeated softly, your heart aching at his pain. “This will be okay.”

—

“From the MRI, it looks like everything is still intact,” the doctor spoke with a tone of arrogance. “You did weaken your surgical graft, however. You’ll need some PT and rest.”

Jongho stared down at his leg, his hand still gripping yours. He breathed a sigh of relief but didn't say anything else. 

“I’ll write up a referral for that, so just hold on a moment.”

You were left in silence in the middle of the emergency room, Jongho sitting up straight on the bed with a big icepack on top of his knee. He was starting right at it, his lips downturned.

You wanted to ease his troubles. To make him feel better. Nothing felt worse than seeing him like this.

You didn't know what to say. You really couldn't say anything. You were so overwhelmed with the pain you felt as you looked at him as if it were your own. You hated his tears that begged to fall and never did.

“Hey,” you mumbled softly, squeezing his hand. It took him a minute to move his gaze to you, and when he did, his eyes spoke a thousand words. “See? It will be okay.”

He sighed, his face contorting as he fought his tears. “I…I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you weren't thinking of anything else other than what was in front of you. You rubbed your thumb against his knuckles, trying to soothe him.

“For how I acted.” He looked down at your hands, how yours was touching his, how his fingers were tight around yours. He didn't want to let go—neither did you. “I was just upset.”

“I know,” you nodded, swallowing. “I was, too.”

He looked into your eyes. “y/n, I…” he paused, the beeping of his heart rate speeding up in the background. “I just don't know why I acted like that I…I guess I got caught up in how I feel about you, and it confused me.”

You blinked. “How do you feel about me?”

He let out an uneasy laugh. “Isn't it obvious?”

You shook your head. “I… don't really know much of anything. Much of these feelings,” you acknowledged, biting your bottom lip anxiously. 

He let out a genuine laugh. “Me too.”

“So, how do you feel?” You tucked a piece of your hair that fell loose from your bow, suddenly aware of how much of a wreck you probably looked like. You were still in your cheer uniform, Jongho in his basketball one, and you were sure you had smeared mascara everywhere. “About me, I mean.”

He took in a sharp breath. “This isn't fair, I’m like, high from pain meds. I don't know what i’m saying.”

You smiled widely, feeling such immense love for the man in front of you.

Oh shit.

Are you….in love?

“All I know is that I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you,” He chuckled anxiously. “I don't understand why, and it's just increasingly worse after you keep kissing me, it's making my head spin.”

Jongho yawned slightly after his somewhat confession, his eyes fluttering. 

He was so pretty. So, so pretty. You wanted to sleep with him. Next to him, cuddle with him, kiss his face, his eyelids, his cheeks, his everything. You wanted him to do everything to you that you dreamed of.

Oh fuck, you definitely are in love with him.

“Holy fuck—” you paused, staring at him, wide eyed at your realization.

“What?” He furrowed his brows.

You tried to control your overwhelming thoughts. “I just realized something…” you met his gaze, holding onto it tightly. “Are we…are we in love? I mean, I think at least I might be—”

“Holy shit, we might be,” Jongho gulped, a knowing smile curling at his lips. As if he knew this, at least on his end, for much longer than you have. He looked at you, then at his leg, and back at you. “Are you in love with me?”

“I think so?” you questioned, your chest aching. Jongho’s heart began to beat faster and faster, as seen on the monitor next to him. You leaned towards him, blushing as his heart rate jumped over one hundred. 

Jongho let out an anxious laugh. “You sound super confident.”

You would've kissed him right then and there, prove to him that you loved him, if it wasn't for that awful doctor. 

You helped jongho hobble out of the hospital, his leg wrapped in ice and his arms wrapped around you. You were hyper aware of the smell of sweat, the light remnant of his woodsy cologne. You heard his breath hitch as your fingertips curled around his arm as you walked toward the street for a cab.

“God, standing up really messed me up.” he wobbled a bit. “I don't know what they gave me, but fuck, I feel wonderful,” he giggled, nudging his head into the crook of your neck.

There was a mix of comfort and chaos as you got in the cab, his head on your shoulder, his hair a mess. His arm was slung over you, his eyes closed, his lips parted against your collarbone. He felt comforting, yes, but also his damn lips started to move against your skin.

“Jongho,” you breathed, trying to keep quiet as the cab driver carried on. “Stop it—”

“Mmmh,” he groaned into your neck, kissing it again, trailing up towards your jawline. 

“The fuck, did they give you viagra?” you nearly choked as his hand that was around your shoulder fell to your waist, tightening on the curve above your hip. His hand moved lower, past your hip, meeting the curve right before he could reach your—

“Hey,” you whisper yelled, smacking his cheek lightly. 

He opened his eyes, those brown irises sparkling despite the dark car. “Oh, its y/n,” he smiled, meeting your gaze, but you watched it fall to your lips. “You look pretty.”

You scoffed. “You don't know what you're talking about right now—”

“Oh, I do,” he smiled lopsidedly, his hand now coming up to cradle your cheek. “I know what i’m doing.”

You smirked. “I think you’re loopy.”

“Maybe a little,” he shrugged, smiling, his eyes curving into smiles too. “But I know what I want to do.”

You tilted your head, raising your brows. “And what’s that?”

He smiled villianously, teeth barred. “Do you really want to know?”

You held in your laugh, but managed to nod.

He took in a breath, letting it out in an exaggerated sigh. “I want to fuck you so bad,” he huffed, his head falling right back onto your shoulder. “So, so bad. I’ve always wanted to—”

“Jongho,” you blinked. “You’re high from pain meds, you don't know what you're—”

“Oh, but I do know,” he sat up quickly, eyes dazed, hair a mess on top of his head. He reached out a hand, tucking your hair behind your ears with a boyish smile. He focused on your face, on your eyes, your lips. His expression changed, his smile falling. “I wanted to tell you about how I feel about you.”

You bit your lip. “You did.” 

He waved a hand, flopping it around. “Nah, I didn't.”

“Yes, don't you remember?” you scoffed playfully. “We just had this whole talk like twenty minutes ago—”

“Aye, stop it, I had something to say but now I forgot!” he groaned, tossing his head back against the headrest. He then turned his head to your direction. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?”

“You just did,” you smiled.

“Oh, that’s right.” he swallowed, looking at your lips. “Did I ever tell you that I want to kiss you? Like, all the time?”

You shook your head, giving up on the fight against his high ass. 

“Well, I just want to kiss you, over and over again, and then when you started kissing me, I think I went crazy,” he blinked slowly, eyes covering every inch of your face. He leaned forward. “You really fucked me up, you know?”

You frowned. “Did I?”

“Pfft,” he huffed. “Are you kidding? You would change in front of me, lay in bed with me, touch me, everything I….” he swallowed hard. “How was I supposed to react to your tits? Your ass? You think i’ve never gotten hard from it?” you wanted to shut his nonsense up, but he kept going on. “I’ve had to literally leave just to jack off so you didn't find out—”

“Woah, woah,” you rose your eyebvrows. “You’re a mess right now, youll regret what you’re saying tomorrow—”

“I wont,” he sniffed, eyes meeting yours. “I’m done with acting like I don't think about you naked—”

“Jongho, shut it, we’re not alone—”

“We should be alone so I can do everything I want to you,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple. “God, I want to do everything to you.”

You wanted to push him away. You wanted to tell him no—but…his lips, his words, his breath felt so good, so intoxicating. He pressed a kiss to your jaw, to the corner of your lips. “Can we fuck now?”

You closed your eyes, taking in a breath. “The hell is wrong with you? We’re in a cab—”

He ignored you, his lips continuing to find their way around your face. “When we get back?”

You looked down at his knee, how it was wrapped, how much pain it had caused him. “You just hurt your leg, and you’re not in your right mind.”

“Oh, i’m completely in my right mind,” he kissed your ear, letting a little breath of air tickle you. “I’ve wanted this forever.”

You sighed, your breath shaking, your chest tight. You had absolutely no experience—you’ve never had sex, never did anything with a man other than what you were doing now, and the little kiss you gave seonghwa. 

“I’m a virgin,” you whispered softly, embarrased. However, you felt the most comfortable with jongho. He was your everything.

“So am I,” he admitted, smiling. “We can learn together.”

“God, we’re so lame,” you breathed, smiling. 

Jongho, however, did not care about any words. He nuzzled into your collarbone, pressing a kiss there, over and over again. 

“So, does that mean we can have sex?”

—

You assisted jongho into your building, helping him into the elevator and pressing your floor while he leaned against the wall. 

The silence was deafening. You were sure he was able to hear your heart beat through your chest.

As the doors closed, you let a sigh out. 

“y/n,” he breathed. Behind you, his eyes were on you.

“Hm?” you hummed, afraid to turn to him, afraid of what you would do, what he would do. 

“I love you,” he spoke. 

You’ve both basically said it only an hour before. Only then, it didn't feel real. Now, maybe it was the fact that Jongho’s eyes have cleared up, his expression was raw. He looked nervous, he looked anxious. This was all new, all foreign—but Jongho wasn't new, wasn't different. He’s always been him, been by your side, your rock, your everything.

“I….love you too, dummy.”

When the elevator reached your floor, it took you a second to move. You helped him down the hall, and when you reached your door, you paused.

“Do you…want to…” you trailed off, unsure if that was only the drugs talking earlier.

When you turned to jongho, he had a sinister smile on his face. 

“You mean,” he nodded toward your room. “What I think you mean?”

“Well, jeez,” you scoffed, turning around to open your door. “As if you weren't the one all over me in the cab—”

A second later, you both stood in the entrance of your room, both of your hearts beating like crazy.

He entered the room after you, slowly shutting the door. The room was dark—you weren't even trying to turn the lights on.

You turned to jongho, watching him stand with his fists at his sides, his fingers gripping the fabric of his basketball shorts.

“How do we…” you took in a sharp breath, meeting his gaze. His eyes were wide, dripping with love, lust, with so much. You weren't sure if they always looked like that, if they looked at you like that. Those eyes….

“Let’s just, he winced a bit as he stepped closer. “Just stay where you are.”

When he got close enough, you saw the worry in his expression. The hesitancy, the love. He looked up, and his eyes spoke a thousand unspeakable words. His hand reached out, pausing at the hem of your cheerleading uniform. 

You let out an anxious laugh at his face, as he looked so conflicted. You didn't say anything though, and after a moment, he tugged your top right over your head, grinning like a goofball at the red lacy bra you had on.

“For me?” he murmured, his hand subconsciously drifting to run over your skin, his fingertips pressing against the thin fabric of your bra. He met your gaze, his jaw tightening.

You reached for his top now, the loose jersey easily pulling over his head—the jersey that was hiding the soft curves of muscle. You’ve seen him shirtless many times, an unimaginable amount of times—but this time, it was different. You ran a hand down the pane of his chest, across the mounds of muscle, down his soft but muscular frame. He was perfect, absolutely sexy, breathtaking, gorgeous. 

He shivered under your touch, meeting your gaze. He moved to take his shorts off, but winced. “Hold on, i’ll take them off—” but you both leaned down at the same time, crashing your heads together, causing a storm of laughter.

“God, we’re so not good at this,” He chuckled, smiling bright even in the dark room.

“No, not really,” you grinned, reaching down at his hips, pulling his shorts off, tugging a bit at the erection that bulged out. You held in your pride, the fact that he was already so turned on by just taking your clothes off.

His shorts fell down to his ankles, his underwear with them, leaving him completely naked, completely vulnerable in front of you. He looked at you with those damn eyes, those irises that held every emotion possible for you.

You took a second to take him in, his thickness, his length. You swallowed hard, suddenly aware that…that would go inside you, and it would probably tear your virgin self to shreds.

He then gripped the waistband of your skirt, tugging you to him. He was slightly taller than you, so when your body hit his, you felt his cock against your lower stomach, feeling a pulsing ache in your body. His fingers glided against the bare skin of your waist as he pulled your skirt over your hips, and when they fell, you were left standing in your mismatched underwear, begging him to take it off of you, too.

However, he just stood there like a deer in headlights, staring at the curves of your body, and the smoothness of your skin. His mouth parted, his eyes grew wide, and his hands twitched to touch you, to ravage you, to swallow you whole as if you were roadkill and he was a vulture.

An anxious vulture.

He reached around you, the heat of his body warming you, and his hands clasped around the clip of your bra. He fiddled with it for a good moment, and as he started getting irritated that he couldn't get it, you laughed. “Goddamn this thing has you locked up like fort knox—”

“Do you want me to get it—”

“No, no, i’ll be extremely embarassed, let me do it.” he continued to try to get it off you, and finally, it fell off you, onto the ground, and Jongho stood with a proud smile on his lips. “Fuck yeah, finally.”

But, right after his words of triumph, his eyes fell to your full breasts. His eyes widened, and he gave into his desires, letting himself grab one, calloused fingers gliding against your nipple.

“Oh, fuck y/n,” he breathed, both his hands coming up to cradle your breasts, to feel you up. He took in a breath, eyes unable to leave your body. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”

He dipped his head, taking in a breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue over your nipple. You felt your stomach tighten, felt your wetness pool at your thighs. He looked up to your eyes as he sucked, and when he saw your ecstatic expression, he quickly pulled away.

He didn't spare an extra second to claw at your underwear, satisfyingly watching them fall to the ground, leaving you both completely naked in the middle of the room. He looked at you, love dripping from his chocolate eyes.

And thats when you gripped the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I don't do this very well,” you admitted, twirling your fingers in his hair. He didn't seem to even hear what you said as his eyes remained on your lips.

“God, we cant be friends anymore,” he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, he hesitated, lips hovering over yours, his breath shaky, tangling with yours. “Definetly not, fuck.”

You tilted your chin forward, lips so close, so so close. His hands found your hips, fingernails leaving marks in your skin. 

And with one last look into your eyes, jongho sighed, letting go of everything. He pressed his soft lips to yours, taking you in like he hasn't kissed you before. Like he’s always wanted to. He breathed into you, moving his hands to cradle your face, to get as close to you as possible. 

You arched your body against his, bucking your hips into his, and he grunted in response. You fell backwards onto the bed, him on top of you, but as you fell, he bit your lip so hard you let out a little yelp.

“Oh shit,” he gasped, parting from you, eyes wide with worry. “Are you okay? Did that hurt? I didn't mean to do that—-”

“Shh, shut your face,” you patted him on the cheek, giggling at his reaction. 

He adjusted himself on top of you. “Here, make sure you’re head’s on your pillow, I want you to be comfortable.” he adjusted you, too, and he looked so sincere and serious it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?” he asked, but couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, too. “Stop, this is serious.”

You laughed even more. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really cute.” you watched his eyes twinkle as he looked at you. “And you look so pretty on top of me.”

He smirked, holding back his giggle. “Stop it.”

“I’m just saying,” you reached a hand out to wrap around his neck, tugging his lips right back down to yours, kissing him softly. “Mhm. I cant get enough of this.”

He smiled into the kiss. “Me neither, I cant believe you’re under me right now.”

You couldn't help the blush that heated your cheeks. You were suddenly aware of his dick against your thighs, of your skin against his. You looked into his eyes, looked at how they were looking at you, how he held himself over you. 

And then, after a look of utter love, he smiled and kissed you. This time, he stuck his tongue into your mouth, running over the ridges of the roof of your mouth. You opened your mouth wider, deepening the kiss, knocking your nose against his. 

His lips parted as he gasped for air, his chest heaved against yours. His hand delicately glided up your ribs, meeting the skin of your breasts. He gripped your breast in his hand, moaning into your mouth, hips bucking into yours. You couldve sworn you felt his heartbeat through his chest as he made out with you, as his hands covered you. He pulled away only to make sure you still wanted this, and when you nodded, he reached down to line himself up with you. The concept of sex always felt so difficult. So worrisome, so new. But with jongho, it felt like you've done this forever.

“If it hurts, tell me,” he whispered against your lips, kissing you gently. “I’ll take care of you.”

You literally couldve came at those words. You swallowed hard, and forced out a nod.

He pecked your lips, smiling, kissing them again. His hands hesitated, not knowing what to touch as his tip pressed into your cunt, his breath shortening, sweat dripping down his forehead.

You reached out, gliding a hand across his cheek, across his lips, smiling up at him.

“I….” he hesitated before entering you. “Are you wet enough? Should I spit?”

He looked terrified. Absolutely terrified. So you ran a hand soothingly through his hair, watching his eyes shut tight in pleasure, in delight. “Don't worry about anything and just do it.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, letting out a little laugh. “Okay, okay.”

And then, his eyes bled into yours as he tilted his hips, pushing his cock slowly into you, so gently, as if he was terrified of hurting you. You watched his mouth part, watched his expression change to euphoria as he filled you, every inch sparking a new feeling. 

He snapped his hips, his length fully in you, and you nearly cried out from the feeling. You moaned as he moved slowly, clawing at his shoulders, this feeling unlike anything else—your damn vibrator held nothing on Jongho.

He relaxed his expression, his eyes fluttering open, looking right down on you. You met his gaze as he moved in and out of you.

“Does it hurt, if it hurts, I can stop—”

“Shut the hell up and fuck me, jongho,” you grumbled, your hands finding a home on his hips, the feeling of them snapping under your hands sent you spiraling. You moaned as his dick reached a new spot, as you felt your walls tighten around him. You wanted to cry out, rip your hair out, tear at his skin as you felt the intense crave for him. The way he looked down on you fueled the fire in your hips, in your back. You felt an ache in your hips, slamming your head back, fighting the urge to claw the bedsheets.

But then you sae his grimace, and you frowned. “Oh my god, you’re knee, you’re in pain.”

He kept moving, but he was definitely in pain. “I-I think the meds wore off—”

Without thinking, you pushed him off you, making him roll over so now he was the one on th bottom. You straddled him, looking at his shocked expression, how his breaths quickened, how his cock twitched for you. To be inside you. 

You had an unimaginable amount of knowledge from all your smutty books, so you might as well try to use what you know, right?

“y/n, what are you—”

“Let me please you,” you breathed, and with a slow, calculative movement, you sat on his dick, sliding his length into you, once again gaining the extreme pleasure of his expression and the absolute desperation he expressed. He gasped as you moved up and down on his cock, and he watched you, watched him dissapear into you. He slammed his head back into the pillow, his face contorting, moans fluttering through his lips, his eyebrows knitting together in pleasure and a million other things.

“God, fuck,” his hands gripped your hips as you rode him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his breaths shallow. He gasped for air. “You feel so good, oh my god. So fucking good.”

You tossed your head back, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smoothness of it. He blinked up at you, a smile on his lips, completely in bliss.

He moved his hands with you, nearly lifting you up as you moved on his cock, moved on his body. You forgot how strong he was.

“You sure you’ve never done this?” he gasped, his eyes shut tight. “Because fuck, this is better than I ever imagined.”

You smiled down on him, giddy at his words. You moved even faster, causing him to moan, and moan, and moan.

You didn't even know what to say—you just enjoyed his little commentary as he took you in, his gaze dripping like honey.

“Godamn,” he hissed, eyes meeting yours. He looked frantic. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he seethed, hips slamming up into yours. “Fuck, you’re so hot, so so hot.”

You felt him twitch inside you, felt your walls collapse. You began to see spots in your vision as he moved his hips, too, just as you were. You felt so much pride as he looked absolutely pathetic underneath you, his gaze hazy, his lips bright red from your kisses.

“I love you, I…love you,” he hissed out. “I love you.”

You reached your climax just from looking at him, crying out in a moan, leaning forward over his body. His hands flooded all over you, sending sparks at every touch, every spot of your body. And when you came, when you felt the rush of cum, the rush of the high finally hit, you continued to move as he did. Then, suddenly, his eyes grew so wide, he lifted you off his cock hastily, gasping for air.

You leaned back on his legs, onto your heels, trying to breathe, trying to see, as his hands grasped his own dick, moving up and down before he came, his cum shooting onto you, over your chest, your boobs, your stomach. You watched him gasp as it happened, his lips curling up in an embarrassed smile.

“Oh, oops,” he laughed, looking absolutely delectable with the hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes wide with pleasure. “Totally meant to do that….”

Something burned under your skin, something foreign, something you never felt before. You’ve only read about this feeling, this moment. But now, here you were. You just had sex, sex with your best friend, and it was the best thing you’ve ever felt before. You needed more, so so much more.

“Please tell me we can do that again,” you breathed, falling onto him, sticking to him, feeling the beat of his heart as you pressed your ear to his chest.

“Oh, fuck yes,” his hand wrapped around you, holding you to him. He pressed a gentle, exasperated his to the top of your head. “You don't even have to ask that, i’m planning on doing that all night.”

You moved a bit so you could lay against his side, totally forgetting about the cum on you that now got all over the place. “You seemed like you knew what you were doing for a virgin,” you side eyed him. “You have to be lying.”

He smirked, a light blush on his cheeks. “Uh, well,” he swallowed, eyes looking all over your face. “I mean, I have been thinking about what I would do if I ever got to sleep with you.”

You furrowed your brows. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Well I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted,” he looked down at your lips, at your body pressed to his. “Because of my damn knee, but,” he pressed a kiss to your nose. “That means we have to do this again.”

“Oh, baby,” you pinched his cheek. “We’ll be doing this way more than we probably should.”

He smiled, that blush still on his face, across his nose. He looked so beautiful, so so pretty, it actually hurt you to look at him.

You kissed him, kissed his lips, his nose, his flushed cheeks. 

And you looked at him, at his eyes, the same eyes you’ve known forever. 

“I love you, Jongho.”

—

The next morning, you parted ways with a sleepy jongho, late for your early class. You couldn't stop thinking about him all day, that is, until you ran into Mingi and San in the library cafe.

Mingi grinned like the cheshire cat, an eye smile brighter than the sun. “Well, hello there, you.”

You rolled your eyes as the line for the coffee moved. San and Mingi stood behind you, giggling like little kids.

“So, Jongho didn't come back last night,” San started, and you quickly cut in.

“So? He always stays in my room, its not anything odd—”

“Oh, sweetie,” Mingi crossed his arms, grinning. “But it is odd.”

“Why?” you crossed your arms, too, facing him. San stood by with a little chuckle.

“Because he came back to the room before his class and his jersey was on inside out—”

“So? He likes to sleep shirtless—”

“His lips were covered in red lipstick—”

“I don't know what you were talking about—”

“Oh, and he told me that he had sex with you—”

You slammed a hand against San’s mouth, giving him a death glare while mingi giggled like a school girl. You grimaced, pulling your hand away. “Shut up, or i’ll make you.”

“Ooh, so scary,” San waved his hands in the air dramatically. “Anyway, are you dating him now? You better date him, he’s been dreaming of that for so long.”

You blinked. “I mean, we said we loved each other, but nothing about dating….”

Mingi smirked. “Welp, guess you better go figure that out.”

After class, you found yourself in front of Jongho’s door, a shake in your breath as you knocked. He opened the door, shirtless, a smile on his face the minute he met your gaze.

And then he grabbed you by the waist and planted a big kiss onto your lips, smiling into it, and then pulled away.

“Hi,” you smiled.

“Hi.” he tilted his head, looking you up and down.

“I heard you told San everything.”

He bit his lip. “Was I supposed to keep it to myself?”

You shook your head, smiling.

“Do you want to come in?” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mhm,” you nodded, following him in.

The minute the door shut, Jongho slammed you up against it, swallowing you whole with his mouth as he kissed you. His hands gripped the side of your head, tugging at your hair, causing you to let out a hiss. He took the opportunity of your open mouth to shove his tongue into you, exploring your mouth with pleasure. He moaned into you, and you couldn't help but moan yourself.

His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you up, slamming your back into the door as he held you to him. He then started to walk towards his bed, but you realized his injury.

“Jongho, you’re leg,” you breathed with worry, trying to get him to put you down. “You’ll hurt yourself—”

“Shut up,” he spoke into your mouth, indeed shutting you up immediately. You sighed as he kissed you, as he touched you. He gently set you down onto his bed, and you went under his duvet since he kept his room like an icebox. 

He followed you suit, crawling on top of you under the covers, but you had a better idea. Once again, you flipped him so he was on his back, and with one quick look at the shock in his gaze, you kissed his collarbone, then his chest, down his sternum, over the soft muscle of his stomach. You slowly pulled his pants down over his cock, his underwear along with them.

You felt his muscles tighten underneath your lips, you heard his breath hitch as you moved lower and lower, until your lips met the soft skin of his hard cock. He gasped his hands searching for you under the covers, his legs moving in pleasure as you licked his tip.

“Oh my…oh…” he arched his back against your kiss, your hands holding onto his hips as you surrounded your mouth around his erection. He thrashed against you, absolutely liquid in your embrace.

But before you could take him fully, the door of his room opened, and in came san blabbing about god knows what.

You quickly moved, trying to lay flat the best you could to hide. Jongho sat up fast, pulling the blanket up and bunching it around his dick, making sure it wasn't so obvious that you were under there….and that he was literally throbbing hard.

“I ran into y/n earlier, she admitted to it!” san roared, and you assumed he was taking his shoes off considering the sound. “Good for you buddy, I know how long you wanted to tap that—”

“Ah, yeah,” Jongho awkwardly laughed. You wish you could see the look on his face, the embarrassment. Just how long did he want you?

You couldn't help but stroke your hand against his dick, causing him to gasp.

“You alright?” San questioned, now making his way to the other side of the room. 

You continued to rub him. Jongho gripped the blanket tight.

“Peachy,” Jongho grunted.

San didn't speak for a while.

“Are you gonna finally ask her out?”

You paused.

Jongho sighed. “Huh?” he was totally out of it.

“I mean, you’ve been in love with y/n for ages, you might as well make if official while you can.”

“Am I?” Jongho swallowed hard. “Am I in love with her?”

“Ah shut up, you know it,” San scoffed,and a bed creaked—assumingly his. You decided to continue to suck Jongho off, taking him in your mouth, causing him to jolt.

“I uh, i’ll ask her out later,” Jongho took in a breath. “But, um, do you think you could….you know, give me a moment?”

“A moment, why—”San paused, then gasped. “Are you beating your meat right now? Oh fuck man, my bad!”

You nearly cackled against Jongho at the way they conversed with each other, how normal it seemed. It made you wonder how often this happened, how often Jongho did this to himself, how many times he thought about you while doing it…

That turned you on even more.

The minute you heard the door shut, you tossed the covers over your head, meeting Jongho’s shocked, mind-boggled expression.

“Jeez, y/n, fuck,” he couldn't help but smile as he looked at you, as you sucked him. “You’re a freak.”

“Well, you should see the things I read,” you chuckled, and then licked up the column of his cock, causing him to take hold of your head.

He shoved you up and down on his dick, his fingers tearing into your scalp, causing you to choke on him. He groaned, moaned, hummed every note possible, and then without warning, he came into your mouth, his body going still, his eyes open wide as he watched you swallow his load.

Oh, he tasted better than you ever imagined. 

His saltiness still coated your lips as you leaned over to kiss him, his eyes lost in you. He looked so in love, so in lust, in everything.

“Are you gonna ask me out?” you asked in between kisses.

“Mhm,” he leaned into your kiss, not wanting to break apart. 

“Are we dating now?”

Kiss.

He blinked, looking up at you. His smile defined beauty, his lips desire. 

“If you’d like.”

“Of course.”

You kissed him once more, wrapping your arms around his neck, rolling around in bed with him. He chuckled, smiled, nuzzled his head into you. 

“I have practice,” you kissed his cheek, trying to get up, but his arms wrapped around you, holding you to him. “I have to go.”

“One more minute,” he mumbled into your ear as he nibbled it, then kissed it. “Just a minute.”

You smiled. “Okay, fine, I guess I can spare a minute.”

He held you, breathed in your scent, his scent on your lips. He didn't let go, even after the minute, and you hand to force yourself out of his hold.

“Meet me in my room tonight?” you raised a brow,

He nodded. “Of fucking course.”

You quickly tried to fix your hair up, tucking it behind your ears, before you gave your boyfriend a wink while you walked out.

And, funny enough, when you shut the door behind you and turned around, San stood there, smirking devilishly.

“Well damn, when’s it my turn?”

[joongieology]

subby boys for the win (+ switches bonus)

[joongieology]

arrogant ceo yunho who gets knocked down by his cute little intern

He works his employees to the bone, forcing long, gruelling hours and unnecessary overtime. He finds it amusing how easily anyone bends over backwards to please him. He loves knowing how many people hate him but can't afford to lose their jobs, so they never formally complain. You've been dealing with this for months, just trying to get through your internship without pulling your hair out, yet Mr. Jeong always finds a way to add more to your plate and make you redo reports.

Everyone has a breaking point, so when your recent report gets flagged, again, you can only purse your lips and turn to your computer to redo it—until you get called into his office. You swear you could feel your eye twitch, your nails digging into your palms as you clench your fists in an attempt not to break everything on your desk.

You march to his office, throwing open the door without knocking or waiting for approval. "Do you find joy in making your employee's lives miserable?" His door hadn't even been closed when you started in on him. Mr. Jeong quirks a brow, a scoff leaving his lips as he pushes reports aside on his desk. With a clenched jaw, you stalked over to his desk, wrapping his tie around his hand and yanking him forward.

His eyes widened as a staggered gasp left his mouth at your incredulous action. “Do you think… this is a laughing matter, Mr. Jeong?” Your voice is hauntingly smooth as you tug on his tie again. “I can terminate your contract for this stunt.” He internally groaned at how shaky his breath was as he talked. You chuckled dryly. “You won’t, though.” You stare into his eyes, glazed over with bottled emotions. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you know I do this job better than any employee here,” You tightened your grip on his tie. “And you’d be damned to lose me.” His office suddenly feels a lot hotter, his throat dry as he tries to focus on the fury in your eyes and not your soft lips that are pulled taut.

Mr. Jeong's lips press together, his eyes locked onto yours, trying to reclaim the authority that has suddenly slipped from his grasp. You can see the conflict brewing in his gaze—indignation fighting with undeniable acknowledgment. He knows you're right. You’ve always known. That’s why he pushes you the hardest, testing how far you'll go, seeing if you'll break. 

For a moment, he’s speechless, his bravado slipping as he struggles to find a response. “This—” he starts, his voice wavering slightly. “This is unacceptable behaviour.” But you don’t let go. Instead, you lean closer, and you can feel his breath hitch. He’s always been untouchable, but right now, he’s caught—like prey staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

You feel something snap inside you—a dam breaking. All the pent-up frustration, all the swallowed rage. “You know what’s unacceptable?” you say, your voice low and laced with contempt. “Being treated like a machine. Expecting loyalty without respect. You think your power gives you the right to treat us like we’re beneath you. But not me. Not anymore.”

His face flushes, and for the first time since you started here, he looks unsure. Vulnerable. It's as if you've shattered the carefully crafted mask he wears every day. You can see him wavering, his confidence fraying like a thread about to snap. You’ve never seen him this way—off-balance, unguarded. There's a strange thrill in watching him come undone, knowing that you've managed to pierce the armour he hides behind.

“Let me be clear,” you say, loosening your grip just enough to let him breathe but not enough for him to pull away. “I will finish this report, and I will do it perfectly like I always do. But from now on, you're going to treat me with the respect I deserve—or I walk. And believe me, you will feel it when I’m gone.” 

He’s silent, the room thick with tension. Slowly, you release his tie, smoothing it back down against his chest. His breathing is uneven, his eyes wide, but he doesn’t stop you. He watches you like he’s never really seen you before, and maybe he hasn’t. Maybe you've been just another employee to him until now, another cog in the machine.

“Get back to work,” he says, but the command lacks its usual edge. You turn to leave, not bothering to wait for a dismissal this time. As you step through the doorway, you don’t slam the door shut. You leave it slightly ajar, knowing he’s still staring after you, something in the atmosphere between you changed forever.

Back at your desk, you start the report again, your hands steady, your mind clear. There's a new feeling thrumming in your chest—an unfamiliar, heady sense of power. For the first time, you think he might be the one who’s afraid to lose you. 

And that realization? It makes you smile.

-

Yunho sat in his office, staring at the office door you walked out of. His breathing came out hot and heavy, his heart racing in his chest. He knows he shouldn’t, but your fire is eating him alive. He can feel it crawl into every crevice of his being, lighting him up from the inside out. He leans back in his chair, trying to will his mind to be anywhere other than his pretty little intern.

Wait.

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His mouth fell agape, wondering where the audacity of his own thoughts was coming from. His attempt to think of anything but you was futile; no matter what he did, his thoughts found their way back to you. He ran a hand over his face, a dull throb in his head as he paced around his office. He shook his head with a huff, striding over to his door.

His eyes are scanning the cubicles and desks, watching as all employees avoid eye contact. He walks with a purpose, making his way to your desk. You nonchalantly sip on your coffee, holding a hand out to stop him before he can speak, opting to finish typing out the email before hitting send. He stared at you with disdain, his tongue poking his cheek as he sighed out his frustration. You turned in your chair, cocking your head. “My office. Now.”

“For what reason?” Yunho quirked a brow, taking notice as other workers stopped their work to witness the scene upon them. “Oh? Already forgot the stunt you pulled in my office?” Yunho leaned his hands on your desk, lowering his head to yours. “The only one pulling stunts is you, Mr. Jeong ‘never leaves his office for anything or anyone’ Yunho.” The other workers whispered among themselves, silently applauding you in your stance against your big, bad boss.

Yunho pulled out a folded paper from his jacket, straightening up before throwing it in front of you. “Alright then, here’s your final assignment. Appear in my office in two minutes or face termination.” A ghost of a smirk tugged at his lips as he put his hands in his pockets, making his way back to his office. You eyed the folded paper, scoffing at his absurdity. He actually handed you a termination letter.

You clutched the paper tightly as you got out of your seat. You threw it into your desk trashcan, grumbling as you made your way into his office. He sat against his desk, his hands still in his pockets yet his coat was off this time. He briefly took a hand out of his pocket, beckoning you over with a finger. As you stood in front of him, you could smell the cologne waving off him; a mix of earthy tones and sweetness.

Yunho waited for the click of his door, ensuring that it was closed before he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into him. His lips found yours with ease. His kiss was rushed, fueled by the emotions from earlier. “You have no idea what you do to me.” His voice is hushed as he whispers against your lips. His hands stay busy on your waist, tugging your hips closer. You smile into the kiss, letting Yunho’s hands explore your body like he’s done many times before. You slide your hands lower, palming over the obvious bulge in his slacks.

“Fuck, I need you now.” Yunho turns you around, moving you to bend over his desk. He unceremoniously tugs your pants down your thighs, groaning as he eyes the lace trimming of your panties. Yunho shoved your panties to the side, letting his leaking cock bump against your clit. You jolt against his desk, clawing at the wood. Yunho leans against your back, taking your hands in his. The ring on his finger catches against your matching one.

“Gonna be good for me, honey? Be a good girl for daddy, huh?”

[joongieology]

close enough welcome back tadashi hamada

[joongieology]

Love me like you hate me | Hongjoong x Reader

❅ pairing : kim hongjoong (ateez) x fem reader

❅ rate : +18 | angst, smut

❅ warnings : violence, strong language, sex

❅ chaptered | one-shot

❅ status : unfinished (chapter 1/???)

❅ tags&stuff : gang leader!hj, gang AU, stripper!reader, drugs, money, corruption, stripclub, violence, San as hj's right-hand man and Wooyoung as their overexcited sidekick, San is kind of a sadistic bastard, heart eyes for Woo, little bit of Woosan if you squint, graphic sex scenes incoming, joong is a rough little man with a potty mouth, Yunho's there too and the most perfect boyfriend material as usual

❅ ❅ ❅

❅ plot : growing up under the influence of his father's toxic masculinity, Hongjoong has been taught not to ever show any signs of weakness. As an adult and having turned into one of the most threatening gang leaders, cold hearted and untouchable, Hongjoong shows no interest in anything but collecting shivers and startled looks from the enemies - until he meets his only weakness, the girl that sends his entire world shatter into pieces.

❅ author's notes : hi there, i'm crys, english isn't my first language so pardon any mistake that may occur. I hope you'll enjoy that chaptered/hongjoong-centered fic! Feel free to comment & give feedbacks.

I also take requests for OS (fluff, smut, anything) about all Ateez members/some ships so don't hesitate to hit me up ♥

❅ Ao3 : kim_hongjoong

chapter one.

Hongjoong had always hated his birthday. It’s not that he didn’t like the attention -he actually did, a lot- but something about it made him sad. Maybe it was the Peter Pan syndrome, the fear of growing up, getting older and becoming an adult when childhood was all fun and games. A friend from school had once told him that the older you grew, the closer you were to die, but Hongjoong had never paid much attention to his words.

Death had never seemed real to him. He would see people getting shot in movies, see it on the news, but as long as it was behind a screen, it was never real, more like a part of the twisted imagination of a 7 year-old who loved to play cops and robbers with kids from his neighborhood. Surely Death couldn’t be a real thing if people came back as ghosts, or zombies, right?

Until he found himself staring at a coffin going six feet under, surrounded by friends and family as they paid their last goodbye to his mother. Up until this day, Hongjoong had no idea a parent could die. Not even when his mother had gotten so sick she just couldn’t leave her bed. With the innocence of a child, Hongjoong had simply convinced himself she had some bad stomach flu and that, someday, eventually, she would walk out of her bedroom again so they could watch more zombie movies together. She loved zombie movies and so did he, even if it gave him the worst nightmares.

Looking up through his blurry vision, blinking a mix of tears and raindrops away, Hongjoong could tell his father was upset by the way his jaw seemed to tense under his skin and how tightly he was holding his hand, up to the point he was truly convinced he would break every single bone in his fingers if he kept squeezing his strong fist into his. But he wasn’t crying.

When everyone around them seemed to be devastated, from his bawling aunt mourning her sister to their upstairs neighbor who tried his best but still failed to swallow up his tears, every single person surrounding the black casket as it went down into the ground looked accordingly upset, except for his father.

As far as he could remember, Hongjoong had never seen his father show any kind of emotion, let alone shed a tear and while it could’ve been a regular “dad” thing to the eyes of a 7yo, the little boy often found himself wondering if boys truly didn’t cry. As a kid, he obviously came home crying a lot after he’d fallen from his bike or got into a fight, but while his mother would always comfort him with a cuddle and a kiss on top of his head, his father would either ignore his pleas or just ask him to “tough up”.

While he had no idea how to act “tough”, Hongjoong knew he would spend the rest of his life trying to match his father’s expectations, even if it meant he would never get to shed a single tear ever again. Nothing would ever beat the complete devastation of losing his mother on his own birthday, so why would ever cry again?

❅❅❅

“Fuck- my dad’s gonna kill me” Hongjoong looked through the dusty mirror of the questionable toilets he had locked himself in with his best-friend after they had found shelter in the next gas station. Having just turned 15, Hongjoong often found himself skipping class to wander around the city, looking for a new purpose which often led him towards a troubled path. Today was no exception and while most of the kids his age were busy studying for their exams, Hongjoong and San had both decided that summer break had already started.

“I mean, you still won, what’s the big deal?” San shrugged, lighting himself a cigarette as he perched himself on the edge of the sink, unbothered by the absolute lack of window and the fact they would probably suffocate from the smoke within a minute.

San had been by his side ever since they were little kids as he literally lived across the hall, their front doors so close they might as well be roommates. While Hongjoong was an only child, San was part of a really dysfunctional, blended family. Hongjoong had actually lost track of how many step siblings he had as it seemed like a new child seemed to walk through the door everyday. As the eldest, it was no surprise to see San spend most of his time outside of the family circle, roving the streets until the latest hours of the day so everyone was asleep by the time he went home. Hongjoong couldn’t help but wonder if San was ever sad about acting like a complete stranger within his own family, but he never dared to ask. San wasn’t much of a talker and whenever someone would try and cross the line of the iron wall he had built around him, he would just punch them hard enough for them not to even speak his name ever again.

What’s the big deal? Hongjoong asked himself as he wiped blood off the corner of his mouth, trying to pat his bruised skin with his sleeve as it looked like he had bumped into a door, making it a winner. Though he had won the fight - a pretty stupid fight over a pack of cigarettes - against some older kid from high-school, Hongjoong just knew his father wouldn’t let him live with a face showing obvious signs of weakness.

“Whatever… few more years and I’ll be out of here anyway” Hongjoong sighed while looking down the sink. It definitely looked like it hadn’t seen a single wipe in years and if he tried to pour water into his hands, Hongjoong just knew it would come out the color of dirt. This place was a shithole, like the entire city he had grown in.

Taking his first drag of well-deserved nicotine, Hongjoong couldn’t help but think about his future, counting the days until he was out of this place, out of his father’s grip and finally free to become the man he was always meant to be. Someone powerful whose name would make people shudder, someone his own father would fear.

But for now, he was just a 15yo boy feeling sick at the thought of going home.

❅❅❅

Walking into the Dinner like he owned the place, San looked around while giving a few fist-bumps to some acquaintances, the shimmering sound of the bells above the door following his every step. Wasting no time in finding his usual spot by the bar, perched on top of a stool, San immediately slammed his hand upon the silvery surface, announcing himself.

“Whose dick do I have to suck to get a burger?” he chanted, his dimple digging into his cheek as his smile grew wider.

“Fuck off, San” Yunho barely spared him a glimpse, too busy pouring the cheapest brand of soda into two rainbow colored paper cups, his glasses almost slipping off his nose from sweating into the kitchen for too long. Yunho was a top class student working his ass off in the evening and sacrificing his weekends to gather enough money for college. While he was the complete opposite of the outcast San had turned out to be, Yunho was still part of the few privileged men who hadn’t been beaten up by Hongjoong’s best friend.

“Jung, I know you’re craving for it as the flaming homosexual that you are, and I’m flattered, but I’d rather sit on broken glass than go anywhere near your flabby cock…”

Yunho knew better than to reply to San’s typical provocations and decided to ignore his comment, taking his order with him towards the table at the very back of the restaurant. Bending over the bar to grab himself a paper cup where he could pour his own soda, San watched as his best-friend finally escaped from the kitchen, hands full of plates.

“There he is, our local heartbreaker!” San chuckled to himself, grabbing a straw just so he would get a chance to blow into it and watch as its wrapper went flying to the next table, collecting a few cold glances from strangers.

When Yunho walked back to pick up the next orders from his hands, Hongjoong took the opportunity to catch a five minutes break, pouring himself a glass of water and gulping it down immediately like he’d been wandering through a desert for days. Grilling steaks and cleaning tables was nowhere near the glamorous life he hoped for, but it gave him an income and a reason to drop out of school when sitting at a table for 8 hours a day had become too much. Though he was smart and capable of doing great, Hongjoong had quickly given up on any hope for some higher education. If anything, he would be a self-made man and learn from experience rather than black boards and books.

“Rumor has it you dumped your girlfriend, you monster!” San grinned, finding pride in the way his best-friend rolled his eyes at him with complete disgust.

“First of all - she was never my girlfriend, we hooked up twice and the girl thought I’d marry her somehow?”

“Once is an accident, twice is a date… Which is why I never do second shots!”

Resting on his elbows upon the bar, Hongjoong simply sighed to himself while locking his head between his arms, absolutely exhausted.

“Whatever” he groaned, unbothered by the reputation he was about to get for ditching a girl after a couple fucks, “you got the cash?” he asked again, composing himself as he recalled the main reason why they had decided to meet up in the middle of his shift.

“Yeah, we good”

Though he never spared much emotion, Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile for a brief second at the thought of leaving this place soon. Having just turned 18, both him and San were getting closer to freedom and while the path they had taken to gather enough money to move into the big city was definitely not the safest, Hongjoong just knew he was on his way to become the better version of himself. One thing he knew is that it would be a lonely road as he would never allow anyone to grow a place into his heart, anything close to a relationship he ever had somehow always ending with tears and drama as he failed to commit. While anyone would find it sad, Hongjoong felt comfortable being lonely, his trust issues always making him feel like everyone was a threat, except for the one person he actually trusted with his own life, his best-friend.

When he came home later that night, Hongjoong felt like he had been run over by a truck, ready to collapse on top of his bed from the exhaustion of a double shift. Fridays were always the busiest and despite his absolute lack of interest in school and studies, Hongjoong had definitely inherited some extremely strong working ethic from his father. The only thing he had, along with his thin nose and his natural pouty lips. Everything else was an absolute copy-paste of his mother’s face, from the shape of his eyes that turned into crescents whenever he smiled to his cheekbones and the mole on the side of his neck, Hongjoong had lost track of the times he’d been told how much he looked like his late mother even though it always brought a genuine smile upon his face. Having people comparing him to his father would be like being linked to the Devil himself, something he would never wish for anyone, even his archenemies.

The lights were out, except for that one lamp his father always forgot to switch off before going to bed, like he could afford paying for that much electricity when the fridge was filled with coupon food. Walking towards it, ready to turn it off, Hongjoong was surprised to find his father’s silhouette sitting on the couch, facing the coffee table where a ridiculous amount of money was on display. Money Hongjoong instinctively recognized as the cash he was keeping safely hidden in the drop ceiling of his bedroom.

“What’s this?” Hongjoong didn’t know how else to start this conversation, his hands turning into nervous fists as he started to dig his own nails into his palms, out of nerves.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking?”

“Looks like a shit ton of money to me”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t act so cocky.. Where’s the money from?”

“In case you didn’t know, I have a job”

“You’re making burgers and fries, what do you think you are, CEO?” his father almost spat back, his hand flying into the air like he was too eager to punch something but too early into the conversation to actually hit his son across the face.

“I’m gonna ask you again, just once–” he started, his finger pointing at him now “where is the money coming from?”

“None of your business” Hongjoong knew his attitude would definitely not get him out of this situation, but knowing his father, there was no way he would walk out of this room with his money back if he didn’t stand up for himself. His dad was such a pitiful excuse for a man that he’d rather burn the bills himself than have his son win this battle.

“I did not raise you to become some cheap dealer or whatever that is!”

“You could’ve stopped at ‘I did not raise you” to be fair…” Hongjoong chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest now, his tongue poking on the inside of his cheek as he found pride and amusement in the way his father was getting more frustrated by the second. A couple years from now, he would’ve caved, apologized and made sure to crawl back into his room hoping not to see his father burst through the door ready to punish him. But today, Hongjoong had finally grown tired of being scared. Over time, his father had become a ghost made of all his insecurities, haunting him every once in a while, but he wasn’t afraid of him anymore.

There was a silence as both seemed to dare each other through the coldest look until his father finally lifted himself up from the couch, instantly aiming for his throat and pushing him towards the nearest wall, his back hitting it so hard he felt it through every fiber of his skin. As his father’s hand wrapped tighter around his neck, Hongjoong could feel the rage building up inside of him, years of being humiliated, punished, slapped across the face, punched until he was tough enough not to shed a single tear, coming back to haunt him. The way he had been mistreated and still ignored, only for him to care now that he was this close to walking out the family home? That single thought was enough to push him off the edge and ironically, Hongjoong did the only thing his father ever taught him: he gave the first punch.

Things escalated quickly as they found themselves slammed to the coffee table, throwing punches until Hongjoong was finally kneeling on top of his dad, his fist like a machine that couldn’t be stopped, fury bursting through his veins as blood turned his knuckles into a complete red mess. It took him a while to realize someone was pulling him off his father’s limb body, San’s worried voice dragging him off his frenzy after he’d used his spare key to storm into the apartment following the worrying noises he had heard on his way back home.

“Holy fuck, Joon’ what have you done?” San was stunned by the sight of his best-friend’s father almost passed out on the floor, his face barely recognizable through the blood and bruises of what looked like a couple broken bones.

A little shaken, Hongjoong had curled himself against the couch, his knees to his chest as his entire body seemed to tremble out of absolute shock. Speechless, he remained silent for a while, rubbing his knuckles as it felt like they’d gone numb from punching repeatedly but when he expected any reaction from him, San watched as Hongjoong finally collected himself and stood up to look down on his father.

“I’m out of here- you hear me, asshole? I’m leaving this shithole of a place you call home! When I walk out that door, you won’t have a son anymore… And when you die, the sooner the better, I won’t shed a tear…” he paused, wiping a few drops of blood out the corner of his lips “ I hope you’re proud of me, Dad”.

❅❅❅

It was the middle of the night when Hongjoong and San hopped on the first bus to the nearest big city. In the darkness of the empty streets, they still looked like teenagers running away from home with their entire existence reduced into two backpacks, one filled with blood stained money they had gathered from Hongjoong’s living room floor, leaving his father behind in agony without a second look.

As the engine started running, Hongjoong couldn’t help but shake his knee out of nerves, one of the rare bad habits he had taken from his mother. Looking out the window as the town he had known his entire life disappeared, Hongjoong almost flinched as he felt his best-friend’s hand push down his knee, silently asking him to stop. Looking to his side and seeing him flash a grin, hope for a new beginning shining through San’s eyes as they entered a new life together, Hongjoong finally felt safe.

“Oh by the way, happy fucking birthday?” San joked as he realized it was past midnight.

Hongjoong had always hated his birthday, but this one was by far his happiest.

❅❅❅

The club was already packed - which was no surprise since Friday nights usually brought along a whole bunch of men gathered in groups and ready to celebrate payday the only way they knew how, with booze and tits.

Y/N was running late and while it wasn’t like she had a 9 to 5 job with a time clock, she just hated to fail at anything, that included her impeccable punctuality. One of her colleagues had once joked about the fact she would probably be 30 minutes early to her own funeral, which Y/N couldn’t even deny because, as the control freak she actually was, she knew everything would be planned from the color of her coffin to the choice of a caterer years before she would actually kick the bucket.

“You’re late” Y/N looked up to see Yunho’s worried look as he frowned through his glasses, the complete surprise of seeing her walking through the door past 8PM barely hidden.

“I know, sue me?” she joked while still walking towards the changing rooms as Yunho was quick to follow, hands filled with the run-through he was about to give to the rest of the girls, including his favorite, who ironically happened to be late that night.

“You know I’m not scolding you, right? Just surprised?”

“Pl-ease, you wouldn’t scold a pigeon if it shat all over your face, of course I know!” Though she was purposely exaggerating, Y/N couldn’t deny Yunho was by far the nicest man she had ever met in her entire life. While she was forced to interact with actual pigs six nights a week, having someone like Yunho around had definitely restored her faith in men.

When Yunho stopped her in her track to grab her hand, forcing her to spin around and face him, Y/N found herself once again thinking that maybe, sometimes, he was being way too nice for his own good.

“Are you okay? Is it your grandma? Do you need the night off?”

“I just missed the bus, Yunho… Can you stop worrying like a dad? You’re getting wrinkles and everything!” Y/N joked just so he would relax a little, her thumb pressing between his eyes where his skin had effectively turned into a wrinkle.

“Alright- do I get a kiss, then?” when his frown turned into a bright smile, Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of him acting like a careless child over again. There was something pure and delightful about the way Yunho managed to compose himself. Through years of friendship, she had never seen him getting angry to the point he just couldn’t go back to his goofy self within a minute. Their bond was definitely unique as they often shared a kiss or some level of intimacy people would only find in a couple behind closed doors, but as he also remained her boss, Y/N always made sure no one ever caught them being this close. Being the boss’ favorite just didn’t strike her ego right, she wanted to be praised for her good work and popularity, not for sucking Yunho’s dick every other thursday.

She pecked him for a brief second after making sure no one was around and while the frustration was obvious on the face of a man who couldn’t hide his emotions, Yunho still sett

led for the tiniest bit of affection she allowed him. That’s how much he adored her.

“Okay girls- not that I want you to be nervous but I’ve been told the big boss is coming tonight, so put on your best stilettos, rise and shine if you want that big raise!” Yunho announced as soon as they walked into the changing rooms where all the girls had gathered to put on their best attires. After years of running a strip-club, Yunho had learned to remain completely unbothered by the amount of nudity he had to face on a daily basis. Everywhere around him, gorgeous girls were flashing their most intimate bits while he kept his eyes on his iPad, professional as ever.

The room went busier than ever as they all started to comment about what the big boss probably looked like, suggesting some balding man in his 50s with greasy skin and hairy fingers squeezed into golden rings like they were in some bad mafia movie from the 70s. Silence instantly followed Yunho’s voice when he eventually asked a volunteer for his table, everyone pondering whether it was a good idea to dance for the man in charge of their salary and risking their rent over a mistake or a bad performance. Suddenly, everyone had an excuse not to do it: a bachelor party, their favorite client, a fully-booked agenda… Anything not to face the man everyone had heard about but never met.

“I’ll do it?”

Yunho looked up for the first time, recognizing the voice through the buzzing sound of the room. Sitting in front of the mirror Y/N was applying a fair coat of bright red lipstick while smiling to her friend, the thought of a good challenge sparkling through her shiny eyes.

“Are you sure? I mean, he’s not gonna be alone… He’s always with his sidekicks…” Though he only meant well, Yunho just knew he sounded way too worried for a man whose job depended on his best girl giving the performance of a lifetime.

“You think I can’t handle a couple meanies?” she joked, poking her tongue through her teeth “...and what’s his name anyway?

❅❅❅

“ … Kim Hongjoong, you might want to remember his name”

San walked past the man he had just knocked out to the floor, abandoning his poor soul to the pavement for every other guest standing in the queue to see. Adjusting the front of his shirt, making sure to look immaculate, he flashed a flirty grin to the girl leading them to their table as soon as they entered the club.

“Did you have to break his nose?” Hongjoong sighed, once again the victim of his right-hand man’s impulsive behavior.

“I mean, the guy didn’t know your name? You fucking OWN the place? You think I’m gonna let him disrespect you like that?” clicking his tongue against his teeth while rolling his neck out of nerves, San couldn’t hide his frustration.

“That was pretty fucking funny though” Wooyoung’s laugh was muffled by the sound of music as they got carried further into the main room and to the VIP corner. The youngest of the three was typically hyping San up whenever he failed to compose himself. While Hongjoong always tried to keep his head high and found pride in their reputation, Wooyoung was like a puppy in a bowling alley, always cheering for a fight and laughing at people’s misery. Most of the time, Hongjoong found him endearing, like a child he had taken under his responsibility along the way but tonight, as he stepped into a club with his own name stamped on it, the boss had taken over the friend, hoping not to be completely embarrassed by his friends’ behavior.

As they sat in their booth, towering over the rest of the guests, Hongjoong found himself looking around while trying to empty his head of the burdening thoughts of a long day. San was actually the one suggesting for them to go out and check out the latest club he had bought, almost owning the city by now, and while he wasn’t exactly in a festive mood, Hongjoong had finally agreed, mostly because the sight of Wooyoung in front of some half-naked girls was always entertaining enough to steal a smile from his boss as he just couldn’t contain his excitement. The place looked cool, dimmed lights giving it some nice vintage boudoir vibes Hongjoong actually loved and while his meticulous eye could already catch a couple changes to be made, he had to admit Yunho was doing a good job at running this place.

Speaking of the Devil, Yunho showed up to their table like he had been summoned.

“Jung! How’s life? Found yourself a boyfriend yet?”San joked, his body leaning into the booth like he was watching some daytime TV on his couch with no worries whatsoever.

“Hi, San, still a clown, I see?” Yunho smiled, way past his teenage fear of getting into a fight with a man whose fists could actually kill.

When San was about to spit back, Hongjoong stopped him with a single finger up, motioning for him to shut up as he leaned forward to bump fists with Yunho.

“This place looks good… You did well…”

“Thanks- doing my best!” Yunho tried his best to cover up the joy this praising had brought as his life was definitely ruled by his work ethic. To hear it from Hongjoong himself was something he definitely found pride in, as weird as it felt to have him as his boss considering the fact they shared a common background. While he didn’t approve of all of Hongjoong’s ways of living and the questionable business he ran on the side, Yunho couldn’t ignore his friend’s success and the major spin his life had taken ever since he had disappeared from their hometown, 6 years ago.

“Heard about your dad- I’m sorry” Yunho spoke again, his voice unsure as he knew that, above many things, his family was one thing Hongjoong hated to mention. Still, having known him for so long, it felt wrong not to talk about his father passing a couple days ago.

“What are you sorry for?” Hongjoong surprisingly replied, one of his eyebrows raised like he’d been told the most ridiculous thing ever.

“I mean, it’s your dad–”

“Couldn’t care less” Hongjoong stated like it was absolutely nothing, brushing the topic off like you would change it back to the weather or the most random piece of information.

“Why don’t you do your job and find us some good girls for the night?” San interrupted, quite visibly annoyed with Yunho’s puppy look and his typical way of feeling sorry for everyone.

“I’ve actually found the perfect girl for you guys, don’t worry about that” Yunho smiled though his heart was aching at the thought of Y/N having to deal with San’s bad manners.

“THE girl? As in… just one? What, you think we all share a bed or something?” San chuckled, his laugh covering up his building annoyance.

“You do know this is a strip-club, not a brothel? If you wanna fuck, I suggest you log onto Tinder or something–” Yunho’s snapback came as a surprise as the three men were at a loss for words. Having a good man like Yunho losing his patience felt like getting a nasty bite from the cutest puppy, shocking, but almost cute.

“Bro, that man owns the place, if he wants to fuck all of these girls, he will…” San smirked with the confidence of ten men, “what is it? Do you have a little crush? You don’t want us to play with your girlfriend?”.

“San- that’s enough” Hongjoong interrupted again, clearly frustrated with his friend by now. After a while, he finally reached for his credit card, handing it to Yunho.

“Open a tab for us, alright? and this…” reaching into the inside of his jacket, Hongjoong handed a thick pile of rolled-up cash as Yunho tried to mentally calculate so he would get a fair guess of the amount of money he was being given “... this is for the girl, if she works hard for us tonight, I’ll double it up”.

“Man she better have tits made of gold” Wooyoung chuckled at the ridiculous display of wealth happening in front of his eyes.

“She’ll double it up, I’m not worried about that” Yunho simply stated before he walked off. Soon enough, San’s restless comments and Wooyoung’s laugh were merely muffled sounds in the distance as the only thing he could hear was the blood thumping through his veins as he tightly wrapped his fist around the money that would sell his favorite girl to the devil.

... to be continued ♥ feel free to comment & feedback!

[joongieology]

Touch | Jung Wooyoung

SYNOPSIS: you love to tease wooyoung to the point of him losing his sanity, and he loves to touch you until you’re just a puddle beneath him. when the two of you make it a game, you’re not sure who’s going to win.

PAIRING: Wooyoung x Reader (Female)

WARNINGS: restraints, switch!reader, switch!wooyoung, marking, name calling, thigh riding, slapping

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

you look up towards the ceiling, eyes squinted and lips pursed in thought. after a few moments, you look down at the man you’re perched on top of.

“what’s your name again?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

the man laughs, causing you to slightly bounce against his abdomen, where you’re casually lounging.

“you’ve just tied me to your bed, yet you don’t remember my name,” he says through a breath, staring up at you with one eyebrow raised. “it’s wooyoung.”

still, he’s complying without complaining, which only turns you on even more.

still, he’s complying without complaining, which only turns you on even more.

still, he’s complying without complaining, which only turns you on even more.

he smiles beneath you, muscles tensing in anticipation. “what’s that?”

“let me play with you,” you say, biting your lower lip as you run your fingers through his dark hair.

he nods, goosebumps spreading across his skin. “anything for you.”

“good boy,” you coo, ruffling his hair before letting your fingers trail down his cheeks.

his skin is like silk beneath you, begging to be touched. you remind yourself to savor this man - to take your time and relish in his presence until you’ve drained him of every drop.

you stand up, one foot on either side of him as you take in his naked, toned body. the lace strappy lingerie on your own body leaves little to the imagination, just covering the most sensual parts of your physique.

wooyoung stares back up at you, eyes not leaving your figure as you drink in every inch of him. you can see how eager he is, his entire body nearly trembling in excitement while his cock throbs with ache.

the game you planned for tonight with this stranger is set in stone, but you can’t deny the small part of yourself that is begging for him to be buried inside your aching center right now.

“i do have one little thing to tell you,” you say, smiling at him as you sit back down on his chiseled stomach.

“what’s that?” he asks.

“not a single part of my body is going to touch that beautiful dick of yours,” you say, an evil grin spreading across your lips as wooyoung’s eyes widen.

you hold back your laugh of victory, watching as his mouth closes and opens, not able to reply to what you just said. you’re sure he was expecting this night to be filled of him pounding you into next month but you have - and always did have - this devious plan in mind.

“not this,” you say, leaning back and ghosting your fingers over your clothed pussy.

“not these,” you say, taking advantage of his parted lips to slide three fingers into his watering mouth.

“not this,” you whisper, leaning forward as your fingers slip from his mouth only to be replaced by your tongue. your lips press gently against his, tongue caressing his own as your hands glide into his hair.

though you can sense his frustration, he can’t help but lean up into the kiss, doing his best to get closer to you without the ability to use his hands.

“that’s not fair,” he mumbles against your lips. “really, really not fucking fair. maybe even cruel.”

“don’t be a baby about it,” you say, scratching his scalp lightly as you bite his lower lip. “you’re my toy tonight. don’t you forget that.”

wooyoung hums, and you can feel the defeat - the submission - spreading through his veins as he slowly relaxes his body. “okay.”

you moan against his mouth, your hands sliding down to hold onto the sides of his neck. “so fucking good.”

“if you untie me, i can be even better.”

meeting his eyes, you can’t help the breath you suck in. you can only imagine what he could do to you if you let him, but you promised yourself tonight is about you and your pleasure alone.

the one night stands you’ve been indulging in have been mediocre at best, and now that you’ve finally found someone who can maybe actually handle you, you can barely contain yourself.

still, you remind yourself of your dominant position, and how you need to slap him back down to the position beneath you - physically and mentally.

you sigh, leaning up until you’re sitting up straight again. you glare down at him, pursing your lips in anger. your hand comes up and slaps against his cheek, the sting against your palm welcoming and satisfying.

he looks up at you, biting his lip as his cheek reddens. his eyes are alight with excitement as he grins. “do it again. please,” he begs.

you smile, your thighs threatening to clench together. “so filthy, aren’t you?”

he nods, his arms pulling against his restraints.

you oblige, slapping him again across the same cheek, the warmth between your thighs pooling more intensely watching his eyes flutter closed in satisfaction.

you can tell this will be a match made in heaven. everyone else you’ve been with hasn’t even come close to satisfying you; vanilla sex is boring to you, and to finally find someone who wants to be slapped and tied up makes your heartbeat quicken with excitement.

“your cock will starve of affection,” you say, “but the rest of your body will feel me. only if you beg me for it, though.”

wooyoung’s hips buck up slightly, desperate to feel any kind of friction.

you scowl down at him, scooting back until your legs are straddling him at his knees. his rebellion is hot, you won’t lie, but this isn’t the time to admire his deviant personality.

he tries to bend his untied legs to pull you against his dick, but you slap one of his thighs.

“you’re testing my patience,” you say, your fingernails digging into his other thigh. “beg me or i’ll leave you tied up here.”

wooyoung’s back arches off the bed in desperation. “please… please do whatever you want with me. i’ll be good now. i promise.”

you lean back, pulling your feet out from under you so you can slide your panties off. they’re soaking wet from your time so far with wooyoung, and you’re surprised he’s managed to turn you on this much without even laying a finger on you.

“you look so good like that, pussy dripping and legs spread,” he says, not able to bite his tongue when he sees you exposing yourself.

god damn.

excitement and anger pulsing straight to your aching core, you lean up to press your nose against his, staring him straight in the eyes. “you talk too fucking much.”

then you stuff your panties into his mouth, watching him take them between his lips hungrily.

“now,” you say, pulling back so you’re leaning between his shins, “you can watch me have fun.”

leaning down, you press sloppy kisses on his inner thigh. achingly slow, your lips press against his skin, climbing higher until you reach his pelvis. he bucks his hips up, but you pull away.

then you move to his other thigh, a trail of saliva left behind you as you kiss and lick the skin. you can hear wooyoung breathe heavily from above you, and you bite back your grin.

sitting up for a minute, you see the tension in his eyes, and you can feel his desperation for relief pulsing off his skin in heat waves. you move your explorative lips and tongue to his abdomen, fingers digging into his hips to keep him still. you stare up at him through your lashes as you lick along his stomach, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows harshly.

as you grow more impatient and needy, your kisses and licks turn into harsh sucking and biting, leaving marks on every part of his skin that your lips connect to.

you trail back down, leaving bite marks and hickeys down his abdomen and onto the top of one his thighs. after leaving the same marks on his other thigh, you hover over his rock hard dick and let out a sigh, lips forming an “o” as your breath brushes against him.

you watch him for a reaction, and you inwardly groan as you see his eyes close just from the tiniest of stimulation after being starved from it altogether. his hips buck up again, and you push them back down with your hands, fingernails digging into his skin.

you put all your weight on your hands, locking your elbows as you look at him.

“that’s all you’re getting, baby,” you say through a devilish grin.

he tries to speak, but his voice is muffled against the panties in his mouth.

“what’s that?” you ask, feigning innocence. “i couldn’t quite catch that.”

though he’s in such a submissive state, you can feel his dominance bubbling beneath the surface and you can just imagine what he could do with those lips and hands.

you hum, biting your lips as you debate what to do next.

the ache pooling in your center becomes nearly unbearable, and you know you need some kind of relief before you give in and let him sink himself inside you.

you lean back down to his thigh, his flexing muscles making you nearly drool in anticipation. after a glance up at him, you look back down and sink your teeth into the top of his thigh, hard enough to cause wooyoung to suck in a breath, his leg bending up reflexively against the pain.

“did that hurt?” you ask, grinning against his skin. “i know exactly how to ease the pain.”

you gather saliva in your mouth, letting it drip out and fall onto his skin on top of the bite mark. your tongue darts out and spreads it around, humming to yourself.

after, you sit up and straddle his leg, your pussy hovering over the mark.

you take a minute to stare down at wooyoung, his face beading with sweat, the frustration physically affecting him more and more.

you pull your panties from his mouth, throwing them off the bed as you watch his tongue dart out to lick his lips.

“hi,” he says, biting his lip and locking eyes on his thigh.

you don’t respond, too focused on easing the ache that’s becoming more and more intense every second you deprive yourself of physical contact.

keeping your eyes locked on wooyoung’s, you lower yourself until your dripping core is pressed against his tanned, muscular thigh. a sigh slips from your throat, fingernails digging into his skin as your eyes flutter.

slowly, you glide back and forth, your saliva and arousal mixing together on his leg as you move.

“fuck,” you whimper, head falling back as you roll your hips.

tingles erupt from your center to your abdomen and thighs, warmth spreading across your body as your skin heats up.

a lewd moan escapes your lips when wooyoung tenses his thigh muscles, and you lock eyes with him.

“do that again,” you stutter out through a string of moans as you pick up speed. he’s staring at the point of contact between his skin and yours, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip.

he nods, flexing his muscles over and over again as you keep rubbing yourself against him.

you can’t control the whines and whimpers falling from your mouth; you didn’t know someone’s thigh could feel so good.

he just keeps surprising you.

“turn around,” wooyoung says and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “trust me.”

too lost in the pleasure, you let him guide you, and you position yourself facing away from him.

as soon as you get settled, he bends his leg up, the inclination of his knee hitting your clit in a more intense position than before.

“there you go,” he says, keeping his leg up as you pick up your back-and-forth motions again. you lean back, your hands holding onto his hips for dear life as you let yourself climb higher and higher, the moans turning into shuddering convulsions as you can feel your orgasm building.

you don’t let yourself come, though. because edging yourself is part of your fun, and you love the fallen facial expression of wooyoung when you turn yourself around, forcing yourself to lift away from him.

“why did you stop?” he asks, chest rising and falling in heaves.

“i might as well torture us both,” i say. i sit back onto his stomach, loving the way he bites his lip as he feels your wetness press against him again.

the veins in his neck are visible, sweat glistening on his skin. you lick your lips; it’s like someone has set a tray of desserts right in front of you.

leaning down, you lick from his collarbone up to his ear, relishing in the sound of wooyoung’s gentle moan as you bite and suck on his earlobe.

your fingers tangle in his hair as you leave bite marks on the side of his neck, tongue darting out to trail along the protruding veins.

“your neck is fucking perfect,” you whisper against his skin, your lips ghosting against him.

when he doesn’t respond, you shift so you’re nose-to-nose. he meets your hungry gaze, eyes boring into you like a predator eyeing his prey.

“i’ve learned something about you,” he breathes, his lips tilting upwards into a smirk.

you frown. “what’s that?”

“you’re not very good at tying knots,” he says, and your heart skips a beat.

“wait-“

within a second, wooyoung has flipped the two of you over, his newly-freed hands holding yours above your head.

“you’ve had your fun,” he whispers as he dips down to press his nose into the side of your neck, breathing you in. “it’s my turn. is that okay with you?”

he leans back up, and your mouth goes dry. the way his smoldering gaze is locked onto yours - staring straight through to your inner desires - and the way he’s pinning you beneath him makes a switch flip in your mind.

those thoughts you’d been pushing away, the ones where he gets to use you to his will, have slapped down any doubt you had about this.

you want him to use you; you want to finally see what he’s made of.

“i’m your little slut,” you say, biting your lip as you keep your eyes locked on his. “do whatever you want.”

wooyoung laughs. “i knew you wanted this to happen.”

you nod, your heart rate picking up speed.

“you’re my little slut, huh?” he asks, taking both of your wrists into one hand as he trails the other down your cheek. “prove it.”

you let yourself become putty in his hands, not resisting as he pulls you up into a sitting position. he pulls back and rests on his knees, hands tangling in your hair as he takes in every inch of your face.

“you’re such a tease, you know that?” he whispers, leaning forward and kissing your nose. then he peppers kisses on almost all of your face, purposefully avoiding your lips.

“sorry,” you breathe, eyes closed against the feeling of his hands and mouth. “did i put on a good show, at least?”

a soft laugh slips from wooyoung’s throat. he responds by pressing his velvet lips against yours, the slight pressure between your mouths causing you to let out a quiet groan.

his hands trail down to the sides of your neck, gently gripping onto you as your lips move together, slowly but so intensely you can’t focus on anything else but him.

your hands slide up his abdomen, resting in fists against the rippling muscles as wooyoung’s tongue slips into your mouth.

you whimper, his tongue so gentle and knowing as it explores your mouth, causing you to lean in closer in your intoxicated state.

he exhales sharply when one of your hands slides down to wrap around his dick, firm in your grip as you pull him closer to you.

after one more kiss, you turn your watering mouth’s attention to his cock, your tongue darting out to lick the pre-cum leaking out of him.

wooyoung’s breathing becomes shallow as you place kitten licks from the base to the tip and back before letting a mouthful of saliva fall from your lips to lubricate him.

you spread your spit with your hand, languid pumps with your hand causing wooyoung to tense and gently thrust upwards to meet your rhythm.

“look at me,” he commands, and you immediately lock your eyes onto his. “don’t take your eyes off me. understand?”

you nod, your hand gliding along his length as you watch him bite his lower lip.

not giving him relief was hot, but the look of pure pleasure on wooyoung’s face right now?

nothing can compare.

you waste no time in wrapping your lips around him, his cock slipping deep within your throat as you hum.

“oh fuck,” he says as he stares down at you. one of his hands fists in your hair, causing you to moan as you let him guide you.

he glides his hips, slowly, as he holds your head still. you stare up at him as he meets your gaze, mouth agape and shuddering breaths leaving his swollen lips.

“fucking beautiful,” he says, watching you. “taking my entire cock just like my good little slut should.”

you moan at the praise, and the vibration of the noise makes wooyoung smile and close his eyes for a second.

it doesn’t take long until you can feel his self control slipping; his thrusts become more intense and the grip on your hair starts burning your scalp in a delicious way.

you stay still, keeping your cheeks hollowed as he fucks your mouth relentlessly, your fingers digging into his hips as you steady yourself.

wooyoung’s heavy breaths and occasional curses are fuel to your flame. keeping your eyes locked on his is even more of a reward, knowing the unhinged look in his eyes is all because of you.

suddenly, he pulls away and your sore jaw clamps shut in a pout as you frown at him.

he doesn’t say a word, his harsh breaths filling the silence as he pushes you onto your back.

his lips smash onto yours, the gentleness from earlier long gone as he sucks harshly on your tongue.

his hands slide beneath you, unhooking your bra and sliding it off. after throwing it to the side, he sits up for a minute to stare down at you.

“god damn,” he says, smiling down at you.

your hips buck up unconsciously, desperate to feel him against you. “please, wooyoung.”

he presses his tongue into his cheek, eyebrow raised. “begging now?”

you spread your legs open to show him how soaking wet you are for him, hoping it will have the same effect on him now that it did earlier.

the second his eyes fall to the sight, you know you have him.

his jaw tenses as his eyes slowly move up your body. it’s so intense you can swear you can feel his eyes just as though his hands are on you.

without a word, he drops back down, one arm resting next to your head as his other hand holds himself steady as he runs the head of his dick along your folds to spread your wetness.

your mouth falls open, hands moving to grip onto wooyoung’s back as he slides himself inside you, slowly filling you up until his pelvis is against yours.

his head falls into your shoulder as he slowly pulls himself back out. when he pushes back in, his lips find your neck as he begins to set a steady pace.

his newly free hand grips onto your hip as you wrap your legs around his waist. he lifts up, his desperate lips finding yours as his thrusts grow faster and harder.

when he leans back onto his knees, you relish in the sight of him with his mouth hanging open, sweat trailing down his face and chest as his muscles tense in effort, his hips snapping against you again and again. your entire body moves with every thrust, sheets beginning to stick to your back as sweat beads on your own skin.

wooyoung holds onto your hips for dear life, eyes locked on your breasts as they bounce from his efforts. your hands reach above you to hold onto the headboard, and your back arches from the pleasure.

endless moans are spilling from your lips, and you silently scold yourself for nearly missing this opportunity.

anything you would’ve done for yourself before wooyoung untied himself would be child’s play compared to this.

you swear you can see stars floating in front of you as wooyoung drives himself in you to the hilt, your entire body submitting itself to every touch of his hands or every ghost of a breath against your skin.

wooyoung pulls away just long enough to yank you up and flip you on your stomach before sinking back in, his cock once again finding its home inside your swollen pussy.

fingernails digging into your hips, he pulls you against him just as he pushes himself in, creating a perfect ache inside you as he fucks you at a speed you didn’t even know someone could go.

you’re completely incoherent; your body is slick with sweat, damp hair in a knotted mess splayed around your shaking shoulders. every spot wooyoung can reach inside your pussy, he is hitting with everything he has. all you can do is hold onto the sheets for dear life and try to keep from screaming in pleasure.

you’ve never known this can exist. it’s like he molded you with his own hands, knowing exactly how you tick, what winds you up and what makes you come undone.

your heart is pounding in your ears, drowning out the sounds around you as your vision goes white. your entire body starts tensing and you wonder if you’re going to even survive what’s coming. every single nerve is awake and dangling off the edge of a cliff, waiting for that last bit of resolve to snap.

wooyoung’s rough hand slaps harshly across your ass, the vibration resonating down to your very core, and after a second slap in the same place, you finally come undone.

screams and expletives fall endlessly from your sore throat, your entire body trembling from the shock waves. your legs refuse to hold yourself up anymore, so wooyoung hurriedly flips you around, not missing a beat as he sits you up onto his lap.

one hand wraps around your lower back while the other wraps around your throat, his mouth finding yours and swallowing the cries and whines you have no energy in trying to control.

the orgasm is the longest you’ve ever had, your pulsating core not getting any mercy from wooyoung. only a few moments after your body sags in exhaustion, you can feel it building again - so quickly you can’t even make sense of what’s happening in your head.

“there you go baby,” wooyoung says through moans as he pulls back to look at you. “give it to me again.”

a desperate cry rips through you as he moves his hand from your throat to the back of your neck, holding you still as he rams into you.

your body gives in again, fire consuming you entirely as you do your best to hold onto wooyoung as your orgasm rips through you.

this one takes away any ounce of energy your body may have stored away after the last one, tears sliding down your cheeks as screams of wooyoung’s name mix with his own moans that are becoming more and more desperate.

he pushes you back, your dead limbs doing little to brace your fall. grabbing onto your thighs, wooyoung keeps driving himself into you.

“you feel so fucking good,” he says through clenched teeth, fingers digging into your skin.

you can only whimper in response.

“you want me to cum on that pretty little face of yours?” he asks, one of his hands gliding up your stomach and chest.

“please,” you beg, somehow managing to prop yourself up on your elbows.

wooyoung slips out of you, and you shudder at the sudden emptiness. he shifts so his knees are on either side of you. one of his hands grips the back of your neck while the other wraps around himself, pumping furiously as his head falls back.

after one last, drawn out groan, wooyoung’s cum hits your face in hot spurts, and your tongue darts out to taste as much of him as you can.

“fuck,” he says.

you keep your eyes closed as wooyoung grabs his shirt from the floor to wipe your face off. after you’re clean, you open your eyes to see him grinning at you.

“hi,” he says with a small laugh.

you just hum, smiling as you fall onto your back.

“thanks for being shitty at tying knots,” he says, laying down next to you, chest still heaving.

“anytime,” you say, managing a laugh.

“i also learned one thing about me tonight,” wooyoung says and you turn to look at him.

“what’s that?”

“i’m an idiot,” he says, laughing. “i used my shirt to clean you up. now i have to leave here not wearing a shirt.”

you frown at him, turning onto your side and propping your head up on your elbow. “guess you’ll just have to stay until it’s been cleaned, huh?”

he smiles as his hand glides to rest on your hip. “maybe i’m not such an idiot, then.”

[joongieology]

i’m such a slut for having my tits played with. why isn’t someone playing with my tits right now. what a cruel world we live in

[joongieology]

jugular - park seonghwa

ghost!park seonghwa x fem!reader

nsfw content - do not interact or read if you are under 18

tw - smut, horror, blood/blood play (do not take this warning lightly), temperature play, recurring nightmares, swearing, brief description of injury, implied character death, vomit in the last sentence

word count: 5.8k

this fic was written as a part of @tohokuu's halloween collab!

Stepping into the small house, you felt overcome with a sense of pride and relief. Sure, there was little to no furniture and the floor wasn’t exactly clean, but it was all yours. Your own house. Your own home.

You’d gotten it for an amazing price - it was a two bedroom house only a ten minute bus ride from the city center and had cost practically half the price of any other house in the area. There were no flaws - not with the electricity, piping or structure - nor was there any internal damage, so you hadn’t posed a single question to the estate agent who’d shown you around the house. You didn’t care too much as to why it was priced so low or why nobody else was trying to buy the house. It was already hard enough to find an affordable property, especially when you didn’t have much money saved up, so you weren’t going to make it any harder for yourself. No, you were happy to take any safe and sturdy property that you could afford. The fact that this house was gorgeous both inside and out was just an added bonus.

You set down your backpack full of essentials and looked around the small entryway, humming to yourself. There were a few boxes set down in front of the front door, each of them labelled with what was inside. They weren’t heavy and there weren’t many of them. Since you hadn’t had a space this big to yourself before you didn’t have many belongings to carry in either. You’d take care of that soon, you told yourself. But for the first afternoon, there were more important things to get done.

You fixed the lightbulbs in each room, put away your kitchen utensils and toiletries before carrying the boxes filled with your clothes and personal belongings one by one into your bedroom. You took a quick shower and made the bed afterwards, throwing yourself into the clean sheets and inhaling deeply. The flowery scent of fabric softener filled your nose and the familiar smell of your old apartment mixed with the smell of your new home - an odd mix of dust, cleaning products and blood.

Blood?

You sat up, narrowing your eyes and drawing in a deep breath through your nose. But the smell was gone, leaving behind only the smell of dust and cleaning products. You frowned, looking around the room to see if there was anything that might have given off the metallic smell, and found that there was nothing other than your cardboard boxes and a few things you’d already set down around the room. Whatever. Maybe the floor just needed cleaning.

You ordered takeout and spent the rest of the evening watching old movies on your phone, content to be by yourself in your own peaceful space. It was only when you were trying to sleep that the smell of blood filled your nose again, heavy in your nostrils each time you breathed in.

“What the fuck,” you muttered to yourself, pushing your face into your pillow. To your dismay, this only made the smell stronger. You reminded yourself to clean the floor in the morning.

You woke up early the next day, your skin covered in goosebumps from the stale, cold air of the bedroom. You shuddered beneath the covers, sitting up and looking around to figure out where the cold air was coming from but - just like with the smell of blood last night - you couldn’t find the source of the draught. The window was shut and when you checked the radiator it was warm beneath your touch. Maybe there had been some sort of flaw they hadn’t told you about. But you knew that there wasn’t - you’d checked thoroughly with the electricity and water suppliers as well as the neighbouring houses. Nothing was wrong with the house.

Then why was it so fucking cold?

You grumbled to yourself as you opened the bedroom door, stilling when you realised that the air in the hallway was just as warm and comfortable as it had been the night before. You reached a hand back into the bedroom, cursing under your breath at the obvious difference in temperature. You left the door open as you made your way to the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast, in the hopes that the circulation of air might warm up the room before you had to go to sleep again.

The day rushed by, a blur of grocery shopping, furniture building and wiping down every surface in the house. It felt more comfortable now, and the cold in your bedroom was almost unnoticeable, nothing like the unbearable icy air that you’d woken up to earlier in the day. You spent the evening calmly wrapping fairy lights around the headboard of your bed and arranging a set of scented candles around your bedroom, so that by the time you were done it looked just like your bedroom in your old apartment. Except this time it was better, because it was all yours.

You made yourself dinner, singing to yourself as you did so. You no longer had to worry about bothering any roommates with your music or whether somebody had left their dishes behind in the sink for you to clean up. All you had to worry about was making sure your food didn’t have too much salt in it.

By the time you were in bed and ready to sleep, you’d forgotten about the weird smell the night before. Now, your room smelled like blown-out candles and the lavender-scented moth repellent you’d sprayed in your cupboard, so that when you breathed in deep all you smelled was home and nothing else. Sleep was easy and peaceful.

Until it wasn’t.

There was something wet on your face. You shifted, lifting a hand to wipe away what you assumed to be sweat or tears you’d shed in your sleep, but the liquid was warmer than your skin was. You opened your eyes to examine your hand. Red. The liquid was red. The smell of blood suddenly hit you full force, a dozen times stronger than it had been the previous night. Each breath you took seemed to make the smell stronger, your head spinning as you looked around to figure out the source of the smell. After a few moments of panic, you found it.

The ceiling was stained scarlet, blood slowly dripping from it as though it were rain leaking through the roof during a storm. You couldn’t help the whimper you let out as you sat up, the smell making you so dizzy that you struggled to sit upright.

“What the fuck,” you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut. Another drop of the warm liquid hit your head, pulling a scream from your throat. “What the fuck!”

“Shh,” a voice came from beside you. You screamed again and scrambled away from your bed as fast as you could, shivering from how cold your room was. Your knees hit the hardwood floor hard and you wailed, tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to open the door. You couldn’t grip the door handle. Why couldn’t you grip the door handle? A glance downward revealed why. Your hands were slippery with blood, glistening even in the low moonlight filtering in through your blinds. A sob escaped you, body shuddering as you tried desperately to grab the handle.

“Shit!” you yelled, pounding your fists against the door. It was futile. Nobody would hear you. You were living alone now after all. “Shit, shit, shit-”

“Shh,” the same voice from before whispered. You screamed again, your body trembling as a frigid hand came to rest on the back of your neck. “It’s okay. Just a little blood.”

“No,” you whispered, covering your face with your hands. You didn’t care about the blood anymore, you just didn’t want to see whoever it was that was behind you. You didn’t want to know if they were the one to blame for the red, steaming liquid dripping from your ceiling. The frigid hand removed itself and was replaced by two arms wrapping around you, just as cold as the hand had been.

“You’re okay,” the person whispered. You shook your head stubbornly, your body fighting to decide whether it should sweat from the heat of the blood or warm itself up from the cold of the chest you were pressed against. “It’s just a little blood.”

Despite yourself, you leaned into the embrace, keeping your eyes squeezed shut as tightly as possible. A pair of cold lips pressed to the top of your head and two thumbs began to rub circles into your arms. You let out another sob, only to be shushed by the cold body the same way a crying baby would be shushed by their parents.

“You’re okay honey. Just a little blood, okay?”

You nodded.

“Just a little-”

You woke with a start. The clock beside your bed read 04:02. Your skin was wet with sweat despite the chill in the air of your bedroom but there was no blood on you, not on your hands or head or cheek. The ceiling was just as clean as it had been when you went to sleep, as was the door handle.

“Fucking hell,” you breathed, letting out a long sigh.

It was just a dream. Okay, maybe not a dream. It was just a nightmare. There was no reason to be scared. It had all just been in your head. Not that you’d be able to get back to sleep now. You made your way to the bathroom, gripping your phone tight enough to make your knuckles turn white. You were grateful that the air outside of your room wasn’t cold, otherwise you would’ve had to contact your electricity provider. You were so shaken that you almost didn’t notice the drop of blood in your sink. Almost.

You’d never had such vivid dreams before in your life but they suddenly became a nightly occurrence. The hot blood, the cold arms and gentle words. Your bedroom was tainted by the image of the blood-stained bed sheets and ceiling you saw almost every night when you went to sleep so that even during the day when the air wasn’t freezing and there wasn’t a single drop of crimson around the room you found yourself shuddering at the sight of it. The worst part was that small pieces of the dreams carried over into real life - bruises stained your knees from when you would fall out of bed and dry blood gathered beneath your nails. It didn’t help to know that you were stuck here now, alone with all of your money wrapped up in the house you’d been so ecstatic to own at first.

Through all the dreams, you learned only one thing: the person that had reassured you during the first nightmare was anything but hostile. Each night his gentle voice lulled you out of the dream and into the present before you could throw yourself into a complete panic, cold but steady hands smoothing over the top of your head and leaving blood behind.

“It’s just a little blood,” he told you every night. But it wasn’t just a little blood. It was copious amounts of it, soaking through your pyjamas and into the mattress with a scent so strong that it made you nauseous. The same dream every night, only a little different each time. Tonight was no different.

You smelled it before you saw or felt it. The smell was followed by a wet hand on your forehead. Oh. That part was new.

“Wake up,” he murmured - the same man who usually woke you with nothing more than his gentle reassurances. His thumb rubbed between your brows, smearing blood over your skin. “Come on. There’s no blood this time, I swear.”

This wasn’t the dream you had every night. You opened your eyes in confusion, met with bright eyes looking down at you and lips parted in a curious expression. The man smiled.

“There you are,” he said. He sounded just like the man from your dreams, gentle and quiet. But why did he have a face this time? Why was he standing over you instead of holding you from behind? And why wasn’t he comforting you the way he usually did? “You look prettier when you’re awake.”

“Awake?” you asked, your heart pounding so hard that you could hear the blood rushing in your ears and feel the veins in your neck pulsing. He nodded happily, pulling back from you when you moved to sit up. You took a moment to look around the room. He’d been honest - there was no blood to be found in the room, except for all over him. As always, you tried and failed to find the source of the blood that was dripping from his hair and soaking his clothes. There wasn’t enough light in the room to tell where it was from and besides, he was so soaked in it that you probably wouldn’t have been able to tell anyway. You felt bile rise in your throat. “What are you- fuck, what the fuck are you doing here? Who are you?”

His happy smile fell, replaced by an expression that almost looked hurt.

“You moved into my house,” he told you, as though you’d asked him a stupid question. You shook your head, shifting in the bed to try and get away from him. He followed you with no question, kneeling down on the bed and leaning closer to you. You could feel tears welling in your eyes already, your mind racing as you tried to figure out who the fuck was in your house.

“No, this is- this is my house! I paid for it!” you yelled, a small spark of guilt filling your chest when he looked even more hurt than before.

“This is my bedroom,” he said firmly, staining the bed crimson as he moved towards you. Where was the fucking blood coming from? “I tried to keep it clean for you but the blood keeps coming back, I don’t know how to get rid of it.”

“It’s you!” you screamed, tears rolling down your cheeks. He immediately reached out to wipe them away, his skin freezing even though the blood on his hand was so hot that it almost burned you. The touch was familiar, just as careful as it was in your dreams, and you leaned into it on instinct. “You’re the one covered in it!”

“That’s not my fault,” he mumbled. When you didn’t calm down, he moved to straddle you, holding your face in slick, caring hands. “Don’t cry. I thought if you were awake you wouldn’t cry.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you whimpered, letting him hug you to his chest.

“I wanted to look after you,” he said softly, rubbing your back. “To thank you for looking after my house.”

You took a hold of his soaked shirt, holding onto it tight as you leaned forward into him. It was just another dream. Your brain was just screwing with you, trying to make you think this man was real. If you were honest, it was working. He felt so real beneath your touch, his soaked shirt coating your hands in blood and his cold breath on the top of your head felt more than just vivid. You shook your head again and he shushed you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m scared,” you admitted, sniffing back tears when he wiped your cheek fondly, only further dirtying it with blood.

“None of that now. The blood is over, there’s no need to be scared,” he whispered, clicking his tongue at you. “Let me make it better, hm?”

You nodded desperately. He’d fixed these dreams so many times before, this time would be no different. He let go of you, shifting back a little so that he was smiling down at you. You could see the full extent of what he looked like now that your eyes had adjusted to the dark and you found that he was handsome, eyes all but sparkling as he looked down at you.

“This is a lonely house when you live alone, isn’t it?” he asked. You nodded, sniffling and trying to wipe your cheeks with your wet palms, gagging when it only intensified the smell of blood flooding your lungs. He tutted softly, pulling your hands away from your face and setting them down by your sides. “I know. I lived here with someone else but they moved away. Left me alone here. It’s not a good place to live alone.”

He sounded sad but the smile on his face didn’t waver at all.

“But I’m here to keep you company now. I’ve been alone for so long and I knew you would be lonely too,” he cooed with a small pout, leaning down to press a kiss against your forehead. You shivered at the feeling of his cold lips on your skin and the sticky feeling they left behind. His fingertips trailed down the sides of your neck, pressing over your pulsing veins so that both you and him could feel the blood rushing beneath your skin. You stared at him while he admired you and finally found the source of the blood: a deep gash in the side of his throat that glimmered each time it caught the light coming in through your blinds. It bled steadily, the flow of blood never slowing. It didn’t explain the blood in his hair or on his face, but it made more sense than no source of blood at all. “Will you let me take care of you?”

You shifted your gaze to his face and found that he was watching you examine him with eyes just as curious as yours probably were, his blunt fingernails digging into your skin as he felt your pulse. You nodded before you had even processed his question properly. He smiled, lips stretching to show his teeth. Slowly, he leaned in closer to you, nose brushing against yours while his cold breath ghosted over your lips. You waited for him to say something - anything - but there was nothing, just the sound of his breathing and if you listened closely enough, the wet sound of his neck pumping out a constant stream of blood. Then he kissed you.

His skin was so cold that it hurt to kiss him, your own lips becoming numb and stiff the longer he stayed close to you. Just when you were sure your lips would turn to ice, his lips parted against yours and with a soft exhale, blood poured from his mouth into yours. His blood. The liquid was hot enough to make you forget about the cold of his hands holding your neck, staining your tongue so that even when you swallowed to stop yourself from choking you could taste it. He pulled back then, tongue sliding over your bottom lip in what must’ve been an attempt to lick away the blood. Instead, all he did was drip more of it from his tongue onto your skin, scarlet dripping down your chin and onto your chest.

“See?” he hummed, letting go of your neck and sliding his hands up your shirt to hold your waist. You whimpered at the touch, your skin feeling like it was on fire now that you understood what he meant by taking care of you - or maybe that was just your body trying to protect itself from his icy touch. “It’s just a little blood.”

“Just a little-”

Your voice cut off in a gasp as his hands pushed up to squeeze your chest, wet fingertips dragging circles into your skin as he leaned in to kiss you again, sharing another mouthful of hot, pungent blood with you as he did so. This time, you let it spill from your mouth instead of trying to swallow, whining when he licked into your mouth and pushed more of the warm liquid down your throat. Despite the mess that his blood was making all over both of you, he was careful as he kissed you, teeth digging into your bottom lip hard enough to make you gasp but never enough to hurt you while his hands pushed your pyjama shirt upwards, exposing your chest to the cold air of your bedroom.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered against your lips, the taste of him still strong on your tongue.

“You’re cold,” you whined, biting back a gasp when his thumbs rubbed over your nipples. He seemed pleased by the sound, repeating the action before twisting your nipples with a soft huff of laughter.

“Not warm enough?” he asked, voice taking on a teasing tone that was so foreign it made you shudder.

“Not warm enough,” you repeated after him. He hummed and gestured for you to lift your arms. You followed blindly, your breath catching in your throat when he pulled your shirt upward, tugging it over your head and off of your arms. Your skin was only more exposed to the cold now and you let out a frustrated whine, wrapping your arms around yourself. “It’s fucking- you’re so cold.”

“Shh,” he cooed, the same way he did in your dreams. The sound made your head fuzzy, goosebumps prickling your skin as he nosed at your neck and moved his hands down to your stomach. “It’s okay.”

You tried to protest again but all words died in your throat when one of his hands slipped below the waistband of your pyjama pants. His fingertips were so cold on your skin that the touch almost hurt, but each frigid sting was washed away by hot blood that seemed to spill from each pore on his body. The liquid ran in rivulets down the insides of your thighs, pulling you out of your daze as you became all too aware of the arousal throbbing between your legs.

“Shit,” you breathed, tilting your head to expose more of your neck to the man straddling you. He made an appreciative noise in the back of his throat, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over your skin until you were sure you were covered in just as much of his blood as he was. Your stomach was twisting from the smell of it but you didn’t mind as much as you had done earlier, not when you could feel yourself getting wetter, your hips pushing upward in hopes of getting his hand closer to where you wanted it. “Please. Come on, please- fuck, I don’t even know your name.”

The man listened to your frustrated words with a smile on his lips.

“Seong-hwa,” he said, separating the syllables with a brief pause. He kept the tip of his tongue between his bloodied teeth, grinning down at you.

The name was familiar. Why was it familiar? You were sure you’d heard of a famous Seonghwa before but your thoughts were so jumbled that you could barely remember how to breathe, let alone remember where you’d last heard the name.

“Still cold?” he asked, pulling his hand from where it had been resting beneath your pyjama pants to cup your cheek. You shook your head no and he smiled, pulling back so that he was no longer straddling you. You watched as he unbuttoned his shirt, peeling the soaked material from his skin and setting it aside. His eyes stayed fixed on yours as he took off his pants (pyjama pants, you noticed) and then pushed down his underwear to reveal his dick, hard and dripping not only with blood but precum too, his hand shaking as he wrapped it around himself.

“Fuck,” you whispered, the word intensifying the metallic taste in your mouth. He made no move to come closer to you, blood dripping from his parted lips to meet the head of his length. “Fuck.”

“You’ll get cold if you just sit there,” he warned, voice strained as he pushed his hips upward to fuck into his fist.

He was right. The blood on his skin never seemed to dry, wet and dripping on every inch of his skin, but on your skin it was quickly coagulating into a sticky layer that made the brisk air of the room bite into your skin, your lips quickly turning numb now that the warmth of his blood was out of your reach. You had a clear view of the gash in his neck from this angle and the way the blood was gushing from it and pouring down his skin, gathering in the dip of his collarbone to form a little pool before it spilled over and trickled down his sternum to where his hand was wrapped around his dick. He watched you watch him, a knowing smile on his lips. It was far too cold in the room to stay away from the only source of heat.

You clumsily pushed yourself up off of the bed, practically falling on top of Seonghwa in your rush to get to him. He clicked his tongue not in annoyance but in amusement, arms wrapping around your waist to squeeze you close before he was sliding down your pyjama pants.

“Are you cold honey?” he asked, fingers kneading into the flesh of your ass and thighs as you clung to him. You nodded, pressing your face against him, uncaring of how the blood slid against your skin or that the stench of it was now permanent in your airway and almost unnoticeable when you inhaled deeply to hold back a moan. Seonghwa’s wet fingers dipped between your legs for just a moment before his movements stopped entirely. “Do you still want me to take care of you?”

You shifted your hips in an attempt to get his touch back where you wanted it, the feeling of his hard-on pressed up against your stomach enough to push a moan out of you. But Seonghwa kept you still, one arm tight around you to stop you from chasing his touch again.

“That’s not an answer darling,” he murmured, lips pressing to your jaw in a gentle kiss.

You keened low in your throat.

“Yes. Please,” you begged. “Please, Seonghwa.”

You barely felt when he started to move, only felt two of his fingers pressing into you while he grinded his cock forward against your stomach, cold skin and hot blood giving you pins and needles all over. His fingers felt so much warmer than the rest of him, each slight movement amplified by the heat radiating off of them. He groaned when you slumped forward against him, curling his fingers at just the right angle to make your body jolt.

“There we go,” he murmured, his movements speeding up now that he’d found the spot that made you whimper against his skin. A soft laught made it’s way past his lips when you struggled to find purchase on him thanks to how slick your hands were with his blood, the moans leaving your lips steadily growing louder with each languid flick of his wrist. “There you go. Does it feel better?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, one of your hands sliding clumsily down his side until it caught on his hip. He drew in a sharp breath at the feeling, his hips pushing forward into you. Oh. You shifted your hand, fingertips drawing small circles into his skin until they met his dick, warm and heavy in your hand as you adjusted your grip on it. He choked on a moan, fingers shoving deeper into you when you began to stroke him. His skin was feverish beneath your palm, such a sharp contrast to how icy he’d felt earlier that for a moment you were worried it was all a dream after all. “You’re so warm.”

There was no answer for a while, just his quiet moans against your skin and the lewd sound of his fingers inside of you and your hand around his length, every movement louder thanks to the excess blood on both of you. Finally, with a particularly rough push of his fingers, he spoke a near-silent reply into your skin.

“I told you I would take care of you,” he said, pulling his fingers from you and bringing them to his mouth. You pulled back just far enough to take in the sight of your arousal coating his fingers, mixed with his blood so that they were one and the same, before his tongue parted them both, licking between them and pushing them into his bloody mouth. When he pulled them out, there was no trace of you left, only the familiar blood that coated the rest of his body. The longer you were apart from him, the more you began to shiver, your skin exposed entirely to the numbing cold air of your room. He grinned at you, taking a hold of your wrist to pull your hand off of him. His palm was so hot it almost burned your skin. “Is something wrong honey?”

“It’s cold,” you whimpered. Your body felt like it was about to explode, your cunt throbbing with need and your skin on fire where Seonghwa held you, while the rest of you turned numb, the cold making it hard to think. Had it gotten colder in your room? “Fuck, it’s cold.”

“Do you want me to take care of it?” he asked, leaning forward so that you could feel the heat radiating off of him. You tried to lean forward but found yourself frozen in place. He practically purred when you let out a panicked whine. “Do you want me to make it better? Make the cold go away?”

“Yes,” you choked out, the word clumsy and heavy as it passed through your numb lips.

That was all he needed to hear.

His lips pressed against yours and this time the taste of his blood flooding your mouth was euphoric, your body relaxing into his touch as he lay you down on the bed and used his fervent hands to part your legs so that he could slot between them. His movements were fluid and your body accommodated him with ease, allowing his warmth to seep through his skin into yours.

“Better?” he asked, lips moving against yours as he spoke. You shuddered, wrapping your legs around his hips to bring him closer, moaning quietly when it pressed his dick forward against your entrance.

“Closer,” you whispered, tilting your chin upward to chase his lips.

“Greedy,” he scolded, kissing you slowly but with no less fervour than before.

With a careful shift of his hips he pushed into you, the stretch enough to make tears well in your eyes as you gasped, inhaling the breath from Seonghwa’s lungs until there was none left. It was only when he bottomed out, hips flush against yours, that you let out the breath you were holding, your body relaxing into the blood-soaked mattress as he began to fuck into you. Each of his movements soothed the stinging pain that the caustic air had left behind until there was nothing but the heat of his skin on yours and his blood in your mouth and the pulsing pleasure of his length inside of you.

“You're gorgeous like this,” he groaned between gritted teeth, breaking the kiss so that he could look down at you, a string of saliva and blood that slowly dripped to your chin connecting both your mouths. He thrust harder then, smiling when it caused you to cry out. “Or how would you say it? You’re so fucking pretty.”

He emphasised the mocking words with another rough slam of his hips, bringing his hand down to rub circles into your clit as he fucked you. His warmth was embedded in your skin now, the icy air of the room no longer a thought in your mind now that you were so desperate for release. You barely registered the volume of your moans increasing when he set a merciless pace, his thrusts never faltering even as you began to clench around him, your nails digging into his arms as you grabbed onto him.

“Seonghwa,” you cried out, voice hoarse and throat sore. “Seonghwa please, I’m gonna cum-”

“You’re gonna cum all over me?” he asked gently, tears spilling from your eyes as you nodded. He grinned and trailed feather-light kisses from your temple down to your neck. “Cum for me, my pretty girl. I’ve got you.”

Your body tensed as you came, Seonghwa’s thrusts coming to a stop as he pressed himself as deep into you as he could. An unbearable warmth washed over you, your legs trembling and mouth open as you gasped for breath that wasn’t reaching your lungs. You blinked away tears and as your vision cleared, you found that Seonghwa was looking down at you, lips coated in blood. Except this blood was different. Redder. Shinier. Runnier.

“What’s happen-”

You were cut off by something hot bubbling up your throat, gushing from your lips and spilling down your chin even when you tried to swallow it down. Beneath your wheezing and choking you could hear it: the hollow bubbling of blood pumping just below your ear, pouring down your skin and up through your lips.

"You're okay," Seonghwa reassured you.

Tears blurred your vision again.

“Shh,” he whispered. “It’s just a little blood.”

“Just a little-”

You woke with a start. The clock beside your bed read 16:02. Had you really slept that long? The air in the room was frigid but there was a thin layer of sweat covering your skin and between your legs, the uncomfortable heat of arousal. Those fucking nightmares.

You headed to the kitchen, ignoring the way your pyjama pants were damp between your legs and how sore your throat was. You turned on the kettle and while you waited for the water to boil, decided to figure out which Seonghwa you’d been thinking of during the nightmare. You typed the name into the search engine on your phone, waiting patiently for the results.

Disappearance of Park Seong Hwa.

Right, that’s where you knew the name from. The missing persons case from a few years back. You clicked on the link.

Despite the abundance of his DNA in the home when the police investigated - including blood on the ceiling of his bedroom and in his bathroom sink - authorities were never able to find him.

Shit. You scrolled through the article, your skin crawling as you tried to dismiss the nausea building in your stomach. It only took a few seconds to find it: your address listed as that of the supposedly deceased Park Seonghwa, right below a picture of the man you’d seen in your dreams.

You managed only one coherent thought as you threw up into your mouth: no wonder the house was so fucking cheap.

♡

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