just-1other-nerd - Tumblr blog

[just-1other-nerd]

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I JUST REALISED

MONSTER

AND THE HORSE AND THE INFANT

START WITH THE SAME RIFT

THE BEGINNING OF ODYSSEUS’S STORY AND THE BEGINNING OF HIS END START THE SAME WAYYYY HELP I AM UNWELL

[just-1other-nerd]

Being able to hear the progression of Odysseus’ soldiers getting smaller and smaller throughout the musical because the echoing is not as strong, it doesn’t sound as full, there’s not as many voices

The echoing comes back stronger when Odysseus is hearing the voices of his lost men in The Underworld. The echoing falls back to a much smaller sound/number of voices when Odysseus’ still alive men are singing with him

[just-1other-nerd]

thinking about the fact that the lyrics of the "open arms" chorus are polites' final thoughts and polites' final word spoken aloud is "captain" (desperate, hurt, pleading) and how that means even as he was at the mercy of the cyclops, even as he was probably terrified but all too aware of what was about to happen to him, he was still thinking about all of the guilt he knew was already in odysseus heart. how much more guilt was GOING to be in odysseus' heart after his death.

and how he spent those final seconds wanting to tell odysseus to still, despite it all, greet the world with open arms.

[just-1other-nerd]

Fascinated and devastated by EPIC: The Musical flipping the moral script of Odysseus' arc, yet coming to the same conclusions.

There's Classic Odysseus, who accepts that his fate and the fate of his men are out of his control. Classic Odysseus, who knowingly sacrificed six men to Scylla and accepted the cost without second thought. Classic Odysseus, who mourns his men then blames them for their own deaths because of disobedience or cowardice or hunger, comparing them to the goats herded on Ithaca.

And there's EPIC Odysseus, who from the start chafes against the will of the gods in favor of his compassion. EPIC Odysseus, who does not accept that his fate and the fate of his men are out of his control and suffers because of it. EPIC Odysseus, who is clever as ever, yet reckless with his heart.

But they are not so different as that. Troy did make Odysseus kinder. Patroclus demonstrated to them all how compassion is more honorable than any act of glory when he lied and took up arms and fought without thought to his own prestige, but only so that the slaughter of his friends would end. Odysseus saw the horrors committed after Troy's walls fell. He--the liar, the schemer, the man of many turns--understood the dishonor more than anyone and refused to repeat it for the sake of others.

They both come to understand that the wicked, vicious, ruthless aspect of their nature is acceptable when used in defense of their own. They slaughter their enemies with honor, but they will slaughter their enemies. They draw the line in the sand. Every man will be given the chance to prove their honor--hospitality and strangers, it always returns to hospitality and strangers, Zeus is the god of both and demands their sanctity--and every man who crosses that line will prove himself an enemy. And enemies will be slaughtered and sacrificed like cattle.

Ruthlessness is mercy--mercy for Penelope and Telemachus and Laertes who have suffered by his absence, who survived twenty years unprotected and three years under siege only by Penelope's cleverness. Not even to mention Ithaca and its people left without a king. Who else could have saved them? With Laertes too old and Telemachus too young and Penelope confined to only her loom and her tongue as weapons.

Were they worth the deaths of 600 soldiers? 108 young men? 12 enslaved women?

Athena, and through her the epic itself, declares that they are worth the bloodshed, for they are on the right side of the line.

[just-1other-nerd]

Odysseus sings "so much has changed but I'm the same, yes I'm the same!" with so much confidence for a man who's about to become his own self-fulfilling prophecy

[just-1other-nerd]

Do you think Odysseus realizes that Tiresias never refers to “them” getting home in the plural sense? It’s only singular. It’s only Odysseus. Do you think he realizes that?? Odysseus uses plural terms to refer to him and his men, and Tiresias is very careful and cryptic with his words, but his prophecies are true, even if the meaning is not clear at the time, and he is referring to a single, not a plural, for the entire prophecy.

[just-1other-nerd]

I was relistening to Ruthlessness and I heard Poseidons “43 left under your command” and I immediately thought of the “558 men who died” part of The Underworld and oh my god he remembered to include that one guy who got drunk and fell off of Circe’s roof that’s amazing

[just-1other-nerd]

that WHO in no longer u oh my GOD

YESSSS

Like, yeah, Odysseus is like "Yandere" (joking but also not) because kills all who even go near Penelope and Telemachus and he's very protective of them AND jealous.

But I think this "WHO?!" is also a desperate plea as to who is this dangerous man who is near his wife? A warlord? A conquerer? A man who would not even care about Penelope for who she is and mistreats her?

Because even in the Odyssey, Odysseus asks about Penelope to his mother.

Tell me of the wife I married. What are her thoughts and plans? Is she still there with our son, keeping watch on everything? Or has she been married                            to the finest of Achaeans?

(Book 11, Johnston)

There's not even much resentment in his question. There could be but Narrator does not say. The use of "the finest of Achaeans" almost is a "Did she at least marry the best man? Did she at least marry a GOOD man?"

In "No Longer You", when he hears of this dangerous man NEAR his wife, he is SCARED. It could be jealousy but I feel it's more of concern. As it is in the Odyssey.

"I understand if she would remarry, it pains me but I did tell her that when Telemachus finally grows his beard, she could. I will love her always but is she at least happy? Is she safe?"

And she's not safe. She's not happy. He is terrified.

Psst. The reason why My Odysseus takes a long time to grow his beard is because of that line. He's hoping that his son will take after him and take forever to grow a beard like he did (as he doesn't really have one even when he first leaves for Troy) because he would try forever to get home. Penelope even teases him that he still doesn't have one so that's a silly request and that's the point. "I will never stop trying to come back to you. He and I will likely remain beardless forever." (it's a little funky for him when he finally grows one by the end of Troy. He's thinking "...Shit. Telemachus, stay baby-faced for your dad please.")

ANYWAYS.

I mean we all know that these two are obsessed with each other in the Odyssey and in Epic. They are likeminded and are so integral to who they are. They mean everything to one another. I think Odysseus genuinely does want Penelope happy. As even in the Odyssey with him simply asking for another bed, shows how much he loves and respects her. He could've been like "get in it" even though she had rejected him at first but he LISTENS BECAUSE HE LOVES HER. Only breaking down into a sobbing mess when he believes she destroyed their bed.

"Heaven made you as you are, but for sheer obstinacy you put all the rest of your sex in the shade. No other wife could have steeled herself to keep so long out of the arms of a husband she had just got back after nineteen years of misadventure. Well, nurse, make a bed for me to sleep alone in. For my wife's heart is just about as hard as iron."

(Book 23, Rieu)

Please note that this is his attempt to insult her in a way and yet he still talks about her being from Heaven 👀 SIMP

But even though he's deeply hurt by her rejection (poor guy would've probably sobbed himself to sleep) He still asks for another bed. After sleeping on the floor and in the dirt since he's been on Ithaca, refusing beds unless it's his own marriage bed, he takes her 'no' because he values her happiness and comfort over his own. He takes a lesser bed so she can still sleep in their own luxurious one.

I mean we know how fucking awful the suitors are. Hold Them Down is a disturbing song. (as it should be. As they are not good men) He does not even know how bad these men are yet. If his future self could speak with his past self, he'd probably be like "Yeah, don't worry about the guy who kills a bunch of people, they had it coming. ;) " or something.

That "WHO?!" is a mix of jealousy AND fear.

[just-1other-nerd]

Listening to Epic’s Underworld Saga, and I just.., the background creaking of the boat through out ‘The Underworld’ makes everything even more heartbreaking.

I can just imagine Odysseus seeing his lost loved ones and walking along the length of the boat as they pass them, trying to stay with them as long as he can. Until he’s at the back of the boat, watching his mother fade in the distance.

“Bye mom…” fucking killed me 😭😭😭

[just-1other-nerd]

"Monster" Thoughts

GUYS GUYS, When I said last time that the "Just A Man" references made me want to curl up in bed and never leave I wasn't kidding, I think I'm gonna be bedridden when I get home

“I’m the only one whose linnnne I haven’t crossed” goes so hard for no reason

The first “what if I’m the monster” had me almost running a stop sign earlier btw, it had me stunned

I love how Jorge portrays Odysseus's guilt vs his enemies. The implication that Odysseus believes he is the only one regretting his choices, but also its interesting in how he describes hypothetical guilt for them "is he up in the middle of the night?" "Is she going insane?" "Is he scared that he's doing something wrong?" as being something that happens to them vs his own being because of who he is "cause he is vile"

Him repeating Poseidon?!?!?!?!

“I lost my best friend, I lost my mentor, My Mom” Stoppp with those, I cant take it

“And If I gotta drop another infant from a wall in a instant so we all don’t die?!” what stage of grief does this fall in, I gotta make sure to take notes

The echoing "monster" behind Odysseus's "Penelope" and "Telemachus", that's it, that's all I have to say on that

[just-1other-nerd]

i am sooo normal about No Longer You. soooo normal. something something while yes, technically it's you, going through all that shit changed you so much that it's No Longer You. something something When Does a Man Become A Monster something something when they lose everything. everyone. something something if you change basically everything about a person, are they still them? something something Every Time Someone Dies I'm Left To Deal With The Strain something something im crying on the floor.

[just-1other-nerd]

Epic: The Underworld Saga

The Underworld Saga slaps. But I'm gonna drop another bucket of feels to The Underworld number.

Remember to get to the Underworld, you have to cross the River Styx. Odysseus is going by ship, but most of the time, it's just dead souls moving on to the afterlife, so they cross with Charon the Ferryman.

Thing is, though, you have to pay him.

Part of the burial rites in Ancient Greece was placing a coin in the mouth or near the body of the deceased so they could pay Charon to bring them across the river. No coin, no crossing.

Polites was killed by the Cyclops and left behind.

The 558 men drowned in the ocean after Poseidon's rampage.

His mother Anticlea drowned herself off the shores of Ithaka. (At least in versions of the story I remember. Somebody who's actually read The Odyssey will have more accurate information on her fate.)

None of them received a proper burial.

So all those souls they encounter in that number are trapped in limbo for eternity because they can't pay for the crossing.

[just-1other-nerd]

Vs

.

.

i am ILL.

[just-1other-nerd]

The thing about Monster that I'm currently obsessed with: the way Odysseus humanizes his enemies as he dehumanizes himself. He correctly describes the motivations of the Cyclops, Circe, and even Poseidon which takes a level of understanding that people struggle with under the best circumstances. But then in the same verse he describes himself from the view of the Trojans. ("Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping soldiers because he is vile?")

and of course the whole song is "Monster". If Odysseus can't stop seeing his enemies as people (seeing his own son in the Trojan infant), if that is what is killing his men and if there is no future where he makes it home as the person he is, then of course he has no choice but to stop being a person.

[just-1other-nerd]

little sister back at it again with the epic the musical takes

[just-1other-nerd]

Odysseus: the Gods have allowed me to live another day and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem

The Gods, getting ready to boot him to Calypso’s island: actually we did not allow that

[just-1other-nerd]

The "So much has changed but I'm the same, Yes I'm the same" to the "Then I'll become the Monster" pipeline is so brutal